Watch What Crappens - SummerHouse: Dude, Where's My Carl?

Episode Date: March 19, 2020

Summer House is full of meltdowns. First there's Kyle and Amanda, whose relationship is melting into goo before our eyes. Then there's Lindsay and Carl, lovers-turned-exes whose friendship may never reach its pre-finger bang state. But at least Carl has Sarah from Barry's to help him rebound. Or does he? We recap all the madness on today's episode. Get tix to our live shows: http://watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker of the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island, which has new episode up on YouTube. Go check it out. It's really fun. And joining me is the hilarious and wonderful Arrani Karam of the Rose Prick Spatcher Rose podcast.

Hey, Ronnie, what's going on? Well, hello, Ben Tumano-Lino. Hi. I'm just podcasting with you very excitedly. We're going to be recapping a summer house today. And tonight, don't miss it. We are doing our quarantine live show. We were supposed to be doing a show tonight in Salt Lake City,

but unfortunately, we had to postpone that because of coronavirus. So we are still determined to do a live show. We are going to do it on Instagram live. Our Instagram live is at Watcher Crappens. You should follow us anyway. And that's going to be at 9 PM Eastern 6 PM Pacific. And we are going to be recapping the real house so as a New Jersey.

It'll be a live show, a live show for everyone. So come tune in for that. Distract yourselves for an hour and who knows how, maybe an hour and a half, who knows there's so much that could happen. And also, by the way, we've had to postpone our April shows in Charleston, Orlando, Madison and Oklahoma City. Your tickets will be honored once we find new dates for those shows. And if you can't make the new dates, you can get a refund at the point of purchase for your tickets

That's the big news. We also have a big bonus episode that we posted this week about love is blind Check that out at patreon.com slash watch or crap ends go get our merch go to watch crap ends.com for all that stuff And let's get into it. Let's get into some summer house. Okay, Ronnie. You want you up for that? Yeah, I'm down baby. Yeah, so this episode, I know I mean summer house, okay, Ronnie? You want it, you up for that? Yeah, I'm down, baby. Yeah, so this episode, I mean, summer house is so good. I can't believe how good summer house is. And last week was such a hilarious episode. And it ended with a cliffhanger, a quote unquote, cliffhanger of Carl and Luke get into a fight

because Luke said he asked Sarah out to go rock climbing. And Carl was like, you can't do that, bro. You can't do that. Like, what are you gonna ask? You go rock climbing? Like seriously like can't do that bro. You can't do that like what you're gonna ask guys to go rock climbing like seriously bro Oh Rock climbing what the hell bro your fifth venture. What was he saying? Dude you're a fifth lighter. You're a fucking fifth liner. I mean you're a bender you bet you bended guy

You're better you're fucking bend it guy You're a bender you're a stringer you're a stringer on a bender, you're a bent string, stringy bent bent. What the hell, what is this guy? Yeah, yeah. And Jordan's like, he's asking you about your intentions, the Sarah, sort of reminds me about the time when I found Sidney Portier and I said, what are your intentions with my best friend Elizabeth Taylor?

Yeah, it's like the Thomas Metmesis Garrett from Facts of Life and I had my penis inside your intentions with my best friend Elizabeth Taylor. Yeah, it's like the drama that Mrs. Gerrard from Facts of Life and I had my penis inside of her ear and I said, what are your intentions with Natalie? I'd love to put my penis in her ear and then Natalie came over and she sat on my nose and then I put my penis inside of two days here and then it went soft again. God, even though my fantasy is it goes soft, what the heck? It really reminds me of that time I was hanging out with Justine Beatman and I was like, Tudy's here and then it went soft again. God, even though my fantasies it goes soft. What the heck? It really reminds me of that time I was hanging out with Justine Bateman and I was like, are you really serious about Nick?

Because I want to get serious about you. So I'm going to put my penis in your hip and you're going to tell me how you like it until I get soft again. And Carl's like, why is he asking out Sarah when he's trying to finger Hala. I was like, what is it with this cast in fingering? Yeah, I don't think there was any expression of wanting to finger Hanna.

I think you're the one who's wanted to finger anyone. And you did it awkwardly without even kissing. What is that? So Carl's like, oh, hey, man, listen, listen, man, I brought you into this group. And now you're going to fight with my buddy. Come here, man. Like, yeah, you brought a into this group and now you're gonna fight with my buddy. Come here man. Look, yeah, you brought a hot male model into the house and you triggered Carl.

This is your fault, okay? And Carl's the one attacking Luke. You leave my poor little innocent Luke alone. He went deep sea fishing through ice. Yeah, I'm sorry, like bad news guys. Luke is generally well regarded by the audience. So you're gonna lose this one with the audience. For now, until Luke inevitably does something really

do she and then we all hate him. But for right now, he's doing surprisingly very well with us. So Carl's like, yeah, I mean, he's trying to fuck out and then DM a girl who would shoot met through me. Like, dude, I don't trust this guy at all. I'm like, you're Carl. Okay, Carl, you're Carl. Do you realize this is what you do to every woman every season?

Carl. So Carl, Carl pulls. Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl do you realize this is what you do to every woman every season Carl Carl Carl Carl Carl Carl Carl Carl Carl So Kyle pulls Lucas side and look is a cat a that Carol was beaten in C. I read I wasn't really clear on that one But if you know, I guess even if he was single I'd probably train Tater not gonna lie Luke I'm literally trying to be a mediator here as the Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha on a rock climbing date where you can look at our commuter and be like to the left and the left am I right? Am I right? Love a boy for sale soon. And Luke talks like a little boy. He gets in this little boy wine.

He's like, putting not 20 dude right now. No, I'm not trying to. I also like the idea of Kyle saying that Luke doesn't have the friendship and trust of Carl. Like Carl is some sacred you know, sacred, vaunted character who you must earn his trust. I mean, since when does anyone care about Carl's trust? He literally has no trust with anyone or anything in the world.

