Watch What Crappens - SummerHouse: So Many Fingering Doubts - Live from Omaha

Episode Date: February 23, 2020

On Summer House, love is in the air — but like, in the same way asbestos might be in the air if you go to the wrong building. Lindsay and Carl are official, and so now it's time for them to go on their first date! In this case, that means supermarket sushi on a rooftop with Fireball. Never have we wished more for an actual fireball to descend upon them. Meanwhile, Kyle and Amanda have run out of passion, and Luke still wants to get with Hannah. Why do we love this show so much?? See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm a fan of the crowd, I'm a fan of the crowd, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan of the movies, I'm a fan Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. You're fucking nutcases and omah, you're animals. Yeah, it sounded like we were at like a rally backstage.

I was like, are we running for president? What's happening? Well, at this point, we've just fucking might. How's everybody doing? It's so good to be here. I know. You've got a gorgeous group of men in this town. Oh, yeah. That Midwestern corn fed show is real.

Yeah. Now what I know, I know what they mean when they say corn fed. My god. What a great way to be fed. All three range for R all over this place. Oh my God. So much R. I'm so excited to be here. The home of the world famous Omaha Zoo.

And Omaha stakes. Are they are Omaha stakes actually from Omaha? Warren Buffett, right? Yes. Just waking, you just get to get moves. Those are dressing her and pulling a wiki to get some moves. That's what Ben's doing. I know, just pandering to the audience. What can I say?

He's on a woo hunt. He loves his woo! Well, so we had a great drive today from Lawrence Fucking Kansas. Yeah. We went to a casino that really filled me with hope. I don't know how you feel when you walk in. I felt hope in humanity. I was like, please don't let me get old here.

Please don't let me get old here. It was a gorgeous casino. Tito, Jackson, will be playing there shortly. In next month, so. You know I support all the T-dos. All the T-dos. I love the T-dos. It was really, so we actually recorded a bonus episode

in the car, but I have to say, the thing that was the strangest thing that happened to me at the casino was that when Ronnie went to the bathroom. So we walked in and he goes to the bathroom, so I'm waiting for the bathroom. It's called going to work. Yeah, some of us, all right. So, you know, I did the standard thing, which is that he was in the bathroom, so I stood near the bathroom door, right? So I married now, we're basically, I was like, I hope he's safe in there. I'm told in my I stood near the bathroom door, right? So I like- We're married now, we're basically all.

I hope he's safe in there. It's holding my purse outside the bathroom. OK, we know it. Could you stand and you be me? And I'm going to tell it, because I need to be visual for this. So that's OK, to make sure you stand. Sure. So this is Ronnie.

Ronnie's going to be me. And basically, he's standing by a wall. By a wall, that's me right there. And this is what happens. There's a little old lady, and this is what she does to me. I got ram-rotted by a little old lady in the casino. Have you ever had someone just walk up behind you and just crash into you? I wasn't in the middle of me space.

No, he made that face for the next seven minutes. I know, I was shocked. I was like, Ronnie, a little old lady crashed into me. I had already established my presence. I don't know what happened. Well, do you know how hard it is walking straight with like a bucket of nickels and an oxygen tank behind you? Give the lady a present.

She had nothing. It was she was wasted. They're in a past of follow. Yeah. She went, she made it to the bathroom. I say, she had a lady for president. She had to pee. And she crashed into someone in the bathroom too,

because all I heard from the bathroom was, oh, I'm sorry, no, no, don't worry about it. I was like, she's just busting through. She's like the cool-aid man, but the old lady version. This old lady's reign of terror, because she, you know, just knocked it. I was like, she's just busting through. She's like the cool-aid man, but the whole lady version. This old lady's reign of terror, the casino, just not good. And then you walk away and you realize your money's gone. Yeah. We have the most lovely alcoholic coin-changed lady come around. I'll give you some log for Will and for Chann. I'll give you some log. It's Kim Richards. I was gonna say, I was gonna say in 30 years, it was like Kim Richards.

It was. Imagine Kim Richards with a utility belt and a badge. It's not that far off right on the real Kim Richards. She was just missing a target cart full of dollars shit. She was like about to run out into the parking lot with. Yeah, she was great. She was cheering Rani on. Rani was playing Wheel of Fortune slots.

And she was like, Rani, go Rani. I was like, I'm lucky, I'm lucky. I bring people luck. And I'm looking around like, bitch, you got a lot of work to do, you know? Yeah. It's like Mother Teresa only working in the saddest places ever. Yeah.

We had basically a great time. That's the point. We had a a great time. That's the point. We had a great, great trip. I want $196. And I convinced that the door man hated me on the way out. Ben says I'm projecting. But when we walked in, he was like, hey, fellas, yeah, you're doing. And I was like, fucking great.

Thank you. And then I think they were like, they're leaving with our money. That's $96, you know, and he was like Bad gentlemen. I was like whoa. I was like what a lovely man. I'm just like fuck you. I'm taking this money I was I was like get your finger off my butter finger you'll fuck up here It's like ocean to 11 to that place Well like ocean to love into that place. Well, normally Omaha's Omaha, but tonight, that's, whoa, okay?

Whoa, hey! Because we're in town. I guess I should just left it with Omaha. Just left it with Omaha. I did that out. I did that out. Yeah, yeah. All right, so tonight we are lucky enough

to be here to recap Summer house Welcome to watch our crap and the podcast about all their crap on bravo. We love to watch Summer house the classiest show on television. Yes Really great really great You know how you see things on TV and you just want them? I want an STD so badly. Like I know that they're all...

Yeah. I feel like you're really not a part of that group until you're scabbing over somehow. Yeah. I just feel like so I'm loved. I know. I can't wait to see what happens with Luke now that he's in the house. Oh my god. So do you think Luke is going to stay nice or is he going to turn into a massage

and just fucking pig? Like everybody else on Broadway? I don't trust Luke because Luke has actually been really nice to us so far on Instagram. He keeps re-gramming our stuff. And he's always like, hey guys, go check out this podcast. It's so nice. They're so funny.

And I'm like, why do I feel like Rachel Lee Cook? And he's Freddie Prince Jr. And he made a dare with someone to take us to the prom. But he has no intention of dating us. I know. We're always ducky in this situation. Yeah. Always.

Because I'm about to walk down that staircase in my prom dress. And if I get my heart broken by Luke, I don't know. I won't be able to take it. Yeah, because people who are usually supportive do horrible, horrible things later on. And they're just like, you know, like, please be nicer. But listen, we're already nice to him, because he's privileged.

He's hot privilege. He's hot privilege. And I believe in giving hot people a chance. They always is a very, very good. Yeah. Do whatever you want to me. I don't care. You're hot. You earned it. Yeah. Hot people always should be. They're an over again. Do whatever you want to me. I don't care. You're hot.

You earned it. Yeah. Hot people always should be at the front of the line. Always. Anyway, so. Anyone hot for president? Yeah. Anyone hot for president.

Anyone hot for president? I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm like, I forgive you. You're hot. You get your push-ups.

You earned this. Exactly. Exactly. That's exactly how I feel. So summer House, one thing I noticed this episode, which is not important to anything in the world, but to me, it feels very important, is I realized that this season, they stopped doing their narration of the previously.

Do you remember that? Yes, they would all take turns. It used to be like, last time on Summer House, Amanda made guacamole, and I made a fuss. You know? And they got rid of that. Yeah. They did get rid of it.

Let's just bring it back. Yeah, okay, let's do it. Hey, me and Leon Summer. No. I'm like obsessed with you. You're like my best friend, and I just feel like we should give this a shot. Jules is single-wide, female in pain. And Carl and I knew, signing that, maybe I wasn't timing it, time to time.

Put your weight on me, Lindsay. Put your weight on me, Lindsay. Put your weight on me. Yeah. I feel like this is a much more artistic town than most that we play. Sorry, New York. Yeah. But I feel like Trixi Monical isn't even singing in Omaha.

I feel like it's, I was backstage watching some LA Opera shit. Like LA Opera is like doing Queen Elizabeth the Opera. And I thought, you know, let's bring that to this. Yeah, let's class up Trixie's share. So today's Trixie monocle. Monocle. I'm gonna be me get out of my way.

Get out of my way. Get out of my way, I'm out of my way. It was a haunting, a haunting urge. Which of course led into some bitch doing kind of stance. Yeah. It was true. It was just what happened in the LA opera too. Wait, I just have to go back for one little thing, which is, because I just realized I had written this down,

that this is what the actual previouslys were. It literally goes previously on Summer House. Kyle fingered me. I was like, wow. That is, okay, we have a Blake Breaking news. Freshly finger-banged. Oh my god, that's dirty. Beautiful way in the front row row who has one of the best

teachers that's ever been made for a crap and show. It says Freshly Fingerbang. Rosemary Rosemary. Rosemary's been freshly finger banged by Carl. I'm gonna take a picture of that girl. Hold on. That is amazing. Wow. There's something really wonderful about our fans. I can't put a finger on it, but I... Yeah, let's go take a...

