Watch What Crappens - SummerHouse: Turn Down for What?

Episode Date: March 13, 2021

The good people of Summer House continue to lose their minds in quarantine; this time bickering about music volume. It's the age old debate: Love Island or beer pong — what's more important?? In other news, Stephen sends Lindsay a Power Point presentation as to why they should get back together. Romance is alive, people.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is Who's the crap is Who's the crap is Who's the crap is Watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is Who's the crap is Who cares what happens Kids, one happens when they're so happy. And rabbits, who's wrong? You want rabbits? It's for when you don't want to be.

Kids, one happens when they're so much that happens. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch For Crappins, a podcast. But all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch, I'm Ben Mandelker. You can also find me on the real house whares of kitchen island. I have to write a new episode of that because my cousin's son requested one.

So I mean, how can I deny that? So go check that out on YouTube. And joining me is my one and only Rondle. Ronnie Carrham, what's going on Ronnie? Whoa, hello, Bunimo. Happy Friday. Oh, thank you girl girl. Happy Friday. We made it.

It's another episode of Summer House today. I don't think there's anything else to discuss. Go join our Patreon. We have fun stuff on there. Bonus episodes. If you missed it, we talked about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle this week, and next week we're talking about O'on Division, so a lot of fun content on there.

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And we always recommend that you stop and listen to their shout outs because they deserve it. So we have to thank them because they are, they're really killing it. Okay, I'm about to say thank you everybody. This was your, this was your public broadcast. This was your public bravo system message, okay? And now here we are for summer housing. Summer housing.

So so much is going on. They are now fully kukuku for kukubuffs. They so much is going on. They are now fully cuckoo for cocoa puffs. They are sick of each other. They are stuck with each other. Quarantine has ruined their little brains and we are the ones that get to benefit from it. So where we last left off. We start on a Monday, which I think is very typical.

I think it's like the best Monday because it's really personified by opening with a Lindsay Crying on a Monday. I mean, does anything personify Monday more than this? And then Kyle is crying because by the way the backstory here is that Stephen Stravy has just left the house and left Lindsay high and dry on a birthday So Kyle Kyle is also crying. He's like, it breaks my fucking heart. I don't know. I don't know what happened.

I don't know. Why are you crying, Kyle? Because he had to help Strappy back. So back to Daniel and Lindsay, who are on Lindsay's bed. Daniel's like, do you want to go upstairs and at least cheers or something with the other girls who got flowers on your birthday? I mean, that'll make you special.

That'll make you feel special. Let's do it. And then we see Luke coming back into the house and he goes, God damn, how's the fucking curses is what this is, man? Oh, man. And Paige and Amanda are talking and Paige is like, this was a date from hell. And it happened on her birthday.

I forgot about that. God, it must be really bad to say, fuck you on your birthday. I know, actually Paige's voice got really low during that moment because normally she talks like this, but in that moment she goes, I know it's her birthday. Like, I don't know what about that.

I was like, what's happening to Paige's voice? She really, this is the house of Curses. She's Curses. Yeah, Curses page. Now, I just wanted to point out, well Lindsay's bitching about all the shit she didn't get on her birthday, okay? Yeah, yes, the guy gave her some soggy fish and chips, I get it. But he also commissioned two paintings of her that were so cute, I would have died,

if someone did that. No one loves my face more than me, okay? And also behind page while they're talking about how poor Lindsay, you know, how this is gone for poor Lindsay There's like brand new powerbeats and like another like box of expensive electronic shit Oh, I'm just souring Lindsay with shit and she's running around the house screaming and crying I feel like Lindsay didn't even appreciate the fact that Stravi sold his desk chair To buy that dinner. Okay

Like yeah, that's a sacrifice. That's a sacrifice. Why do you think he was sitting on boxes all season long? Yeah, there's someone at a U-Haul office with a new office chair now, you know? Yeah. So Kyle comes over to Amanda and Paige and he's like sniffling and he's like,

I honestly feel like I just like, I have like a ton of, I have like a lot of respect for him. I don't know why he hasn't really said anything all season long, but I've respect for him because he's a guy and like, I mean, he's like, it wasn't meant to be. It's like, she's not coming back. And like, she's saying you're not following

the timeline and that. And he's like, why are you in the most invested in this? He's sobbing. He's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh gonna get engaged tonight and he goes oh, I mean oh Well, maybe maybe she did and pages like they've only been dating a year I'll marry Perry when he's old enough to have his own room at shabie pines and not a date sooner And we find out that Lindsey Has not been on birth control all this time Which I think, you know,

wow, I mean, talking about dodging a bullet, a Stravy Lindsay baby. So, Paige is like, is he coming inside of her? And Kyle's like, well, I think that we just all do a spray and spray, you know what I'm saying? It's a spray and spray. And then like, Kyle. Kyle grows.

Kyle, when you send that wrong. Oh, I did. Oh, I guess it is wrong. Paige is like, yeah, you send that wrong? Oh, I did. Oh, I guess it was wrong. It's just like, yeah, you got that wrong. I think that that's right. I think it's right. I think it's you spray. And you, I mean, listen, we've seen enough

Vanoprom rules to know what it's called. What do you think there's four babies? Like pop it up. It's called having an education cast of Summer House. Yeah, be up on it. So then, so then we have this thing. A lot of phone calls this episode, a lot of people, at this point now,

everyone in the house is just so crazy that they're just yearning for external stimulation. So everyone's calling their friends so far. Girl, I hear that. You remember when Corona started and you were hearing from people like from kindergarten? Like, they just wanted to check in. Pretty much.

You know, seriously. So Sierra does a lot of phone talking. So she's been talking to her friend Shannon. And so, but we go to Hannah is actually on the phone with Sierra's friend. And she's like, we're in a drunken psych ward. It's been a touchy. We did help.

We did help. Sierra's like, so I help, we did help! Sierra's like, so I helped the boyfriend put this dinner together and then it turns into this raging fight and then the boyfriend leaves and then it cuts to Luke. Man, can I just say that when she said the boyfriend left Shannon, you hear Shannon go, no way, he left, that's wild. I'm like Shannon, you're a way to invest it to be like not watching this on TV right now.

Yeah, everyone needs a friend Shannon to be like that when you tell them a story. You know, when I was cut off in a parking lot, no way. Whoa. Poor Shannon. She's also in her summer house. She's also miserable. She's just so excited to hear from Sierra about someone else. She doesn't even know kind of to a fight. It's basically Sierra's Danielle, who's sharing this. So then it cuts to Luke in his room with his guitar.

And he's like, it's been a long week here for an acid and I'm a terrorist. I'm waiting. Oh God. All right. Starting to get, it's really, it's really hard to break out of my pattern of coyote. Yeah, he's trying to expand into a different territory because he uses a lyric that goes got a shirt in Tassie and I'm never gonna wait and it's like Luke stick to what you know coyote is certain tie that's not really your vibe.

Yeah, he's really, really edging into the cowboy space. So now Hannah's upstairs and Amanda and Paige are talking and Amanda's like, Hannah, Hannah hasn't said anything to you. Like, it's so fucking weird, dude. And Amanda just has like a lot of anxiety about her situation with Hannah. And she just really wants to clear the air. And so she tells us I'm capable of like moving on like that's what I've done with all my relationships and then we just see a flashback of Kyle saying I'm sorry I cheated on you

It's like I wonder if they yelled at the editors for reminding them over and over again of them mistakes Yeah, exactly. Just over reminding us, there's a line between just moving on versus being a doormat. And I'm not saying that she is a doormat, but there is a line. You know, but welcome. So Lindsay comes out and everyone's surprised to see her

because this is the first time they've seen her since she's been raging and having a fit. And Paige goes, wow, what an outfit. Matt goes, yeah, you look like Marilyn Monroe. It was like the Rostovers in a barrel of Monroe. What are you trying to say right now? Well, no, Marilyn Monroe in Rostovers, and I just got that.

