Watch What Crappens - Top Chef: Like Shooting Dish in a Meryl

Episode Date: May 3, 2021

Padma gets her big chance to prove her acting chops at a Drive In Movie Challenge on Top Chef: Portland. Does have what it takes for Glitter 2 to get greenlit? Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens**We're doing a live show to celebrate the premiere of RHONY! May 6 at 6PM Pacific 9PM Eastern. Get tickets at https://onlocationlive/watchwhatcrappensOur Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or around and get this one. Happens, might there's so much that happens. Well, hello everybody, and welcome to Watch What Happens. The podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about on you, Bravo. I'm Ronnie, that's a man over there, have been.

Hi Ronnie, what's up? Nothing. Hi everybody, happy Monday. Here we are. Another Monday, another episode of top chef guy. Before we get started on top chef, we are doing a top 10 underrated real housewives of New York cast members, a little contest mostly between each other. We're picking our top 10 most underrated. Okay. And then every day you guys can pick yours between our, you know,

the ones we argue, pick which argument you like best and go to our Instagram stories and vote for who you agree with for that number. We've already done 10, 9, 8, 7. So that's it. Today is number six. Yeah, who's your number six, Ronnie? Who's your number six most underrated real housewife of New York? My number six is Elise Slone. Really? I choose Elise. I put a fairly high up on the list. She be Kelly, Jewel, Cindy, and Alex on my list.

I put her a little bit higher up on the list mostly because I just I think she could have been great if they gave her a chance or maybe if she stuck to her guns better. I'm not really sure but she really did try and show up and have a big fight with Ramona but Ramona left you know remember when she left that club where Leah was showing her new fashion line and or celebrating her new fashion line and she really tried like fashion line. And she really tried like she came for the big dogs. She failed. I will admit that she failed. She failed. Yes, big time. But then I really love watching her Instagram

lives where she's like, guess what? I was on a real housewives show. So now I'm going to have a theme and go for it. You know, like Dorenda has derobics and everyone's got their little thing that they're peddling from the show. And watching her try to figure out what her thing is has been really funny. One day she's like, hi, I'm Elise Sloan and I'm here to talk to you about cryptocurrencies.

What is a cryptocurrency? What is it? Well, here's what it is. And then she goes through this hole. I watched the whole thing. I mean, I was kind of into her. And I think she could have blossomed into a beautiful housewife flower. Had she not been, you know, nipped in the butt. Yeah. Man, poor Elise. Remember, she didn't get invited to O Mars that one time, like they all went to Omar's after Halloween. I agree. Her Instagrams are actually very funny.

She also does a lot of advice, unsolicited advice, like ladies. If you want to get a man, this is what you do. You put your hand close to your chin and you smile. And then if they respond, you say, that's so interesting. Every man loves a woman to tell him that he's interesting. And then you have it.

You just got at least slain. And also, didn't Elise wasn't at Elise herself who used her Instagram to tell the world that Ramona shot her pants? Or was that Leah? And her sister. But I thought that Elise definitely, Elise definitely said some shit on Instagram. Leah said it on her Instagram. Elise said it, Leah said it on her Instagram. She said it on Elise's Instagram. Yeah, I'm so happy that Elise is so high up on your list

because when I put Elise as number nine, and I was afraid that when I was giving my pitch for Elise, you were just rolling your eyes, like I can't believe Ben put Elise on this list, and lo and behold, not only do you have Elise on the list, you actually have Elise at a higher level. So. I sure do.

So who do you have for your number six, man? My number six most underrated real housewife of New York is Kristen Takeman. I think Kristen Takeman is actually very underrated. She was on a good trajectory, but then Bethany came along and Bethany's like, okay, okay, so there's a pretty blonde girl on here. Okay. No one she no one should live there Okay, put her in a box put her in a box because Kristen was on two seasons right she had two seasons and her first season I think was actually pretty good

She she was not afraid to get into fights She would win a lot which was I think really funny on the show Like when her awful husband for her to do like a Spartan race and then abandoned her, and she was just climbing walls and crying, and it was like, why? She forced them to do Geocaching on a trip to Montana, which of course led us to Geraldine Parsonsmith, GPS. She had Ramona through a glass in her face. She splashed Ramona. She had a great fight with Ramona about, like, cool, you get me wet, okay? Who are you?

Get me wet. I think that she really, she was not afraid to speak up, but Bethany just shot her down in her second season. There really was no way for her to go. I think the only way she could have really blossomed was if she was willing to talk about her husband's scandal and that she wasn't willing to do that. Her time was cut short, but I think that Kristen was better than people realize. Yeah. Okay, so everybody go to Instagram stories to vote for your favorite today. Who was yesterday, Ben? I had Kelly Benzum on yesterday. Who did

you have as your number seven? I had for my number seven was Heather Thompson. So yeah, for Friday. So yeah, everyone go vote on those. We are going to be revealing the top, the top slots at our live show on Thursday, that Thursday night, even though Roni Premier is tomorrow night, actually, the, the, our recap of it is going to be live on Thursday. It's going to be at 6 p.m. on the east, on the west coast, 9 p.m. on the east coast, and you can buy tickets for that at onlocationlive.com slash watch or crap ends.

So buy tickets to not only hear the recap, but also hear how this, this rank, this countdown turns out, we're gonna have some fun with it. Okay, so here we are with Topsef, the drive meets you with the drive in. Meet you with the drive in. Oh yeah. super sized episode so uh so the episode begins with I started to recap it in

time the voice so here's how the episode began um they are all giving fist bumps to Kiki who uh who went away and the music since they're in Portland they have like very very indy guitar strumming playing to say goodbye to Kiki and Nelson. Nelson is he's very, you know, he's sad because he almost went home and he says that Tom told Tom said that they have to be ready to be even more at their comfort zone than they already are. So, you know, they're feeling somber at the moment. Yeah. And Maria is especially sad. And she's like, I was honestly happy with my dish,

but it's not enough to get me at the top three. And I was like, you know what, I get that that sad for you, but you're also not in the bottom three ever. Yes. These people, like somebody just got sent home, and these people are all devastated. Now's not your time. Okay. Say. Yeah. And then she said something I think that scared all of us, where she said, like, I've just been in the middle, like, I'm doubting myself, am I too Mexican? Maybe I should tone down my flavors. And I was like, no, Maria, no, it's still too early. You know, you're not too Mexican. My heart is beating like a mariachi on the train. It's like, no, Maria, no, remember to Mexican. No.

So they go to see Padma for the next challenge. Like, hello, hello. And there's roses everywhere. And even a Ma, who's the guest judges weighing roses on his pants. I feel bad for a Ma, okay. A Ma wants to eat. He's an eater. He's not one of these skinny ass chefs to come in here. Like they're happy with some celery with some fancy ranch or yogurt ranch

Or whatever that girls making this guy will eat and he has to come on the roses challenge you fucking kidding. Oh Please welcome back your judge for this quick fire challenge Amara Santana who's just finished licking all of your plates welcome Amar I'm gonna say wow can't wait to eat whatever you come up with made with rose water a ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma- ma and put him in a bag and say, here's your bouquet, dummy. And Portland's smart, Gabe goes, fly pants, man. It's like shut up, Gabriel. Gabriel? Everything he says infuriates when he's such a jerk. Hate him and Padma goes, about half a million

rose bushes lying 20 miles of the streets here in the city. And it cuts to Gabriel nodding his nodding, like, yes, that is correct I live here yes I'm like no we don't need you to sign off on what Padma saying Gabriel okay just keep her head unnaughted and she's like speaking of mother's days right around the corner Amar take it away and he's like well I believe that you have a new mother in your house. And someone who says, who had a new baby boy? Amar. Oh, Amar.

