Watch What Crappens - Summer House: Wine & Cheesy

Episode Date: March 28, 2023

This week on Summer House (S7E07), we see fractures in Danielle's relationship with Robert, and Lindsay wants to throw down on girls night. Plus, Chris continues to be a total dud.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. This episode is sponsored by Uber1. We've all used Uber for rides, and I love using UberEats for food delivery. Okay, hello. I mean, I kind of live off of it. But have you ever heard about Uber1? Uber1 is a membership that helps you save on Uber and UberEats. With an Uber-1 membership, you get exclusive member perks, like up to 10% off UberEats and a $0 delivery fee on eligible orders. It just makes sense. I'm always getting Uberes.

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What happens What crap What What What Happens when there's so what if Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about.

I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today is a man who loves nothing more than summertime and houses. It's Mr. Ronnie Kerrim. Hi, how are you? Well, hello, Ben. How are you doing today? I'm in nice, lovely afternoon. I'm sure I'm.

It's a great day today. Everything's going great. Went to the home goods, made sure everything was in order. It was. So hi to everybody over there. So that was great. Good, good, good. Try to do another push-up, still not working for me. That's pretty much it. What's up with

you? Just hanging out here with you, just chilling out. We're talking Summer House today, but real quick, just a reminder that later this week we're going to Seattle, Washington in San Francisco, California, and we're going gonna talk Real Housewives of New Jersey in Seattle and Vanderpump Rules in San Francisco. So those episodes will be up towards the end of the week. We also have Real Housewives Ultimate Girl Strip episodes two

and episodes three, those recaps are coming up also this week in the middle of the week. And do go check Dwell Hello, which is a one Dree Plus exclusive show where we recap episodes of House Hunters and House Hunters International. It's an every other week thing.

It's really fun. We know a lot, everyone watches those shows. So the latest one was about a lady moving to the champagne region of France and we had a lot of fun with that. So go check that out. And yeah, watch your crapids.com to get tickets to all the shows. We're going to, in next month, we're going to Toronto and Philadelphia. Toronto has like got like negative three tickets left, but there might be ones still left on the website. Philadelphia, big show coming down the pike. That's going to be great. We always have an amazing

audience there too. And then in May, we're going to New York and DC to other major stops for us. So those are all going to be super fun, super big shows. We don't know what we're recapping for them just yet. That's a little bit too far down the line for us to be able to say that. But come along anyway and be with your people. You're gonna have a great time and go to watchcraftens.com to get your tickets. Kai.

Okay, Kai. Yeah. Well, that was it. That was all I had to say, Kai. And then today, it's time for Summer House, the latest episode of Summer House, you know, what's gonna happen? What's gonna happen with Lindsay N'Amanda, huh?

Having a conversation. Oh my gosh, I don't know. So where do we start? So we start with them leaving the house, which is always kind of an odd place to start. It's like summer house. I mean, it was been his party. And then they open with everybody being like,

bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, go. So they're all leaving and Lindsay has just asked Amanda to meet so they could talk in private. And Amanda looks like she's about to poop herself. And then Amanda's thanking everybody for her breakfast. And she thinks some in that way that you know, she's not happy about because she's like, guys, thanks so much for

breakfast. You guys are like literally the best. This is totally how I like to celebrate with like bagels throwing on a tray. Just something low key. Yeah, just like a collection of carbohydrates. Like thanks guys. This made me feel like you were aware of me in this house. Thank you so much.

And I see it's Tuesday and upside down flowers. What is that? I'm not sure, but they go to the Alchemist kitchen. Maybe that was the logo and upset on flower. I think it is upside down. I think that's what it is. I don't think they have those upside down flower bouquets, which is so weird, because I just saw an Instagram ad with those upside down flower bouquets, which is so weird because I just saw an Instagram ad with these upside down

Flour bouquets that you put over your shower nozzle and then it makes your shower smell better. Oh guys If your shower smells bad that you're hanging flowers upside down like they used to do when old when people died like before they had deodorants I don't know by zest like What are you putting flowers in there? Can you get bugs everywhere? No offense to that company, but I was very bothered. But offense, offense to that company. Yeah. So now we're at the Alchemist Kitchen, which is like a spiritual place, which is funny

because I don't think of Alchemy necessarily as a spiritual thing. I just think of it as like a medieval thing that people would, yeah, well people were gonna like, yeah, make gold out of things. And I'm talking about that right now, and we're not just like talking about alchemy. We're also just in that person's kitchen. So it's like, oh, this is what an alchemist makes for dinner. But, this is great.

This steak was a rock before. Mmm, delicious. I make gold during the day, and at night, I enjoy lean cuisine. So Gabby is talking to this therapist, like, and she's like, um, I have some like relationship trauma. I said there's a lot of hesitancy about being with someone again. So what do you have in here for that? Like do you have any like lavender good for that? And he's like, um, this is the best way man. I would recommend a home pod.

Okay. It also works as an affid easy act. Okay. An electric keypad lock. Those are good. I'm not a critic. He's out of your purse. Yeah.

He was like, how can I fleece you? Oh, take this crystal and here's a tincture I made from some water that was in my gutter, but I call it moss essence and enjoy So then we hear a song that goes money money money actin' all crazy and just cussed a page sitting on her sofa So then yeah, we go from the essential oil store to page sitting on a couch But the songs all about money so Craig is there and she's like come sit Craig I have some things to show you. I have really, really good stuff to show you.

He's like, good stuff and stuff are bad stuff. Well, you know that bathroom you have downstairs. No, I don't mean the whole in the dirt that you and Austin pee into, but like the actual bathroom downstairs. Yeah, for the house, the one that was just redone. Yeah, so I wanna change the sink into this. It's like gorgeous and like very Charleston.

And also I want this wallpaper. He's like wallpaper, like, well, if it's going to make you happy. Yeah, it will, because right now it's just like unfinished wooden beams with some fist holes in it. He's like, I'm not really that good at this stuff. She says, yeah, I've seen your house. I know, Craig. So, I'd love for you to be more involved,

but also it would be nice if you came down more because you're just complaining about a powder room from hundreds of miles away, really, doesn't do much. She goes, okay, I will. As soon as you have a place that I can poop in private, I will, a tasteful place. With wallpaper. Yeah, I'm a neighbor.

And no fizz holes, that'd be great, thanks. So he's basically like, so like, do we keep doing this? What does it look like? OK, well, we have to make the rules. Like we can do whatever we want, you know? So what I think we could do is that like I stay here and you move up here But you don't get any room in my apartment You just like live downstairs on the street and I call you up when I need you to fix a light bulb

He's like, yeah, not having you there for the weekend is like tough because like I miss you. She's yeah, I'm comedic release so She's like well, I love my life right now. I love my friends. I love my career I love living in New York like why would I want to change it for the guy that can't pick a sink right? You know our one year anniversary is coming up my 30th birthday is coming up. Why would I make big changes? One my first year anniversary in my 30 year birthdays coming okay, I'm not ready to cry right now, so don't make me grow up. I don't want to I don't know if we'll hit like the year mark and like one of us be like,

all right, like can you do long distance after more than like a year? Like I know, like we don't like base our shit off of anyone else, but like I was reading a fortune cookie and it said like one is the loneliness number and I kind of feel like it's just going to be a lonely anniversary. Am I going to be alone? I'm just a little scared right now. Do you should a shy soul even make pillows? Like what am I supposed to do with my life? Well, I've got good news for page, page. 30 years old is when you can say, you know what? I'm not gonna wear a straw bikini top just because it's cute. It's fucking uncomfortable.