Marilyn Monroe is like the sludder version with less fabric and less iconic and less charisma. You're actually just like a regular girl being Marilyn, never mind. So Kyle goes and hugs Lindsay and he's like, oh, sorry, it's like, what are you apologizing for? Spit it out. Oh God, Alexa just answered, did you hear her?

Alexa is like, what do you need, Lindsay? I'm sorry, we are out of fish and chips. I need more from you, Alexa. So she's like, mad at Kyle, she just spitted out Kyle and he's like whoa I just like open pack to leave you she goes oh my god That's a sprig of a room and I'm supposed to cry Anyone who lives me on my birthday without a conversation And that is pathetic in my mind

So I want to enjoy the last minute of my mother's birthday So I want to enjoy the last minute of my mother back in birthday. Hey, everyone else is on board. We're just watching to be happy, Marilyn Nan-Man-Roe. Marilyn Nan-Roe. Maybe that's what she was saying. Marilyn Nan-Roe. So then Danielle and Amanda come out with a tray of fireball shots, singing Happy Birthday, and then downstairs, Sierra's on the phone with Shannon

and she's like, how are they singing Happy Birthday? And she's like, it's my birthday and like, he's distraught. Like, what's that about? Like, poor Shannon. How is Shannon entertained by any of this, right? How are we? I mean, I ask myself that all week, you know? Like, why am I so excited for this stupid show?

But like, at least for us, it's edited and we have visuals. Shannon is getting play by a play of Fireball shots. Being presented to a girl, she doesn't know upstairs. I mean, just the image of Lindsay, who is afraid that she's too old to like get married and have babies and that she's gonna die alone for all of her friends to bring out little tiny red cups of Fireball.

I mean, it's just like, it's all. It's just so fucking sad. I love it. for all of her friends to bring out little tiny red cups of fireball. And they it's so fucking sad. I love it. And they all do the fireball shots except for page. You just has a gl- she's just drinking this glass of wine and looking at them like they're all monsters. Then back to Luke in his room, he's like, Oh, you know what? I got a sing loud at this shit. God, I just don't want to sing loud, guys. It would have been better if I was singing loud. You should hear hot dish. I'll sing that moment I can really belt. Okay, let's go back to my original song that was about living in the city. Sing to our hair, sleep Seat and tie hairs, leak back. Listen, Luke, you want to be rewarded for just being a random, hot,

blonde guy with the guitar, learn to sing about pickup trucks. Okay. There. Take it. Take that and run with it. And then C.R. Back to the C.R. and Shannon. C.R.

I was like, oh, I forgot to tell you this, Luke, he got my favorite flower, the hydrangea. And Shannon goes, oh, he got my favorite flower, the hydrangea. And Shannon goes, oh, those are pretty though. Shannon. For sad Shannon. I don't think I've ever heard someone name the hydrangea as their favorite flower. Is that a thing? I mean, they're nice.

I've never heard, I also have never heard someone say that they're their favorite. But I'd like hydrangeas. They're like the big sort of puff balls, right? Yeah, they are pretty. Now that I look at them, they're like a bunch of little flowers on a big flower. Yeah. You know what, Lindsey's favorite flower is the Dorengia. So, uh, you get it because I said Dorengia and I had ranger together. I've got some Dorengias for Mrs. Non-Roe. This is where we're at. Hi Drainches, Maryland and the Red, like not even puns, just like distortions.

This is where it's, we're at the end of our week and we just, you know, you know, it's been a long week when this is our Friday. I know, and we're shading Shannon for finding entertainment in this and look at us. Darynges. What are you doing here without deranges? So you've had it back in that bopping bridge. So Sarah, Sarah is like, and he writes me a little note. And it said, I know you've had a tough time the other day, but I hope this makes you smile.

Luke, okay. Like what the flowers are nice, me and Luke are strictly platonic. Like, doesn't change how I feel. I need to make sure not to make signals because he loves to run with that. He loves a mix signal. Oh my God, he so loves mix signals. Oh my God, what's your favorite mix signals, Sierra? Please tell me everything. Sierra, what's your favorite Mexican? Yeah, please tell me everything. Sierra, how's your bed looking? Did you make it today? Mm. So then Lindsay is back, we're back with Lindsay and Kyle. And Lindsay's like, I am not sorry.

His version of drawing is so elementary school. Like he wanted to meet me like Pat, you want the shoulder, thank you for drinking me the dinner. Like thank you so much. Well, it would be a nice thing to say. I mean, at the very least, it was not a great display by hand, but you know, still, if someone takes a picture of mine, someone did something for a fucking thank you.

Someone makes it very funny, thank you. He commissioned paintings for you. You absolutely. Fundamental. The keep leaving out the paintings that he commissioned, like those don't even count. So, Karthik, well, from my perspective, all he wanted to do was make you happy,

and I don't think he was looking for a bad on the back, honestly, I think he just really just wanted a good stool. That's really all he wanted. But wait, don't stop patting my back. That actually feels really good. Keep patting my back. So then Danielle calls Robert, who is probably like the new Samsung version of Siri, you know.

Poor Daniel. Well, and she calls him up and she's like, I've had a whole night, a whole night. And we learned that he is like a private chef and that she met Robert before coming to the house. And in the past, she's had casual flings and she's realized she doesn't want that anymore. She wants to have something consistent that makes her happy. And that concludes Daniel's story for the episode.

Thank you everyone so much for coming. Next week we'll talk about her working again. Oh, well, it was funny that she's talking to a private chef and she goes, I mean, he didn't outdoor dining experience for her. Like that such a terrible thing, but that's like literally this guy's job right now. because I mean, he didn't outdoor dining experience for her. Like that such a terrible thing with that's like literally this guy's job right now.

Yeah. So Lindsay is like, Hannah, do you wanna sleep in my bed tonight? I just don't wanna be alone. Are you up for lady fingering? It's cool if you're not. You can finger me. If you feel like it. So then Amanda is talking talking to Hannah Hannah's did they've been ignoring each other this whole time right so Amanda's like

Oh, hey Hannah. I just want to know apologize to you for doing the rosé like that And I want to apologize for being amazing at tennis whole whole areas, and for being rude and mean to you because maybe I said some painful things about our relationship that I don't like. You know what, same, I just wanna apologize. We'll talk more, I forgive you, great at tennis, bye. Do you hear my joke about Marilyn Non-Roe? By the way, it's so good.

Anyway, gotta go watch my finger. So Amanda's like, she's like, cookie, do you wanna go night night? And he's like, yeah, because I actually work tomorrow. And she's like, I guess that means I work too. So this whole episode is infantilizing Kyle. It's really creepy. I guess she's always kind of done that,

but it's gotten to the point where she's gonna just put a bottle in his mouth. It's like, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here,

come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here So now Paige talks to her friend and she's like, like it's a literal insane asylum Dominique. It's literally, and then Dominique goes literally,

I can imagine. All these people in the periphery are just like getting these downloads of nonsense. Well, baby, I just want you to know that I am pulling giant staganna, which is kind of half the story Amanda., you know, like, you know, the Kyle Heitzer, why don't you say, Hey, she apologized to me too, you know, and he's like, well, I'm not ready.

You know, like, I don't even know what I did. Yeah. You kind of does end a doer deeply, but it means she did not take out the trash. So, um, oops, ooh, I just turned on the suit. Sorry, I just, oh God, quiet, quiet series. Look, our digital assistants today, really. It's like Shannon and Dominique are calling in, like, hello, tell us what's going on in the house.