Oh, yeah. Patent is like, oh, so I believe you have a new mother in your house. And he goes, yes, I have a baby boy. And that reminds me of my mom. Like, yeah. Everyone's really. Great correlation.

Everyone. Everyone's really stretching in this episode to be like, and that reminds me of my mom It's like you know what I'm gonna make a grilled fish because my mother What's your like grilled fish is that enough for a story? A movie with a fish called Wanda Do we have any mothers in the room and do we have any sous chefs? Okay sous chefs leave Mothers you can leave to do what the hell are you doing here?

So do we have any mothers Maria how old is your child and she's like Bruneus 12 going on 20. I'm gonna cry now save it Maria. It's not about you Okay We want you to create a Dish inspired by a mother figure in your lives. And the dish must incorporate roses because we want to torture a mar. Okay, enjoy. Mars, like, listen, guys, rose water. It can be overwhelming or rose water can be underwhelming.

It's like, what are the writers today of the show? Batman's like, when are you going to get immunity and also an advantage in the next challenge. Make your mommy's proud. I'm sure every mother of yours would love something made with rosewater. Like, would we all hate our mothers on this episode or what? My mom would be like, get this the fuck out of here. What are you trying to do? Kill me? You know, I just want to reiterate that just like my flower pants, rosewater can be both overpowering and underwhelming. Good luck everyone. So they rush for ingredients and of course, Portland's not. Is a total asshole pushing everybody out of the way.

Isn't it amazing that you can just tell what an asshole this guy is just by his face? I mean, oh yeah. Second we saw his face on our pre-judging bonus episode. We were both like this guy sucks. If you look like a pes dispenser, you're probably going to suck. And it's true. So Sarah is like, cooking with Rose is challenging. And everyone's cooking. And so now people are just talking, telling things.

And Byron is like, yeah, he says, my mother is the best woman in my life and she moves to the US without knowing anyone. And I just wasn't really paying attention. I thought this was sort of generic, like talk about your mom thing. I didn't realize this was actually the Byron is going to win the whole episode, like set up, right? Because whoever wins and whoever loses, they get stories about their past. So I had no idea. I really felt like I dropped the ball and not picking up on this. Oh yeah, I wasn't really even guessing, and I never pick up balls.

I just don't remember them. I hate balls. Yeah, so Avisar is saying that he bent. My Baron Rosewater in my restaurant. I mean, it makes me a little broth. I'm broth right now. And Marie is like, you know what? Every mom's trying to watch their weight.

So I'm gonna make a salad. Oh my God. Okay, maybe mothers are trying to watch their wait, but like it's a mother's day. You know, make them something not salad. Who does that? Again, my mother would tell me to fuck off if I ever gave her that. This is the first of many terrible creative associations on this episode. Because all these chefs do, they do not get it. I don't know what's going on in their heads, but they are very literal, uncreative thinkers is what we discovered.

And this is the first of many of them. Yeah, not create. It's like my mom always thinks she's fat, so I'm gonna make her a salad, rude. And then she's like, and I'm gonna make it with shrimp, even though I'm allergic to shrimp. I'm like, and guess who else would hate that your mother? That your her daughter who's allergic to shrimp is gonna make her something with shrimp. She'd be like, what you think killing yourself is gonna

make you feel better? I know. I know. Your mom, I made you something that reminds you of how easily I can die. Yeah. Yeah, Maria tells us that she was a hot dog vendor on the street and she's like, I want to prove to all the hot dog vendors out there that hot dog vendors can make it to. I was like, yes, that's a new, that's a new angle. I like it. It is a good angle, right?

So Dawn is busy making a donut and then Sarah's also gonna make a salad and she wants to make a dried rose vinaigrette, which are already, I'm just like, please just pack your knives and go with that idea. But she wants to use buttermilk and so there's no buttermilk. So she says, so I have an option to use either sour cream or yogurt.

And then we get Sarah's yogurt montage. She's like, well, we use yogurt. Don't act like this was not planned. You were gonna use yogurt from the beginning. And you came up with a story about how you were gonna go for buttermilk, but it was yogurt all along. I mean, know it. I mean, we've seen obsessed chefs on the show, right?

It's like, oh my God, she's making scallops again. Remember Jamie scallops? I mean, there's like things that people just make all the time, like the bacon guy, like his personality was making bacon. And we thought that was lame. Your personality is yogurt. I mean, that's the worst. That does the worst right far that I've ever seen on this show. Yeah. I mean, I, I love the idea of incorporating yogurt and all sorts of things. But on top chef, I, I do think that you should aspire above being known as the yogurt chef.

Yeah. I'm like, that's your thing. Yogurt yogurt. Yogurt. So Gabriel, the real yogurt person in all, the one who actually most resembles yogurt, the actual personality of yogurt, Gabriel. So he's like, well, I'm kind of grumpy about this challenge because I don't have a good relationship with my mom.

Why is that? Because she really, she raised a son with a terrible personality? Yeah, because you're a monster, baby. And he's like, my sister's have always been my supporters. And he goes, my sister just had my niece, and all she wanted while she was pregnant was raw fish. Be quiet.

I don't believe that for one second. You just wanted to do a fucking raw fish. You a motionless, a motionless, yogurt-y man. So then Maria is having Nelson taste her stuff and he doesn't taste enough rose water and so she goes to get some more from Gabe. What? Why do people do this, by the way? Why do people always go to the person

who has been on the bottom for several challenges and say, hey, has this taste to you? He's been on the bottom like every week. Why are you asking him for advice, Maria? So Chris is doing a porridge from Haiti. And he's like, you know, I'm so embarrassed. I was in the bottom of the Pan African challenge. You know, that was not cool.

So I've got to do better. And then Nelson is doing rice and beans, which is super Dominican, he says, and Cable uses white pedal and rose. That's what I wrote. I don't know who cable is. I can't ever get it. I don't know. Maybe Gabe. I don't know. Maybe show the crack on my iPad cable. Maybe show. So, do show does doing a rose cured, smoked turbot, and Sarah, oh, and then Sarah has having an issue. Her issue is that her pistachios too overpowering, which I don't think I've even heard of that being possible, but she's like, it's too overpowering,

so I'm gonna put extra rose water on the last minute. Why, why, I feel like a phrase that should never be uttered on top chef is, I'm going to put on extra rose water. Like, never. Does that extra rose water has never worked out in the history of anything? Oh, yeah. So Maria is still unhappy.

And she's like, oh, I don't know why I made shrimp, you know, it makes sense, but it's not Maria. And Pat and I saw the problem. What'd you say? So how do you solve a problem like that? What a flabrabby jibbit. Oh, what other way? A clown. I have happy tansels down, Shows.

Hands up, yogurt down, Sarah. Hands up, raw fish excuses down down Portland, Fnothead. Hands up. Nelson's terrible palette down. So let's see here. Chris is first and he brings Padma a rose and everyone laughs way too hard. And it's LaBouille. LaBouille.

