Watch What Crappens - SummerHouse: Joined in Faux-ly Matrimony

Episode Date: April 23, 2021

We're so sad that it's the season finale of Summer House. Goodbye Luke chopping wood; goodbye Danielle doing zoom calls; goodbye Stravy at his little desk; goodbye Ciara's bedroom laundry Jen...ga; goodbye Carl's growth (he's grown a lot, by the way); goodbye Paige's decaying relationship; goodbye Hannah's epic villain turn; and goodbye Lindsay making tacos. But here's one thing we'll never say goodbye to: Kyle and Amanda's wedding, a storyline which, after three seasons, apparently will never leave us. See you next Summer!Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is Who's what happens
Starting point is 00:00:31 Who's what happens Who's what happens Watch what happens Watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much Who's what happens Who's what happens Who cares what happens Hello and welcome to Watcher Crappens podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker.
Starting point is 00:00:59 You can also find me on the Game Brain podcast. Joining me today is the one, the only Amanda's first choice for Bridesmaid, Ronnie Caram, what's going on? Happy, how are you doing today? It's a very special day. It is a very special day. Summer house, one of my butterflies was born this morning. What, wait, you didn't talk me, tell me.
Starting point is 00:01:23 Butterfly. Today. Wow, what happened? Yeah, you didn't talk me. Butterfly. Good day. Wow. What happened? Wow. What happened? I was like, how does catapillars growing up? And you know, then they got into their cocoons.
Starting point is 00:01:31 And then one of the cocoons fell. And I thought maybe the catapillar was dead. But guess what? The fallen catapillar was the first one born. It came out. It's a little butterfly now. It's terrified of me. I make it shake.
Starting point is 00:01:42 Every time I come near it, it starts like shaking and freaking out. I'm like, who do you think is giving you sugar water? It's me. Okay. What does it look like? You know, I have to say, you know, you know, some people just have the instinct to be parents in some doubt. I never really did. And thank God that I follow that instinct because I'm not a very nice parent. I was like, you're not that good looking. You know, like my first thought of my new baby was, you could have done better. You know, like you've had all that time with the cocoon. I sang to you, I, you know, maybe pet your little cocoon
Starting point is 00:02:12 a little bit and you came out kind of busted looking. But then she opened her wings and then I was like, oh, you're pretty or you're just shy. Like she has her wings closed all the time. Yeah, she's like a baby or whatever. It's well, by now she's probably a teenager. I don't know how long they've been. Well, now we know that she's a butterfly and that I'm off
Starting point is 00:02:29 because I'm off when they rest her wings are out. Is she like one of those butterflies, like those generic butterflies, that's just like yellow, you're like, that's it, you're just. It's orange and black with white little spots. Yeah, it's nothing that you're gonna like. That sounds nice. Well, it's like, it's nothing
Starting point is 00:02:44 you're gonna like try to nail to a little picture and keep it forever. You know how people do that. They have like the butterflies in the in the glass. It's not one of those butterflies, but I was like, you know what? Maybe you're good sports. Like I don't know. Maybe you've got another talent. She's not a pretty one to get up major and creative writing. You know what? Yeah. And she was like, I was born on the ground. Like literally fell on the ground and still was the first one born. And I'm like, you know what, but your sisters
Starting point is 00:03:09 are gonna look great because they're taking longer to make their wounds and stuff. Like, I'll bet the final ones to come out are gonna be like, and then this work girl's gonna be like, well, here I am, you know. Never have the oldest one and never, the only one not married, you know, or whatever. Yeah, and she's gonna be the one that doesn't get to go to parties as much because you're gonna be like
Starting point is 00:03:27 your new parent. You don't know the rules, but you'll be easier on the other butterflies and she'll be like, Oh, no, she can do whatever she want this one. I'm like, I'm not worried about this one. I'm like, I'm not impressed with her. I'm like, do whatever you want. Yeah. Well, apparently the caterpillar that I flung off my balcony would have been a beautiful
Starting point is 00:03:43 butterfly because like a lot of messages about what sort of caterpillar it was. Swallowtail caterpillar, something like that, which I looked up would have been a beautiful butterfly. So I'm sorry to that caterpillar that wasn't able to have a caterpillar resistance on my deal, but I'm sure it had a great time in the hedges or perhaps the power line wherever it wound up. And I'm excited to see that butterfly when it hatches. In other news,
Starting point is 00:04:09 was I gonna say something about butterflies? No, you're gonna say something about our real housewives of New York live podcast. Live podcast. Yeah, for real guys, it's gonna be super fun. May 6th is when it's gonna be. So go to onlocationlive.com slash watch for crap ins. And you can join the several hundred people
Starting point is 00:04:30 who've already bought tickets and it's gonna be great because we're all gonna come together. We're gonna be recapping. People you can chat either on the system software or Facebook or wherever you wanna do your chatting. It's just a really, really fun way to kick off a weekend and especially the Rony season. So go check that out. We're going to have a blast with that. And the last thing I wanted to say, you know, we did like a light, this is relevant to today,
Starting point is 00:04:52 which we're talking about the season finale of Summer House. We talked about our peloton waffle ton thing that we had last weekend, which was a huge success. It was actually remarkably fun. But one thing we failed to mention is that Luke, Luke, I don't like you Luke. He joined the Peloton experience sort of. He got a little confused on the time zone. So he started, he did it like at 11 Eastern. But he's like, hey, so, uh, so I did it a little early by accident, but I left a mark and you guys can see how I did. Okay. So in this class, like with the way Peloton works, is that you bike, and then you have, it tracks your output, which is like some,
Starting point is 00:05:36 it's like your kilojoules or whatever, but you know, I was like, I was like, it's a unit of measurement of energy spent. It's like, yeah, something like that. So don't look at, don't get angry at me about killage. I'm not angry, I'm just, that's my reaction to the word killage rule. I don't like it.
Starting point is 00:05:56 If I was in that meeting, I'd be like, that word's stupid. Okay, we need to come up with something more accessible. Killage rule. Don't project your rage about dual, the singer onto killage rules, okay? I would never kill a Joule. No, but so maybe it's from this cast. It's like a killer Joules. You know, they never like Joules. Well, they did. But either way, the point is this that everyone like everyone was pretty much like
Starting point is 00:06:26 like 230 or lower by the end of their class and then there were some people who there were a few that were above it Luke He he got like it was like at 450 He was so high up. He the man is a beast He was I think he did it at like full resistance. He didn't even do the full ride That's the other thing. He didn't even do the full ride. And he got his output was twice as much as like, everyone else's, he's insane. And so to think that Kyle and Carl ever thought
Starting point is 00:06:57 they could beat him up in that doorway is hilarious. He has Peloton monster legs and he would just kick them over to Quagg. That's what I said. Yeah, he would kick them to death. He would just like back over them to death. Yeah. Wow. That's good. Thank you. That was really sweet. Yeah, it was really hot. It's really hot. It's really hot. It's really hot. It's really hot. It's really hot. Sweet Killed Jules, bro. Anyway, your Killed Jules look great by the way, right? Your Killed Jules look great. I love your Killed Jules right now. And your waffles great by the way, all right? Your muscles look great. Love your muscles right now.
Starting point is 00:07:25 And your waffles by the way. We were amazing and I'm actually jealous. You've got time. Oh, thanks. They were delicious. We sure had a good time doing that. So we'll do that again one day. Right now, we talked on the last podcast.
Starting point is 00:07:39 I can't fit into retail clothes anymore. So guess what? No waffle days for a while. OK, maybe we'll just have a day where I show you how to like put some pickle juice on your fingernails and treat that as lunch because it's time to go the other way, people. Okay. Wow. Well, I've been burning a lot of kila jules sitting here talking about this, but we have
Starting point is 00:07:57 a big recap to get into because it is the season finale. Oh, it's crap is on demand also. So go to patreon.com. So watch our crap and you can watch this. You can watch. You can watch Ronnie's face. Look so angry every time I say kilojoules. Kila Jules. Kila Jules. Kila Jules. I'm not ever going to stand by that word. What a stupid word. No one's asking to stand by it. Well, there I said it.
Starting point is 00:08:22 So I said it anyway. If you don't like the music, turn to channel badge. I look great by the way, villagers. So, okay, so Summer House, season finale, we are starting up, we're in the middle of an argument between Hannah and all the girls, because the girls, Dane to tell Hannah, that does seem to be very interested in socializing with the rest of the house.
Starting point is 00:08:47 And Hannah is like, not happy about this. Yeah, so Hannah walks off, she's like, oh, you're clinging my boyfriend. So she leaves and then Danielle is talking to Amanda and she's like, oh, that girl just does not want to hear it. Like, we shouldn't be afraid to confront our own housemate. I was like, really, your best friend is Lindsay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:09 Okay. You literally are best friends with the terrorists of the house. So then you have no legs to stand on here, ma'am. Literally, like Lindsay chopped them off. She's like, Danielle, you're not the board of them. I mean, right now, you lose the leg. So, um, Sitha and Hannah goes off and she's's with Sierra and she's like, I am so good at controlling my anger. Stop that! That ball is out that is not a boy! Sorry, I just watched this in
Starting point is 00:09:33 tennis. But, you know, this summer maybe not, but like I was literally just like trying to have a joke. That Luke was saying, that's a guy who doesn't know, like he doesn't think he's like a good guy. And then Daniel Daniel is like Robert hanging out with all the boys and then a man is coming at me and I'm like shut the fuck up Like I made just even to Fenny way. I'm like what the fuck. I mean, I'm sorry bitching about it But I mean it's like right back last summer and then page in the man does like just like last year's or judges my Relationship I was like, just like last year, it's our judges of my relationship. Excuse me, internet. Judging your non-relationship that you have last summer, that you also brought into this summer,
Starting point is 00:10:11 which was never a relationship. Listen, just to clear this, just to make this clear for Sierra. Yes, and that's a thing, don't cite the people who were right. Like to be like, they're judging me just the way they accurately warn me of the emotional pitfalls that I would later stumble into and display at the top of this season. It's like, so don't you think they're maybe doing it again?