And I don't want that shit, okay? And you can take off the straw, bikini top, okay? That's what being 30 is, welcome. You're gonna love it. You're gonna fucking love it. Cause how is she wearing this thing? It looks like she's trying to, it looks like she was having like a naked party and a Michaels and then a security guard came by

and she just scratched it and started putting it over herself to cover herself. Yeah, people on I think on our Facebook page page were putting up images of the bikini that she's wearing as well as placemats from Target. Yeah, they are very placemats. Which by the way, I'm curious. So at some point, they probably will move in should get what do you think they should do? Well, I don't know I mean don't you have to care more? I don't really care

I would think I think that if you're gonna do like baby if you're gonna do like marriage and babies in society I guess you're supposed to do that in some place like Charleston because there still is enough of a thirst level there where a lot of people have moved there since the TV shows and all that. And so they at least have the likeability and by likeability, I mean likes, like Instagram likesability,

that they can be influencers and stuff there, I guess. I think Paige is gonna make that, like, like me, I'm a settler now. This is what wearing black is like in the South. And then she'll, like, that'll be her stick and she'll sell lots of stuff probably. I feel like she's gonna be, she would be miserable in Charleston,

but she'll have more room, which would be good. They'll have space, but I feel like she'll want to be in New York, but Craig has like a, he has like a real, he has like a store down there. So the end she can be remote. So I feel like they're gonna wind up going to Charleston ultimately. Well, New York is a place you can come and go.

And so she might be there for a little while, but I don't know. I don't think Craig and Paige are forever, do you? I think she's too smart, just too smart for Craig. Okay. I think so too. Yeah, I think that ultimately, she's not really gonna wanna ever leave New York

or the New York area, and I think that is going to be, I don't see Craig leaving Southern Charm. I think Craig's got his shit down there. He's like the king if Charleston at the moment and he's never He's not gonna go to Manhattan. So I say the countdown clock is on. I think this is gonna force an issue Yeah, cuz do you want the rest of your life like having to hang around chef and Austin? Yeah, exactly one nobody dreams of that. Okay, like people who wear straw bras as an outfit that. Okay. Like people who wear straw bras as an outfit are bold people. They are bold. They don't care about they can't be around guys who are wearing like man, using buttons

every time you're not Tommy Bahama women. You know what I mean? They're not. But Craig can't go to New York. His brand is literally sewing down south. He literally cannot move up to New York and maintain sewing down south you literally cannot move up to New York and maintain selling down south. Well he could if it's like a big national thing and all of that but the thing is people in New York aren't gonna have respect for you making square pillows and that's all you do. I mean you go to a party and you're like I have a pillow company and they're like well what kind and you just show them the same size square with different like clip art friends on them. I'm sorry it's not gonna work out.

It's a square pillow, but if you look closely, there's like a little crab drawing on there. People will literally put a pillow over your face until you stop talking about your square pillows in New York. Like, they're not gonna listen to this, I'm telling you. Okay, well, I was a good thought experiment. So, yeah, anyway, so they're trying to figure that shit out. So now we go to Lindsay at a restaurant and Amanda walks in, she's like,

Hi! Oh my god, Lindsay hiding behind the trees. How are you? Because Lindsay has like a big palm frond in her face. Well, a couple things here. First, Lindsay is first. Okay, so Lindsay is already in the desperation place, which Lindsay is not gonna like, okay? And then Amanda immediately dishing her seat choice. Okay, here we go.

Here we go. Wait, my, my trees. Come on, Lindsay. It's like, I'm hidden in plain sight. Ha ha ha ha. I just feel like there's like a long time coming, like just trying to eliminate all the outside chatter and family feuds. Like I'm sorry, we asked a hundred people and they said eliminate us so that way you guys can talk. Yeah, she's like, um, so do you want to drink?

Because I'm like, I waited to see if you want me to go sober for you for 30 minutes. I'd approve I'm a good person before we have this talk. So like, do you want wine or do you want something stronger? Because I feel like you know it's a long time coming this conversation and like trying to eliminate all the outside chatter. And the other reason I feel like I have an intention with you is because I haven't been able

to talk to you. And it was hard to talk to you because you were always cropped out of situations. Yeah, and the other reason why is, because I was like, should I talk to Amanda? And then probably be like, do you want to talk to Amanda? And then Carl would be like, do you wanna talk to Amanda tonight, or do you wanna kind of like lie on the couch?

And I'd be like, what do you wanna do? And he'd be like, what do you wanna do? And I'd be like, what do you wanna do? And he'd be like, my day wants to do on the couch, I'd be like, hmm, well I don't know why I'd go to a restaurant without Carl at this point. So I'd just like stay on the couch and like, not talk to Amanda.

Yeah, and Amanda's like, well, I've been around. And Lindsay says, well, I know through the years, we've had a very interesting relationship. And now we've got your husband and my boyfriend and their relationship. And I thought we were getting a lot closer, but then all of a sudden in the spring, it was like two soon, Carl.

And we're moving to Fast Carl, or Carl is tainted by Lindsay. I just felt like whiplash with these things that you said that were like very hurtful to me. Like I don't know where it came from. And I'm in, it's like I understand that. And like when we were texting, I should have apologized from a behavior and some of the things I said. And like I was getting frustrated because Carl's opinion was changing from things We had talked about over the summer and like I felt frustrated by that in the moment, but like in retrospect Like he should have he should be supportive of you and like taking your side and making sure your walkers all cleaned up You know yeah, but you feel like I take it in and she's like um Tainted was probably the wrong

word Kyle. And like I did try to pull you aside right after, but like I grabbed your arm, but then you wouldn't turn around and acknowledge me. Like, I mean, that made me go into a hole. And then like, I was like, I guess I'll just wait until she's ready. C'mon! Yeah, I would say that tainted as the wrong word. Maybe kind of like ruined from the inside out. Is it better phrase to use? I don't know. Destroyed? Destroyed?

Innered? How about decay? Like, sad cave of a man, you know? So Lindsay starts like doing her Lindsay cry, which is hilarious, because she can just put it right on. And she's like, I don't think you understand. I said, look at William! Because he was wrong, and I was wrong. I'm human.

I love feelings. And I can only handle I am healing. I love it feelings. I'm not gonna let it go bad, man. I never said I was the best mother in the world, but give you the credit for drawing. You're just doing soap dish. Listen, you take so many things I say with such anger and malice when they were only intended to be passive-aggressive and lightly hurtful, okay? So like you know me and Kyle, like, I didn't want to move in with Kyle until I was engaged, which is funny

because I moved in many years before then. And I don't judge people, you know, that wanna do it that way. I just was shocked. I just thought like, your only problem was that you were slutty. I didn't realize that you were needy too, you know? I mean, I know I really don't seem like this kind of person,

but I was like, do I want to be friends with somebody that I know is just gonna go to hell on the end? Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. You know, when they say going to hell on a hand basket, like, I like my hand basket, I kind of don't want to go to hell. And so I guess this is they're making up.

So Amanda's like, I want to be friends, and we should work both in couples now and this should be our summer. It should be like couple summer. And we should, you know, like finally me and Kyle get to be the number one couple in the house. And Lindsay's like, ah! So Lindsay's like, well I'm sorry, it took so long.

