Watch What Crappens - SummerHouse: A Real Paige Turner

Episode Date: May 3, 2019

"Summer House" is full of dramz. First Paige wafts back to Carl after a dude flakes on her. Then Lindsay struggles to keep a dirty secret about Kyle. And then to top it all off, Jordan mig...ht be a virgin! What a time to be alive! Check out our recap :) See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crapens would like to think it's premium sponsors. Just saying okay. Kristi Wawardy-Dawardy.
Starting point is 00:00:33 Jamie, she has no last name. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. You don't touch the Nicki Morgan letters. Aaron McNickolas, she don't miss no trickle-ists. Megan the Slayer Taylor, in a Homer with Jeffrey Boomer. Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow we go high-low. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the birds.
Starting point is 00:00:56 Ain't no thing like Allison King. Hot dang, it's Jessica Dang. Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. Hannah, God I love that banana. Anderson, of a Nicki-la Weber. Hannah, God I love that banana. Anderson! Ova Negila Weber! Lisa Walland, now that's what I call wallentainment. The Bay Area Betches, Betches.
Starting point is 00:01:11 And our super premium Patreon subscribers. Give them hell, Miss Noel. Lulu Simon. Sue, Sue Studio. How they grant? The grant master. Let's get Racy with Miss Stacy. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony!
Starting point is 00:01:24 Incredible edible Matthew sisters and Meena kuchi kuchi kuchi Watch what crap is watch what crap in who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is Happens I'm gonna move my crap in this one. I'm gonna move my crap in this one. Watch what crap in this one. I'm gonna move my crap in this one. I'm gonna move my crap in this one.
Starting point is 00:01:52 I'm gonna move my crap in this one. Watch what crap in this one. I'm gonna move my crap in this one. Watch what crap in this one. I'm gonna move my crap in this one. Watch what crap in this one. I'm gonna move my crap in this one. I'm gonna move my crap in this one.
Starting point is 00:02:00 I'm gonna move my crap in this one. I'm gonna move my crap in this one. I'm gonna move my crap in this one. I'm gonna move my crap in this one. I'm gonna move my crap in this one. I'm gonna move my crap in this one. I'm gonna move my crap in this one. I'm gonna move my crap in this one. I'm gonna move my crap in this one. Hello and welcome to Watch For Crapins, a podcast about all the crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from the Real House where as a kitchen island, cartoon that you can find on YouTube, just use your little fingers and type into the search bar and you'll find
Starting point is 00:02:16 it. And joining me today is a man, a man who is my work husband, he is just a wonderful, wonderful creature. It is Ronnie Carram from the Rose Pricks Bachelor Rose podcast, which is coming back very soon. Is it not Ronnie? Churri is next week with the preview episode and then regular, regular day and time every week after. Ah yes, the Bachelor machine never ceases to turn out product.
Starting point is 00:02:43 Much like the crap in the machine. So you guys, we have shows coming up. We're going to be in Irvine, California in a few weeks, May 16th, day after the Southern Charm season premiere. And wouldn't you know it? That's what we're going to cover at the show. And then in June, we have Milwaukee. And we just found out earlier this week that Minnesota Minneapolis sold out.
Starting point is 00:03:03 So thanks everyone. And then we also have shows in Cleveland and Pittsburgh and Baltimore and Nashville. It's gonna be a whole thing. So go to watchacrapins.com to get your tickets because it's so fun. We have a great time at our live shows for real. It's so great to be with your people.
Starting point is 00:03:19 Come alone, come with friends, you'll have fun no matter what, we promise you. And also while you are clicking around our website make sure you do not overlook our fabulous merchandise This what's available right now is rosé all day and what else is there Ronnie? There's another rosé straight to the rosé of course straight to the rosé. How can I forget on summer house? Hello pillows ones these t-shirts tank tops leggings, there's rosé leggings, I mean, it is crazy over there, man. I know.
Starting point is 00:03:51 People just go to WatchCrapins.com, go get your stuff, it's fun, and then last but not least, of course, two less but not least, this is. One we have, crap is on demand, so you can watch us record these episodes if you go to Patreon, it's a new Patreon tier. And then on top of that, winter is crappin'ing. If you're a Game of Thrones fan, I know you're gonna be watching this Sunday. Be sure to include winter is crappin'ing as your necessary podcast listening to available on this feed, but it's also available on its own separate feed.
Starting point is 00:04:26 So go be sure to subscribe, don't just listen, subscribe and leave a review because it really helps the podcast grow. And I think that's about all the news that can fit at the top of this adorable little episode, right? Should we just move on? Should we just get over there everybody? Yeah, so let's do some summer house.
Starting point is 00:04:43 Let's go straight to the rosé as it were. Straight to the rosé. I keep going down, down, keep going down, down, you're going to add a, add a, add a, down. It's a beautiful song that leads us in, yeah, to this wonderful episode. Another wonderful episode. The morning I woke up to take notes for this
Starting point is 00:05:06 and of course, a zillion things went wrong in life. So I got all my notes done, but they're not very organized and this show is so confusing anyway. So my notes are basically, I keep going down, down, down, Jor, Lynn, Jor sync quiet. So you know, that's what you're in for today.
Starting point is 00:05:21 I'm just warning you now people. My like anal, my anal tendencies are probably, I'm gonna,'s what you're in for today. I'm just warning you now, people. My, like, anal, my, my anal tendencies are probably, I'm gonna, I, thank you for warning me. I'm going to do some deep breathing as, and be like, Ben, don't be anal. Don't be anal when Ronnie darts to 45 minutes from now in the episode. Be cool.
Starting point is 00:05:39 Be cool with my hands. Because I might do. That's okay. So, my actually, you know, Summer House is like a postmodern experience, and it can be told all out of order. that's okay. You know what we open might actually you know summer house is like a postmodern experience And it could be told all out of order. It's fine Yeah, I got the most important lines down because there were a couple of real winners in this one So after I keep going down down down
Starting point is 00:05:57 Which is you know not my favorite song great song Jordan drives up a cleansing he drove Jordan and he's like you seem quiet. What's up? And then they get other cars take me a minute to get Cena out and let me know He's gonna do this right after a fan to pump rules and it's hard not to add up I know and sometimes I find that tinsley gets in there too. I'm like oh I'm like no do Lindsey find find that tinsley gets in there too. I'm like, oh, I'm like, no, do Lindsay find find that Lindsay medium that Happy medium that is very specifically in this part of your base So first thing I'm you know, it's just it's just gonna be an evolution. Okay, um, yeah, so and then so and they get out of the car and
Starting point is 00:06:41 Carl's like a page you look cute, but you look cute. So thanks Carl. Thanks. Thanks. He's like, uh, is something wrong? Like something wrong with you, but age, like, um, my name should be crystal because I could not be more clear on how to date me and the Carl do any of those things. And then we see a list of her things. Yeah. Call me on the Tuesday. Um, order a sushi with, uh, just the green wrap on it and other rice. Um, do do more than just say that I'm cute every time I get out of a car. When we're out on our date, preferably on the Thursday night, ask the waiter if he would put some black pepper on my salad, even though I didn't ask for it. Um, when we speak on the phone, could you make it less obvious that you're also jerking off? Thank you.
