Watch What Crappens - SummerHouse: Doing a Few Slaps in the Pool
Episode Date: January 25, 2022For those of you who can't make the 2022 Golden Crappies Awards in-person this year, experience it live digitally from the comfort of your own home at momenthouse.com/wwcThis week on Summer H...ouse, the gang throws their first big party since the pandemic started, and it's got everything we could want: Carl spitting game at Ciara, Kyle and Amanda fighting, and a random girl punching Andrea in the face. Fun!Get tix to our live shows: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/10th-anniversary-hunky-dory-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts!
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Hello and welcome to Watch or Crapins, a podcast about all that crap on Brava we just
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I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the one and only Ronnie Caram, hey Ronnie,
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Hello, hello, hi
you. You look just like a little angel today, Ronnie. Oh, thank you. You're a little
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Yeah, so after the crappies, we're going to be in Jersey in Asbury Park on Saturday night and we
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We're going to talk about season nine as well,
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hair, bachelorly hair pulling fight.
It's a good one.
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I was gonna try to make some sort of like weird reference to summer house like a box of love for boy or something
He didn't really work out. It was a bad transition guys. I apologize, but let's start talking about
Summer house so previously on summer house as just page page and Sierra saying, yeah, you see his muscle
shirt, I hate it.
That's disgusting.
It was disgusting.
It was disgusting.
Disgusting.
So we actually ended last week with Kyle and Amanda having a big blowout fight after Kyle
came home drunk at like four in the morning and Amanda threw all his shit and broke it
in the bathroom. And they, you you know gotten this huge couple fight and then Amanda cried and slept in the guest room and locked him out of the house
But he got it back in anyway and it just ended with him going shut up
and
It starts with him going God shot up. You're about as fun as a fucking piece of wood!
Yeah, and Lindsay's like, this is gonna be an disaster!
So then Maya is talking to Andrea and she's like, so can you cook?
The thing that we learned about Maya and that comes out this episode, but what we learned since the premiere is that Maya's ex is Kwame from Top Chef,
which is hilarious to me because last week's episode she mentioned a few times
like various cooking things and I feel like
she was just, she's been waiting for like the segue
to say yeah, my ex boyfriend is a celebrity.
Like I was dating Kwame, she's just like,
oh so can you cook?
Yeah, yeah, I know people who can cook.
You wanna ask me about that?
No?
Yeah, it's kind of a loaded question, right?
If you know the boyfriend's Kwame,
like, is that good or bad?
Is she gonna hate you if you can cook?
Yeah.
Or is she gonna like,
just try and replace Kwame?
We don't know.
And he's like, well, my something else
I can cook a big of things.
And she's like, oh yeah.
So did you have a no-na who taught you recipes or no?
I'm just trying to help you get on the show. I know some people so he's like
My mom my is better than my grandma. I was like, oh well you can't say that out loud at cooking only at cooking
So then later Amanda and Sierra are in the kitchen and Amanda's like, you know why it's one of those mornings
I need all the bad branches.
Yeah.
I got it.
I date Austin.
Like, trust me.
I get meeting to drink through the day.
Okay.
See, I really get set.
So she's like, I'm not pretending nothing happens.
I just can't talk about it without crying.
So Kyle goes off for a run and he's like, I mean,
to be having the fight that we had two years ago
It's like Groundhog's day like we both have things that were actively working on and I'm always gonna be it made out to be the bad guy because I'm the one who cheated
It's like
Yes
I mean yeah pretty much, but you're also you're also still getting fall down drunken staying out till four in the morning
It's like nothing has changed.
So why would the fight change?
I feel like if I did something wrong,
and I was always gonna be like that,
I was always gonna be sort of a hell to that.
I think I would start to change my behavior's a little bit.
So that way people would see that I've evolved.
I'm not the same person, right?
I mean, I wouldn't because I just change,
you know, I don't do shit for people.
Like I do it for myself, but at the same time,
why are you guys in this relationship?
Okay, you wanna go out and party.
She doesn't want you to.
You're not gonna change it.
She doesn't know why you're not gonna change.
You're both idiots.
Just break up, okay?
There are other vanilla white people to marry.
Vanilla will always find vanilla.
It's like in every recipe.
You know what I mean?
Delicious hot vanilla.
So Jesus, you think there's like a shortage
of privileged white kids running around
by hamptons of all places.
Like, you like will meet like somewhere, okay?
Just go to the fucking market, YouTube.
The market.
So then Maya is like, is it supposed to rain today?
And everyone goes, yeah, probably.
She goes, oh my god, it's 100%.
Is Maya, is she from Los Angeles?
Like, what?
Oh, excuse me.
She's blown away by 100% chance of raining.
And it's also, by the way, actively raining too, I should mention.
Yeah, that was funny, Kyle.
It's like, I'm going to go running.
I'm so mad.
And he starts running. And then it rains on his head
He's like god damn it. He's fucking getting me with this. It's literally like when you get the gray crack
The gray cloud in Mario Kart
It's like god just great great cloud Kyle at that moment
Yeah, so Carl's like
I wanted to go to the brewery today, so I need one more to go to the bar
And Alex is like yeah, like I want to go to the store so I can buy food for myself.
Because literally this morning, I was like, what is this in the fridge right now?
Like, look at this. This is what I need.
This is what I need to maintain this. Look at this list, everybody.
He is such a douche. I'm so glad that Summer House brought back a douche.
You know, we didn't really have a douche last summer,
not like, not like, what was his name?
What was the, he's like, I'm the number one, Jordan.
I'm the number one bachelor on a hinge.
So it's like so good that they brought us a new type
of, like they brought us a fitness douche.
So that's like really exciting for me.
So then I think he's like a nerdy kid.
I mean, I don't get like total douche five off of him.
He's just someone who like really thinks
everyone else is into his hobbies
because he's been hanging out with those guys, you know?
But nobody cares, dude.
Nobody, we already have to deal with your protein farts.
Okay?
Nobody in this house wants to hear about your fucking diet.
Well, I think that, I think you're right. I actually do get like big nerd.
Like that weird thing that happens when nerds
sort of become hot and then also work out.
And then you get that strange sort of personality
where they're like, now they're kind of like they present
as jock, but they're still nerd
and they don't know how to live in that in between space.
And you can see that happening.
And to me, the way that's translating out is in do shrie.
Right, so I think it's actually all of the above. Right, it's like kind of opposite of a lot of people. between space and you can see that happening and to me the way that's translating out is in Dushery.
So I think it's actually all of the above.
Right, it's like kind of opposite of a lot of people.
It's like I want to be known from my body, not my brains.
You know, it's got a little backwards.
It's like I'm so sick of being the smart one.
I just want to be the hot one for once.
He clearly does not have a lot of relate to people.
Like that's like very evident
and they're all being super polite to him right now.
But you know page
Give it like two episodes and page is gonna be like emergency meeting in the bedroom tiara
I don't like it. Well, there's no one that's gonna hate you
More than when you bring broccoli into snottiness. I'll take that right now broccoli
Hippocrates broccoli against people and you're gonna pay, bitch.
It's broccoli hypocrisy.
That's why I'm actually really excited to talk
about that scene when it comes up.