I think we're both waiting for the other one about that. And Amanda's like, I don't know what's real and what's not, because Lindsay's tears are instigant. Yeah. No, it's okay, Lins. I knew why I was taking you so long. You're not comfortable with cell phones and technology. I know, I seem to remember overhearing you say,

whatever happened to rotary phones like the good old days, you know, it's hard. So then we go to Dan, Danielle, and Robert driving. Oh my God, Robert looks like, I've already called somebody an undertaker this month. So I'm trying to think of like, he looks like Dave from Garfield a little bit. I think he looks like somebody in those old Western shots who get taken at the mall, like where they put you and outfit and stuff, and they're like, do not smile. They're like, whatever happens.

Yeah, do not smile in this picture. He looks like it's like someone holding a gun to the back of his head, like, do not look happy. And also, please drain all the blood out of your face. That would be great. Yeah. Well, as people may or may not know, Danielle and Robert broke up after the season was over.

And so now we have that glorious Bravo trope of watching a relationship implode on camera before it realizes it's even imploding like that. So yeah, they're driving together. And Danielle is like, is this car moving slow because of all the stuff we have in here? And he's just like, I'm a fucking girlfriend making me go to this fucking house when I want to just want to lay on my fucking couch today.

This fucking thing. Yeah, yeah, you have an absurd amount of decorations. I'm so thrilled. So thrilled to be doing this today. So thrilled. And he's like, yeah, here I am coming on my day off because I already worked six hours today, which I like. I mean, I like it.

She goes, yeah, you just like to complain. And so she tells us getting him to come was not easy, but maybe it could have just been her and Robert time, but he really needs to be with everybody in drinking party because he never gets a chance to party. And I would love more time, but truck, I don't get that. So she's like, yeah, and I hate to say it, but you're my party trick. I pulled Carl to be your sous chef today.

Like I'm so excited for you to be around Carl on Lindsey. How was this a relaxation trip for him if you're making him cook a 20-course meal for all your friends? I know, he's cooked so much food that all looks amazing. But this is Day off, and I know that he, you know, if it's his passion, he would love to cook no matter what. But honestly, I guarantee he just wants to lie on his sofa.

He just wants to lie on his sofa and watch TV. Maybe he's looking at us the way to promo his business, you know, because that's like his thing. But Danielle is talking about house been weird with them and it's super weird with Lindsay and Carl because they're in that honeymoon fairy tale. You should be in that honeymoon fairy tale too. You're acting like you've been with somebody for 10 years. Yeah, I mean, she's literally married or like she's with a guy who can make delicious food

and they live in beautiful Montauk. And she's like, yeah, we're out of our honeymoon phase. I was like, damn, things must be really bad. Cause it's like, yeah, literally where you go on your honeymoon might be like Montauk. Yes. Come on shoes. Here comes one right now. If you're hiring, you know what it's like

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I'm going to say something scandalous, Ronnie. Go on. Plants are meat. And not only are they meat, they're delicious, especially if they're from impossible foods. They taste like beef. Exactly. Impossible is making meat history this summer.

Yeah, they are. Summer of impossible. I am so excited to be spending time, cooking my summer foods, all that good stuff, and guess what, we can use impossible sausages, impossible brats. I mean, it's gonna be a great summer for impossible foods. Impossible beef is made from plants

and 19 grams of protein per serving, and it's better for the planet. And it's meat. Plant meat. Correct. So if you're looking for something to grab for the planet. And it's meat. Plant meat. Correct. So if you're looking for something to grab for your grill, grab some impossible beef. Summer of impossible.

Start making meat history today. Just head over to the meat aisle at your local grocery store, grab some impossible beef, or patties, and get grilling. So to me, he goes, oh, so ours is not exciting. That's what you're saying. Gotcha. He looks really bored and dickish to me, he looked, he goes, oh, so ours is not exciting. That's what you're saying. Gotcha. He looks really bored and dickish to me. He looks over it. Like, over it.

I mean, they are definitely in that phase. Like, she is being passive, aggressive to him. He is being withdrawn to her. And yeah, they're a disaster now. Yeah. So then we go to the house, everybody's arriving at the house. The guy and everyone's saying oh my god It looks so cute. Oh my god. You look so cute. Oh my god. You do too.

I call a Lindsay arrived like BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM Hey babe. Oh The teleride has made us get here. We are here in the teleride. Yeah, he had teleride. Yeah, hey babe We're here. Yeah, can't wait to see the chef. So then Robert says that he's telling Chris he's gonna make an a little day. I wish you lay. And of course Chris is like a little day. He's like, yeah, yeah, no, my my accent's not very good. I'm sorry. He's like, yeah, I can see by the look in your eyes, you're sort of in love with me. He's like, no, I'm not really just

telling you what I'm making for dinner for Chris. He's like, I'm wider than a piece of paper. Please don't make fun of my culture. Chris is like, okay. So, Karol's like, yo, Roberto, my man. Welcome back brother. That was like, Hispanic for my man. My man. Welcome back brother babe.

Yo, welcome back. Bames, I can't get off the stairs with my bag. Oh Welcome back brother babe. Yeah, welcome back I can't get up the stairs with my bag of memes Robert what's up Robert babe some second the stairs You look at how can you are here so tight I just sprayed so Daniel Daniel is setting up outside and Lindsay comes to check with her and Page is trying to sneeze, but can't do it and I don't know, it's just a lot of coming in and like, hi, hi. Hey, how are you? And Sam's like, I'm fresh.

That's good. I'm pretty fresh too. Yeah. Let's have a weekend. I love it. I'm totally gonna have a weekend. Hey, yeah. Anyway, Brits and You All, I'm gonna go sleep now.

But it's fine. I wrote five solid minutes of woos and highs. Okay, show like we get it. We get it. So Gabby is like, where can it be? Roommie's sound. And because Dan Yellen dropper sleeping in the same room tonight. So then Kyle is getting ready with Amanda.

And he's like, I'm trying to get a blonde and reeky, a glessiest vibes. I'm just not going to talk to my my shirt in when you think of that. It's like, don't be the weird old man at the club, Kyle. He's like, hey girls, let him make a tick-tock. And then Carl's helping out, Robert. He's like, wow, Robert, you're like a mad man. You're like someone who does Barry's bootcamp at 11 a.m.

That's like crazy, wow. And he's like, whoa, what's this smell? This is a little stinky. Oh, I didn't know what the radish should smell about. That's like, that's like crazy. It just radishes smell like like, like, like, like, since when to radish the smell like that, like, they'll take up, sir, what a crazy, what a crazy time we're having just this bro. So, so Amanda goes up to Patience here and they're like, oh my god, you look so good. Oh my god, you look so good. Oh my god No way you look so good. And I've had you just like we were just wondering how you're lunch with Lindsay went because what else would we do?

It's a very start of the weekend, but talk shit How did it go and she's like, oh, well, there was I didn't know how it was gonna go, but we did go and then she got emotional She got emotional. What did you tell her that diagnosis murder was coming back onto TV? Like why was she crying? Did you tell her about all of the things that she's done to you and did that in her Abescal and man is like because she's like very hurt by things that I've like said and done in the past So I just apologize and said the summer we should have the best summer I'm like you're the number two couple now.

And I mean, there just shouldn't be so much tension, you know? And Paige, because yeah, I mean, I don't know what Lindsay's man, but I will have time to catch you up later. So just enjoy your last couple of miles being a positive person, walk around the pool a couple of times. Now, excuse me, I'm gonna work on getting this knees out of my nose. Huh?