Starting point is 00:10:36 But haven't they proven their track record? Yeah, it's like getting on a rack and blaming the stop sign. You know, it's like, no man, you cannot sue a stop sign. Okay, just doesn't work like that. So then it cuts back to the girls and pages like, um, I said it last summer, and I was the worst friend ever, so guess what, I'm just gonna stay quiet.
Starting point is 00:10:54 And then it's like, I'm already the worst friend of an hour now. Go on, I'll talk about, I'm not saying anything because she's getting defensive. And it cuts back to Hannah going, a patient saying that getting defensive, I'm being just saying I'm getting defensive. What the hell? Not defensive.
Starting point is 00:11:07 She goes defending myself. Which the actor defending yourself is defensive. Defending the word defending the Latin root is defending. Listen, even if it's not the Latin root Yeah, I'm sticking with the kill a jewel Okay, I can make a Latin read on a lot of a lot of A defense of defensive is kill a jewel. Okay, let's I don't want to waste any more kill a jewels on this But I have to because I like this. Pager's calling me defense. I'm not being defensive
Starting point is 00:11:40 I'm just defending myself because I've had to do that for every second. If you're defending yourself for every second, you're literally being defensive. You're being defensive. Defensive. You're actively being defensive. Literally. And it's also like you don't have to defend yourself like because it's not, you're not like,
Starting point is 00:11:57 you aren't on trial here. It's desu's on trial, but I guess desu is an extension of her. But Sierra is just like, my recommendation is that you breathe, but not too hard because my room has some really strange fumes coming out of the toilet, okay? So light press. So then Lindsay is wasted and she's talking to Stephen and she's talking in baby voice.
Starting point is 00:12:20 Wasted Lindsay baby voice is terrifying. She's like, um, Bing, man, I'm gonna, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, It reminds me of a rest in peace, Brittany Murphy in that movie I'll never tell. It's like, I'll never tell. It's like the Lindsey version just like. Oh. Also, Ronnie, I can't believe you missed this really important part. Luke saying, I'm gonna go make a fire, which is an ongoing theme of the episode. Yeah, you could really say that at any moment in this show and it's probably happening. Yeah. So he's making a fire and then Carl's like playing balls with the boys
Starting point is 00:13:31 Hey, I guess what Sunday is bold day for the boys, all right? So he throws a ball and it hits Luke's fire And he's like, I'm making a fire here. I wait. Lower your killer jewels By the way, of course Carl would kick a soccer ball into a campfire. It's like so cool. Oh, hey, sorry I didn't mean to do that right now. It'll really grown a lot So part of that is like having to learn how to cook a ball a little bit better You're just moderating how hard I kick a ball Carguss whoa watch out guy Watch out guy you just kicked a ball into fire that could have just gone right into Luke's model face What are you doing Carl
Starting point is 00:14:10 We drove them back West even then Lindsay Stevens like I feel like we're getting to a good play Good a good a good rhythm. Yeah, like the break the break was good Yeah, I feel like we're like hearing each other. I mean, how do we are? We're hearing each other. I was like, oh my god, look, did I finish the sentence woman? She's comming him or the other way around.
Starting point is 00:14:34 She's like, I just, it's like, but I hope we're on the same page with expectations that flowers can't be done every day. Some days it'll just have to be fish sticks, you know? Or like it probably just gonna be fish sticks from now on. Oh my God, no, like, babe, like you just, I just need you to show up. Like I go out feeds my soul is getting the deepest part.
Starting point is 00:14:59 Oh yeah. Yeah. And they're like, oh, but what does that even mean? I just need you to show up. Cause it seems like she equates showing up with The gifts and helicopters and the non-fishing trips. She drunk right now because Yeah, that's that's it. She loves him. Okay. Um, so she's like, you know What he's making a giant apple right now? What I'm really on brinjee I'm thinking of GALIANT after I know, with I'm really on brinjee.
Starting point is 00:15:25 Mm-hmm. He's so galliant. Like, I couldn't decide if he was gallant, or being valiant. I decided he was galliant. Yeah, he's a beach. So Hannah calls Des, and she's like, oh my god.
Starting point is 00:15:41 I like snopped. Like Luke sent me down, and he was like, oh, you know, Desessess and the kind of guy I would grab a drink with. He didn't get on with the other guys. And then the girls were like, oh my god, you guys didn't even hang out with the rest of the group.
Starting point is 00:15:53 And then I snapped and I just like, I hate when I snap. I mean, he's so upset and I'm like snapped at that one. Yeah, she goes, she's like, yeah, she's like, I'm like, why can't they be happy for me? Okay, everyone, just a memo, if you ever find yourself on a reality show and then you find yourself saying the phrase, why can't they be happy for me? Just know you're probably in the wrong.
Starting point is 00:16:16 Like, I don't think anyone in the history of reality TV has ever said, why can't they be happy for me? And the audience has been like, I know, why can't they be, it's like you're usually in the room with this one. Yeah. And that's just like, don't be sad about getting angry. Think of them, instead of inflatable horse races. I can't do that accent. It really does.
Starting point is 00:16:38 It's more of a boss or something about it. I don't know how to do it. No one, all right. You can do it. You will be able to do it. It's because it's not Boston, but it is, it's like, it's just a weird, he has a weird one, but I just don't know how to do it all right you can do it you'll be able to do it because it's because it's not Boston But it is it's like it's just a weird he has a weird one But I just don't get that one wall you have to go with a what what sound, you know, I don't get it
Starting point is 00:16:53 There's a scound HGTV from I think in sync or the back street boys or something and he has his own show Do you know who I mean MJ something and he's like so may use my know me for my something and he's like, so may use my know me for my what a job. Hey, Jim McLean. Yeah, you might know me for my other gig. And then it shows him doing his M sink or whatever is a M sink back. And he's like, you know what I love?
Starting point is 00:17:16 You know what I love? I love farm houses, right? You know, just love the farm houses. I wanted to be a ritual for me. I was like, I can't I can't watch this and They're showing it every day on the ectv so it records and I'm like, oh, maybe it'll be different this time And he's like, you know what? I'm so happy. I could do this for you boys So now every time I hear it does I just think of that farmhouse show and I want to stab my ears. I want to do that accent all the time. That was amazing.
Starting point is 00:17:51 So Des, my version of Des is accent, which I also don't think is very accurate as him saying, you know what, Hannah, don't be upset about getting angry. I mean, they get angry about it and say, oh, you just said that part. Listen, we haven't been saying it But I love you more than I love any human being and lie in my life So take so take that with you and you can also take a private pizza which I've already sent for you Okay, so let that empower you okay? This guy's name is Jonathan Knight. He's oh, he's on the blind Oh, that makes sense. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's Boston When you always look like he's gonna start crying,
Starting point is 00:18:27 he's like, I'm like, yeah. He's like, cries at his own designs at the end. He's like, he's like, roll up your kitchen. Oh, I get it, cry. And I promise myself a one cry, right? He's got the right stuff, baby. So, anyway, so the Hannah's basically feeling like,
Starting point is 00:18:49 he hasn't seen her in her craziest times and still likes her, so he's a keeper. So now we have Luke back at the fire and he's like, you know what, guys, I feel like the fire thing has always sort of been my thing. I don't know, I'm sort of like known for fire. And I just love to see it by by a fire hang out with guys by a fire burn a lot of killer jewels by a fire, you know, like God fire fires the best, right? They should have a festival. Yeah, just call
Starting point is 00:19:16 fire festival, you know, I would totally buy a ticket site unseen. We just got to make sure we spell it how a model would. right so he's like all right I know I'm halfway through my fire speech and we're missing a couple of people so I'm gonna talk about shopping wood now Okay, here's chapter two. I'm kind of the guy you want to call when you chop some wood okay? And they're God just get to it Luke He's like it's been a ton of fun this summer, you know like like my first My first date in high school, tons of fun they called her.
Starting point is 00:19:47 God, she was a good girl. She's good girl. Love the hot dish. I love she was like a big hot dish that like never ended, you know? And you know what? Like, God, since we started partying on Thursday, it's already been like three, three days. And this has been my most fun week I've had of the summer because it's just been like you know campfire every night, chaplain wood, playing guitar. Okay,
Starting point is 00:20:11 since you guys asked for here's my new song. Okay, it goes like this. like a bird on a tree. No, didn't get that one. What is it? Chappin wood. All I want to do is keep chalkin wood. I look at you and think, gee, I wish I might. No, no, wait, no, this is what it was. It was like chop in wood in a shirt in tie. I see a coyote. And then he walks away and says, good. They know starting the fire, starting the fire. I just wish I was smart enough to change or Start in the fire. I just wish that was smart enough to change or Basic or reals Basic or real yeah Big talk days big talk days. He's not my cup of tea
Starting point is 00:21:16 But sometimes I kind of feel like Maybe someday maybe he would like I really did need to get close that time huh that song kind of got away from you a little bit it was a little in some workshop and you know I'm playing in the fire it's anything yeah I'm playing in the fire for that one, okay? Commissions, here comes one right now. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter
Starting point is 00:21:53 or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows.