Hybrocklessy.
So, Sierra's like, I'll go with you,
because Sierra, that's what Austin used to love
to go to the store.
So I think she just likes guys who are like,
it's good with the grocery store,
because that was always Austin thing.
And also she's just like, because he's like big and muscular and stuff.
Yeah.
So, um, uh, uh, then Sierra's with Paige, and she's like, is it annoying how we're like
always together?
Like, good luck trying to not be my friend.
You're never getting rid of me.
Oh my god, it's adorable.
So then Kyle returns and he's all wet. You know,
he's been running in the rain. I mean, that is some dedication right there. And Andrew is like,
I'm going to the brewery. And he's like, uh, yeah, I guess so. And the matter is just sitting on
the couch, blinking at him with a blanket. She's like, Kyle, She's not saying anything about her eyes. You're saying, Kyle.
Yeah, definitely like a state of guacamole withdrawal.
So Kyle is like, babe, I fucked up.
I didn't see like my phone like, nothing bad happened.
I don't want to fight with you all weekend, which is like crazy.
Like how do you not know your, check your phone.
Again, our point remains from last week, which is like crazy. Like how do you not know your checker phone? Again, our point remains from last week, which is,
how did no one like grab Kyle and say,
let Kyle were leaving, you gotta come with us.
Like how did that happen?
I really don't understand that.
So a man is like, it's so unfair.
It's unfair, you're making this into whole thing.
So then Lindsay Carler and Lindsay and Carler
in the kitchen and Lindsay's like,
Fuck you dishwasher!
Thank you!
What was that?
What was that?
What was that?
I'm talking to the dishwasher!
Oh, tell it I said it looks great by the way.
Yeah, I have to say, can you tell the dishwasher?
Lashers are such a crazy year, so like if you think about dishwasher, we never really
had like a one-on-one conversation before. So I think you're great. So just let
her know.
Yeah. Oh, make sure the dishwasher has a setting for Sambat. And then it's Sambat.
Right. Sambat. So now everyone is going, they're getting into the car to go to the brewery.
Daniel, I thought this was felt like a good metaphor.
It's like raining and so Danielle picks up a dormat
and puts it over her head to protect her.
And then there was something about Danielle
implying a dormat, which felt like I felt like
there's a metaphor here.
I don't know what it is, but it's there.
Oh yeah, or is it literal?
I'm not really sure.
So then Lindsay is like,
what's Alex doing?
We're in the Amazon.
And Cargo's got that dude, Ollie doesn't just sleep.
That's all he's doing.
And then it cuts to Alex in his bedroom staring at himself in the mirror,
flexing. He's like, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, protein.
Yeah, I don't see that I can see last night's turkey.
Yeah, turkey in the Vans.
Yeah, I don't think he said, Ollie does a sleep.
I think he said he doesn't own anything with sleeves.
Because they're saying he's gonna be cold
because they were saying it's surprisingly cold.
Like poor Alex doesn't have any sleeves.
So then, and Carl's like, leave him alone.
Oh, so then, and then Maya says something.
She's like, guys, my thing is that I always like
to have the first pun.
Did I hear that correctly?
She wants the first pun.
Yeah, my goal is to have the first pun. And I hear that correctly? She wants the first pun. Yeah, my goal is to have the first pun and crowd's like,
dude, I love your low goal. I love your low bar for goals.
And Lindsay's like, my goals are making out with people.
Guys, or girls, summer Lindsay. Yeah.
Is a hot, open-mouth summer.
So then, she says that she's not sure how the miscarriage is gonna affect her.
She goes, I don't know if it's gonna be late onset emotional rollercoaster for me.
I'm like, yes, it will be and I'm not making fun of the miscarriage.
I'm just saying whenever there's a question of if there's going to be an
An onset emotional rollercoaster for Lindsay the answer is yes, it will happen. It will happen. Oh, yeah
Lindsay is like super delayed like she's gonna get mad tomorrow about
ever but this editing was really weird because she goes I don't know how the
miscarriage is gonna affect me in the long run and then it cuts to Carl going
you start to make me horny with all this talk and then it cuts back to her. Like what the hell? What is this?
No, no, that's an odd choice.
So then she's like,
Oh, now that I have zero attachments,
my goal is to have a hot hub, Samurl.
It's amazing how often she's able to work hub
into random phrases.
Like every year she's got a whole new batch
of hub things that she uses.
Yeah. And then she's got a whole new batch of hub things that she uses. Yeah, um, and then she's like, girls, if you guys come down on a girl, like no, she goes, oh my god, you're missing out.
And girl goes, uh, hey, Lindsay, have you watched on a box?
I was like, yeah, I've watched on a box.
Yeah, I've been in my box much too.
Nice.
Just like, who says munching on boxes?
She's like munching a box, that almost sounds like
a crunch box.
By ever.
She's like munching on a box, sounds like lunch box.
And have you guys ever gone to like a restaurant
where they do like a high end lunch box,
like a throwback, but then size like gourmet food?
Do you want, you want to ask me if I've had that before?
No, okay.
Mm-hmm. Poor Maya. So Kyle's like, my blood sugar is low. I'm kind of something's happening because
this is the hardest bone I've ever had. Like, ah-ha-ha-ha-ha. So they go to, oh, then it comes back to Alex.
Now he's shirtless staring at himself. He's like, yeah, yeah, oh yeah.
And truly a microaggression towards Alex.
Andrea is now talking about making pasta
because he has pulled out some tomato sauce,
some jarred tomato sauce, which happened on Winterhouse,
too, and he's like, oh, this is a blast for me, yeah.
And so he's like, I'm gonna make you blasphemy. Yeah. And so he's like, oh, I'm going to make you guys a pasta,
pasta for the ladies.
So Paige is like, I'm obsessed with him.
Yeah.
When Ancumst of Haastasauce, I can always have it.
That doesn't really make sense.
It's really so hot.
I don't know what to say.
So I'm going to fuck him.
I'm going to fuck him again.
So then, Andrea is talking about how he made such great memories
with Paige and Vermont, and it's like nothing has changed.
And I make little comments to her,
and sometimes personal things.
And so then me, while Alex and Sierra
are driving off the grocery shop,
and they're just sort of like making small talk
about beer pong and everything, and he tells us,
growing up, my parents put me in a lot of extra curricular activities
I had to do Chinese calligraphy
Advocates violin piano baseball basketball soccer
Ground turkey making I actually had to grind turkey. I also had that eat ground turkey. I had to study ground turkey
Just a lot of things about ground turkey. I was in ground turkey club for four years. That's a president ground turkey club
It's just a lot. I did a lot of things.
And Alex is asking Sierra, why did she move to New York?
And she's like, you know, I just figured like,
if not now, when?
Plus, I'm like on a show that's about being from New York.
So I figured if I wanted to keep that,
and I have to shove my finger up, you know,
you're like, help people anymore.
Well, they're bleeding to death.
I'm like, I'm gonna make the fucking effort, all right?
I hear New York is the place where people
who have sparkling personalities like me go to shine.
So that's why I'm there.
Yeah, I'm just another light on the bright,
bright street of Broadway.
You knew your, where dreams are made of.