Starting point is 00:07:24 Um, when we speak on the phone, could you make it less obvious that you're also jerking off? Thank you. Yeah, once you're, once you're flirting with Carl enough, it becomes very simple demands. You're like, okay, okay. The big demands can wait. Could you shoot with your embrace a kiss? Christmas? Could you just try? I know it's not quote unquote your thing, but could you just try for once? So Jordan comes in the house. He's like, we left a clean guy. So we left it real clean and page is like, uh, yeah, we also have a cleaning service. So she isn't no mood. She is a no mood. Well, Jordan's the type of guy to take credit for everything It's like well, I've really do a good job with this garden like you have a gardener. Yeah You're standing in the produce section of a supermarket. This is not a garden and you had nothing to do with this So he's like so now they're like cooking dinner and a man just gonna be slicing vegetables and Carl's like ooh Cheese which I don't know why I wrote down.
Starting point is 00:08:25 I just think it's like hilarious whenever Carl's surprised by cheese. Oh, cheese wasn't the kind of cheese I'm gonna have. Oh, well, cheese. Hey, cheese again, I can't believe you're coming into my mouth when I didn't even call you on a cheese table, right? I'm in for money.
Starting point is 00:08:39 I've just been like a bar for the past six weeks because I've been trying to impress the cheese and it's like, you know, what do I do? I'm trying to get a job, but also impress the cheese. Hey, cheese. Do you have a LinkedIn? That would be amazing. All right, cheese.
Starting point is 00:08:52 Uh, cheese. Can I have a summer Friday? Do you mind if I have that? Thanks. And Amanda's in the best mood. Hannah comes up. She's like, you want me to leave these out on a pan? These like, uh, cut up butter and us squashes and like, I'll put oil on him and lay him on a pan. And a man is like, that would be amazing.
Starting point is 00:09:07 Actually not. I own me amazing. She's like in the best mood ever. And Lizzie cannot wait to come in here. I just put a hammer through it. I know. She's like, I can't wait to surprise everyone with my guacamole. Oh, I guess it was pretty obvious.
Starting point is 00:09:23 I mean, the praise ruined things a lot. And so Lindsay has it was pretty obvious. Okay, the praise room and thanks a lot. And so Lindsay has, Lindsay's like, and he's sit down for a minute because the burden of the secret is like on top of me. So I'm just gonna sit down. She's so dramatic, like you can always tell when Lindsay has a secret because she's like, oh.
Starting point is 00:09:40 Oh. Um, I need to go to my cell phone and my bedroom room and I'm because this room is killing me and my only person I can talk to is Kyle and he's not here. Yeah, it's like, and then of course it's like augmented with Amanda who keeps saying like, Kyle and I are in a really good place right now. So like this combination of like Lindsey being like oh secret and then Amanda being like all optimistic means that we know this. We said it before but I think this time he's really growing. Oh, so Carl checks in on page in the kitchen. He's like, so I'm gonna be putting some chicken on the grill.
Starting point is 00:10:21 Oh, but I'll leave you to your kitchen to your cooking. I know I'm gonna do some manly stuff on the grill, but I'll leave you to your kitchen to your cooking. And I'm gonna do some manly stuff on the grill. And the page is like, okay, got it, Carl. Got it, Carl. All right, I felt that was a little cold, but whatever, now the grill time. You know, that doesn't count as a text in the midweek, right? You know that? That's how.
Starting point is 00:10:38 So someone's like, where is Danielle? And of course Danielle's late again, because she's taking the train. Because I think Danielle's like the only person who has a job They and they just like They cut to Danielle like in the middle of like New York City like trying to run into Penn station Like the production doesn't even bother sending her a card like yeah, you you go into Penn station enjoy that last minute sprint to find out what train You're taking the other like sorry We spent our five dollar budget this year on that zebra that Jordan sleeps with, okay.
Starting point is 00:11:06 Okay. Here's a day pass on the LIWR. So then they're all getting ready to go out and stuff and then they show them in their bedroom camps and Jordan's like checking out his fake abs and then he turns around and checks out his butt and then pulls down his underwear to check out his butt. I'm like, yes, your wax is still is still holding. Yeah. It was like like like a GI Joe, like you pulling down the pants
Starting point is 00:11:31 on a GI Joe and you just sort of see like what should be an ass, but it's just like plastic joints. Yeah, it's just a smooth, it's just a smooth rectangle with like hollowness inside. So so now the gang goes out to a G1 and they like they they did decide up the budget a little bit instead of like spending money on Danielle's transportation. They like downloaded like a special effect on Final Cut because we see them all walking in like all slow mo into Joulin as if they're like going to Tau in Vegas. They're like, yeah, walking in slow-mo into Julan, the club that Lindsey represents a little bit. It's like fan-bick's press.
Starting point is 00:12:12 To like make this look as fancy as we can, okay? And the song is like, I'm like, what is a homemade bad girl? Be quiet, Trixi Mon be quiet trixi monocle Trixi monocle is dumbing it down for this show, and I don't like it. Yeah so they're all sitting round and Jordan's like hey Amanda. I'm really digging the red lip that you've got Thanks non Kyle Kyle won't let me wear a red lip normally, so Kyle Kyle won't let me wear a red lip normally. So, Kyle.
Starting point is 00:12:49 And Carl's like, oh, yeah, actually, like real men don't like red lips. And you're like, yeah, because it gets everywhere. Am I right? It's everywhere. Yeah, that's how we can tell. Like we haven't seen any invisible people with your invisible red lipstick, all right? Virgin.
