Watch What Crappens - Top Chef: Mile High

Episode Date: December 9, 2017

We're turning 600, and to celebrate, we're throwing a potluck! Actually, we're just watching one on the "Top Chef: Colorado" premiere. Join us as we dissect every handlebar mustache, ; See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crapence would like to think it's premium sponsor! Can't have a burger without Megan Berg.

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Lizzie Drucker a fine mother fuck The heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, heavens, the heavens, heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens to other crapman's listeners about the shows as they air, come over's Patreon.com slash Watch What Crappens. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Brava. We love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from Besehablog.com and the Banscher Blender podcast. And joining me today on this wonderful Friday from the middle of the country. It's Ronnie Karum from Trash Talk TV.com and Roseprix Bachelor podcast. What's up Ronnie? It's Ronnie Carrom from TrashTalkTV.com and Rosepricks Bachelor Podcast. What's up, Ronnie? Whoa, hello! I'm in the middle of the country and I'm in the middle of Texas. Yeah, deep in the heart of, if you will. Yeah, I'm Texas Jeff today. Yeah. We are very excited because after a week of blatant self-promotion, the gates are open

and people are buying tickets to all our shows today, and the tickets are flying off the proverbial shelves. It's so exciting. Also, I'm in bed at my mom's house. I've been talking about getting a bed desk for months. I've been wanting to, but then I'm like, you know, go for great, mom, don't do it. So I'm testing it out today. I've been wanting to you, but then I'm like, you know, go for great, so mom, don't do it. So I'm testing it out today. I have to say it's quite lovely. Hand-held mic, blanket over my head. Planko.

Go over the head. You're in your own like, four. It's cold here. It's snowed yesterday. It doesn't snow in Austin. Yeah, that's crazy. I did see that on the news.

It's noted, well, okay. So Austin is covered in snow. LA's on fire. what else is new? Yeah, Ash is falling in both places. I guess God is just giving me a nice, you know, fall of Ash wherever I go. Yeah, exactly. So tickets are on sale for, let's see.

Let's see if we can go down, if I can do the list by memory. Boston, New York, Houston, Detroit, DC, and Chicago, DC, we don't know, we haven't checked in with all our venues yet, but one thing we do know is that DC is extremely close to selling out. It's like within 35 minutes, they were down to like maybe only a few VIPs and tickets left. So it may have sold out by now. Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Nobody knows.

But I think the Chicago VIP sold out in, what, 12 minutes? Is that what I read? Is that what I read? Yeah, those VIP tickets, but they go on. Because of that whole lap dance thing we do before, I think they really have to do it. Yeah, I think that really, it's like that adds a lot of,

you know, and we don't just do a lap dance. We sing on display, on display while we do it. Oh my god, did you hear that white trash rass? It was like, it's a matrayler park. Matrayler park rass is back. Well, today we are very excited because one of our favorite shows is back on the air. It's none other than Top Chef Colorado is back. And I was very excited, but my notes are a little scattered because basically here's what happened. Well, so we're recording in the morning, Ronnie's in Texas, and Ronnie has to go do family stuff and fun things. So we're recording in the morning, Ronnie's in Texas and Ronnie has to go do family stuff and fun things.

Um, so we're recording in the morning and then I had before this, before this podcast, I had a sash with, uh, Horace, the trainer and, um, and the thing is that last night, I love that name. Horace, the trainer. It's like a Pixar, it's like a Pixar trainer. He's so nice. He's so nice. If you ever leave a trainer. He has to be. Yes, true. He has to be. That's fine. I'm trying to do it. I do all like Hey, Paulo where she's like friends with all her makeup artists. Your friends with all your Horace's. Oh my goodness. You just have Horace names for everybody that you deal with. I want you to have a trainer named Horace, a haircutting guy named Horace names for everybody that you deal with. I want you to have a trainer named Horace, a haircutting guy named Horace. I just love the name Horace. My barber is named Carmen. She's a lesbian. Oh, yes, you can't call her Horace because

that's like war for sure. That works. That works. Carmen the barber. She Carmen's also very sweet, but what happens is she's so sweet. She calls me Poppy the entire time. She's like, oh don't you call me Papo? She's like, it Papo. And then the session will be going so nicely. And then usually about three quarters the way through, she starts talking to some crazy shit. Like she's like, yeah, man, the chemtrails in the air.

I mean, I don't know why they're spraying us. Like, what are they showing a dude with us? Oh my God, I wish I had hair because those are the conversations I needed in my life. Okay, you know, I read that shit. I read that. Everyday. Yeah, I'll be like, chemtrails girl. Well, don't you believe in cloud seating? I mean, it's helped the sky. Let's talk. That's what she goes. She goes, I know it's good for the weather. I know they do it for the weather, man, but I don't know what they're doing to our drinking water, man. Well, we've been drinking Florida for years anyway.

Okay, we're going to have very nice teeth in our stomach. So thanks, Donald Rums, Phil. Yeah. So, uh, Carmen is, you can come to the barber next time if you want just to hang out. Be careful what you say, Ben. You really should. She's so sweet. She's so sweet. But anyway, so last night during when I would normally be watching Top Chef because it premiered last night, I had to be great honor to join the masses and finally see Hamilton at the Pentagest Theatre here in Los Angeles. So I pretty much had to watch Top Chef after Hamilton

and it was very difficult. Yeah, because they don't even cook anything in Hamilton. Yeah. It's like a totally different mindset. And I read on Facebook that all the alerts started going off in the theater for Hamilton. Did you hear them? I actually, I'm not sure if I heard the Hamilton alerts,

but what I did here, so I heard someone's like, FaceTime go off and I was like, that's rude. You know that noise, that, you know, I was like, wait, is someone FaceTime me in Hamilton right now? Stop that, stop that right now. Well, you could do those lyrics really with any iPhone ringer like, I'm Alexander Hamilton, I'm Alexander Hamilton,

I'm Alexander Hamilton, I'm Alexander, my dad said, wait, hold on, I'm trying to remember the lyrics because I listened to the album and everyone's like, what's your favorite song? And I was like, all I can remember is I'm Alexander Hamilton. I'm Alexander Hamilton. I'm not throwing away my shot or whatever it's called. My friend Darren is like, hey, here's my review of Hamilton. What's your name again? Well, I really, I actually really enjoyed it. I thought it was really, really good, but that's not here to talk about Hamilton.

Like, wow, what a bombshell revelation, someone like Hamilton. I'm saying that I came home and I was so tired. It takes a lot out of you all that clapping and like, you know, American pride. So, yeah, it's a lot. So I came. America. America is like a great, you know, we're very lucky to live in America, but it's tiring girl. I like to think, you know, I like to think that Hamilton's really about

Gail Simmons, even though she's Canadian. The world. The sous vide turn upside down. I'm Gail Simmons pattern dress. I'm Gail Simmons pattern dress and when Gail Simmons came out and that Laura Ashley pattern dress, I started laughing so loud and my mom, my mom, my mom, a dad were here, you know, and my mom watched it with me. I'm like, my mom, you're a chef, you'll love it. And she's like, I hate that show because she's, I think I've said it on the show before,

but I watched way back in the first season with my mom. And she was like, um, you can't make nookie in 30 minutes. So the show's a lie and no one should watch it, you know? Yeah. So last night she was watching it with me for the first time since then and just listening to her comments going through the thing like she was so disgusted with some of the things people got away with and I was dying laughing. So my notes are insane too because I didn't want to pause over and over.

So I was just like, like typing, typing, typing. So I sent them to you if you need something to kind of follow along with. Okay, I mean, I have notes. I have notes just that like in the last like 20 minutes, I started to doze off. Oh, not because of top chef. It was just because it was like, at that point it was like one in the morning

and I just had, you know, you know, show tunes. They do that to you. Like you, I've had a night full of show tunes. A night full of building show tunes and... That's right showtunes and it is rough, it is rough. It's like, did you mean to Alexander Hamilton? I know, I feel like all my notes are gonna be like that. And then Gail and Padma got into a duel, I was just strange, and had my reach to the sky,

and Gail shot her. Gail. Graham Elliott tried to have a rap battle. Graham Elliott wrote 85 essays in two months. What? Well, this top chef is kind of giving a nod to Broadway. They hired a Hispanic Bruce Flaunch and Graham is kind of like a nod to Broadway. They hired a Hispanic Bruce Flaunch. And Graham is kind of like Bruce Flaunch too. So we've got a lot of hairspray moms in this.

Yeah. Graham season. Graham looks not unlike Carmen, my barber. I don't know which, I don't know if Carmen looks like Graham or Graham looks like Carmen, but I feel like he looks a little bit more like a Bush lesbian. Well, Carmen's amazing. Oh, Carmen on this show. what is her name, Carmen?

The Hispanic girl with the four-ditched shell glasses. I started to name it like, I don't like the man. You know what, I don't like the woman. This is a good reminder, I was gonna do this before. I'm actually gonna load up the top chef people because I can't remember their names in the beginning and there are too many of them.