By the way, I apologize to nurses
before I even get in trouble for,
cause I don't even know, listen to me try and come up
with things that nurses do.
I mean, that's really sad that I couldn't do everything.
I couldn't even, like literally everything
in the hospital, nurses do.
And I'm like, what do nurses do?
What do they shove their fingers up?
Like, I don't even know where I was going.
Please forgive me, I met no offense.
Well, a nurse may still shove their fingers up something,
but it may not pertain to their job.
That just may, that just may be a separate activity.
Well, sorry about that, I tried.
It fails.
Okay, that was a failure.
I would like to just confess and apologize, right?
Sometimes jokes get away from us, especially on Summer House,
when there's so much going,
there's a lot of talk about ground turkey,
and we have a really hot guy on there.
It's just overstimulated.
I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.
So yeah, so then she's like,
I need some change and then someone hunks at her
and she just shut the fuck up and he's like, yeah.
Like you can see, he really liked that. So then we're back shut the fuck up and he's like yeah, like you can see he really liked that.
So then we're back at the brewery and Lindsay's in glasses and Kyle's like are those prescription grandma hugs?
Like what the hell? She's like I'm their friend Blue Blankers and like a blue ball.
I don't know.
And then they start ordering all these these micro brews you know You know, I have a thing with micro-brews
that I generally hate them.
Just because they annoy me.
First of all, most of them are too fruity for me,
but they also all have like really annoying names.
Like, I'm gonna order the rose and the rose and the hose,
or I'll get the weekend of Bernie's.
I'm like, oh gosh.
I just try, I think you're on either side.
I understand micro-brews.
I don't know what it even is.
Like, I don't know what it refers to. I don't know what it refers to.
I don't care.
Sandwich and glass.
Learned it at Weight Watchers.
Sandwich and glass.
Don't do it.
Yeah, well, you just want that taste
of the nation with Padma going to Milwaukee
and she goes, that guy's garage
and he's brewing something in the bathtub.
She's like, is this beer?
Let's talk about who we still beer from
and flirt with each other.
Do you remember the time that my good friend Ali Wong brought me a beer?
No, of course you don't because you're not famous enough to hang out with us.
Go away.
Join me for my new show.
Let's talk about what America stole from other countries for their nation.
Join the my new show poor people making drinks in their bathtub!
C'mere shoes, here comes one right now!
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So they're talking about how nice it is to be out of the house
and cause like, yeah, this is a good class of kids.
And Daniel's like, I mean, do you even like us?
I don't know what she's talking about.
And Lindsay's like, oh, Maya, yeah, okay.
And so Lindsay's like, well, I'm having a good time
with you, Maya.
Like, my, I didn't even hear you.
I mean, all I'm doing heard was engaged
and activated.
And then Maya's like, yeah, so I recently got out
of my relationship about six months ago.
And you know, we were just having the same fights
over and over again. And I met, you met my fiance my ex fiance when good for you
that's really hard and you know like I just lived in the shadow of him you know shadow
is so hard you know I made a big shadow a subway billboy and I was like how many of
that one did you made me am I right you? You're not activating me subway, Bill Boy.
I know.
You might have heard of my ex-fiance.
Yeah, I can't wait to date people this summer.
Can't wait to date people this summer.
For my, man.
Yeah, but I did like was that they showed, when they showed Kwame,
they first of all, they pulled a clip from the episode
that we were on in the background.
I was hoping we'd be in the background of that clip.
I was so upset that we weren't.
My dream is to make a cameo on Summer House via a top chef flashback with Gail Simmons
in the foreground, but unfortunately that did not happen.
I still thought it was very special that we got like, a random moment with Gail Simmons
in the middle of Summer House.
I think we should all appreciate that.
You know, that's a wonderful meeting of the worlds there.
And I like that the,
I like the clip they chose to during Lindsey's big like,
I got glasses to, I got blue glasses for blue miles.
And Gail's like, you know what?
I really like the nettingness.
That's what I'm getting, nettingness.
So Maya tells us that her fiance, whose name she's not going to say, was very popular
and successful.
And then she found out, she found herself being identified on his behalf.
And she's like, I mean, I was with him and he was famous.
And for my ego, that really sucked. I mean, I was with him and he was famous and for my ego that really sucked.
So, how many times can I tell him, please don't go out of the house with a crazy yellow
stripe that goes from your right shoulder to your left hip.
Just don't do that and he would never listen to me.
So Kyle says something about, do you go back to the well, I guess like do you still hook
up or something, is that what he meant?
Yeah, he said, do you go back, like you've gone back to the hell I guess like do you still hook up or something is that what he meant yeah you said you go like have you gone back to hell well she's
like yeah a few times like in most recent time was like a month ago and he goes well well well well
oh Kyle you're telling dad jokes too soon also like she said she wanted the first
pun yeah and he also stole the first time wanted the first pun. Yeah, and he also stole the first pun.
I stole the first pun.
That's so sad, poor Maya.
So then Paige and Amanda are sitting on the couch at home,
talking deeply.
Paige is like, how do you feel?
And Amanda's like, how do I look?
Just, I mean, actually, you look great.
Like, amazing.
It's almost like you have a hot six foot four Italian man
banking you pastis sauce. Tell me your secret. Oh my god
That was my secret never mind. This has been a great conversation with me
God I love me
So Amanda's like it's just been four years of trying to figure this out
And I want to save this relationship
I can't take the drinking and the behavior that comes with it
And how am I supposed to marry you this? I you continue to act when you know how I feel about it.
Then don't, I mean, I mean, I've actually,
I'll say actually at four years,
this is now more on Amanda than does on Kyle, unfortunately.
Yeah, I'm starting to feel that way too.
Like you know what you're getting into.
Don't do it, you know?
And look, of course, someone can change.
Like look at Carl, you know, not drinking.
Of course, people go, people get sober all the time, but they have to do it
for themselves. Otherwise, you've got fucking James from Vanderpump rules who's still walking
around to this day, at least in episodes going, Hey, yeah, remember when I quit drinking
for you, but yeah, I did that for you. Well, I mean for me too, but for you, but it's like
it's always something they hold over your head, you know.
People can remove toxicity of their lives,
which can sort of like, I think help them grow,
whether or not people can quote unquote change
is of course the eternal question.
But the one thing that we do know is
that you can't make people change, unfortunately.
Yeah, so, you know, but that being said,
that being said, people could try to change
if they want to save things.
So page is like, how many times have you had this conversation?
Because I've already heard it like 15 times from it, and I'm exhausted.
Yeah, but it's like so frustrating.
Like how do you not see how much I'm struggling?
And like, what do you not want to change?
He's told you a million times he doesn't want to change. He's told you a million times he doesn't want to change.
Lady or pages like does he understand he's like on the brink of losing you again?
I mean, I know he's been on the brink a lot, but you know, maybe he's been on the brink so much he can't really even fill the brink, you know, tell him to get some roller skates because you're
gonna go to the brink. Is it okay? I mean do something I find some way to let him know he's on the brink.
Does Kyle know that he might be gainfully employed as a brink
struck driver because he's so much on the brink?
I mean, tell him you're going to go see a Broadway musical,
a revival of the brink, just something,
starring Liza Manali, even, just something.
Don't something.