Damn it, I hate what that happens. She does have the least excitable almost knees. Because most people are like, Oh no, it's not coming. Ah, I'm still not there. Pages literally just like, Yeah, it's sort of like expecting a 75% off Sarah's sale. It's just not really gonna happen.

You only get up to maybe like 40%. You know what I'm saying? So Amanda's like, yeah, I just came to the realization that we're just gonna be friends and we're never gonna have like that relationship. She has with Dad Y'all and then it just cuts to Lindsay just down and get drained because fast as she can. So Carl and his white pants.

Yeah, yeah, it's clearly gonna time to get ready for it. drink as fast as she can. So Carl and his white pants. Yeah, yeah, it's clearly going to be time to get ready for dinner. The theme for tonight's dinner is, oh, toloom, which is the theme of all bravo lately. So everyone took a little shots except for me, what are all. And Paige is like, this is two weekends in a row that I'm sexually attracted to Kyle. Is this what turning dirty is? Just your standard, just plummet, all of a sudden. Now I have to say, if Robert's personality

was amazing as his food looks, he would, everybody would want to date Robert. Okay. His food looks so good. It looks great. You know, it's great. You're thinking about it right now. Looks great Paul the way I hold.

But Robert's never really, he's never really leapt off the page full of personality. I feel like there was a period of time where we're all trying to make Robert work, like make Robert a thing. We're like, oh my God, it's Robert. He's like, he's someone who likes Danielle very quietly and shows up, you know.

We're like, yay, Robert, but I feel like honestly, I never quite was sold on Robert. I was like, well, he seems nice I feel like honestly, I never quite was sold on Robert. I was like, well, he seems nice. I feel like I could never have a conversation with him ever, but he seems nice. And now that he's actually revealing himself to be like, kind of a dick, I'm like, well, there's not a lot of upside left except for that food,

which is not nothing. I might need a, my fish went down into, what is he doing? My fish went down into the tube where the air bubbles come out. Okay, he made it out. What are you doing? That was scary. They're dying. Scaring me.

Hey, folks. I turned the bubbles off. I turned the bubbles off to record. So I guess he was like, oh, I can go in here now. I'm going to look what this is like. And so he just went down in there and he was just like curled up in it And I thought maybe he was dead or something, but then I tapped and he came wagging out like the little doggy He is okay the point is this is work. So sorry everybody. I was worried for baby gorgeous You're right there. I was almost in emergency. Yeah, it's scary. It's scary fish emergency

Hey fish, but you're put your way down there. Oh, you're way down me. Hey fish. You got a guy. I'm gonna bury you I'm gonna bury you. Okay. Don't scare me like that again. Okay, but yeah, Robert is She's that friend who just doesn't really ever date because on this show I mean she's hooked up with Carla a couple times, right? Where they've talked about how they've hooked up. Because yeah, like, we're wild. Like, we'll go out and be like, wild. But like, we're like not together. We're just like, wild. Yeah. But then that's really all we've heard about her dating, right?

She's never really hit it off with anybody, and this is a show about fucking. And so it's like your friend who doesn't really ever get some. It's like, it's like me, band. If I ever showed up with the guy, I could show up with a serial killer, you know, with no job and Louis Goosman, you know, face or whatever. And my friends would be like, oh my God, congratulations. Look, we've all, we, Robert is that boyfriend, that your friend brings along,

and you just try to be enthusiastic for because you're just, you're happy for your friend, and you don't want to yuck on their yum. But we've all been there, where we're like, we spend a lot of time and energy convincing ourselves that they're great, and we just have to get to know them more. And like, they're just quiet, but they're uncomfortable,

but like, he treats you so well. And then after like a year and a half, you're like, you know what, I feel like I'm really turning a corner with this person, but you really haven't at all. But you just tell yourself that because if you don't tell yourself that, you feel like a shitty human because you're not supporting your friend.

But eventually you get to a place we realize, yeah, that person just sucks. They just sucks, sorry. And then when they finally break up, you feel like a shitty human because you're not supporting your friend. But eventually you get to a place where you realize, yeah, that person just sucks. They just sucks, sorry. And then when they finally break up, you're like, oh my god, I never liked him. You're like, oh, fuck you. And then they get back together again and it's awkward. Yeah, I'm never gonna speak to you again. I'm just gonna say, I had a friend who was married to a baker and he was nice. He was nice.

He didn't talk. Didn't talk. And it was for years and it was great baker, made amazing cakes. But I had to pretend like, oh, I really connect with this person and I just didn't. And it was just painful, so painful. And then when they finally got divorced, I was like,

oh, thank God, I can't do it anymore. I can't pretend like I see a sparkling personality here. Just happens. Yeah, meh, that happens. So now they're taking root shots. And Paige is like, this is, oh yeah, she's actually attracted to Kyle, sorry. So they start applauding the food,

because it does look great. And Danielle's like, oh my God attracted to Kyle. Sorry. So they start applauding the food because it does look great and Daniel's like, oh my god You're the best and Lindsay is like, um, what did you hear about this group Roger? And he's like, uh Robert actually, but uh, all I really heard is that The new class is way better than the old class. So that was pretty funny. I'm saying. Oh Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, fun, Lindsay, fun, Lindsay, who are we talking about? All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right,

all right, all right, all right, all right, all right. She's so easy to spin her out. Yeah. Hey, I have got a question for the elders at the table. Since we have like three old people couples at the table that all live together in their own private nursing homes, what's one thing when you moved in together? Everything I hate everything.

I hate everything about Kyle. That's my answer. Okay, well, all right Amanda. But like what's something that like you didn't anticipate and now you're like, oh, that's something I deal with now. Like if you want to say adult diapers, that's totally on the table. Amanda's like, why are you asking? She's because I've never lived with a boyfriend

and there's stuff that you anticipate and then stuff you had no idea about and basically I'm trying to talk about Craig. So, whoever old person is gonna speak, please make it quick, okay? So Robert's like, well see, this is why you're happy because you're living by yourself. I mean, the matter of stuff that this one has,

I mean, just everywhere. Where does she get all these chachies? I guess it's from missing the train all that time. You can just kill the time, go into the gift shop and buy a little, little trinkets to clutter up my house. Okay, I'll be quiet now. How many key chains do you need that savoron concoma? You know what I mean? So Daniel's like, yeah, he has like a minimalist, a minimalist, he has a

metalist vibe, like he really loves that Simon guy. He really loves a detective in a vest. So. And I like a charge skier too. And Paige goes, oh, I'm a minimalist. I'll throw away my brisha tiffy, if I feel it's cluttering. I'm a little bit throw away my boyfriend. And she's like, yeah, like Craig and I

have talked about moving in, but I'm just like, not ready to have like either a grown man child in my space or me down in a man child town. So I don't really know what to do. Yeah, and Carl's like, oh, wait, wait, wait, we've parted in front of each other yesterday. Now she's, no, why don't do that? You know what I'm saying? It's like, okay, so since you and Carl oh wait, wait, wait, wait. We farted in front of each other yesterday. Now she's, no, why don't do that? You're serious, like, okay, so since you and Carl moved in,

Lindsay, what pisses you off? It's just, um, every single time Carl's hour is on, there's a new towel. We need to first towel every a dime. I'm a new towel girl too. Oh, okay, well, I'm like, why are there like so many towels and so few sandwiches, like that towel that I'm resameter there like so many cows and so few sandwiches like that towel Don't risk how much ratio is gonna believe the off

Hmm I'm paid just like yeah What's the person's the other person's most annoying habit the man is like breathing And Kyle goes if she had her way I wouldn't even chew my food. Oh my god I hate listening to him chew his food. That's why I only make guacamole, because it's soft. It's slurpable. God, I hate listening to people chew too. That's my worst thing.