Starting point is 00:13:02 By the way, I'd like to call out that I called Jordan out as a virgin in my episode too I would like some kind of a metal you do you get a metal that's in the shape of like a used condom so yeah I'll take my used condom trophy I'll take it so then Amanda is ordering drinks she's like um do you have an apparel spritz, which I think is so hilarious, that's like going to like anywhere, like asking for the end of Hamptons, like and like wondering if someplace has an apparel spritz in the Hamptons, that's like going to a restaurant being like, do you guys have a diet coke? Actually, no, I take that back, because actually in L.A., there's a lot
Starting point is 00:13:39 of places that do not carry diet coke. So take it back, I ruined my own joke. The point is this. Yeah, I just get it. It's like going, it's like going into the haptism being like, um, do you have any like chubby white aging guys with spray hands and least cars? Yeah, it's like, you're gonna find the head. And I don't worry Amanda, just say I'll have an overall spritz. Um, I'm sorry. Do you guys have any white privilege? Okay. Hi, I'm sorry. Do you guys have any really shrill New Yorkers who are just like terrible, but they like to feel classy by coming to the Hamptons? I'm here guys. I'm here. Hey guys. Yeah, Daniel. I feel like you just like here like like glasses breaking and things falling over. I'm here Save the diesel here because I'm chasing it. I'm here. I'm here
Starting point is 00:14:37 She looks like she just like hike the Appalachian Trail made it I made it And Everyone's like how was it sick? Oh my god moving. And everyone's like, how was it? It's like, oh my god, moving. It's like crazy. You've got boxes. You know, moving. Oh, where's the D?
Starting point is 00:14:51 And then they ask her about Max. She's like, oh, he's hot. That's what he is. He's hot. And Carl goes, yeah, that guy's shredded like a Julian salad. Like, he's ripped. Let's take the most yet-beacon person of all time. Like he has my head spinning faster than a soul cycle class.
Starting point is 00:15:11 He's like a rectangle guy. He's like Julie Ann style. Oh my god. Julie Ann salad, that is like. Of all the comparison shredded, like maybe like shredded like office work or paper or like I don't Like paper at Trump's office, you know Shredded like a bank statement at Trump University also to be fair Julian's house are not shredded. They're Julian Carl
Starting point is 00:15:39 That's I'm saying. Oh, it's like a rectangle. Okay. I was just, I thought you were laughing at like the like, hmm, like the, the, this, I don't know, it's not like a basicness about it. It's just like a very specific comparison. It's like the most amazing thing I've ever heard. And I'm going to say it at least 20 times a week. Okay. So I can pretend I'm criticizing it, but I love that shit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:02 So Danielle tells us how special Max is. And I'm like, oh my god, you thirst bomb. This guy is totally into you for TV. No offense. I mean, I know he fucked you four times and congrats on that. But please don't get attached to this one. Please. I'm begging you. She's like, I'm not attached. I'm not, but I should mention that my move was to his stoop. Yes. So, uh, so Kyle starts face timing and they're like cookie. And then of course, Lindsay's like, Torture is so frugal. I'm dry news. Why am I done? Everybody that keeps saying cookie.
Starting point is 00:16:41 And Amanda's like, well, guess what, cookie? We're on a man. tonight, because you're not here. I can do whatever I want. Right, girls. Yeah, they're like, wow. So the girls decide they're they're going to go their plant like Amanda, Hannah and Paige are going to go hit on guys and they're going to see who gets the most numbers, which of course upsets Carl because he's like, you know, I like, I put myself out there a lot with page, like I'm basically like, I'm out there
Starting point is 00:17:12 as much as like a poach salmon on a bed of lettuce right now. Okay, I'm just like really exposed, a little warm. I'm out there like crumbled goat cheese, I'm a Julian salad. So, I'm out there like, a pepitas on top ofumbled goat cheese, I'm a Julian salad. So I'm not like the petas on top of the goat cheese. I can't believe they're talking about like making better numbers. When that's why I lost my job, not cool page, not cool, bro. It's like, you know, it's really hard for me today.
Starting point is 00:17:38 Like it's hard. Like I don't know where my next paycheck is coming from. And as everyone knows, when you don't know where your next paycheck is coming from, the one thing you absolutely cannot do is just send a text that says, Hey, how's it going? It's just you can't do it. So Carl's like, Lindsay, can we talk like talking about the legs? Like totally need to talk to you right now, Lynx. Totally need to.
Starting point is 00:17:56 Lindsay retouch. Like, Crumly, so uh, so he pulls her away, which means that Danielle is now stuck with Jordan. And they just have to stare at each other and Awkward. Yeah, it's really really awkward. And he's like, uh, she gets so how are you?
Starting point is 00:18:13 He's like, I mean, it's great. I mean, I'll just like the other day I was like really trying to get the CPMs up for Betges calm and then like out of nowhere This terrorist just flies through the window in our offices and everyone's scared and I had to tackle the guy I tackle them and everyone was so impressed that like five girls pulled me into the bathroom to have sex with me it was crazy but I turned them all down then when they tried to lick my butt hole I kicked them all in the face like a terrorist it's funny how it all comes full circle isn't it? Anyway like when the story is our CPMs are higher than ever. And then you're like, um, well, my career is the like the exclusive relationship.
Starting point is 00:18:48 I'm in and look, listen, Jordan, okay, like I want to be your friend. And honestly, when I first met you, I was like, look, I hope you stray and we can be friends. That's it. And then you take it to this other place and you told people that you didn't want to bring me home to your mom. Like, you don't even know me. Like, why would you say that? And he's like, um, God tests us in mysterious ways, but leaving me alone with Amanda is just cruel.
Starting point is 00:19:11 Oh, Danielle. And for the record, I do speak directly with God. I'm just saying he asked me to increase the CPMs. So, um, by the way, why can't Danielle be friends with them if he's gay? She's like, I hope he's straight and in that way we can be friends. I was like, excuse me, you can have a gay friend to your Danielle.
Starting point is 00:19:30 But I know she might find men. But so anyway, so he goes, he's like, well, you know, just to clarify, when I say I wanna bring someone home to my mom, I'm just saying I want that person to be the one and you're clearly not the one. You're so far from the one. You're like, if someone is one. And you're clearly not the one. You're so far from the one, you're like, if someone is the one, you're like the negative 10. That's all I'm saying. She's like, um, yeah, like deep down, like the one means that I want to have
Starting point is 00:19:54 sex with that person and spend the rest of my life with them. And she goes, um, have you had sex before? And he just covers his face like, oh my God. And then this is the commercial break. Yeah. That's that. Which is a good callback to on Vaterpump Rules when there was a cliffhanger of he doesn't go down on you. So Jordan's like he's like yes of course I've had sex don't you remember my very specifically detailed story on the bus about the time when I had sexuality with a woman and kicked
Starting point is 00:20:23 her in the face. That was conveniently from a movie you may or may not have seen. Didn't you hear that story I told of following the path of Reese's pieces into a tent where I clearly you forgot the story about the time I was hanging out with Bonnie Badeleot in a new office building and Terris came in and I had to save everyone. And then we had sex. and a new office building and terrorists came in and I had to save everyone and then we had sex. Didn't you hear that story about the time I had drinks with Tom Hanks who I found out was really a 10 year old? I mean that was nuts. I guess you forgot about the time that I had sex with Holly Hunter and she couldn't speak and she had a little daughter named Anna Pacquan.