Is Andrea making some pasta with squid, brink sauce.
Get it?
So basically Amanda's like, you know,
like there's a, like she's just, you know,
obviously going through it.
So it's all the same stuff.
And pages like, do you think that like,
do you, is there a part of you that like wants to say,
like, fuck, I don't want to do this?
And she's like, not that I don't want to do this,
but I'm afraid that I can't do it.
And so then now Paige just sort of like gets really close she's like okay, too girl
coming in for advice.
Okay listen, I know it's super scary like paying for full price for something but calling
off a wedding is less scary than in 15 years hating your fucking life which is essentially
what I'm saying you will be doing if you marry Kyle.
So you can't make people change no matter how much you love them.
So, you know, like and subscribe.
Yeah.
I'm at the point where I have to make like really hard decisions.
Blink, blink.
So then on page later they taste Andrea's pasta.
And they're like, mm-hmm.
And they're just like, I feel like this is a weird fantasy porn where I am.
And I like it.
It's like, ah, you like it, ah, you like it.
Yeah.
It's just, it's going on my new site, OnlyPans.
I can subscribe.
I like it, subscribe.
Oh, it ends.
So, so then, Alex and Sierra come back
and they're already started to talk about
what they're gonna be making for dinner
I guess because I thought it was the like 11 a.m. But it's actually like 5 p.m
So they're talking about like making burgers or whatever and Sierra says that she's gonna cook some
Broccoli and so Alex goes are people really going to eat broccoli?
So Sierra goes oh, yeah, we love roast broccoliccoli and Paige goes, yeah, where are big broccoli
hills? He's like, sorry, just judging by the breakfast you guys had, I mean, literally.
And Paige goes, what would we have for breakfast? He's, and Sierra says, bacon, always bacon.
And Paige goes, okay, well, what did you have for breakfast? He's like, uh, three eggs, a half a head of broccoli,
nine pounds of broccoli, 18 pounds of turkey,
and three pieces of toast.
So.
Page is like, wow.
Wow.
Page.
By the way, can you tell how much page hates this guy?
Like on such a high level, again,
in such a deep way that page hates this male.
I wonder if there's a kind way to ask somebody
to die in a fire, please.
Oh, Amanda, let's play that game.
You play with jewels.
Yeah, this guy is not going to,
you can't just be the new guy in the house
and then just pass it aggressively,
shame everyone for their breakfast.
Also, everyone had what eggs and bacon,
a fairly standard Saturday morning breakfast, and
I'm not saying everyone in the world has it, but if you were to see people eating it
on a Saturday, you would think truly nothing of it.
And the fact is, oh, you guys eat broccoli?
I mean, because you guys had bacon for breakfast, so I thought you guys are all just bunch of
fats, lobs.
Yeah, it's like their summer vacation, that's the whole point.
He's a douche.
So Amanda says that-
They're also, by the way, also, they're all in fantastic shape.
Why is he saying this?
When you've got Andrea, who is literally like an adonis,
you have Kyle and Carla in great shape.
And he's gonna act like, and also all the girls are like,
rail thin, and he's gonna act like they are just slot,
like these slot-only people who wouldn't even go
near broccoli, because they-
No, he's lucky they're all thin and in shape,
because you say that shit around me, you're gonna get some broccoli up your corn hole sir okay no one
talks broccoli me like that yeah fucking broccoli so everyone returns from the
brewery and Amanda makes a big show out of not hugging Kyle she's like you know
what I feel like I want to hug my uh I know she's like I was hoping that you'd hug him first and cause like I'm rejected. I'm gonna put on a wig
So then Sierra's like hey guys do you like crunchy asparagus or soft asparagus and carls like oh
Crunchyworks. Yeah, I love crunchy. By the way, okay, tell us barricus
God, it's really cool to meet you. And I'm like, really into you.
And, you know, I know we haven't had like a one-on-one conversation yet,
but like, I'm so glad we're having this time together as Barragus.
Thanks.
So, Paige calls Craig, her friend.
And says her friend.
And she's like, what are you doing tonight?
Like, going out.
Did you guys laugh a lot?
Because that's all that matters.
He's like, yeah.
Ha-ha-ha. Oh my God, you're so romantic. What do I do? What a command room?
This is what 29 should be I'm judging two hot guys. I'm juggling two hot guys
Well, I'm judging them to be honest
I'm judging I'm I'm juggling judging two guys. I'm actually judging. I'm not judging. I'm judging everyone
I forget which one is guilty of what I'm judging everyone but specifically two hot guys who I'm also juggling and like I have a hot
Italian guy making me midday pasta and then I have a southern gentleman being the cutest. I mean hello
Hi, Piscarol in America currently
Yeah, so then the fuse out on the table and
Carl's like whoa really big man of our
Fourth of July big it's huge. Oh, it's big day in America. Wow big July. Big. It's huge.
It's big Dan America.
It's a big day.
Day looks great by the way.
Looks great by the way.
So Kyle's like, the fourth is literally my favorite holiday.
Like, first of all, it's America's birthday.
Everyone's like, great.
Dan, you're gonna cry.
Come on, come on, come on.
Also, I forgot the other thing I was gonna say.
So Kyle, Carl sits in a chair and falls at bricks.
Yeah, that's what happens when you're six foot five.
Wow, wow, I just, I wanted to go a little slower
over the chair, I was really fast away, I fell down.
Yeah, wow.
That's like so old Carl, the way I just like
smash that new chair.
Old Carl would have just been like,
hey, I don't want to pick up the pieces
because I just like damage things and I leave.
But like, New Carl, just wants to make things better.
Yeah, New Carl.
So then it's party time, all of a sudden.
So now everybody's like parting and dancing
and Sierra's crawling on the table doing a sexy dance.
And Carl's like, hey, by the way, Sierra,
that dance you did on the table,
that was very impressive.
That was like pro.
That was like some pro moves you did right there.
Yeah, yeah.
Let me show you how I make my best.
By the way, I don't know if Carl and Sierra
could ever really work out based on their bedmaking situations.
Carl's whole, like, his new personality is that he makes his bed
and Sierra, well, Sierra's bed.
We haven't seen it this
season yet, but we all remember last year.
So, Paige and Andrea, and Andrea, God, I wish we'd read this Andrea because we have
a friend named Andrea. Paige and Andrea serve each other shots. They're like doing the
cross-armed shot thing. And I'm at his like, oh my God, you guys, is that what you're
doing on your wedding day? Kiss, kiss, kiss, it's just me cheering, but I'm like, oh my God, you guys, is that what you're doing on your wedding
bank kiss? Kiss? It's just me cheering, but I'm going to do it until you kiss.
And then Andreas, like all of a sudden, shirtless, actually just basically in his underwear,
giving like a lap dance. And, and then pages like, oh my God, that was like amazing.
Like, your move crag. But yeah, I don't know if I'm gonna see you drink doing a lap dance by the way. That's one thing we don'tg. Yeah, I don't know if I'm a super doing a lap dance, by the way.
That's one thing we don't need.
Yeah.
And good luck topping that lap dance when we have the amazing song.
A little party never killed.
No body.
A little party never killed.
No body.
I mean, they ran party and body.
It was hot.
It was like hot.