I remember so many tense moments growing up where we would just be arguing and my mom was like, this is family night. So we would like sit there and be quiet and no TV's allowed. And there weren't like air pods. So it's like, you know, Alexa's or whatever, so no one's like playing music. And we couldn't use the record player,

that would have been too hard. So, anyway, silent, and my mom has this kind of jaw thing where it goes, oh, like TMJ. Like it. Yeah, she has that. And I just remember being like, oh my God. And then of course, I eat like a vacuum cleaner.

So I sound like, shooooop! My ninth grade geometry teacher always seem to have an apple. So like anytime you ask a question, you always come over holding up an apple very close to her cheek. And she'd always have just taken a bite out of it. And as you see the apple in the side of her cheek and as you talk, you're like, oh,

I'm going to be like, well, man, you got to check the proof. You're missing the theorem there, whatever. And it's always a constant like apple crunching geometry lesson, you know? That's actually abuse and that's disgusting and she should have been fired. It was like she just always had that apple, you know? Like, and it was always, you know, like, there's some people when they eat an apple, they take a bite out of it, and they eat it like a normal person.

But there's some people when they eat an apple, it's like they become half squirrel, and that giant apple shell just sits in the side of their cheek for like, you know, five minutes while they talk, and then eventually they decide this time to start like digesting it. Yeah, that's really, really bad.

Because also when you talk with food in your mouth, you're spitting the food all over the person and it's terrible. So, um, Well, sometimes I'm gonna use the apple itself. The sometimes I use the apple, like they'll be like, oh, I'm talking with food in my mouth, so I'm gonna cover my mouth,

but they cover it with the apple. So it's just like a real deeply apple bitten forward experience. Yeah, gross. Gross. So then a mad is saying that he is annoyed the most about. He's like, Robert, Robert's like waking up every morning. Get the fuck out of here, Robert. Like, thanks for the nice little day and the very delicately cut radishes, but you can

go fuck yourself. Let's smell a little bit, by the way. Do you ever know that very delicately cut radishes, but you can go fuck yourself. How about that? That's a little bit, by the way. Do you ever know that there's no stinky radishes or stinky? Yeah, that was so mean. And then, and then he tries to kiss Danielle and she's like, um, that's not going to work. And so then, um, Chris is like, Hey guys, I'm here. Hey, what's the biggest dramatic moment that you've worked through? And I mean, it's like the size of his penis.

Ha! There were literally multiple people in a hot tub from what I remember, but okay, you remember how you remember, okay? So, cuz I was like, dude, my dick is so dope. And I'm like, he's not lying. I finished before him most of the time. Who is this, Amanda? Where did she come from? I don't know.

I don't know who she is. So Danielle's like, well, bothers me is work stuff. And Rob goes, yeah, work. She says, yeah, well, the time spent at work. Like we don't have a lot of hours in between. His job is like, what is it? 80 hours a week?

He's like, sometimes more. And she's like, yeah, so I work remotely. So I make our home wherever, everywhere he goes. He's like, yeah, and she's been very good at it. Kinda can't get any breathing room for myself is what I'm trying to say. Just how he words it, he goes, yeah, and that's what she's been very, very good at.

Oh, really, Robert, has she? Is she good at putting up a tent? Fuck off, weirdo. He's so passive-aggressive. He's just like, he's just seething rage right now. Like I feel like he's now, he must have, he must have gotten a promotion at work because now he's acting like every chef I imagine acts, you know, like now I'm like, oh you're ready for top chef now. Yeah, so Lent, he's like, where is Del right to figure it out? Did you figure out

Craig in the page? Because I could tell by the way you started the conversation. You just wanted to talk about Kreg. Thank you for being the old person that I might hate, but also knows what a woman is trying to get at when she starts, okay? I mean, my God. How long is it going to take me to get this out? Yeah, I just, I feel bad because he's like,

Kreg's not here to answer. So let me pretend like I don't want to talk behind his back. Okay, but you're like in a relationship. So like, I don't know I can get away from this. She's like, I didn't ask the question. Okay, finally, I'll answer it. Well, since Lindsay got very triggered by the question, I will answer mine. Okay, so mine is definitely like a long distance issue.

And like that is what we're like trying to work through. And no, thank you Lindsay. I do not need a Werther's original. Thank you very much. I can get through this myself. So then Gabby is like, okay, well, I've got a question. What is the appropriate time to invest in something together? And Amanda and Kyle basically say that they only still

in money that they share is the money they receive from their wedding. Yeah, that's crazy. And also good job, Amanda's parents. Good job, because you know that is them. So then Rob is like, yeah, we have just like an account where we put the rent or bills or stuff we pay together. And Chris, like, who else will we do? That's what we do, everybody. It's like, yeah, car groceries.

Gabby wouldn't have to know, wouldn't know about buying groceries, right? She knows about joint bank accounts though. Gabby's like, yeah, like I can't relate to this because like I have all my parents' cards on log. Yeah, that was trying to shame you and make you like get embarrassed, but you're kind of like proud of it. So we want to get it again from the top. I loved it.

I loved it. Good for Gabby being like, yep, that's right. Beyond. So Daniel's like, okay, love these non-fight starting questions. Let's go to a club. And Robert is just like hating life right next to her. He's like, oh God, I'm ending it this weekend.

So not his life, I meant the relationship. So then now they're dancing in the backyard, having a great time, because they're wild and wacky, and they're having the summer of their lives sort of. And then Gabby is talking to Danielle, and she's saying that she doesn't really know where she stands with Sierra,

because basically Sierra and her don't talk, and Sierra rolls her eyes out at all the time. So Danielle's like, I am literally the worst person to talk to about this, because I have felt the same way. I've always wanted to be Sierra's friend. One time I was like, let's be friends here. Let's have a blood pack together.

I'll throw a wine glass at you and we can just use that blood. You know what I'm saying? Mm-hmm. And she's like, yeah, but there was just such a divide in the other houses that never got to it. And Gabby's like, yeah, I'm really really struggling to connect because there's like so much underlying touch on. And then we see

the clip of Gabby saying, I had a date with the tourist guy and I cannot. And um, I'm saying, open your door girl. And she's like, yeah, but do you guys not think I have stable energy and see her saying, now that you mention it, no. And that's crazy because my closest friends are Taurus's. Wow, you've offended a Taurus love. You're a Taurus outlier. Look at you. Hi, I'm Michael Patrick King, host of the official Max Companion podcast, and just like that, the writers room. Each episode members of the writers room and I unpacked moments from season 2, sharing

juicy details you can only hear from us. Stream and just like that season 2 is starting June 22nd on Max, and listen to end just like that, the writers room on Max or wherever you get your podcasts. So now they go to the club and there's like dancing. They got this club called Ultra where there's literally no line. It's lame, lame people, lame people on Bravo going to stupid clubs. And they're dancing. Well it's just one of the first times that we've ever seen them

where they've actually had a real camera in a club and not a phone cam. So I think this is like a pre-planned new club. It was like, please come to our club. They're like, we don't have any lines. You can bring your cameras in. So, um, yes, they're dancing. Kyle's like, ladies, let's get inside and get our steps in. I love that Kyle is really in the throes of some sort of body. Just more fear this season. He's like, binging.

