Watch What Crappens - The Hot Mess That Was "Watch What Happens Live: All Stars"

Episode Date: April 10, 2012

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Starting point is 00:00:00 From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. This episode of Watch What Crappens is brought to you by Gamefly. Go to Gamefly.com forward haha for your free 15-day trial. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Countess speaking. We have arrived.
Starting point is 00:00:37 Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crappens, a weekly podcast about all things Bravo. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com. And with me is Matt Woodfield from Yahoo. Hi Matt. Hey Ben, how are you? I'm just fantastic. And Ronnie Karen from tvgasm.com. How are you Ronnie? Hey, I'm good. How are you guys?
Starting point is 00:01:00 That felt fake. No, I'm just kidding. It did. It kinda was. Wow, we have so much to cover this week. We say that every week, but this week we truly have so much to cover. We, my God, we have to talk about not only two of the Housewives shows, as usual, and not only Shaw's The Sunset, but then there was this crazy, crazy thing that we're going to start off with. Last week, it was the Watch What Happens All-Stars reunion. I think it was just called Watch What Happens Live All-Stars, right?
Starting point is 00:01:31 That is correct, and I over-hyped it on this podcast last week because I thought it was going to be Christmas meets Hanukkah meets Easter, and my birthday all rolled into one. And yet... And yet it was the biggest disaster in television history it was it was the biggest disaster since andy cohen thought it'd be a good idea to have the real housewives of miami reunion live on watch what happens it was a total total disaster and it was so um it was sort of so sticky and silly that but but not enough that it was sort of like enjoyably charming, you know? It was just a full out and out disaster. Andy Cohen is just so bad at
Starting point is 00:02:09 hosting. He's so awkward and, you know, when it's just him wasted in the studio, that's one thing. Just sitting around getting drunk because he's just kind of like a wasted dork. You know? So it kind of works, but man, when he has to run a show, oh no, no. You won't be taking over Late Show, works. But, man, when he has to run a show, oh, no, no.
Starting point is 00:02:25 You won't be taking over Late Show, buddy. Well, the funny thing is, like, the poor guy, like, Bravo has come so far in the past three or four years. Yeah. It's become, like, quality trash on cable, you know? Uh-huh. Well-oiled machine. Well-oiled machine. It's not trying to be any AMC or FX up in here, but it did reality better than anybody.
Starting point is 00:02:43 Yeah. And then that show took them five years back. It took them into the dark ages before they even had Inside the Actor's Studio. It was cheap and crappy. It was like if we were to invite all of those people onto a show and then put it on the air.
Starting point is 00:02:56 I was just going to say, our podcast, us sitting in your living room, is classier than that piece of shit. It was a full-on disaster because Andy Cohen has a hard enough time keeping three people on his show. Andy Cohen has a hard enough time reading his cue cards. Well, he's cross-eyed. Hello. Here he had not just, like, several guests,
Starting point is 00:03:18 not just a crowd of drunken people, but these were all Bravo stars jockeying for time and attention. My mind goes immediately to this epic disaster that was some sort of weird Real Housewives, Blondes vs. Brunette, East Coast vs. West Coast disaster. And that was honestly, that honestly made the Miami reunion look like a tea party.
Starting point is 00:03:38 It made Miami look like Downton Abbey. It was the OC and the Beverly Hills Housewives against Atlanta, New York, and New Jersey in some bizarro stupid contest. And after about two seconds it just became a screaming match with Ramona and Candy
Starting point is 00:03:54 and Vicky. Vicky was screaming. Vicky was on a power play. She was the one who insisted that she answer the questions. Ramona was going nuts. Andy keeps calling her the OG. She is. She is, but her head is already inflated, so it was just a complete disaster, and for the last 20 minutes, the audio
Starting point is 00:04:09 was off. Oh, God. It was just, it was scratching. It was someone, someone's mic was scratching up against their shirt, and I don't think that they could tell whose mic they left off. No, so they just kept rolling with it. Oh, my God. Everything was just, everything was so horrific in so many ways, and the thing is that, like, halfway through, he had
Starting point is 00:04:25 lost the audience, which was the biggest problem. He was trying to do this show. You could hear the audience murmuring and just chatting, and it was just... They were talking above him, and then they kept showing, they would cut away and they would show the different tables. Nini was sitting there shooting daggers, like, my fucking contract is putting
Starting point is 00:04:41 my ass in the seat, but I want to kill myself. Yeah, it reminded me of, like, terrible dinner theater in the Bayou or something like that. Or that's what I imagined it would be like, because I've never been to terrible dinner theater in the Bayou. I did terrible dinner theater in Jupiter, Florida for an entire year, and trust me, it was not that bad. Was it like that scene from Soap Dish in the beginning? Yes, it was a lot of candy wrappers, a lot of Robert Goulet talking about his glory days on a little pull-down screen. Everything was a disaster. You know, their comic segments went on too long.
Starting point is 00:05:14 The games were too long. Yeah, the endless one about what happens next, and they had four people on that couch. You know, Jeff Lewis was trying to do his dry humor thing. It wasn't landing. The audience didn't get it. No, because all of these stars, Tabitha and especially Jeff and even Bethany, they kind of need an editor to package them up and to give them the sound bites properly. Bethany was a dud. I mean, Kathy Griffin, my goodness, she was the best part.
Starting point is 00:05:39 I mean, she was on the first five minutes and then she was gone. She looked like, I mean, you could tell she was taking it all in, ready to repurpose it as for her act because it was a hot mess. A hot mess is being generous, but there were a few things that we do need to address that did come out of this all-star disaster. So
Starting point is 00:05:57 we found out a lot of new shows did get picked up. Some of our returning favorites. Tabitha is coming back for another season. Flipping Out is coming back. Yes. Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles is coming back for another season. Flipping Out is coming back. Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles is coming back. I don't know why, but it is. By the way, those guys had way too much time on screen during that entire... You don't see Madison as a real Bravo star.
Starting point is 00:06:16 No, and he's an idiot. You know what? When he took his microphone... For some reason, this really bothered me. This is Ben's little soapbox moment. He said something and in the studio it sounded really loud. So then he took his mic reason this really bothered me this is like ben's little like uh like soapbox moment because he he said something and in the studio it played i guess sounded really loud so then he took his mic and he like lowered it down his shirt i'm like you don't do that you don't get to do that well and then he said i sounded really loud like shut up he's just dumb anyway the dumbest thing is rosie pope and
Starting point is 00:06:39 that stupid fucking show pregnant in heels is coming back which had no viewers yeah well i have i have not seen that show but i'll watch it now just because of how she talks. What the hell's going on with that woman? Yeah, she has that weird talk. What the? It's like Barney Frank and Elmer Fudd for me. With a little Mary Poppins in there, too. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:58 It's one of Abby Elliot's few successful impersonations on SNL. That is true. I will say this, though. My favorite show did get renewed, which I did not think was coming back based on its low viewership. What? Million Dollar Decorators with Martin Lawrence Blunt. Did I mention on this
Starting point is 00:07:14 podcast that I once saw him at Fresh and Easy and it just seemed woefully out of character to see this guy, Martin Lawrence. Well, he is delicious. He was carrying around a little green basket. I was like around a little green basket. I was like, why are you shopping here with me in the budget supermarket? I like things fresh.