I'm the luckiest girl in America.
Yeah, it was my point.
Isn't it adorable?
I'm the luckiest. So then, it's my point isn't adorable. I'm a luckiest
So then so then the big drama of the first half hour
Is that Kyle sitting in a chair in the kitchen and Amanda standing in the kitchen and he slides back to be like
Yo, but he slides back and he hits her and he hits her he hits her foot and she's like
He hits her foot and she's like, Oh, fuck you, Kyle.
And now the drama begins.
And the music stops, and everyone stops dancing.
He's like, sorry, I was just trying to be funny.
It's like, you're not funny.
Go away, Kyle.
He's like, you're not fun.
By the way, he's wasted in a blonde wig.
So for someone trying to make up with his girlfriend,
who just got in trouble for being wasted
You've been wasted since 11 a.m
Like I get not wanting to change your basic ways
But this is like just a constant drunken fuck you
I might need to question yourself if you can't stop yourself even from like being lunch drunk, you know
I mean, it's very simple
I mean Amanda just has to stop expecting him to change and either decide if she wants to,
if that's what she wants or if she just wants something else.
And Kyle has to just think like,
maybe I should like do things to make my girlfriend happier.
And then I feel like it's solved.
That's all they have to do.
Right?
Oh, the grass is always green.
It's easy to solve it when you're not in it. I know. I know. I know
I know but I think it's so good at solving everybody else's problems. I know what you know what this is I think the thing is this though
This fighting is what they actually actually what they need is this fight. This is unfortunately part of what they like how they survive so
So he's so he's like, are you okay?
My foot fucking hurts.
Well, I'm sorry I hurt your foot.
He's like, oh, why don't you apologize for something?
No, she goes, wow, you finally apologize for something.
And he's like, what?
She's kind of, you do not notice that we even have a problem.
Like, I don't want to talk about it while we're here,
but we have a problem. You don't?'t want to talk about it while we're here, but we have a problem.
You don't?
Well, that might be one of the problems.
Yeah, you woke up everybody last night, broke shit
all over the house, everybody would be sure,
and you've moped around all fucking day about it.
Don't give me that.
I don't want to talk to anybody else
and ruin their time in the summer house.
Since when, lady?
I know, you guys are actively ruining everyone's time.
Like, just talk about it now, I'm fit and squashed because you guys will be fine I know you guys are actively ruining everyone's time. Like just talk about it now
I'm fit and squash it because you guys will be fine and you'll be fucking by tonight. Don't you want that?
So yeah, so she doesn't want to talk about this weekend
He's like is it our like is it our relationship like why don't you just call the wedding off?
You're drinking like I could be sober. I could be drunk. You're gonna hold it over my head forever
I'm fucking done with this shit. I'm done. So then outside, we don't really see him because he tries
to get off camera, but he's hiding behind a car or something talking to Danielle. And
he's like, I'm tired of her putting everything on me. Like she hasn't done anything for our
relationship. You know, like if she really wants to be inside my heart. She needs to like become like, I don't know.
Fucking beer or something, getting solid, wish even doing right now.
He's just crazy, do everything.
You do everything but not be fucking wasted all the time.
It's like a pretty simple thing.
No. And I can't even believe that I'm on a man to side right now.
I don't know. I keep going back and forth. I mean, look, listen, be wasted. Be wasted.
But answer your texts when you're wasted. Just answer or answer
the phone and be like, honey, I'm wasted. I know I'm wasted. I'm coming home. Just
like, don't worry. And just like, oh, just just like you know, it's gonna make her
go nuts. And the more she goes nuts, the more she's gonna call or whatever. Just
answer the phone. And then you can be wasted and then she'll feel okay and secure. and then everyone can know. No, no, I mean, I'm sorry to disagree, but
that's not how it works. He would call us and say, hey, Amanda, I'm still out. I'll be
home soon honey. You should be like, I always said you were going to do this anymore. We
are in the name. I just love. That's true. I mean, he knows. He knows what she's
answering his phone for a reason. But then she then also has to now, at this point, say that when he says, I'll be home
in an hour or whatever, she has to trust that though also.
So he has to answer the phone and she has to trust him when he says things.
That's Dr. Ben who is not a licensed or educated psychologist giving his take.
Yeah, I think he's not going to stop drinking and that's his kind of addiction or whatever.
And then her addiction is the drama and the victimhood because she is constantly. I mean,
who brings their parents into it to that extent where you're like, and then I call my mom
crying and so she sent me a car. She sent me a drink. Who does that? Who has their parents
involved at the point where you have a contract with your parents and the beyond?
I mean, she's obviously addicted to being a fucking victim too.
So I think she would leave Kyle and then just end up
with another mess she could complain and cry about
so she can get attention from her friends.
Yeah, well I think that,
like it's her way of getting a voice.
I think I said this last week.
I think that all the act of doing all that stuff
is that way she feels like it gives her empowerment,
I believe.
So anyway, Amanda is like, I don't think he realizes
I'm mad at him.
I'm like, I'm pretty sure he realizes.
But now, so Kyle's crying.
And he's crying to Danielle, who probably still is holding up
that door, mad overhead.
And then, she's like, just don't know.
It doesn't hurt.
Just keep wiping until it's off
because we can all smell it in the house. Yeah, just put your foot down harder. Wait, it's okay. I barely feel it
He's like we work together and we when we live together and she doesn't want to do either
And Danielle's like well, what do you want to do about this? He's like dude Danielle? I don't even know anymore
I'm literally miserable
I mean he's like drunk sobbing outside,
poor Danielle, like she's always stuck with these people.
So then, um, that's her role in life.
That's like her thing.
That's what she gets off on as being that one
who's always receiving person.
Welcome back.
So, um, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a savage.
I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm I'm I'm a savage. Of course like I'm going running after meditation
Right, it's such a sad I'm glad they played the song about them being a savage
Well, everyone's like waking up at a sensible hour on a Sunday morning
And Alex is eating protein
Savage drinks. He's savage. Wow savage ground turkey in the morning savage
So well, where else are we gonna be Kyle in Amanda's room?
So
He's like come on baby. She's like all I have a conversation with you when we're not in the house
I'm being respectful of you and everyone here
So they're gonna be having a party today
So they're gonna start getting ready and everything. And now we just start to see them just sort of in their morning activities on
Dramax page some coffee. She's like, um, it's a little cold. Okay. And then they're
just everything. Lindsay pops a bottle or she's like,
Happy morning. And they just see Amanda shuffling across the bedroom going
One long burbed huge burp and then Maya's like all I want is a nice breakfast sandwich God, I wish I had someone to cook it for me which is funny because my ex boyfriend asked you could cook me a breakfast
Oh, wait, you didn't even eat breakfast?
Alex asked and she's like no like we don't get up at six and work out.
She's like breakfast.
Now he's gone from breakfast shaming to breakfast,
timing shaming.
He's so annoying.
Now sleep shaming.
My God.
Come here, shoes.
Here comes one right now.