Oh, I know. I was calling, I mean, I'm just like omnis What was the calling like? Like omniscries omniscries and then there's mustache Joe and fat Joe by the way fat Joe should be named Horus Doesn't he look like a Horus? Well, my he doesn't look like my Horus If you saw my Horus, he doesn't look like a personal trainer, but he does look like a horse from like a Norman Rockwell painting Yeah, I need to bring up my top chef bias because this is I don't matter. Oh, you know, no, no, no Fat Joe is the one who

Did like the the snapper right at one point? Yeah, I did the snap no, he's like Jonah Hill. Oh My god, he is Jonah Hill. I wrote that down. I said Jonah Hill. Oh And I love him. I really love fat Joe. Okay fat Jonah. So Jonah, I should go stop calling you fat But I'm not saying that in a mean way. It's just like a descriptive way. You know, I'm You know, okay, so so the episode begins Where the chefs all walk into a very poorly lit top chef kitchen I don't know what's going on with the sound stages in Denver, but the lighting was bonkers all episode long

Like what is happening over at magical elves? You guys have to like fix your like your lights and like plug them in properly or something because everything looks strange So we're trying to make it a horror movie, you know, and the music is like, Duh, Duh, Duh, Duh, Duh, Duh, Duh, Duh, Duh. What is so scary about Denver? Stop trying to make Colorado this terrifying place. It's a peaceful, wonderful place. Yeah. So, um, so they walk in and Padma's like, of course, standing on her own little rectangle

and she's like, welcome to Denver, Colorado and welcome to the 15th season of Top Chef. I'm Padma and yes, I can wear white. Look at me. I'm wearing an actual dress that covers almost everything, even my shoulders. Whoops, you can see my thong. Is that on purpose? I don't know. my thong. Is that on purpose? I don't know. Only Padma would wear a white dress that looks like so innocent and then her thong sticking through. Like you go bitch, I love her. Well, it also like it takes a certain, like it takes a certain amount of bravery to wear like an all white dress, I believe. And Padma can pull it off. I mean, there's very

few things that Padma can't pull off. So. And then pulls off. Yeah, also like Padma It's it is brave to wear white in a room full of people who actually love carbs Yeah, it's like this cast eats, you know what's top chef that Bruce the last guy can barely walk He's like I can't finish my food. I'm like you can barely walk to the fridge Yeah, Bruce Kalman you mean that guy Yeah, well, he's like Bruce, he's like the Italian Bruce. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he was very winded and he was just like picking up a wooden

spoon. He's like, he's about to help me. I know how he needs a jazzy. He needs a jazzy and one of those screens in front of him, like the people on Wally, because that's my dream too. So I'm there with you, Bruce. So basically Padma announces that for the chefs to get to know each other, they are going to be doing a potluck, potluck meal, and on top of that, it's going to be their quick fire challenge, big potluck. So this is exciting. I'm glad that Top Chef has moved away from that annoying thing where I was like, oh oh, we're gonna eliminate someone before the competition even begins I hate that gimmick and reality TV Yeah, I just hate when there's 50 people in the beginning

Yeah, I do love that they get all these famous chefs and make them cry right away I was telling my mom that I was like you have to watch because now there's like Since the James Beard award is given away for like hey, it's Wednesday. Let's give some I won the James Beard Wednesday award You know, they've got like a thousand awards yearly. I'm like now. They're like really famous accomplished chefs that cry She's like okay, I watch you know, I'm looking at the The cast right now online and this woman Jennifer Carol. I'm pretty sure she's not who's not on the show I'm pretty sure they have an accidental photo here in the top chef bio section.

Did you see this woman at all last night, Jennifer Carol? What'd she look like? What'd she look like? I don't think they had any blonde girls. No, I don't think she was there. Maybe I couldn't see her past that happy girl smile. I was like, you need to stop smiling, Carrie, the girl Carrie.

I'm like, if you smile one more time, they're going to kick you off for that. Tom hates smile. Wait a second. They say Kwame. Kwame wasn't there. Wait a second. Wait, that Jen. Oh, they have that playback where they all get to come back on.

You know what? Let me tell you something. Their website spoiling something. Jennifer Carly. You know who she is? She was one from Philadelphia. She was in that Philadelphia. She was on for two seasons. She was on that Philadelphia. She was she was on for two seasons

She's really really good and then she like flamed out Like her first season that she was on whenever it was she messed up and then she she came back and messed up so Kwame Oh shit, there's some twist that the website is I know Marcel Marcell is on And never so far know. Yeah. Oh my god. They're all back Those four are back Marcel Lee Ann Marcel looks great by the way He's hot. They showed him at the end of the episode last night But they showed it like it was gonna be last chance kitchen. I thought the person who lost had to go back

Oh, they may be part of last chance kitchen Or maybe they just like fell asleep during that part because I remember I thought the episode was lost had to go back. Oh, they may be part of last chance kitchen. Or maybe they just fell asleep during that part. Because I thought the episode was over and I was like, good, I can put my head back. And well, if something will wake you up, it's the guy who's like, I'm here for Amish Soul Food. I'll just wait a minute. Are you out of your mind?

He's my favorite. He's like, so basically, it's like hot dog. It's but add some Pakistani stuff and then make a taco out of them or like get some Mexican food and make it out of hot dogs and potatoes. I don't know what you're doing, but it's basically like the omesh food mixed with rum spring of food. Which I'm down for, you know, you only get rum spring of once a year where you get to like fuck gay people and do all sorts of crazy stuff before you decide whether or not you're going to be omniscient or like a shitty American.

So I just imagine mixing but I just imagine omniscient comfort food being something that like like ten omniscient men like find like a big thing of bread and they all get behind and they raise it up until it stands on its side. Yes. And then they wait for it to get really hard so it breaks your teeth and then they drink it with like a dot of like goat's milk. Yeah, I mean, what does Amish comfort feed? The whole point of being Amish is that you don't feel comfort. It better not involves zippers. So, so Bruce is like, he's running to the fridge and he's like, he's like, well I'm gonna check. I never thought my zipper joke would land so well with you.

Well why does it take me a paragraph and then you can do it with a zipper joke. He's son of a bitch. Well my first joke sort of failed. I was like trying to equate like omnis people cooking to barn raising. Really landed. So Bruce is like he goes to the kitchen and he's like I'm gonna check the proteins you know because I always know you gotta check the proteins first because I don't want to be stuck with something shitty like chicken wings and then sweet tania who's from Oakland she does brown sugar kitchen she's like I'm gonna make some wings. I was like, yes, Tonya, make those wings.

Shame Bruce and all the assistance he needs. Yeah, Bruce is kind of an asshole. And just like a general, as someone with weight issues, you know, people, if you have weight issues, that means you're most likely gonna be sweaty, especially in the kitchen. That's okay, people expect it. But don't put pomade in your hair. Yeah. It's sweaty, especially in the kitchen. That's okay, people expect it.

But don't put pomade in your hair. Yeah. It's like, give yourself a break. The guy just looks like a big greasy mess. Yeah. Now, they don't need hair that sticks up, Bruce. Okay, get a hat. Now, there's this guy Tyler, who's from Connecticut,

it's sort of Sim'sbury, very random. And at first, I was like, oh, this fucking asshole, because he starts bragging about his tattoos. He's like, yeah, he's like, most people got their tattoos because they became a chef, but I was a punk rocker first. I'm like, wait, way to be original on top chef. Oh, you were into punk rock.

Oh, did you also, were you homeless when you were 17? Were you saved by food? Did that happen to you also? So originally I was like, hmmm. And he's like, all these chefs have crispy veggie tattooed on them, but I have a deep fryer of oil on my back. I was like, fuck you. And then he's like, just kidding.

I was like, all right, you're cool. Yeah, I like him. He's like the bitter one. And he's really slam somebody later. He's really bitter and fat has a bald head, and I love him. I hope he wins. Yeah, he's like over all the bullshit.

Like, because later on, he's like, he's angry at like the farm to table movement. He's like, oh, it's from farm to table. It puts like, you're a croat today because it's all from a fucking farm. Yeah. It's like, ooh, since you guys man. He's like, it all starts at a fucking farm.

Like, where the hell else are you gonna get your lettuce? I like him. I was riding things down so fast. I was like, girl with a greasy face. What am I gonna do with that note, really really Asian guy with baseball cap nodding a lot. Okay. Now this two David Foo love Julie new Mar Whatever. This guy is obnoxious. His hell. What I like him. He's bugging me because he's so positive. Okay. He's really nice. of all so I'm not as happy about that. I feel like there's something very hot about him. No, I mean, he's cute, but his I just don't mind him because he's nodding yes all the time And then he's looking around the room and he's like, oh my god, that guy's famous. Oh my god. That guy's famous too

Oh my god, that guy's famous too. He's like a fanboy and then he's trying to kiss everybody's asked by helping them because he's so impressed with them Which I get it, but you know fake it because I don't want to see someone positive when nobody does You know, we just want to see you get crushed. I you have you've not only not convinced me you've made me like him more See because I made him the underdog He is because he helped other people and he he and he was literally burned for it later on. No, I am very pro too. I'm like, I'm too dated to, I'm pro. He's got like amazing lips too, by the way.