Starting point is 00:07:32 He's an island. Anyway, I tweeted it, and he and Catherine Ireland both tweeted me back. Oh, they seem fantastic. I would love to drink cocktails with them, I have to say. I didn't make it through that season. That was boring. It was just people going shopping for stuff you're a bad gay Ronnie just deal with it
Starting point is 00:07:49 I don't even like those shows I'm a good gay I watch the million dollar listings you guys don't even watch those I watch the LA one I won't watch the New York pretty much any show on Bravo that starts with million dollar I don't watch it's just not in my character. Oh, you have to watch the New York one because there's the Swedish porn star.
Starting point is 00:08:11 I know. Or you can just watch his hornos. It's probably just as entertaining. But anyway, so we saw some of the shows that were coming, the new shows. And I have to say, I wasn't totally impressed with pretty much any of them although i think there was one that i think uh seemed amusing to me i don't remember if it was the art one or it has to be silicon valley no that one specifically i thought looked bad well they're all gonna be like they're all gonna be 23 year old millionaires who are just screwing
Starting point is 00:08:38 each other and then trying to do big business listen all these shows are just gonna be variations on chef roble and company let's be be honest. Oh, and the fact that he even... Chef Roble burn. Burn. Wasn't he there, actually? Yeah, he was the caterer for the night. Oh, wow. Did he get any screen time?
Starting point is 00:08:53 I don't think I saw him. No, he didn't. He just got a shout out. No screen time, and Melissa Gorga recycled that goddamn old song of hers, and Luann... Oh, that was painful. Well, at least Luann seems to know that she's hilarious. Luann was the best part of the entire show. Yeah, her butt bumping and stuff.
Starting point is 00:09:10 I mean, at least she's being silly. Melissa Gorga, no, no, no, no, girl, no. Yeah, well, I mean, it's a sliding scale when we're talking about the singers on The Real Housewives. Let's not forget that either. singers on The Real Housewives. Let's not forget that either. But, you know, speaking of this was really a low point for
Starting point is 00:09:29 Watch What Happens, but perhaps a high point was the fact that over the weekend, Saturday Night Live totally parodied Watch What Happens, and it was a really funny skit. Did you guys see it? I did see it. No, who played Andy? The new guy, Taron something. He was alright.
Starting point is 00:09:45 I didn't love his Andy impersonation. He was a little too jittery, like Andy Cohen on Coke, which I don't think he does. Yeah, but I thought he didn't get the, oh my God, guys thing totally down pat. But the rest was good. And the new girl on SNL did a spot on Tabitha. It was hilarious. Oh, that was one of the best parts of the entire show. I mean, her Tabitha. It was hilarious. Oh, that was one of the best parts of the entire show. I mean, her Tabitha was dead on
Starting point is 00:10:06 and then they had Sofia Vergara and one of the other girls on the show were playing... Nassim Pedrad. We're playing Gigi and MJ. And that was kind of funny, but I was just enjoying it because after watching the disaster that was the All-Star event, I loved
Starting point is 00:10:21 seeing Andy Cohen get skewered. And he was being night like the other day on watch what happens last night actually on sunday night he thought that it was like really funny and but i thought that he was secretly hiding the fact that he was hurt because they skewered his ass they they really really skewered it and um i mean it's obviously sort of like a huge like compliment to be you know skewered SNL, but I hope he actually took something from it. But I thought it was a funny skit. I hope he took something from it.
Starting point is 00:10:50 That's funny. I hope he learned something from that skit. Well, it's about time someone skewered him, because he's ripe for it, and people don't seem to really be able to get it down. I can't get it down. The funniest part to me was like, hey, and we always have two
Starting point is 00:11:06 guest stars, somebody from one of the crap reality shows, and then an A-list star that you can't believe knows what the fuck Bravo is or watches this shit. That was great. And you know what? The audience was laughing at everything. All the jokes were landing, which goes to show it was resonating. And it also, I mean, if I can go on my little
Starting point is 00:11:22 SNL soapbox, SNL can be so funny when they parody things. Sometimes they get away from that. They just do weird characters. This was ripe for the taking. I was glad to see SNL take on Bravo. And I thought this was their best Bravo parody skit they've ever done, to be honest. Really?
Starting point is 00:11:36 Did you think it was better than the real Disney princesses? Yeah, I didn't think the real, I thought the real Disney princesses thing was half-baked. I thought it was like a funny idea, but it wasn't a great execution but funny moments i'll give you that i'll give you that but i i just the point is i love andy getting steward it's about time the show has now gone off the rails and it is a disaster we'll see if he can get it back on track but after last week's show oh yeah it'll be fine you know sort of like the show's appeal is just the fact that it's such a mess. Well, and even last week's show really didn't hit the fan until that Housewives
Starting point is 00:12:09 segment. That's when it really went to shit. It's like when you're in school and one little kid starts talking and then everybody suddenly, like a circus, he just can't control those women. God bless him. He needs a spanker, somebody to just come out and start hitting them. It's like our podcast, quite frankly.
Starting point is 00:12:25 Spanking and all? No, just meaning that we're just like kids screaming. And, well, the good news is we're going to get more screaming next Sunday when we have the first installment of three of the Atlanta Housewives reunion. Because three? Oh, God. It looks like a disaster. And you know what?
Starting point is 00:12:41 Thank God they're bringing something. Because you know what? The finale was one of probably ranks up there in terms of terrible finales along with the Beverly Hills Pandora wedding finale. I mean, this was about as boring and as dull a finale as you can imagine. I have to be honest with you. I watched this less than 24 hours ago and I don't remember what happened. Well, I can actually remember. There were some noteworthy things that happened. All I remember is there were about four people standing outside of the Bailey agency, and
Starting point is 00:13:09 there might have been a fashion show that was terrible. I, for some reason, I have very vivid memories of oily, black, muscular guys, shirtless, giving massages. I don't know why I remember that. I don't know why that sticks out in my mind. Yeah, because you're a category expert. Yeah, no kidding.
Starting point is 00:13:26 Because you like giant, oily black guys. Probably. Perhaps. I can either confirm nor deny. I'm just saying that those scenes really stuck out in my mind. That's all I'm saying. Okay, well, that jogged my memory. So, obviously, we had the launch party for the new bedroom candy.
Starting point is 00:13:41 Now, wait. Let's get into this for a moment. So, Candy, obviously, as you know, is launching her sex toys. And she tweeted out and invited all her Twitter followers to come and check out the goods. And so they all showed up. I mean, you know, as one would expect. And then NeNe and Cynthia and Marlo, the talls, showed up. And they had a full-on attitude.