To Cornmeal Porridge with porridge with candy pistachios. And then Byron brings up a crab salad with rose and pistachio agrodolce. And then there's no responses, really, which is why I'm going through those. And then Jamie makes mama's imperial rolls. And she's like, yeah, I did like a pork and shrimp and mushrooms and. Oh, great. R2D2 is back. And she's like, yeah, I did like a park and shrimp and mushrooms and oh great R2D2 is back Um, and she's like mama likes to kick my ass. That's for your mama

I don't even know what the sounds are stupid. Could you please just leave Have I ever build a fast machine? We'll try the Beatles favorite sound silence We'll try the Beatles favorite sound silence Well, pepper. I don't want to I don't want to know no and you but that's actually Simon and Garfunkel How about Simon and Garfunkel? How about Noman and no funkel Tom get out of my scene Well, I was talking to my dear friend, her, who just won an Oscar, and she says she could do the song better, so I don't give a fuck who Simon or Simon's Garfunkel friend is. As Amy Grant once said, aren't we all on the yellow submarine?

Okay, Sarah, come on up. So Sarah comes up and she's like well my mom wants to keep fit I don't blame her look how you turned out am I right everyone okay go on I'm doing Rose crumble and Rose pastos Rose and Rose yogurt I hate it. I hate it. Domet. Well, I usually use buttermilk and I'm just, you know, I'm not trying to use Yogurt every day of my life, but well, he has the yogurt.

So you're lying to my face, lie, or get out of my face. So then Avasar brings up a fish holidays and a spare guest and he goes, my mom always orders that. Really? Because I've never seen fish holidays in a spare guest and he goes, my mom always orders that. Really? Because I've never seen fish holidays in the restaurant. It's like she orders that everywhere. And they're like, wow, weird dish. But thanks, it's still good.

So what you're saying is your mom is boring and lackstreativity. Wow, happy Mother's Day. Is fish holidays the thing? I've never had it. Now, I've had Loubees where there's like fish with man it Like they have like a mayonnaise crust on top, which is surprisingly decent I I don't know if well, I mean, I don't know I mean you could get a salmon Benedict

Which would have holidays and fish. I'm not sure. I actually did not put a lot of thought into it I'm sorry, I've never heard of it, but I just want to put it out there. Sounds delicious, okay? Put some holiday on anything. I will eat that shit. Mm-hmm. So now Gabriel Portland douche comes up and he has a cured snapper and a high-biscus rose juice and pickles. And then Maria has her arugula salad with a rose vinaigrette and Deadly Shrimp. Nelson has Huérco and but the Rose is only in the beans. Yeah, and showed it to some Rose mochi balls and Don left peaches and creams so she did a

play on that. And Padme, because I like that the peaches are firm. It's like I was telling my good friend David Chang, who serves soggy peaches? Am I right? And he said, you should come out ugly delicious. I'm like more like beautiful delicious. Am I right? Am I right? You know, unlike soggy peaches, go! And so game is next and he does a turbo cured in rose water and smoked in rose buds. You know, he's got to get the smoke in there.

He's another one. He loves to smoke stuff. And he has a very clunky presentation. He puts all these giant petals around the rim of the plate. It was sort of like my first presentation, like the Fisher Price, my first presentation. He's big chunky rose buds, but had a lot of issues. Wow. And he says, I don't see my mom very much anymore, but she does. Last time I talked to her, she said she was craving ceviche. So, okay, just leave that story out. You know what I mean? It makes you look worse. I don't talk to that bitch, but I guess one thing I remember, she won a ceviche one time.

I actually kind of like it because it's a kind of one-up Gabriel's raw fish story, because Gabriel is like my sister was pregnant and she loves raw fish. And he's like, well, I'm just gay. I'm the cooler version of Gabriel. And my mom loves ceviche, not just raw fish. It's like, yes, one up. I actually don't like either the games, but I like that Gabe went up to Gabriel with a raw fish. Yeah, stop.

Well, like terrible, like we both hate our mother's story. Like both of the games hate their moms. So Pat was like, well, everybody, it's clear that you kind of don't speak to your mothers anymore and all think that they're fat. So there were a few dishes that seemed like they were cooked by orphans. I'll just say that. Does anyone here speak to their mother? All right. In the bottom, we have Maria, whose gistrip was dry and your sad with two heavily

dressed, sort of like Gail, when she comes out of a dress barn. I love the idea of your salad, stupid face, his name I didn't even write down, but no. And a mar, oh no, they're still talking to Maria. And a mar was like, yeah, and Sarah, there was way too much rows there, you know. And Nelson, you have beans, but they don't have enough rose flavor, which you're never going to hear anywhere in the real world. Hey, these beans don't have enough rose flavor. Can I? I'd like to send these back to the kitchen.

I know the dishes that were the most gay I like and by that I'm in matronly firing Chris and Gabe your dishes were the most mom like um and Chris wins with his uh corn his cornmeal thing and the crunch of pistachio was so well done and Chris is like wow it feels good to be on a winning streak. My mom would be proud if I spoke to her. And then the sentence that no one ever wants to hear. Chefs, please welcome Richard Blaze. It's like, hey, guys, it smells like grandma's purse out here. I'm ready for booze. That's a little that's funny.

The, hey, Ali, let me tell my good friend Ali Wong. He said it smells like a grandma's purse because we're using roses and so it smells, it's fragrant. Okay, I'll call you back. Yeah, it's fine. It's cool. Yeah. Perhaps we should go to dinner in a movie, Richard Blaze? A slice of Americana that has seen a research in the classic driving.

Portland Expo is going to hosturgence in the classic drive-in. Portland Expo is going to host a pop-up drive-in theater. It's up to you to feed 50 cars of Portland movie buffs who will be watching it all go down on the big screen. Spoiler alert, I do my best acting work since glitter. Unfortunately, I won't be able to join you guys because I'm gonna be at the Angelic a film center drive in which is also opening the same day. Just a little bit more prestigious. And Blaze is like, everything has to be eaten comfortably inside of a car.

Don't give us anything gal-like, messy and dripping. This isn't gal after a bad date night in the 7-Eleven, okay? This isn't like gal after she decides to run sprints through a car wash, okay? Nothing messy and dripping This isn't gal when one of those when one of those ice cream commercials comes on the TV, okay? This isn't gal receiving a new R comes out of the TV, okay? This isn't gal receiving a new R&G no fountain, okay? This isn't gal after seeing a

chocolate fountain at a wedding. All right. No messy and dripping. This isn't gal trying to rob a Starbucks, okay? Bumbling and wet and messy. So they all have to pick knives to choose their teams, and they all get their knives and path because just like this,

she goes, I'm excited by these teams. Pfft. There's nothing more thrilling than watching poor people battle things out. So Jamie's like, well, you know, if anyone is more stronger minded, Gabriel really rubs people's in the true spirit of cinema, the menu will be inspired by different genres ready to see what's playing

Fellini Jane Campion That's the extent of mine. That's I only watch Fellini and Jane Campion movies. I know you're expecting a third You don't get a third One player must make addition the order that you see them and it will be a head-to-head battle. So, um, showed us like, uh, why does the show have to be so complicated? Can we just make a play to food? That would be... I know. So, um, the, uh, the, the genres that they're going to be cooking in

are going to be comedy, drama, action, sci action sci-fi horror and romance in that order. So Chris gets to choose a team and he chooses the team that showed us on. And... Good luck, chefs. Let's see what the drive in when we show up in BMWs, while everyone else shows up when they're regular cars because it's a pandemic and they can't afford BMWs. Yeah, and then Portland smots with his team, of course, already bossing everybody around like the fucking sandwich guy.

I can't. You know, it's always so annoying. So he's standing there and he goes, all right guys, here's what we need. Finger foods. Thing on sticks. All right, stick things. Things you can eat easily. Stick, stick.