Starting point is 00:22:22 It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this esteemed jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder app. So, you know, I love every one of us and this is the best weekend ever and you know what,
Starting point is 00:22:54 we're by a fire, which is guess what? My thing. Okay. So, I'm basically like a pig and shit right now is what I'm saying. Okay, a pig and shit. I'm like a pig and shit right now. And Stravy, welcome back. Excited to have you here throughout the rest of the night. So then, then we go over to Hannah and Sierra and Hannah's like, oh, I need to use your toilet. And so she's about to go into the toilet. And she goes, wait a second, I may have shot
Starting point is 00:23:18 and not flushed it. I was like, I mean, we know she's messy, but this was a dimension of her mask that I really was really was, didn't think it was gonna go there. Don't you hate that though, when you remember stuff like that so much later, it's like, you're going to sleep and it's like, oh my God, I left the car on. Yeah, so it's like, you haven't been
Starting point is 00:23:36 to the car for nine hours. Like, how are you remembering that now? I hate that, I'm like so paranoid about that. So, wedding talk, car's like, well, it's gonna be a white wedding. I think we should do this fake wedding because like, it's gonna be amazing. We're gonna all be there. It's like one day, you know, we're gonna have speeches. We're gonna do everything. Okay?
Starting point is 00:23:55 Because like, I want you guys to feel ready for your real day. Okay, so I'm gonna wear white jeans, which I will wear the day before you wedding. You're wedding day, the day after you're wedding. Oh, I'm in them right now. Yeah, I'm in them right now. Yeah, I'm in them right now. You look great by the way, why jeans? You look great by the way.
Starting point is 00:24:08 You look great by the way. I'm gonna wear white jeans with a white shirt, but a cream blazer to really drive everyone else. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, it's a different shape. Cause, guys, I'm a stan. And a stan is a super fan. Yeah, I don't know if you heard about that before, Stan.
Starting point is 00:24:22 You know the origins are from a nemmanem song. I don't know if you heard a nemmanem. It's actually not just a candy, it's actually a rapper. Yeah, it's pretty good. Yeah, I've grown a if you heard about that before, Stan. You know the origins are from a Neem and Em song. I don't know if you heard a Neem and Em, it's actually not just a candy, it's actually a rapper. Yeah, it's pretty good. Yeah, I've grown a lot with my musical days. So we see two days ago, a flashback and Carl's like, oh, I love you guys so much. And like, it's real last weekend of the summer together.
Starting point is 00:24:38 And we should just like throw our herfew wedding, like, whew, whew, whew, we better wait and send them off to the sunset, but like, not too far away, because I should have my best friends. I'm sweet, I'm just like a sweet little boy. And you know, Robert has been gracious enough to prepare some things, okay.
Starting point is 00:24:55 Which Robert turns out to be this amazing caterer, never let him go. No, Robert's the best. So, yeah, so then they all play some wacky Jenga in the kitchen. Oh yeah, every week they all play some wacky Jenga in the kitchen. Oh, yeah, every every week there's like a new there's like a new exciting game. Last week was ladder ball. This week it's like Kyle Kyle actually goes, Kyle goes, uh, dare I suggest, are we down for some Jenga and then Trixie comes on and goes, are you ready? Are you ready? I'm like,
Starting point is 00:25:21 relax is Jenga. Relax, Trixi. You know what we didn't mention on this week's Real Housewives of Atlanta recap? What? I cannot believe I forgot to mention it. Did you notice that they took Trixi Monaco's music from this show and put it on Real House wives of Atlanta? I actually did not notice that. But you don't know about me.
Starting point is 00:25:39 We've got to show ya. Oh, that, that recap's on our bonus episode, by the way. I'm gonna show you Yeah, yeah, we didn't hear some of the classics also like I Don't care about the rules. I only break them I don't care about the rules. That's like my favorite So then Luke and kitchen are talking no Luke and Stravy are talking in the kitchen. And Luke goes, oh by the way, Lindsay's the size 5 ring by the way.
Starting point is 00:26:12 Okay, because I had a conversation with her and it sounded like you're ready to wave up. And then we cut to Danielle waking up, Lindsay, who's drunk. It's like, guess who's staying out with you? The little dog. Yeah. That ceramic dog thing is still around like They're holding onto those things for a long time. So Lindsay's like So I've had sex with Robbie like 10 times like three days and like since he's been back I'm like right ago right now like I want to get engaged and start having babies
Starting point is 00:26:43 So back in the kitchen. I was like, are you gonna propose, bro? Steven's like, no, proposing is a really big deal to me. I mean, that's gonna like be an entire Excel spreadsheet. I'm gonna need like, the pie chart's not gonna do it. Okay, I'm gonna need a slide show at the very least for that one.
Starting point is 00:27:02 So Lindsay joins up with the group upstairs and downstairs Perry is in her room and she's face time, I'm sorry, Paige is in her room, face timing Perry. And she's like, how was your day? He's like, it was all right. You're excited to pick me up? I'm nervous.
Starting point is 00:27:16 I feel like I don't know you anymore. And she goes, I've changed a lot. Sorry, I've just been around Carl. I've grown a lot. I know, that was another Carl. I'm moder a lot. I know, that's another Carl. I'm moderating my drinking. Sorry, there he goes again. I've literally changed my clothes so many times.
Starting point is 00:27:31 Okay, do you know how many things aren't supposed to be a sat, but now are things to me. But now I know things that I want and things that I don't want. You know, like sets, I want sets, things that aren't sets, but I make them sets. I don't want those anymore. It's a lot of responsibility, Perry. It's a lot. Yeah. So he's like, well, what the fuck does that mean? She's like, it's wrong. He's like, it's not
Starting point is 00:27:56 like something's wrong. He just feels like, I mean, I don't know. We haven't had much of a relationship for the last number of weeks. So it's just like an awkward place. Like, you don't feel it at all. She goes, I'm in a different world. You know, like, literally like, these subnails here and Mercedo May, where it reenacting season one of it different world. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, She's like, you know, my answering to anyone in six weeks has been so freeing that like now that's what I want. Okay, I don't want to be in a relationship and I don't want to be Perry's girlfriend and he is going to be so
Starting point is 00:28:33 Blindsided. I'm like, well, yeah, he's going to be blindsided because you just said right now on the phone Don't you feel like we're distant and don't really have a relationship anymore and you said no So yeah, he's going to be surprised when you're like, I feel like we've been distant and we don't have a relationship either way. Yep. So then we go over to more Jenga and Lindsay's like, this is our own basis present,
Starting point is 00:28:58 what do you need? And I wasn't to kill in it, this made me a dumb superwoman. I'm like, who is doing this to Lindsay? She is about to have a meltdown. We all know, don't feed Lindsay after midnight, right? Don't expose her sunshine, don't get her wet, and don't feed her after midnight. Yeah. Oh, so Hannah's telling Paige, I'm not marrying you, but I want you to have my back page.
Starting point is 00:29:20 And just, I apologize, but that puts me at odds when it's not really my battle., you know, I'm really sorry about that, but you do not ever have to be sorry for me. And I'm not doing what you have to think. Yeah. So, I think it's a really good way to deal with your friend. It's like, I love you so much, and I'm not getting into your drama. Yeah, sorry. It's also her way of being like, sorry, this is what the entire house felt. So I'm not gonna like just stand up for you
Starting point is 00:29:48 if the whole house felt this way. So now there's like hilarious, Jenga stuff, Kyle has to guess Robert and then Lindsay, for Lindsay's term, it's like, show us your Aereola. So of course she shows the boob and Stravia's like, wow, you really love showing your Aereola. She's like, I don't love it.
Starting point is 00:30:05 It just happens. Um, and then Carl's like, this is the first summer. Like I literally do not want the summer to end. All right, we made the moon and all. We made the moon and all. And then the, the jacket, her falls over. So during shots and it's dancing and then Amanda's like I mean this dancing you guys wow just summer house dancing. I never get over how wide it is
Starting point is 00:30:35 It's like the white us dancing. It is the white is shit ever. It's like Wap like white ass pricies Okay, it's really, really white. It's aggressively white. Yeah, it really is. It's like, the boys all do like run in place and little kicks. Yeah, and the girls do the step, the step, touch, step, and then they do like twerking, like Amanda twerking.
Starting point is 00:30:59 Oh, it's, it's very, it's very much like going to like the Sarah the Saratoga Springs Amphitheater for Dave Matthews concert and I say that from experience so I've been there Back or something like that. I can see it in my head. I can see it in my head I also saw Gent Gent blossoms there and cracker and spin doctors again same dancing. So Amanda cracker. Is there a better band to play for white people dancing? So then uh, Lindsay and Steve, Lindsay comes up to Steve and I shake and me mean, what should I drink now baby?
Starting point is 00:31:40 And he's like, uh, water maybe. I'm sorry, what? I'm sorry. Oh, why? I mean like why is it that you're so boring sometimes like I can't live my freaking life? He's like maybe I'll get you some coffee you have to wake up. Look at me. Look at me. He's like and then just just show how not wasted she really is. They just show Lindsay going down the stairs and like holding onto the rails like for dear life. Like, oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:11 Yeah. Slowly plotting down. Also Amanda's like, um, Lindsay, Shanna, Ariola, three times tonight. And if they get engaged, am I pretend wedding? I'm gonna lose my shit. Amanda, that is so amazing. That is so amazing.