Do you know what I'm saying? You guys got some big old lips. Yeah. Now this girl, Adrian, or Adrian, I don't know. I don't know if she's annoying to me, because her name is Adrian, like from Real Housewives, but she's got that she's got some moxie which I like but she's also kind of smoddy and she's like, well, I'm the first female chef at Le Bernadin and I'm going to be the first black female top chef. I was like, mm, because then she makes like sweet potatoes with sweet pork and

sweet stuff. Yeah. And then sweet sweet. Yeah. Yeah. No. Yeah. She probably I thought I think during our pre we did a preview episode of all these characters characters people chefs I forgot and I think we like I think we liked her I thought we felt like oh yeah, she could be one to watch But she really did not do a good job last night We also had in in in the middle of this like potluck There is this other Joe, he's from LA, or he works in LA of course, and he has a handlebar mustache, of course, of course.

It's just like, oh, but you know, I feel like the tides are changing on Topshop because we had a full sequence of everyone making fun of his mustache. Including the kinetic guy was like, he looks like a Brooklyn bartender, which I love that he says that as an insult. Like I love Brooklyn bartender is now,

it's been elevated to insult, you know? I like that Amish Chris is like, he looks like one of those dudes that ties people to the train tracks. You know, because in previous top chefs, these people would be like, that's pretty rad. What a cool mustache. I wanna grow a mustache.

You know, I may be too busy tending to my newly minted pork tattoo. Yeah. That guy's like got terrible timing. He's got that horrible mustache, which I mean, even at like that place in LA, what's that place? It's right down the street from where we had Thanksgiving at your friend, Jessica's house. Oh, that mean, I should went to get French. Yeah, even the guys at the Pikey are stopping the handlebar mustache and they love that there. Like they all have that. There's a guy in my gym who has a handlebar mustache and it pisses me off because he like, you know, he's at the gym. He's in like gym shorts and like a tank top and he actually has like muscles and stuff.

And I'm just like, well, I don't understand, like for some reason, the clash of a handlebar mustache and like gym shorts, it does not work for me. I'm like at least take the handlebar out when you're going to gym. It's just like I should have affected look for gym shorts. It's also like, we live in America, like you can say what you want about our country

but we're a very privileged country and we're lucky to live here. And I don't like people just looking that thirsty. Like there's free water everywhere. You know, go to the water fountain. You know, there's like people who really meet it. Yeah, like please don't like walk around as if you take a penny far thing to work, okay? Like enough with, enough with the handle on mustache.

Okay, we know you're in looking like don't come to the gym looking like you belong on a Swinson's billboard. Okay, fucker. Don't come to the gym looking like you were trying to sell tickets to the circus. Okay. Old time in circus. So we've also got the girl from that 70 show and now orange is the new black. Oh, yeah, she's in it. And she's a little super insecure. Yeah. Or a prop on a K a Melissa perfect.

Perfect. She, um, she had panic attacks to prep for the show. She said, I think it's Scientology's making her crazy. She's like, is this the right thing to do? Where is it? I don't know. She's like freaking out. And I thought, God, this girl thing to do? Or is it, I don't know. She was like freaking out. And I thought, God, this girl's been on TV

for a long time and still hasn't figured out how to do her eyebrows. Like, come on. I'll help. Yeah, she seemed like a disaster right from the get-go. Also, obviously, oh my God, everyone. I didn't even have time to do that. It was just so quick, it was so quick,

it was so violent, but it's over now. We can all just like hold hands. I want to say also that like something else that was going on that's been going on this episode of Top Chef, they decided to add a little like annoying sizzle. So like we saw footage of two shaving kernels off of a corn cob and then they're like this putting slow motion and it was like kernels flies and slow mo off the corn cob it's like a matrix it's like I was expecting two to like dodge it you know like like underneath it and like an agent to come out of like Gail Simmons or something. Keanu Reeves is like hanging upside down. And the top. Yeah, it was kind of weird.

The handlebar guy, he's like, I'm making pasta. And then they showed him jiggling around his pasta and slow motion. So yeah. It's like no key slummo. Keanu Reeves is like, he's like, I'm gonna play. Whoa. He's like the Matrix.

Prs. Matrix, Fettuccini. Prs. This is you know what I mean? And those like, it's like five minutes left, you start seeing those like robot things coming towards the quick fire chicken kitchen. Like going too deep in my Matrix references.

I think I have. Yeah, I'm like, wait a minute, don't get to part three yet, because I do not want to watch them all run around to like terrible poor people close. Oh, God. I can't do part three. Okay, just stay in part one. Stay in part one. Yeah, yeah, stay in part one.

So I have to also say in the opening, I feel like Padma really is just fucking with Gail at all times, okay? Because Padma's like, hello, welcome to another season of Top Chef. And she's wearing a Gail dress. She's wearing this white dress with like farm shoulders, like puffy shoulders. And it's got like what bunnies or something? Like glue and little,

I didn't even notice. It's like some country dress. It's trust. It's like some kind of country dress like Gail. But she got it fitted. You know, it's like here's how to do a horrible pattern, Gail. Did you mean to get upstaged every single episode by my one choice outfit?

Did you mean to not have little animals on your dress to Gail? It's flowers on white L O L farm pad my I wrote. Okay. Well, Gail went to T.J. Maxx to get her dress. Bless her heart. She didn't realize there was a bloom. He's down the street. So the Amish soul guy is telling us what pop luck means to him. And he's like, I'm going to make dumplings with only 45 minutes.

He's like dumplings, bro. He tells somebody. And he's like, I think of Amish comfort, like chewing tobacco, Motley crew, Philly grit, Rump Springer grits Brock. Yeah. At that point, I was like, did he say Amish? Because I don't know what part of Motley crew is Amish. Yeah. I don't either. I think he's Rump Springer. He's back in the world. I think he's,

yeah, I think he's, I think he's, he's less omniscient, more scranton. Um, and then they said, then they showed Tanya who you talked about who owns a soul food restaurant and is making wings. And she was wearing a waffle t-shirt. So of course, I automatically love her. Yeah. But she kind of worried me because she said, ain't nothing but a chicken wing, which I don't know that I can get behind that. And also she said, I'm gonna make these with chip outlay. Oh yeah, she's such a cool-ish, really.

Yeah, it was. But I hear her restaurant in Oakland is supposed to be amazing and I was gonna try to go there when I was in Oakland like two months ago, but I heard the lines are so, so long. I mean, it's kind of surprising she's on top, Chef. I feel like, like I actually I hope she wins. I hope like that Tanya with her like awesome breakfast place in Oakland destroys handlebar. That's what I want me to and I like that she has big earrings that go back and forth while she talks like you know I love that in a person because they show a lot about a personality.

Yeah exactly a lot of the big balls guys. I came to represent. Okay. I've got four James Beard award nominations just this week alone. I'm going to make potato salad West Coast style. What does that mean? I don't know. I don't know what West Coast potato style. I think potato salad is just potato salad unless you're doing Korean style. Yeah, it's just even Koreans. I mean, they leave it out on the table, so it's there when you get to the damn restaurant, which I don't know that I trust. But it's still just potatoes and mayonnaise. But it has like apples on it.

Oh, it does? Yeah, it's really good. I actually love Korean potato salad. I never eat it because I'm worried that flies pooped on it, you know, because it's just sitting out there. I just love that that's where you draw your line. I know. I don't have many. The ones I have are very strong.

You just, I don't, I still, I'm still baffled by the fact that you don't like Korean food. Like I think Korean food is just truly amazing. Like a gift from the gods. It's, I think I was traumatized because my friend took me to one in the middle of the night and it was like fish soup but they were whole fish and the eyes were still in them. Like it looked like someone won some gold fish at like a state fair and just cooked them. And there was like fish soup, but they were whole fish and the eyes were still in them. Like, it looked like someone won some gold fish

at like a state fair and just cooked them. And there was like bones in it. I don't know. I wouldn't even think that that would bother you. I don't feel like you're the type that would get turned off by fish heads. Yeah, I'm one of those people that needs everything in front of me needs to actually be edible.

I can't be like accidentally, I can't like pick an eyeball out. You know, I wanna be able to just shove everything in my mouth. I don't need bones. Oh yeah, bones. I feel like it's just very dangerous Korean food, it's dangerous. No, no, it's delicious.

It's actually extremely, extremely delicious. But I bones are annoying and fish bones are uniquely terrible. They're so annoying. I actually get mad at fish bones. Yeah, fish eyes, like gross. I don't watch you looking at me get mad at fish bones. Yeah, fish eyes, like gross. I don't want you looking at me while I'm eating you. Yeah, fish eyes don't bother me.

They really don't. Oh, they really don't. Shrimp heads, you know what? I love sucking the juice out of shrimp head. I love doing that. They're delicious. Good. Oh, let me see.