They're business today. So now it's, now it's morning and Kyle is waking up because he's got to do a zoom soon and Luke wakes up and he's like, oh, I'm so fucking tired. Like, well, go back to sleep. You're making jewelry for yourself. Like this guy, damn phone didn't charge. God damn it. And then we cut to Amanda playing with Kyle's belly button. I tried you to. So then Lindsay is talking to someone on the phone. He's gone. I don't know who. Oh, he's gone.

We got Shannon. We got you. Mom. We got Dominique. Yeah. So she's like, oh, man, did you talk to him? And she's like, um, yeah, he's sad because he loves you. I mean, is it done?

Lindsay is it really done? I mean, is this like Taco Contract Dan? Hold on hold on. I got Shannon on the other line. Hey Shannon. I'll call you right back. Linsister literally call me back Literally call me back Shannon. Okay, you know Shannon. Shannon. Shannon. Shannon. I want you Shana who are you to Shannon talk to see on on talking to literally shanan literally okay literally I won't believe I brain jazz shanan Hi, who got high genres, but what shanan brain jazz who got the horrendous? Oh my god, you know what hammers calling me. You know what call me back hold on now you call me back

Okay, you call me back shanan. Okay, I'm trying to learn. Okay, okay, okay? Okay, I'll go back learn that, okay? Okay, calm me back, I'll go back. I'll go back. Literally. Alright, back. Okay, calm me back. Calm me back. Shana, calm me back. Calm me back. Hey, wait, oh, I forgot to tell you something. Whoa, are you there?

Are you there? Are you there? Hello? I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. Yeah, I forgot to tell you this. Yeah.

Calm me back, bitch. Literally, calm me back. I'm literally going to call you back, because you calm me back, okay? Okay, calm me back. Alright, calm me back. Alright, calm me back. I'm literally gonna call you back cause you're calling me back, okay? Okay, call me back. All right, call me back. All right, I'll go back. All right, bye.

So she's like, he's sad, like he loves you. Is it really done? She's like, how am I gonna not be done? He literally laughs. Ah. Ha. Beep. Yes.

Literally. Literally literally literally literally. You did. Shannon, Shannon, where do you hear this? Yeah Sean What do you have this? He'll literally laugh her and I didn't even want I didn't even call back. Did you hear that? Literally so Lindsey tells us Steven knows that that is the worst thing He could possibly have done his leave because her mom abandoned her When she was two and her brother was three and her dad begged her to stay and she couldn't handle being a mom and she has abandoned issues

now and he knows that so there is no way there's coming back from leaving her. Okay. Now what this story is extremely traumatic and sad and I would never take that away from anybody. Okay. That does not give you a free pass to just be an absolute monster to everybody for the rest of your life Okay, you can't like beat people down and then get mad when they walk away You are a fucking nightmare

Okay, you're a nightmare of a human being Well, I mean unfortunately it sounds it seems like she just has to maintain the cycle right like she has to she has to Like she probably is drawn she has to, like she probably is drawn to guys who are high drama and she sort of falls into a role where she sends them away and like she, and she like, you know, like lives out her relationship with her mother over and over and over again. It's not really about how the guy, it's not really about how the guy treats her in the

relationship. It's about how he wins her back, not really about how the guy treats her in the relationship. It's about how he wins her back, right? Because she's always broken up with the guy and it's always about how much he's trying to get her. Like she was excited when he was trying to get her, but then once he got her and didn't try as hard, she didn't like that. She only likes when someone is really showing that they like her in some way. And I mean, I'm just sorry, life is just not like that, you know,

sorry. You can only keep that up for so long. Yeah, she's got, she needs to go therapy. So, C.R.A. was like, well, my room is a mess. Shocker. I mean, it's literally like so many pillows and laundry piled up on her bed. It's actually out of control. And then Luke, who's just told Hannah that he's no longer going to lead on is like hey burner hey burn dog I put a Hannah burner poster up above my bed Sometimes a master bait to it, but you know don't not sexually attracted to you Just so you know, I just really like the typography. I mean just like Kyle I almost walked into the sliding door which I'm like damn it that would have been amazing to see

So I am not an nerd from him, but he did delete his birthday post to me, and then awkward, four days later, he decided to give me alcohol. And then we cut to Lindsay all week long in different outfits, so we know it's different days. Yes, just being on the phone with Stravy. And he left without saying one thing to me,

actions speak louder than words. I was like, well, if that's the case, then you must have heard goodbye. Because you left. You literally left. That's right, that's right. He let his actions speak that. And it goes to this arc of her just like yelling at him

and saying things. If I say something that it transmits in the air to like Italian and you only understand Spanish, so that's the thing and you can't just walk back in and be like, sorry, and she's just going in on him all the while. I'm like, he's going, ding. I was like, I'm Italian and you're Spanish.

Ding, I'm a flower tortilla and you're a coin tortilla. Ding, you're a clocky day and I'm a sunshine. Ding! And then all of a sudden, flowers arrive for her and a letter that says or a note that says, flowers can represent new beginnings and I dream of getting one with you. Love Steven and she's like, awww. She's thrilled to get these flowers. Okay, it's like, awww. She's thrilled to get these flowers. Okay, it was Lindsey, girl.

Actions speak louder than words. The man gave you sunflowers. They're literally facing away for half of the day. They are too big for the ring. Let me think about that. Have you ever tried to throw a flower that faces away from you? Whoa.

Those are like the ape vagotas of flowers. Okay, I grew a sunflower when I was little because I saw a picture Who? Who? Who? Who? Those are like the abeagotas of flowers. Okay, I grew a sunflower when I was little because I saw a picture and I thought it'd just be the most amazing thing. It got really tall and that slouch is over. And then it's just like, Yeah, I'm a sunflower.

And you're just like actually much less of a beautiful experience than you think it will be. Sunflower, to give to an insecure woman, you give her a flower that literally turns away to look at something brighter than her. I mean, wow. She's gonna be competing with the sun now, you know? Literally a flower that gives you seeds that are like,

oh, I guess I'll eat this, it's all I have, you know? Yeah, I can't afford one that. Yeah. So then, oh, my favorite tricksy jam these days. Oh yeah. I don't play by the rules. I only make them up. I don't play by the rules.

I was trying to decimate Charles, you, but whatever. It was OK. It worked. It was very summer house. So it's morning again. And Amanda's like, boo, boo, what is your brows? I'm like chocolate and man. He's like, cooloboo, what is your brother? I'm like chocolate and man. He's like, who the hell brush my teeth?

And then Hannah's going upstairs. She's like, oh God, the stairs. Oh, the garbage, not take her out her, prevent her. So she's on the phone, she goes out on the balcony and she gets on the phone with Dez, which says Hannah's friend, although by now, actually they are engaged. And he's talking about playing volleyball.

And we find out that he is a comedian in New York City and he's slid into Hannah's DMs right before she got into the house. But she said she said she didn't do anything with him because she wanted to see what would happen with Luke, which was a big mistake, which is exactly what I called. Didn't I say that last week? Guys, I guarantee you she was like, I want to see if I can get some more of that male model booty before I start, you know. I don't buy this at all.

I think she was totally dating this guy. Yeah. I think she was dating this guy for a long time before she came on the show. Wow. But maybe it's just like that thing you come on the show and then you're like, you know, it's show. It doesn't matter. It's like your hall pass, you know. It's like then you're like, you know, it's show it doesn't matter It's like your hall pass, you know, it's like they're dating but you understand that I'm gonna be fucking a model for the whole summer Right

Thanks, it'll be good for our careers honey. No, I think that if they were dating beforehand I think she would have like thrown that out there a lot sooner like as a as a thing like whatever Luke I'm dating death like when he brought Sierra and I think that she would have been like, I got Dez, right? So, no, because it's weird, because you can't threaten a model with someone way older than the model.