Yeah, everyone take that in. Rosemary, really. Oh. It's gonna be hard to beat Rosemary. Wow. Thank you Rosemary for that amazing t-shirt. She's freshly finger-banged, so everyone. Lindsay is here to come storming.

Do you hear, I'm excuse me, sort of mine. Say mine. I got the finger to contract. No. Does anybody else still walk around just going, I got the taco contract. Yes. I do it all the time.

I say everything. People are like, what are you talking about? So then we, so there's a party going on in the house, because of course, and we see Lindsey, we just like come back to her, because Lindsey and Carl were sitting on a picnic blanket last time we saw them, so they're still on the blanket. So I'm like, oh, yeah, because you imagine what that blanket is covered in.

That's what I see there. She was like, oh. It's the first picnic in the history of picnics where ants actually flee. They're like, there's gotta be some other wipe red. This was not the wipe red I was talking about So Lindsay's You don't know that Anyway, so we just go back to Lindsay and Carl. They're like Lindsay's like I like you

I'm like you. So can we go on the date? And she's like, and then she bends over for him. She's like this. He was like, oh, yeah. And he goes, I feel good. Yeah, and he goes, I feel good. Get your ass out of the camera, ma'am.

And they're like terrible like wipe on tan. It's like her thong. You just see like the lines of her butt crack. So car goes, you know, they always say you shouldn't date your best friend, but I'll be honest. I'm very, very nervous, and I don't wanna mess it up. My car all, you messed it up already. Like, it's automatically messed up.

It's you and Lindsay. It's an disaster. And this is what happens on these days, especially with Carl, he's like, I just wanna tell you the truth, like I'm totally insecure because my dad cheated on my mom. So that when he fucks like nine other people this evening,

he can be a told you else in secure. Yeah, I'm working on myself. You don't date broken people. Unless you like them like that. Like I love a broken person, you know. Yeah, just don't try to fix them. Just keep them broken. You know, fix people or no fun.

No, no, they're very boring. Mary a fixed person, date a broken person. So then we go over to Luke who's trying to start the grill. He's like, oh, I wonder what's going on with the grill over here. This is not lighting up. And then I don't know why I felt the need to share with everyone that he's trying to turn on a grill. But then it's so hot. I write down everything he does, too.

I'm like, Luke, walk across the backyard. He's like, he's like, I don't know. Here we are, the backyard. It's pretty fun. Used to more snow, but this is good. I'm like, it's sort of weird. I sort of thought I was hot enough just to start the grill just by me being me, but that's OK. So then we have, all right, there's a cards.

That was Luke outside, by the way. He's like, hey, anyone need some popsicles to know? So anyway, by the way, if you hear people talking and you're trying to listen to this show because we are recording this, feel free to tell them to shut up because we will kick you out. Hey, yeah, shut up.

We love you. Just give you a fair warning at the start of the show. Fair warning. Yeah, because you know our ass has turned into Karen. Yeah, we should have to care. And we speak to the manager. I will get a manager. 2020, we're kicking people out.

Yeah. OK, so Paige is just walking around alone in her bathing. See, like Paige's storyline this season is she's dating someone really hot and rich. And so we're supposed to feel really bad for her. Yeah. I'm sorry. So she's dating someone really hot and rich, and so we're supposed to feel really bad for her. Yeah. I'm sorry.

So she's trying. Let's start a charity for Paige. I know. Let's start a go-fun me. I would really be into that. I'm just fucking lucky. Yeah. So then Lindsay's in her room, and she's like,

um, Dundee Esthala Telephono. He's like, oh, I don't know her. All right, let's going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one.

I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm available? Uh, it turns in. I won't allow it, but we hold on. I got to call you to line. I won't. Is this your L.A.? Lindsay. I'm not a good time. I'm talking to Carlito. It's every toe. I saw you from across the room and the rice patting via by.

And I said that square booby little lady is gonna be the lady I yell at in Applebee for the rest of my fucking life, woman. I can't believe you're calling me right now and you didn't even call me to you. They're saying, I'm alright! I just want you to know that every time I close my eyes and hear sirens outside, crashing into ambulance, it's crashing into police cars, crashing into phone poles. I think of you talking on the phone. The sound of your heart grading voice that I'll hear until the day I die Would you be open to fingering me?

Wow, I miss have read on this if only that orchestra knew how their music was being used For fingering jokes. Yeah. So they're like really playing this. And we're on Cobbong. Thing really hard. I don't buy it. But you know what?

Also, I'm not shopping for it. So it doesn't really matter. Like it's not my thing. You know, I don't want to buy. I don't want to shop for it. You need to shut up over there. I'll kill that whole table. Yes.

They don't even realize. They don't even realize. They start talking. I'll kill my whole table. Yes. They don't even realize. They don't even realize this is all-king. Security. Security. Security. Security. Are we just like doing Karen Huber voice also, by the way?

I know. We wonder why no one takes us seriously when we call for security. Yeah. And everyone just laughs. Those crazy people. Yeah. So anyway, Hannah starts Facetiming with Armand and

She's like she's like Armand you could be in this hot tub right now, but you play in but we haven't actually met Armand yet So we don't know what the deal. Yeah, we met Armand. We did it. Remember he brought Hannah coffee last week and the radios in the radio show You know what you're right. I forgot. Sorry. The old time radio station. Yeah, remember Armand was like hello I brought you some coffee bra. It's like, yeah, thanks, bra. Yeah, that's our mom's. Spacey like Carl with a yogurt bubble in his throat. You know when you get a yogurt bubble. It's like it's Carl and she and I made babies together. Mom.

Bro. So Hannah's like, I feel like our mom does my best friend and I can show them to my parents. But then there's Luke, who makes my vagina tingle? So I'm wondering who's gonna win out on that one. Yeah, so I cannot let my hormones decide what's best for me right now. So she's flirting with Luke. So I come in the hot tub, like flashing a boob. Yeah. I remember when I, so I come in the hot tub like flashing a boob. Yeah

I remember when I first saw my wife in that hot tub saying get over here. Get on the tip The story we always wanted to our children So then there's like more activity. It's more like party in the hamptons party in the hamptons And then there's this like one shot of Hannah trying to give someone Like hoist someone up for a keg sandwich. He's like, I'm really strong don't worry. I'm really strong I then you see this poor woman just be like Just like It was one of the things like it was just you know, it's not like the shock waves as poor woman

This is not the cast you want to play the trust the trust fall game. Yeah, the trust keg. You don't want to do that. When the fall game, I will never do a cake. Keke's in on camera for that exact reason, because I don't want to be the one when the camera's rolling where I got dropped on my stomach. Because I know it will happen and it has happened. That would totally be us.

So then Jules goes to check on page who we know is really sad because she's in a white bathing suit walking around the house very slowly. Yeah. So she's in the bathroom like, and she'll just like, not not it's joy. Just want to get an update on maybe what you're wearing if you had an outfit change. Just need to know if I need to update my look too. That's all. I'm crying too.

I'm sad about Perry also. Perry. I'm naming a guy named Perry too. Heard. So hard. I'm so sorry if you paid right now. And Perry is like, it's OK. I'm just crying.

You can come in. So she comes and she goes, what can we do? Write, now, pitch. Write, now, the stuff you're crying, pitch. Write, now. The urgency is so real. It's so real. She's like the cutest stalker ever.

I know. Like an adorable stalker. Which is how they always get you, by the way. So then we then go over to Morsehound because, by the way, in case anyone forgot, Kyle and Amanda are at a wedding on Amanda's side of the family. So of course, Kyle's at the table. We're like, yeah, we're at the, we're at the, we're at the, we're at the, we're at the least not be that, you know. Amanda just like.

He's like, you want to do a soapy? And she's like, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. Oh. He's being like going back and forth on the bell hop thing. You know, you've got to call the like, it's like, come on. So Kyle's basically like, he starts telling us, he's like, you know, it's really hard

bringing it this wedding and like having to put on a happy face for all of Man does family about this wedding venue that we don't even have yet. I'm like, seriously, I guarantee that no one cares about the wedding venue Like have you ever cared about like someone else's wedding venue? Yes, you met it out of at a wedding? Yes You better have that in air condition. I don't care where it is. It could be in a it could be in a truck stop bathroom As long as there's an air conditioner. I don't care

We're doing it at my own. I don't know. They have the sack, the sack fox casino. That's good weather. Yeah. I have a lot of luck with people, and we're really lucking. Ha, ha, ha. So now the parties over, things are, like, there's things are simmering down. People leaving, they're all cleaning up.