Starting point is 00:20:59 I guess you forgot about that. And Danielle's like stop talking about books Jordan. Have you had sex before or not? And me and she goes, that was a tall tell that you told them the best because Danielle, I don't want to have sex with you, which is hilarious. He's turning it around and she goes, um, but you, you, you have had sex before, right? And he's like, yeah, how many times I told you how many times I don't want to have sex with you, stop begging me that, y'all. Stop. She's like, how many times you're running?
Starting point is 00:21:33 I lost count. I mean, it's like every day someone wants to have sex with me. So it's like, how could you even count anymore? You know what? My best friend used to always say, boys count men wait until they are going to see their mother with the one that they love the most. You know, it's like my best friend always says, turn the other cheek.
Starting point is 00:21:52 That's Jesus. Well, you know, it's like, you know what? It's like my best friend always says, you know what? Sometimes you get kicked out of the pack when your dad dies in a stampede and then you go and you have sex for like 18 years and you come back You like a kuna matata circle of life. It's like Jordan. That's a little mermaid So she's like, um, but I totally get it now. I totally get Jordan now like he wants a virgin bride because he himself is a virgin So totally makes sense. I'm sick of she tells him. I'm just saying you're confusing and how you do things.
Starting point is 00:22:25 Like, I don't understand. He's like, well, maybe you should have more sex with people. Like, I do. I'm only confusing because I have so much sex. It just blows everyone's mind. Good. Jen, this is call 3.0. I haven't met my quota, but guess what?
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Starting point is 00:23:34 listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So the girls are doing their getting their numbers thing and pages like, I want us, I also want to just suggested the numbers contest because I want to see how good a man that is at getting numbers and also it's fun to watch Carl cry with his mouth up in at the same time. And then we see Hannah trying to get numbers. Is, are you single? Are you single?
Starting point is 00:24:02 Are you single? Are you single? Are you single? Get it! get numbers or you single or you single or you single or you single or you single the best part of tennis is love I want your number advantage juices so a man is just like all hot and sipping your stride like I'm hot so do you have any number who likes welcome all you get me your phone number? Thanks.
Starting point is 00:24:28 She's actually talking to a mortar and pestle. That's welcome all you know. So thank Karlin Lindsay you're talking over at the bar. And he's like, I need a pet dog. Like I'm 33 and I want like, I want like a relationship a little bit. All right. Cause like, I'm chasing the squirrel right now who's like totally putting me through it. I'm going to go. Um, we have the conversation already. Why are we having this conversation
Starting point is 00:24:51 again? Is this a committee? He's like, oh my god, I hate having conversations more than once. No one wants to hear the same conversation over and over again. It's like when I speak to a right, it's like, a right, it's like, why don't we have the same conversation over and over again, it's like when I speak to, all right, it's like, over, it's like, well, we have to have the same conversation. Like, the thing with over and I is that like, we wanna move in, but we just can't get over each other. So it's like, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over.
Starting point is 00:25:13 Like, so what should I do? It's like, over, I said it. All right, you're like pussy-whiping at the pussy zone. Yeah. How about you just like, focus on getting a job and like That and then she starts like sort of punching him scratching him playfully and he's like hey, hey, hey whoa Whoa, whoa
Starting point is 00:25:34 Some of you guys My brother Carlie doll. Well, this is like whoa You're like punch me stop stop well. Well, me stop stop Well, I want a relationship well stop So then we go back to the girls flirting and the guys in the Hamptons I mean wow these guys are such douchebags every single one of them reads juice every single one of them and Hannah tells one of the guys she's like so why are you here? I think I was The sweet potato fries.
Starting point is 00:26:05 I mean, they're amazing here. Whoah! Is that your way of referring to me? Am I sweet potato fry? I die. I make it. And then Hannah's talking to another guy. She's like, so, you from Brooklyn?
Starting point is 00:26:22 And he goes, I'm close to Brooklyn. And she's like, so you from Brooklyn and he goes, I'm close to Brooklyn. She's like, oh! First time anyone had that reaction to that question. So she's so mad that he's not in Brooklyn. So anyway, Amanda winds up victorious. She gets seven numbers total, which is actually I think surprisingly low for the amount of douchebags are in that place.
Starting point is 00:26:43 I feel like they just be like, I feel like they'd just be like, you know, I feel like the, I feel like the numbers would be like raining down like Pecorino on top of a lovely chopped island. Amanda's saying, I went, but can we all agree that we all went tonight? So then at home page, they're all coming home and the page is now drunk. So she's talking to Carl again and she's walking, she. So she's talking to Carl again, and she's walking, she's walking in behind him and she goes, dating me is like biting into a chocolate oatmeal raisin cookie. Like, you think you've got a
Starting point is 00:27:12 chocolate chip one, and then you're like, well, oatmeal. Yeah, that's funny because always like dating me is like eating a delicious card trick and salad that you got at a gourmet case. And you think this is really lovely. And I love the addition of raisins in this. It really brings it all together. I have one question. Like who paid for the chocolate chip oatmeal raisin cookie because like that's out of my bud right now. I'm just saying.
Starting point is 00:27:33 I can do a pancake but oatmeal cookie I'm not sure about that. So Amanda's on the phone with Kyle or she's on FaceTime with Kyle and she's wasting. She's like oh my god Kyle, she's wasted. She's like, oh my God, Kyle. I want to squeeze you right now. I'd like totally want to do it. Oh, and he's like, oh, yeah, I got to go. Love you. Because Kyle Sober is so different from Kyle drunk.
Starting point is 00:27:54 Mm-hmm. And he's a buddy. We should mention he's like, why is everybody smiling? Yeah, he's up in New Hampshire, by the way. I'd like his birthday slash family reunion weekend. So that's where he is in case we didn't mention that. So now it's the next morning and everyone's waking up, et cetera. And we should also mention that Lindsay,
Starting point is 00:28:12 like a Danielle is telling Lindsay that Jordan might be a virgin, you know, but of course, you know, Lindsay's like, really? Oh my God, like don't talk about ever. It's like, I wasn't talking about ever. So the next morning Hannah is Like a Hannah goes off to see her parents and she's like, oh my parents are my best friends. And I miss them. It's like, okay, relax relax
Starting point is 00:28:35 And so yeah, I mean, they're not like that guy I bet last night who already found me on Instagram creeping much Yeah, so she seems off and then another card zooms up and Amanda's like oh my god It's my friend Anthony You're such a rock star. This is amazing. You brought us all these luxury cards for Kyle's birthday I'm the best girlfriend ever He's like so about that guacamole, you promised me for payment. Does that still on the table? Yes.