Like to a model, someone like Dez, I mean, that's like a milk passer, it's expiration date, you know what I mean? So like, yeah, I'm not gonna date you because I'm really into old man Kyle, because he really does look like an old version of Kyle So thank you sashama. Did he? Medea because she told me that first but she's once you know that in your head and you look at does it is like old man Kyle

And by the way old man. He's like my age. Yeah, he actually doesn't look that he just has gray hair But uh, he's younger than me. I'm sure actually before anybody's like how do you use only 42 that's nothing like your age But I think your point does remain like if you are going to if like male model shows up with female model Like your retaliation is not gonna be like I'm showing up with a comedian who plays volleyball Yeah, like a sorry steak sorry steak. I'm not gonna eat you right now. I've got some beef jerky in my back pocket. Yeah. Anyway, so she's talking on the phone and then she goes inside and is like getting something

on the counter and like knock something over and Kyle's working your butt and he's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I think about it, because he's kind of like saying, be quiet over there. I'm working, which is a funny parallel to what happens later in the episode. Yeah. So Carl opens the door for the oven people. This is a big plot. The big continuing serial of this year

is that the oven still doesn't work. So people come over and Carl's like being a dick to the work when he's like, wow, I was like 10 10 people over like over the course of three weeks, so glad you guys are back. That's been great Yeah and And then we see like stuff going on around the house So we see Danielle having it like a work session as usual where she's like well what happens to historical data like like I don't I don't know if that's been defined yet,

because I'm going for the D. Was I not on mute, sorry. So in Page and Hannah are in their office, they're bad. And Page is like, oh my God, that psychic we talked to on Instagram is messaging me. Like she says, that Perry is not my person. And then Kyle is like, well, our predicament is that we're trying to figure out the right move and I don't want production to be bottleneck and supply line and business and cans.

We're having a can shortage in the US right now. Literally there's no more aluminum cans and like, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I just stare at a man's ass and I just think I still need more cans. Am I, I suggest Capri Sun style pouches? People would love it. There, I just need you a billion dollars. Enjoy yourself. Commissars, here comes one right now.

Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking,

oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong, what would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So anyway, upstairs, the oven guys have now fixed the oven and stove, which honestly

that has actually been on my mind a lot. Like when are they going to ever fix that oven and stove in that house? Because they've been there for like a few weeks. And so I was glad to see that it was finally attended to because I was starting to think that the whole season was going to go by and it was just going to be toaster ovens. Well, it's like during disaster time too, you know, it's like my oven's broken. Well, there's coronavirus. It's like, okay, I get it.

Are all ovens broken on coronavirus time? No, sir, but you know, you know, you just imagine me on the phone because I'm like, well, yeah, there's coronavirus, but guess what? I've still got to stake the cook, baby! Jennifer, Jennifer just come in on custom with her broken oven. Yeah, if you ever have a problem on customer service Just be Jennifer from real house of New Jersey, you know, like I'm sorry sir. Your FedEx is like I thought there was a hit narrow in your logo, baby So so your logo baby. So, so, so, look at the oven guys looked so, put out, right? Like they

pulled the oven out and they're like, oh, God, like this sucks. I was like, wow, is this it like an extenuating oven circumstance? I need to know what's going on with the oven because those guys were not pleased. Well, you know, they hate that type of oven. They're like this fucking oven. All the rich people in the Hamptons always get it Not realizing that it's actually a shitty oven. It just looks pretty And we have to always come in and fix it and it's always a pain in the aster fixed like that's what they were thinking Particularly annoyed that the valve or whatever they have to fix is on the back of the oven like they have to pull the oven out And they're like oh yeah, that's where it goes, oven person, okay?

And they also are annoyed because they have to be like on their best oven repairing behavior because they're on TV and they've got like a bunch of millennials swirling around them, making insta stories about it. Like, you know, they're like just trying to fix a valve and Hannah's probably back there being like, so this is Hannah Burner reporting live from an often fixed look at these guys.

These guys are kind of hot. Hey guys, what's going on? I know. Meanwhile, they're like wearing man spanks, you know, got a little under eye makeup on. And these assholes are so lazy, they're still trash, like not being taken out on the board next to them. Seriously, pages just watching them. Hey, so these guys are wearing a really chic outfit. And I just want them to know that I found it for about $20 cheaper with

my own, my own investigative sense. So if you want to find out how you can look like another repairman for less, just like and subscribe. Thanks. Smash those like buttons. They're like, get out. We're trying to fix the look of it. So later, Luke is going to test out this new oven. So he's like preparing things in the kitchen. And Sierra just kind of like slugs in, you know, like tired. That's kind of for some all the time. Slug like, he just walks across the kitchen and kind of sees Luke and then walks out again. And he's like, what's up? And she just leaves. Yeah.

And he's like, you know, I bought Sierra flowers yesterday and to be like, hey, I am attracted to you, but it's not what she wants, you know? So, and I respect that, that's cool, but we still got to fucking see each other all day every day. So like, don't be awkward, let's just have sex, right? You know?

Yeah, you know, I hate awkward things, which is why I was bringing the girl that I was secretly talking to all last summer while I was semi-begin Hannah. You know, God, I just really hate awkward things. I hate it so much. So meanwhile, Amanda's over by the pool and she's like, I have no internet by the pool. I can't even send an email and page is like, yeah, I'm really homesick. Like my mom would literally just take my mail to whoever I needed to go to. I wouldn't even need the e. It's just mom mail. You know, mom go tell Hannah, tell Hannah, like, and subscribe. And she would get on a bicycle and just

it was a battle all day until Hannah. Mom male was the original Tyra male just saying. So instead of being like your challenge today is to be gorgeous. It would be like your challenge is to not smart off to me or you're not getting glasagna like I'm subscribed. And at the end of the day my mom would stand in front of me with a picture of me and say standing before me is one girl and each one girl has something the other girl wants, which is funny because it's just one girl which means she has everything she needs and she's wonderful. She's my daughter.

That's what my mom says to me. But I never get a little bit of it. Zero. Zero is like, um, your mom stole coax for you. I'm like, um, I don't do anything around my mother. Like, I don't even poop around my mother. She's like got a colonic bag ready for me. Okay.

Like, she literally does everything for me. She loves it. And Sierra is like, I love my mom, but mainly I miss my cat. And Paige goes, Oh, I thought you said your cat. Oh, I thought you said your dad. Oh, anyway, I hope that doesn't trigger any sort of childhood memories. But if they do, please continue. Feel free. Lucas probably going to take 10 hours to work with that fucking oven. So please, just fill our time and just like, oh my god. My dad, yeah. So she talks about her dad and how he lives in Charlotte.

And then, you know, her parents got divorced and then she stayed in Atlanta with her mom. And they had a very rough period and didn't talk during high school. And she was always a daddy's girl. And, and she just starts crying. She's like, I always start crying when I talk about my dad and page is like, oh my God, I totally didn't mean to do that to you when I was talking about your pad. Does that sound like dad by accident? Come on. Let me get your emotions out. You know what I've never realized until right now? Dad, I'm so sad. I'm so sorry. Are you

crying right now? I didn't make, I didn't mean to make my perfect life make you cry Do you want my mom to make you a lasagna? She can do it if that's on ya Do you want a fidget spinner? They're really cool right now. They probably won't be cool in the future That's mainly because they're just a fad Anything It's like a fidget spinner Where is this going to go? So she's like, guys, you're stubborn.

Like my dad loves me so much that every time he pulls up to a stop sign, he won't stop putting his arm over me. So I don't crash through the window. Why are you crying? I'm trying to help. Yeah, guys are so stubborn. Like my dad, like I go home and he just won't stop doting on me.

