Watch What Crappens - Top Chef & RHOA: Winner Winner Reception Dinner

Episode Date: March 19, 2019

Top Chef announces its new champ and Eva finally gets married in a dress she's not sobbing about. Will NeNe find a way to make it all about her? To hear this week's bonus episode breaking down the Real Housewives of Potomac trailer and to find Crappens on Demand video recaps, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! Countess Luann Warhol Pop Art avail through February! **Crappens Live is coming to Cincinnati, Portland, Phoenix, Boston, Irvine, Milwaukee, and Minneapolis. Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Let's get Racy with Miss Stacey. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony! Incredible edible Matthew sisters. Give them hell, Miss Noel. Kelly Grant, the Grant Master. We love you guys I've been spent there so much that I've been. Hello and welcome to Watch Rock Rappers. The podcast about all that crap. We just love to talk about on EO Brahves.

I'm Ronnie Carram. I'm also on the Rose Prax podcast, but that's over now. So screw that. Can stop saying that for a while. And here I am with the gorgeous Ben Mandelker of the Real House Wars of Kitchen Ireland, Hello Bean. Hi, how's it going, everyone?

It feels so good to be back here in Los Angeles. Ronnie and I were just all around last week. I mean, we're in DC, then South by Southwest, and Cincinnati. Thank you, truly, from the bottom of my heart. I was like, a poem, Our Heart. Can I speak for your heart, too, Ronnie? Sure, why not?

My heart has no bottom. Thank you guys for everyone who showed up. It was so awesome. That was our most rigorous, like, span of traveling and it was really intense and the people really showed up even Jack showed up. You know, it was so, so fun. So thank you guys so much for coming to our shows. And if you thought that then we're going to stop trying to push shows on you, you are sorely mistaken. I'm sorely mistaken. First of the format, most tomorrow morning, we have a new show that we are announcing in a city we've never been to. So keep an eye on our on our social media for that because there'll be a Patreon pre sale that's going to go on from Tuesday through Thursday and

that's going to be public on sale on Friday. So be ready people, but that'll be tomorrow. In the meantime, our next shows are in Portland and in Phoenix. We're going back to Phoenix. So that's like coming up around the corner people. That's coming up. So I forget the specific dates, like the fifth and sixth or the fourth and the fifth, whatever it is, go to watchacrapans.com and come by our show. It'll be super, super, super fun. Just listen to our shows from this last week and you will see. You'll see.

Also, Ronnie, this is very nerve-wracking because I'm on jury duty this week. And the way you bet that shit together, the way it works here in Los Angeles, I don't know if it's California thing or not, it's like you're sort of like on call, and at night you have to call and be like, do I have to come down to the courthouse? So, so far so good. So I'm just asking for everyone's hopes and prayers that I can make through the week without jury duty.

But if I do get called in for jury duty, you know what I love about Crappens? Is that we have fans everywhere, and one of our listeners Rebecca works down at the courthouse so I'm excited about that. Well then tell her to get you off okay here's how you get off jury duty here's how I got off the last time. They said if somebody is like an ounce over the the limit for like drug dealer whatever for cocaine like if somebody's selling cocaine and they were selling like just a tiny bit over the amount Would you you know still arrest them and I was like no I wouldn't the cops aren't here to be me Do us the cops are here to help us, you know, and they were like

Yeah, I had like they they were like questioning and they asked the entire like pool of potential jurors. They're like now people We all agree, right? Innocent and Jill proven guilty. You saw this man walking and did you immediately? Did you immediately think he was guilty? You weren't close mind were you and everyone's like no? No, no, no, and I was like honestly when I saw him I thought maybe he did it No, no, no, and I was like, honestly, when I saw him, I thought maybe he did it. They're like, I'm like, yeah, well people are so dumb like they're trying to get on jury duty.