Starting point is 00:29:08 So she's like, he hooked me up for free. So we're going to go to a Monty Carlow party in cars. Yeah. So then meanwhile, inside Danielle and Lindsay are gossiping in bed. And the question is, do we think Jordan is a virgin? Because if he is an a virgin, he definitely is knock on late in a very long time. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:35 And I'm seeing here at Lindsay. It makes me happy for you. Is he a virgin? He's hiding something. Oh yeah, he hasn't been late in a long time. Sorry, I was lost. So Lindsay and Kat, I don't know. That's a long time. Sorry. I was lost so Lindsey and I don't know this is a little thing. They're just like
Starting point is 00:29:48 Just like All now and then when he's like What What Straight to the rosé. No, something else ever it. Don't say that name. Okay Something else ever it don't say that name, okay, what you don't even know There's been like this and like I'm actually going on like so okay I went on interest one of my girlfriends and on Thursday. She told me something and like I mean Danielle Like I'm nervous to even like okay, but like my girlfriend
Starting point is 00:30:17 She told me something happen with Kyle in the spring you cannot say anything Don't say anything not to a single soul don't say anything like I say this But don't say anything like don't even tell everyone in the house because I would hate for everyone The house to hear about this before Kyle yeah, I would hate for everybody to hear about this turn on Kyle And we have no blood on my hands. That would be terrible Also, she's lying there with the worst case of priv face I've ever seen. Oh my God. It was crazy. Stop putting colors that aren't the ladies colors on their faces and they're not doing their necks, okay? It looked like a mask. Yeah. It was bonkers looking. So finally, Lindsay spills the beans and tells Danielle about the
Starting point is 00:31:02 rumor that she heard about Kyle cheating and while she's telling it's intercut with Kyle, like driving down the highway to the hamptons be like, t cannot see anything but Kyle obviously cheated on a man to last summer. And now there's rumors around that it happened. I got an April and like, I don't know what to do. Okay. I'm like really worrying for Amanda because the last thing I would want to do is herd Amanda. Like, okay, you just like spent a year cropping grotto pictures, but okay. It's making a fool of her and that's like not fucking cool like only I get to do that okay Yeah, it's like want to come over and bang so yes be right there It's only a matter of time before this makes its way back to Amanda and I can't wait. I'm so excited
Starting point is 00:32:03 Well, so they're like making this huge drama between the two of them. Hi, this is none of your business. You gossipy little hookers. Okay. Yeah, she's like, I'm not going to bring this up today because I refuse to ruin his birthday. So what I'm going to do is bring it up today and ruin his birthday. You should have immediately called him, right? When you heard this from whoever, right after you already blabbed it on national TV to AR
Starting point is 00:32:27 And called him and told him what's up instead of blindsiding him on a birthday weekend on camera. You dick. Yeah, exactly so then Amanda's like look at the sports cars So everyone has to go down there. I'm the best girlfriend ever You're welcome. Come on. You're like welcome, Oli's of cars. So then Danielle talks to Danielle's on the phone with a Mac. She's like, am I gonna see you tonight? He's like, yeah, I'll be there. Television? Does it
Starting point is 00:32:59 going to be television cameras? I will be there. Just like, but are you going to stay with me? You're going to leave me in the kitchen. It's like, um, yeah, that's a right. I'll stay with you. And then she tells us, call me Paul Revere because the British are coming. I thought she said call me Paulette Revere, which was even worse in my mind. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:33:16 She said that or not. I don't know if she said Paulette or Paul. It was already bad at Paul, but you can imagine my heart to hear Paulette Revere. Whether that was true or not, I heard Paulette revere and I was like I cannot I cannot not Stop centering Paul revere. How about that? The British are coming to British are coming in so it's Carl in my pants. Oh my So page is like um guys want to see my driving at fit and cross like oh your frame makes me want a bullet strike
Starting point is 00:33:46 And then have delightful salad afterwards. And she's like, okay, he's like, why'd she leave? I was like, did you hear yourself? Did you hear your very forced bowling analogy? So he's like, you know what? I just, I think I'm at a point now. I think I just want to be friends with page. I think that's it. I'm like, really know what? I just, I think I'm at a point now, I think I just want to be friends with Paige. I think that's it.
Starting point is 00:34:05 I'm like, really? What totally my choice? Yeah, it's totally my choice. So like, yeah, it's my choice. It's just gonna be friends. And Jordan's like, bro, you've got to stop playing cat now because it's making you look stupid at this point. It's not a good look.
Starting point is 00:34:19 And he tells us, Carl's like the Titanic. He's big and sparkly and he's got to go on and page is like a big diamond iceberg just waiting to take him down. And I'm like the water just swirling all around them, the biggest star of that movie as everyone knows. I'm the master. My big dick is steering every woman in that place. Right. And page is like, I'm, I'm at a guy named Justin and he's perfect and he plans to date with me and I'm totally gonna see him tonight and that's why I'm gonna look amazing. So everybody get ready. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:52 So she's all excited because this will go well. And then everyone goes outside because Kyle drives up and Lindsay and Carl were like sitting on the hood of the Lamborghini and I was like, you guys are gonna dent it. Stop it. Lindsay and Carl were like sitting on the hood of the Lamborghini and I was like you guys are gonna dent it stop at So they so Kyle shows up and he's like whoa This is pretty cool and Carl's like how hard is your penis right now? It's as hard as the The wood on a bowling alley. Sorry. That one got away from me. Sorry. Sorry So they all switch up and drive the cars together. They just basically ride around the block.
Starting point is 00:35:27 Yeah, enjoy that. Joy ride in the 35 mile per hour residential road. Oh, you're bad if all that big time. Tiki Taki till the sunshine. And then their cars are like, burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I can't remember. I can't remember. It's like you see like someone on like a bicycle pedaling by. Like, oh, wait, wait. This guy was a school sign. Yeah. It's a weekend, but there's still one out of the street for some reason. Is that kind of garden walking past my Ferrari? So, um, so then we go over to Hannah's grandpa's house where she's talking with her dad and she's like
Starting point is 00:36:06 Talking about like yeah, Dave has been really great. We really like Dave a lot like I find no fault with him Get it tennis reference tennis anyway Yeah, you know like he never steps over the line I hope dad you'll let me be with him You know like it might be time to learn doubles. Just saying. So then she's like, um, so I know we're having a light heart conversation, but let me tell you about how you were being my coach and my dad and made life hard for me because I always wanted you to approve of me and anytime I lost a match, I felt like I was losing my father's love
Starting point is 00:36:43 and that's why I can't love men anymore Like wow, do you want to talk to your horny grandma for about five minutes? I need time to process this geez All I'm saying is that I was competing for your love and I put you on a pedestal Now I put other men on a pedestal and the only one who's not a bit about unapetitles me That's why I was not mostly national ranked for a little bit and now I have to retire It's like I literally can't even sit on a little bit. And now I have to retire. It's a great one. I literally can't even sit on a squatty potty without sobbing, dad. Okay. Like,
Starting point is 00:37:09 he's like, babe, I'm proud of you. And I love you. It's because you've never said that. So thanks for saying something for the first time ever. I guess I'll bring TV cameras around every fucking time I come over here. Thanks, dad. He's like, I plan to give you conditional love. time ever. I guess I'll bring TV cameras around every fucking time I come over here. Thanks, Dad. He's like, I plan to give you conditional love and as we all know, love is nothing. So.