He's like, just the best dad in the world. He just, I'm like, God, I can't even look to finger in this household. Why are you crying, Sierra? Why are you crying? Why are you crying? So meanwhile, it's your actually has like a very sad story about her dad, which is basically that he remarried when she was 14 and he asked her if she likes the new wife to be and she was like, no, I don't.

And so the dad uninvited her and her sister from the wedding and they didn't talk for four years and basically she felt that the dad's relationship with his new wife was more important than his relationship with her to which I say, fuck that dad, that is so obnoxious. Of course the daughter is not not gonna like your new wife. That's like part of like step-daughtering, you know, like that's just the way it goes. Like I can't believe you would disinvite his own children because they said

they didn't like the wife. Come on. Yeah. That is really sad. And she's talking about how that damage, you know, like daddy issues basically for anybody who's ever watched the bachelor. Or a real genius over your or life, you know, or real life.

Um, those issues carry over into other relationships and she's like, yeah, you know, I've done therapy because like, I don't want to bring baggage into relationships, you know, and the producer says, so are you a bad judge of men? And she's like, fuck no, I'm for well Okay, there was Luke and then there was a guy before like that cheated on me. Um Am I bad at choosing then yeah Thank you. She's like oh Great pages like I know it's like crazy. It's like every time I get a guy. I'm like wait a second

You're like not my dad. So basically, I started dating my dad. Sorry, Perry. It's kind of getting weird over here. Yeah, I always think like first, like, are you gonna be a good dad? Like, I don't even care how good of a wife you are. But are you a dad with two kids who has a mother

with like a huge diamond on her ring? That's the kind of thing I worry about, you know? So, um, but I think it's funny that Sierra mentions because she mentions a few times in this episode how she goes to therapy. She's like, you know, that hurt and so I went to therapy and took care of it. And then, you know, this other thing, that was a problem. So I went to therapy and I took care of it, which I totally respect, you know. Um, also think like no therapist told you you're a city judge of character with men. I mean, who are you paying? Like you got more therapy from one session in the diary room here. I think you did from other therapists. Stopping dicks, okay? Just tell us. If you're a city person, this is why people don't like you. Not her, but my therapist, you know.

You're a city, you're a city judge of men, and that's why you end up with fucking losers. Stop doing that. Don't ask me how I feel and let me sit there and cry for an hour and then take $200. Tell me what, tell me, tell me the truth, you know? Well, unfortunately, Sierra thought she was going to a therapist, but it was just Luke and glasses. That's why he was singing about shirts and ties. Shirts and ties got a dress up like a therapist to get back in bed with Sierra You are so pretty when you cry. It's like so annoying So then we hear Kyle go I am so stressed out. I just want to send it So they're getting ready to party and then of course you knew you I want me to call my mom she'll send that she actually

really love sending email When everyone's like freaking out about the post office like save the post office So we can like have like mail-in votes. I'm like guys Just tell my mom she'll just like deliver all the battles. It's fine guys just tell my mom she'll just like deliver all the battles it's fine. There's a conversation about being more boobs than ass or something like Amanda is telling Sierra oh my god I love your boobs and she's like um I love your boobs. She's like no my love your boobs like you know better boobs like I'm all pit. Yeah I don't really know what that meant. I didn't write it down because I was like, I just can't. I'm too gay for this. So.

See, what I wrote down was with boobs that are sometimes in my pit. I'm big enough to like actually wonder like, what do I actually have this in common with the band? Oh my god, girl. Frank call me. Babes in the pit. Babes in the pit. Babes in the pit.

Here's a scene that I really related to. It was Hannah and Paige getting into bed. And Hannah's first Hannah is like, I'm sure no state up, so late, I'm so tired. And then Paige just goes, want to watch Love Island? I was like, oh my god. I hate how much I relate to this show sometimes.

Yeah. And then Kyle and Lindsay and Danielle are doing their like click party, whether we're they're trying really hard to convince each other that they're having fun. They're like, they're like blasting music and page tax. And she's like, um, guys, can you turn the music down? We're trying to study love island up here. So. And then if I think if she said, like, can you turn it down a little bit heart, would have been okay But then she keeps going it's like bloop. I mean there are 10 people here bloop. You should be courteous Yeah, it was I mean, I don't I'm assuming that was what the texts were. I don't know if the producers were being

like I don't know I don't know what was going on in terms of like how much time there was in between the messages or whatever But I just have to go with what we're given, which is that she had a little series of texts of like, can you be quiet? We're showing a house. You have to be courteous. So Kyle's like, no, I'm not going to turn the music down. It's not even night yet.

Are you kidding me? And I was like, how does have a point? It is, it's still light out. But then I will say this, we then see Amanda going up to an amplifier basically. It's like a speaker, a giant speaker. And I'm like, okay, listen, I totally agree, you know, it's like Friday night, whatever it was, the sun hasn't even gone down. Like let people play their music. But if it's being played over like a giant amplifier and someone in the house, like, can you just turn that down?

It's not, I don't know, like, it's not, that's a little different. I knew that that giant speaker was gonna trigger you. And it was in the house, it wasn't even aiming for it outside where they were burning it. That's the thing, like, it's just blasted up through the house. It was like a full on speaker amplifier. I'm sorry, that like, they could turn that down a little bit,

because they're only watching off of a laptop which has limited volume, right? So... Yeah, so Kyle's like, what are you doing in an app? Because she's turning it down. And then Danielle reads us the text, and she's like, can you turn the music down a little? Oh no, we can't.

Look, man. Oh, Daniel, boy. I mean, I understand why they are pissed off too, because I've totally been the person who's been asked to turn something down. I'm like, fucking, fucking, fuck. But I'm like, someone's trying to watch Love Island. I'm always going to take the side of the people watching Love Island.

OK? So Kyle is like, dude, is this like a senior citizen fucking home? Like, come on now. He gets really triggered about age stuff. Okay, so Kyle is like, dude, is this like a senior citizen fucking home? Like, come on now. He gets really triggered about age stuff. About whatever, like the, whatever it is ever, you know, his, his middle age life.

He's like the oldest one. Yeah, it's really the oldest one. And it's funny because he's like blasting music and dancing around and getting wasted to prove that he's young, but then the young people are the ones who are like, what do you turn about down a little? She's like, it's just like a double fuck you.

Yeah, and Paige is like, it is literally vibrating. I didn't say turn it off. I said, turn it down. And like, you live in a house with 10 people, you have to be courteous. Like if my mom were here, she would have already turned it down for me. Okay, so just please respect that, please. Yeah, I've asked my neighbors to turn it down last week,

and they're lovely, you know, they're lovely, but they've been working on this deck, I swear, for like six months or something, it never stops. And then the guys have started playing music and blasting. It's like, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, it's like that polka beat. Oh, god.

All fucking dead. And I was like, hey, could you just ask them to turn it down a little bit? Don't turn it off. that polka beat. Oh god. Oh fucking day. And I was like, Hey, could you just ask them to turn it down a little bit? Don't turn it off. Just turn it down. And then they turned it off. And I was like, that's so passive aggressive. Like you're the one being the asshole with the music.

And I just said, turn it down a little. And then you're like, fine, we're not going to listen to it then. Yeah, bitch. There's a, there's in my old place, there's a woman named Trina who lives downstairs for me. And she was so annoying. And the moment I would do anything, she would complain about the noise. And in the beginning, it was all nice.

She was like, hey, I'm so sorry, I work from home. She'd just keep it down during work hours. I was like, of course, of course, of course. But then it was like, I'm trying to take a nap. It's like Saturday at 2 p.m. I'm trying to take a nap. And then it was this and that. And then she called the management manager because she said I was making too much noise

at five in the morning. I was like, I'm not awake at five in the morning. And she said, well, she heard you. And apparently I got up to go to bathroom. And like, there's one area of my floor that creaks a little bit. And so she complained, it woke her up because I took one step on a creaky part

and woke her up and she complained to the manager and they came in and they were going to, like, move me out of my bedroom so they could fix the floor for her. And I was like, this is ridiculous. Do not give into Katrina and the best part about it was, of course, then stalked her. I brought him with her.