Starting point is 00:14:00 They were saying, oh, there are a lot of Twitter people here, which was their veiled way of saying. Well, my new favorite term is Twitter party. I love that. Oh, that's a Twitter party. Yeah. I know a Twitter party when I see one. I love that. She probably doesn't realize that people probably have similar euphemisms for her when she shows up at a swanky party, you know?
Starting point is 00:14:19 Well, here's the thing. Like, Candy is actually a semi-smart businesswoman. I'm going to give her credit for that. And the fact is, she invited people who are going to pay money for her products. Yeah. And it's like, and you know, she still did it, even with the shirtless guys. It actually did come off as a fairly refined sort of. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:14:38 I'm not going to call it refined. Not refined, but meaning like it wasn't, it didn't seem like a body, like, sex toy thing. It wasn't like a red light district thing. It felt like a sex in the city tone, which is what it should have been. Yeah, I mean, Atlanta is still working on getting, you know, the term classy down. I mean, you can't... Classy with a K. Classy with a K and maybe a backwards K because, you know, bedroom B is backwards.
Starting point is 00:15:00 Do you think she should have had an exclusive event first and then have something for the Twitter people? No, because guess what? This is all that they can afford. That's fine. She lives within her means. She's not as ridiculous as these other people. However, I do have a problem with Candy, as you know. And she's sitting there on screen the other night and she's going, well, you know, I had this idea and then five months later, oh my
Starting point is 00:15:20 God, it came to fruition. I'm such a genius and I'm a baller. And here's the reality of the fact fact she slapped her name on a fucking line of sex toys and the company is using her for her name and she's using them because they designed every fucking item so academy is a new scripted podcast that follows ava richards played by hbo's industries my holla herald a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List,
Starting point is 00:15:55 Bishop Grey's all-coveted academic top ten, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death.
Starting point is 00:16:24 Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February.
Starting point is 00:17:03 And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:17:24 Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. No response to that. I am fine with her making money, and I think it is a smart business move on her part. She's like, you know what I'm going to do? I've got five months. You know what I'm going to do?
Starting point is 00:17:48 I'm going to slap my name on this product that's already going into production, and we both benefit. And now five months later, here it's working out. She just can't fool anybody that she designed any of this shit. Like, somebody puts like a – Well, she didn't try to. I mean, they showed the episode with her picking stuff they already had. No, excuse me. She's sitting there thinking
Starting point is 00:18:05 that she is a genius. Are you mad that you don't have some sex toys of your own that you can't put the Matt Whitfield name on to? You're mad that Candy took the inventory. It sounds like you need that handlebar one that also gets your outside. Apparently anybody can have one. The Matt Whitfield clit stick.
Starting point is 00:18:22 Now he's watching his pearls. He's so unhappy right now. You guys should see his face. Anywho, I think that it's good that she had a big Twitter party because if she had tried to do something exclusive, then that would have actually tried to create some sort of suggestion that this is sort of like an upscale exclusive thing. And it just would not have worked. It would have been like
Starting point is 00:18:45 it's sex toys. It's not like a Lamborghini. If she didn't have this party we also wouldn't have Nene getting offended and stomping out and then Kim delivering one of the best lines in Real Housewives history when she mentioned that, you know, Nene has a dick in her pants. Which I thought was just genius.
Starting point is 00:19:01 It is true and I like that Mimi dressed up like the green M&M for the occasion. I thought that was a really nice touch. With half the shell on, half the shell off. You guys, is Nina coming back? I mean, she's just so over it. She was barely even in the season. She won't film with anybody.
Starting point is 00:19:16 And if she does, she sits there with that dagger look on her face. Yeah, I think that they should drop her. How is she going to be back? They should drop her. I think that there's going to be a major overhaul. And here's the situation. You know Sharae got fired, right? What?
Starting point is 00:19:28 Well, that's the latest gossip. It hasn't been confirmed. Well, she wasn't at the All-Star Party. Yeah, they say that before the All-Star Party happened, she demanded as much money as Nene, because I guess Nene and Kim probably get the most money out of that show. And they said no, because she's not worth it. She was out of there. I guess sheini and Kim probably get the most money out of that show. And they said no because she's not worth it
Starting point is 00:19:46 and she was out of there. She got fired or she decided to walk away? Well, she probably said, I'm not coming back unless I get. So they were like, Bravo does not fuck around. These women start to take notes. Did they not see what happened to the cast
Starting point is 00:20:02 of New York City? Yeah, and I'm sorry, but we have to be honest here. As much as I hate Jill Zarin, she is one of the most prominent, recognizable housewives. They fucking cut her ass out. They cut her ass out, and you know what? To be frank, they should cut Nini. Like Ronnie was saying, she's not
Starting point is 00:20:17 fun anymore. She doesn't record with people. She doesn't play nice. She's not relatable anymore, quite frankly. She's just like a bitch. She is a character. She is funny. But she is also unpleasant. And you know what? It must piss her off that Kim has a whole spinoff. And she doesn't.
Starting point is 00:20:32 Okay, well let me ask you guys this. Now, if Sheree is gone from the smalls, and if NeNe is gone from the talls, Marlo is not an official cast member. And Cynthia cannot exist without NeNe's teat to suckle on. So that would mean a serious rehaul of this cast. Can the show go forward with Candy, Kim, and Phaedra and three or four new women? Yes. Oh, God. It can always go forward.
Starting point is 00:20:56 It's like terrorism, you know? You chop off the head of the tacky bitch and there's always another tacky bitch, right? Growing up, right? Yeah, three more spreads. Yeah, I think Atlanta seems like it's a wellspring for ninnies and charades. I mean, I love charade. You're going to be really devastated without charade.
Starting point is 00:21:13 I think I will, too. I will, but you know what, though? I think I'll be okay. I think I'll actually be okay. I mean, I like charade. Do you think that one of the reasons why they... You know, one of the reasons why I... You know, this is just coming to mind
Starting point is 00:21:24 that she may no longer be part of the cast. You know at the end of the finale when they give like two or three sentences for each person? They kind of do something nice for everybody but for her they kind of slammed her by saying that Chateau Charest was still under construction slash they still haven't really broken ground. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:40 Well, what else did she do all year? She didn't do anything. I mean, this was the second season in a row that she didn't do anything. She didn't have an acting. She stirred the drama with the black baby. Yeah, she did. I mean, she's done some stuff, but she didn't have any really major arcs. And do I need to reenact Marlo versus Sheree in Africa?
Starting point is 00:21:57 That was great. And you know what? The truth is that there were only two arguments all season long, and Sheree was in both of them. That is true. You know? Yeah, but you know what? Those were terrible, terrible arguments. They were. And you know what? Those were terrible, terrible arguments. They were.