I want you to think of sticks. Yeah, or talking about. We can start with the one up your asks, or so. So now we start to see some of these horrific ideas. So we're on the green team first. And Byron is going to do comedy. He's like, oh, so I can do Korean style fried chicken. And that, you know, and Gabe goes, oh yeah, that can be comedy because you can call it KFC chicken,

but it's Korean fried chicken. Yeah, and Gabe, and they just kind of look at him and Gabe goes, it's hilarious. It's like what? I don't know what what comedy would be but I'm maybe like a banana peel or something Pined the face something a play on that but just like something that looks like something but it's actually something else I mean, I don't know like I'm candy or something. I don't know like but just KFC like Korean fried chicken just a play on the word KFC or the brand. Emory is like, I'm gonna do sausages. It's gonna be like hot dogs. I'm gonna make them all and make all the bread

because then they can dip it and gave us like, you're gonna make 65 sausages. Home made sausages and she's like, I can do it. And she says, yeah, because with the bread, it takes action to eat it, because she's doing action. So this is gonna represent action, the action of eating the food. I mean, technically, I think I believe that's

any food requires action to eat it, unless there's some eye-spices option. Yeah, yeah. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownauer, we will be your resident not-so-expert-experts.

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You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wendry app. So then Shota is going to do a cheese corn dog for horror, which at first we're like, okay, okay, yeah, and Sarah's doing romance and so she's going to do a milkshake. I like that. I thought that was a good idea for romance. That was cute. Why going on a date? Well, except I thought to me when she milkshake to me was actually exactly what she later said was like, oh, it's like going on a date and getting milkshakes, two straws and milkshake, I could sort of see the romance angle for that one.

Oh, okay, because I hear milkshake on a date and I think, oh, great, so you don't mind farting on me all night. You're a winner. Thanks. Sounds fun. I mean, I'm probably like, like, you know, you know, it's not like sexy romance. It's like innocent romance, like puppy love romance. You know, so then, um, and Snot is like, um, milkshakes. I

mean, you're gonna have to have all those containers like for ice cream. And she says, um, it's a milkshake. I really liked her shading him. I felt like this was a move in the right direction for her. Well, they all hate his ass, which I like. I love feeling validated, you know, because everyone else hates him too. So we called that one. So the Smots like, what's the dramatic food? I don't even know.

And then Avashar is super excited because he's going to do like, wait, wait, wait, sorry, before we get into Avashar, when Gabriel says, wait, wait, sorry, but we're again to Avashar. When Gabriel says, once a dramatic food, I don't even know, Chris goes, maybe the dramatic could be ribs. Oh, that's exactly what I think of, when I think of dramatic, I just think of ribs. Yeah, I mean, you said ribs right now,

and I flashed back to awakenings. Like this, I thought of Meryl like this. I thought of mental street. I thought a cream versus creamers. I was like crying. So I was going to do alien cold s'mores and Don is going to do a juxtaposition of popcorns for drama for drama. Juck's a position of popcorns for drama. Because I just want to be really me

Sir, what would you like a juxtaposition of popcorns, please? It was so shephy I'm gonna do a juxtaposition of popcorns One's gonna be really meaty and the other one's gonna be real more playful so as you can as you can tell It's it's kind of like the shinlers list of popcorn right now, just it's so dramatic. And then Gabe has romance and so he's gonna do a churro, which, you know, okay, okay, Gabe. And he's gonna fill it with chicken blivers,

which I just, how is that romance? Like did the churro get impregnatedated by somebody because that's what it's gonna be like It's gonna be like biting into a pregnant Churo This is this is someone who came up with this dessert before the season began and is like thinks he's gonna make a splash with it It has makes no sense. It's not romantic at all. I love chicken liver moose. I love Churros They don't belong together and then then especially with a strawberry combo. The entire thing is so ill advised and does not even mix with romance.

And that's what drove me nuts about this challenge is that no one seems to take the thematic element into consideration. They just decide to make shit and then somehow make it work. Actually, yeah. Nelson is actually, I think, the only one who really thought about it because he was like, I'm gonna make something that's gonna look like a UFO.

I mean, I'm gonna make a flower, I think he said. I was thought about it because he was like I'm gonna make it something that's gonna look like a UFO I'm gonna make I'm gonna make flowers. I think he said I was like I was happy with that actually of all people But true what it didn't and then they kept doing oh my god It looks it's just like a UFO you really did it. I was like it's around It's like a little rock crab cake looking thing. Yeah, it's a wow. Wow, Nelson. Wow. Really did it. So now over on the yellow team, Jamie wants to do some sort of white castle thing for comedy and Gabriel, Gabriel, the most humorless person on this entire cask is, well, it's gotta be funny. Okay. You laugh. It's something you got to laugh

about a lot in the kitchen when you're eating it. So I think you should do a chicken wing. Yeah, they're all just hating him and they're so uncomfortable because no one will just say, you're not my boss, fucker. You know, and I never get that on this show. Your chefs, how is nobody saying you're not the fucking boss of me shut the fuck up? Okay. No, don't do that to him.

Don't do that to him a few weeks ago when they were part of it. Yes. And you know what? She stood her ground and then they won because of it. Yeah. Don did. But like in a situation like this, how is nobody saying anything? You know, and Jamie looks just depressed. And she's like, well, I guess I just have to come up with something and they're like, well, chicken wings, you know, funny bones. You could just say funny bones. And she's like, well, I've already done chicken wings, you know, but the team wants me to do it, so I'll just make it easier on them to do it. And I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, How about a dipping action? That's an action, right? So I could do a cauliflower croquette.

I don't see how any three of those things are associated. Action movies, dipping, and cauliflower croquettes. What, I don't, I mean, I'm not a chef, but I think for action, I would probably do like big bold, crazy flavors. Something that just feels explosive. Some are on fire. Yeah. On fire.

Like, I guess you can't do fire if you're doing movie theater stuff. But still, something big spice. Some dessert on fire. Yeah, fire like I guess you can't do fire. We're doing movie theater stuff But still something big spice some dessert on fire or something He goes cauliflower croquette for ever in action movie Call of flower is like the least exciting vegetable of all time, okay? I think we can agree so Sarah is saying that guys really pulling get straws We all hate his guts. I hope he buys. And then, it's not head.

It's like, oh, yeah, cauliflower. It's a crowd pleaser, for sure. Yeah, nothing pleases a crowd than serving them something that looks like a tater tot. But it's just cauliflower. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The healthy version of a tater tot, delicious. Crowd pleaser.

So there they go. So it's called home, which is totally worrisome. Yes, because I really like her. And so her wife and her son are just sitting there staring at her and she's breaking down and they're just watching her. She's like, I've never doubted myself so much in my life. I mean, this is playing with my mind. And I came here to show female Mexican chefs are bad asses. And the sun goes, hey, look,, you know, you're been doing it.

And the sun goes, hey, look, if you lose, we still support you. Which is so cute. Is cute. And he knows, he knows he's like, if I say anything worse, I'm not going hot dogs again. So yeah, mom's homemade hot dogs. Yeah. Uh, so this inspires her to go back. I was like, bye, thank you. Like. It's like, bye, thank you. Like, um, okay, bye, love you. So now they're back in the kitchen.