You know what I mean, it's like the bachelor. Like, what do you win? You know? But today, we're not talking about that. We're talking about the real housewives of Atlanta and top chef. Okay. We're just going to talk about Atlanta a little bit. So we'll save that to the end. But for right now, we are on TV party streaming this as we are every Monday. So high TV party and Miss this on TV party you can find it on crap and so on demand where we have all of our video recaps up You can watch them on your smart TV your smartphone anything that smart you have a smart child watch it on your smart child Smart child, I don't think such a thing exists You have a smart refrigerator.

What's it in that? But today we're on TV party. So here we are tonight. It's a finale of Top Chef. Top Chef, did you mean to end the season, Gale? Yes, that's it. We're at the end of Top Chef, so we're going to send it out properly. So you know, we're still in Macau, and we're down to three chefs.

It's Sarah, Kelsey, and Eric. And to celebrate, they're making it to the end-ish. They like show up in this auditorium where there's just these like giant gal-sized screens that are like, we're gonna do a multimedia presentation. So the- Get the trons. The Galatron. Oh look, you're on the Galatron.

Uh oh, it's trying to eat you. So- One is bringing West African food to America. And the other two are some hit girls with stringy hair that no one really understands. Yeah, you know what I didn't like? So there was like a little video package for each person. And so we have Tom talking about Kelsey first. And he's like, yeah, well, you know, Kelsey, she's the first chef that's a caterer. That's really come this far. I was like, are we just going to forget about, I believe his name was Dave from season one,

who famously said, you're a bitch bitch, right? No, he said I'm not your bitch bitch. I'm not your bitch bitch. Yeah, he was a caterer. Let's look, can we not discount him? He was a season one, okay? Tom is a caterer, is Tom, Jerk? Tom. Yeah, so then there was the Eric video

where Padma was the one talking, and she's like, I love listening to Eric talk about food. He's a born teacher, and you can tell he has a great passion about his heritage And it comes to not only the food he makes, it's how he talks about it. You know, he talks about the way Gail talks about Charles and shoes Am I right everyone? Never shuts up. Never. Charles and shoes. Yeah, I watched Padma's Instagram this week. I tried to make a video of it, but I'm really in. I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous.

I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous.

I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous.

I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous. part of what you do, but please stop. Okay. Yeah. I really wanted to eat a taco that day and I couldn't even eat it. Yeah. Well, she's to have that Carl's junior commercial where she ate that burger and like tripped it all over her knees and like, oh, I don't know. I'm here for it. I'm not.

Stop it. You know, I'm tacos, lady. I'm gay, but I'm all here for Padma sexuality. It's not Padma sexuality. She's like raping a taco. Like when did that taco ever consent? It didn't, okay? It didn't consent.

And especially on camera. On camera. You know, if I were a taco, I would be so honored to have Padma be the one who... Bluey, you know. Who swallowed you whole for sexual... I mean, don't you want to add my view instead of like, I don't know.

Like, Graham, last season. I would rather have me eat me than Graham. But Graham just eats like regular sexy people eat. Like, you eat, you know, you don't blow your food. It's disgusting. I think Graham eats like a cartoon, you know, where he opens his mouth really big, little little Caesar style and it's like one bite No, I want to be eaten by Padma this sounds like really disturbing so yeah, so Padma is like yeah

I can listen to him and talk and talk except about curry Eric will not be winning today because he had to nerve to argue with me publicly twice. Eric really fucked himself. That's all I could think. I was like, Eric would have won this show, but he really fucked with Padma. And Padma never forgets. Okay, she's like a real housewife. You're not going to fuck with Padma and then just win.