So Andrea has a spiel about, you know,
he just has a spiel about like, I'm excited to celebrate my verse for the July in the Hamptons, you know, I have normally like
for the July because it means European holidays about after, but it's the first summer I'm not doing European, not doing summer God, that would fuck my mom if it weren't weird. So then Maya is talking to Danielle about Robert because she's like, I think Robert might be here and Lizzie goes, oh my God, is it like a tall, like guy, like on a motorcycle with tattoos, maybe smoking and going, Lindsay, I can't wait that month your box No darn probably Robert then
So um so Danny all tells us how she thought that when she you know
She's been loving with Robert for like nine months and she thought that when she started dating him and falling in love with a chef
She was just gonna be fed all the time. Everything was gonna be wonderful,
but she's actually been ordering in
more than ever she ever thought she would be
because chefs keep the worst hours of the entire world.
So she's not getting all that food that she was hoping for.
Right, and so they have playful banter
where she'd bought some ran for vodka soda
and he's like, no.
And they're like, oh my God, I love you.
There's still not on that stage. So then set up, I love you. There's still on that stage.
So then set up for the parties here
is on Carl's shoulders and she's like squat Carl.
And he's like, yeah, I can do that.
She goes, yeah, you've got five so of steel.
Whoa.
Actually, you're very light.
Yeah, you're like pretty light.
Put your weight on me.
Put your weight on me.
Oh, it's my favorite thing in the world.
Put your weight on me, Sierra.
Yeah. You're basically light for a professional dancer cuz like that down to it. I know car
I'll just squat again. Just be quiet and squat. Oh
You look great by the way just thought though that one in there too. So then
Page laps a ball into the pool and then
So now the girls are just like talking and wondering like,
does Andrea know about Craig?
He has to know about Craig at this point.
Like, it's gonna be weird if Craig shows up.
Like, well, Andrea, be weird the rest of the summer
and Paige is like, here's my thing.
Not my problem, right?
Not my problem.
She's like, who cares?
You know what?
It's like really boring talking about two happy relationships.
So why don't we just talk about one miserable one?
Have you talked to Kyle yet Amanda?
And she's like, um, like he just doesn't seem to realize it's like a big issue to me.
And Sierra says, yeah, but like if I was a guy and I saw a micro-friend upset like that,
I would be like, I've got to change because I'm like triggering her.
Says the girl who is like hot to trot for Austin,
like good luck getting that response out of him
down the line.
Yeah, yeah, that says someone
with the most insensitive fucking guy.
I know.
So now Carl and Alex are talking about
working the grill and Carl's like,
oh, I like it faster, I like it faster,
I like it fast. I like it fast.
I'm gonna grow.
Yeah, I'm gonna grow.
What is the music?
How is the music lining up with anything today?
I know.
So my thing is that the girl is like a good central meeting place.
And like obviously I'm single.
And I think the girl could be a good place for me to like turn the heat up on intended.
Sorry, my, sorry.
So then everybody's getting ready for the party,
and Danielle and Lindsay are talking,
and Danielle's like, God, I really wish my boyfriend
was here more often, but I'm really happy he's here now.
And Lindsay's like, oh my God, I better cover up my antenna.
Ooh.
And Sierra's excited because she refers to Hampton's party.
And Maya feels like it's her coming out party
because it's like her first big party since she's been single
Yeah, she goes like welcome to single life and Sierra goes in this tone of voice
We're gonna make it like so fun
So then the party starts and she's like so many people like everyone on Dreyas on a microphone Let's go. Oh, which is funny because that's actually is literally Mario's life. Let's on a microphone let's go! which is funny because that's actually literally Mario's like
let's go!
and then let's go!
people are jumping cow coos
it's funny because Andrea is not really saying anything
it's just going
yeah here we are let's go!
cow coos that's our Italian roommate
I can't make out of thing he's saying
and then just like lots of quick cuts of things happening at this party.
You know, Kyle's just like telling a random person like, yeah,
I've been having a hard time.
I just need my jet fuel.
That's all my breakable.
Kyle's like the first one wasted crying that his girlfriend's always mad that he's
strong. I mean, this fucking guy.
I mean, some lady made the mistake of going, Hey, how are you?
Kyle is like terrible
Rough time, you know, I just woke up this morning. It's all gone awry like I'm not even excited to get married. God nothing's easy
Great thanks for having your party
Yeah, then over at the grill Carl's like, oh who wants a dog?
Hot dog that is I said today would be the grill guy. So I got to take to my duties. He look great by the way everyone. You look great. Y'all
So Alex is like wow, I mean look at Amanda. She's like eager McBever over there
Like she's really loose today and see her it's like, you know what?
You need to loosen up because like everyone thinks she look really uptight
I mean you wake up and you eat 10 pounds of meat for breakfast
He's like, I'm just uptight about eating.
Yeah, I'm working out.
Like when I eat, when I work out,
I'm like broccoli disrespect.
Yeah, I'm just like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha his friend he's like oh this is a bitch, oh she's a beautiful girl beautiful girl and then my
Mya then got to someone named Luca. She's like hi my name is Luca. She's oh my god. My dog's name is Buka as in Buka
Teenie the pasta. I know about food. You want to know why? Oh nice to meet you. I'll see you later
So Carl was some kind of our thing with what's her buns last year the last new
Curled that nobody would ever let her speak I think it's like the same running joke
It's like there's definitely like another show where we've done that we're like no well no it was on
It was on below dexaling with Colin how Colin would be like, man
I get it's like my girlfriend you know I had a boop down in Panama
But the thing is that like they's just like it's a pattern
with self-involved reality stars.
And there's often always someone who comes in
who just wants to share their story and their background
that everyone just ignores them completely.
Yeah.
So Carl goes up to Sierra, he's got some
fourth-age light cut case.
And he's like, go on, take one.
You're beautiful.
She's like, yeah, I gotta keep it tight.
So no, they're pretty though. And he's like, yeah, but you're looking good. You's like, go on, dig one, you're beautiful. She's like, yeah, I gotta keep it tight. So, no, they're pretty though.
And he's like, yeah, but you're looking good.
You're like, oh.
And she's like, that feels kind of in complete car.
I gotta be, by the way.
Okay, thank you, Carl.
Yeah, yeah, sorry.
I thought I didn't need to do the by the way,
because I thought it was just like,
thought it was coming strong that way, but that's good.
It's good.
So now Lindsay is trying really hard to be
like that fun girl at the party
She's like dancing by herself around the pool and going up to people like
It's all totally undermined when like the household like hires a boy scout to go like
Guideline Z from the pool to the front door.
Like there you go old lady, we can get you into the doorway.
I know. Some little kid just stands right in front of
Lindsay with the stop sign going, hold on, hold on children
crossing.
So then Amanda, Amanda is also being like very
performative. Like the how much fun I'm having not talking
to Kyle. Yes.
You're like dancing all around, dancing on the hot tub and stuff.
Mm-hmm.
And Kyle's moping around the house.
And then there's like, flip cup.
And then Andreas is like, I want not.
And he like picks up page.
And it's so funny because I noticed like, the way he picked up page, obviously they have
a relationship.
So I didn't think it was offensive or anything.
But I was like, he does seem to just sort of like pick up,
like not like he literally picks up women
and like is physical with women in a way
that I'm like, I don't feel like he can get away with that.
Like you should be careful,
because that could turn on him.
Little did I realize that that was gonna happen
later this episode.