I'm still louis-y-jee with it. No, I'm sorry. Because I was like, I just got past Padma's opening dress. What the hell am I gonna do? It's like, we're like 30 minutes in. I got scared. Well, they're all, everyone's cooking.

So here come the judges. The judges walk in, you know, and, you know, they've set up the tables, like it's like a big T-shape, like the judges are like the, the T-part of it, and then everyone's at the long part. And, and they're all getting ready and the Connecticut guy is mad because he fucked up his Treso and it's like crumbling and it's like who would have thought the guy from Connecticut couldn't would mess up

his Treso who would have thought yeah who to thought and who to thought Gail would have been in a pattern also I love that Gail starts so seriously. She's like, hello, chefs. Shut up, Gail. You're on top, chef. Calm down. Did you see the commercial for Tabitha's new show? I saw a trailer for it. Yeah. I'm very excited for that. When does that start? There's a flaming egg I saw in his hands, and then she goes, ye, keep giving up on yourself. My mom's like, we're winding it. I'm gonna hear it again. Ye have given up on yourself. And then she goes ye are being a complete whoosh. My mom's like, Hey, that's what I say to you. Very touching time. Why do I like that? Your mom found a kindred

spirit in Tabitha. Yeah, she did. She's like, her face is weird. But I like that she's just yelling at people. I'm like, that's what she does. Welcome to Bravo. Yeah. So I believe at this point, the pot luck then gets underway. Does it not? Yeah, I fast forwarded a lot in my notes

so that I could get past Gales patterns and stuff. I'm glad you did. Why would you fast forward over the tasting part? That's the best part. No, no, I mean, in my notes and my notes. Oh. I'm scrolling past you fast forward over the tasting part? That's the best. No, no I mean in my notes and my notes I'm scrolling past a lot of nonsense that I've written down. Oh, maybe I should look at your notes I'm curious to see what you wrote down Well the girl the girl from oranges new black. I mean poor thing, but you're on top chef, okay? You can't say things like

Potatoes. I don't know how to make potatoes. Like I don't even like potatoes. I mean, we have Mormon potato salad so I could say that, but it's more like Mormon funeral potatoes when that sounds so sad. And then she's like, I work at a Crudeau bar, which means I can make really good fish. I'm like, that's raw fish. I'm sorry, I'm just trying to,

because I'm trying to read your notes. And I think they're hilarious. Like this one? I'm sorry, I'm just trying to because I'm trying to read your notes and I think they're hilarious. Like this one, Asian looking around, dumplings in 25, heft Joe, to impress with his better. My dish is basically chop salad. Yeah, he's like trying to impress and he can't even cook because he's just staring around at what everyone else is doing because he's like, oh my god, they're famous. And then he ends up with like a chop salad. I liked that actually that he chose to make a salad because when he was like, I'm going to make a salad. I thought that's actually, I think that's a good move out of edit, pot

luck where everyone's going to be serving up pork belly, pork belly, pork belly. Like it would be nice to have a salad. Yeah. Well, I scrolled down to the eating where it says eating and caps. Okay. So Rojello, love this guy and we called it. And it wasn't, it's not a racist thing like, oh, there's a Hispanic guy, there's a Mexican guy. He must have been a line cook. But when he told his story, you know, they immigrated,

he worked in restaurants and he worked his way up from the very bottom all the way to the top. You go, bitch. You go, Rojello, I'm behind you, babe. He's cute. Rojello is cute. we like rojelio this korea's uh chorizo stew with candy beans yeah he's learned how to say things so white people can eat it he's like is chorizo stew but with

candy beans it's like oh he can't eat something okay it's not just chorizo yeah so um then Madness like that was delicious homey. I meant delicious and homey. Homey. Is it racist that I call for a hell of yo homey? My dear friend, Gail Simmons, he thinks that the French laundry is where she has to take her shirt out.

She always gets so many stains. Isn't she just adorable? How about a French boutique? Look at Gail, she has some of that Teresa right on her lapel, she doesn't even see it. No. Like guys like, yeah it all starts on a fucking farm and she's like, yes, just like everything Gail wears. Gail loves farms, she may not spill over and

pet cows three different times in the way over here. That's why we're so late. Apologies everyone. One of those cows is Gail's prom date. Am I right Gail? Oh Gail. Gail's like, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. So the Amish guy makes rustic dumplings, which I don't know what rustic, amish dumplings. I don't know. Iron dumplings inherently rustic. I mean, it's like balls of flour cooked in chicken stocks. Yeah, but like, do they have like little buckles on them? Is that what made them amish? It's like there's actually rust.

There's actually rust. They're rusty dumplings. I'm sorry, I forgot to mention the rest they we oxidized some metal. He's like, if you're not pooping when you bleed tomorrow, I did not make these rustically omniscient efficacy. So then, then we have a Bruce moment and I'm like, Oh, I got a full disclosure. I a Bruce moment and I'm like, well, I got a full disclosure.

I actually know Bruce and Pam is like, I know Bruce too. And Gail is like, I know Bruce and everyone's like, I know Bruce. And he's like, yeah, I'm famous. Please don't make me walk, please. So, hey, if you're famous, why don't you make a skirt steak, sir? Famous people can make skirt steaks, Raleigh. Badmouth's like wow a skirt steak Still more appetizing than the one gale's wearing my right gale

By the way just a public announcement if there's any leftovers just send them to Gail. She just you know, she just loves them She's like Gail he appreciates your compliment, but you're chewing on cardboard right now I mean, you know Gail give her a piece of rubber and she'll be happy So stupid. So, um, um, so next up is, uh, is, uh, you said Asian Joe? Asian Joe. Oh, you two. Why did I write Asian Joe? You know, I know there's so many, there's so many Joe's going on. Yeah, I don't know. Back to my notes. I'm getting confused with your notes. I'm saying I'm slow to slow. You, I will follow you, but I have to. I'm going back to my notes. I'm getting confused with your notes. I'm saying I'm slow to slow. I will follow you, but I have to, I'm going back to those.

Yeah, I just skipped those. I didn't understand the Asian joke part, so then I skipped over to Tanya. She runs Brown Sugar. We already talked about that. That she made chili honey glazed wings. Mm-hmm. And I thought, oh, this is weirdo.

I think this was a mustache show. He's like, it's really cool to see someone so old. Yes, I was like, shut up, handlebar. Don't shame someone old. You're the one who's actually trying to look like you're from 1910. So funny and so rude. That guy's a little shithead. He is a little shithead. Little handball mustache must have shit head making good nookie in 45 minutes. So then we meet brother luck. Yeah, come on. Your name is not brother. That's actually his name.

And he just opened up a restaurant called Four by brother luck and he opened it up like two days ago, which is crazy. I don't even know how that restaurant will still be in business. Well, his story is weird because he opened a hotel restaurant and somebody called him a hotel chef and so he got so offended that he opened his own restaurant in 45 days and then left. So I already asked him because who does that? First of all, you don't open a restaurant in 45 days. It's almost impossible.

And second of all, no one who really gives a shit would leave. You wait until the next season. I also really don't like when people put like their names in the in the restaurant like In terms of like for by brother luck. I don't like that You know, it's one thing if you call it luck or brother even if you call it brother luck I don't mind a restaurant is named after you But like if you give it another name, but you you can't help but put your name on to it on top of that like, you know Lampshade by Brother Lach. Yeah Well, like you're making up your own name too. So it's like two made-up things

It's like you just live in this fairy world, you know No one's name is brother Luck. Okay. It's like a detective series With a with a monk So You know what I'm saying? I'm brother to that. You know, remember that restaurant that was over by you 9021 Pho? Yeah, they could never rhyme.

I felt so bad for them. Yeah, well I went in there once because the chef is like Kimitang. And I don't, I think it was just called 9021 Pho. But when you go in there, everything was like, Kimi-tang, Kimi-tang, Kimi-tang, there were giant photos of her cooking and like, tasting broth and like looking at noodles.

It was all like the Kimi-tang show. And I was like, this is such a narcissistic piece of shit restaurant right now. And the, and the fur wasn't even good. I was like, I'm glad you closed. Yeah, I don't think people who know how to make fur pose while they make it. It's just weird. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It was so over the top as if like we should all be bowing down at the altar of Kimi Tang.