Starting point is 00:32:30 That is so amazing. That is so amazing. That is so amazing. That is so amazing. That is so amazing. That is so amazing. That is so amazing. That is so amazing.
Starting point is 00:32:38 That is so amazing. That is so amazing. That is so amazing. That is so amazing. That is so amazing. That is so amazing. That is so amazing. That is so amazing. That is so amazing. That is so amazing. That is so amazing. And just so we don't forget that this show is kind of a spin-off of Vanderpump rules. Not a spin-off, but a, I don't know, they started together, right? And Vanderpump rules led into this show. So just so we don't forget, we get a good old fashion Vanderpump rules storyline, where Lindsay is now pissed off because she goes to bed and Steven stays up to party.
Starting point is 00:33:00 So, then he's parting with all the guys and we just see Lindsay's doing and then it cuts to Luke in his room like, oh my God, I can't see on the street. The guy you're this so sexy, wanna get it in the shower. That's just a joke. Just drumming. So, um, yeah, so Lindsay's, Lindsay's in her bedroom and she starts texting Strappy and she's like, Come here! And then? Come hang out!
Starting point is 00:33:30 And then? Steven, come downstairs now! And then in all caps, stop ignoring me! Come downstairs! Thanks for the permission from our friends! She's like one after the other and it just keeps on cutting between her like Scream-taxing then partying and then like looping like campfire Happy as a pig in poop. I just want to visit one of Paltrow's website, which is called eBay no, what was he called again?
Starting point is 00:34:01 Ting it. I'll take some time with that one Yeah, so then Lindsay goes over to the kitchen. She goes to the kitchen. She goes right up to strobe and she's like What was he called again? Ding it. I'll take some time with that one. Oh yeah. So then Lentie goes over to the kitchen. She goes to the kitchen. She goes right up to Stravy and she's like, you don't care about your fucking girl. There's no nearer than there's no nearer than there's no nearer. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:34:20 This is the woman who literally 20 minutes ago was like, I don't know, I was making baby, I'm not gonna get mad right now. You're gonna leave, you're gonna be out of here. So Kyle, the guy was gonna see you with that. Yeah, look, it's like with that. So Steven goes to the bedroom and he's like, you know what, if you don't want me here, fine, I'm gone. She's fine, mother fucker, Go there. You can do whatever the
Starting point is 00:34:48 fuck you want. Mother fucker, you think you're this smartest person in the room? Cause you can use PowerPoint? Oh, guess what? I know how to use Google slides. So, he's like, this is how you are when you want me to propose. Oh, shut up. Like you proposing is the biggest gift in the world. Shut up, okay. I know. And she tells him, shut the fuck up. Yes, I am.
Starting point is 00:35:11 Oh, okay. There's a brick in my Ark invention and I didn't grow this hair for nothing, okay. Peace out. So she goes, are you going to tell everybody? And he goes, no, that's on you. So she goes to the kitchen and she's like, I'm a you leaving.
Starting point is 00:35:29 Danielle's like, busy like, this is a test. She's testing him to see if he'll leave, you know, which by the way, he should leave because why do you want to be in a relationship with someone who's testing you all the time? Doesn't seem great to me. So Danielle's like, no, Stravy, no, even though I have actually very little confidence in this relationship as expressed in the previous episode and the one before that, I am commanding you to stay. And I'm not going to let you leave this house. Yeah. So she's trying not to let him leave. And then Stevens all mad and Kyle's all upset
Starting point is 00:36:03 again. You know, he's like, come on come on bro, you gotta stop doing the whole, I'm leaving things. He's like, I'm tired of this shit. And then Danielle goes in the bedroom with Robert and he's like sleeping, he's trying to sleep and she's, oh my God, we cannot let him leave. He's like, why? Why?
Starting point is 00:36:21 And she's like, okay, I'll just go to bed. The first time that sentence has ever been said about Stravi. We cannot let Stravi leave. I also like Lindsay going, why does this happen to me every fucking time as if like she was not the one who got wasted and got angry in her head and then screamed at her own boyfriend and don't
Starting point is 00:36:45 them to fuck off. Why does that happen to me every time? Why do I do this to myself every time? Yeah, so this time Steven ends up staying. He likes sneaks into bed. Sneaks onto the cover. It's on stakes. Stakes?
Starting point is 00:36:59 What do I say that? So the next day the alarm goes off and looks like fuck off alarm. I was like, whoa, Luke is really getting aggressive this season Yeah, he really is sexually frustrated so see it and Then it's like a very awkward and silent and then Zian Stravi's room and by the way one thing that we have not noticed all Season long but someone on Facebook mentioned it someone on Facebook said something like All season long, but someone on Facebook mentioned it, someone on Facebook said something like,
Starting point is 00:37:26 how you can tell a house was never meant to be slept in, and they had a picture of Amanda and Kyle's bedroom, and you just see this like blazing morning, like coming through their window, and I do not believe that they left those window shades open. You just see them, like, this is correct. This bedroom with a bed facing Eastern exposure was never meant to be lifted.
Starting point is 00:37:46 And you just see it in this scene, just like that blazing sun, which I felt like mentioning because, fuck you architect, fuck you, shouldn't have done that. You're really into your windows, critiques. No, I just think, you know what? I've got something to say about a window today. I do.
Starting point is 00:38:03 Well, I'm just also thinking like, God, that must suck. Every single morning, leaking up with that bright ass on in your face, that giant window in that mansion. Just that window sure got your killer jewels out. It got my killer jewels. I'm sure they burned a lot of killer jewels and that's for sure.
Starting point is 00:38:18 Just felt like I didn't mention it because I thought that was a design flaw in the mansion. Yeah. You gotta get curtains, guys, or little blinds, okay? Yeah. So, let's see, the kitchen. So Sierra sees Lindsay and Lindsay's just
Starting point is 00:38:31 that kind of moping around the kitchen. And she's like, are you okay, Lindsay? I'm saying, I still don't get it. His defense mechanism is to run away. Okay, yes, you just actually answered your own question. His defense mechanism. Okay. It's because he is defending himself. If he doesn't do, if he doesn't run, listen, your mom leaving you, I get the whole like my mom abandoned me so I can't be abandoned.
Starting point is 00:38:56 Your mom did not abandon you because of anything you did. Your mom abandoned you because she's a fucking asshole. Okay. So you have to separate that because if Steven abandons you, it's not for no reason, it's because you're being an asshole. Do you understand? So worry about being like your mom and that you're being an asshole. Stop being an asshole, okay?
Starting point is 00:39:16 Because it's totally normal to run away from an asshole. Yeah, it is. That's exactly what one should do, by the way. Run away from an asshole. Defense, defense. Oh no, they're defensive! That's exactly what one should do by the way run away from an asshole Lindsay also then Lucas like wow Lindsay you know you really tied one on last night. I mean holy shit Pardon my language I like like Luke suddenly is like who's spent the whole season be like god fucking damn it Sorry, sorry, sorry
Starting point is 00:39:48 Don't want to say in front of the dish So then in pages room I'm similar to page in this way where I just had the most on the nose dreams And then I'm like, what do you think that meant? She's like I dreamt that I was at a Yankee game with my high school boyfriend and then I fucked him and how to go I think that means you're horny. Very horny and like wants to see some, like actually, no, it's just horny. It's like literally like the classic metaphor
Starting point is 00:40:12 for hornyness is a baseball game, first base, second base, third base. It's just bad on, as on the nose as it can be. So then now then like a Stravys back at his little desk and Lindsay comes into the room with a coffee mug, and he's like, so we're just gonna ignore everything, and she's like, oh, we're gonna talk later. No, I'm talking to you now from a box on top of a pillow,
Starting point is 00:40:38 on top of another box at my desk. I'm talking to you now, I'm just steaming. This is serious, looking that mirror and talk'm talking to you now. Stephen. This is serious. Look in that mirror and talk to my reflection right now, ma'am. And she's like, um, I would like to talk a little bit later when I've had a cup of coffee and a few shots of tequila. That's when, okay? Yes, exactly. Because it's so hard to talk after you've had a drunk and fight. And then you have to talk about it while you're sober because it doesn't make the same kind of sense that you made when you were drunk.
Starting point is 00:41:07 You know? Just to build a part of you. I'm not talking about this. Yeah. She's talking about you when I've had a couple of drinks. Yeah. And then I can be back at the same time. That's the facts.
Starting point is 00:41:16 Gather all the information from everyone. Like, what did I say? Because I want to be angry about him. I said that. He said that. OK, good. Thank you. Yeah. And then Kyle. So my turn, I said that he said that. Okay, good, thank you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:25 And then Kyle. So, like, my turn, I guess I'll keep going. So, Carl and Kyle are getting set, or Carl's, oh no, they're getting ready to do this wedding thing. And so, Carl's like, oh hey. Do you have your white pants? I was like, is that, that's gotta be like a prerequisite of everything Carl throws.