So Alex is trying to flirt with this girl
and she's like, so yeah.
And he's like, yeah.
Well, like, because it's like funny, because I'm drinking, but I'm half Asian.
So when I drink, I turn really red.
I usually take digestive pills to help with it.
So what's your type?
And she's like, um, like, bear grills, like that type.
And he's like, okay, a lumberjack.
Okay, you're a powder donut, not for me.
Bye.
Yeah, yeah, he just walks back.
Cause she just says typically my type would be a Bear Grills.
And he's like, okay, and he walks away.
And I was like, damn, that's rude.
And pardon me, wondered like, was that like a joke
and then he came back.
And if so, then the producers really are doing him dirty.
But I actually believe that he just walked away.
So then, um, meanwhile, Daniella's decided that she wants to get mad about something.
So she's getting mad because Robert's still cooking food for everyone else, which is
what happens when you invite your friend, your boyfriend, who is a chef to come to a party
for 100 people and cook for them.
When there's 100 people to cook for, it's going to take a while to cook for 100 people. I know. She invited her boyfriend, who's a chef, and made him cook for the entire
party on his first basic. Well, I guess it's not his first time out there, but she said,
why aren't you spending more time with me, even though I gave you this job of catering
the entire party. Yeah. So she's like, Oh, so now you can pay attention to me. He's
like, I mean, I'm cooking. What do you want?
Because yeah, but like, I know, but I just want to spend more time with you.
And he's like, yeah, I'm busy and knowing that I may not even get time to come back at all.
Like, I mean, what the hell?
Well, I mean, the thing is that like,
she, so she doesn't eat seafood, which is why she's sort of annoyed.
But I'm like, Carla's making hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill. Did you not hear his whole spiel?
It's sort of like the place where you go.
There are central gathering place. So they're basically having like Danielle and Rob
basically have like a little uh, big, they bicker a little bit about the schedule because essentially
he can't commit to a schedule because he's a chef and he also I think is running a new kitchen
as crazy. And she wants a schedule and she doesn't think it's crazy. Like she's, she's like,
I don't think it's crazy for me
like a week out of time to be like,
hey, can you make it to this thing?
And he's like, sometimes I just don't know.
Like, I'm sorry.
So meanwhile, meanwhile, uh-huh.
Yeah, if you want to know what your life is going to turn out
like watch season two of Rollhouse Web's and New Jersey,
which I just watched and just watched poor sad Caroline Mantho.
She's like, please, can you take, you know, a day?
And he's like, no.
Okay, can you take, you know, can you retire?
He's like, no.
How about you?
Okay.
That's, I mean, and he's just in the catering business.
Yeah, she should just talk to, yeah.
She should just talk to Maya.
So, meanwhile, Carl is like, you know, Sierra walks by Carl and like removes her shirt. She walks by and I'm like, Sierra walks by Carl and removes her shirt,
she walks by and it's like,
oh my god, she took her shirt off,
just says she walked by, and he goes like,
yeah, I'm like the most charged door out of anybody I'd say.
And I don't know what makes her tick.
And it's a new sub-arrion, things are different,
and my life's different, and I'm open,
and I feel good about being sober,
and I'm in a good mood, and what I'm trying say is uh, God, she's looking great by the way.
Wow, she looks like she could be dancing.
Wow, she had my cupcake.
Wow, I'm being overlaid right now.
Oh my God, so many things happening for Carl right now.
So he does a three-way kiss between Amanda and Lindsay.
And then um, let's see, Lindsay meets some guys.
So she comes up to these guys and she's like, oh my god, hi, I'm
like, yeah. And he's like, yeah, hi, Lindsay. Like, I'm still Jake or whatever she is.
Oh, yeah. Well, like, we like, I make you like, like, 100 years ago. But I'm just
like, I'm trying to get to know everybody. You know what I mean? I'm like, I just want
to listen and join myself. And like, if I want to suck on a nipple, suck on a nipple, who cares?
Oh, so she's just like dancing around the pool by herself.
And then we're dancing and then people start pushing each other in the pool.
And I guess Andrea pushes a girl in the pool around this time, right?
No, not quite yet. So, I mean, it's coming.
So Maya is trying to flirt with this one guy,
but she's like, first of all, the guy looks like he's 12.
Second of all, her flirting skills are strange.
She's like, hey, when did you guys get here?
We'd been here for like an hour.
So, oh really?
Because I didn't see you.
They're like, okay.
She's like, yeah, she goes, I feel like that's not true.
Because I would have noticed you.
He's like, I mean, but it is. She goes, oh my god, I don't know how to flirt.
I don't know how to do that anymore.
I'm still in relationship mode, but you're like,
I have a feeling that's not true.
So do you want to tell me the truth?
Or are we just going to have a whole night of this?
What's next?
Oh, you're going to be appearing as a judge on top chef all-star.
So I'm so happy for you.
Is that what you're saying?
Because I don't know what you're talking about.
So then, I don't watch that show.
So then Alex is talking to a group of Lindsay's friends
and then Andrea is talking to Paige and he's like,
I'm so happy, we have a few of the memories.
And this is not out of alcohol.
I'm telling you, if you're happy, I'm happy.
And then girl comes up and puts her arm around.
And she's like, hi. And he's like, oh like oh hi and puts his arm around her and then walks he's like this is gilded
Ah, you know page. I just wanted you to know that's that's how I feel about you. Okay, gilder. Let's go
I'm like oh, I know pages like hi. I'm page the girl goes. I'm gilder. I'm pages like oh nice speed here
Oh, okay, well, I guess you are going to come and destroy my love triangle.
Gilda, great.
Love that.
Love that for us.
Love that brand for you, Gilda.
So then, so now Kyle is like, Kyle, it has like some lace, some little plastic lace,
and he keeps putting them onto Amanda and she keeps taking them off over and over again.
And then there's like more beer pong and craziness.
And Sierra is talking to Carl about being old
and about how one of the reasons why she moved to Atlanta
is now that she turned 25, the ripe old age of 25,
she was like, what am I doing with myself?
And she goes, and Carl goes, yeah, I mean,
like, you know what, she's an older soul.
Last summer, I met her and I literally was blown away
when she said she was 24 or 23.
Like, I don't think I've ever, ever, other than like me crying my eyes out and like being
in a tough place or had like a one on one with you, you know, except for all those one
of ones I don't remember. But like, let's just say I never had a one on one with you.
Let's have one of ones right now. Yeah, you look great by the way.
Hey, can I be honest? Since I saw you of the squirrel's gorgeous.
Like, because like for six years, like always getting to someone in the house, but like,
you know, I wasn't going to, but then I was like, why not?
You're single?
I'm single.
And she's like, well, but don't you need somebody sober?
Because that's my concern, you know?
Because I mean, I really don't know Drunk Kyle.
I mean, I'm sorry, Drunk Carl, because, oh, you know Drunk Kyle.
And it's just like, Kyle in a wig like, oh, yeah, you don't believe what she said to me.
So, Sierra is basically saying that she hit it off with Austin, but Austin essentially said,
like, he wasn't ready. So, no, she's like, Carl is looking like the whole fucking entree.