I'm on the very. I know, right? So now they're back in the kitchen. And Don is still trying to kind of sell us on her juxtaposition of popcorn as a uh, for your consideration, best drama. She's, she tells us that the popcorn is going to be rich and spicy and sweet. And that's what drama is all about. No, no, that, that, that, that, that doesn't, it's not going to work like that. That's not, that's not, this is popcorn. Popcorn

is not drama. Yeah. I like what she said. A duel of popcorn is risky. Okay. So then, um, risky. Okay. So then Chris is, I'm a little messed up in my notes. Oh, she's going against Chris, right? Yeah, because he's doing drama. He's doing rib drama. Yeah, he's doing drama too. And he goes, yeah, I'm the drama king over here. She is who my queen will trump your king. Yeah, competitive nature. So, and then Gabriel is being, he's just man's playing. I don't even know who he's man's planning to. I think he tells Chris, he's like, oh, make sure you taste those shallots and none of them taste bitter.

He's like, he's telling you, oh, make sure your peppers aren't bitter, Jamie. Okay, make sure. It's like, boop boop boop boop. Thanks for your elimination causing advice, Jackass. So Sarah says, Gabriel really wants to be the leader. And if that's the role he wants to take, I'm happy to let him take it. But I'm going to make the dish that I want to make. Which I was I was happy at that

point, but it didn't really work out. So Gabe is saying how he's the underdog team because they have one less chef and they all have to come up to make the fifth dish together. And then I like Nelson, he's making an unidentified Dominican object, a UDO. So he says it's going to be like a little pupusa that he forms into that little disk we talked about and then avas stars burning marshmallows for his smores and Portland Snot is like, um, I mean Maria's making a hot dog bun and I'm making basically a side dish. Oh, I mean typically at the movies like it's unhealthy. So, you know, like what about something healthy, you know, I mean up until junior high, I was overweight. junior high, I was overweight. Don't force your junior high issues onto those of us who want to go to the movies and enjoy something unhealthy. Yeah, I want to hear about your fat issues while I'm about to order 9,000 calories worth of popcorn, sir. Okay. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So Tom comes in with Richard and he starts walking around and he goes up to Jamie. They

go up to Jamie and so Jamie, what do you work on? She's, well, I'm just gonna do the classic. It's like comedy, so why did the chicken cross the road? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Tom just goes, why? To his food. And he goes, now he's take on it is, well, he's like, well, so I've got these croquettes and there's like two sauces to choose from and so it's kind of like a choose your own adventure action, you know, whatever you want to do.

You can dip in one sauce or the other. Yeah. Oh, I love those choose your own adventure books where you have two paths that you can go down and then it ends Yeah, they really like avisars Tom is in love with avisars today like Tom loves a marshmallow apparently and then Avasar says he's like yeah, it's like well I'm actually from outer space so I mean I would come here and I would bring a smore to the humans

You know because humans are weird when you're from outer space and blaze is just like did he just say that? About being from outer space. This is insane He's so fucking annoying and then Avastar runs away to get something and Richard goes and he's off and he looks at the camera like total food network Media training moment, you know, and he's off. I'm Richard Blaze back to you Catcora Yeah, he really has I think once you've been to trained by food network You need to stay on food network because he's no longer for Bravo. He's not. He's not. He's not. He's not. Um, like the fact that he looked directly at the camera and had that that food network moment, it was, it's, he's, he's banned from Bravo. I think more. Also, Avashar's dessert, I just want to say has nothing to do with sci-fi. He has sold it and

that he created a spiel about being an alien. But at its core, he's saying, this is sci-fi. He has sold it and that he created a spiel about being an alien. But at its core, he's saying, this is sci-fi because it's an alien brought marshmallows to earth, which sort of doesn't make any sense. But at least he created some sort of narrative, I guess. Yeah, and he's using liquid nitrogen, and he learned it from Wiley, of course, as many than he says before him. And he's like, you know, I really hate when I look at these shops and they're just like, you know, throwing liquid nitrogen on things to look cool. So I'm just going to throw some liquid nitrogen on things to look cool. So, yeah, I love our

avatar. So now Maria and Richard says, well, this is impressive. There's no way I would make bread and make sausage. I'm Richard Blades, and I'll see you tomorrow on breads, sausages, and buns. She's like, well, you know what? I want to say I can walk the walk, and I can talk the talk Richard. Like, OK, the hot dog bun walk. The one was really challenging on this front, but OK, sure.

And Gabriel is making some kind of a fish tomato stewie kind of thing. Yeah, it is. Yeah. And he said he just watched the shining. So he's doing that. And Shota has decided he's going to make his corn dog a bloody cheese dog. He wants to make it black and then bleeding on the inside. And he's cracking it.

He's like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha which is always a bad sign. And they're running out of time, and they're trying to cook, and they're big green eggs, which are all red. And there's just some issues, and Nelson's knees are hurting from running around in the orchard. And then we get a very long lingering shot of Morton Salt, which must be a sponsor, because we're just staring at a salt box.

That was crazy. Yeah, that was a really long shot. I thought there was gonna be some drama later with with the salt like maybe he thought it was sugar I didn't know what was going on, but I was just staring at salt just staring at salt and And then I got really nervous because Maria only has two little convection ovens to make all those buns in so I Just I dated a really good job of Letting us think that Maria was going home

because everything was just looking terrible for her. Yeah, so the cars come in, it's the drive-through and everybody's honking. I would not go to a drive-through. If that, I guess that is what it's like for these right- I really have some concern. What was I watching?

Where there was some concern on TV at a drive-through and everybody would applaud by honking their horns. Kill me now, okay? No, I'm not ever doing that. I don't want to watch a movie. I don't want to watch a movie in my car. Like, should he audio? No. Oh, I used to go to the drive-in and and Sanita's with my friend and it's so fun. I love it. That's where I saw Snake Eyes with Nicholas Cage. I'll never forget it. What a night. So, Alanis Moore said is like in a car and she's like, I feel like we're keeping Portland weird with this whole drive-in thing. Ah, and then, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, our and Dale are just, they're in their car dancing and being wacky and then some girls are waving. And then we hear a padmug going, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the top

chef drive-in, sit back, relax, and try not to have gale eat all your food. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the top chef driving. Sit back, relax, and try not to have Gail eat all your food. Sorry, she kind of does that. Bless her heart. So Jamie is having people try her chicken wings again, a mistake, because you're asking this asshole who always gives everybody terrible advice to change their tongues. Every time Portland's not. And so she's like, well, you know, I normally cook these more

because they have to stay crunchy with the sauce, you know, and they're sitting around for a while. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't cook them more, don't cook them more. This is it. And she's like, no, but you know, they need to stay crunchy. He's like, no, no, don't do it, okay?

And you need less sauce. It needs a lot less sauce than that. I am the human incarnation of yogurt. Okay, I know what a good spicy Asian wing is supposed to taste like. This is so frustrating. It's so frustrating. And it's even more frustrating because you can't even blame him. Like she has to make the decision, you know,

so just to see your hand, all that power to yogurt. Yeah. I know. And especially because Kiki literally got kicked off last week because she undercooked her chicken wings. So why, I don't understand. I feel bad that Jamie succumbed to that pressure because that's ridiculous.

She should have just, she should have been like, this is, I know how to make this. This is the way it's supposed to be, but she fucking yogurt got in her ear. Portland's not in your ear forever. Okay, so let's see what happens next. A Mara Melissa, oh, they're, you know, of course talking about their cars,

because it's talk shafts, and so they gotta get those plugs in. So a Mara's like, of course, talking about their cars because it's talk shaft. And so they got to get those plugs in. So I'm more like Melissa did the massage button work. I can't find it. She's like, it's so easy. The button is right on the door. Thank God for these BMW X6s. So now it starts, it starts and we see Padma on the big screen and she goes to kick off

our cinematic extravaganza. Our first genre is and then she gets a pie in the face. Comedy and here legendary comic director Jan Campion. I told you I only watched two genres, champion and leaning. And badma is just cracking up at herself in every clip she does. It was that wonderful, amazing actress, Chino's Mariah Carey. Gal, you should try to break into acting sometimes. I know it's really hard, but I think you could do it. You'd be great in a thud just commercial in the background.