Not even his white pants trust him. But he's tall. So, um, Carl's like, come on, bro, we're going out. And looks like, well, I'm not going out. This is ridiculous I'm 10 talking about it, but guess what I bet that singing about it So please put down the guitar look okay Paper cup is not a guitar you should no, you're not strong. Please stop strumming that paper cup Thank you. We are closing guitar you should know you're not strong please stop strumming that paper cup thank you we are

closing so back with the girls struggling to have like the wackiest girl I'd they have a man is like I'm at a bottom bitch sorry I answered me on top of the pyramid come yeah and then he's like sometimes I'm a top bitch and sometimes I'm a bottom it sorry But of course we don't realize that they're talking about making a pyramid at first We just think they're trying to be gay men But they are making a pyramid and of course pages on top because that's pretty much how it always works out page ones up at the top of the pyramid I know I love I love that Even on girls night people are trying to insist they're not bottom

It's like it's an Andy Cohen pyramid. Yeah, pretty much I was like why would you ever want to read Carls underwear ever want to read Carl's underwear. That's disgusting. It's just like, think about these boys and then think about their underwear. And Paige has the best idea. She goes, let's pick in everyone's bathroom. That's what we should do.

Oh, they decide they're going to dress like the boys and they do. And so Danny, wait, what's her name? Danielle, sorry. Yeah, damn, I was like, who? Danielle is like, I'm Carl at night and you can be Carl in the day of page. And page goes, yeah, that's the plan. Stupid, it's stupid part time.

I had you enjoy the subway getting here. So, you wait, we have to find the tightest jeans that we can find, which again, not hard considering that Carl has jeans that are like normally made to fit a Playmobil toy, right? That he somehow squeezes into. Yeah, but he keeps wearing them. How have those white pants and the white shorts stayed? I mean, it's like season four, dude.

Do you? How's poor are you? Okay, I'm not poor shame you I'm job saving you get a real job you cannot keep wearing white jagging so you're not you'll want to foster Carl. Yeah I feel like Carl is probably dealing with this quarantine very easily he's doing exactly what he always does just sits at home and just like strums his body here. So they're imitating the boys and Lindsay comes in and Luke closed in his pirate clothes and so Hannah's like, oh my god, you're hot.

She's like, wait, Lindsay's gonna make out with me for the first time and so Lindsay jumps her and they do make out. And Hannah's like, that actually was hot. But Maldonam single, like I'm really ready to enjoy the real Luke. Yeah. And they're saying all sorts of funny things like Hannah's dressed as daytime Jordan at one point and she goes, Barry's, Barry's. And then Paige's daytime Carl is like, I promise I'm gonna text you, I promise, I promise I'll text you. And then

Jules dresses up as Kyle and goes, do you know that I change the flavor of lover boy? And then Paige's dressed up as Carl and goes, I lost my job 45 times, but it's not a big deal because you're hot, you're hot, you're hot. So then Amanda calls Carl wasted. And he's like, oh, hey, there was some master blowout with Carl and Luke's fucking nuts.

And she's like, I'm in, I'm in, I'm in, I'm in, when Luke, Luke I do, turning, I know I'm fine with Carl, Kyle. And he was like, yeah, he came at me real hard about some girl he's training to date. And Lue, he's just standing in the kitchen. She's like, she just walks out all the way to bed. She can't even enjoy girls, man. So then we have various things we're having.

Luke and Hannah start talking and he's like I'm not surprised he didn't work out with Armand Mainly because he seemed to be in the witness protection program and was not very well hidden because he was on camera a lot too So he probably got killed off. Oh well, that's too bad Yeah, it's like well I'm single now. So we're gonna make out. He's like I only date girls who have boyfriends Hey, and then Paige is doing that annoying thing where she calls Perry and goes, Hey, I just wanted to hear your voice. Okay.

No, I don't like that page. No, listen to your friend's voices instead. So Amanda gets Kyle's voice mail. She tries calling him again. And it's like, oh, hi, this is Kyle. Just changed the flavor to lover boy. All right, beep. And she's, he's like, oh my god, look, we see Kyle in the club.

Sorry, the show goes so fast. Kyle is in the club and he's talking to some blonde girl and he's like, oh my God, it's Leverboy, Hart T on the menu. Have them social. Yeah. And then Manda's leaving voicemails like, if you don't come home right now, Kyle, I'm leaving you for someone else and then she calls again

and again, and it's like 15 minutes. And then she's like, oh my God, if you don't come home right now, Kyle, I'm leaving you for someone else. And then she calls again and again, as like 15 calls, she's called 15 times. Then we see, he's like, party ain't party ain't lover boy, lover boy. It's like call 17, call 19. And then she calls, then she calls Carl. She's like, Carl, where the fuck is my fiance?

Carl, where is he? Where is he? Where is he? Luke is like, Amanda, is a hot person? I'm telling you this right now. Stop calling him. No, it's motion. He's cheating on me. He has something on me back in the jeet. It's on me.

Okay, is a hot person who also understands women? You're right. I think he's like, I get these DMs and take calls cheating on you and I sell them with this chick like all night and so fucking annoying. Would you like me to sing a guitar song that I can play on my guitar to you to make you feel better?

Okay, I'll take that as a yes. Blue Jays. Blue Jays flying in woods. They fly to the trees like me. Blue Jays flying In woods they fly To the trees like me does that feel you feel better now Amanda huh? I'm at a blue J once I go get your dick out of my song, please This is a soft rock alright get out of here. So Hannah's like oh, I just want to shake her and page like yeah If my boyfriend puts out drunk not answering my calls, I'm not a drag, alright? Get out of here. So Hannah's like, oh, I just want to shake her. And he's just like, yeah, if my boyfriend puts out drunk, not answering my calls, I would freak the fuck out. Alright.