Thank God for Danielle. Danielle's like, you know what I love to do? And I'm wasting. I love to do in a booster I love to clean yeah all right now I see why they brought you back yeah to it right back clean it we'll get you the L.I. Double R is coming up soon so I like to tell Danielle the vacuum this fucking how I'm on it life of the party vacuum party so then so then Luke is like hey Hannah you want to go to the Oh, I'm on it! Life of the party, back in party. So then, Luke is like, hey Hannah, you want to go to the pantry to make out,

which of course it'd be like, yes. Yeah. And then, but you know what I love about Hannah? Her response is, why are you trying to pursue me when you know you have no chance? I was like, God, I love that she can play hard to get with someone so hot. Like, yeah, I would never be able to.

And she can also do it with just such a fucked up drunk face. She's like, does make up. Yeah, like, one half of her face is down here. And she's in the hot tub and saying, What do you come after me? And you know you got no chance, huh? Yeah. Like, she might have been in there a half an hour too long,

so she's actually just hallucinating. She's just seeing goofy just there. She's like, eh, like your work. You know, you can come at me and say you don't have a chance, but you've had a boyfriend ever since they met you. And just saying, I'm like, oh, God, here we go with I'm just saying. I can't. I can't with another.

Just saying. Just saying. Just saying. But he's so nice. He's like, well, I want you to tell me if you like him because if you like him, I'll back off. I was like, he is too hot to be that nice. Yeah.

There's something wrong with him. Something's severely wrong. I think so. I think when you go after somebody you can't get There's something wrong with you. That's what I do like. I'm like, oh my god. You know who I'm in love with Bruce Willis That is my soul mate. I'll just pick somebody like I don't know them They're like way out of my there's some straight guy. You know, I don't know. I'm my cum cronin that's my man

I'm totally in love. Is it weird that's my man. I totally love. Is it weird that I can oddly imagine Bruce Willis being a new cast member on the show? Like, he just like sits around just stairs intensely at people and says like, yeah. You know, I'll play some guitar and people like, why is Bruce Willis here? Yeah, fucking Bruce Willis.

Oh, I forgot he had his band. Yeah, his band. His band. Well. Secret Asian man. Secret Asian man. I always thought he was saying secret Asian man. I had the album when I was growing up. So.

Point is Hannah. Okay. So Hannah is like, I wasn't really looking for anyone. But. I ain't really looking for anyone, but... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH He goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, Everything is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking.

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Mina Kuchi Kuchi Kuchi! And, she ain't no shrinkin' violet kuchar! We love you guys! Tonight on the Kansas City News. We're watching the Kansas. I know, but we're watching the news and Kansas the other day I'm cracking up. Guess what?

It's cold outside. Really fucking cold outside. That's what's happening. Over here in Liberty, we got zero degrees. Like some are over here with one degree. It's going crazy over there. Battle of him. You know?

Listen, I'm not judging. I'm from the outside of Texas. Can you imagine that local news? Well, everything on the local news was also about small planes. Yeah, there was a small plane. Yeah, it was like a plane took off at the airport. So we saw like a little plane take off. And then like, I did like 10 minutes later, they're like, plane skids off highway.

It was like the same plane coming down and skidding off the highway. We're like, what is happening over at this airport? But to be fair, we were watching it with the volume turned down. So we don't know what the fuck they were even really saying. But it had an arc to it. It was like, it was just going back to the plane,

and the plane's like, ah! It looked like a butterfly with a clipped wing. Like, whoa! Like, what is this? This whole thing is the city. It's terrifying. I'm scared for the city. Oh my god.

You got to check out the Lauren Scandal's news. It's just amazing. It's the best news castie you've ever seen. We say with respect. With respect. Okay, so Lucas is trying to get with Hannah. I say, yeah, not in you. Like she's full on derending him, you know.

Yeah. So then we go back to Kyle and he's in a hotel bed with Amanda. And he's like, doing his selfie count. Because that's like the only place they can... I just don't think they have the budget, right? It's like here, take your cell phone into Disney Land and have fun. We'll put an episode together. They gave him a team mobile sidekick. Yeah, so he's in bed and he's like, well, I got wasted today.

It's only 11 o'clock and I'm already wasted. Oh no, look, that's Amanda. That's Amanda over there sleeping. Not giving them any sex in the middle of the night. God save you. If someone wants to be a kid, they're going, that's Amanda. That's Amanda over there sleeping. Not giving them any sex in the middle of the night. Oh, God save you. If someone did that to me on national TV

at the end of a wedding, and I just want to pass out, God save you to take footage of me like that and put it on TV. Okay, that's all I got to say. I like it because she reacts like the proper way. She's like, oh, hi, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, she had been making a lot of guacamole that day so I understand she's exhausted and she gets him back on TV because she goes on and she's like um answer really hard to like be with someone once you've seen

I'm pooping I know we've never been the same since we saw a jacks on the toilet let's be honest Yeah, everybody poops everybody that's what my mom said, you know like whenever you're feeling insecure or something You're in school and you're like they're cooler than me. She's like just remember everyone poops. Yeah Even poop poops as we saw with jacks so Where's the jack sympathy coming from oh, ohoh. Uh-oh. They're trying to trigger me on the back. Jack sympathizers. No, but no! I just want to remind everyone that Rose Mary is freshly

finger-banged. I need time I start to lose the audience. I'm just gonna throw it to Rose Mary. Just... Okay, so Carl and Lindsay, Carl's like, Hey, Lindsay to, Haltito, Burrito. I'm not gonna lock tab. Please don't, please don't make me watch you make out the fucking hot tab again. Because Lindsay's so posee in the hot tab.

Every time Lindsay, like, there's cameras everywhere, right? They're saying, All right, we're gonna be like, all right, bring it in. Come on, come on. Come on. And she's just like, yeah. Oh, yeah. Whoa.

I have commitment issues. Does Bubbles touch everyone's cornhole now? Please stop gyrating. Sit down. Meanwhile upstairs, by the way, there was this one cutaway shot. It was like the most page cutaway shot because Paige is now walking to her bedroom and she walked into her bedroom and there is like a sheer drapery just blowing in the breeze and she walks through it. As I get of course she like sleeps in an obsession commercial. That is so page. Of course.

She's like, hello Instagram. Answer me. That curtain was page. Of course. She's like, hello, Instagram, it's me that curtain was from forever 21, and the breeze was from here 22. Yeah. What's what I'm supposed to call? So Carla movie, please stop making out. Oh, and then they do shit like, oh, I hate couples like they're already that couple you already. Where he's like, you're like he's like yeah yeah yeah whoa incoming phone call It's disgusting. Not bad. I love that you always buy new shoes. I always get fresh rubber in my mouth. So he's like, uh, hey, oh, and this is how you know someone. There's another way you know that Carl's just a fucking good for nothing liar because he says things like this.

Hey, I have so much fun with you. Just gotta be honest. No one honest has ever said that. With Jesus ever like, guys, gotta be honest. No, he did not. But is there really anything more fun than pretending like your girlfriend's put as a phone and answering it in the hot tub?

I don't think so. That's fun. That's fun. So they start, they're making out more fun than pretending like your girlfriend's put as a phone and answering it in the hot tub. I don't think so. That's fun. That's fun. So they start, they're making out and Danielle's just like roving around like, anyone want to dance with me? It's late at night? No, no.

I'm going to want me to clean. I can clean. I can clean. So then Carl and Lindsey retired to the bedroom where they have some really sexy bodenage. Carl's like, what the fuck is that? Bodenage. Banner means banter. So, Carl, who you heard of the word bodenage?

Has anyone heard of bodenage? You are coming up with sit now. Wow. Thank you, audience. Wow, I thought we were friends. But anyway, Carl turns to Lindsay at the end. They're not even using words like bodynats in a summer house or a cafe.

Christ, thank. I thought we were trying to elevate it. Thought we were trying to elevate it. Don't bodynage shame me. It's a real word. You just got bodynage shame, man. I don't know, I'm just trying to learn and use more vocabulary these days.

Just like Carl 4.0, and knows how to use Bobbler. Oh, gosh. Yeah, they're doing that thing that couples do when they're trying to convince everyone around them that they're really into each other. Like, yeah, oh, yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, goes, yeah, he goes, I'm really enjoying this. I mean, just sparks flying everywhere, right guys.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. And then Danielle walks past their room and she just stops like, leaves. I want a puke out of every hole in my body. Daniel just goes to bed with skinny pop, which I think is so cute. It's like so 2020. Like, you can't even binge anymore.