Listen, they're always looking for a new mop at Gail. Gail, I heard that they're rebooting different strokes and need a new maid in the background. Hey Gail, they're rebooting different strokes, but they're taking out the different and just having you sit there sucking on M&em the whole time and calling it strokes. Because that's what you look like when you're sucking on Eminem. Hey Gail, I don't know if you heard, but there was a casting notice for a reboot of Alph. Need I say any more? So Jamie and Byron head to head.

Hey Jamie's like, um, hi. Action. I'm sticky wings. Um, I'm doing chicken wings with a fish sauce glaze. I love rubber chickens. Like what? I know. And Byron, and Byron says he's doing Korean style go to Jank chicken. Enjoy. So, um, Richard Blaze, Hey, Jamie's making a joke about rubber chicken in comedy. And then she serves us limp rubber chicken. Okay, back to you, redrummin. And Melissa's like, well, it's a little difficult for the car, especially with this amazing massage

I'm getting right now. And Patten goes, I got the button sticky on the car. I feel like Gail every time she drives pretty much anywhere. So Tom is liking Byron's work because it's appropriate for the challenge. And Padma tells Blaze, yes this is what I wanted to be eating while I'm watching a movie. So then they do the votes and the votes are in for round one comedy. The first point goes to Byron and the green team. Congratulations, idiot. So now it's time for drama and Chris's, he's saying how his ribs are messy. He's like, but you know, having one rib and turning it off the bone shouldn't make too much of a mess, which is of course a bad sign. Really, you're holding a dead animal carcass in your finger and slurping the meat

off of its bones. How was that a mess, sir? Ribs are notoriously a very clean food to eat. So they don't serve paper towels with that dish for a method. Okay. Yeah. So then we see Padma up on screen again for drama. Just the food. You want the food. You can't hand it to the food. Get ready for some drama. I'm Padma Anakshmi. She really got that got you found this job. Can we just say that because she's terrible. And also, is she wearing a police uniform in this? Oh my, I think. I think in my, I didn't write this down,

but in my memory, she's dressed like a cop going, the food, you can't handle the food. I think maybe, I also remember she was in a uniform. I'm assuming it was maybe some sort of like homage to Jack Nicholson in the other like her army uniform or whatever. Yeah, okay, so Dawn's like well within Within drama there's sweetness and feistyness. So I'm doing a juxtaposition of popcorn Trama and Chris has her wrist of barbecue ribs with shallots and celery or something and dramatic children and his drama because dramatic children fight over the last rib and everyone

just looks at each other like wow is anybody gonna make an effort today? How many idiots have we brought on to this season? Spired by the dramatic children who fight over the left. Just say the dramatic flavor, like just say it's, I don't know, I don't know why no one did something that had like a giant swoop to, like how about a cotton candy, like a big giant savory cotton candy

that was norm as or something, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. So one of the guys, I don't know who it was, but a guy in the car goes, who eats a rib in a movie? I was like, thank you, America. Yeah, and Amara says that once you get through the topping of the sauce, the actual rib is very bland.

And then BJ who was on top chef Charleston apparently, I don't remember him at all. He's like, it's hard to eat this in a car. And Gail is not happy. She says, they had four hours, and Don only made us popcorn. And Blake says, it's elevated. Thank you, Bobby Flay.

What do you think? I'm having a psych. The popcorn is delicious. Hey, you can finish mind-bulled Gale. I really hate when you call me that. Sorry, but the only let's you people in the car. You're not sorry, you're just a victim of being close to me. And the winner is, Don's popcorn. All right, and Tom goes, yeah.

Chris, yeah, Chris is lucky. He has a immunity. So then Maria, it's Wendy, they're in puddles, And she's like, this is the most brutal day on top chef. And showed us like, yeah, we have no hope of winning this one. Okay. Maria, her sausage smells delicious. And she homemade her bread and Portland's not had made cauliflower taternish dot. So good like to us. Well, two points for the green team and still gal for the yellow team. I'm sorry, I meant zero for the yellow team. Okay, this one mission, this is one mission that won't be impossible. Get ready for action.

And then she cracks a whip, which I don't know which mission mission impossible that was but she left me She had me guessing a lot with her I think they had limited props. I think they just had to do the best with the next one's gonna be like her just with the office Xerox machine Look at this spaceship that could also Copy a file. Wow. I never knew spaceship's could color. Whoa. Sci-fi copy a file. Wow, I'd ever knew Spaceship could curly. Whoa, sci-fi. So Gabriel's like, I made cauliflower tots with

yogurt sauce and calabrian chili, ailey. I'm really like, I would like to present a sonorant dog with homemade buns. It's a typical dish in Mexico. After you get action, you got a hot dog. Get good. Wow. The hot dog usually is the action for me personally. She said that. Not me. Gail, I mean, that's pretty much written on your forehead, literally in catch up.

Hot dog is the action. The chaos in and story. Um, again, Maria, you get some action then you get a hot dog. You know, thematic ties doesn't mean you just find a way to work the word into a sentence. Okay. I mean, listen, if you're going to go with action, it's a phallic symbol inside of a bun's symbol. There's your action, you know, there it is. So then they tried the tater tots to get a Padma hates them. She's like, these are this cauliflower tots are gummy and salty. I mean, if they were a person, I would say there. Louis Anderson, if you were related to Gail. Got me in Salty also known as Gail and Neelie's new podcast. Oh, you know, the problem is there's just not enough

to start to bind it, you know, just not enough to keep it together. Sort of like, sort of like, you know, if you're trying to be a mixologist and you're trying to earn some money and just don't quite have enough to keep it together. Sort of like, if you're trying to be a mixologist and you're trying to earn some money and just don't quite have enough to keep your life together because you're just a mixologist. Yeah, you don't have anything binding you. Sort of like my son and an education.

Okay, they just don't mix. So, Omar, what do you think? And he's like, I don't need vegetables. So, you know, I thought the toss were pretty good, considering, and go goes, what are you a fourth grader? How did this guy wind up being a judge on top chap that he's saying they're saying I don't eat vegetables so I mean he did lick the plate and he did sort of carry around a bone for a while so so the winner of this round is Maria and Tom starts going, woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof By Tom, this is action not Benji.

So Yellow Team has zero points and Tom was like, this is, do we die for the Yellow Team? So next up is Nelson and Avashar, sci-fi. So Padma is watching herself as an alien on the screen and just... Ha ha ha! Oh, she's great! Who is that actress? How to recommend her to my dear friend, Lena With. Oh wait, it's me!

So hard to remember when you're in character. So this is Nelson's unidentified Dominican object versus Avishar's aliens of Earth. On this planet, my name is Danny. And I'm serving you Smores from space. Like, wow, and Gio goes, wow, he's a real nerd. In the best way. So Tom is obsessed with the Smores. Well, Abyssal really nailed that. You know a smore of matter space. You know what, they don't have fire. That's just amazing. Well, more

smores, please, more smores, please, more smores, please. Quiet Tom, I asked to sit with you not gal, okay? Tom, stop repeating Gail's wedding vows would you Here's where I'd like some more acid It's an it's an unidentified Dominican non-famous person So blaze loved Melcins he said it was one of the best of the day. And he was like, I mean, we're going hello. And Tom says, really? Because the the smart ice cream, I mean, that was just, I mean, that was the most appropriate thing we had all day. Are you nuts? Yeah, are you crazy? I mean, okay, show fans. Who here thinks that the toasted s'mores ice cream was possibly the best thing that's ever been served in the strip top chef?