And so they hear the boys coming home. And Kyle, of course, is like, starving. Every time he comes home, he has to binge, which is my favorite thing about Kyle, I have to say. Yeah. So he finds some cookies or something from Milk Bar and he goes, Milk Bar, what? And Amanda comes in and just like slaps his hand and grabs the Milk Bar stuff and puts it in the fridge

and goes, it's not yours. And he goes, oh. And she's like, why didn't you return my, he like drops his jaw on the ground. He's like, oh, I can't believe he's not getting to get that Milk Bar food. So, so she's like, why didn I can't believe he's not getting to get that milk bar food. So she's like, why don't you call me Marik?

And he's like, ah, well, we thought we're adding home. So you didn't text me to say we're coming home, Kyle. He goes, no, because that wasn't top of mind. So then she's, so then she's like, my fiance doesn't even pick up my phone calls and Upstairs Hannah's like what's all the back and forth like just say you're fucking sorry, okay? This isn't tennis back and forth tennis. Ratchet And Jordans like following cock Kyle around which is kind of fun Jordans like really struggling very hard to be like cool and it's kind of cute, you know, he's making an effort. So then Kyle and Amanda are just fighting all over the house, basically.

Yeah. And he's like, he's like, no sex. And now he's just talking to himself. He's like, no sex, no fucking love, no fucking anything. It's bullshit. I know you're working his own product. And what are you doing? Fucking not like ever since I get a Jason I'm sacks. I don't do anything. I'm a case demo Oh, I'm like bro bro come out alright and cause like I he's like I literally get

nothing wrong. I'm like you actually literally did something wrong. She was being crazy, but you know she gets crazy. So answer the fucking call or text her and say if you see that she's going she's drunk and she's feeling paranoid about something, text her and say, Hey, babe, I'm at the club. Can't call right now. We just did a deal. I'll hit you up in like 20 minutes or something like, I don't know. Like just say anything. So you did do something wrong because you knew she called you 30 times. Yeah. And cars like settle down. Fucking go to to bed. I was like says the guy who was just screaming fifth Bencher or whatever the hell and I'm like throwing your drink. Yeah, somebody wanted to go rock climbing with some fitness instructor

Exactly, so Amanda's now with kind of living room and she's like stop being such a child Which she says in like the most childlike way and he goes I don't want to talk to you get out my fucking face And she goes do you want to be single? Yeah, then I could have my own milk bar cookies Think you remember remember then tomorrow I'm kind of too not black out right now and I forgot Throws a pillow Annie tells her he passes it and he's like fuck you So fucking sick of this shit. Hand ups, he goes, he has anger management issues.

Because Hannah and Pedro just lying in bed listening to the whole fight. Like, I don't like this. Yeah, that's how it's like wrong. They're making a base like us if we were like sitting in a bed together running at the summer house. It's like us being a little calm and so they're basically like live podcasting their fight. Yeah, except I'd be brushing your hair Running what do you think about what they're saying to their I feel like I hear food. I'll be back. I just hear Carl chewing I'm like, I'm out of here. You come back with like an ice pack on your hand

You like Amanda slapped me away from the milk bar cookies. I back with like an ice pack on your hand you like Amanda slapped me away from the milk bar cookies. I did like that Amanda tried to take over the judgment balcony though. What Carl and Carl were talking downstairs she walked onto Steven's judgment balcony like I'm gonna judge you from up here. So then Hannah oh so Carl's naked now and he's just like walking around the room like fuck this fucking god damn it and Amanda's like I'm like I'm crying and bad Great path guys, just still on a great path And Jules is trying to have sex with Jordan and he's like Jules, no not now

She says that's annoying I can't get a rouse now I unfortunately blew my load earlier this evening when I was masturbating, thinking of memories of going down the Lesson River in France with Julia Ormond, my former girlfriend, and we had such a great time back then. I would say, let's go on the Gata Mouche, and she said, sure, and then I would have sex with her on a chair while drinking red wine from the Loire region of France. It was amazing. So they're playing this Peppy song and it manages to get out of bed and just looks at Kyle like,

then Luke and Kyle are in the kitchen and it's really awkward and Lindsey comes in and she's like, um, come on, you look like you're going to cry. I don't you all get it. Yeah, he's, he's like, I, come on, you look like you're gonna cry. I don't, you're okay. I don't know. Yeah, he's, he's like, yeah, I'm always in the wrong. So I'm gonna apologize for not taking the high road apparently. Um, like, yes, yes, you should.

And Kyle's like, I regret how things escalated, but I was so excited. I just, you know, got lover boy into Southampton social. I'm like, you got lover boy into Southampton social and you were excited. So why don't you want a textured boo about that? Why don't you want a texture, especially since she's also on your team?

Shouldn't you let her know? Hey, great news. We got into Southampton social. Like that's a really, that's like a ball of excuses. That's the worst one. That's even more reason why you should reach out to Amanda. Oh God, how can you get this fired up? Like break up, just break up.

You two are annoying. It's been four years of this. Just break up. I can't take it for the sake of your future children. Just divorce now. Please, please. But so Kyle's like you basically says he was ignoring his phone because he was pushing the product and she was you know, it's annoying knowing the shit out of him the entire night. So She was, you know, annoying the shit out of him the entire night. So, like, so that means you did see the messages, which meant that you could have texted. You're, it's like, either you're away from your phone, which is why you didn't respond, or she was annoying the shit out of you with all her messages, so you were by your phone. So, one of those. Yeah, I probably saw 29 calls and was like, oh, fuck that.