Okay. Never, never. So then it's time to talk about Sarah and Grant. It's like, Sarah is a unique blend of talent and country. And you can just see Padma Clammering. And did you say country? Or did you say awful? I heard awful. You hear like, like, like, poor Sarah, you know, she's like, they're like, we respect where you come from. And then they're like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, they're like, we respect where you come from and then they're like, we're in there, they're like, we're in there, they're like, they're like, they're like, we respect where you come from and then they're like,

we're in there, they're like, we respect where you come from and then they're like, we're in there, they're like, we're in there, they're like, we respect where you come from and then they're like, we're in there, they're like, we respect where you come from and then they're like, we're in there, they're like, we're in there, they're like, we respect where you come from and then they're like, we're in there, they're like, we respect where you come from and then they're like, Abolation food no one wants to eat that but Sarah's made it palatable somehow just by putting mustard on it You can make poop on the sidewalk tastes good. Congrats Sarah Congrats, I wouldn't want to get Graham doing my thing like he's still too new. Okay. Yeah, you know Graham has not really had a breakout personality. I feel like after all these years He's been around for a little while actually, but like he's just sort of like that guy who's like not emerald

or not. Eric repair or not. He has he has white out colored glasses. That is your right. What's the point of being like right? I'm so sorry I forgot. I forgot. Okay.

Now what? Now what? Okay, so they judges come out. There's like all this smoke on the stage and the judges come out and it's like it's so over the top, you know, and you know, I was like, what was it like to watch a cell phone the screen? Was it devastating? I'm used to it.

I'm Padmau. She's like one of you will walk away with the grand prize of $125,000. Otherwise known as one week of Salmon Rusty Alamoney payments. Take it away, lawyers. Am I right, Gale? Just ask Gale for just to verify that. Yeah, I'm a right, Gale. Oh, it's a totally stupid eating fish sticks.

Tom's like, my advice is, you know, just keep doing what got here and don't forget that. Thanks, Tom. Thanks for that really insightful advice. Well, it was advice that Sarah didn't take, unfortunately. Nope. I was like, what are you doing, Sarah? Yeah, you know that it's like shallow.

It sounds like shallow Tom advice, but you better listen to it, okay? Yeah. He's like, it's the most basic advice and yet no one listens to me. Every single final, someone says, I'm gonna try something new. I'm gonna sous-v this steak.

Still mad at that situation with Carla. So today's challenge is not to fuck up a curry, Eric. Today's challenge is not to fuck up one of the most basic food dishes that is made by almost every culture. Eric. So they're challenged. They have to use sous-chasse, of course, because it's a finale.

So they they pick knives to pick sous. And by the way, this gives Tom an opportunity for Tom to say what I've discovered, I think is his favorite line on top chef. Before we get started, maybe you, maybe a little help, little help. He loves doing that. I think we get started, maybe a little help. A little help. He loves doing that. Maybe it's time for a little help. A little help from your friends.

He's like his favorite joke of all time. So Kelsey takes Brandon, she gets to go first. So she picks chocolate factory guy. The fact has Magoric. Yeah. I need to go Doric. Chocolate factory guy who still looks like. I think it real hard right now.

He's like, is that them gum anyone? Is that them gone? He's never going to live. They aren't them gum down. You know, no, he won't. And then Eric takes Justin. Sarah takes, she's like, I'm going to keep the happiness train alive with Eddie. It's like the happiness train alive with Eddie. It's like the happiness

train alive with Eddie. He looks like he's about to poop tears. Like he's choosing. He's gonna poop out poop made of tears. Okay, that's not happy he is. No, she's smart. She's choosing Eddie because she knows that Eddie will like quote unquote accidentally sabotage the other two teams and be like, oh my god, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to at least feeling all their budgets to spend the story. Exactly. So then he also chooses Neenie, who is my personal favorite. And then Eric also chooses Michelle, because Michelle is just so pumped to be there right now. Just like, I'm just like, you're just like, you're to fight for Eric.

I bring my passion for food. I'm just here to fight for Eric. I'm just here to fight. I'm bringing my passion for food. I'm bringing my passion for food. I'm bringing my passion for food. I'm bringing my passion for food. I'm bringing my passion for food. I'm bringing my passion for food.

I'm bringing my passion for food. I'm bringing my passion for food. I'm bringing my passion for food. I'm bringing my passion for food. I'm bringing my passion for food. I'm bringing my passion for food. I'm bringing my passion for food. I'm bringing my passion for food.