Starting point is 00:22:06 And you know what? No, Ronda, you're right. She didn't have any major arcs going on or nothing too interesting. But I mean, I love Shrae. I'm sorry, she was more important to the show than fucking Cynthia. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:14 Cynthia is almost becoming important to the show in that she's so awful, it's almost entertaining to watch how much more awful she can get. Case in point, her model search. And I put this out on my blog. They call themselves the Bailey Agency School for Fashion. So is it an agency or is it a school?
Starting point is 00:22:35 And if they're an agency, why are they placing them with other agencies? Well, agencies are supposed to rep people and schools take your money. So I think that she just wants to take their money and then maybe send their resumes and photo shoot, like, headshots off to New York, and then when nobody takes them, then she's really sucked them dry of $2,000 and they have no jobs. Yeah, I mean, far be it for me to question Peter and
Starting point is 00:22:55 Cynthia, who have shown, like, wonderful management skills and business, you know, acumen. Oh, look at us, 50 cent words. We are very smart. We are. Clearly we don't belong in Atlanta. Yeah, you know what, though? I think, honestly at us. 50 cent words. We are very smart. We are. Clearly we don't belong in Atlanta. You know what though? I think honestly,
Starting point is 00:23:08 Phaedra and Candy are so funny together. When they get together, it's just a whole bunch of, girl, come over here girl. I love that. I love that. At this point, they should just make Candy's mom Joyce a cast member
Starting point is 00:23:21 and Brielle and we're good to go. Yeah, I think I'm happy. You know, the problem with this, now that we're looking back on the season, it's suffering from what all the seasons except for the first have, which is that it starts off all blustery and full of fighting, and then it just mellows out, and there's really not much going on with these women. Well, the show, and this happens on all of these franchises or these editions, when the show continues and a line is drawn in the sand, you have two separate groups of friends and they don't want to tape together.
Starting point is 00:23:51 And in reality, they don't hang out. So it's all forced when they are together. And you know what? I think that's why you've got to stick with one crew or the other, chop the rest off and move forward. That's exactly what they did with New York. And at that All-Star special, they, you know, showcased the three new women that are joining the New York cast. Let's talk about that for a second.
Starting point is 00:24:10 Let's just get back to that for one moment. Unless anyone has any more pressing thoughts on Atlanta. I'm just excited for the reunion because I think that Nene and Kim are going to go at each other. Yeah. Sharae is going to go at Nene. They're all going at each other. It looks like they have, I mean...
Starting point is 00:24:24 Candy is screaming. Candy doesn't scream in Candy. Yeah. Candyarae is going to go at me. They're all going at each other. It looks like, I mean. Candy is screaming. Candy doesn't scream in Candy. Yeah. Candy is screaming bloody murder. Who is the one? Was it Kim who said something about measuring your hole? I thought, whoa, this is going to be good. Well, right there.
Starting point is 00:24:34 I mean, DVR said. Yeah. Exactly. So we'll have three good weeks of that, but let's talk about the three new New York ladies. Yeah. How did you guys, what did you guys think about these three new women? One of them looks like she doesn't even have a whole leg. I mean, what's up with that?
Starting point is 00:24:44 I mean, how could she not have a whole leg? What is this, the Manzing Race? I didn't even notice that. Is there a peg leg on there? Yeah, well, no, she just has a big wheel that squeaks. No. No, no. They show it really quickly in one of the previews
Starting point is 00:25:00 that she takes off her leg or something. And surprisingly, it's not Paul McCartney's ex-wife. No, it's not. It looks like there's a lot of screaming. It looks like the drama will be there. They all have weird teeth and lips. And they scream. But quite frankly, at the end of the day,
Starting point is 00:25:18 I'm just happy to see Ramona and Luann going at it for round 400. You know, I'm fine with that, but I'm going to be honest with you. I'm excited for the new season of New York because it secretly is my favorite edition. However, I really am already missing Crazy
Starting point is 00:25:34 Kelly, Ben Simone, and Nasty Evil Bitch Jill, and even Cindy Barshop. I don't miss Cindy. I honestly... Poor Alex. She didn't even make it into your subconscious. I know. I like Alex.
Starting point is 00:25:47 Actually, Alex and I were tweeting together today, you know, just to brag a little bit. Actually, she accidentally dropped me, and I called her out, and then she guilted her back into following me. Oh, because you guys are besties. Yeah. That's what besties do. Yeah. So that's how high I rank rank in that I just get dropped by
Starting point is 00:26:05 reality stars. You have to admit, though, that these women are not going to bring the crazy the way... Nobody can ever bring the crazy the way... Oh, come on now. Excuse me. Have you seen the previews that they showed? I have seen the previews, but can you, like, take a rewind in your head and remember how crazy Kelly Ben-Simon was? Here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:26:21 The New York cast has always benefited from having an absurd surplus of crazy. Like, no other cast has ever been able thing. The New York cast has always benefited from having an absurd surplus of crazy. Like, no other cast has ever been able to touch the New York cast. Because, you know, each cast would be lucky enough to have just a Ramona. Or a half a Countess. Just a half a Countess. Half a Countess. Or even, you know, honestly, like, a quarter of a Kelly Ben Simone, you know?
Starting point is 00:26:42 They have not only a Ramona. They not only have a Kelly. They not only had Luann. They had, you know? They have not only a Ramona, they not only have a Kelly, they not only had Luann, they had Bethany at one point, Sonya, Jill, Alex, I mean, everyone. These were like varsity members that every cast would be happy to have. Okay, so I'll just say this.
Starting point is 00:26:58 I have a hard time with change. Yes. So I'm a little nervous, and I really did not like seeing in the preview that the three new women are their own clique I don't want to see the three of them just battle Sonya and Ramona all season if there's no interaction I'm not going to
Starting point is 00:27:14 well one thing that's going to be really good about that is that it looks like Sonya is on continuing on her spiral downward C word path it looks like she just becomes like the wicked witch this season I cannot wait her spiral downward C word path. It looks like she just becomes like the Wicked Witch this season. I cannot wait.
Starting point is 00:27:27 And her face always looks more and more buffed down. Like someone took like a wooden, like one of those wood buffer things, like something you put over a floor to smooth it out. That's what she's doing to her face. She's losing more and more features every time I see her. It's amazing to think that Sonya
Starting point is 00:27:41 used to be my favorite housewife of all time. There was a, her first season. She's horrible. Her first season, she was like daffy and sort of aloof and just like, oh, I don't know why everyone just doesn't have a drink, you know? And then girlfriend realized in order to make it onto a second season, I better crank up the crazy. Oh, and she cranked it up like a toaster on overdrive. And then she fisted her toilet. Yes, she did.
Starting point is 00:28:03 Oh, that was so pathetic. God, that was so sad when she called that plumber over and I want to cry for her. My other favorite thing is that her townhouse is totally gray gardens. Yes. And it is a complete shithole. But she said she's selling it. Did you hear her say that?