Starting point is 00:41:44 Yeah, it's like, all right everybody. We're having a white pants party Blow white pants y'all it's good for our white pants. I've really grown a lot. So my pants has been worked out pretty well So then Hannah and Amanda are talking about last night and Hannah's like You know, it's just like I came off such a fun three days with dads when we fucked in your bathroom. And I just, I just wanted to laugh about stuff at Luke's expense, you know, and Amanda's like, yeah, I was just upset because you said Kyle was the reason why you weren't hanging out with us. Such, and Hannah's like, well, the only time we fight is when
Starting point is 00:42:19 something with Kyle gets involved, usually because I involved Kyle into things and like I literally love you and have no issue with you I just think that you've chosen a piece of shit for a Future husband, but I look forward to being a bridesmaid for you. Okay, great And Amanda's like my geodges bring up Kyle the her mean Kyle and she's like no I was literally just explaining that I want my friends to like understand me. And she goes, yeah, but like you keep bringing things up about Kyle. And then we see it clips from all the season of fighting with Kyle and about Kyle.
Starting point is 00:42:55 And Amanda's like, you know, it's just like really hard for me and like a blind lead of Fendi, when my fiance is. Like, I have to pick signs. Yeah. And she's basically like, if Kyle and Hannah can't have a friendship, then Hannah and I probably can't be good, you know? As they basically say that their friendship has changed, which I mean, makes sense. So then Carl is like, oh, everyone, okay.
Starting point is 00:43:22 So here's the plan for tonight. Ceremony coming on the staircase. Contales by the side. And then Luke's gonna put an altar by the front. And then I will go through until everyone. They look great by the way. I love a red loop. Nice white pants.
Starting point is 00:43:36 I've grown a lot. I'm watering my drinking. And then we'll circle back to you. Look great by the way. Thanks. That's the plan. Luke's gonna do the altar, all right. Luke's doing the altar and he's like,
Starting point is 00:43:47 yeah, nice axe, real nice axe. He's got a new axe. He's all probably really happy with his axe. He's like, oh, I'm the efficient. So I'm gonna do the ceremony and I don't know what I'm doing yet, but there will be a dance party. So if anyone needs any tips, here is a videotape of me in 1993 at the Meadows and Hartford Dancing to Fish. Thank you. So Pate's in Amanda, I mean, Pate and Hannah are
Starting point is 00:44:14 in in their bed. And Pate's like, our bed is disgusting. And Amanda's like, oh, I mean, Hannah, sorry, Hannah's like, are talked to Amanda, and it links, socks or friendships deteriorated, but like the way her fiance spoke to me, I can never forget. Okay, here we go again, with Hannah pretending she is the one who broke up with somebody. Okay, this is just a pattern with her because Amanda just told you,
Starting point is 00:44:38 you know, sometimes friendships just change, and that's okay, and it's better to just move on. And I was like, yeah, and she's like, I just broke up with Amanda okay because I will not stand for the way that her boyfriend spoke to me. Yeah so yeah she's and Hannah's like I mean she has to have her back like but like oh page says that she thinks that they should buy that that Kyle and, like Kyle and Amanda Sheffa, a tougher skin and Hannah's like, yeah, I mean, like, look, she has to have
Starting point is 00:45:10 us back, but like I'm finally being real. And if I lose some friendships out of it, then maybe some people aren't supposed to be friends. Yeah. Yeah. So then everybody's putting the wedding together and stuff and then Danielle is talking to Lindsay and She's like oh, I wanted to talk about last night. I'm like, um, I know why I don't think that my boyfriend likes me that much I don't think he does right now you there actually um
Starting point is 00:45:38 Yeah, well, that's nice you just wait no, we're supposed to say no. He loves you wait what huh? nice to be just wait no we're supposed to say no he loves you wait what huh I know Danielle totally changed in this scene Lizzie doesn't even know what to do with it because she goes yeah I don't think he does either and then she goes well I just think I don't even get what he's the upset about like I mean is it am I the problem and then you'll go yep absolutely yes he comes he goes And Daniel goes you're absolutely yes Can we take this even from the top I think we're gonna use on our lines Okay, he doesn't even like me right Daniel he hates you nobody does No, you're supposed to say how he loves me and that I'm like that like who would be crazy to
Starting point is 00:46:30 She's cute. Come here from the top please She's like there has to be a reason that you like push him away She's I'm I'm triggered. I'm triggered when people leave like I if I push him I want to see if I push him if you'll run I'm like Yes I push him, I want to see if I push him if he'll run. I'm like, yes. Do you know how hard it is for me to walk to Olympics when they do like a 50 yard dash? Like I literally am triggered. I was like, I'm standing here while you're running away from me saying, but like I literally cannot. Hmm.
Starting point is 00:46:57 So she says that Daniel's right and she is always testing Stravy. And she goes, my, my, like, if he leaves me, what, you know, my biggest worry is that he was gonna leave me again and he just proved me correct. Yeah, but you did it. I don't think. He's being perfectly nice. He's doing everything you want
Starting point is 00:47:17 and you are still being a monster. So. Yeah. Also, you shouldn't have taken him back in the first place because he actually didn't do anything to prove that he's changed except then do like Literally incessant flowers and you keep on and every time she says now he's showing up like what does that mean? What is this like he's showing up like I mean? I know he literally took an Uber
Starting point is 00:47:37 But that is not a substitute for that stuff. Things are not fixed in a week off from the house I just think it's hard to have a relationship if you're not actually looking for somebody that you love and that loves you back. Like I think it really should be that simple. Like I just want somebody that I truly love to be around that I want to build a life with that really loves me.
Starting point is 00:47:59 Instead, it's like all behavioral based, right? It's like you get certain points if you do these certain things and then you can be mine. It's like, I don't wanna behave your based, right? It's like you get certain points if you do these certain things and then you can be mine It's like I don't want to behave your based Like a merit based relationship, you know what I mean? Like I don't want to have to earn this in a relay race, okay? You fucking like me or do you not fucking like me? What does it need to be all this like you have to have a checklist of shit to go through?
Starting point is 00:48:20 Well, that's big good. That's cuz I think Lindsay Lindsay would probably agree with you But her version of receiving love would be someone not running away when she acts like a total crazy person. But of course, she's probably not attracted to the people who don't run away, you know, like someone who would just... Right, it has to be like an effort, right? Because effort would probably still be together with effort if it wasn't like cheating and because that stuff was like real breakup stuff but if it was still just like screaming you know it's like just screaming at each other she loves that part right yeah man I
Starting point is 00:48:53 can't help but wonder what would be if I hadn't just left Lindsay wow there was told me don't leave no man behind but I left a little lady behind and said why everyone why the first time I saw Lindsay and I bar across a crowded room and I saw the smoke in her eyes I went up and I said you're the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen and you've got smoke in your eyes and she said fuck you loser and I said no fuck you bitch and then she said no fuck you you motherfucker and I said fuck you loser and I said no fuck you bitch. And then she said no fuck you, you motherfucker. And I said fuck you, you stupid cock sucker. Then we fucked in the bathroom. And I knew I'd never find another woman like it.
Starting point is 00:49:33 And then I left her and was the biggest mistake of my life and I'll never forget the day. She came up to me and said, I'm gonna go sleep in a bed. We're the man in the bed Enjoy your dinner and I thought man never should have left that crazy crazy lady with that fork in her hair Now I have a lady who talks like one of Marge's Simpson sisters and I pretend I'm happy every day But when I say fuck you you stupid cow. You know what she says to me? That's not nice. I just miss the fuck you cock sucker Dine your sleep. Oh Lindsay the one that got away Wow, that was so deep. That was really deep. Wow. Thank you. Thanks over
Starting point is 00:50:22 Intruding in my very important scene. So, me while up in the kitchen, Sierra walks up to Robert, who's cooking, and she goes, is that top and odd? And he's like, yeah, I'm a big top and odd guy. You just know in the background, Carl was like, damn it, I could have used that all summer long. Hey, Sierra, you know, you like those all?
Starting point is 00:50:46 I'm a big top and odd guy. What can I say? I'm a big top and odd guy. I'm a big top and odd guy. You know what? Hey, top and odd stuff in the woods, yeah. That's because they look great top of me. You know that Carl's gonna go around saying that
Starting point is 00:50:58 all year now. I'm a top and odd guy. Big top and odd guy. How about you guys? Listen, I love my mom and I'm just a big top of my guy. That's just who I am. You know what? You know, I've had my ups and downs.
Starting point is 00:51:09 I've had my ups and downs, but one thing I can always rely on, the top of my heart. Top of my heart. So it's just trying to grow. I'm a man who you're talking and Kyle's like, you know, Kyle's like, I'm gonna ask Carl to be my co-best man. I mean, my brother's still gonna be my best man,
Starting point is 00:51:24 but Carl's gonna also be my best. It's like two best men. And the man is like, I'm on your last page and remind me, my brain's me, and Kyle. And he goes, oh, whoa, whoa, how much feel left out of that? So like, um, she's gonna feel,
Starting point is 00:51:38 but heard about it Kyle, but I have to do it. This is so passive-aggressive by Amanda. I think she's with them totally with her rice to decide who she wants as her bridesmaid, and especially she and Hannah have had a rocky situation. And Hannah, like she has to, you know, I don't think that she really can make Hannah her bridesmaid
Starting point is 00:51:59 given her issues with Kyle, but she also doesn't have to assign it like tonight, the last night on in front of everybody. In front of everyone. Yeah, in front of everyone. Yeah, I'm publicly going to dump you right now in front of all of our friends. Yeah, like she doesn't have to do it right now, but this is her way of dealing with it.
Starting point is 00:52:19 So, so everyone's getting everything's getting set up. They're like setting up all the making they're decorating the whole place and everything and everyone's helping out except Hannah. Hannah's on the phone with Dez probably you know like showing her boob to him and like shit easy. Yeah Hannah, Hannah, what are you doing? We need a lot of help. I got my new axe. You like my new axe Hannah? You need to come on Hannah. Hannah. You like my new wax Hannah? You need to come on Hannah.