It's like, well, I'm really fucking depressed. Yeah. Someone else was fucking the guy I liked. I'm gonna binge on this 150 for three cup snack. With a zebra staring at me, great. It's just what I wanted. So now it's the next morning and Jules like puts a whole thing of bacon into the oven which I think she's gonna make her thing.

Like I'm just a bacon girl. Like that's like my thing. I just make bacon for everyone. But no one seems to realize that Jules is the bacon girl because they all start crediting Luke. They're like, ooh, what's that bacon smell? Luke did Luke do that? I think Luke did that.

Wow Luke, he's so great. She's like, ooh, what's that bacon smell? Luke did that? I think Luke did that. Wow, Luke, he's so great. She's like, um, hi, new girl over here made bacon. Like, whatever, nice bacon, Luke. Yeah. So then, I hope you guys liked my bacon. I hope I didn't overcook it. The bacon that I made that Luke didn't make. Mm.

Hey, take me away. Take me away, take me away. Our song leading into a bacon scene. Seen about bacon. Yeah, take me away. Seem monical. Yeah. Beautiful song. So Carl comes out and he's like kind of cleaning the backyard

with jewels, which you know you always need those those peat jewels is you know to make you bake and clean the backyard and Lindsay's like who made this main camera? I'm doing kissing on my lambs Poor jewels really can't catch a break. Yeah, poor jewels, but Lindsay really has the finger on the pulse of that bacon. I have to say. Wow. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Just keep you alert.

Was this put in the oven or was this blasted? In the oven? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Be careful, it's hot to the touch. And then when she wins, Jules takes credit for the bacon. Lindsay goes, oh, you may lose. You're amazing. Yeah.

Because Lindsay hates jewels. And I feel like it's something that's really not being like observed on the show, but it's clear that Lindsay hates jewels, right? Like, to test her. Yeah, she's like the queen and snow white, you know? Miriam, you're all in the long. Who's got? Mirror, mirror, no more. Who's got the best taco contract, my mama?

She's talking to the soul of Carl's foot, by the way. Mirror, mirror, on the foot. A very cute Italian girl sponsored by Forever 21 is going to blow up your spot, bitch. So Lindsay is like, she's like, um, guess what? blow up your spot. Dude. Hahaha. Wait. Wait. Hahaha. So Lindsay is like, she's like, um, guess what? I had a cousin in Carly. Do last night.

Ooh. Daniel's like, you kissed him. Yes. Kind of like with Tongue. She's like, with Tongue stop. Like, Daniel is too mad, okay? You banged Carl for like three very sad weeks, two years ago, okay, let it go.

No, she's mad at herself, because she's like, I can't believe I'm a friend of to this bullshit right now. It's one thing to be a full-time cast member and deal with it, but it'd be a friend of. This is just a grading at this point. And then, Hannah's like, congratulations. You went from third base to first. My work.

So then Hannah's like, wait, you guys have all kissed Carl, right? And they're like, yes. The shame, the group shame on the table. So everybody's laughing about kissing because they're like 40, you know? so Jules is like oh Habita, which I don't know who said Habita in the first place

So no, no Carl Carl sits down and you know because he calls Lindsey hubhouse Because that's the name of her company. I mean what a great nickname Oh, Habita. Oh hubhouse. So they makes hubhouse into Habita. He's like, hey, Habita Oh, I see yeah, So then he makes hub house into a habita. He's like, hey, habita. Oh, I see. Yeah. So Jules was like, oh, habita. That sounds like habiti and aerobic.

And then he's like, oh, what is that, man? Like, my name's like ready to be pissed off. Yeah. I think it means love. And then he goes, ah. Ah. And Carl goes I feel like a little door creep

She's so special so So that yeah now Carl is committed to calling her hobita wherever he got yeah I took a pill in Hobita. Yeah Hobita Hobita Hobita Don't cry for me hub house The truth is I have committed issues

The truth is I have commitment issues. Pima mom aren't doing Pima. Oh, my God, I'm not giving Lindsay a beta. I'm not doing it. Central casting in my mind will not do that. She can do Joseph, she can do Joseph but no a Vita. Yeah, not a Vita. Okay, so Danielle's like, I don't think they know how awkward this is for me. Ugh. She's basically Christian right now in my mind.

Okay. So then Luke is talking to Carl, and this is my favorite guy conversation, like in life, but especially on the show. Luke's like, hey dude, and he's like, hey bro, he's like, hey man. Hey dude. Hey bro.

Hey guy. Yeah. Bro man, bro man. Yeah bro. Bro. Man bro. Bro man. Hey, dude. Hey, bro. Hey, aye. Yeah. Brawman, broam. Yeah, bro. Bro. Man, bro. Bro, man. Bro, man.

Hey, bro. My foot now has cult waiting, so it works out well. So hot. It's like Sean Cody. I was just like replay, replay, replay, replay. So Luke, dude, the bro's struggle was bro Hammond the same. So, so Hannah and Paige are talking on sent chairs as they are want to do. And Hannah is like, oh, so Luke has been teeming me. On this one, he's like, did you try to kiss me last night?

And like, he's the one who came up to me. I was like, trying to kiss me. So. Paige is like, I'm sorry, I'm thinking about forever 21 right now. I don't have time for this. I was so drunk last night and I was like, yeah, you remember crying? I remember crying, but I don't remember what it was crying about. It was sweet. It's like, you were feeling like...

Pressure? Pressure, yeah, you were feeling pressure. Like, you totally remember. She's the thing of Hannah remembers Hannah's like yeah, it was sweet. You're crying about Um Hannah goes yeah, you were trying you're telling you want to try to make very happy and us happy and page goes Yeah, my friends happy and Hannah goes, uh, are we not your friends and pages goes no now No and Hannah goes, are we not your friends? And Bajor goes, no. Now. No. No.

So inside Carl and Lindsay, you're like, ah, ah, ah. And Danielle walks up and comes around the corner, like, well, this should be a safe corner to walk around. And she comes around and she sees them both. She's like, oh, and then she just looks up at the camera. Like, what is this hell house? and she sees them both, she's like, and then she just looks up at the camera, like, what is this hell house? Hell house? Oh.

How's that water? That was, that was hot. I mean, I just had a very sensual moment. I know, I sense a lot of sensuality over here during my bodhana's. Need a moment. I know, I had a moment, you guys. Yeah.

You never know in this. It's like flashbacks. You never know if there's some members marked purified water. It's gonna do to a boy. So now they all start packing. It's time to go back to New York City for the week, et cetera. And it's like packing, packing, packing, you know,

like all that stuff and then show all that footage. And then all of a sudden we're in New York City. No, no, first, we're with Jules. Oh, I'm so sorry. Jules likes it, Paige. And she has, oh my god. We're matching today. We're like almost matching.

Because she's wet and bought, because Paige puts all of her outfits on Instagram because she's Paige. And I don't know if someone pays her or money to do that apparently. She's a content creator. Yeah, she creates content about paid forever 21 class So see you put their outfits on and then Jules goes and buys all the outfits. Yes crazy

Fucking crazy. I love it Jules is the best casting. Yeah, she's great So they all go to New York and then we have like our vinyettes of them in their professional lives Beautiful So I just love these random shots. They do have Lindsay at work because they never make any sense She's like, um, we really need to do have a brainstorming session for the new Stroller launching in October. And Victoria's like, right.

I'm knowing Lindsay, she's actually gonna physically launch a Stroller somewhere. You're gonna launch a Stroller into the Hudson River. Anyone must get a lot of attention launching things where launching a Stroller. Ah! Ah! It's like a lot of attention launching things. We're launching a scholar. Ah. Ah.

Look at top of the stroller just like streaking through the sky. At least the Vanderpump will be like, have you seen the skies? There is something mysterious in the school. Oh. Oh. I happen to be watching Instagram live.

God, I'm a pathetic person. But I was watching it during one of those Elon Musk things At least the Vanderpump was on there like, did you see the magic in the skies? Oh, sorry, what? Wow, that must be the portrayal of Kyle Richards floating through the air! It's a betrayal falling star. betrayal star. I wonder is it a broken bird?

Broken play. It's a broken bird. So Paige is taking a selfie camera not her walk. This is where it's like business, business, business, business. So Paige is like, hey guys, I'm a Time for Outfit scenes. My top is from Sarah, my skirt is from Forever 21. Have a great day. Bye.

And that pays your rent. I know. But the fuck kind of world is that. For all those people who are like, it's 12.55. I don't know what she's wearing yet. Oh, we're out there. Look, I act all bitter. I'm like, what?