Like, I mean, I'm not, I'm not going to go home. I'm not going to fight, you know? Yeah. calls and was like, oh fuck that. I mean, I'm not, I'm not going to go home. I'm not going to fight. You know, so then Luke is in the kitchen with Lindsay and, uh, and yeah, she, she's like, when is Carol? He's like, uh, I don't know. Maybe, when out, she's like, um, maybe you got a berries. He's like, why aren't you going? And he's like, well, I figured I shouldn't go, because they probably get accused of hitting on a girl or something so I was like fuck it. And so Carl comes in and she's like oh berries. Oh, give me the berries. Yeah, he's like I'm still pissed at Luke for hitting on a girl that I'm clearly pursuing. I mean why the hell does he not understand that that's like not okay to do.

It's like not cool of him to pursue a girl that I'm pursuing while I'm dating another girl. That's like totally not cool So then Lindsay is talking to Danielle and she's saying oh, I'm so happy We're down to me when I woke up and Danielle's like oh, there's daytime Carl and like I love you both But like I'm glad you tried it out and like it didn't work So that was great for me work that great for me And daytime Carl is basically Carl walking by the pool with a towel wrapped around his neck. And, hey, did you see my new scarf? Yeah. Yeah, I got a new scarf. Yeah. Celebrity beef. You never know if you're just just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter

or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows.

It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this esteemed jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder-y-up. Watch what crap-ins would like to think it's premium sponsors! Just saying okay!

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And she ain't no shrinking violet kuchar. We love you guys. Hand is in her room with Paige. And she's like, um, let me show you the secret to grade ops. And she's just like slattering makeup on her abs. So yeah, so Lindsey is like very determined to have a great day today. It's gonna be a great, great day because she's just starting to separate friendship and romance with Carl. And today is gonna be great.

Yeah, which is gonna be great. She's like pointing in the mirror with Danielle. Is this that part? No, this is just them by the pool. Just saying that I mean, it's hard to tell things. They're all over this house so then Kyle and Amanda are talking and cause like Amanda I say things that I regret when I'm you did like your guacamole sucks. So I'm sorry I just think come So then Luke comes at Helen Page,

talking about what a disaster that relationship is. And Luke comes in, he's like, oh, you want to go in the bank, can I? I'm just like, ya. And Page is like, oh, well, I guess that our conversation is over now. So thanks for that. And he's like, you want to come, little one? She's like, now. And he's like, come on.

I'm like, now. And she just stares in with a dirty look. And she tells us, Luke knows he's good-looking. And, too, he knows he's like, come on. I'm like, now, and she just stares in with a dirty lick and she tells us Luke knows he's good looking and two He knows he's charming Fatties a deadly combination. You should always date a guy that's partially balls You can hold it over his head and he'll do whatever you want. Perry I'm just thinking about you and your cute balls, but okay, I'll be home soon. Yes. I just want to hear the sound of your voice Okay, great. Oh for a moment. I, I just want to hear the sound of your voice. Okay, great.

Oh, for a moment, I thought that was a goose, but it's your voice. You know what else is deadly combination? This belt and V-shoes, which I found in a dumpster behind a Jones Pat Breck. What a waste of an Insta. So, Hannah and Luke get on the motorcycle because they're all going to lunch.

So, Hannah and Luke are on the motorcycle and in the car, everyone else is driving and Carl's like, I think motorcycles are dangerous. So, yeah. Putting on the right track. So jealous. He's so jealous. So, they all get to the restaurant and Amanda's sitting with the girls instead of Carl. He's like, you're okay without me, Amanda.

I'm just like, um, young. And Paige says, it's fine, she has me. So then we order. I can't believe these people eat like this. How do these monsters eat steak tacos? Cheese quesadillas and still look like they do. Because they go to bar is bro. So yeah, that's where local people go to bar is, you know,

because it's something you've got my workout on and see, get my, I want to get the simply PB shake again Please thank you. Oh, thank you. So So yeah Luke shows up Luke and Hannah shows up Luke is all sweaty because he's been running his motorcycle in the middle of summer So he's like a sweaty mess at the restaurant, which is not a great look Although I mean, he knows a model so he can do anything but They're asking him how fast they went and Hannah's like well, I could tell that he wants to go faster But I was like take it slowly, baby take it slowly and pages like sounds like your guys' relationship

Zing Zing, hey Perry I zanged Perry and Carl's like oh so Have you kissed have you kissed the guy who has a no reward for your safety? Have you done that yeah? Yeah, what was that like when the guy that you thought was awesome tried to kill you today on a motorcycle Have you kissed him because of that? Yeah, yeah, not jealous Not jealous at all and just like well, I had or jewels. Do I say jewels? Yeah, I have to say it like girls night But fun like Amanda we made some progress and

like Amanda we made some progress in our relationship and Amanda's like um yeah Trace was a really fun game that set me to a spiral and made me think my boyfriend was cheating on me which is why I called them 20 nap times and freaked yeah Amanda I just I just want to say I feel like we made so much progress or a friendship like for instance when he said you would

choose me to die in a burning building because you don't trust me, that was great. I felt like I really, we got so much closer, so much closer when he said that. I was going to get you a gift, but the story went, you didn't take Apple Pay. So here, have some invisible jewelry. So Lindsay gets up to go pee and Kyle's like, all car. All right, Carl. What's up with Sarah? Did you make out or like is it straight for the V? Are you gonna make out whether it's a straight for the V and Carl's like, oh, I mean, she's smoking hot. She's single.

And then he goes, who? And he's like, oh, the Barry straighter. I'm trying to get her to like come next weekend. Like, we can go rock climbing. Like, we can go rock climbing. Yeah, we can go rock climbing. Yeah, yeah, all I gotta say is, I've lubed up my finger, that's what I'm saying. And Paige is like, every time I think Carl is gonna come out on top and prove everyone wrong, he just does another Carl thing.