And she's like totally into like guns and roses she just was obsessed with guns and roses and she's like yeah guns and roses everything about her was about like heavy metal or like hair bands but like god forbid there was a creek in the middle of the night you know so I'm like very traumatized by the idea of people calling and saying can you turn it down because I think of Trina but yeah, but that being said Love Island if she's if she just said to me. I'm trying to watch love Island of like Trina Of course, I just won't even talk again. I totally get it like watch like I would be like she has to watch this She has to watch it and Kyle is triggered

He's like we have the outcast because we want to have fun because we work our asses off I mean, this isn't Hannah's house and I'm sick of this shit everyone is so temperamental I'm sitting at it like um you're a thick one who's like this screaming old man like you've been shouting for three days now, sir You're the one who literally granted at Hannah when she like knocks something over on a counter Okay, so he's like some of us actually work hard during the week I want to enjoy our weekends. Am I interrupting your podcast? Come on. Oh, how dare you? How dare you? How dare you? How dare you? I'm sorry, are we

interrupting your process of calling people and asking about cans? Are we interrupting your weeks long and commercial for love a boy? I'm sorry. I'm sorry that no one in this house has any other beverage option other than Spritzers from love a boy. I know Amanda actually mentioned Rosé today and I'm convinced it's because Kyle wasn't bad because he would not stand for that shit otherwise. Be quiet Kyle. So now it's just more partying and Luke has like a role, is like rollerblading through the kitchen and everything and Kyle is, he's sitting there with Danielle Lindsay

at the table at the kitchen table and he's like, I love Sierra, but like you have, how have you like literally not done a single dish? So I'm like, okay, Sierra appears to be very much a slab, which you know, that's what Sierra,, that seems to be what she is. But like, are you, are you really on the tail end of complaining about, about someone complaining about you and your disrespective communal noise, the community, like communal space, are now complaining about someone not doing their dishes when you would not be quiet for someone who's trying to do something that would not involve playing pong?

for someone who was trying to do something that did not involve playing pong. Like literally being a Gen Z. You don't do dishes. I mean, Paige Sierra and Hannah, they do literally nothing. And then she's like, yeah, like, we clean, we organize, we send down. Yes, because that shows maturity. I'm like like not Lindsey Hubbard lecturing about maturity. Okay. So they're the Hubbard who just ruined yet another of the house in the house by running through and screaming and crying about some fucking man that she was terrorizing. How many sandwiches of you made me? So, uh, but so Hannah starts, you know, she starts coming up the staircase. Oh, oh, staircase, staircase.

And so then they change the topic immediately. They're acting like they're talking about working out and stuff. And so Hannah, she fixes herself a sandwich, which is funny, because she does it right next to a garbage bag that's full of garbage, but she still doesn't take it down the stairs. It's like Hannah, come on. I mean, you've been called out at this point. You still got to do it.

And then she's like, get a long Hannah. She's like, oh, hi. And she just literally walks around the trash and weaves. So she goes back downstairs and she sees Paige. She goes, I get up there. And they clearly were talking about me. And Perry's like, and Paige is like, if we're Perry talking shit about a girl,

and she walked in, he'd be like, by the way, I have something to say to you. And so, so Hannah's like, which is why he would be a good dad. Yeah, he's such a good dad. Oh my God, and the air crying in the next room, I hear something. Sorry, sorry, I'll be more quiet about that.

So Hannah's like, yeah, he never says shit to my face and then he freaks it over the most random thing I say like when I say he yells at Amanda and that they have a terrible relationship He just like freaks out about that stuff. You know I'm saying Oh Just Lindsay falling down the stairs like the moment we've all been waiting for She just falls down and exactly the way you expect Lindsay to fall down a semi-spirals to our case Who just fell and Daniel's like you were so drunk you just fell down the stairs in our case. Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh- That's that's that's what you call getting burned by the staircase. So so now it's the next morning and Kyle wakes up and he's like, I don't think I've seen a more lame crew in my life Mike I mean, I don't know what to say at this point. I don't know what to say. Your cruise when falling downstairs

point. I don't know what to say. Your cruise is when falling down stairs. It's scary. Maybe Hannah has a point about that staircase in the garbage. It's very dangerous. So Hannah's eating a one bar and she'd like to close out a one bar and she opens it and pages like, where did you pull that out? There is nothing more frightening than waking up and seeing a magical one bar in front of you. Oh my God. I just laughed at it naturally because you know I'll keep up peanut M&M and my belly button for when I'm so I totally got it. So then Luke, so that same garbage bag that sitting there in the kitchen, Luke goes over to it and he tries to put something in it,

but somehow he like dislodges all the garbage and it comes tumbling out. He's like, God damn mother fucker. Oh, God. This is like that time I dropped a hat dish on the floor. My mom was so mad. It was her favorite tuna casserole recipe. Oh, I never heard the end of that one. So Luke and Lindsey are now on the kitchen and he's making bacon. And he's like, he'll be done in a bit. Oh, yeah. I like this because he's making bacon. She's she comes. I like this because he's making bacon. She comes upstairs and he goes, I'm making bacon. She goes, I was like, what am I smelling?

I'm like Lindsay. What is a bare-falled dislodge? Like, that's a pretty, pretty, it's morning. That's a big smell. That's a big smell. Like, what is that? Fish sticks?

You know, I feel about fish sticks that they have to my birthday. It's like, it's big and smell like. Who's making a cake? So then we hear, we hear a bloop and Lindsay gets to text with a PDF attachment. Oh my God, I died.

Okay, so Steven has sent her a, what do you call him? A PowerPoint. A PowerPoint. It's an eight slide PowerPoint because she, so Lindsay goes outside with Danielle to tell her about this. And she's like, well, I told Steven, if you're gonna make this work, then you need to start thinking like,

what does Lindsay need in a relationship? Figure that, forget what you need for yourself. And then if you're a cable, you need to say, I'm gonna get it! So, I'm so annoying. What is wrong with Steven that he's even dating somebody like this? If I ever got, I mean, you need to figure out what I need

and you need to tell me exactly what I need and how you're gonna get it to me. Go fuck yourself, that's what I need. Get out. So I took a screenshot of the potential solution. Did you do that as well? Of course, and it is like eight slides, which is hilarious. So we did a power point.

And Daniel's like, I don't even know what to do with that honestly. And last time I came was to a power point. So she's like, I literally am wearing my blazer with shoulder pads, and I still don't know what to do with this PowerPoint. Yeah. So there's two columns. There's a Lindsey to do column and a Steven to do column and the Lindsey to do column. So do you want to do all these are just ones that are highlighted or just I didn't do the highlighted one. So I don't, I mean, this is just ridiculous. We'll just do them real fast because this is seriously long It might be too long. Yeah, so the Lindsey to do so when Stephen expresses feelings listen and acknowledge and support by not putting them down

Praise him when he does things you like slash one instead of making fun or stating is not good enough Keep relationship issues private when public setting and try to tackle prior to going out or pull aside in a moment to touch on. Oh, this is so hypocritical, my God. Look back at last couple of weeks and see if you honestly feel you set us up for success in this situation.

Could you imagine saying that about your own relationship? Have you really set us up for success in this situation? Um, uh, don't attack Steven in conversations. Okay, let's do the Steven side. Let's do someone from the Steven side. Carve at time before after work outside of summer house to connect with Lindsey, example walking, getting coffee and a sub a sub note. If in the same place during work day, try to have lunch together. Stick with actually rotating date night each week and don't miss it. No matter what.