Starting point is 00:28:19 Because she has to. Yeah, she has to. Yeah, by selling it, she means the bank has put a lock on the door. Yeah, that's pretty much right. I still love, though, Luanne accusing Ramona of blackmail and then saying, what other crazy lies do you have, you're a pinot-filled ass? See, here, we have to bank on Luanne to carry this now, because Ramona can't just carry this torch alone, because she really is insane.
Starting point is 00:28:44 She's like orange juice concentrate. You need to dilute her a little bit in order to enjoy her. Significantly, with a little grige. But Luanne, I think, took a page out of Bethany's book and she has mastered the craft of the one-on-one confessional interview and it's going to be filled with bon mots all season long. Yeah, you know, there was a period of time when I thought Luann
Starting point is 00:29:06 was the best housewife of all time, and then when I did a ranking on my blog about a year and a half ago, I put her on the worst list, but now I think I'm moving her back up to the best, because even though she can be just honestly the biggest cunt of all time, I'm saying it, it's just the most
Starting point is 00:29:21 magnificent thing when she is. She's just, like, She's the best! She's the countess! I mean, it's like the most most magnificent thing when she is she's just like she's a countess she's the best she's the countess I mean like it's like you look forward
Starting point is 00:29:29 I mean like she makes the show I mean you can't help but feel warm things towards her that's true I'm not excited yet because I don't get
Starting point is 00:29:36 too excited until it's right in front of my face but one thing that is on my mind is what will Ramona be plugging next I can't wait to see
Starting point is 00:29:43 what her next product will be there'll be a new Jesus-inspired something from Mario's Diamond Crystal. Like true religion or true... One of them is real. Wait, what? Why are you guys saying religion?
Starting point is 00:29:55 Mario's business is based on selling like crystallized cross pendants. Yeah. That's awesome. After she tried to have a sex scene with him last year. Yeah, I mean, they're good Christians that do it on live TV. Is it called True Religion or is that the genes? True Religion is the genes in the shoes.
Starting point is 00:30:11 Theirs is like true faith. True faith. Something like that. They love a bedazzled Fleur de Lis baby tea. Well, speaking of true faith and religious zealots, why don't we move down to Orange County? Okay, Alexis Bellino. It was Easter this weekend,
Starting point is 00:30:27 and our friend Lisa Timmons, by the way, went to an Easter service yesterday and saw Gretchen and Slade there. Stop. She took a picture of them. The picture with the back of their heads. Wow. I'm jealous.
Starting point is 00:30:39 Yeah, I wish Alexis were there. So we had a new episode of Real Housewives of Orange County last week. It was off for one week. So in this episode, does anyone remember what happened? Alexis got her bandage off of her nose. Yeah, she cried. She got her bandage off. They went on a mud run.
Starting point is 00:30:56 There was a mud run and everybody got hurt. Yeah. We did see Tamara's creepy son from her first husband there. Oh, yeah, yeah, Ryan. Ryan was part of the mud run. Heather congratulated herself many times for getting herself dirty. She's like, I'm a joiner, I'm a joiner. Is that what she said? Is that her line?
Starting point is 00:31:13 She likes to join. Gretchen is worried that she's now, she's lost her voice after fighting with Vicky. By the way, how long is her voice going to be out? It's now been like about four episodes. She's like, I can't sing. I've lost my voice. She's setting up our expectations for the Pussycat Dolls derailment. Oh, yeah. And now she's hurt her ankle and she may not be able to dance on stage, which I kind of
Starting point is 00:31:34 think that Gretchen, perhaps Gretchen with a bad ankle might dance better than Gretchen with a good ankle. Although I take that back. I actually believe that Gretchen probably is pretty slinky up there. She's got a great body. She does. Well, so Pussycat Dolls. I actually believe that Gretchen probably is pretty slinky up there. She's got a great body. She does. Well, so pussycat dolls. I mean, come on.
Starting point is 00:31:48 You're bending over and touching your toes. How hard is that? Yeah, it's like throwing back your hair. A few yoga classes and she's good to go. It's more than I do. You don't want to see me do a pussycat doll dance. It's more like... Isn't that what your P90X is all about?
Starting point is 00:32:01 It'd be very awkward. It would just basically look like an old person trying to pick up a coin from the floor. Which is what I do at all times, by the way. Okay, back to Orange County. What else happened on this show? Was Tamara getting her boobs reduced? Or talking about it? She finally signed her divorce papers and cried.
Starting point is 00:32:20 You sent me a text afterwards and you said something about how much you hate Tamara and she's like a vile person. What did she do to make you so angry? Oh, yeah, that was a very angry text. I don't know. I don't know. You were really mad about it, though.
Starting point is 00:32:29 I don't know. She really pissed me off. You were furious. I get furious when I watch these people. I was like, damn. But I hadn't watched it yet. That's why I didn't text you back. I liked the violence of it.
Starting point is 00:32:40 But, yeah, she was being a big fake phony, but that's Tamara, you know? Yeah. I feel like something exciting happened during the mud run like uh i mean gretchen rankle heather's pervy husband was watching tamra like hose off her crotch and he was getting off on her but yeah and why would they not like hose off with the other people i mean what's going on with their celebrities were they like it's a twitter shower is that the problem probably i don't know i mean i got that late sorry, it's a Twitter shower? Is that the problem? Probably. I don't know. I mean... Sorry. I got that late. Sorry. It's okay. Welcome to the party, Ryan. Brianna is cancer-free. Vicky had to make her phone calls, which her first phone call had to be to Tamara, obviously.
Starting point is 00:33:16 Yeah. Yeah, exactly. There was that. You gotta love Tamara. This is Tamara's response. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Okay. Bye. Oh. I remember why I texted you guys. Oh, thank God. So Tamara goes to sign the divorce papers.
Starting point is 00:33:33 Then she walks out and she starts crying on the phone to Vicky. After she was crying in the office before she was going to sign the papers, no tears fell out of her eyes. Oh, she was tearing. Not one tear. And you can't tell me that that's plastic surgery. That is fake bullshit.
Starting point is 00:33:48 I hate her. I also, I love the way when she cries, she looks like she's just about to throw up, too. You know, she sort of like lurches forward and puts a hand over her mouth.
Starting point is 00:33:55 Like, she's either gonna cry or yak up a spinach salad. Excuse me, but like, you either cry or you don't cry. You know, there was no, there was no, like,
Starting point is 00:34:04 bubbling on her eyelids. You know, I don't, there was no, like, bubbling on her eyelids. You know, I don't think, I don't think I've actually seen an actual teardrop on any of these women in any of the years I've been watching this show. Oh, Taylor has had plenty of tears. Well, then there's... No, those aren't real. She just scrunches up her face weird. Yeah, that's just reserved sweat that she's collected. She keeps them in little sacks underneath her eyeballs.