He's just like so Carl, Carl's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh or So then the thing is that so after the dumb of lunch they sort of like go there's like yes an like a backyard area of this place Where they're just like hanging out and drinking so Paige goes up to Lindsay and asks how things are with Carl And Lindsay's like, I'm ready to make her Big may heart and she's like, oh, that's great. So um just so you know Carl is playing and invite that Sarah girl to come to the house next weekend And I guess maybe she's gonna be making a simply PB shake. I don't know. I wasn't really sure about what he was talking about They bring a girl into the house the week after You better hide the night

She's like call me crazy a bit of this girl comes in on my house It's gonna be like a red rubber red rubber Sarah come over, and I'm not gonna be pretty. I was like, that makes no sense. Fuck. And all of them's over, it's gonna be like, capture the flying, with electricity, and it's gonna be bad. Of course, Lindsay played violent red rover. Like red rover, red rover, let's Sarah come over, and Sarah comes over and she just punches her in the face. Yeah I hated that game by the way

So violent is so violent and it's so creepy and mean Yeah, what's it mean? I don't remember because it's like let's like Explosive line some people's they can't join our side of the side So then Carl is so meanwhile over on the side, cause page and lens zero and like one area and Carl is over in another area and Carl goes, oh everyone, this is a classic Carl Radke speech. So everyone got the wrong.

Yeah. Yeah, cause a Carl Radke speech. Hey, we've been working hard all week. I'm like trying to make a toast, like a literal toast because I've had too many pancakes so I'm trying to move on to test. Can you just stop and go? Just do it! What's the problem? What is the problem?

Like literally like everyone's trying to have everyone's having a good time, more life and you obviously have something to talk about. So yeah. Um, you're inviting girls without sex breakouts? Yeah, I'm not sure why you have a problem with that. Um, because you're the one, I know that. I like all that's a mineral and that's... And I tried, I tried, I tried. I was just like me, I was being carol, me.

Just trying to be me, I was like, not my bingo's gonna be okay with that, and then you ask her, I'll ride and run to me, and then you invite this girl to the house, fuck you, fuck you, you fucking ass. Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay. And then you invite those girls to the house and fuck you, fuck you. You fucking ass. Lindsay. Lindsay.

Lindsay. Then we go to commercial and we come back. We get a close up of a sign that says tacos and points. Sounds about right with these two. It's like a bunch of flappy tortillas chatting. So it's like Lindsay. And she's like, you don't think my feelings are for fucking Ariel? And my feelings are for real too.

I'm very real too. I like mine are real too. Oh, we're gonna be okay, but I think we're gonna be okay. We're gonna be all right. We're gonna be all right. Yeah, that smile on his face, like more life, more life. Like, every day's be good. It's be fine, you're reacting.

I'm you're crazy, you're a crazy woman. I'm gonna gaslight you right now. It's okay. Yeah, he has that smile, like that stupid smile with his tongue bent, like he's holding water in his tongue, you know, like cupping water in his tongue. Yeah. And it's like, you know what I'm gonna respect me?

And you're gonna like slap me in the face so you're gonna activate me, all right? He's like, what? What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, One more life, seriously like at least I'm not a third stringer like Luke over there are like The bottom becker below decker fanable rules, right? You know that grows and balls I've three of them trust me So then she's just like a lot so they go back to the house and like page goes upstairs to talk to parish

She's like, um, I'm just like resting for a second. How is today he goes? It was fun, but I missed you. Wow, sparks. I mean, this is what the chemistry just off the charts with these two. I know. And Paige is like, it's hard, but I'm trying to like, balance my friends and my boyfriend,

but I'm happy. And that's all that really matters. Ha. Because I found this dress for $5.00 at EGMAX, and it looks great. So I'm at the top of the pyramid still. And then Jordan and Jewels are like in the bedroom and Jordan's like, Jewels, don't you go into that bed, don't you dare go into that bed. Oh god, story of their life. So then Lindsay comes home and Amanda's like,

are you on K-Linley? What's wrong? And they go into the closet for Lindsay to cry, and they've intelligently put a camera in the closet now, so Lindsay can no longer hide from it. By the way, she chooses a different closet every episode now. She is really just trying them all out. She's like, we'll do lots. So she's crying about Carl. Oh, just like, hard.

I just feel like we're all getting back together, and then like, everything I'm getting back, I like being like friends, and then like, I trigger,igger and uh, and they like cut to Carl in the living room with a shirt off doing some crazy like dance Where is like it's like leg is going up or his knee? It's like some Spastic shirtless Carl dance. I'm like is this the person you're literally crying over right now Lindsay? Yeah, so then he comes Carl goes into the kitchen with Hannah and Luke and Hannah's like, oh you good He's like oh yeah, she goes uh you always say you're good like nothing happened What do you want to say? Oh

I'm like, so she wanted drink he goes I'm good So Luke is like you know as much as I want to be fuck you to fuck you to the dude I like Carl, you know, and he just needs to chill be fuck you to the dude, I like Carl, you know, and he just needs to chill the fuck out. Plus, he's like really not in my league, so what's the point of punching down, am I right? So we're gonna have a chat. So Luke and Carl, they have a, they, they go sit down out by the pool with drinks and Luke's like, so I clearly upset you with the whole Sarah thing on account of me being

a male model and you just being tall and hairy. So, I, you know know I feel bad about that. Look buddy you know here's what they want. I'm not taking around a date you can look at my text they're harmless okay. Here's Michael in this whole thing. It's better for me to hang out with someone who's older and hairier. Alright so whatever I need to do to smooth this over just let me know. Well here's the thing I like don't trust you at all like office of the whole panor thing. I'm very protective of Hannah That's a new thing that I developed last episode. I suddenly am protective of Hannah She's like my little sister even though I don't actually socialize with it that much on the show