Starting point is 00:37:36 So Carl, back with Carl and Jordan, they're all getting ready to go out now for their big Monte Carlo party. So they're all getting informal wear and Carl tells Jordan he's like, if you a girl, would you fuck me? And he's like, okay. No, no, no, all I'm saying is you were a girl would you fuck me and he's like okay? No, I'm saying is you were a girl Am I more like a shaved process pretzels right now or more of a traditional cow? What style of cut am I on a salad? Would you say I'm a dice or a slice? Am I a smile? I Kyle is more of a chop. So Kyle and Amanda, um, they're talking and getting ready and he's like, so what happened call?
Starting point is 00:38:14 I was like, well, it was literally just me and my parents, like, I went up there to tell them about love or boy and, and you know, uh, I didn't want them to be mad that I was spending more money and not bringing in rewards. You know, it goes, uh, cause if love Because if lover boy, like he starts going into this whole thing and she's like, I like to see him vulnerable guy. It's hot because yeah, also I talked about cheating on you and they weren't the cool with that. But you know, like, I don't want to be walking around like I'm hiding something. She's like, um, are you? Are you hiding something?
Starting point is 00:38:47 Come or show. Yeah, he's like, ha, ha, no, of course not. The only thing I'm hiding is the massive amount of debt that I'm in because I have to pay your part of the downpayment. And I have a beverage business, which I should not have gotten into because they notoriously fail. And I don't know what I'm doing with my life anymore. That's it Amanda, that's it.
Starting point is 00:39:12 But thanks for getting those free cars from me to ride around for a block. That was great. It was great. Really took a lot of stress off my shoulders. So then downstairs in the kitchen, everyone's all dressed up and whatever. They're like, yeah, that guy had sat on you. I don't know why I'm writing this shit down. So he's just so excited.
Starting point is 00:39:29 He's like, everyone, I just have to adjust him. I said, hi, how are you doing? And then he was like, I don't know, I haven't heard yet. But I texted him. I just want everyone to know. Well, to be fair, I sent him, the only thing I sent him was in the lip sees. But I feel like that was like very suggestive.
Starting point is 00:39:45 So then Kyle is like, yeah, for as long as I can remember, I've been sending it on my birthday. That is 7pm and I've dropped it sober. Cookies growing up. I was like, you just drove here. What are you talking about? You just said send it. You're, yeah, you're proud of yourself for not being drunk when you just got out of a car. I know.
Starting point is 00:40:04 Nothing, nothing grows you up like transportation. So so now they go over to Topping Rose restaurant where it's like Monty Carlona night. It's like all casino style and everything and everyone's you know, I partying and Hannah shows up. They're like, yeah, you know, lots of gambling. I had like a little bit of a bravo like like my direct TV had it's like standard glitch, so I lost like a minute, but I feel like I did not miss really very much.
Starting point is 00:40:31 Well, you hurt, you missed this line then. Carl goes to everybody. You guys like brute? Oh, I didn't see that. Like brute. I was like, I'm a brute. So then Hannah gets Jordan
Starting point is 00:40:43 because she's been hearing all this gossip at Jordan. So she pulls him a science like do you like Blondes or Brunettes and he's like, um, I like Brunettes, but it's more about their personality like on a Sunday morning Are they watching cartoons or are they watching church? You know, oh, I didn't tell you I almost To come a hooker last night. Oh, I'd see I definitely I didn't tell you, I almost took home a hooker last night. Oh, I'd say, I definitely, and Hannah's like, yeah, bragging about taking home a hooker, total virgin. They're right.
Starting point is 00:41:10 Like, he's a total virgin. Yeah, so now, so now page, meanwhile, is starting to spiral a little bit because the guy that Justin who she wrote to has never, has not written back yet. So she's like, hmm, hmm, Okay, I'm just going to look down at a 20 degree direction and make little comments myself. I'm gonna start my comments right now.
Starting point is 00:41:33 Not gonna talk. Feel cute my delete later. Okay? And she's like the guy, yeah, he never checks it back, but like, you know, like I never really like myself like somebody had at. And Hannah's like, um, is that because you get so fucking psycho that you get blocked. And then they cut over, they cut over to Carl Kyle and Amanda who we're talking about Jordan. And Amanda's like, um,
Starting point is 00:41:59 Carl, you guys need to ask him when the last time had sex was and Carl's like, it's just gonna lie. Right, he's just gonna lie. But I like that the whole cast now is determined to find out whether or not he has this weak card. Exactly. So now Dave and Max, the two British guys walk in and the page is like, wow, I'm so single, it really hurts. It really hurts. Like, she is fully now. Like, the page that we've known all season has now gone away. And this like new like shaken to her core page is here with us.
Starting point is 00:42:32 And Danny Hell's like, I really like Max. Like we get along really well. And then we just like cut to like a flash back to last week of him just like, humping her like a bunny like, like getting along well as far as we can see. And Carl goes up to the bar and he's like, order order. Will you crush it? But I don't know what that meant, but I just love everything that Carl says.
Starting point is 00:42:56 I'll have a please. Do you have any cheese? Brood cheese, anything? So pages like, um, look at me sitting alone at a table with couples. This feels great. Yeah. She's Shannon. She's turning to Shannon, but doors insecure. Ah, ah, look at this. Ah, ah, a couple's tripping the hamptons. This feels good. Wow. Look at me. You're in a table. I'll tell you what I'm a little bit more like a little bit more like a little bit more like a little bit more like a little bit more like a little bit more like a little bit more
Starting point is 00:43:28 like a little bit more like a little bit more like a little bit more like a little bit more like a little bit more like a little bit more like a little bit more like a little bit more like a little bit more like a little bit more like a little bit more like a little bit more like a little bit more like a little bit more like a little bit more like a little bit more
Starting point is 00:43:44 like a little bit more like a little bit more like a little bit more like a little bit more like a little bit more like a little bit more You ever been to bowling alley before you to salad? I got some good material about those. Working on a softball joke, but it keeps tying into lesbianism for some reason. So I'll be back with that one. Stay tuned. Yeah. I obviously about maybe working in some croquet, but that just may have a very limited audience. But you got to be hammered to get that one. Get it. Yeah. Get it.