Starting point is 00:52:43 Hannah. I'm on the phone, but I'll help you. Okay, I'm coming. And she goes, so what's up on the phone? And everybody's mad at her. And I was like, she hasn't done anything today. And looks like I know what the frick, okay? You know what?
Starting point is 00:52:57 I'm glad that she's got desks now. I don't have to be accused of flirting with her when I say hello, okay? I mean, it's really lifted a weight off my shoulders. But jeez. I mean, I it's really lifted a weight off my shoulders, but geez. I mean, I sort of miss having that weight on my shoulders because I sort of burned a few more kilojoules when I did Peloton, but still, still.
Starting point is 00:53:13 Overall, I'm happy that's off my shoulders. I don't like that. So everybody's getting ready and dressed for this wedding now and Paige and Amanda are talking. I am Paige is like, you know what? Like, you have something old, something new, something borrowed, and if you have blue nails, and the man is like, I'm gonna cry right now.
Starting point is 00:53:31 You and me and Link is such an amazing friend this summer Kyle, like, I mean, so, I mean, I mean, always, but like, especially in the summer. I'm like, I always need me special in my life. And it's like, really man, obviously the summer because, my life And it's like really man obvious to the summer because you know It's like you got a monster from the swamp over here is supposed to be my friend And then you like a little princess from a castle and like I would love for you to be my prince Me I have like literally never been a prize made
Starting point is 00:54:01 Manly because I'm morally opposed to other people choosing a dress for me. But for you, I will do this. I will do this. This is a dress as you want bridesmaid thing, right? Or this? Do I have to match the other bridesmaids? Because that might make it look like I'm wearing a set. So Kyle's like, hey, Carl, I would be honored if you could be my best man.
Starting point is 00:54:29 And Carl's like, oh, yeah, yeah, I would love that. I would love that. Listen, I've always been, uh, behind Carl, a Kyle in a variety of ways, like, you know, like, his whole thing is a Sunday's for the boys. And for my thing, the whole thing is that Saturday's for the boys, just like a day a little early. I guess I would be late. I guess Friday's for his boys. So I'm a day later Yeah, I'm just trying to work it out anyway maturity and goals and having a shoot together like
Starting point is 00:54:51 He's been a great blueprint for me. Oh can't wait to walk in his shoes and meet a girl of my dreams jeet on her and then Live with that on a reality show can't wait. Can't wait It's gonna be amazing. Kyle, stop ping on the carpet. Bro, I gotta be a saver with this house. All right. Let's move on, blueprint.
Starting point is 00:55:10 That is my blueprint. Yeah, my JZ is my blueprint. So then everybody's dressed in kind of meeting in the living room or whatever. And then Carl's like, oh, it's your. You got red lips. I love red lips. Big red lip guy.
Starting point is 00:55:23 Okay, which is like saying big top of my guy, but I'm talking about red lips. I'm still lips big red lip guy, okay, which is like saying big top of my guy But I'm talking about red lips. I'm still it's it's I'm working on it, but you know what I have to say this ladies You look great ladies are great, and thank you. Thank you Carl Would anyone care for some top of not because Robert's made some and solutions. I think we shall have some big big Big top and odd god big big top top top top top top top that that's what call me. Yeah Oh by the way you guys, oh do I look at I'm like yeah you look good too like thanks like finally Thank you. I was going nuts Carl. I mean everyone looked really good Carl look good But I was going nuts because did you notice his blazer was like a cream but everything else was white and you would think that wouldn't matter
Starting point is 00:56:02 But it's like when you wear like black and navy, it's like, if you're not looking carefully, it's like who cares? But then as you notice, you're like, wait a second, it's not matching. I was going nuts. I want to know that I'm not alone in this. I also am aware I'm being ridiculous, but I just have to say no. No, no, I mean, I noticed it, but also Carl, it's just Carl, you know, like I don't know where Carl's money is or I don't know how much Carl pays him.
Starting point is 00:56:24 He probably pays him in love or boy and then tells him to sober up, you know Like I don't know how this relationship works I do know that when you have one pair of pants that you constantly wear that generally you don't have that much money because I do it You know, I've always done it. I've been like hey this has to match these this color old Navy jeans or I'm not buying it You know, so I think that's what he's doing. And there may be somebody long-timbed that that's your, that's my, seersucker. But yeah, I felt like I was like, I was like, I'm probably projecting because I've totally been that person that's like, I'm just gonna see if I can make this cream work with the white, you know, like I, or I've been that person that didn't realize.
Starting point is 00:57:03 And then afterwards, I saw the pictures and I was like, Oh, I've been that person that didn't realize, and then afterwards I saw the pictures, and I was like, oh, I was not matching at all, and I thought I was fully matched. So I get it, I'm not coming down on him, I'm just saying that the cream, I couldn't stop staring at it. I was like, that's cream, it's not white, it's cream. There, it's my second round of the episode.
Starting point is 00:57:21 I'm really killing it, guys, between the discussion about those windows without the blinds and the cream, I really feel like I'm on the pulse of this episode Summer house, you know, this is a petty shit summer house is like without this. What else would we talk about? I think it's important. It's important news. It's an important discussion, Ben. Thank you. Especially this really rough time in our country, you know, when we need to have these discussions. Thank you for making me feel better. especially this really rough time in our country, you know, when we need to have these discussions. Thank you for making me feel better.
Starting point is 00:57:47 Maybe you should never feel bad. Saturday's the most important. You never have to apologize to me, okay? Okay. Big top of not, guys. Big top of not. So then, say top of not. We know it's a season finale
Starting point is 00:57:58 because they're starting their housewives' endings where it's like, well, this is what happened to me this year and it starts to see our end. She's like, I like how to take such a leap this year. Like, I'm coming into a house with like a guy like I just hooked up with, but like, I really love it here. Like, well, good, you know, thanks for coming. Thanks for coming.
Starting point is 00:58:16 Oh, and also, and I'm too mentioned that, uh, Sierra is not dating the producer. I mentioned last week, our good friend, so sheal Medea, was telling us that she was dating a producer. Apparently that's like her gay best friend or something. And they're having a good, good. There you go. I'm intrigued to see Sierra on Winterhouse. I feel like Sierra, like I, I kind of wanted a little bit more from her. I don't know if maybe she had like nerves or she wasn't feeling comfortable,
Starting point is 00:58:43 but I didn't mean more. Like I'm pretty happy with what she had like nerves or she wasn't feeling comfortable, but I didn't mean I didn't need more Like I'm pretty happy with what she brought because she's so new and it's like she's just kind of the first years like your Year, where you just react to everyone else's bullshit and then when it came time for her to give some bullshit She gave it, you know, I think she gave it pretty well, but yeah, I'm I will see how winterhouses. I don't know I wasn't well here's the day. I like her I really liked her on this. And it's been very difficult to not judge her because of what I know about Winterhouse
Starting point is 00:59:09 because apparently she's dating Austin, which, I mean, you're basically dead to me now. It's insane. So. You're seen right now. Right. Yeah. So anyway, Sierra, yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:18 So she took a big leap of faith and she did it. Okay, great. So Lindsay is like, oh my god, it is chilly. It's like full-blown, it's Okay, great. So Lindsay is like, oh my god, it is chilly. It's like full blooms of ember. So she, um, she sits down with Stravy outside and she's like, Hi. So what are we doing? And he's like, um, lighting some candles, kind of my thing. Remember I drove out to the Hamptons with a bunch of votives, you know, candles, you know, the dead. She goes, goes she goes those are literally candles
Starting point is 00:59:48 They're real I was like I like had a conversation with Danielle like trying to connect that And like I realize I need to stop pushing you to the point that you need to run away and I was like okay now that's growth Yeah, just gross that sentence was growth that was gross. now that's growth. Yeah, just growth. That sentence was growth. That was growth. I'll take it. I'll take it. Um, and she's like, I have a ban on issues and like, that is like the worst thing that you can do for me. And he's like, yeah, well, I'm sorry for packing my stuff. I don't know why I did that. And she's like, well, I'm sorry for my part last night. And I think
Starting point is 01:00:20 last night showed me that I don't think that we're ready to live together just yet. But I want to make this work. So let's go buy the city and see if the pattern continues and oh, I just got a text from the future, it's gonna continue for sure. 100%. And she goes, but if you ever run away, it's over between us.
Starting point is 01:00:40 So it's like, okay, that's not gonna work, but still I saw some growth, liked it. So then Kyle and the matter are talking on their problems. You suck growth. Yeah, I mean, that's nature. It's nature, you know? Yeah, I don't want to eat it. I don't want to eat it.
Starting point is 01:00:54 I appreciate it. Yeah, I don't hate it. I don't like it. It's gross-match it or anything. I'm like, I'm old, you did it. Congratulations on your first season of Summer House mold. Congratulations, you found my tomato. You did great.
Starting point is 01:01:07 Contamato's are so tricky. I just had to throw. I'm sorry. Now here I go. I do it. I add these little cherry tomatoes. I love those. You know, and I like make like a tomato jam out of these.
Starting point is 01:01:18 So I had it and it was sitting there for like a week. And I was like, God damn this wax or whatever they put on these tomatoes. Really keeps these things gorgeous. I still look like they were just born and delivered, ready for me to make my little tomato jam. So I pull them out, pour them into the pan and there's one that is just almost purple, it's just covered in mold and machine.