But I'm very protective of her. Um, I won't let anyone think her banger unless it's gonna be me so That's what I mean. There was like the berries girl Sarah like that So look we were on the same page. I like I Could be far like Like I like to get punchy and like I like to see mean things because that's fun Yeah, yeah, that's me being fun. Yeah comes in a good place comes a good a good unemployed place, you know Comes in a good place comes a good a good unemployed place, you know Looks like well, we should be on the same team. I rate I'm gonna be in the fox or with you. I don't want to fight you Here we go, all right

Will you or will you not be my friends, Joey? I think maybe around this point Carl's realizing that having someone like Luke as a potential wingman is could be really beneficial So he's like yeah, yeah more like friends friends friends, friends for it, friends for the end, I'm protective of him all the sudden, yeah. So the girls are talking about how Lindsay was crying and stuff like that in the closet. And then Kyle's walking around and Lindsay's dad wig. He's like, yeah, I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm dead. Love her boy. Love her boy. And so, uh, so Amanda, how are you and Kyle doing? And Amanda's like, um, are we not good?

And everybody laughs at her because like she just stayed up all night fighting with her boyfriend again. And she's like, I mean, I know it's like not I know, but like, and Kyle comes in just then as dev and she's like, um, Kyle, could you leave? Go eat something. He's like, oh, man. So then I think she leaves then, because he won't leave, so she leaves and he's like, ah, so they both sort of like exit and pages like,

I just wish she could say that she's unhappy because she's unhappy. Probably because her ensemble looks like she paid about $60 too much for it, am I right? Dress for less. Yeah. So then Kyle goes down to the kitchen with the man. This is this whole fucking show. This has got to stop you too. I'm bored.

I'm like, I'm officially bored. Please break up. Please break up. So he follows her and he's like, All right, Amanda, I'm very sorry. Could I have called you? Yes, I could have called you. She goes, Oh, but last night when you said I'm not wanting to meet you. No, why would you think that? He's like, well, last night I bought over, I got freaked out and I said mean things like sometimes I feel like 90% of the fights could be alleviated when you get things done when they're supposed to be done like and so he starts going on This whole thing again about how Amanda is she's the head of content

But she hasn't posted anything on Instagram for a month with lover boy She's not pulling her weight around the apartment, but with lover boy or the wedding, whatever. And so she's like, listen, I have a full-time job, and I just can't do lover boy on top of the full-time job. So then Kyle's like, well, that's why I want you to quit. And I was thinking, finally, she quits lover boy and she just focuses on her work and they can separate work from their relationship and thinks it'd be better.

But then it becomes very clear that he's like, no, quit your full-time job and be full-time content creator for me. On my fledgling startup, that you already are not doing any work for. So just double down on that and let's make our relationship even worse because all our stress is coming from our, like, the of our our our relationship and work mixed together. So let's make that even more intense. Yeah, sounds great great idea. And she's like I know him asking me to leave my full time job is me putting everything in and he just said he wanted to be single. So could you two okay the only thing that can be worse than this is Luke playing guitar so Luke Cantor Luke Oh guitar time yeah

So this time is you're annoying hold maybe you're right? So Luke takes this guitar outside and he literally this is the lyrics he comes out comes up with oh yeah KyoD is hailing over there up with. Oh yeah, Coyote's hellin over there. Fuck you, I don't care. It's getting married to stand God. Please help him. And then the Hannah just sits on his lap so he can't play anymore. He's like, are you trained and make out with me or step the guitar? She's like, oh, just let's make out already. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing.

That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing.

That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing.

That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm a pile of baked beans. It was hot and spicy, much like the beans themselves. But... Fun effect now. No, Jules, God! I was telling my baked bean story. So then Hannah is, she runs her page. She's like, oh, kiss Luke.

And Paige is like, ah! Something's not mad. And then Lindsay is talking to Jules. And Jules is like, you look. And then Lindsay is talking to Jules and Jules is like, you look so good, Lindsay. And this is like, oh my god, we look good. Time's 10, because you're fucking good. Like, we're fucking good.

We look good, we look good, we look good, and we look at yourself in the mirror. And those guys, we are hot hose. Yeah. So, speaking of hot hose, there reminds me of one time I was hanging out with Ken Beesinger. It's like enough Jordan enough. Yeah, shut up Jordan. So now they go out to the hedge club and they party and they dance. It's all fun. And then they're back at the house at like 1 a.m. and Carl gets into bed.

They keep cutting the car being in bed. They're like, I'm just, you know, I'm just like Carl 5.0, just wants to go to sleep right now, you know? So he gets into bed, but everyone else is partying. Luke and Hannah are hanging out in the backyard and they start making out basically by the grill.

The most romantic corner of the house is right by that grill. And then Jordan and Jules are skinny dipping, I think, or they're at least in the pool. I think they, what as well as they let's get naked in the pool. I don't know if they actually make any. Yeah, they can eat dip and make out. And um, Kyle's in the fridge eating and he's like, dude, I'm just trying to eat to live my life. All right. He's talking to himself some more. And then the man in the page are in bed and they're giggling. They're just like having fun time and Kyle comes into the room and goes, babe, we're all dancing and you're like, let's just be introverts losers. Burn.

So then it's time to go to sleep and Luke has to go to bed again alone. alone, you know, Amanda, Hannah leaves him. And then Jordan and Jules are still in the pool making out. And Jules is like, when that's sex in the pool. And he's like, I'm done. I'm done. Very traumatic experience on the set of splash with Darryl Hannah. She was practicing to be a mermaid and I said, I could help you with that. Needless to say, things went down here very quickly and I can no longer have sex and water. She's like, he still can't park the car in the garage. I'm just confused at this point. What do you confuse about? You were someone with a reptile dysfunction. You can't date someone with a reptile dysfunction that'd be shocked that their dick doesn't work. Yeah. Exactly. Especially when they're on camera and like people are watching them So then page in Hannah get up the next morning and pages so long When page wakes up, I don't think page realize what was happening because she wakes up and she's still in her clothes from last night Which means that she was like maybe like just really drunk

So she wakes up and then she looks at Hannah like what are you doing here? Why are you here? Am I in a department? Oh my god, I'm in Manhattan. You're are you here, am I in a hand apartment? Oh my god, I'm in a hand, you're not Perry, where am I, what's happening? And Hannah's like, you're in your clothes for most nights, stupid! So then Jordan kisses Jules, he's like, I love you. I love you. He's like, what did you just say?