Starting point is 00:44:03 So Paige is now spiraling. She's more. She's at the table. She's like, I'm, remember when I invited a guy to this tonight, that was fun. Yeah. And I was excited to see him in this dress and now I look stupid. What a great night.
Starting point is 00:44:15 This is really fun. Yeah, I was in the table. So then we, I will literally jump in the bowl. So then we see them eating later and Carl, Carl, stop eating like that. What is wrong with him? He, not only eats with his mouth open,
Starting point is 00:44:26 but his tongue is always really hard, and he grabs a piece of food with his tongue, and then he just wipes it all over his inner mouth. It's just hard to watch. Yeah, I feel like he has a 60% retention on whatever food he puts in his mouth, because there's a solid chunk that's just crumbling out onto his chest.
Starting point is 00:44:45 Yeah, you have to wear like Sammu covers when you go watch Carl Lee. So the pace is like, I got you this and she gives him a drink I guess. And he's like, well, that was sweet. She's like, I know. He's like, that was her burger. Well, I want to sit on that side by you. I can come over there. No, I'll come to you.
Starting point is 00:45:03 Do you have a compliment in me 87 times like normal? Oh, well, I was like over complimenting you. Yeah, but like, I miss it. What is happening? It's like, no, don't do this. And then she admits, at least she can admit it to herself because she's like, getting dumped made me more attracted to Carl. And now that he doesn't have a crush on me like I like him more so fuck that. He's like, well, uh, page like I basically embarrassed myself for the past six weeks because I don't think he took me seriously and my Carl, why would she ever take you seriously? Like all you would ever do is ask her to go into the pantry and then she said, hey, during the week, why don't you just like text like a hello or see what I'm up to and you couldn't
Starting point is 00:45:42 even do that and she told you that twice. Why would you take us here? Is it like, it's just like, it's not just for fun. It's just that the next person I date has to be solid and I don't want to go down the road again. If you're like, oh, great. You're cheating on me again. It's like, oh, yeah, that sucks. So do you have an at that point? Because I feel like you have blue cheese breath. So she just tells him the same thing. She's falling into a trap here because she's like, well, I just, I just want you to know I take it super slow. So let's just keep it where it was. It's like, okay, let's take it. We're two weeks in a row. I said, all you have to do is text me one
Starting point is 00:46:17 time during the week and you still didn't do. Yeah. Okay. I believe on that. It's great. I'm employed. Like, and then you see that I'm blatantly loving that you're not paying attention to me. And so I'm gonna give you what you want, why you're still not paying attention to me. And then wonder why things are later in two more weeks. Oh my God. And then get the teaser kids, you know, but I wanna run over there like,
Starting point is 00:46:34 Hi, Paige, I'm your anti-Rony. Get in the back. See, this fucking car right now. We are going for a drive. Yeah, there are better options. So meanwhile, we see Amanda just like torquing in the corner for no good reason. She's just alone just torquing.
Starting point is 00:46:47 And then Kyle goes up to Jordan and he's like, they're talking about, you know, sex and stuff and Kyle's like, so, uh, so when was the last time you actually had sex and Jordan's like, um, let's see, I think it was, um, September, spring, summer, May, with joggers, joggers, joggers. Yeah, you know, I could have had, I could have taken the soccer, we were banging. Joggers, May. Joggers, joggers. Joggers, yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:06 You know, I could have taken a soaker. We were banging out with the home last night, but I didn't because she was invisible. I love how he says it, because he opens his eyes really big. He's like, I could have taken home a hoaker last night. Like, wow, score. It's like, you could have bought a bag of chips.
Starting point is 00:47:22 Woo, big, big, big, big, big, big. The food industry really respects you. And I was like, yeah, he's a virgin. Yeah, I was like, sometimes you got to bang a hooker because yeah, he's 100% and Jordan's like, well, I mean, I do beat off every day. So it's okay. Well, like twice today, I did twice a day today. Jordan's like, I don't know why everyone's making my sex life such a big deal. I mean, just because the second time I ever had sex was
Starting point is 00:47:44 at Hogwarts Castle and it was with a monster that only had a hand in a foot and everything else wasn't visible. But why is that such a big deal to everyone? Just because the last time I had sex was getting pegged by Hermione in front of Mrs. McGonagall, I mean, what's the big deal? Just because the last time I had sex was in Winterfell during a siege, like what's the big deal? So then Amanda goes up to Kyle and she's like, Kyle, you're such a young man. She's drunk. And then Carl and Paige are sitting together. So she's like, um, guys, listen, you're not gonna fuck or you're not gonna
Starting point is 00:48:25 fuck. Make up your mind. Yeah. And she's like, Kyle, look at this table. These two are together, these two are flirting, these two are vlogging, these two are together. She's been quiet and you just see Lindsay be like, mm-hmm. And it's also making her crazy Mm hmm. Oh, I'm just doing the resume. All right, I'm gonna try and try and try and run. And it's also making her crazy because no one's asked her, like, Lindsay, what's wrong with you? And she's been throwing a silent fit,
Starting point is 00:48:53 like stomping her feet, looking away, rolling her eyes, like swirling her wine in her glass, like trying to get anyone to say, what's wrong? But nobody will. No one cares. No one cares. So finally, like, but Danielle has has, since Daniel
Starting point is 00:49:07 is becoming Lindsay's sidekick, as her sidekick, it's her duty to feel whatever her master is feeling. So now Daniel is feeling something. So Paige is like, Daniel, like what's on your mind? And please don't say the D. Please don't say the D. OK. Please for once in your life don't say okay the D
Starting point is 00:49:28 Yeah, so Danielle's like I heard a rumor and Okay, I'll just tell you okay Penn station is totally changing the way they're doing ticketing. Oh, wait, wait different rumor Okay Corny Lindsay Kyle cheated on Amanda in April Kyle cheated on Amanda in April. I checked. She doesn't deserve this and I will not say anything ever. Not one single thing. She's like, oh my God. Yeah, like Lindsay should talk to Kyle because that's like how the chain of
Starting point is 00:49:54 Madworks check. Look, I just wanted to tell you because I know you're really close to her and you're not going to be tempted to tell her at all. Like right now when we're drunk and you're already miserable and could probably use somebody else being miserable to be on your misery boat with you, okay? Is Lindsay gonna get mad that you told me? No, no, of course not.