Possibly Western civilization. Okay, hands up. Anyone? Does me? No. Tom was really going hard for those s'mores. He loved it. Yeah, that team wins with two thirds of the vote vote, which was not the smores, right?

What was that? Now, that was the unidentified non-smores ice cream that really should not have won over this absolutely amazing smores ice cream at all. I'll never forget. Yeah, it sounds like, really? Wow. Okay. Wow.

Okay. Alright, well, I guess people of Portland don't have the pulse that I thought they did. Okay, so here we go with horror. I know this is supposed to be a clip of me, but instead I found something truly scary. Gail trying to get out of her spanks to go pee during the break. Sorry Gail. trying to get out of her spanks to go pee during the break. Sorry Gail. Oh my goodness, my favorite horror movie is when Gail and Neely tried to recreate seven, but with a hello fresh box and just some carrots. What's in the box, Neely? What's in the box? my head out of this box. I'm starting to feel offended.

I'm sorry, I'm just imagining I'm assuming that was me. I'm stuck in a box like how much disrespect to why I have to take Oh, still gal, I'm trying to get this on in. Okay, so horror, so Shota and game. So game is, you know, doing a bunch of fish and some red sauce. Okay, and he's like trying to roll with it's scary because it's red and Padma goes, what does she say? She goes, don't spill your drinks, it's horror. Which they're kind of grasping at this point, right? Yeah, that was a strange. Don't spill your drinks, it's horror.

Okay, so. Yeah, everything is just kind of creatively falling apart in this episode. Yeah, so Shota, okay. So something goes, okay. I made what I'm calling a cheesy bloody dog because my favorite thing in this world is my dog and he's black and my greatest nightmare

is something happening to him, which is why you eat into the dog and then it bleeds. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if there was ever a gimme category him, which is why you eat into the dog and then it bleeds. I mean, if there was ever a gimme category, it's just like, I've made you something because it's bloody and reminds you of like a dead something or other mainstream. This is to remind you of what would theoretically happen if you decided to eat my favorite dog. Gale's horrified face. It was so good.

Pate Migos, this doesn't look appetizing to me. Okay, everyone, just pass your cone dogs down to Gale. She's got a bag. She'll take him home with it. Gale's like, I'm going to have nightmares. So then Gabe is doing like a funny voice. And he's like, I am game in your cup His oysters and scallops and don't you this grab and charge shrimp and that mean because I wish his dish was as good as his delivery Don't spell your drinks. It's hard. That's how you do it You can't handle the fruits so game you do it. You can't handle the fruits. So Gabe, there's shocks that it's not good, right? Everyone's like, wow, the sucks. And it's Gabe. He's pretty good. And so then

they showed us and Tom goes, what is this? And Pat and goes, I couldn't finish it. And Gale says, oh, I mean, okay. I mean, you know what this thing is? It's basically like one big gal joke wrapped up deep fried and covered with black set. Am I right, everyone? Oh, that's a real horse show. Yeah, it didn't even taste like cheese. So which was scarier?

Showed a one because his was the scarier. Which, that's crazy that showed us what? Like they almost all spit out showed us. Well, that just shows how bad the Gibbs rear V8, to be jailed. So then Sarah's like, Oh my God, give my liquid nitrogen. Oh my God, come on.

Get it thicker, Dave. Get it thicker. And then Padma comes on screen, plucking rose petals. They love me. They love Gail not. They love me. They love Gail not.

Finally, there's romance. Only green question is your place or my place? And when I think of romance, I think of milkshake with strawberry miso whip. It's like Sarah, no. And then Gabe says, you know, I wanted to give you salty, sweet, and a little bit of our guts because you love people with all your guts. Why can't these guys just nail the simplest concepts? Like it's love and you're talking about

I wanna give you guts, like this nothing. Literally makes any sense. Yeah, so the milkshake wins, which makes the teams tied. So the winning dish will decide the winning team. Yeah, by the way, Chero with Dolce de Lete is great. Chero with Dolce de Lete and strawberry winning team. Yeah, by the way, chero with Dolce, Dolce, Dolce is great.

Chero with Dolce, Dolce, Dolce and strawberry and chicken liver mousse. Not so grace. Summer's best to be fun. Oh, sorry, I was doing a different show. So they get to the studio room and Padma's dress like she's one of the guys in Greece. She's wearing like a leather jacket, but no top under. And she walks in and she goes, hello, and then gave the one who's possibly been accused of sexual misconduct in his restaurant, because wow.

She's like, we'd like to see everyone, except you stupid games. Stay here, grossy gross. Okay, everybody. And somebody goes, here comes the plot twist. It's like, oh, now you're gonna commit to this? You fuckers. Yeah, now you're suddenly gonna like create

some thematic through line here. So, the winning team is the team who had a favorite dish. And the winning dish of the day is you're all stupid and get out of our face. That was the worst challenge we ever had. Byron. Byron. Oh, so congrats Byron.

Do you secure a degree in team of win? I'm going to still keep this horrified angry face that looks like I might be crying at any moment because I'm so furious and I forgot why. So we're throwing in another twist. I still have very angry eyes right now. Don't ask me why it's my process. You don't get immunity, but you do get $10,000 just kidding. I wasn't mad at all

We call that acting may have seen it when I during my feature film series called here are genres Which was just premiered at a driving theater that you cooked at. Thank you. Thank you so much So Tom gives Avastar credit. He's like, you know, I, uh, the, the S'mores. I literally have a tongue boner, which is why I can't really talk properly right now thinking about you as more day worth the list. Yeah. Even though, uh, these idiots all voted for your dish, Byron. Well, I think we all know that the cool kids Love that's more. Whoa, more to my space love it. You did it so Blaze tells Don her popcorn was really good. He wanted a jumbo and Maria that work you put in was amazing You know, I would be too scared making bread making sausages and she's like well, you know I've never been here before so like, well, you know, I've never been here before.

So I just wanted feedback, you know, because I didn't go to school. So I need to, I need to hear feedback. And Tom's like, you don't come out of school making bread like that. And you don't come out of school, making sausage like that. You're here because you can cook. And she's like, oh, thank you.

I didn't say it was out of space, more. OK, so maybe relax a little bit. Also, Richard, when Richard says, when he was talking about the sausage and the bread, he also says when he goes, making your own sausage, making your own bread, I'm getting goose bumps. You're not going to goose bumps about making sausage and bread.

Shut up. OK, I can't deal with your made for TV critiques. The awkward like every other Top Chef guest judge. Yeah, dude. So then Adam was like, well, the rest of you tonight sucked by holes. Okay, so let's talk about that. Yellow team, one of you will be going home. The biggest problem today is that we didn't see a lot of imagination. And no, I'm not just talking about Gale's wardrobe. Gabriel, walk us through what the heck you were thinking with that horrible but-ho-licking dish. Go.