He's like, I'm in, I hate you, I hate you. Hey, remember that time when I said, I hate you two seconds ago? Because that totally happened It's opposites to hey So Hannah and Luke are talking and He's like god netlain. I'm still drunk. Like oh that's what happens when you over and told him alcohol And even though you're a hot piece of meat. I'm not gonna take advantage of you when you're drunk

He's like thanks so much. I wrote a song about it. It goes like this. There's a fox in the city. And it just got run over the sadness. Kayo, it is in the ear. Am I right? So then Danielle tells Lindsay they're getting dressed to go out and she goes, um, I hate that dress, Lindsay. Can you return that? I want to go. and she goes um I hate that dress lentic you return that let's go do the last one the moment

look I get triggered by Carl okay because he like there's how to pitch your buttons and like you wanted to put yourself through it and here we are you putting yourself through it so god you're basically like a train that runs on time. Okay. Fucking annoying. He pushes my buttons, which is why I always get activated because I have so many activation buttons. Oh, you do not want to see me activated.

So... So Kyle tells Carl, dude, we missed you last night. And girl's like, oh, I'm like at my capacity with Lindsay. So, like, I love the group. Okay. Because like, I get the asking her out at berries asking Sarah out at berries within the most respectful thing bro, but I Do like Sarah and I want to continue to follow that so here's some more examples of Carl bullshit Okay, he's saying that he went to sleep early because he had his capacity with Lindsay, which is that he is

It's a subtle way of kind of like turning everyone against Lindsay. Like, oh, we're having so much fun. Oh, but Lindsay was, it's like Lindsay was, Lindsay was ruining it because she was making Carl go to sleep early, right? Like he's kind of like blaming his behavior on Lindsay and now saying it. So that way the group kind of turns against Lindsay. And then he's also being like, he's doing this stupid earnest thing that he likes to do where he's like, I know it wasn't respectful, but I wanna continue to follow that. Like, you know, almost as if like, if he didn't ask Sarah out,

he'd be depriving himself of like emotional growth. And that's all a lie, it's all a lie. Yes, it's Carl. It's like, it's Carl and Coria. Like it should have been like asking, like I know that asking Sarah out at that moment might not have been the most respectful thing. Period. Not like, but I do like Sarah and I was like, period. It was the most disrespectful thing you could do at that moment. Yes.

Yeah, and then of course Kyle is also in the same boat of never learning a fucking thing. He's like, yeah, well, man, and I had a good chat too. Like, you know, we had a lot of points of contention with her doing nothing and meeting any more around the house and so you know she's gonna be stuck in my house now working with me full time it's gonna solve everything. Yeah that'll be the best thing ever for our relationship I'm like mmm good luck. So now it's time to pack for the city which means we get some tricky monocle doing some classic. Turn it up now. Hey, turn it up now. Uh-oh. But almost grown up.

We're almost grown up. We're moving our way to Saada brand new day. Like they're 40, okay? They're grown up. They're officially grown up, Trixi. K-Young Trixi.

So, it's like Monday. We see Paige in a car with Perry, and she's like, my very own personal Uber driver. Yeah. That's right. He's like, put your seatbelt on. Just like, oh, dad. And then Jules is taking a picture of a lady,

and she's like, this is perfect. We're going to use this for Instagram. Now we just have to start up an Instagram account. Great. Then at Kyle and Amanda's apartment, he's like cutting tomatoes and making a steak. And she's like, how long? And he's chosen the loudest dinner prep of all time. Everything is like sizzling and popping on the stove. It's like, he's like, so amanda, manna.

You know the sound department was like, fuck this guy for sizzling a steak at this moment. Yeah. He's like, you're glad you're going to marry someone who actually knows how to cook. It's like, you have a jar of mayonnaise out, sir, while you're making a steak. I'm not sure about this. I'm actually not. I feel like there's, there could be something very interesting with that.

They're not. It's not because they sit, they eat and then they both look at it for a long time for us and they're like, huh. So Kyle's like, yeah, my last name is Cook, like I literally know how to cook. So, he's like, so here's what I was thinking about with the wedding. Okay. I really like Cool Flow, like Sarah Molley cocktail reception, wait for it, it after party and so like you really like take your guests on this journey and so like I say do away with the sign seating let's have pure chaos

she's like oh let's talk to my parents about it Kyle oh me oh like I don't know how they feel about people sitting wherever they want Kyle. Amanda I wonder how you feel. Now your parents feel. But they're paying Kyle. They're paying for the wedding Kyle. So are my parents. So my, listen, if you're not stuck at a table, it's a game changer. It's a game changer.

Don't look, I know that like I just don't, I don't know because like I don't want to move forward with something I've not done and it's not something I've imagined. Like, he just like, I just want credit, okay. Like, I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to say one thing, can you bear with me? Like, I just want you to say, let's do it, let's do it. I have this great idea to that will totally revolutionize weddings, okay? No sign seats.

He's like, no. So then, Carl shows up at Garden Bar. He's like, have a glass of rosé. As we double, make it a double. I'm like, a glass of Sauvignon Blanc. I have a glass of Sauvignon Blanc and a double glass of rosé. I'm like, sir, that's fine. But could you please stop spinning all over this bar?