This is so she how not only is it a date night, you have to rotate the date night. To like to keep her surprised enough, I'm sure. Express more gratitude in the moment and via surprises to show Lindsay, I see all the hard work she has done. Yeah. And I'll say the most important point, don't leave as it will trigger Lindsay. Yeah.

Yeah. Wow. And then, but here's the thing, that was just one slide. There was also a pie chart. And then there but here's the thing, that was just one slide. There was also a pie chart, and then there was also a page that had graphics, because Daniel's like, oh, and this is where the graphics come in. And it was like signs of an unhealthy relationship,

poor communication, unresolved conflicts, insufficient time together. I'm like, you guys hit all three out the park. On the, Be done. And one of them is keys to a healthy relationship. And everything gets equal pies in this for some reason. It looks like support gets support and affirmation might be a little smaller.

I don't think he used an actual even thing but he tried to make it look even, which makes it even funnier. Like he cut out the lines to fit into this pie. I mean, this shit is amazing. So the center. So the center. Yeah, the center is yellow.

And it says equality and freedom, which considering the time we're living in right now is hilarious that this is what they write. On their relationship chart. Yeah. Accountability, trust, respect, safety, honesty, negotiation and compromise, support and affirmation, partnership and commitment, intimacy and open communication. Listen, girl, if you need a pie chart,

it's time to find any relationships. Yeah, seriously. But Lindsay likes it. She's like, I think you need to do this to understand what makes a relationship work. And she said that right now she's in a place of she's going to continue deciding if this is the guy for her, but she likes the effort. And Danielle basically is like, I think this is just going to be a project that you're going to have to continually manage over and over again. Yeah. So then get on with it. Oh crank it up. on with it crank it up Classic yeah, just the classic. It's a classic song to really set up people milling about in the backyard They like play the crank it up song in the episode about the volume being too loud

So Hannah's like, oh, what should we do to make party vibes? And Daniel's like, I'm gonna create a club with things I bought on Amazon. So they blow up some furniture and she's got some like really cheap version of the lease of anapot flower crown thing. Yeah, and Luke is making some sort of like dumb waiter thing

where he has like a sort of like a bag or a bucket on a rope with a stick or whatever. And so the girls are all hanging out downstairs. The guys are up on the deck. And Luke is like, hey, what do you think all those girls are talking about down there? Maybe coyotes or the old Sutton tie song? You've heard that one. It's really good. And he actually makes a beer lift from balcony, which I think is the most impressive thing he's made. And it was zip ties. So it was very impressive.

So so cause like they're probably talking shit about me and then downstairs Hannah's like they're probably talking shit about me, which shows that really they could be in love if this were a romcom old Kyle. She's with old Kyle. So she's like I'm about to get plastered and Kyle is like, Hey guys, maybe you could turn the music down down there. And Paige says, Well, if you want to talk to us, then maybe you can talk to us. Yeah, come down here because you're being like aggressive and like a dick. Yeah. So Paige is like, Hannah, his opinion of you has nothing to deal with you

I just asked my mom and she said I was the best which is that does have something to do with me. Thanks mom And the man is like the money good to guys Amanda I want to get along with him. I really do. Yama. This is awkward and uncomfortable because like I have to listen to him talking about you. To go but the only time I get into it with you is when it's a problem with Carl. You know, like you apologize for him. You apologize for me to him. Like it's actually very nice of you. So thank you for that.

Yeah. She's like, if Carl had apologized for the really mean things he'd said, we'd be in a good place right now, but he hustles. And Amanda's like, well, he's emotional and protective of me and I'm just drained. I'm like, Amanda's been drained for four seasons now. Oh my God.

She like made guacamole once and has lost all her energy ever since. So yeah. Hannah's like, I think I just project my anger from Kyle onto Amanda, but then she apologizes and cares about our friendship. And I understand sometimes you're put in a tough position. And Amanda's like, I'm marrying this man

and you can't be my friend and fight with the person I love. Okay, well that cuts out most of my friends. Because I have no problem with that. So, Amanda's like, you guys should talk. Because here it goes, oh God, it's not even two for Christ's sake. We just sat down and blow up chairs. Can we just enjoy the moment? So Lindsay sits in her chair and of course,

completely falls over backwards. Lot of slapstick for Lindsay this episode. Oh, I feel it was a crazy game. But my print plan. Did you say she's the cram- crammer? Yeah. She's being a Beijing to a turkey. So Kyle, so now Colin and Amanda,

Amanda, they're talking and Amanda is like, she's like, I think the things that you've said about everyone was worth me. And he's like, well, I was on a fucking tear. And she basically is like, when you say mean things about people, you know, like, you know, they're gonna, and you talk about people being immature, like that stuff, it sticks with people, and it's hurtful.

And he's like, well, I don't have time for fake people, man. So, came. I'm like, oh, I don't have time for fake people, man. That's okay. Oh my God, stop infantilizing Kyle, just telling me it's an X. Well, when you know this, it makes people feel like this is that okay with you. But at the same time,

he kind of needs to hear that too, because I don't think he realizes why he's being received. So, presentation, you know what I mean? It's like, you're a bad boy, and when you're a bad boy. And when you're a bad boy, that's why we stick you in the way back. Do you want to be in the way back?

Or do you want to be in the regular back? So we're close enough to have a good time in the car, Kyle. Are there cans in the way back? I need cans. So yeah, I was like, cut you off. He's like, I don't really make time for fake people. Bah. Yeah. So now the whole group is like downstairs So yeah, I was like, cut you off. He's like, I don't really make time for fake people. Baaah! Yeah.

So now the whole group is like downstairs in the quote unquote club that they've made. And they keep on saying like, when's Carl back? When's Carl? He's coming back tonight. So Paige is asking Lindsey about Steven. And Lindsey's talking about the PowerPoint. And Paige is like, if I got a PowerPoint from a guy,

I don't think I'd ever speak to him again. Also, it was dad. Oh, sorry Sierra. Yeah, but he's a marketing. Like Kyle and I, you know, we get our feelings out in 17-page emails. And then we see the 17-page emails from season's pass and it's hilarious all over again.

And then Paige is like, I'm walking, I'm follow. That's how I get my thoughts down. The love language of an influencer. That's one point. And it goes, oh, does anyone know where the clitoris is? Like, you guys need to learn to get it right. And it goes to the left. I miss that. I totally miss that. To the left, to the left, all the clearances in a hot dish to the left. So, um, uh, Hannah's like, well, do you want to be with him? I mean, he's got that hair. So Lindsay's like, well, I'm in a decision-making process. I mean, he's a good guy and he's trying. And do I have that patience to make it work? I don't know. It depends if I hear from ever

And So Kyle is asking Sarah about her relationships and her longest has been two and a half years two and a half years ago Because he cheated on on her and she went to therapy guys in order to figure it out and this is the Discussion already talked about I thought it was earlier where the producer is like, uh, do you have bad taste in men? So then, Carlos, like you're like mature, like, you know, like even though I said earlier, you were immature, like sorry about that. But like I liked a party and I'm looking for an excuse to have fun. So like, you know, I hear turned down the music and I'm like, fuck off. Yeah, yeah. she doesn't even care. Yeah, she literally does not care. She was on the phone with Shannon the entire time like they want to turn the music down. Really? Tell me more. Tell me more. So then Danielle jumps in and she's like, yeah, like that's my one time to not think.

Yeah, my one escape and like you're judging me. And Hannah goes, um, how about we stop judging people for how hard they work? I might grow the fuck off. Which is funny, because that was totally Hannah projecting. I feel like her insecurity is about like her job onto them, right? Like he was just saying that he works hard and he, I mean, he, well, he was judging earlier.