Starting point is 00:34:22 Yeah, that's because Botox kills your sweat glands. So you can only sweat out of certain parts. You start sweating out of weird parts. Maybe she's like sweating out of her eyebrows now. Okay, so I think that we can... She sweats out of her elbow. We can all admit that the last episode of Orange County was kind of lame, just like the finale of Atlanta. However, thank God for Shaws of Sunset.
Starting point is 00:34:44 Yeah. Which unfortunately is wrapping up its first season next week with only a six-episode run. That was a really professional switchover. But before we leave Orange County, I want to bring up that it's all over the news today that Tamara went on, let me see what show, she went on the Dr. Oz show to discuss her boob, her boobie operation.
Starting point is 00:35:06 Uh-huh. And she said that she had lumps in her breasts and so she went to the doctor and found out she had, I go to the doctor and I have lumps in my breasts and I had cervical cancer that had to be removed. What? How do you have cervical cancer
Starting point is 00:35:22 in your breasts? I mean, I'm not a lady. I mean, I'm a lady, but I'm not a lady, so I don't know, like, can you tell that you have cervical cancer from lumps in your breasts? I'm not a lady. I'm a lady, but I'm not a lady. Can you tell that you have cervical cancer from lumps in your breasts? I don't know. I guess the doctor did the whole thing. But she had lumps in her breasts and cervical cancer on her pootie-poot.
Starting point is 00:35:39 But here's the question. If she had lumps on her breasts... Don't you think that shit would have been on TV? You know Tamara dreams. She probably creatively visualizes cancer so she can get more air time than Brianna. This is like the return of Mikhail Salahi saying that she suddenly suffers from MS. I mean, what Ronnie just said was kind of the most offensive and genius thing I've ever heard because it's so true. She is such a camera whore.
Starting point is 00:36:05 Or she maybe has a vagina on her chest. You never know. But lumps in her breasts, are those cancer lumps or just extra bags of silicone? The doctor probably told her, listen, I have a circular answer for you. And she's like, oh, cervical cancer.
Starting point is 00:36:24 Okay. Well, I'm reading this on people and the only reason i really read this trash is so i can read all the horrible horrible people commenting on it so that's like my hobby i love just swimming in the pool of human horrible violence well give us a give us a few that are talking shit on tamra well they're basically all saying, and I mean, this is like 90% of the people who are like, that's bullshit. She just wants attention. And P.S., cervical cancer is warts. Is it?
Starting point is 00:36:54 Is it really? Cervical cancer is like cervical cancer. It can cause, you know. So she's an STD riddled ho-bag. I just think it's so funny that everyone on the internet is so anti that someone comes out and says they have cancer and they're like, yeah, whatever, STD, slag. Okay, while we're on the topic of Tamara, this just jogged my memory and I'm super excited so I have to share. But Andy Cohen last night on Watch What Happens Live showcased the celebrities that are going to be on this week's show.
Starting point is 00:37:25 Tuesday night, Gina Kehoe returns to the Bravo Clubhouse. She'll be all past aggressive like, well, I guess I could come on here. It'll be right after OC, though. I cannot wait for my girl Gina Kehoe to talk shit on camera. She's going to bring some realness, some Kehoe realness to it.
Starting point is 00:37:41 Some Kehoe realness. I can't wait. Probably won't let her talk the whole damn time. He'll be like, we have another game! This one is Guess What Number I'm Thinking. And then I hope someone splashes wine in Gina's face again. Maybe Gina's awful gay can come out and throw a glass against the ground. Maybe Quinn Frye and her terrible wig will be the bartender.
Starting point is 00:38:04 Or Tammy Knickerbocker. I'm about to faint with excitement already, I have to say. But let's also talk about Shots at Sunset because Matt did give us a wonderful transition that we have since, you know, put to the side. Yeah, let's pretend we're back there. Yeah, let's pretend. It's very post-modern.
Starting point is 00:38:20 The structure goes back and forth. Okay, well, the show was all about two things. We'll start with the fight, and then we'll end with the tears. So, first, Golnessa, also known as Gigi, she got into a fight! Surprise! She got into a fight with a girl! With Asa's friend Asa, by the way, who was
Starting point is 00:38:36 looking like she was out of, like, a storybook version of Aladdin. I don't care! I love Asa, she's my favorite. Um, question for you. She was looking tarantulas like crazy. Where were they having dinner and has it closed yet? I'm glad you brought that up. It's a place called Chai.
Starting point is 00:38:50 Is that on Sunset right down the street? It's down the street from me and it's been open for about two years. And I've always wondered who actually goes there. Because there was one time where I wanted to go there and I walked up those little steps and I saw hookah. And I was like, oh, hell to the no. I'm not going to any restaurant that has hookahs on the veranda with an H, okay? Well, you know what? They were probably there because MJ lives across the street from you
Starting point is 00:39:10 and she could just roll herself down the hill. Yeah, exactly. So I have not gone to chai, although now I kind of want to go to chai before it closes down like all the other places these people go to. Destined for closing. This cast, wherever they go to, it's like the Grim Reaper. They go to an establishment's destined for closing. This cast, wherever they go to, it's like the Grim Reaper.
Starting point is 00:39:26 They go to an establishment and they close it down. They eat the last sliders that are left in the kitchen and then it closes. The Aria Casino is already closed. They love a sweet potato fry
Starting point is 00:39:36 and they love a slider. They do. And you know what? I didn't think Chai served those, but they got them. Well, you know, it's good.
Starting point is 00:39:41 I always called Chai Chai, Chai. I didn't even know how to say it. X-I? I didn't know, but it's good. I was called Chai. Chai. Chai. I didn't even know how to say it. Exci. I didn't know. But it's Chai. So they went there.
Starting point is 00:39:49 For a girls' night. Girls' night. Because Gigi's really good at girls' nights. Yeah, and these girls get along so famously. They really do, you know. So they all get together, and Gigi's hoping for no drama. And so far, it is a drama-free night. You know, Gigi confronts MJ about her being tardy.
Starting point is 00:40:05 And Asa's... No, but she says to MJ, I really want to talk to you about this at the right time and right place. So I'm going to talk to you about it now in front of a table of six women. With the camera rolling. Yes. With booze flowing. So, you know, it went over well.
Starting point is 00:40:20 There was no big problem. Although Asa brought a friend named, like... Sunny. Sunny. And Sunny sort of had one of these great sort of, like, quivering voices that I kind of love. The sort of voice that gets really shrill when it gets loud. And so Sunny made some remark that Gigi didn't like. So already, like, the Bravo, like, boom of...