It's page rang today. The socks are from Bumbas and the Oh, we're out there. Look, I act all bitter. I'm like, what? It's page rang today. The socks are from Bumbas and the heels are from Payless. I have a great day, everyone. Bye. So, let's go on to the Loverboy Factory. Loverboy. Did everyone remember to bring their Loverboy? Oh, sorry. I don't know where it is either. I don't know if it's even real. lover boy? Oh, sorry. We resist. I don't know where it is either. I don't know if it's even real.

It's very cute though. It looks nice. Yeah. So Kyle is at the lover boy factory. And he's like, believe it or not, we've actually raised $1.3 million. I've had to put out a lot. But we're here.

We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here.

We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here.

We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here.� We're here.

We're here. We're here. We're here. like when he goes, you know what lover boys really relying on sales? Oh. Oh. Great idea, Kyle. He goes, I need to find a salesman who's motivated and driven and capable and knows how to sell things, keeps a job, can take a woman out to a date beyond a pancake. So I heard Carl. Carlito. He's like,ito. Whoa.

So Carl shows up at the factory and he's like, can I help out? Oh, I'm Carl, yeah. So they start talking about Amanda and the intimacy issues that Kyle and Amanda are having. And so as they start to talk about that, then we go over to Amanda and Hannah, who are now at a Halloween shop shopping for... Mullet. Mullets. They're big July 4th party coming up.

Yeah. So, Amanda's like, oh my God, it's a Mullet. It's like the ultimate Mullet. I totally have to mind it. Mullets and guac, it's my thing. Yeah. A guy all. I don't like there's no one named Kyle here. So Amanda's like, too much Kyle, really glad to be back with the girls this week. So Hannah's like, Luke tried to kiss me Saturday and we were like dancing and then he like

de-owned me and was like, it just makes me feel kind of ratchet. And I'm gonna think, can you told her, Mondia? It's like, oh, well I said there's a dude who likes to flirt with me. He's like, do not put yourself in a stupid position. Like you're marrying Kyle. Yeah, you're on summer house. Here's a ladder to help you down from that soapbox. Yeah. Man. I'm a summer house. Here's a ladder to help you down from that soapbox. Yeah.

Ma'am. So then Hannah starts, Hannah's telling a mando about everything that happened last weekend. And so she starts telling her about how Lindsey got mad at her because Hannah was like, yeah, I just was asking her, what's going on with you and Coral? And then Hannah starts doing a perfect Lindsey impersonation. She's like, Hannah, we're feeling it out.

You're not helping it out. Yeah. Wow. We're figuring it out. You're not helping it out. We're figuring it out. Oh. So then Kyle and Carl are still talking. He's like, oh, we didn't even talk about last week. And then Carl was like, Kyle, Kyle, I can't talk about. It's like so stressful, man.

Lindsay, bro. So real, bro. So real, bro. So real, bro. I wanna take Lindsey out on a date, but I wanna take it slow. Carl, you say that every season, when have you ever taken it slow? You've never taken it slow.

But if people who say they're taking it slow, never take it slow. They're always the fastest people, right? They have to say they're taking it slow, is that when they feel like they're taking it slow, when they're actually going 95 in a residential zone. Yeah. Carl.

Yeah, Carl. So Hannah, back with Hannah and Amanda, she looks like, so does we for you. And Amanda's like, oh, I am in the same relative in such a long time. And they were like, when are you getting married? And I'm like, p, song pooping sound. Oh.

Oh. Oh. It's like the best reason to like wait for marriage that I've ever heard. Yeah. Like maybe his pooping will get less gross. I don't know. Can we have a talk?

I really want to move forward with you, but I need cleaner pooping for me. Yeah. I need more fiber in our relationship. More fiber, yeah. We need to be more fiber. Well, less dairy in this relationship. So then Kyle's back talking to Carl and he's talking about like, yeah, we know after that wedding, we went back to hotel room and we didn't have sex, you know. Oh! Whoa! Bro! Whoa! My car all goes, uh, did you at least jerk yourself off? My car was like, uh, I'm not really comfortable jerking off in front of me, bro.

I think that comes with marriage. Does it? I mean, y'all, there's a lot of married people here. Really, it does it. I think, you know, I'm just not thinking. I feel like this is someone next to you just judging you. Like, oh, God. Maybe with Carl. I mean, he did finger-lensy when they weren't kissing, so.

That's a lot to concentrate on. Yeah. So, Rosemary, you tell us. Rosemary, freshly finger-banged, freshly finger-banged. So let's go over to Jules and Paige shopping for nail polish at the nail salon. Oh my god. There it's so nuts. It's like I got my nails done, and you get your nails done. We're like fucking sisters, right? This is like so cute. I think I already love this place.

Like, I think this is my place. Is that weird that I'm making your place my place? Because I think it's my place right now. This place is amazing. It is? Whether you're gonna get why? Oh my God, that's what I'm getting. This is nuts.

Like, I don't wanna be a stalker right now, but I too am gonna get whitish pink and I just kinda think like, it's so cute on both of us right now. Yeah. I feel like this should just sort of be our nail color together. And Paige is like, I really understand but it's like being a new person in this house

full of fucking old weirdos. So, like, I get that, but she's like trying, like, really hard. Yeah. And then Jules is like, why, right? I think, and then the weirdest thing happens when she's like, I have the same nail polish, it cuts the page and her head goes up like this and it goes, boom.

They actually rang a gong on this show for real. So Jules is like, oh my God, it feels so good to be soaking my feet right now. Like, you have to shit it, I black literally 40 blood. Um, have you figured out the subway yet? Well, I haven't found a subway that takes apple pears, so I'm like, guess I'm walking. Wow, wow.

I mean, that is real. She wants... I like that it was either like apple pay or nothing. Like she couldn't take like a cab or... But apple pay does make you look like a fucking idiot. That's me. Always. Because I'm old, you know, like I'm an old cross-demy man.

So I'm like, Apple Pay, help out Apple Pay me. You know, I'm not using that shit man. So Ben's like, idiot, use Apple Pay. Like, why would you take your card out of your wallet when all you have to do is move your, and I was like, oh my God, that is easier. Like I did it one time. I was like, thung. Oh, yes. And it feels nice. It feels good. But now it makes you, because everywhere you go, it's like, thanks, Michael. Thung.

Like walk out and I, sir. Yeah. Could you come back? You just broke the screen of the credit card. It's always great until it doesn't work, and then when it doesn't work, you're just a jackass who's like, I don't know. Hold on, it's going to work. You actually hit the thing with it or do you hold it close? I hit it. You don't have to hit it.

Yeah, you tap. It says tap. So I go. All right, this could be an educational podcast. I hit the kids. I hit the kids. And then if it doesn't work out, I literally don't have to touch.

No, you hit it, you got this. No. And then if it doesn't work, you get out. No, no. I'm looking at this poor woman in the second row here. She's like, please, I paid money to see this. Please don't do this to me. You literally do not have to make physical contact with a reader.

It's got near-field technology that detects that the phone is nearby. I don't like that because of that. You're just going through terrorizing all these displays. Didn't don't say tap to pay. Do you know how many breezes I've left on Go Go boys around West Hollywood? Even if you are tapping, why are you going like this

with full force? You just can go like, normally I do this. That's too much. It's a heavy phone. And I have a guard on it. I have a plastic guard. That is incredibly terrible. It's just if it doesn't work, then you go like this.

And then when nothing happens, you go like this. That's why it's not... I am living. You can't be doing that. Well, anyway, and the other way they're making poor jewels look stupid is they have these commercials now where this guy's like dancing in the subway. Have you seen it? And he's like, and then he walks through the subway. What are you trying to tell me if I can't use the pay thing that it's making you believe it's false advertising.

It's making you believe if you dance properly you can use your app in the subway. I didn't I didn't notice you doing the Lombata at the Sprouts check out. I was trying to do like flatball changes but whatever you saw in your interpretation we're fighting now that. I am incredibly incensed that my podcast partner has been you're the one who taught me is because I watched you mother learned it from watching you dad oh my goodness um so anyway yeah who knew that would turn into something but seriously she's like apple pain oh saying yes all walk I'm a little pain old, so I guess I'll walk. So Paige goes, I don't think that exists yet.

So. So then they start talking about feelings. And Paige is like, sometimes I have feelings. I feel. And I push them all the way down. Push them, push them so far down. I love pushing feelings. And then I drink tequila. And then I announce what I'm wearing.

I do too, but on Instagram. And then one person says one thing, and then I'm like, I'm like, what? Me too. I'm like, what? Totally. It's crazy. Right, nuts.