And she's no to that's for sure. She's no to and to made the salad and everyone loved the salad. And I was like, yeah, too, a two, two, yeah, but oh, wait, wait, wait, this is okay. My mom had a fucking fit at this part, please elaborate, because he's like, I'm going to make a selfie cone and my mom's like, you cannot make selfie cone in 45 minutes. You the fuck is this guy? And I was like, well, maybe it'll be different because selfie cone is basically, you take like a brisket or pork or whatever, and you cook it overnight, you know, you braise it overnight

so it's falling apart. So you just pull it apart and it's like these strings of meat and you chill it and then you, you know, you make your own chili or whatever. And my mom makes it, you know, she learned it from La Chicanas in El Paso and it's delicious. She's like, how dare you? Another thing they're saying this, 45 minutes,

this is bullshit, bullshit. And then he makes corn salpy corn. You know what that means? His ass threw some corn and some salsa. And everyone's like, delicious. We were furious and she said it 20 times. Well, I get annoyed when chefs do that sort of like, you see stuff, you know, like,

ham and cheese sandwich and it's just like, like a deconstructed bon me with like a vegetable-free deconstructed bon me. And it's like, what? It's a ham and cheese. Yeah, she's like, uh, wow. How good. Corn salsa. Mm-hmm, yeah, crazy. I know my, my, my, the thing that drives me nuts the most, because I saw them on some food network thing once I hate when people say it's a study in something. It's a study in panchetta and they have like three little different things

It's like a study in I'm like, no, it's not a study. It's three different panchetta things Yeah, it's um little yeah, it's food. Okay, it's called snack. We have a progression of radishes now A progression. I'm sure they're all Bernie Sanders These little radishes angry pointing yelling I would Progressive every election if it was progressions. I'm gonna run us a progression in the next It's flow, the progression lady. I would like Bernie Sanders flow and a can of progress. And they can square off.

Flow the progression lady. Yeah, the progress of our progression. I figured out what they're even called. You know when your brain starts to think too hard and you're like, what? It was like someone, I was playing a word game. You're like, no. I was playing a word game yesterday with someone

and their clue was parting. And I was like parting, parting, parting, parting, I was like, what does this word mean? What is parting? Here. Leaving. The answer was like Moses. Oh yeah, that should have been first on my list.

I'm up in the house of religion. Well, you know, it's funny that my clue for the next thing was Chowder. And then, guess, and Chowder was supposed to allude to both Potato and to Soup. And guess what, you know what, Melissa made? Pan-chowder with Potato Chowder. I was like, oh my God, today is the day of Chowder.

Wait, are we in the, we're still in potluck, right? Oh, yeah, we're still in potluck, yes, because, because when you say potatoes, I'm like, wait, am I lost? Because they don't, they don't. No, no, no, no, this is like a pre-potato moment. It was like a, it was the potato and the wasbush. So Melissa's like, I mean, it's a potato chatter, there's a potato, there's these things and you can have it, you can have it, you can have it a potato chatter, um, there's a patchetta, um, there's, uh, these things and, um,

it's, you can have it. You can use the spoon and you can have it. And, and Pam, Pam, how are you nervous? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh. I like the fact that you, did you mean to have such an awkward presentation? Did you mean to stumble out of the gate on your nationally televised debut? I feel like it's the first time that I've thought of being a vegetarian because I can taste your fear. Did you mean to have terrible eyebrows this long after being on television and having no excuse?

I Wasn't talking to you, girl But really I was so they did not really love the Potato chowder because potato is undercooked and padmats like well the bitch doesn't like potatoes Why is she making potato chowder exactly exactly? Stupid I'm confused by that girl. Yeah, she wanted to be nice to her because she was like crying literally the whole time or crying on the inside at least. I did like Claudette because of course we called her. I was like

anybody with tortoise shell glasses that severe is evil. Like you could just tell she's evil. And she is. She's like she's totally coming through. And she does that thing that Aron Sanchez does on food network that we love where she's like, hi, I'm Claudette Wilkins. Okay, her name is Claudette Wilkins, everybody in the UK. She's like, hi, I'm Claudette Wilkins. And I made,

Mollecolalito. I'm like, can you just like turn her into like, let's like a really stereotypical. It was like, like, I'm surprised and go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, afterwards. But I'm surprised she didn't, because it's so funny. Like, your name is Claudette Wilkins. Her name is Claudette Wilkins. Her name is Claudette Wilkins. And Edible. OK. She's like, I'm Claudette.

I'm Edible. And I really enjoy the sunshine clouds and molek. I'm going to go. I like her name Claudette Zipada Wilkins. Like, she should definitely be a local news anchor for boys. You know, that's how I pass the news anchor's talk to you. So now it's time to like for the potlucks over and you know this is when it's the big twist like we're not going to be judging you, you're going to be judging you, you have to vote

and say what your favorites are and your least favorite but you can't vote for yourself etc. So they fill out these forms. Girl, I called this one. I was like, it's all gonna be women because it's a misogynist job in general. And I guarantee that the girl who bragged about herself and the girl who smiles too much will be in the bottom

because chefs hate that. Well, actually though, the ones who are in the bottom were not quite those. You had Melissa with her potato chowder and bundle of nerves was in the bottom. But so was Carrie. Carrie is a local Denver chef. That's so smiling.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. The thing is, I feel like nowadays, top chef always casts some local people, you know, like, oh, you're a local chef, you know, some of the local chefs here. And the local chefs always bomb on top chef. I think the pressure gets to them. Yeah, I think so too, because they're trying to do everything to local, local smockel instead

of very, you know. Yeah, because Carrie made a bruschetta, and it bruschetta was just not a good choice for a potluck because first of all that's more like an appetizer thing and also like a soggy on the bread as it sits there etc. So it just didn't really work for everyone and Melissa's potato was weren't done. So you know that's her problem too. Yeah and Bruce of course always has something to say because she's like you will be judging yourself or each other and then they start having comments. And of course, Bruce is like the more famous one.

So he's like, I want better potatoes. We know Bruce. We know you really have it up for Bruce, huh? I do. I don't like Bruce. I don't like someone that's like, I'm famous and then immediately needs help and accepts the help. I'm with Claudette Zepetta Wilkins who's like, yeah, you know, you need help, what a pussy, whatever she said. I was like, you go bitch.

Yeah, I mean, I didn't love Bruce and I didn't, I didn't love it. He seemed not very like ungrateful, not ungrateful, but we didn't seem to be like, oh, thanks so much. I mean, but we didn't see it either. I mean, you could have been edited out, but I mean, I'm just I'm I'm neither here nor there with Bruce so far I'm just sort of getting my lay of the land There's no one that I really truly hate so far, but either way the top three for this quick fire We're both of the Joes and Padma, of course, had a great time. She's like all right the top three's Joe and they're like Joe which Joe and the top three's Joe and they're like Joe which Joe and other Joe see what I did their gal calm down calm down gal she's like I would like to say mustache and

Taurus congratulations horse Hill all right all right mustache no no gal I'm not talking about your milk mustache and also two two David food love Julie new mar so two I would have to agree no one asked you gal and then wasn't it Tom he was like well if I had a choice, I probably also would have added. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, some days, parenting is unbearable.

I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownauer, we will be your resident not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll

feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. It's about the face over there. I don't remember who it was, but he was like, yeah, you know, I would just say I want more acid. So that would be great.

You know, to get more acid and gals like to, you really spoke to Popluck. Yeah. Yeah. As we all know, Popluck is Gales's invisible friend he's a dinosaur but has no scales I mean a dragon have you seen the new Jurassic Park trailer gale was terrified my mom goes wait a minute did they just pick the guy with corn and radishes? I guess, mom. That is not selfie-go! Like it was heard all throughout Austin, reverberating the trees. So then we go to the elimination challenge, which is

it's very food network. It's basically like we're gonna throw a block party and since Denver is a meat and potatoes kind of town, we want you to do something that's meat and potatoes, but with a modern twist. That's like meat and potatoes with a modern twist. That is so next food network star. And now it's time to get to the meat of the challenge. Get it? Yes Pat.

But they put that mall caps for you, babe. So then we see them, I think after the commercial break or something like that, they're like driving to a whole foods and stuff. And we see Fatima. Fatima is the Pakistani chef. And she's basically talking about how she was totally obsessed with Padma growing up, because she would watch

Padma on BBC One or something like that. Which is cute. Yeah. And they both wear Tula eye pencils, which I love. And also then this is in the other card, this is where I follow love with my current favorite, the Alaska lady. Yeah, I love her. I love her. They're like, so what's it like being a chef in Alaska? She's like, well, you know, it's great. Alaska is great. And he goes, what's your restaurant name? And she said to 29 parks because it's it's at mile to 29 and it's on the east side of the whatever

I love that they measure things like that. He's like so what do you make? Well, you know, whatever the Alaskan proteins are We've got seven reindeer going to slaughter right now and the music just goes We've got seven reindeer going to slaughter right now. And the music just goes, bro. Yeah, it's basically like reindeer grizzly bear and some moss. That's what you get at her restaurant. Yeah.

And fat Joe's like, I watch a lot of Alaskan first frontier. And she pretty much falls in line with the Alaskan ladies that I see on that show. Yeah, pretty much. She has to buy her flower like buy the palette and have it shipped up to Alaska. I was like, damn, I didn't realize that Alaska was that far away. You don't even have a flower there. She's like, we don't have a whole foods, but I do watch top chef. So I know that people run towards the meat.

I don't know where that is, but I will be doing like everything they say. She's like, well, you know, when you live in Alaska, you have to be quick on your toes because you never know when moose are going to come in and eat all of your cabbage. That was literally one thing that she said, when she was going to make a yeasted bread, and then she changed it to a pita. And she literally was like, well, you know, I can be adaptable because listen, we were going to serve cabbage soup and a moose came through. So guess what?