Starting point is 00:50:12 She's like famously very level headed and doesn't fly off the handle over stupid shit. So it'll be totally cool. Are you fucking kidding me? I do not have time for communism. Yeah, Lindsey does my favorite thing that she says, I don't have time for this. I don't have time for this. I literally don't have time for this.
Starting point is 00:50:35 I'm getting to bed and more it's all cozy, where I don't have time for this. Yeah. Um, yeah, Lindsey. Wow, and that's how we ended. That's how we ended. That's how we ended. Swamahos, super fun. But before we sign off here,
Starting point is 00:50:53 let's go into the Krapins Mailbag. [♪ Music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background I hope you could hear that. Could you hear that? Sure could. Well, that's fun. So crap is mailbag is where you guys ask us questions and we answer them on the air. It's available on Patreon. Just go to patreon.com slash watch a crap ends and support us at the mailbag level or above. So let's see random question, random question. Um, let's see, Jamie, see Jamie all runner she says are you guys
Starting point is 00:51:27 still watching Mexican dynasties would you recap it if you had room I'm loving this show and I hope Bravo keeps it around. I am watching Mexican dynasties I think it's over for the season but I've been watching it while I eat lunch which is you know 20 minutes a day so I'm going very slowly through it, but I was, I crack up at it. Um, who are you? You cannot read a don't like this. I think it's the funniest fucking thing and I laugh out loud.
Starting point is 00:51:53 The brother and sister annoy the fuck out of me, but they're funny. I'm on the episode now where they're saying, they're having a party to celebrate their second anniversary of their show and every single person they call, they're like, and the team and the team black and white extravagant. And they both yelled together in dance around and they have to call like 20 people and they do it to every single person they call and the maids commentary in the back they're like, we get it. It's black
Starting point is 00:52:21 and white extravagant. I mean, I love it. We don't recap it because there's just too much shit going on. And that's really why. But yeah, I mean, it's over now. So yeah, I think we fully intended to cover it like 100% and there's just too much stuff on Bravo. And it's just sort of sucks because some of the shows that we were covering like Atlanta and you know Vanderpump rules were sort of like not great And I kind of sucked to like put like a show that's really fun on the sidelines But we can't not cover those shows, you know So it's a bummer and also the show is like really like a Beckton Dymist is like a really like fun happy show So it's a little harder for us to To find our snarky commentary with it. But,
Starting point is 00:53:06 you know, it's been hard, Bravo has been turning out so much stuff. We've barely been able to fit Project Runway into the schedule recently, and that's like a big show. So we're trying our best. Hopefully, when I'm sure it's going to have another season, and hopefully it'll be at a better time of the year for us where we can cover it. Hopefully we can get some screeners because if we get screeners, that makes it a lot easier to accommodate shows into our recording schedule. We'll see, but I'm not as far along as you are, but what I have seen of the show, I've really loved.
Starting point is 00:53:40 It's a bummer that we can't cover. We get a lot of requests to cover it, but unfortunately, we personally have only so much bandwidth. So bummer. What else is in there, Bian? Dashcat has a really torturous question. Dashcat says, hi, fellas, a spiritual fuck Mary Kale game for us. There's one for each of us, Ronnie.
Starting point is 00:54:00 So yours is peanut M&Ms, old Navy and patty lapone. Um, fuck peanut M&Ms, Mary old Navy, kill patty lapone. And here's why, because I've already got patty lapone the way I like her, recorded. Okay, got it recorded. I've gone to pay to see her twice and she's barely getting out of bed at this point. She's like, whatever.
Starting point is 00:54:23 Hi, client, client, client, that's a trolley, all right. All right, here, this point. She's like, whatever. Uh, clang, clang, clang, clang. That's a trolley. All right, we are. All right, here I'll sing a good one, boys. Hey, no, I don't have enough, chicken. All right, I'm tired. I'm exhausted. Then I still love my patty the poem,
Starting point is 00:54:35 but I've already got my Aveda original cast recording. My lame is original London cast where she was fontaned and a plenty of concert CDs of patty the phone and so if it comes over you know if it's coming but if patty the phone's trying to come between my old Navy if I didn't have old Navy I wouldn't have close because I'm too big to fit in normal clothes and if I didn't have peanut m&m so I wouldn't need old Navy so you see the conundrum. I do I do that's that's a good I feel like there's a really strong argument on your end. Thank you what's yours mine is darn near impossible? Okay, fuck Mary kill board games
Starting point is 00:55:10 I need garden and big business. I literally don't even know how to answer this like I don't know I got like I almost feel like Unfortunately big business may have to get killed because my love for board games and I need garden is is so strong that even Eclipse's big business, which is hard, it's hard for me to say. But then, like, because I feel like I would marry board games because I would honestly be perfectly happy to play board games rest of my life every single day. I'd be happy to be married to board games, but board games also cost a lot of money and they take up space.
Starting point is 00:55:42 And then you also have to rely on other people. And then you wind up like having to constantly like find other people to do the thing that you love. So in a certain way, I almost feel like I should kill board games because life would be easier. So I don't even know. Funny that you just described marriage. It costs a lot of money and you keep having to find other people to do it with you
Starting point is 00:56:02 to make it interesting. So I guess board games is marriage. So I'm marrying board games, but then it's like I can't just have a one night stand with Inaigarten. I mean I want Inaigarten in my life every day. But it part of me feels like if I had Inaigarten in my life every day, it would be really bad for my waistline. And it probably it would be best to have like a single dollyance with her and then it probably would be best to have like a single dalliance with her and then move on to my main bitch board games. So and big business, I love big business, but I almost feel like if I married it, it would lose its magic. And if I fucked big business, I would be unsatisfied so the best thing would be just to put it out, just like not deal with it at all. So I'm going to say, marry board games, fuck on a garden, kill big business, and I have
Starting point is 00:56:49 tears in my eyes because I want to marry all three of them to be honest. Yeah, well you don't have to marry your fuck big business because you've already seen it a lot of times. I've seen it a lot. I feel like in a certain way I already was married to it. I'm not saying I'm married to it. I don't know. That was really hard for me.
Starting point is 00:57:04 That was a really, really hard question. That's how you went through it on that one. I did. I did. I think at the end of the day, board games, my number one, I got to stick with board games. We did it. We did it.
Starting point is 00:57:15 Thank you guys. So that was Crapids Mailbag. Thank you guys for another great week. We will be back on Monday with, I think, Potomac. Potomac is back on Monday. And then of course on Sunday or Monday morning, wherever it is, our new episode of Winter is Craping for you, Game of Thrones fans. So thank you everyone, great week, and have a wonderful weekend. Bye everyone. Bye. Hey, prime members. You can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today.
Starting point is 00:57:49 Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.

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