Thank you. Can we talk about that? Because like, you have a mouth down. So like, what happened? Yeah. And so then she's like, yeah, I basically suppressed my emotions until I drank, and then it all comes out.

Jules goes, literally, on thing person. Like I literally, literally say person like I say syllables at the same time as you literally literally I was gonna say literally I don't know why I just was saying it she's like yeah I, you said that because I'm saying it. She's like, yeah, I, showing emotions, and I became like a pro at it. Because like, I bottled them up because sophomore year, my dad died. I was like, oh.

And then I had to take care of my mom and my sister, and it was really hard. And so I don't cry anymore. Pages like, oh my god, I go into the bathroom and cry all the time. My most fun thing ever, it was just cry some place. It was so sad but she's like sitting there with this huge smile like. It was hard. Jules is like the cutest thing on TV, okay?

I love her. Yeah, she's gonna get wasted one episode and be a monster. And I'm very excited for it. I'm excited. You know, as a huge monster inside there. Yeah, I'm waiting for that bunny. You know, is that bunny waiting for it? Maybe that's why they showed that turkey

in the beginning of the season, drinking out of the pool. A turkey taking the life as a point of the day. It's going to be the turkey in the beginning of the season, drinking out of the pool. A turkey. Taking the life as a point. The Christmas Eve of Summer. The turkey by the end of it. Yeah. So, yeah. So now we go to Lindsay's building.

Carl has, their first date, and Carl has gone to set up a romantic date on the roof. And by romantic, I mean, he bought some supermarket sushi. And some free cans of lover boy that he gets. And not only did he go to, first of all, this is like going to a public park for your first date. Like, look, it swings. I thought we'd like swings, all right? It's worse than a public park,

because it's her apartment building. Yeah, her neighbors. Like, her neighbors, like, her neighbors, like, her neighbors, like, her neighbors, like, her neighbors, like, her neighbors, like, her neighbors, like, her neighbors, like, her neighbors, like, her neighbors, like, her neighbors, like, her neighbors, like, her neighbors, like, her neighbors, like, her neighbors, like, her neighbors, like, uh, her she has a great apartment building. So like, I'm here all the time. Like the door man's name is Carl. So that helps.

Like, hey, Carl, he's like, hey, Carl. Hey, Carl, back at the building again. Carl, Carl, Carl, you go upstairs, Carl. Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, So he is just now let in. I mean, you want to talk about open stocking on this show. They need to have some rules in place on this show.

That's not safe. So anyway, he breaks into the balcony and he's like, whoa, sick. You're sick, bro. Sick. So he comes in. And then meanwhile, we get Lindsay, of course, being Lindsay. She's got her perfume.

She's like, yeah. And then I'm running, I'm running, I'm running and I'm gonna be the first time that we like my my finger and I'm in the end. And Ron does like in a hobby lobby and all the people behind her like what is going on on your phone? Sorry, it's my crazy niece. Her mom abandoned her. And Rhonda gives that obvious advice. She's like, well, what it is, Lindsay, it's your launching into possibly

changing the definition of this friendship. And you're on our, who was it? So then we hear, Hobbitol is Carlito. Marlena. You look amazing. Oh gosh. Wow.

Well, there's something different. Do you use something different to your face? Because you look amazing tonight. I see just like this. Ah. Then they have like a... You did something different about you. You look amazing.

She's like, ah. So then he is, so then they go out the hallway and there's this awkward moment. He's like, ah, after you, my lady, and then she hits the down button, but he's like, ah, guess what?

I'm hitting up and she's like, ah, okay. Weirdo We're supposed to go to pizza beach Red roof and I'm not doing the red roof in Miss up house welcome to your day. I prepared a situation for you. Supermarket sushi, some coupons. I've been wearing these white shorts for 19 days in a row. How about us?

There is nothing that says swamp ass, like those white shorts on car. Oh, no. Okay, change your shorts. There is nothing that says swamp ass like those white shorts on car. Change your shorts, okay? You're not Bart Simpson. You don't have to wear the same thing every day. God. They're not Bart Simpson.

You know, it's like a cartoon character. It's like they're getting like March taking off for clothes, getting into the shower and like the same clothes are under, you know, like, I can never be making. Callabunga, dude. So they sit down and hold hands and cross like, Lindsay. Yes.

You let me be myself and I want to like explore what this is. So just being honest, just saying, got to be honest. Like normal first days, you talk about how many siblings you have and I already know those things, so what do I not know about? Oh my God, okay, settle down, Diane, so I hear. So she's like, um, so I'm having settle down, Diane Sawyer. So she's like, um, some high-ease, maddening, hummel of fireballs,

so listen, I'm so... Yes, she bought the drinks for the day. She's such a struggle. I feel bad for her, you know. Yeah. She works so hard, and she tries so hard, you know. But God bless her heart. She's thin.

So, you know what? You win. So Lindsay's like, let's play. So you know what, you win. So Lindsay's like, let's play the newlyweds game. Um, my, my, my newlyweds game. It was like, I don't know the wet game. It was like, oh, I'm scared. My son and you are watching me. I'm not saying. My son is not the newlyweds game. I don't know what the fuck TV you've been watching. So it's like, oh, we should eat this food. But whatever. Let's just go ahead and do. I know you're not going to eat this food. That That was his way of saying I spent $22 on this food, so we're not gonna like it at a waste, right? It's perishable So say when you remain in stock

Sensation car Well, I like to kiss when I'm finger banging so Missionary it's also my favorite kind of tortilla chips, missionary. That's an ode to the brand. So I think you're gonna use her, Marl. I'm like, what's your favorite sexual position? Just got to be honest. And she's like, um, I am an on top girl, Marl.

I really like the launching the baby's roller into space, Carl, it was basically like, I'm like, I figured that. I was like, okay, you're not compatible. That's what we just found out from this game. You literally have already established you're not compatible.

You like kissing and missionary, and she likes getting on, getting off, and going home, you know? Yeah, so you're not compatible. Uh, so do you want to settle down and have a family at some point? I mean, I know I've known you for four years and you probably know the answer to this already, but I'll ask you anyway.

He's like, all right then, but do you want to settle down in the next year and a half? And it's like, I personally, come and waiting, does that all down. I mean, I know of this and going somewhere in the interaction. I remember me in the dangling of the green bell. I totally respect that, which means he doesn't respect it at all. So let me talk as if we were in a corporate presentation.

So I want to explore you and me, and I care about you so much, but I'm just... I'm scared. Um, Lane, I'm scared of you, Carl. Like you, you're terrifying. I'm terrified of you. You were a terrifying person. It really, really, very terrifying.

So then he starts doing his whole thing, which means he's like setting himself up to have like be able to fuck around. He's like, I just, I guess, so afraid to get into relationships because of my family, you know? I'm like, I have commitment issues. My family has problems. My mom got divorced.

I want to step my two. It's really scary. Yeah, drop. These white shorts won't come off no matter how hard I try. It's like, drop. It's rough, puppy toe. And she's like, um, then go be single and I'll find that. And he's like, oh, but I'm having fun with you. She's like, um, well, you're not like sing that song.

She's just like, um, Carl, then don't fuck it up. Okay, my mom literally abandoned me, so... I'm not afraid of commitment, and therefore you shouldn't be afraid of commitment. And he's like, aww, oh shit. Uh... She just trumped my parents' divorce with abandonment. Should have seen that one coming.

Literally, saw the cards, didn't think she'd play them. So then he tries to turn it on, or he's like, listen. You know, I don't give you shit about your stuff. When you're vulnerable, I listen. I literally listen, and she goes, Well, don't make me ski excuses then, go! He's like, oh! What?

What? It's not a fucking excuse, Andy. Can you come down? Can you take a deep breath? It's not a fucking excuse, Andy. Can you come down? Can you take a deep breath? You're just respecting me, Andy. She's like, how the fuck? I was just not an excuse. Just a calm my bad.

I fucked up. Could you just say that? Could you just say that right now? Could you just say that? I need you to fucking calm down and take a deep breath because I'm not going to apologize. I needed a fucking calm down and take a deep breath because I'm not gonna apologize. I'm only yelling at me. But okay.

And she's like, um, you need to stop yelling at me and growing up. You're resulting me. She's like, I need you today. I'm a llama. I'm saying a llama. And so he just sits there saying, okay, I am gonna say a llama.

I'm gonna take a lap. So she gets up and she goes, they're on a tiny roof in New York City. You know, where you can take a lap. Like you take a lap your ass is gonna fall down 90 plus, you know, she just goes through the corner and sits like in the fetal position. Like she's going to be in the corner, yeah.

On the ledge, like these people are so stupid. So she's like, oh, and you're dying. The car is standing there like this. Would it be bad if I had that sushi now? Or I did pay for it. So she's like, okay, I'm done with my lab. Hi.