Yes, you. I love her. So Tyler meanwhile, like I'm still like I was like starting to like Tyler because I liked the way he was pushing back on so many of the cooking cliches but now he's like yeah I'm gonna make a dish that he's never made before you know what I'm on top chef I'm trying to hit home runs not singles I'm like oh shut up just making that's good. You still have to bring it back to baseball all set of a bitch. What was he making though I forget? Some beef something another. And fat Joe's like oh I'm gonna do a tar tar because I want to do something lighter you know my

friends think that I can only cook fancy food and I don't know how to make a sandwich. I'm like, honey, no one thinks you don't know how to make a sandwich. No one thinks you can make a small sandwich. Exactly. And be proud of it. Target art. I don't know.

I don't know. I'm gonna swear. I'm gonna swear. I'm gonna swear. I'm gonna swear. I'm gonna swear. I'm gonna swear. I'm gonna swear.

I'm gonna swear. I'm gonna swear. I'm gonna swear. I'm gonna swear. I'm gonna swear. I'm gonna swear. Hill, other Joe, handle bar Joe is also making beef tartar. So both Joe's are making tartars. I'm sorry. So I actually think beef tartar is absolutely delicious, but you have to, you just, you have to have it, like I think at a good place where you have to trust the process and the meat and everything. And also I think with tartars, you don't want them

like sitting around for obvious reasons. So if there's like a block party, the last thing I would want would be like a big old thing of beef tartar that's just been sitting there that's just taking a scoop out of it. I'm like, that does not work for me. Yeah, I don't believe that the guy with handlebars on his mouth is a level of technique. So I shall show my high level. I will make caramel fish with a sweet potato puree. I'm like so baby food with sugar fish. Yeah, get out of here lady. And then we got like a sequence of everyone like running around the kitchen like two minutes left. I'm in the weeds. I'm in the weeds. I'm in the weeds. I'm in the me weeds. And then smoke you sweetie four doors of four. Oh, that's Tyler. Okay. So Bruce me like doing 200 at a time is really not a big deal.

Yeah, it's not such a big deal. Why are you having two doing all your work for you? Yeah, now getting from here to the refrigerator is a different story, but I don't know. So pressure cooker drama, fat Joe, lamb tartar, I'm lost because I don't know what I'm writing in the morning. It was just like, you know, cooking, like lots of cooking. And it always like climaxes with them, like spinning those racks around in the plastic. Like that's like the favorite shot on top, chef. Like, oh, let's get a shot of them wrapping the saran wrap around the thing.

Let's spin it around. One of these days is going to be like, it's going to be Bruce who's getting spun around in the saran wrap. I did love when he dropped the surround rap. Certain things were making me laugh so hard. And I'm almost like, what are you laughing at? I don't even know. I'm just so glad this shows back.

But Amish Chris is like, okay, I'm gonna make some barbecue beef brisket, some potato waffles, which are basically waffle fries from Chick-fil-A in my head at least. And then he's like, then I'm gonna make some onion dust chow-chow. Like that's a dog. Yeah, you know, it's funny. I went to a restaurant on Monday and I got a dish that came with chow-chow. And I was like, huh, I wonder what chow-chow is. And then, earlier last night, I was watching chow-chow.

And someone was like, I'm gonna make it with a green bean chow-chow. And I'm like, chow-chow. And then on top of that, they're like, I'm gonna do this with chow bean chow chow. And I'm like, chow chow. And then on top chef, they're like, I'm gonna do this with chow chow. I was like, chow chow. It's everywhere. It's just a new way. It's just a relish. It's like a relish.

Yeah, he's like, it's just corn. Chow chow is a mean dog that has too much hair and it sheds everywhere. And then we'll bite you. Okay, I don't want to eat a chow chow. Yeah. He's just, no. I wouldn't want that either.

So then eventually they all go back to, they go their house and it's like the real world. You know, it's like, whoa, look at this place, this room, my room, my room. And the fat guys all like room together, so that way they don't bother each other with their sleep apnea machines. I mean, Tyler's like, it makes sense

that Fat Horus would want to sleep with us. I mean, he's younger than us, but he'll be on an apnea machine in a few months. Yeah. So, excuse me. So now, yeah, so it's like fun times there. Bruce's concerned his nookie won't be ready, et cetera. And then, yeah, okay, Bruce, you have help all fucking day. And you're the one who's like, I didn't have enough time. Yeah, please. So now it's the next day. We're in L he's like I didn't have enough time yeah please so now it's

the next day it's Laura we're in Larimer Square and it's time for the block party everyone's getting ready and and handlebar guy is like oh I can't get my stuff hot and my burns I'm like aren't you making tartar anyway so two so two is like oh yeah you can take my pot I'll just like heat up my stew in like one of these what are they called those pans chest pans or something They're like shape or pans. I don't know what you call the mom like an induction burner He's like he's like yeah the risk is that it may scorch. I'm like so what you're telling us is that it's gonna scorch That's what always yeah I mean, I know I'm supposed to like him because he's being helpful, but he's ruining his own game for stupid handlebar, you know, handlebar. I mean, too, it's got immunity. So, but he's got to start thinking about himself. Okay.

To don't do that. Yeah. And then Laura's cooking and she's like, Oh my God, time goes so fast when you're not in Alaska. And then Kerry, Kerry's like, Oh my god, it's so nice, because I have so many fans, like I'm the only one with people around my tent saying hi. So I think as you're at the entrance. So then go on being happy. So then Padma and Gail and Tom and and Grant, Graham show up and Pam is like, here's to a lot of meat and even more potatoes. Gale, you must be excited. I hope someone brought a shovel to help your gale.

We might as well just rename this gale square. She tells the, you know how she's like talking to the guest as she comes in. She's like, Oh, hello. Are you ready to eat? It's like, wow, you're really making it fun. So they start with Fatima. Yeah. And she makes some Indian street food, some braised chicken and piece of mocha stuff. Yeah, it looks delicious. And she goes, Padma goes, this is like Pakistani nachos. It's going to be

an avalanche. You got that almost like Chad Padeed and the sheeper is the Thomas. She goes, that's like Indian et Amame. He's like, yeah, yeah, I know. I know. I'm the, everything you said about lasagna. And she's like, did you mean to make such an avalanche with your delicious homage to me? When I say it's going to be an avalanche, I meant Gale in about 10 minutes after stuffing her face. Oh, be sure to have more of these ready for her.

She does not like to wait. Poor Gale. She's not wearing a pattern, but she's wearing this weird color block dress. It's like this poop brown. Yes, white on top. I remember this. This is around the part I was like getting sleepy.

I was like, I'm all 10, but I was like, wait. Eyes open, taking this image, Gail, this is brown, but there's like a weird rhombus of brown and then, like, on the shoulders. It's like shaped into a spade, like on a card, and then the top is white, and I'm like, poor Gail. It's like she puts herself under the queen of heart scene in Alice and Wonderland,

but she's just like a knight of spades. So sad. So sad. Oh, the world turns upside down. Fatima's like I just pooped. Bad one likes me. So Brittany, oh there's some girl named Brittany. She's this little white skinny girl. You know they just showed a guest who I hate the guests like the normal people. And she's like, um, like potatoes with Pakistani food, like, how's that gonna work?

I'm like, up 22 year old white girl. Shut up. Yeah, go back to university of Boulder. What are you talking about? How are potatoes gonna work within the Indian food? Have you even seen Indian food? Have you never noticed all the potatoes in Indian food? Have you ever had a veggie samosa? Yeah, she's like, how's that going to work? I'm going to say something veggie. Just like, oh my god. So two serves up a Vietnamese stew of some sort.

And Gale's like, hmm, I taste bitterness. I taste a little bit of bitterness. This stew has been scorched. It's been scorched. Stupid handle bar mustache, shaking his pot. That's for you two. Yeah. Am I standing next to Clis to Gail who got stuck with Graham on this round? Poor Gail. Like she doesn't have enough personality to get stuck with Graham.

He's like, did you like it? She's like, yeah, let's go eat some more food. Like that's the only thing she got to say the whole time. I love Gail. I want Gail to have her just desserts again. I wish like, they should bring that back. Stupid child molester ruining it for everyone. No kidding, right? God, those child molesters are really making a dent. Yeah, sick of it.

Did you see by the way, this has nothing, nothing to do with child molesters. Gregory from Top Chef a few seasons ago, was there? No, I didn't notice him, but I did notice Hosea. Oh my gosh. Well, you know, Jose, I'm still mad that he won, but I'm glad at least that he grew in his beard instead of having that giant brillo pad under his chin. I'm glad that they shot him from the side because he looked busted. I was like, aha, they hate Hosea too. He is just the worst. The worst. He's the worst worst Okay, thanks for listening to watch a crap is

So Bruce's no key everyone likes everyone likes everyone likes Bruce is no key of course because he had help from to to wrap up that thing And then Kerry served up a brace beef short rib, but she served it with like a chip of some sort in times like race beef short rib, but she served it with like a chip of some sort and I'm like, huh? Well, chips are burnt. I'm getting some bitterness. I think it's a burnt chip. It's a burnt chip. This is almost bad.