He's like, I think clearly doing keto during the week, but then like, binging late at night on the weekends, hyper focused on his steps, et cetera. It's fun. Do you just met Kyle? This is Kyle every, this is what Kyle does. He's like, perfect little boy on the weekdays,

then he comes here and he's like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, He's like, he always benches on stuff on the weekends, but like now he seems to be really concerned that he's like turning 40 and getting like a, like a, like a pot belly and all that stuff. So he's kind of spiraling in a different way now. Well, he grew an actual molet. So I think that's a pretty good indicator. So let's see, Kyle's already wasted, of course, and Carl and Lindsay are

making out in the back of the car. Oh, ultra. Okay, I'm a little behind you. So let me fast forward. Okay, so then they get home, because this is summer house. That's how their clubs go. Their club nights. Well, we should call anymore. Everybody's cool. It's going to be. We should also mention when they were at their club, everyone was like dancing together and partying and having fun and they're all like squealing and then Lindsay and Carl We're just like again off in the corner and Lindsay like mounts Carl and it's like oh, yeah big daddy Well so awkward you guys. I don't know who what you're trying to do But you just this looks like the fake shit when you do stuff like that It looks just completely fake and weird.

Gross, I don't wanna see it. And I like Lindsay and Carl, but this, no, no. This one situation is like a radish. It just sort of thinks, you know what I'm saying? I'm hoping this whole situation is gonna just be kind of a scant of all type thing where we get to watch them go through the breakup next year because I can't take much more of this.

Just think it right now. I'm just thinking right now, I'm hoping this is a big setup for a breakup storyline because this is gross. Yeah, I kind of am with you. So they're back dancing in the kitchen, everything, and of course, Lindsay and Carl go to bed. And then Robert is just like, he's like, Daniel heads upstairs, which is funny

because Daniel has spent a lot of energy complaining about Carl and Lindsay being lame and separating from the pack, but now she wants to go upstairs and Robert's like, no, come on party. And she's like, I don't want to, have fun. So she goes up there, they're all partying and she's now texting, she's been doing a full Lindsay. She's like, come to bed.

Come to bed now, come to bed. And he's willfully calling a scosseie, a stossie and bow. Remember? Oh, yeah. God, that was a good one. He's just ignored it, which is not great. But Robert really is letting loose. He's just like standing in the middle of the kitchen,

wasted yelling, woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! He's just prolonging the amount of time

he can spend away from his girlfriend. That's what he's doing. And so, Paige and Amanda and Sierra, come home. Yeah, we showed those kids what we're about. So, Kross, it's already one bad. It's been a long day, babe. It's been a long day. And now it's 2.56 in the morning.

And Robert finally crawls in bed and kisses Danielle and she's like, I'm good I'm good Yeah, and then the bed breaks which I mean if you're sleeping on a metaphor for your relationship, that's not a very good sign So it's the morning. It's 9 a.m. We they don't even bother showing us going showing us Carl going out for his run or his bar is bootcamp anymore It's just 9 a.m Robert over sleeps showing us Carl going out for his run or his Barry's bootcamp anymore. It's just 9 a.m. Robert oversleeps because he was drunk, so he's all flustered. And Danielle is like, yeah, I'm so happy Robert came. I mean, not happy we spent all 10 minutes together, but this is my reality. He's a chef, but I'm so glad he had a good time.

I mean, would have liked to have more time with him and just, you know, they really don't give you a pamphlet on how to date a chef.. And the producers like, I think the pamphlet would just say, don't, don't be the patient. So then Robert leaves and now they have to get ready again, because it's another day to get on a bus, right? They have to get on the bus at 11.45. And I'm at it's like Kyle Hurry up. It's like a dark out here.

I can't do my makeup in the room. He's like, you can't rush the poop. Just you can't rush makeup either. So the same old stuff basically for them. And then they are, they're, yeah, they're Pagency are lying in their beds and page is like, I'm too old for this. Or I'm like, let me rephrase that. I'm too Lindsey for this. I mean, Sierra was like, no, you're not. Carl's 40. Oh yeah, you're right. We're so young and cute.

Thanks, Sierra. Oh my god, Carl and Lindsey having sex at the club. That was disgusting. Like, seriously gross. And Sierra was like, yeah, I was like, listen, I'm all into like, PDA, but like, there's poundaries, you know? If I wanted to watch Cocoon I would have rented it okay. It was like right before everybody in awakenings

went back to sleep. It was like batteries not included. How about more like blindfolds were not included cause I had to see that shit. So Chris is doing some yoga and Kyle's like you gonna do some push ups or flap around like a butterfly little guy? And Chris is like, I think I'm actually just gonna flap around like a butterfly surprisingly.

So then Carl comes as like, hey, what's up, soft cocks, yeah. Classic curls back. Gentleman? Hey gentleman, good morning. It was fun. So cookie, what do you think about Ferdinand? Or like dinner was great, right? Do you like a cookie?

Ha, ha, ha, classic Carl. And guys like this weekend, you know, it's like guys weekend five and like, it's kind of fly by and you know, it's like, it didn't out like with another bro last like, we're outnumbered, all right? We had one more bro yesterday, but like, he was all into like corn mixing. Like, we're outnumber it. And I was like, oh, I feel like we need like a proper initiation for crowds. Cool, he's a soft echo.

You heard it, you heard it, man. Yeah. And then I was like, I mean, this guy was in the army. And Chris was like, Marines, please say that again, I'll throw you in the pool. Whoa.

Seems like it's sort of hard, hard to take after all. Oh, gentlemen. And it's this point in the episode where I just have to say this to Summer House, you're boring me, okay? And from looking around on the internet, you're boring anybody. It's on the point where I'm about to say fuck you, we're putting top stuff in your slate, okay? Like what are you guys doing?

This sucks, do something. And now I'm only pointing it out at this point in the show. I like to keep it positive usually, out at this point in the show. I like to keep it positive usually but at this point in the show, Trixi Monacole comes on with the song because... this show is killing me okay I want the roller coaster to run me over. Yeah you know I was actually I was enjoying it actually good amount earlier in the season because I felt like actually the Kyle and Carl conflict was really fascinating, and I liked that.

I do think this whole thing with Lindsay and Carl and their adulting is, it's cringe-worthy, but I think they did a bad job with casting. I don't think it's good that there's only three guys in the house. Basically Chris is a dud. Carl is going to sleep early. It's just Kyle. And then you just have the rest of the girls who are just sort of, you know, like they don't really have anything to do. So they just sort of surround sort of lightly gossip about Lindsay.

There's like, there's no real antagonists going on here. It's just sort of, we're just, it sucks. It sucks. It's straight up sucks. Okay, change it. This show is about friends who go to the Hamptons together. That's it. I don't know who all these people are, how they know each other.