I'm done with my lab. He's like, hi. She's like, oh, anything to say? He's like, look, I'm sorry. It's just like, I'm insanely, hi. I'm just like, hi. He's like, hi. She's like, oh, ma, anything to say? He's like, look, I'm sorry. It's just like, I'm insanely fancily to have about my family situation. And it's not an excuse.

I'm just telling you why I'm dealing with what I'm dealing with because I'm going to fuck somebody next week. Like, it's in the previews. So. So ultimately, they're like, let's just have more fireball, you know? Yeah, basically, because she's like, just because your parents made mistakes doesn't mean that you have to make the same mistakes. I mean, I feel the same way. Like, my dad jumps on a trampoline every goddamn morning. While he watches Good Morning America, okay?

You don't see me exercising every day. It's a fucking sickness, and I will not succumb to it. So they both basically decide they want to keep fucking so Now it's time to go back to Hamptons, which means we get some more tricksy monocle We got to get away Get away Get away We got to get away, get away, get away. Carl and Amanda are driving. Amanda is like, oh my God, we're going back to the Hamptons car.

And they're bringing love or boy. So the page is driving. And she's like, oh my God, like our fourth of July party last year was insane. This is going to be even more insane. I might have a text right now. Am I ever talked right now? Am I ever talked right now? He's so rich and hop over. You could just put it right down. Thank you. I need you. We'll make our way around to that. Thank you. You could just put it right down. Thank you. I need thank you. We'll we'll make our way around to that. Thank you Thank you girls

so they talk about Hannah and Luke's like Hey, just like I'm excited for you guys to bring Amanda's to bring Hannah's boyfriend Like he's gonna bring all of his friends and looks like yeah, and we're like say the tool since real great Yeah, can't wait to meet him and looks like, yeah, and we're like, say the tool since real great. Yeah, can't wait to meet him. She's like, what if Armand came up to you and said, yo, stop hitting on my girl.

And he's like, I'd be like, dude, that's impossible. I'm Luke. So then everybody brings in lover boy. Oh, Amanda and Kyle get their first man to have the car full of lover boy. And he's like, well, how do we like store this stuff, Amanda? Like, where do we store it? Like, I don't want just excessive lover boy sitting around here.

So she's like, Kyle, keep it in the car. He's like, but, uh, I don't want it like, I don't want it like taking up the sun. And she says, well, then, or any one to keep in them, that people don't like have accents to it, Kyle. And he's like, that's what I'm trying to talk about. And then they just stare at each other for a really long time. And then she goes, I know how many am's are in for you, Kyle.

Oh. Oh, so, um, so then the girls are like all chatting. So a man does like how, man is talking to Paige and she's like, not Kyle. How are you and Perry doing and Paige is like, she's adorable. Oh, I got scared. Ronnie ran away and I was like, what happened? Is Ronnie leaving? Is the mere mention of Perry making him run for the? Yeah, I'm fucking outta here. What if one of us just did that one day? Like I'm done. It could happen.

You and your Apple Pay tapping bullshit. I'm out of here. Have fun with your high tech kind of waving the phone at the paying thing technology. So Carl is walking around. He's like, ah, just one everyone to know that 4th of July is my favorite holiday. And Danielle, you may remember that we actually met on 4th of July. She's like, seriously, just throw yourself into it, River. Now, like, please. So, like, yeah, I remember, it was our first kiss. And he's like, yeah. And then Danielle's like, and now you're dating Olinzy. He's like, yeah, that's right. That first date didn't go as planned.

Like sometimes I self sabotage, but I wanna give this a shot. Hopefully my dad's fuckups won't fuck up everything. Are any hot girls coming today? Are any hot girls coming today? I made a reservation at a pancake house, so it seemed real romantic this weekend. Real romantic.

Everyone's getting ready, and Hannah's trying on her swim suit. She's like, this is kind of slutty, huh? And Paige, she's like, yeah, because you're a whore. And then Jules is like, yeah, because you're a whore. And then Jules is like, yeah, because you're a whore. Oh, yeah. Hi five, sister. Hi five.

Sister. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five.

Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. Hi five. So Lindsay and Danielle are getting ready. And Danielle's like, you guys are like the weirdest, almost couple of all time.

You and Carl, like it's not that you have Carl are doing it. And they're like, I know. I'm my only person. And I'm like, I really understand Carl's. The worst talent in the world is understanding Carl. And so Danielle's like, oh, you're the only person. That's for me. That's for me. That is for me.

So then Jules walks over to pages, room pages there and Jules is like, hi sister coming through. And pages like, oh my gosh, I wore that skirt last week. And we got a flashback to her being like, topics from Zara, bottoms from forever 21. Have a great night. That's the exact same outfit. It's cute, though.

So it's like, I know you're going to wear this bra tomorrow. That's how much I'm stalking you. I'm like future stalking you, Batch. I'm an actual I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, thing. I don't even know who you're saying it to. He's saying it to the camera man. He just says it every single time. J.B.H. Gotta be honest. You look amazing. Knock it a lie. You look amazing. So in one van, a man is like, so what's up with Carl and Lindsay? I saw I'm kissing Kyle and Kyle's like, they're like making out when they're not even hammered I just got it like the biggest conundrum ever on this stuff Wow, how does that work? So they're they're driving around they're in their cars and Carl

They're in this car Carl just goes you know what's funny everyone Lindsey not having even had sex yet. How about that? And Lindsey goes, girl, why are you so cute to me? And then she's like trying to kiss and from behind. They're like having this weird like, like over this car all is like in front

and this is weird like, like, you have to move, you have to move your seatbelt. Huh. Uh, uh, uh. Uh, uh. Uh, uh. Uh, uh, uh. I'm going to spare a call.

Call. Well, I'm going to see that. All right, take a lap. Take a lap. OK. Uh, uh, uh, call. Call. They're trying to make a joke. It's like, evacue air. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh then y'all, I'm in the live, I'm in the live.

So I'm making comments and I'm trying to do my shoes. So they get to the restaurant and Paige goes, I am starving. God. Yeah. I also wrote that down, starving. This is like the season of just separating every word. Like that's their thing, the season. That's their sendet of the season.

Yeah. Sendet. So Luke is like, so Kyle, how was your waiting? Do people tell you how hot you were? Oh wait, those are the things that I go to. What was your wedding like? Kyle's like, well, it was fun. I had 30 family members asking us when our wedding is. Like they didn't get the memo.

And then the waiter keeps trying to take their order. She's like, um, and you guys like the order some drinks and Kyle's like, oh, rib eyes. I want to rib eyes. I want to rib eyes. I was like, oh, rib-eyed, I want a rib-eyed. I want a rib-eyed. We're ordering drinks right now, Kyle. So she comes back and she's like, can I take your order?

He's like, rib-eyed, rib-eyed, I want a rib-eyed. So he's trying to tell his sob story about how like, no one, like how we had to face all these people that he barely knows and tell them that they don't have a wedding date yet. And no one's listening because no one really cares. He's like, hey, hey, needle decks, hey, needle decks. And I mean, I was like, can people play a pattern

in a Kyle? Otherwise he can lose his shit again. Just trying to carry on a conversation, rib-eye. Maybe if I had my ribeye cocktail, I'd be in a better mood, I don't know. And then Hannah Trigger's car off, because she's like, I went on a date with our mom. And he's like, oh, really?

Was it funny, you official? You getting married to our mom with the fuck? What does Luke could have say about that? Does he know about Luke? What the fuck are you gonna do about that, J.B.H.? Yeah, tell me more, tell me more. Did you guys have a good first date? Yeah.

So then Luke's like, I just wonder how she's gonna act with her boyfriend there. Yeah, tell me more, tell me more. Did you guys have a good first day? Yeah. So then Luke's like, I just wonder how she's going to act with her boyfriend there. I don't want to have a pray thing. But I'm not losing to a gay named dear man, that's it, taking him down. Do you think you're going to lose to her mind? I'm not going to lose to her mind.

I'm not going to lose to her mind. I'm not gonna lose to our mind. Is that kind of guy is always squinting at you and he talks? And you're like, he's real. This is about to say something really smart, you know? Because he's like, he's always smizing. You're like, stop it. So hot. So Lindsay's like, he's like, um, everyone,

Carl Lee-to, took me on a day, tickto on Wednesday. Uh, and Paige goes on a Wednesday. I then she goes, so she goes, the nerve, the nerve of Carl to pick a Wednesday.

And then we see a flashback of last year where she was like, so Carl, maybe instead of pancakes, you could take me out on a date, like on a Wednesday. Yeah. Yeah. I love that she had like long standing Wednesday, was that meant? That's so funny.