Actually, I mean, don't get me wrong. He was judging, but I also feel like he's basically like, I'm working so hard, I need to release. And she I mean, don't get me wrong, he was judging, but I also feel like he's basically like, I'm working so hard, I need to release. And she's like, don't judge me! It's like, what? Oh. He's like, what is up here, ass Hannah? She goes, I wish something was on my ass

cause I feel a lot better. It's like, oh, good one. Uh. Anyway, I don't get it. You have issues. And she's like, well, yeah, I saw the anger cause you just invited me to a wedding with my friend. Oh. And we get it. You have issues and she's like, well, yeah, I saw the anger because you did some fun in me. You're a wedding with my friend.

No. Well, for three years in a row, you drag my relationship through the dirt. And she's like, everyone here has had opinions on your relationship and I've knocked on farther than anyone else. And he's like, well, my issue with you is that you're not a good friend of people.

That's not true. I watch you treat your friends like shit. Everyone in this house has an issue with you. I'm like, so you're allowed to say that she has bad relationships with everyone in the house. But when she says anything that like alludes to your relationship with Amanda, that's off limits. Yeah.

And he also talks about everybody's relationship in the house. So I'm not sure. And also you subjected us to your shitty relationship. Well, I guess it's not shitty because they're still together. Okay. But it had a big city in that. It's like I get calls point for five years. Yeah, I mean, like I get calls point.

It's like we had a rough patch and we've moved forward and you're kind of like keep bringing us back to a dark place. But at the same time, everyone did have to also like deal with that for summers. And I think everyone's allowed to have have some like whip lash with that, you know? I don't know, this is like a fight where I'm I don't know what's set up. I don't know, like you came to the park.

I know, here you are again, ruining everybody's day. Both of you, just shut up. Josh, Josh, watch Love Island. So Hannah's like, I love Paige, I love Amanda, I love everyone in the house. Who the hell would have an issue with? And Lindsay's like, oh, why don't you guys just go and have a talk? No, like, why you have to do this right here, right? So Carl is like, well, she's talking about my relationship, the most negative way for

three years. But again, I'm like, well, but you guys were in a pretty negative space for three years. Yeah. And he's just like, well, she said you can't yell at her like a man like you yell at Amanda, but I don't think she meant it that bad. She just meant that you talked to Amanda like you're yelling sometimes in the scrouse. But I don't think that that's how she really meant it. And then she tells us how much they're the same. They both don't want all the attention. They both have to be right about everything. And then she tells us how much they're the same. They both want all the attention. They both have to be right about everything.

And they both have the need to have everybody in the house on their side. And she's like, I need Carl back. I feel safer with Carl at the house. And I don't think anyone has ever said that ever. Yeah, 2020 has been a weird year, I tell you. So Hannah is like, you figure the boss of the house and you're not. So she is like, I'm done. And she walks away. And cause like, what figure the boss of the house and you're not. And so she is like, I'm done and she walks away. And cause like, what the fuck was that?

It's like, that's not how you talk to your friends. Everyone knows the way you talk to your friends. You say that they're all immature. You just want to send it. So he's still going off and let's, he's like, you're problem right now should be having fun. I said that. So Danielle ends up being the only one.

Like this is so good. Just dancing on the side. It just feels with Danielle dancing by herself. As usual. Like, do I get to talk about this guy talking to him the phone yet? No? Okay, I'll just dance. I'll just dance.

So that's food. So they're ordering food and let's play a little game called Kua Kuba Kuba. It was called Kuba Kuba. Yeah, yeah, it's basically the hot dish of games just amazing and we all love it in Minnesota You know, so who wants to play some goob? Anyone want to play some goob? Okay, here's how it goes You throw some wood at Cal's nuts. Okay, everyone. Let's go be in So then Hannah is calling to us I'm gonna shoot you know the way she relates the story. Oh my God, this is terrible.

Like this guy straight hates me. Like he's freaking out. Like a terrible, he's a terrible, horrible person. Like he's going on about how we should have, you know, we should have partied with him all night. And like he thinks he's better than me in every combat of there. I'm like, okay, that was a point.

That's not the, that's not the point. That's not the point. What happened? You know what? Yeah. Yeah, that was quite what happened. Yeah. And then everyone, you know, now they have food. And so they're eating and stuff. And look like, look, these are nice bags. What are we paying for the bags or paying for the food? Oh, God, I got to call my mom.

Hey, man, I just made this joke. I said, are we paying for these bags or what? Like, what's going on? These are some expensive bags. What did I say it again? Does anyone remember that joke I made? Anyone? Thanks.

So Carl's pulling back in. And he was home and he talks about how tough it was, but just to see his parents together, getting over their issues to come back together and a lot to him. And then downstairs, the friends are talking about, you know, just what they do. I got bowling. I wrote that down to I got bowling is how many bowling eases have you gotten me? I said, then it's like when I eat quirms, I'm like, Kyle singing, how do I get ahead of mine? Hmm.

So then Carl's back, they see Carl, I was like, oh, I'm back, I'm back. Cause he's up on a balcony. They can't, I guess he's sort of like in semi quarantine. I'm assuming they did a COVID test, but they don't have the results yet. So he sort of has to like isolate a little bit. So he's like, oh, sorry, I miss you guys.

Sorry, I feel the love. I miss you guys, I miss you guys. You look hug. I feel the love. I miss you guys. I miss you guys. You look great by the way. And then they play Southern charm music, which is really weird. It's like, but I'm, I don't know why. But they all eat and see her. It takes Carla drink and, um, Paige is talking to Amanda.

She's like, oh my god, because now they're all like getting ready for bed, I guess. And Luke is hitting hockey pucks against the wall in his room, which I hope the landlord is watching this. Cause that's the whole shit. He was rolling, bleeding and now he is hitting hockey stuff. Great. This is why you never read. Okay.

This is why. So Paige is like, I'm in that. Come listen to what Luke does every night. Oh my god. Is it the coyote thing? No, no the banging thing Oh, yeah, I hear that too and then when you say stop he's like what? Yeah, and then Lindsey's like yeah me a drink Steven has been texting me You know what son I like? It's also the sound of me falling down staircase even has been texting me. You know what son I like? And go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, it's all this time to be fallin' down, it's their kiss. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go every month. Oh, thanks, Lindsay.

Imagine, I think I just did. And I'm like, okay. So Paige is asking about, oh, Paige is like, so tell me about your chef, Danielle. And that's bad as far as that gets. And then Hannah's like, oh, I'm doing something I'm doing. Sorry, Danielle, we're gonna say something. So then everyone's getting ready to go to bed. Kyle Farts on Amanda and bad.

And then Humps are like, yeah. And Hannah and Paige gossip about Kyle being a dick. And you know, if my fiance was fighting with my friends, I would break off with him. Oh. And then Amanda's telling Kyle that he's a dick My fiance was fighting with my friends. I would break off with him And then Amanda's telling Kyle that he's a dick in the way that expresses his feelings and that she's like you have Fowl at points Kyle, but the second you say mean shit. You just become wrong Kyle And she's like it seems like how now wants to do anything to take Kyle down What how did we get to that? She told him to fuck off my job. She basically you're right. She said fuck off and cause like

and That's that's where we are so and then we got the mincees and trailer which looks fun and That looks like there's gonna be a big fight can't wait for it it. Super fun times. And Lindsay Fox Luke, O.M. Oh my God. The moment we've all been not waiting for. How many hot dishes have you made me? Mm-hmm. Actually so many. Oh right, please stop that actually.

It's uncomfortable. How can I drive you away if you actually meet all my needs, Luke? Ha ha ha. All right, everybody. That brings us to the end of summer house in all case. drive you away if you actually meet all my needs Luke. All right, everybody, that brings us to the end of summer house in all case. Yeah, everyone have a wonderful weekend. We'll be back on Monday with some real housewives of Atlanta. And we will talk to you all next time. And bye, everyone.

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