It's not like you find some, there's a couple new people I get every year. Find a core group like you had that's just not all married and coupled off. I don't know why the fuck you thought anybody would want to sit through couples like couples in the four years. Bravo. There's some development person there. I'm just going to blame this on one person. Don't know who it is, but I'm going to say there's someone there who loves weddings and they're the ones who advocate for wedding specials and they're the ones who advocate for wedding specials, and they're the ones who advocate for wedding episodes and for wedding storylines, and they love couples, and they're like, this is what America wants to see,

because it's a journey, you know, they were single and now they're together. No, no, the adulting thing doesn't work out. It literally almost destroyed Vanderpump rules. Vanderpump rules barely made it back, and then thank God it's been great. But like, summer house, I don't think summer house has the depth of a roster to survive an adult period

and they gotta fix it. Yeah. All right, so let's go to the party bus because today it's a winery trip. So Paige gets on the party bus and she's like, it literally smells like cocaine and cigarettes So they go to attain me a tasting room and Kyle pulls the every dad line Hey, you one maker. I'm the wine drinker

Yeah, so they're making these wines It's a wine maker blending experience where they drink components and they make their own wine, etc And they're just like doing this and they're just like silly and so Kyle is like hey everyone All right, so like what was the easiest orgasm you ever had? We're at that point where nothing's really we have no like natural banter So we just have to keep asking questions like this to make sure something pops So you know, I'll start one time I was dry-humping in high school, and my mom and my girlfriend, I was like, oh my god! And that was the best orgasm I've had.

And I just want you to know, I recreated that scene about 15 minutes ago over with that grapevine over there. So just be careful with what you touch. And Sam's like, one time a guy spitting my mouth, and it was like, so hot. And he goes, God, Jesus Christ, Sam God. Just, I have like a big personality

and like not exactly pumbled by anyone, but like if Calcook is shook by me, I'm doing something right. Oh, Sarah's like, yeah, I'm gonna go play Cornhole for real. Oh, so, you know, I hate Cornhole. Or as I like to call it, walking around picking up bean bags. Yeah. Well, you shouldn't be having to walk. They should be throwing them to your side. Okay. I don't think we've ever really just we've never really gotten to it. They should. They should never really gotten to a good meeting place on this. They should

be doing that. They should all be piled down there, thwamping onto that board, but guess what? People don't know how to throw bean bags myself included. So it's the game of walking around bean bags from the grass and throwing it around to someone else that then they have to walk around and pick it up. So, Gabi doesn't like her hair, but she's assured it's not that bad, so she lost you hard.

And then we go to Sierra and Chris on one side in a mountain, on the other and Sierra's like Yeah, like she's a participation trophy kind of a girl and Chris is like what are you guys hustling us? Yeah, will you hustlers? Yeah, you like that you're gonna hustle us. Yeah, what do you guys tell us you feel good? That's so sexy Stop stop Chris. Can we just like can we like slash his tires? Keep him in Manhattan, please? So then we go to Carl and Kyle like we're friends they got now. Hey, let's try this grape Let's try let's pick a grape off the vine which you're not really supposed to ever do in one or a bottle

I call let's drink it and and Kyle's like hey little grape you're when you grew up You're gonna be alcohol. No offense Carl so they eat it and the grapes bitter This is where we're at with the show, okay? This is where we're at, okay. We're talking about, this is what we got to talk about. So then Sierra sees horses, so she goes to play with horses. She wants to go play with horses and Chris is like, do you know how to ride a horse?

And she's like, yes and yes. And this is how bad it is. Sierra's actually considering it at this point. Even though she knows he's just the lamest fucking guy, she's like, okay, well, I have to do something. No one's doing shit this year. And normally I slide by just fine with that, but it's not gonna happen this year, right?

So Danielle sees it and she's like, oh my God, it looks like Seara's breaking. I'm gonna go save her. Yeah, Chris is like, so since you're a nurse, I've always wondered like, when you have patients, like even if it's like someone hot, you never like see them this way, cause it's like work, she's like,

yeah, no, I don't do that. She's kind of like working in a hospital is not like, like the porno's, okay? Yeah, it's like, it's not a romantic environment, okay? So, yeah, but let's pretend it's a different world where like you could do that. She's like, yeah, it's like, it's not a romantic environment, okay? So, yeah, but let's pretend it's a different world. We're like, you could do that. She's like, yeah, no, I don't work in a hospital on a different world, you fucking loser.

And Danielle comes over to save her and they just walk away from him. Yeah. So then Amanda is really laying on this mainland to your friend's now, Stick, by taking pictures for her and Carl. She's like, okay, you guys kiss. Okay, I've got lots of angles.

Okay, on the count of three, say, Bowers Bootcamp. Okay, I was gonna go something else, but for sure. Okay, on the count of three, say, oops, I grabbed my pants, oh wait, no, no. On the count of three, say, I fall in and I can't get up. On the count of three, say, Polly, Dan. So Chris is talking to Daniel now.

And oh no, sorry, Zira is talking to Daniel about Chris. And Daniel's like, so how was it talking to Chris? And she's like, he's just trying to set up my personality. Like, he's not the warmest, but I mean, I catch fives. I like to see how people are in a room. Yeah, and then she started, then they started talking about Gabby and Sierra was like, yeah, it's kind of crazy to me that like, like me and Sam are on the same page,

but for some reason, I just, I feel so much older than her, you know, and they're basically saying that she's just doesn't connect with the new girls, more or less. And Danielle's like, yeah, I noticed that like when Gabby talks, you're always rolling your eyes. But to be fair, I think that Sierra's rolling her eyes when anyone talks. Is that just me? Yeah, that's how Sierra is. So then we cut to Gabby being like, honestly, one of the best gifts someone could give me is like naming a star after me. And then it comes back to Sierra and she goes, yeah, I think she's like a little surface level with me. So it's really hard to tap into it with her. Like, it's hard for me to have

artificial friendships. It's hard for me to fake it. Which is why this show needs to stop being just cast randos every year, you know? They have to have friendships. Or like have a ton of people. Because the very first season of Summer House, there was a shit ton of people in it and it was great. There was all sorts of stuff going on. I just feel like there's not enough people in here that are... I kind of feel like all the couples are one person in a weird way. So that really reduces the number of people in this house and I just think that there's

not... There's just no... There's no alchemy, alchemy's good journal. But there is no alchemy happening right now because page is super funny. I still love page. I think she's really funny, but she doesn't have a lot to work with, okay? Sierra is kind of like, you know, Sierra, she's sort of not doing much. Maya is super dry, love Maya, but she's dry. She's not doing much. Maya is super dry, love Maya, but she's dry. She's not doing anything.

Sam and Gabby, they're just trying to do trying to try to they're trying to try to they're trying to win individual people that are bad. It's that they're trying to shove couples in with single partying and it just doesn't work. Like this whole show is about parting while you're single and hooking up and then fighting drunkenly. But if after people aren't drinking or willing to fight with each other or communicate at all, it can't work. You can't just bring in a whole bunch of newbies like as chorus people to dance around the three leads cover the couple doing nothing.

You know what I mean? No, I think that they need a bunch of young 20-year-olds who do just want a party and some of the pool and hook up and be wild. And I think that they kind of shied away from that this season. I don't know why I did. Maybe a cast member fall out in the last second.