Carl must be doing a very, having a very difficult time. During this, like, please don't transmit bodily fluids time in her lives right now. I was like, what? I'm like, I've actually reduced my spitting down to like 45%, it's really amazing, it's great. Yeah. So now we get to see his date with Sarah.

Yeah, and it's like, wow, Carl really ups himself. Like he can fuck this up in five seconds. It's amazing. So she comes in and she's like, I'm tired and he goes, you don't look tired. And I just wrote, she really does. She looks exhausted and she looks like it's 20 degrees outside. She has blue lips. Like what is wrong with her?

What's wrong with Sarah? And someone helped her. And he's telling us, he's like, well, I have some post lunatic stress disorder. And I just like, I just want to take things slow no matter who it is You know, so like I was like, so I was like, he tells her I was like, there's no way this girl would ever give me a chance To go on a date with her and then you did so like I'm just like sweet sweet car. I'll just like your best sweet friend boyfriend Right like just a sweet guy. I could just so, never think that you would ever take me out of day.

Like I can't believe it, I'm nervous. My arms are going to be about, yeah. By the way, you just bought me two glasses of Jose and a glass of Sauvignon Blanc. Would you like to put something else on your check? Cool. Yeah, just want you to know, this is, I feel a little nervous because normally,

I'm used to a pancake date and so it's weird to be out at Pasta 10 a.m. on a date. So you know, it's cool, it's to a pancake date and so it's weird to be out at pasta, to nae, I'm on a date. So you know, it's cool, it's cool, it's cool, it's cool. So then we cut to Lindsay who's on a date with a cheese ball of her own named Steven. He's like, oh, hey. I'm like chunky modern Fisher Stevens.

I'm chunky mind Fisher Stevens with Ryan Cabrera's old hair. He's like, yeah, remember that hairstyle from 2004? That was cool for a second. I'm keeping it alive. I'm literally saying things like, hmm, you're being, not my girlfriend being like, I only like sweet men, not sweet men.

I'm nailed it. So we go back to Carl and he's like, oh, I want to know more about what makes you tick so. She's like, well, I really want a partner in life. Like, you know, partner and crime, we could do things together and he's like, so I want to know more about what makes you tick so. She's like, well, I really want a partner in life like, you know, partner in crime, we could do things together and he goes like, yeah, yeah, I want my relationship to be easy. Like, the longest relationship I've had has been less than a year, right? So it doesn't reflect on me at all. It's like, yeah, like when I show interest, it's like zero to a hundred and sixty seconds like in two months

I'm supposed to be dating you and she goes oh so you don't see us dating in two months And he's like oh No, I do I do like pancakes like so many pancakes more life like I just just have fun. Let's have fun And she's like so are we not dating now? He's like oh She's like, so are we not dating now? He's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, bro. I feel like what the huge, what a huge, huge, huge. By the way, it's not a crazy thing that after two months, you start to become exclusive.

I'm sorry, like two months is a totally like appropriate on schedule time to become exclusive with someone. So for him to be like, you know, like it's crazy. Everyone's like, within two months, I'm supposed to be like exclusive with you. I was like, yeah, that's pretty standard, Carl. And now, like when she said, so you don't see us dating in two months,

he goes, I do see us trying to date in two months. Trying to date, do you believe that? God, what a poor, poor, poor person. So Lindsay is playing darts now with her guy, Steven. And he's like, so what was intriguing God, what a poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, I thought that guy is hard and he's like emotionally in tune And I mean people's out of my level, but like you put it out there like I put it out there the fuck yeah blow my dart Yeah, yeah, she like blow and blow and he's and then like he's like okay, but I want you to blow mine Okay, and then she like he like hits a bullseye cuz And then just starts making that with him like crazy.

That's my blow. That's my blow. That's my blow. So Carl is like, I want another date with you. He's like, yeah. And they make up. So when we cut back to Carl. Yeah, and he's like, oh, so I don't want to make it, I don't want to make it feel like we're putting on the

hospital going a hundred miles per hour. But I do want to invite you out to the summer house like next weekend. I'm like, here's the problem, Carl. You're always saying how you don't want to go fast. You don't want to go fast, but then you invite these women over for an entire weekend at your house, the Hamptons. That is literally the definition of going zero to a hundred. Yeah, but he's already told her apparently.

She goes, we've been, well, we initially talked about this weekend. So why are you being hesitant? Because I guess he was going to take her this weekend. Yeah. And instead of, he's trying to change it until a week later. And he's like, oh, well, I just like, it's a lot of pressure. Like when you bring someone over, like for a lot of reasons, like having a guest or it's just, well, that freaks me out when you do something like, oh, what?

What? More live. We're just having fun, sir. We're just having fun. I'm just like, well, I'm frustrated that you invite me and then you do something like this. Yeah. And if you had been up, if you had been up front and said, honestly, I was dating someone in the house and then we broke up and so, like,

if I brought you around, she would probably, like, feel a certain sort of way, but I think if we give it like just one more week, she'd feel better. I think if he had been up front like that, she would have understood it, but she just said something vague, like, Oh, there's a lot of pressure.

It sounds like this bullshit. So she's like, fuck this guy. Fuck him, you know? Yeah, she's like, well, you say that relationships don't work out, so maybe that has something to do with it. And he goes, oh, relationship still work out for me. She goes, yeah. Okay, you know what, I'm gonna go home now. Bye.

She's like, what? I've been locked so long. She just is like, bye. She's like, I see through all your bullshit, and the next simply PB Shake is not on the house, you're paying for that shit. Oh, wow, wow, wow, more live, more live. Carl's just sitting there looking like an idiot. Oh my god, what a fucking fool this guy.

So curious. And that's it. That was the episode of Summer House. So everyone, remember to come join us tonight on Instagram Live, where we'll be doing our quarantine live show of Real Housewives of New Jersey. Yes, everybody, thanks for being here. We should love ya. Bye. Bye.

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