Starting point is 01:01:38 Only wine, like what the hell? Why are the other tomatoes not acting like that? I was just wearing showing up and, hi, it's like, then you're like Alex McCord, although other tomatoes not acting like that? It's like, I'm just wearing showing up and, hi. It's like, then you're like, Alex McCord, although other tomatoes are Alex McCord, I literally, Ronnie, I literally had this issue yesterday. Two days ago, I went to the store,
Starting point is 01:01:54 I got a little thing of cherry tomatoes, and they were honestly the best cherry tomatoes that I've ever had in my life. I was like, these are, I've never had cherry tomatoes like this. They were just like, it was unlike anything, and I made like a little, I made a little thing, I put never had cherry tomatoes like this. They were just like, it was, it was unlike anything. And I made like a little, I mean, a little thing. I put them on some hummus. It was just delicious.
Starting point is 01:02:11 And then the next day, I was like, here I come, my prized little cherry tomatoes that are fresh from the store. And one was like, ah! I was like, what? And then I saw that like Jill Zaron had gone her Zaron fabrics over some of the other tomatoes and on the container.
Starting point is 01:02:24 And I was like, ugh, so I like saved the ones that seemed like they were untouched, but the other time they were moldy. I was like, how did that have, you're like my best cherry tomatoes ever and you molded over in one day? That was so not cool. Yeah, one thing I'll tell you is vegetables are in fair.
Starting point is 01:02:41 They are. So then we go to Kallana Madden, they're talking about, oh my God, it's like crazy, they're getting married Kyle. It smells real. It feels real. It's like, let's do it like every day and tell me, really, get married. So every day, I can be like, I can't believe we're doing this to me on my wedding day. Meanwhile, this is season three. I've just talked about this wedding that is not a ride. I just want to point this out.
Starting point is 01:03:07 They got engaged on season three, and we're finishing season five, and they're still not married, okay? So then the page is like, I'm gonna get hammered at this reception. So then Amanda, they, so Amanda and Kyle walk outside. They've set up the staircase in the front door.
Starting point is 01:03:24 They had to move the Amazon Prime Packages out of the way. And everyone's standing along the staircase. And Amanda's like, oh my God, I'm gonna cry again. I'm like, big shocker. I mean, Amanda opens up a can of tuna fish. She's like, Kyle, I'm gonna cry. And Paige goes, oh my God, I can't wait for the reception. I'm gonna get hammered.
Starting point is 01:03:44 And I guess, oh, 50% of merch is under the horse. Just kidding. And then they walk down the stairs and Stravy shakes Kyle's hand. And does this weird thing with his face where it's almost like he does like a Sharon personation and goes, grunts. Grunts, stop that, Stravy.
Starting point is 01:03:59 He's not doing Shared Kyle right now. And all that Kyle really will walk down the aisle just like he does in this, because he goes, hey, buddy, hey, buddy. It's like his call to the other straight guys,
Starting point is 01:04:14 speaking of nature. It's like if straight guys need to find each other, you know, that's what they do. That's like their, that's their straight guy call. Yeah, buddy. Thank you, DJ Polly Day for bringing that to us. So they arrive and Carl, Carl receives them at the altar
Starting point is 01:04:32 exactly how you think Carl would. Hi guys. Hey guys. OK, I'm going to be a preacher this weekend. Do you know that? Well, I've told you, but you guys, I am now able to perform weddings. I am Father Ronnie. Okay. Got ordained. So I'm going to go perform my first wedding for my little sweetheart, Julia, who I love very much. And so I've been stressing out,
Starting point is 01:04:56 like, I don't know what I'm going to do for a wedding. Like what the fuck do you say? Like, hey, hey girl, you know, especially me, like, hey, welcome to a wedding. This wasn't legal for me about five minutes ago, but glad to be here So I've been like looking stuff up on the internet. I'm just gonna do Carl's speech because she likes summer house So I'm just gonna be like oh, welcome family and friends and lover boys Today we gather here to like look right in my pants, right? Yeah, my jeans nailed it Sometimes in life life is like Today we gather here to like look right in my pants, alright? Yeah. Oh my jeans nailed it. Nailed it. Nailed it. Sometimes in life, life is like a jar of olives.
Starting point is 01:05:31 You're just an olive. Someone else is an olive, you're just in a brine. And you come together and you make a beautiful top of the odd. And we're like a big top of odd. Big top of odd. You know what they're saying? When life gives you olives, big top of the odd. Big top of the odd guy. Yeah, big listen. I like the service mainly because
Starting point is 01:05:49 Big top is sort of like you're almost sorry to say big top and all you know big top and all gun You know marriage is perhaps one of the most challenging well math But also marriage is like super challenging and, I just want you guys to know, but like, I might be ready to get married, maybe soon. So like, if anybody here knows somebody, I've changed a lot, right? I've grown. Okay, where was I?
Starting point is 01:06:13 If everyone's wondering, hey, this alter shrink, no, the alter is not shrink. I've just grown a lot. That's all. Um, by the way, Ronnie, I would say my tip, because actually I ordained a wedding a few years ago and and just from going to Of course you did you had Reboot Reboot
Starting point is 01:06:35 Reference, okay, no, but I would say that Well, there goes my business. No, Ben and Ronnie, we can just go across America marrying people. That's a great reality show I split this check. Okay, I'm doing this on my own. This is my marriage is okay. You do your wedding I do mine and then people vote but okay, don't make it about yourself That's what I have to say because I have gone to so many weddings where like a friend has been the efficient and what this What happens you sit down and someone goes? the first time I met Sally, we went to a bar and I was like,
Starting point is 01:07:12 we are gonna be friends for life. And she was always fun and she was always so cool. And then one day she came back and she's like, this is Robert. And the moment I met Robert, I was like, they are gonna last forever. They are so funny. And I remember we would go out to dinner
Starting point is 01:07:30 and it's like, oh my God, I don't need to know. I'm not here for a speech. I'm not here for a speech about you. I'm sure you're not like for the dinner speech, right? Yeah, people often confuse toast with like a ceremony. Just say something nice about the idea of like being together with someone. Yeah, right.
Starting point is 01:07:46 It should just be like, hey everybody, welcome to the friends and family. Love is such a beautiful thing and these two are so in love. And like honestly, you know, seeing them together literally I'm hard right now. I'm like, I'm after made at five times before coming. Oh, just wanted to say how did the parents, both sets of parents, high guys,
Starting point is 01:08:03 glad you could be here. Glad I made it. Anybody else have a bow to it right now? Oh, just wanted to say hi to the parents. Both sets of parents. Hi guys. Glad you could be here. Glad I made it. Anybody else have a bow to it right now. And I mean, why would you ask me to do your wedding? I would. Yeah. That's what I'm doing.
Starting point is 01:08:15 The Smirrage Fuzzle part. Do not call me. I will be busy. Okay. No. That's what I'm doing. But anyway, yeah, I'm going to do the Carl style. Yeah, do Carl style.
Starting point is 01:08:24 Yeah. You can weave in an anecdote. You can weave in one anecdote, but the rest should be inspirational. No, because the anecdotes I tell just aren't appropriate for a wedding. Like, you know, like, you know, yeah, being wasted with YouTube's always been the time of my life.
Starting point is 01:08:42 You know, look, what do you say? No one wants an anecdote from me. Okay, no one has to say it. And the family doesn't really, you know, most of the family doesn't know me. Like, I feel like it's most imperant. It's most imperant. It's most important for the parents.
Starting point is 01:08:53 And her mother is one of my best friends from here. She used to be in my roommate. So she's no problem. But I don't know all the rest of the parents and grandparents and stuff. So I've learned, you don't need Ronnie Flavor at your wedding. I got that lady praying on tongues at me at that wedding I told you about
Starting point is 01:09:09 where she thought I was such a sinner that she's like, push me up against a wall and pray tongues on me was like, tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt because I did the risky business dance and blocks her shorts. And oh my God, I didn't know they were fundamentalists. Jesus. Oh, yeah, that would be a problem at a fundamentalist way. I'm just keep this.
Starting point is 01:09:28 It's in the name. Yeah. But you know, I say just steal an anecdote from patty lapone and be like, listen, my anecdotes with you are not appropriate. So here's one from patty lapone that she had with burned up eaters and just tell it like it. Just tell it. Yeah it, just tell it. Yeah, I think you're right.
Starting point is 01:09:47 I'm gonna be like, guys, what's new Buenos Aires? I'm new and I wanna say I'm just a little bit stuck on you. You're all being on me too. I wish I could go this wedding. So anyway, so curl. Summer house. Summer house. Summer house. Okay, he's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, okay, we're gonna get right to it.
Starting point is 01:10:09 Oh, because I'm hungry. I'm literally ready to, I'm growing, but I'm also shrinking. Okay, I need some food. Okay. So, do you, Amanda, take this man to be an off-life water husband for the love of a boy, do you part? Yes, Kyle. And you, Kyle, take Amanda, till she makes work amole.
Starting point is 01:10:29 Yeah. Right. I'm going to piss on it right now. So then we get to the dinner and Robert has catered this dinner. And it's amazing. Yes. It's like both try hard and amazing because it's like way too much work for what he's required to do as a newbie, but it's also kind of showing Hannah like to see.