Starting point is 00:40:39 You know, when they do that boom noise, like, boom, you know? It's like the boom of terribleness happens. Well, she did bring up the fact she said that at least you know I am a business woman and my daddy doesn't
Starting point is 00:40:50 pay for everything and we know how that sets Gigi off so Gigi was controlling herself and then later on fast forward and Anita decided
Starting point is 00:40:56 maybe because a producer got into her ear let's talk about Vegas again and so Anita says to MJ you know I really felt like you instigated
Starting point is 00:41:04 this thing or whatever and Gigi's like thank you know I really felt like you instigated this thing whatever and Gigi's like thank you all I was saying in the nicest way possible that I just happened to be wearing your top five months ago and then Sonny chimed in and she's like that's a mean thing to say and Gigi was not about to have it and all of a sudden they were screaming and yelling at each other and next thing you know well As, Asa was great, I thought. And she actually got up and she was, you know, talking to her friend to calm her down,
Starting point is 00:41:29 Sunny, who was really upset because Gigi did go into attack mode. Sunny was calling her a mean girl, yes, but Gigi is a mean bitch. And to prove Sunny wrong that she was not a mean girl, she got up and started yelling about how she's about to get real and she's gonna bring it and
Starting point is 00:41:45 etc etc which is you know things that very lovely people always say and here is the best part of that entire episode then gg the next day is walking down the street with her sister who was like you are acting like a middle school psychopath you need therapy you're a crazy bitch and it sounds like you're in the wrong yeah and she's like i don't understand why anyone why no one can take my side it's because you're always in the wrong. Yeah. And she's like, I don't understand why no one can take my side. It's because you're always in the wrong, you stupid bitch. But the bigger part of the episode was that Reza went to see his dad in Great Neck, Long Island. And as I've been saying all along this podcast, that the Persians are in L.A. and they're in Long Island.
Starting point is 00:42:18 Can I just tell you, I have never been to Long Island in my life. I had no idea that that community existed there. Oh, it does. No idea. My grandmother lived in Great Neck for the longest time. I mean, that's where she lived for a huge amount of time. I have cousins that are in Manhattan, which is the next town over. I was in Great... I think they were... I don't know when they were
Starting point is 00:42:37 filming this. They were talking about Passover. Par for Passover. They said it was super warm outside. It looked like it was like a September thing. But Passover was April last year. Either way, I was in Great Neck last year for Passover. They said it was super warm outside. It looked like it was like a September thing. But Passover was April last year. Either way, I was in Great Neck last year for Passover. I could have been crossing paths. You could have made out with Reza. That place, Bruce's, I've been to Bruce's, okay?
Starting point is 00:42:54 Yeah, the Long Island, Persian as a whole, Reza is 100% right. So he went there to talk to his dad. They went to Cousin's home, which had a living room, sort of unlike anything else, a Persian carpet, Persian rug, as far as the eye can see.
Starting point is 00:43:08 It was the biggest plated chairs. It was the biggest plated chairs. And they were all sitting so far away from each other that they could literally have had like, they could have had
Starting point is 00:43:13 like a game of volleyball right there in the middle. You know, it was huge, the amount of expanse, the space that was going on in there. And so,
Starting point is 00:43:21 Reza wanted to talk to his dad about why his dad left, why don't he resolve all these issues. Well, the dad left. Why don't he resolve all these issues? Well, the dad left like 16 years ago because apparently he cheated on his wife with probably multiple women. And he felt so bad that he needed to get out of town so that he didn't make the situation worse. Not realizing that him leaving his children was really the biggest mistake of his life. But then the bigger problem was that he also wasn't communicative, because apparently he
Starting point is 00:43:47 has this crazy, overbearing Jewish mother who basically forbade him. Basically what happened is a huge amount of crazy details about this family came out of this episode that made you realize there was some real shit going on. It was very emotional, and Reza and his dad were crying, and I was moved. I thought it was actually a very moving episode I was crying my eyes out Reza's dad is Jewish and Reza's mom is Muslim
Starting point is 00:44:11 and when they got married and they had mixed babies and I'm using that with quotes right now you know like quotation marks the grandmother which is the father's mother who is a Jew was not having her grandchildren be not 100% Jewish. And therefore, when her son, Reza's father, left his family, she encouraged
Starting point is 00:44:35 that because she had, she wants nothing to do with any Muslims. And we saw, we saw, she was staring Reza down. And Reza said, he's like, look, I'm more Jewish than I am Muslim. You know, I've never been into a mosque. This woman was staring him down and like, she was staring Reza down. And Reza said, he's like, look, I'm more Jewish than I am Muslim. You know, I've never been into a mosque. This woman was staring him down and like... She was like, what was she eating? She was eating something and she was giving him... She was eating corn or something. It was weird.
Starting point is 00:44:52 She was like an old bitch troll. I mean, she was like a villain in a horror movie. Yeah, and you know, Reza, you know, we saw a very humble side of him. He was saying like, underneath all this stuff, he said, I'm a hot mess, except minus the hot and three times the mess, which was a great line. That's how I often feel. And there was also a lot of endearing stuff.
Starting point is 00:45:12 He said he would give up all the things that he'd accumulate just to have two parents in the same home that would love each other. It was so sweet. It was very vulnerable. Because then, you know what? You've got two loving parents and they turn on your ass. And then, they've got each other on each other's side you don't want that i had it it was horrible i always wanted my parents to be divorced and hate each other so i would get more stuff
Starting point is 00:45:34 well i mean i don't understand the middle eastern perspective but perhaps you do being that you're i know we should go to what we should go to our category expert here either way the point is this. It was actually a very moving episode. It made me, you know, I started to really like Reza last week and this week. A whole new level, right? Yeah, Reza and MJ, I do think that they're great. And in fact, I...
Starting point is 00:45:57 Spin-off. They should have a spin-off. They should. Did you see them driving around New York City in that BMW searching for twinks? I was dying. That was hilarious. That's, you know, that's... I hear, Ronnie, you have been one to do that as well or no? Category expert, what?
Starting point is 00:46:09 Been there, done that. Hey, I obviously did not watch this week's episode, but from the previews from last week, what I really liked was when he started crying with his dad. He started talking like a Muppet. You can't just not call me. You never called me. I thought that was so cute. He's like a muppet meets Zooey Deschanel meets Pee Wee Herman.
Starting point is 00:46:32 I think that's about right. He was. But also, since I didn't watch, I wanted to have something to add, so I just searched the news, the Google News for him, and I've been reading comments on the Daily Beast on some Shaz article they did
Starting point is 00:46:45 and someone named Jazz left a comment that said Reza works out at Gold's in Hollywood he sweats profusely on the equipment and doesn't wipe it off he does not use a towel his very hairy body exudes odor he is completely shaved wax for the show he is an ass at the gym and extremely chubby
Starting point is 00:47:01 well there you have it. Whoever that person is needs to come on our show. Signed, Gigi. Did they leave their name? Andy Cohen. Jazz. Their name is Jazz. Jazz. You need to be on our show.