It's making Cocoa Van without an old pen. And Carrie is a smiley one. So she's like, oh, gosh. I put those chips aside just for you because I thought they were perfect. And now they're not even perfect. Well, I'm still happy to be here. What a great day. God, God, I love goat cheese.

Guess I went a little too hard on that one. Sorry, guys. You look like you need to stop. Yeah. Tom, she's lucky. Tom just didn't say, shut up, smiley lady. Go home. And you know what, I can't take a smile.

Go home. No. What, why would you smile? You know, we're here to be top chef and not small chef. So who made this? Oh, mustache. It's like I made a beef tartar with a seaweed crumble and onion yeast and potato flakes.

It's like the rental. Could you make that soundboard disgusting? Like everything you just said sounds disgusting. And Pat Pammagos, do I just put all this in at once? I mean, who am I? Gail Simmons? And this is when he's like, Pat McCap fit all my meat in her mouth

and then he laughs at himself for five minutes. And then Tom's like, well, I like cold meat. And I was like, yeah, I hate warm, slimy meat. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha go up to him gal and she's like hello brother hello my man hello my no don't say the n-word gal so then brother luck poor thing he's like well this was inspired by the the state flower column by I was like who says that what just say the state flower column by. I was like, who says that? Just say the state flower. You could just say the state flower.

You don't have to say column by and also. Yeah, it's like, I want this to look like column by. Sound sounds delicious, dude. Thanks for having us. You know what's actually kind of crazy is that column by and happen. That was like 99, right, or 2000. That's like almost 20 years ago. And it's still not okay. No, it's still not okay, but it's kind of fun It's kind of funny to think that there are like kids going up when they hear Columbine

It doesn't it doesn't do anything to them, but to us for like Columbine Yeah, it's yeah, I remember I was here in Austin for I think the 15th year of 9-11. What was that? I think the 15th year of 9-11, what was that? That's two years ago or something. That was in 2016. So they were showing it on TV and they were like, 9-11, 9-11. And these kids were next to me and they asked their mom. They were like, what's that?

Oh, no. Fucking kids. I mean, how could they know? You don't even know a kid. I don't even know a kid. I'm not a kid. I don't even know a kid. I don't even know that it's Courtney's fault. It's like you have to teach kids everything. Okay, so, Gail, how's it going, brother? And

he made colabin potatoes, which sounds disgusting and sad. And then Rojello made some croquettes. He made some potato and meat croquettes. But Tom's like, whoa. Did you taste meat and Padme's like, no, please don't pull pull off. What did she say? Please don't try and pull off slimy cold meat. Like once Padme had slimy meat, she just rolled with it for the rest of the episode. I think I have. Oh my dad's here.

Well, you can talk. Oh, it's Ronnie's. What do I want? For lunch? Gonna go somewhere. Let's go someplace. I'll hang up on bed. We're done here. Just stop chef. No, can you give me 15 minutes? Well, I'm gonna meet Carly. So just go. Okay, yeah, bring me a waterburger junior meal with cheese and jalapeno. Yeah, listen to my order. A waterburger, junior cheese and jalapeno meal, large size with a doctor pepper, and then another waterburger junior with cheese and jalapeno on the side. Yes, you can. Just pretend you're talking on the cell phone so you don't

sound like a binge eater. That's what I do. Dad, we're recording a water burger junior meal with cheese and jalapeno, yes. And then an extra water burger cheese and jalapeno on the side. Yeah, everything else is fine. Just make sure it's water sized and with a doctor pepper.

And if I'm not here, just throw it in the fridge. God, I love you. Oh my God, I got to order that from bed. That was so cute. That totally reminds me of like when I'm home. But what's best, the best part about that is how your voice got high. It like, yeah, you became like a little kid because you're like, you're like badmoss talk about slime. I mean, oh dad, I'll have a wetter burger and fries and what a size on the side another wetter burger with fries and. That's how I ask for your things. And he's like, what could you say it again? He's going to text me and say what?

Yeah, good. Um, so, like, guy, he's so sweet. So around this time in the episode, again, I was passing out. I was in Hamilton's slumber, but I did wake up enough to hear Gale talking about how much she loved Chris's chow-chow. I was like, what's happening? What's happening?

What's happening? What's happening? The first time I ever ate chow-chow, please stop, Gale. That's mean. She should really eat anything. Um, my dear friend, gal Simmons, she's not happy with just one shout. She needs to have two. Plus her heart. Oh, so Tyler, he's like, Hey, I hope you enjoy my sweet, peop potato puree, crispy potatoes and smoked potatoes and pork gravy and

smoked potato potato potato. And Tom's like, well, it sounds like I like it. And Bradman goes, I like crispy potatoes. The skin, it's curling around. You really went there with the skin. Wow. Look at the skin, Tom. She did love that skin. I do remember she said that she was like fascinating with how the skin could curl around, which I'm still confused with what she's talking about. And he's like, well, yeah, because I'm on top chef, I'm not gonna make tartar like some pussy. And they were like, whoa, damn, Tarellar. Yeah, he's like, I was a thong rocker.

Food saved my life. So then Melissa, meanwhile, made a potato puree with pork belly and they're like, okay. And they walk away and Padma goes, did you like that? And Tom's like, no, no, no, should we give it to Gail? No one was food. Should we give it, Gale, she'll, she'll eat anything just handed over there. I mean, my soul be a rubber shoe at this point. She'll, whatever it is. One time I gave her a light bulb to turn in next year. I knew her gums are bleeding. If there was a fast food restaurant based on fingernails. Gail would buy it out every day.

Disgusting. Gail's like, is this a steak and potato croquette? No. I love these people. And then they go to Adrian, who I think that's the one that you don't like. From LeBernand and they eat her baby food and candy fish. And Ham is like, this is just too sweet.

You know, it's just sweet and sweet. It's just basically really disgusting. Thank you. And she's like, but I'm from LeBernand. Yeah, this is not the impression I wanted to give. I'm like, your name is Cheat Ham. Okay. That's not a winning name.

Change your name. Cheatham, okay? That's not a winning name. Change your name, Cheatham. So, um, Cheat. So now the judges sit down and talk about what they know. What do you think? Well? They like Fatima and Tyler. They like Fatima and Tyler and they also like Bruce and, um, Musasjo and Chris. But yeah. But Kerry's potato chip does not go over well

Yeah, times like that was burnt. It was a burnt chip. It was like a chip and dip I like a chip and dip, but I don't like a bad chip and dip Quite you're here too bad. They never just because I was ruffled Have chip and deal there's a team that's a team there chip and dip also good team chip and burn not a team that's a team there. Chip and dip also good team. Chip and burn with not a team. For a good reason. Did you see the commercial with Andy Cohen with two of the people from the crown?

Um, I stopped it for like a second and I was like, Andy, you've got to get your look together. You're like, haggard these days. Oh, I thought he looked so cute. It was just so awkward because he's with two English people from the crown, which is like a smart show. He's like, so guys, you're from the crown. And they just looked at him like, what are we doing? Yeah. How big do you think we know this boob's really are?

I think that is going to be the most awkward episode of what happens live of all time. Yeah. But he did get it all in and his time allotment. So I had to write, say congratulations, because he was like, tonight, right after top chef, and then nodded in a week. I was like, you did it. Yay. So now we go in the judges table.

And again, they're like, let's whip out the slow motion camera. Walk and slow. We're an Armageddon. Did you see Gail try and walk in her color blocked spade dress? So they started talking about who's getting he's bad and all that stuff. They've loved, you know, who you said, let me see. I like the ones who were on top were Tyler Chris and Fatima wound up on top. Yes.

And Amish, Chris, Graham was like, I was really trying to wrap my head around it, but I finally got it. I was like, it was barbecue and corn. Yeah. I love Chris's crispy waffle. So here's where my nose get really sparse, because now I was like full on like sleeping. But I like woke up like just in time to hear it. You're like, I loved your crispy waffle. And Amish, Chris is like, yeah, well, I was inspired by family because we're

on from family's culture and culture is family and family signs like culture and dumplings. It's like, you didn't just win an Oscar. Okay, Amish Chris, you're on my good side. Stay there. Yeah. And then of course with Chris is like, so I have one question Tyler. How did you do that potato? It curled in, Gail did you hear it? Did you hear that? It curled in, Gail wouldn't know because she inhaled it too quickly. Gail did you feed it in your lungs curling around?

Can we get someone from production to sweep up the burnt chips around Gail's chair? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So the winner is Tyler. Yeah, Tyler's the winner. And then we bring out the bottom three, which is Adrian, Melissa and Kerry. So this is when I'm lucky to Wong Fu love Julie Neumar because you would be out if you didn't have immunity.