Starting point is 01:10:52 This is someone who cares what your friends think, right? Yeah, this is someone who doesn't care about you. But I don't want to marry him. Yeah, yeah, I love him. So they're eating and I'm at the post-carlos side and Carl's like, yeah, you know what I'm at you? Like, I'm at you like you I just have always loved you. You have a beautiful relationship and she's like you're gonna be right up there with this Kyle Married people do that where they like congratulate you on being in their wedding like congratulations
Starting point is 01:11:15 You're gonna be a bright-smade wow Congratulations, you're gonna have greater financial obligations to this event now Your next two years is mine, bitch. By the way, we should also mention that as they went to the table, Luke started a fire and Ciaracus, you can not damn fire. So, yeah. So, Carl's like, he's like, yeah, you know what, when I first met you, like the way you've been with him, like you guys, like you've had a beautiful relationship,
Starting point is 01:11:45 it's like, I know it's been like up and down, you know, when you cheated on you. Remember that? But I see something in your guys that's like, really beautiful. I'm basically, like, has some top and odd right now if you're a shoulder. It's just so beautiful.
Starting point is 01:11:58 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Um, so then they have, and he's like, yeah, I like her. Like every guy wants his girl to like, improve him. Right? I's like, yeah, I like Carl. Like, every guy wants his girl to like improve him. Right? I'm like, oh, God. Guess who doesn't want to hear that? Girls. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:15 Except for the car. I really want a girl to fix me. That's totally what I want. So then, dinner, I'm out. It's a trap, girls, by the way. Girls, when you hear Carl say that, that is a trap. He is setting you up. He's just like a sweet boy who wants to be fixed.
Starting point is 01:12:28 Good luck. You're gonna see with him and then off to Barry's boot camp counselor again. Yeah. Every time a guy says, like, you know, I am something and you make me better, means that when he cheats on you, he's just gonna say,
Starting point is 01:12:42 but you knew I was like this. Like you knew I was like, you knew I'm a working progress. Like I'm growing, all right. I said I want to be a grown. I said I'm growing. I'm taking a slow. I'm taking a slow.
Starting point is 01:12:54 So yeah. So I'm representing all the food. Like all this beautiful food. And Sierra's like, I didn't even know I wanted to date a chef until now. I'm like, Sierra, chef should be number one on the list at all times. Of course you should. Yeah, they're never home.
Starting point is 01:13:08 Yeah, they're never home. They're very angry. Yeah, don't marry a chef. Also, they don't generally cook like that at home. Okay. In my experience, you do not want to marry a chef. Yeah. Just hire one.
Starting point is 01:13:20 You want to marry someone who has enough money to hire a chef. Okay. Oh, Ronnie, you totally got that one right. That was just about. Thank you. Yeah, that was perfect. So we get a speech from Paige and she's like, I remember when I met Amanda, it was like
Starting point is 01:13:34 a hot summer night. My outfit looked like it costs $800, but it costs 20. And we ordered Caesar salads and rosé. And I went home and I told my friends, thank you. Believe it or not, it was less than $20. Also, I met this hot bitch. Really like that. She, she's like me.
Starting point is 01:13:52 We both love the Caesar salad. And which was good because that way we both could have Caesar salad breath and not like even care. It was like, we're like two peas in a pot. Except not peas. Just like, like, she was like a tank. And I was like, the skirt. And we're just like one set together, but it wasn't set at all. Just looked like a set. I don't like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,
Starting point is 01:14:06 I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,
Starting point is 01:14:14 I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,
Starting point is 01:14:22 I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like So I'm just like, I'm just like so happy for you. And I'm also so excited to be your real bridesmaid in your real wedding that no one else has, and I'm sure no one else has that privilege. I'm just gonna announce it right now. I'm so excited to be the real bridesmaid. I love you so much. Just to Hannah's face. I'm so upset. And Amanda goes, I love you! Oh, that was lovely, that was lovely. Thank you so much.
Starting point is 01:14:49 Yeah, so Hannah's like, well, it's hard, because it was always the three of us, but this summer I chose to stick up to Kyle and Paige chose to stay quiet. So I guess this is her reward for not saying what she really thinks about Kyle. It's called, that's just like life. Like, if we've all had friends who have dated or in relationships with people we don't like.
Starting point is 01:15:15 And if you like that person, if you like your friend, like, you just kind of just, No, you do, well, you suck it up. You suck it up, you just fake it. Like, and if you don't suck it up, yeah, you don't get to be bridesmaids. But if you are like, I have to stand up to him, it's like, that's cool.
Starting point is 01:15:31 If that makes you feel good, that's cool, but just know you will probably now lose access to certain friendship privileges. And that's just, that's just like. Right, and this is also, this is also Hannah, like trying to stick it to page, right? Cause she's like, yeah, well, Paige really hates Kyle. And she's been talking magic about Kyle.
Starting point is 01:15:48 So now she's trying to cause shit between Amanda and Paige because she's gel. Like, same. So then Hannah's like, did you know that? And she goes, no, didn't know about that. So then Carl gives a speech to you. And he's like, the first time I met Kyle, I don't even remember. I don't remember where it was. Like, like, Mont first time I met Kyle, I don't even remember. I remember where it was. Like, Montau.
Starting point is 01:16:06 Montau. Was it? Wait, Montau? Was it my apartment? Or Montau? It was where. Oh. Was it Connecticut?
Starting point is 01:16:14 Did we go to Greenwich? Is it Montau? I don't remember. I was in White Jeans. I can tell you that. I mean, just like a lot of averages. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:22 Wait, was it Club Monaco? Was it there? It was a banana. It it was banana, right? Jake root. Jake root. Uh, so they do, he ends his toast with more Kyle, more Manda, more live. Yeah, and then it's back to crazy dancing, crazy, crazy carl dancing. Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap, Wap,apwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwap So let's see they basically Daniel and Robert have the talk. She's like, oh, I know it's been a week
Starting point is 01:17:06 But I just want you to know where I stand. I want you and I want to be with you And he's like, well, I've been putting what a boyfriend would into this situation because like it's just what we are My platter of salmon like what part of that doesn't say exclusive This I think is a good relationship. Is it the most exciting? No, is it the most delicious? Yes. And when somebody's just like, you know what?
Starting point is 01:17:32 I'm not going to be afraid. I really fucking like you. And he's like, yeah, duh. I like you, too. We're supposed to be together. Yeah, I literally just met all your friends. If you are in a born relationship on TV, that means you're doing it right. Because If you're in a relationship that we are actively talking about and making fun of or laughing about,
Starting point is 01:17:51 you got problems. It's bad. You got problems. Brent. If your biggest issue is that he ate all the petrings, then that's good. You're in a good place. So then we basically end with jumping in the pool naked, which are not really naked, but they all jump in the pool because that's like their tradition at the
Starting point is 01:18:12 end of the summer. And pages like, there isn't now one I would electively pick to spend six weeks with them, these side cows. That includes you. That includes you, Perry. But I say no one, that you are part of the no one, okay? For as incestuous and ridiculous as our friendships are and how we are in each other's business, I wouldn't change this summer for a second. I wouldn't even have my boyfriend here. I actually explicitly would make sure
Starting point is 01:18:38 that that's the part that would say the same the most. And then, Blink, blink, blink, blink, blink,, my camera's closed, turn off. And then next, so next, next week, we have our reunion. And for the first time ever, Summer House is has a proper set. They have a, they're not in the clubhouse, they're not on Zoom. They have sofas that look like they are from a teakK collection from Wayfair. And this is a big, big, you know, they've arrived. They've arrived. They are on a proper stage. So congratulations Summer House. You did it. Congrats, Summer House.
Starting point is 01:19:15 All right, everybody. Well, that brings us to the end of season 5 of Summer House. We'll be back next week with the reunion. We're the biggest question. It's about a hand job. But I'm excited about. You can always tell us some of our house for shit like that. We have a big week of shows next week. So stay tuned, subscribe, buy tickets to our live show,
Starting point is 01:19:39 and all that fun stuff. Support us on Patreon. If you feel like it, if you feel like doing other things, that's fine too. We'll still be here. Have a great weekend everyone, and we'll talk to you next time. Bye! Bye! Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors!
Starting point is 01:19:54 Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take nobelone! She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella. Itchels, Danacee, Danadou. Let's rent some errands with them a lierians. Aaron McNickles. She don't miss no trickle-us. Hava Nagilo Weber.
Starting point is 01:20:11 Jamie. She has no last name-y. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. Jess Sayin' okay. She's a little bit loony. Juni. She's always sublion. It's Kelly Ryan.
Starting point is 01:20:22 Kristen the Piston Anderson. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the burger! You don't touch the Nicki Morgan lettuce! There ain't no problem that Sarah Solvia can't solve you. The Bay Area Betches! Betches! And our super premium sponsors? Nancy's Season Desisto! Better than tabooly, it's Annie and Julie!
Starting point is 01:20:44 Let's give them a kiss, it's Annie and Julie! Let's give him a kissa! It's Austin and Marissa! Somebody get us ten C's of Betsy MD! Always the wiser, it's Allison Weasler! We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva! She's cheese on a bagel, it's Megan Ragle! Erica, 500 days of summers! We will, we will Joanna Rockland you! The incredible edible Matthewsisters.
Starting point is 01:21:06 Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. No one makes us feel well like Megan Capciwell. Mina Kutty Kutty Kutty. Give him help, Miss Noel. Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. And have a meal without the Emily sides. Shannon, out of account in Anthony. Let's get Racy with Miss Daisy. Let's take off with Tamla Plane.
Starting point is 01:21:28 She ain't no shrinking Violet Coochar. We love you guys. Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watch Your Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com Slash Survey.

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