I don't know. The vibe is not right. So now the girls are gonna have a night. So the boys are gonna have a night. Okay, so Kyle just stays on the party best wasted eating that. Which, you know, there's Kyle. So Kyle just tastes on the party best wasted eating that's which you know, this kind of so now they're getting ready again. This is the third time they've gotten ready in this one. It's a third. It's a third, five minute segment of people getting ready. We see

Chris playing trying to get on a floaty in the pool. And now it's finally time to go out. So Lindsay, this girl's night is basically for Lindsay, right? And she's so excited because she's going to get shit faced with the girls. So Sierra's like, less, we got our own room, y'all. And Lindsay's like, what are we drinking? Should we do martini? I tried not to drink in front of Carl,

but I mean, I really want to fucking go. Yeah, so she's excited to party Which I can understand why this is frustrating for the girls there because it's like We've been trying to get you to come party with us and now now now suddenly you want a party like now like now We all have to have your fun with you which Like another hand. It's like okay. They all want to have fun so that shouldn't be an issue But like that does I've been in that situation before where it's really frustrating, it's like, okay, they all wanna have fun, so that shouldn't be an issue. But like that does, I've been in that situation before where it's really frustrating where someone's like,

yeah, now I wanna be, let's do it, let's party hard. I'm gonna party hard right now. And it's like, well, I can't really articulate my feelings. So I'm just gonna like walk that all back and like maybe on a future episode, I'll be able to articulate it in a much better way. Anyway, the point is, Well, it's being in a relationship.

You can't just go get wasted every night, you know? Yeah. You're around a bunch of people who aren't in one. So now it's boys night and the guys are like, oh my god, this boy is not in cause like, this is a freedom shot. Get down on one knee. Get down Chris, this is your initiation. Freedom funnel bro.

Yeah, they're doing a whole bunch of, there's a paddle, well it's not really a paddle, it's just a cutting board. They have the Chris, like, he's biting a fake flower, they're gonna do a whole animal house initiation and Carl's like, oh, this is hilarious. Like, this is, okay, all right, on the count of three, I'm gonna walk with a paddle.

Three, two, one, just kidding bro, just kidding bro. All right, sorry, here you're asked to say it for me we should probably get a sleep by where bar is at like seven so I got good night my lips yeah my lips so the girls are getting their food and pages like oh my god this is the first time we have Lindsay by herself I'm thrilled and Amanda's like yeah what is like to what is it what's it like to be away from Carl in a fun setting yeah and um Lindsay's like, yeah, what is it like to be away from Carl in a fun setting? Yeah, and Lindsay's like,

you know, I'm like trying to be respectful around him and not be like balls of the wall, but like now I wanna be like balls of the wall. And yeah, and she's saying how she doesn't go balls the wall in the city, because usually in the city, she just sort of, she goes out, she goes to dinner and then she comes back home. Yeah well she starts offending Danielle right because they're like so you still go balls to the wall in the city and she goes well yeah it's just I'm not

there that much and Danielle is getting this offended face and Lindsay's like I mean like if I do go out it's with a girlfriend and we go to Hillsstones for dinner. She names the girlfriend. And Danielle is just getting really pissed off now. She's making these faces, yeah. She's like very exaggerated faces, like eyes bulging and then like lips going in all different directions. Well, Danielle trying too hard is always, you know? But she's trying.

And so of course, Lindsay doesn't even notice her because this is their dynamic, right? Yes. And so Danielle's, the girls call out Danielle for her faces and she's Danielle's like, well, I mean, like, so you're like Suzy Homemaker coming back from a PTA meeting. That's what it sounds like. Lindsay's like, well, that's what like normal shit like that. Couple two, like we're like a normal, perfect couple, America sweet arts.

And Sierra's like, well, but like last weekend, I felt like you wanted to go to Montauk and like, did you want him to come with you or did you like want to go without him? Like, what was going on with that? I'm sick, there would be no reason for me to go to Montauk without Carl. And Daniel goes, well, I take a strong offense to that, but you know what, that's fine. I'm just going to drink this into oblivion. And swirls are drink really big. Do you have any idea? I'm just gonna drink this into a blivian and swirls or drink really big

Do you feel sad? Whatever. So you have pages like do you feel sad when was the last time you quiet? Do you want to cry some more? Do you want to have a this? Why don't you like emotionally bear your heart to us and then we'll destroy it later Then you'll say oh I do feel sad. Okay, cuz I would love to steal Lindsay and come out to come to Montauk with me But like I know that's not a possibility anymore It's just like not, and that's not, it's not that I don't wanna have Carl there. It's like to be honest, you are curbing your drinking and, or, and like your intensity when you're around him, and that's not cool.

Like, but I also get that too, I mean, he is. He's sitting at sober per se, you weirdo. Of course she's curbing her drinking, and you would be staying home to, you would be staying home more too, if your boyfriend was there. So I think a lot of this is jelly. You know, I think it's her actually being in, like her relationship is falling apart.

She's miserable and she needs someone to commiserate with and she's like projecting a lot of shit. And I think that's also Lindsay is not around. Like Lindsay is that person who needs you as her best friend until she gets into a relationship and then she never calls you again. That too, I think it's multi-layered because now Danielle's going through shit

and Lindsay's not around. Because I get Lindsay saying, hey, I'm not gonna get wasted around Carl, but I also get them being frustrated that it's like, oh, now we know what you wanna do though. Like, you can still go out, right? Like, why do you have to, like, keep yourself in when you wanna go out, you should do what you wanna do, still.

Because I'm trying to get married to a sober person, and you can't do that, okay? Some people, you can't even, if somebody is sober, you can't even kiss them or breathe on them. Like, they get really, you know? Yeah, but they're fresh. Yeah, but they're fresh. Yeah, but they're frustrated because it's like clear that she wants to do something.

She wants to, like she's acting, well, Lindsay's saying on the one hand, oh, Carl doesn't care if I go out and get drunk, but then at the same time, Lindsay's like asking for permission to be to go out with everyone. Well, Lindsay is definitely changing herself for a man, and it's not gonna work.

I mean, we've gotten to this summer where already, she's like dropped a sobriety thing, which by the way, is totally up to her. I don't think you ever should go sober for somebody else. You do it for yourself. But she's already dropped that, and now she's doing the whole like, but I wanna go out.

This is, this can only last so long, you know? Yeah. I mean, it's a complex situation to be honest. It's kind of fast. This, to me, is the most fascinating part of the season, you know, because like, I kind of see all the different sides of it, but I get Daniel's frustration to be honest, but I also, but I also think it's crazy that you're curbing you're drinking around Carl.

But of course she is. Yeah, she's going to marry Carl, supposedly. You should. All right, well thank God that brings us to the end of this summer house. Yeah. Carried up and throw it in the trunk. That's basically the cliffhanger, is that, you know, their friendship is in peril. Well, hopefully it's going to get a lot better, you know, because apparently they hate each

other's guts now. So I guess it becomes a really big Lindsay versus Danielle season. Not that I'd love to see that, but I do love to see a triggered Lindsay, and we have not had that much yet. So... This show does kind of run on the to see a triggered Lindsay, and we have not had that much yet. So, this show does kind of run on the gas that is triggered Lindsay. So we need that. Well, it's also like, I am happy to see that because that's something that's real.

Like, what's less real is watching people put her around the house and listening to Gabby complain about tourists or something. But what's more real is watching your friendship fall apart. Yeah. All right, everybody. Well, thanks so much for being here. We will be back tomorrow with some real housewives, ultimate girls trip.

We're going to have two of those episodes this week. Our first one, we recorded this weekend, super fun. Go check it out. And we'll be back next week with a little top chef action and later in the week with Vanderpump rules and... Real Housewives of New Jersey. Bye everyone. Bye!

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