Maya's like, so funny about people who look like entrees, because when you actually meet someone
who looks like an entree and actually can cook it.
Yeah, I'm really excited.
I'm gonna fuck him so bad.
I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna fuck him.
So then now we're more pool throwing, more pool throwing, right?
So then Andrea throws somebody in and then he's like,
you can throw me in, throw me in.
But he's like gigantic, so someone just kind of pushes him.
He's like, oh! So he's in the him. He's like, oh, so he's
in the pool and page is like, Andrea, open your mouth, because she's going to like pour
some lover boy in his mouth. So he's like, goes up to page and has his head up and he's
ready to receive this lover boy. And this like Katy Perry girl comes out of nowhere and
just like slaps him in the face and just kicks him out of nowhere. She kicks him in the
face. She kicks him. She kicks him. She's on. Well, at first I thought she just kicked the water, but she actually kicked him in the face. She kicks him. What's your fucking shoes on? Well, first I thought she just kicked the water,
but she actually kicked him in the face.
So when she slaps, my thought it was kind of funny.
But with the kicking, I was like, oh wait, that's too much.
And then she's like, you fucking piece of shit.
And then you're an asshole.
And then pages like, oh my god.
Like, what?
This is like, this is like, you're at a party
and everyone's wearing a good ensemble. And then someone walks in and just like booty shorts. Like, this is like, you're at a party and like everyone's wearing like a good ensemble
and then like someone walks in and just like booty shorts. Like what is this?
He's like, I'm in shock. Is it because I threw her in the water? That was bad.
And then a girl, the girl's telling her friends like, oh my god, he did it with my phone.
That is like crazy. It's like, I'm a girl in a bikini at a pool party. Why would you think I wanted to be in a pool?
Yeah, but you can't I don't know his relationship to this girl
But like it looked very random and like you can't just be throwing random people into a pool and being like Ha ha ha ha ha goes in. She's um, yeah, I think it would be best if you guys go and one of them is like yeah
We already are don't worry just okay, then I'll bring you guys to the front door and you can let yourselves out
Thanks much get the fuck out
What a fight
Like she's like I have no problems yelling at a girl. Hey, um, I think you should go. Okay. Bye
Wow, that was so tense Please sign the guest book on your way out. Bye like, I have no problems yelling at a girl. Hey, um, I think you should go. Okay, bye.
Wow, that was so tense.
Please sign the guest book on your way out.
Bye.
It was brutal.
There was blood everywhere.
When I said, okay, I think you should go,
this is getting weird, you should go.
And they said, okay, we're gonna go.
Okay, thanks.
Bye.
See you next time.
My heart was racing.
It was so intense.
So then my aunt Sierra talking
and they're talking
about how Sierra was like obsessed with Carl,
she wants to fuck him.
And she's like, and he has this huge thing,
I already know it.
And then the girls are just like saying how Amanda
is like really letting loose and just like being drunk
having fun, but like she crucifies Kyle for doing
the same thing.
And then this, they, because this one girl
who just goes up to Kyle and goes,
I heard you were the funnest one here. And he goes, but not today. I'm having
a bad day. I want to more of that conversation. That was really funny. So then Paige goes
into bed with Andrea because he's under the covers. He's all sad. And so they have
a scene that's intercut with Danielle arguing with Robert because Danielle
is telling Maya, he comes up and she's like, oh, I was just telling Maya what you said earlier
and he goes, me?
She goes, yeah, because it was like kind of aggressive Robert.
She's like, okay, so you're literally talking about me saying you get negative when I'm
not around.
You're getting negative when I'm not around.
Like, too.
Yeah, so you're mad at, you're mad when I'm not around, but you're making some, I'm not around. So like, yeah, it's like you're mad at you're mad when I'm not around but you're making
seem I'm not the one who's getting mad you're the one who's getting mad at me and so he's
basically like don't like he's kind of like don't try to drag this drag me into one of these
like he doesn't want to have a reality reality show fight.
Yes and so if you're being ridiculous right now what's up with his is like Danielle.
Danielle's always trying to kind of be a part of everything right?
That's like her personality and poor thing is just always behind and now she's got a boyfriend
And she's gonna try and have her relationship fight on the show like all her friends have done it and he's like no
Yeah, he's like
So Andreas and bad with page and he's like oh for the first time in my life, I was experienced shocking, I couldn't speak, Paige's like, fuck that girl, which is exactly what I said with my eyes.
And Andreas like, I'm not an emotional person, I am the person who can keep
and feeling inside and suffer, I can suffer on the inside, like how I suffer when you just
disappear out of my life after so many nights for mountain memories.
you just disappeared out of my life after so many nights for mountain memories. I was like, okay, let's snack all. Did you just do that to get me in the bed?
It's like I wish, because you were kind of mean to me. And she's like, why do you feel
like I was mean to you? And it's like, well, not mean to me, but for me, the way I am in
the future, just be straight up. She goes, well, you know what? So when I met Craig, it was
like three years ago, and I had a boyfriend, and then in
a house, he had a girlfriend.
And then when we got out, he broke up with his girlfriend, and we started seeing each other
and talking, and it just made sense.
And it had nothing to do with you.
But I didn't stop talking to you because of him.
I just stopped talking to you because you didn't make sense in my life.
So don't take it personally.
You just don't fit in in any possible way.
That's what I'm trying to say.
I only talked to you because it was weird that breakfast lunch and dinner, you would just give me green greeting cards and say that you couldn't wait until I could
give you the same.
So it was really weird.
I like it.
Just started to freak me out.
So I hope that's okay.
He's like, you know about that.
What made me more than that.
Just cracked and tell you himself.
He's like, yes!
Yes!
And he's like, say, you know, you know,
because I walk to the house, and I was prepared
for walking and look at you, and I talked to you in three months.
And now, what was it going to be like seeing pageages?
You know what I said about page?
Three guilders for one page, right?
And then I saw you and I took
it back me to the one for month days and I can't be mad on her I can't be mad you're the tiniest
person I ever have sex with how could I be mad at you like you did you like a basic you basically
like a cock ring a batah human is tiny tiny tiny tiny person no she goes yeah remember that time
you stopped having sex with me and you were like you're the tiniest person I've ever had sex with.
That was hilarious.
Yes, yes, okay, I go to the bathroom now, okay.
So then,
and then she's like, by the way, I think you're done icing your forehead.
It's been like five hours.
You're gonna survive this.
So Sierra comes in and goes, don't take my blaze off.
So she does, she gets in bed with Paige
and then they start talking about Craig
and how he brought up Craig.
And Paige's like, oh my god, he's so hot,
he's so nice, God, I really don't know.
So here's like, well, you know the broccoli guy,
no one cares here.
Okay, hold on.
Okay, let me just relish this.
Next week on Summer House, let's see end.
Yeah, I did just sort of end.
So, always fun times the Summer House group
that I love to show, we'll always love it.
Thank you all for listening.
Thanks for watching.
We'll see a bunch of you guys in like two days,
which is so exciting.
And the rest of you will see all virtually online
at the on moment house. And then some of you will see New Jersey and some of you will see
Boston okay, I got to watch crap and I'll come for all the tickets and fun stuff and until then
We'll talk to you next time. Bye everyone
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