And he's saying, well, I made cauliflower tots. And, you know, it's like an action because you can dip them in everything. Oh an action like like this. Oh okay so dipping. Okay guess what Gabriel that's not action okay I speak as someone who wants audition for Lara Croft Tomb Raider. This is not action. Listen there's no little collar flowers sitting around saying I'm too old for this shit like Danny Glover and lethal weapon, okay? I don't know what the hell you're thinking about Let me try to think I just watched the Avengers. Let's see My Robert N.J. Union was in it. I'm scalloped Johansson Chris Hemsworth and I'm trying to remember

Was there a piece of cauliflower part of that ensemble? No, I don't think so The center public have to get on a cauliflower going 60 miles an hour and if it went any slower, she'd explode. I'm trying to remember, was there a collar flower that will get us up from our collective unconscious state because the machines had taken over? Oh, was that Keanu Reeves? Oh, Carla Flowers for Al-Janon. Now there's a drama. All right. Oh, my God.

Drama Portland. I heard this. Carla Flower was one day away from retiring before it went on that cop kiss. Oh, wait, no, that was Danny Galava. Um, so let's see. They hated him, you know, and hated him, you know. And Tom goes, you know what? You didn't swing for the fences and you didn't hit it, okay?

And he goes, overall, you guys know that you didn't do the best, right? You could have done better. I mean Chris, he goes, Chris, that rib, and Chris goes, yeah, well, if I had more time to, you know, inject flavor into it, I would have. And he goes, you're right, it was had more time to, you know, inject flavor into it, I would have. And he goes, you're right. It was by it. Okay.

That's it. Well, I'm sure if Gail had more time, she could have picked out something semi-appropriate to wear. But, you know what? That's life. You get the time that you have. Hmm. Chris, you're lucky.

Jamie, I liked your story. I laughed. But that wing. Wow. Who's so messy. It's like when Gail tries to make fart sounds You know holding tortillas under her armpits. It just doesn't work And she gets flower everywhere because guess what they have been cooked yet. It's tragic

so You know, I'm just used to getting such Gail before you decide to try your Timberines again, could you please just wait there? Thank you for trying to make my lame joke succeed because it brought me this a gal with Roddo under her armpits Listen, you're not the one who made two unsuccessful Jane Campion jokes, okay?

Sometimes these things just get away from us, you know, it's hard. They can't all just like Gadsby, Drup, they can't all be winners. We don't write this down, okay? They can't all be golden people. All right, I don't always think well off the top of my head. And if I have to come up with three artsy directors, sometimes I can only come up with two, okay? James Gendier. Well, I'm used to bright and bold and that just didn't happen and Gale's like, why would you make wings? And Jamie's like, well, we talked about funny bones. That's supposed to be the sound of an audience. I'm really losing it right now, guys. My bad. Buh-buh.

Oh. Sarah, I'd like to, I would go back to that drive-in to get that milkshake. Oh, no kidding, Gail. Wow, getting seconds on a milkshake. Why, you really blown our minds with that one. And Richard Blase goes, I don't even eat sugar. And I finish that shut up, Richard. Shut up. I don't like that.

Don't brag about how little sugar you eat. Congratulations. Congratulations. Yeah. Congratulations. You've lost 10 pounds, Richard. OK. Go teach the masses now. So then Nelson is next. And they're so impressed that he did a UFO cylinder.

And Padma did a trick question because she did the old Nelson. How did today go for you? Which normally is the question you ask someone to get them to talk about how proud they are of a dish before they say, well, it was terrible. But in this case, they actually liked it. Yeah, Richard is really impressed and Gell goes, I finally felt like I was eating Nelson's food again.

And then Shota, Shota Gus, yeah. I was so good. Your food is best when it's just sort of a mash of things and literally called unidentified. And Shota Gus. Yeah, I think I just focused too much on the theme and go goes, yeah, it was a textural issue. The center was pasty. Anyone want to take this? Richard, it's time for your redemption. You want to do it? No, okay.

All right, go ahead and speak then, male gal. And Tom's like, well, you embraced the challenge, but the inside was a horror show. Now that. So then they all start, then the chefs go back to the studio and they're talking. And it's clear that we were underwhelmed, you know, just sort of like really any film the blank experience with gal, right? So really any of these chefs can go home. Who should we murder? Okay.

Pat left it go now. Okay. So Gail says that Nelson. One, so he should be safe, right? And Sarah won as well. So she should be safe. And blaze is just like, yeah, Shota's completely shocked me.

And you know, it's bizarre. It's like texturally, it was bizarre and unsuccessful. So I was like, well, you know, at least he tried. I mean, Gabriel's Tater Tots. I mean, how was that action? But the heck? Yeah. I don't, I just don't understand.

I mean, I mean, I mean, how was it? That in one day, we could have something as magnificent, as Tocet, Marshmallow, S'mores, ice cream, and is it that in one day we could have something as magnificent as toasted marshmallow, s'mores ice cream, and then also have cauliflower. I just don't understand this life. And please, go, even a sauce is sucked, which I liked. And so Tom was like, yeah, uh, James chicken. I mean, that was just, that was bad and sloppy. It was just terrible. And And Geo goes, I mean, if it was great, we could get over the messy fingers. It just wasn't wasted calorie scale.

That's what it's called. Welcome to the concepts. So then the chefs come back in and then Tom is like, well, you know, today was a rough day for you guys, but you know what? Tomorrow's a new day for new service. You can start fresh, except for one of you Oh, wow

I'm feel bad. Yeah, make a feel even worse Please make the sound of an exit on a door and a grocery store and go Yes, please back out of here Yes, please back out of here. Please. I didn't tell you to make the sound the Gale has to make when she comes out of a dressing room so she doesn't pump into other people. And I'm not note. Yeah, Jamie's really cute. She's like, well, you know, I guess I got BAM BAM. Rejected BAM. I don't even know about Tinder, but you know, which way do you swipe?

Because I got swathed the other way. Bam bam. Bam bam. Bam bam. Bam bam. Bam bam. Bam bam. Bam bam.

Bam bam. Bam bam. Bam bam. Bam bam. Bam bam. Bam bam. Bam bam. Bam bam.

Bam bam. Bam bam. Bam bam. Bam bam. Bam bam. Bam bam. Bam bam. Drive in chicken wing flew the coop with the plot chicken Sorry, I used all my good chicken puns last week with stupid geeky. I Thought that was pretty good with the plot chicken I'm gonna go tell my dear friend Lena was about that one. Maybe I could write for the shy soon also The shy can be comes on and she's like, guys, the plot chickens. Did you mean to say hello to me in this scene?

Mm-hmm. Did Padma ask for more to do this year? I think she did. I think she was like, guys, I've been here for a really long time. My good friend, Lena Weithes, inspired me to do more. I'd love to do more than just

host and judge. Give me more lines or something. They're like, okay, Padma, we'll do a lot of like fun puns for you at the end to talk about the internet. So I'm in. You know what I'd also like to do Top Chef the film. All right, we'll do a movie night and let you play a bunch of different roles. I'm in. Also, I need something like, you know, something more like a bean bag chair if it was made out of a wagon of Oprah's chicken fat. Can I have that in my dressing room? Oh, Gail, you're here.

Okay, I'll sign the contract. I was also talking to my very good friend, Angela Merkel, and she says I have to incorporate the EU into the show more, which was easy because I just see Gail and go EW Alright everyone, well that brings us to the end of top chef We will be back tomorrow with guess what something else Yeah, and

We are only a few days away from that Roni recap So do not miss out because it's gonna be a super super fun time So go to our website watchocrapins. calm and follow the links there to get your tickets and we'll see you for that one Thursday night and bye-bye everybody Bye watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors Ain't no thing like Allison King Ashley so boni she don't take no baloney Dana C Dana-Doo she's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. Itchles.

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