Starting point is 00:47:17 We're going to reach out to MJ. So, actually, I got tweets from MJ and Reza today because I tweeted at them saying how much I like them. And they tweeted back. So I'm going to start tweeting at MJ. Come on over. Join the podcast. And refute these vicious rumors about your friend Reza being sweaty.
Starting point is 00:47:35 I mean, honestly, like, you know what else? Have them come on our live show. The other funny thing was Mike wasn't even on this episode. Yeah. And Sammy doesn't need to be there. Oh, Sammy was there for like one second to be like, hey, here on this episode. Yeah. And Sammy doesn't need to be there. Oh, Sammy was there for like one second to be like, hey, here's some earrings. Yeah, all we need is MJ and Reza and Asa
Starting point is 00:47:52 and Gigi for the fights. Yeah. So Mike and Sammy gots to go. Yeah, they gots to go. We only need four. If they're having money issues at Bravo, if it's too expensive, just cut out those two people.
Starting point is 00:48:04 Exactly. Maybe keep Anita, even though she's not a full cast member. Oh, she can be a friend of the housewives. expensive, just cut out those two people. Exactly. Maybe keep Anita, even though she's not a full cast member. Oh, she can be a friend of the housewives. Yeah, just because she's so pretty. She should always have pretty people around. Agreed. Prettier than Gigi. And sliders. Yeah. So, you know, we were going to maybe touch on
Starting point is 00:48:17 interior therapy, but we're coming towards the end. Any thoughts on interior therapy this week? Love it. I didn't watch it, but was it the guy, was it the gay guy from the Jay Leno show? It was Ross Matthews. It was him? He always had like a balloon slowly losing air.
Starting point is 00:48:33 It's kind of, his house was kind of, you know, either off Melrose or Beverly down like mid-Wilshire-y. Yeah. Totally my old hood. I thought Ross would have had some more money, to be honest with you, because the house was not impressive. Or more taste. Oh.
Starting point is 00:48:48 No, I'm not saying anything bad. Just like. No, it was tacky. I wouldn't think that he would be needing to be on the show, just to be on the show. Well, he and his partner, Sal, you know, whatever. It was fine. I still like it. I love Jenny.
Starting point is 00:49:01 I love Jeff. I don't care who they're talking to. I really, really like the show a lot, I have to say. I mean, the therapy angle is very thin, but I enjoy the makeup. I like the way he interacts with these people. And quite frankly, it was nice to have someone tell Ross that he comes off as fake. Like, I've been waiting maybe a decade to hear someone say that, and Jeff finally did it. Well, I guess Ross is not going to be our co-host now.
Starting point is 00:49:21 What was his response? He said... Did he cry? Well, his response? He said... Did he cry? Well, Ross kind of was shocked. Jeff said, I think you are... He said... You are dominating in this relationship.
Starting point is 00:49:32 Your design dominates. You are suffocating your partner, who has no say in this house. And you're a bit of a diva, and it's got to stop. Yeah, and you're a little fake. And Ross was taken aback. And then they had to have a whole kumbaya. And Jenny had to intervene. You know gay guys having dramas.
Starting point is 00:49:49 Yeah, especially after they've worked a jackhammer. And then, you know, it's all good. Yeah, exactly. You guys, does Jeff Lewis hate Bethany? Because on that Watch What Happens All Stars thing, he was like, oh, I'm just so proud of Bethany for not plugging herself once. She didn't promote herself even once.
Starting point is 00:50:04 And he got no laughs. So he once, and he got no laughs. So he repeated it and still got no laughs. Yeah. And he just seemed really nasty. I think he's a little gel. I think he's a little jelly. He's probably gel, but I almost kind of feel like it means that he actually likes her. Like, he knows he can, like, launch that bar because they're going to joke about it backstage or something.
Starting point is 00:50:20 I don't know. Part of me is, like, you don't fuck with Jeff, Tabitha, or Bethany. Yeah. You know, like those are like, and Kathy, like that's like the holy trinity. Yeah, and you know, Jeff who wasn't getting any laughs because he had a bunch of morons in the audience, that's why. That's true, I mean, you have to realize. Also because he was just vile, he was being vile. He wasn't being
Starting point is 00:50:38 funny, I don't think. Yeah, I don't think he was on his game. I don't think he was on his game. He can't handle the live situation. He needs to be edited and packaged into a nice, pretty program. Well, I think he was hoping, he wasn't on the live situation he needs to be edited and packaged into a nice pretty program well I think he was hoping he wasn't on top of his game I think he was thinking he would come out there and be hilarious and light up the crowd and he didn't
Starting point is 00:50:53 and that threw his timing off well look the whole thing was a dud so nobody had a chance in hell Bethany got some laughs she was kind of funny she's cute she works the jumpsuit sliding scale it was funny that she made fun of the fact that her marriage is going to shit on TV She was kind of funny. Well, man. She's cute. She works the jumpsuit. Sliding scale. Sliding scale. It was funny that she made fun of the fact that her marriage is going to shit on TV.
Starting point is 00:51:09 This whole thing truly reminded me of the NBC special I saw on YouTube where they gathered all these stars, like Bea Arthur and Nell Carter. R.I.P. And had them all sing the praises of NBC on their 25th anniversary. They sang Dreamgirls. They sang Dreamgirls, We Are a Family. They sang Dreamgirls. They sang Dreamgirls We Are a Family. We are Dreamgirls. It was amazing. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:51:30 I would kill to see Bea Arthur singing that song. Yeah, I would kill to see her sing anything. If only we could have her back for one moment. I was just going to say, you'll have to have Phaedra dig her up. If only. Okay, well, we've got to wrap this up. So, fun week of Bravo. We have a live show coming up at the ImprovOlympic on April 30th that everyone should come to.
Starting point is 00:51:50 And we'll have more details as they become apparent. But definitely, if you're in Los Angeles on April 30th, you definitely have to come by. It's going to be live, and we're going to have a lot of fun, and it'll be us. And, I mean, isn't that enough? I'm going to be drunk beyond drunk. That's the only way I'm going to have a lot of fun and it'll be us. Isn't that enough? I'm going to be drunk beyond drunk. That's the only way I'm going to deal with this. He is going to have a heroin needle in his arm shooting up live.
Starting point is 00:52:12 That's going to be so much fun. I hope we get a good guest for that. We'll have someone live there as our guest and we'll also be you streaming that night so everyone can listen live. It should be a really good time, you guys. If you're anywhere near Los Angeles, come out.
Starting point is 00:52:28 And in the meantime, you can follow us all on Twitter. Ronnie is at TVgasm. Matt is at LifeOnTheMList. And I'm at B-SideBlog. And of course, we have the show's Twitter, which is WhatCrapHands. So check us out, and thanks for listening, everyone. And subscribe
Starting point is 00:52:43 on iTunes. And listen on the and listen on the SciShow Network. So that's it. Okay, thanks, everyone. See you later. Thanks, bye. Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today.
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