And Carl listened to it. You know, it's like, well, it goes for a real date. You do it on a Wednesday. Yeah. So. So then they cut to Lindsay and Lindsay's like this. I got about to kill this girl. And she goes, so anyway.

And Amanda's like, no, I went in and I'm trying to find a line question. Are you guys getting serious or aren't you? And Carl's like, whoa, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen everybody, listen. Taking this very slow. Taking it slow, very slow. Only gonna cheat on her with.

Banker as we go. Bank, bank, bank, bank. And so Daniel's like, I'm sorry, but on the way here, gonna cheat on her with And so Daniel's like, oh, I'm sorry, but on the way here you guys were like being kissy kissy And then I say like one little thing and I get crucified for it I don't know what I'm doing. I'm going to go. I don't know. I don't know. She was like, I was going to kiss him, and then I was like,

ah. What are you saying? All right, I'm going to kiss Carl now. It's like you'll have to. Ah, get it up, you go ahead. Then he was like, I'm not, you kiss them, and then I made the comment. I was like, no, I didn't even get that

And Danielle's like, all right, can I say something? Because like you guys say that you're moving very slow And then you act all coupling and it seems like you guys are moving very fast Who cares like what do you care? It's the weirdest thing you shouldn't care when old people date like that Yeah, weird It's the weirdest thing. You shouldn't care when old people date like that. It's just weird. You know, like they say in old people's homes, that's the biggest rise of sexually transmitted diseases because these old fuckers go in there, they're bored. They're walking around in their pasties all day,

whatever you call their 90s and stuff all day. The pasties. They're drawn out of their mind, you know. You know, when you go to those burlesque shows at the old folks home? Well they kind of are because sometimes they're just like, all right, Mrs. Jenkins, just wear this gown all day. She's walking around and it's like hanging like this,

like down between her boots. She's banging her phone against all the apple pees, you know. Yeah. But you don't walk in there like, oh my God, Mrs. Jenkins is totally fucking Mr. Walters. Like they're old. Let them be. And that's how I feel about Danielle, like leave them alone. All right.

Leave Mrs. Jenkins and Mr. Mr. Walters alone. They've earned the right to fight. They're 40 dating in New York City. That is basically like being a cocoon. They've really, they've earned their right to fight. They're 40 dating in New York City. That is basically like being a cocoon. They've really they've earned They're right. Yeah, so when he's like, um, I'm starting to feel like everyone here is uncomfortable I'm like literally like anytime you're in the room. Everyone's probably uncomfortable, you know So Amanda's like, well, that's why we're asking questions and you're getting defensive Kyle

So everybody goes home basically. They go, well, they go out to party and we get like selfie cam because they have to still have too much class to let them film anywhere. And every time they show them, they're like, hmm, hmm, hmm. They are, yeah.

They're making good use of the low light news. Yeah, like that is a hot vodka soda, man. So then they come back to the house. I know when it's like, you know, like, when they come back to the house, it's always like they have like, like Dan, DJ Daniel's dance party, because it's always her and the living room being like,

woo! I know like nothing's playing, but she's just like, just gonna will it to happen? Then everyone else will dance as two, and all day. And then it's time for bed. And so, Jules just keeps going.

Jamies in the kitchen, jamies in the kitchen, jamies in the kitchen. But everybody just goes to bed. Pages like, Pages like, hey Hannah, I told Jules I was gonna wear it but you're homeless in the kitchen. Pages FaceTiming Perry like,

Carl and Lindsay are still not boning, which I'm not sure how that's working, because every time they show them in bad Lindsay's like, writing in them and be like, yeah, taking off her bra, whipping it around. Just be as, like, so not aware of the camera. She's like reenacting coyote ugly on his dick. Yeah. He's like, I'm taking it slow right now. So then the next morning, because Kyle is like, I want a kiss, I want a kiss.

I want more than a kiss. And Amanda's like, get out of here, Kyle. I'm sleeping, don't. Oh. Oh. So, Kyle's like, I'm in case you're someone nine years younger than me and I don't even know where her sex drive went.

Like, I feel like I'm engaged to an 80 year old horror. How did that happen? You know it's like a full on Dutch oven in there with Kyle and not bad, and that's where the sex drive went. It's like, psh. How about you're wasted every fucking day and probably half hard? Like what is she supposed to do? You know what I mean?

You can't make magic happen every day. And also he's just setting himself up to cheat on her later. This is why he's doing this. You know that, right? So I can be like, well, have you get it somewhere? Yeah, the classic. It's like, what what's his face hot dark guy on Atlanta so Dennis Dennis Oh, I'm Dennis so

So now I I support Portia Portia Portia is a friend of mine No, she's not I support Portia. Portia is a friend of mine. No, she's not. I support Portia. You're just making shit out now. I was trying to do that thing. I work for Portia. And that Dennis is no Portia. Wait, it doesn't work that way. But anyway, so now it's the morning and like, the guys are coming to bear his boot camp. What happened? Just laughing at both crazy ladies down there. Yeah. Rosemary's having the night of her life. I'll tell you that much.

Just, you know. What I do. Yes, Rosemary. Have them. Rosemary almost missed her cue. She's showing off the figure back to you, sure. Okay. So now, so now is the next morning.

The guys are, everyone's like waking up and everything. And Paige goes into Jules's room And she like sits on Jules's bed and she goes wow your bed so comfortable and Jules goes oh my god. Thank you so much He did not give birth to that bed So then Luke and Anna are out playing tennis together and look at a gardeners hat which Almost gave me a boner. Like I had to tell my boner, I was like, you're watching Summer House,

you're not gonna get a boner. Yeah, stop, sit down. Which luckily I'm 44, so boners actually work that way. I'm like, no, and it's like, sorry, I even tried. Yes, sorry. So he's like, I love a man who gardens.

So Luke says something that I feel like in the Mitu era was, it's probably problematic, but somehow it works with Luke. He goes, so I've decided I'm gonna stop trying to make out with you, but I will continue to flirt. I was like, that should be wrong, but I'll accept it. So they start decorating blah, blah, blah.

And Kyle's like, why don't you come cozy up with me? And Amanda's like, cozy up. I'm Link Tyre. I'm now at 12 hour day, Kyle, like, I'm Tyre. And he's like, I know, but sometimes it feels like I'm nagging you, but clean your fucking room and get on my deck. Like, that's all I'm saying. What?

What? What? We should also mention that he's fully sitting on top of the duvet with his flip flops on the duvet. And I was triggered. I was very triggered. I just wanted to fuck. Like, I woke up early, went to berries, which is hilarious. I love that. I want to go to berries, bro. Look at you. Go into berries, bro.

Yeah, bro, we're going to do berries. You've been baritone. Want to be out with it? Barriest bootcamp. Barriest bootcamp. Barriest, bro. Barriest bootcamp. Barriest bootcamp.

Barriest bootcamp. Barriest bootcamp. Barriest bootcamp. Barriest bootcamp. Barriest bootcamp. Barriest bootcamp. Barriest bootcamp. Barriest bootcamp. Barriest bootcamp. Barriest bootcamp. Barriest bootcamp. Barriest out with it? Barry's bootcamp. Bro, how? Bro, how?

Barry's ham. Hey, Barry ham. Let's throw it up. Barry, let's bury it up bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, bro. I just got more action from Bro's hands than I've gotten from you all weekend, Amanda. Bro, right?

All right, bro. All right, bro. Barry's bro. Yeah. Whoa. And that's how you thinker someone kissing. Some are house YouTube tutorial. Yes. They're looking at it.

She never wants to have sex. He always wants to have sex. He's like, I know we're tired, but we need to like make effort to house special moments. How about you stay sober for a night and start screaming at people at dinner tables? That might work. No, I'm not somebody who gets fucked a lot, but people have told me that things like that work. Not my work. Not my somebody who gets fucked a lot, but people have told me that things like that work. It's true.

I'm not willing to drive that out enough to tell you if it works. Just put down the rib eye cocktail. Just talk. Just talk. And just talk. So of course, he's basically doing this whole thing. He's like, I mean, I feel like,

Amanda, like we're an old couple, and we don't even have a wedding venue yet I'm just like, hi, I'm trying to have a good day. You're gonna run a really good day I was gonna make a whole thing of guac today for the live for the now like and Hey, I just wanted to say I'm about to make a guac for the whole. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought I heard page in here That brings us to the end of summer high. Thank you, Omaha. You guys are awesome.

Thank you guys so much guys for coming out tonight. We'll see you next time. Good night everyone. Love you guys. Thank you. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens' ad-free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen to add free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.