So Padma does her favorite thing and our favorite thing she looks at at Cheetah and whatever her name was Adrian and goes, did you want your dish to be that sweet? Yes, she Padmaed her. Oh so good. It was so good. Pat with suck. Oh, did you mean to make an nutritious dish for us? And Thomas, like, well, you know, the toastone was sweet. And then you had pork and you made that sweet. Then there, you know, I was standing by Patman, she's sweet, you know, this Patman is great. And you know, the air, there was something in the air or sweet, someone was chewing gum. There

was just a lot of sweet going on. Someone had brought a DVD copy of the sweet life of Zach and Cody. I was like oh that's sweet It's like you're like sweet and low, but without the sweet end. It's just low, you know because there's already too much sweet She's like oh I'm from LeBernodan She's like did you mean to embarrass LeBernodan? Did you mean to sell a Eric Repair as reputation? You put the repair in Eric Repair. But ultimately they just really didn't like Molissa's mashed potatoes because she obviously

sucks at potatoes. Yeah, which she just keeps making traditionally over and over. Yeah, like that. So ultimately Molissa gets the axe and she's sent packing. I mean, it's so sad when she's crying because she's like, I just like, I mean, of course, I was the first one to get kicked off. So like, of course, it sucks. Like, what do you want me to say? Like, you totally suck. But I don't know if you say what about Tom Mann because he's sending and the quick fire is going to be different or the come back kitchen or whatever is going

to be different than everyone. And they just kept the camera on her and she just kept sobbing and sobbing and hating herself more and more. It was so mean and I loved it. And then it sort of like ended with her going to last chance kitchen and then there was like some sort of twist that I evidently slipped through. Well did you see the commercial that Brooke did? This was the best part of the show. Brooke winner of last year, you know, is all done up. She's had like a glamour shots thing.

And she's wearing like a flower dress. And she's walking with I think like a margarita or something. And she's like, hi, Brooke here. These beautiful surroundings bring me back to winning top chef. I was in my comfort zone and they show like an octopus leg or something or an octopus arm. She's like, and now that I am out of the heat of the kitchen, it is time for a much needed vacation at secrets law, mohair, ass. Like this is the most awkward thing I've ever seen. No one wants to go on that vacation now. Okay. Here's the secret. You're awkward. Get the fuck off cameras. Stop trying to

sell vacation packages. Okay. Yeah. Make me an octopus leg. And so that was pretty much all of top chef. And since it is Friday, and we've had like the last several Fridays off, why don't we, um, why don't we go back to something that we have not done in forever? Let's get it back on track. Why don't we do some crap and smell bag shall we? So um crap and smell bag is a segment we do where we answer questions that people submit. And if you want to submit those questions, you can support the podcast on Patreon. And if you support at the crapens mailbag or higher, then you get to write in a question. So here's one.

Now, these questions, we apologize. They've been sitting here for a little bit of time, but we're gonna, we've got three left and we'll start up a new mailback. So Sue Vlocky asks, isn't me or is the entrance mother a clone of Shirley Jones? If she was, how would the real housewives of Dallas, Partridge family make their living? Surely they aren't all musically talented. Would they go on the road with a singing group, self-help team, wrestling act? That's Sue Blocky's question. Wait, which cast? Dallas. So how would the real house of Dallas, partridge family make their living?

I guess the idea is that D would be the mom and the rest would be like the troubadours of some sort. So well, maybe they could like go out into the world and try and find different shit to make face stuff out of like, you know, like pick off. One of them could be picking off boogers under a desk somewhere and like try and put that through a DNA scale or a DNA scanning thing. I mean, I don't know. I like to think of them as I like to think if they're gonna be a partridge family, they're gonna be a partridge family. Like it's gonna be Leigh Ann on tambourine and she's like psh psh psh. Listen to my tambourine psh psh psh. And it's just go up and like shaken and carries face. How I care, Reduber, you're gonna listen to my tambourine and I don't fucking care.

You can't talk me with your saxophone. Right in their face. I think Brandy would be on sax. For some reason, I just see her being on sax. Yeah, I do too. But she'd be one of those people that just like plays. And I think every time that comes. Yeah. And I think that Stephanie would definitely be on some sort of banjo,

but she would like play it. Her head would bob left and right, sort of like a mop it, you know, some sort of banjo where she would like play it by like her head would Bob left in the right sort of like a Muppet, you know playing her little banjo I think d'antro would play like three guitars Like she'd be the really talented one Well, she'd like And then pick up another guitar and be like And then pick up both guitars and heck but

pick up another guitar and be like, do do do do do do do do do and then pick up both guitarists Be like, you messed up your notes, young lady. I think she'd be like, I'd like to bring my soulmate and daughter up here to perform with me. Not you, Dan, dry meant Jackie. Oh, how Jackie come on over here. Got your hair net on. All right, let's play this. What, what instrument would I feel like Cameron would play a flute? What what instrument would I feel like Cameron would play a flute?

Don't know a recorder recorder dumb blondes play recorders smart blondes play everything Yeah, she definitely would have the recorder going or a piccolo or something. Oh really? That said get on the organ. No, it's just a figure of speech Really, that's it. Get on the organ. No, it's just a figure of speech. Hey, what else isn't that mail band? Oliver Haskins, we love this Oliver Haskins. He says, I have a theory that Bethany is rebranding from Skinny Girl. Her charity is Be Strong. Her tagline was, if you want to mess with the B, and according to page 6, her new flower line is called B floral. If I am correct get ready for it for a real househouse of New York season brought you by the letter B like Gonsensumi Street. However I can't help but wonder, this is like carry from Sexy City,

I can't help but wonder if Kiwi lifestyle guru Angela Stone might feel that Bethany was cheating on a cheater brand on the back of being real. Assuming that Bethany wouldn't just hang up on Angela, how do you think that talk would go? We already did this one. We did? I thought, yeah. Sorry. Well, it's, well, I mean, I let you keep reading it, but I remember we did this one.

I think you're right. When I, when I, you're just throwing up leaves, because I remember thinking of Beth and they just throwing up leaves in the middle of the forest. Yeah. Yeah. Well, like seriously leaves, like seriously? I'm allergies there. I'm allergies. She's just named everything,

everything, everything, everything. This is the crisis. I'll say the leaves don't have all fall down. OK. I get the leaves back on the trees. OK. OK. Well, in that case, when we go on to Benjamin Cohen's question. Seriously, be real. Okay.

Seriously, be real. Be real. How does this tree be real? Okay. It would be it would be a bird tree, be a bird tree. Okay. But don't be a bird tree. So Benjamin Cohen, some layer of question says, I saw that Angela Stone is selling international shopping trips on her website. I know that this is Escort adjacent, but can you pass this deal up? How would you use Angela's services to enhance your lives? Well, I actually brought up the website and it's kind of funny because I don't actually know what an international shopping trip is. So I mean, how would be used to enhance our lives? I think it would just be knowing that

we are on a curated trip with Angela Stone, a lifestyleist. Well, what does she know the pee on the pot in every city? Like, what the hell? I think that she, if she was going to enhance my life personally, she should start a defensive driving course. And that's who teaches you how to drive, you know. And then the whole time she could just keep slapping on the brakes and go, no, it's not what I mean. Did you mean to try and kill me right now?

Oh, no, you didn't mean it. You're just a terrible driver and you'll probably kill somebody. Don't cry. Why are you crying? You failed. It's all alright. We can try again. I actually, I'm on the website and there's actually a lot of different options to pick from. It's not really, it's not like a great website, but I clicked on, okay, Men's Styling. Let's see what she has to say about Men's Styling. And I guess the Men's men styling is more like she is selling a fashion trip where you go and she will fix your men's style. So she says we can we can help you create the ideal

wardrobe of your lifestyle as part of a mean styling package you will discover what opinions work best for you and what colors you wear that will complement your daily life. Once we have determined your colors and your styles, we will carry out a wardrobe assessment where we will decide which items stay and which have to go. We will then go to an exclusive personal shopping trip and choose a range of game ins to suit your updated image. The most important thing to us is you feel and look fantastic. Are you ready to discover an image that will produce your piece of non-professional success. Wait a minute, no one's ever heard this before. There's something called Finding Your Color. Bitch, what are you guys just starting to get Cosmo over there? My mother had color parties back in the 80s, okay? Those fucking color parties are

the reason my entire house, my childhood house was painted salmon because my mother found something that told her salmon was her color. Our whole house was being, okay, people would come in there and start laughing because that's what the color said. Angela, let it go, Angela. Let it go. See you as more of a salmon bean. A little bit of a salmon. I was, I always thought I was more of a salmon bean. A little bit of a salmon. I always thought I was more of a hillabit. Alright, let's close up more of a snapper bean.

Let's close up this mailbag. How about that? Oh my. Well everyone, thank you so much for listening to our Top Chef Recap today. Thank you to everyone who's bought tickets and everyone who plans to buy tickets and if you are not buying tickets and you don't have no plan to do so. Well, change your mind because they're great. It's a great, our shows are great, they're fun, they're super wonderful. Ronnie have a wonderful time in Texas. We will be back on Monday for more recapping goodness, everyone.

So we love everybody. Ciao with you later. Bye, guys. Hey, Prime members. You can listen to Watch Your Crappens, Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Freefree with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.