I'm bringing my passion for food. I'm bringing my passion for food. I'm bringing my passion for food. I'm bringing my passion for food. I'm bringing my passion for food. I'm bringing my passion for food. I'm bringing my passion for food. I'm bringing my passion for food. I'm bringing my passion for food. I'm bringing my passion for food. I'm to be paid by losers. Not so bad being 8th best is it losers. Next time cook better, I mean it's called top chef, not top dumbass.

So you'll have three hours to cook, you're a four-course meal, but two hours into prep, you'll serve to Tom and Nilo, and five minutes before that, we're going to print call Gail and ask her for a refrigerator's running. We're going to sell Gail. There's been a free on emergency and everything has to be taken out of the fridge. You only have room to save one item. Oh, the look on her face will be hilarious. I mean, who keeps Snickers bars in the freezer? Right guys?

She keeps both the ice cream Snickers and the regular ones. Who does that? Lessor heart. So the least successful will be eliminated on the spot. By the way, I'm using a yellow light today in my house and look what it's doing on my teeth I have wouldn't teeth I never would have noticed I never would have noticed well now you're not going to see anything else but my yellow would be thanks a lot. Did you mean to wear yellow wouldn't dentures Ronnie randall Washington uh so Kelsey's like that's not gonna nothing to good. And Padma is like, we're super excited to see what you cook. Like, really? Could you put some love into that sentence, Fadma please?

Fadma, I'm turning into Tom. I call her Padma and I'm sticking to it. You can't brainwash me, Tom, Colliqueo. Yeah. So Kelsey's menu is gonna be summers of the south. And she need to do a buttermilk something and other. And then Eric is gonna do, he's gonna do like a jerk spiceiced tartar and it's gonna be like his foods can be the story of the transatlantic slave trade. Sounds delicious! Yeah, I'm like, I actually think it's a super cool idea. I just think it's

funny that like his version is like, Kelsey's just like, ah, this sounds, this is like, I don't remember this late rate, you know. Sounds delicious. Also, Kelsey is, when she's talking about her, she's like, I'm on it to be shocking and beautiful. So like, you're gonna make grits. Like, I know you're gonna make grits. So like, who are we kidding here, okay? Let's get be shocking and beautiful.

I'm making buttermilk. I'm gonna put a buttermilk in a bowl. I'm gonna put a buttermilk over corn'm not going to talk over corn bread. Okay. People are going to fall every day. Although honestly, I'm not mad at it. And I just came, I just used my fridge today for the first time since we've been gone. And I realize that there is a whole thing of buttermilk in there.

So who knows? Maybe I'll have a summer in the sales. That's going to be shocking. Well, we were, I mean, we were, we were in Kentucky, Ronnie, by the way, I feel like we didn't really appreciate enough that we were in Brittany's homeland just yesterday. It doesn't count unless you have a hooters waitress, you fucks up your order 20 times, okay? That's the way to do Kentucky if you're going for a Brittany, a Brittany trip. By the way, speaking of culinary traditions, our Uber driver told us that we missed out on

not getting this one dish. I figured it was called like Grotten's or something like that. And he's like, we're like, what is that? He's like, oh, it's a Cincinnati tradition. It's pig parts and oats. Yeah, I was out of biography. Am I right, yeah? Yeah, that guy pitches as well as Eric. Pig parts and oats, like does not sound good. Yeah. So then let's see, Sarah's like, I want everything to have a

little agent and Portuguese to with some southern charm. We're never going to do. I've never done half the stuff I'm going to do today. But that's what type chef is, right? Just what it is. Like, how is that what top chef is? Tom just said, keep doing cauliflower grates, okay? Yeah. He literally just said it, literally. Yeah. So now they, now they all are going to go shopping. And by the way, Sarah's big gamble is that she's not going to do, not going to do dessert. So anyway, they're all shopping and shopping. And there's like this small drama that like Sarah needs green peanuts. And then

guess what? She finds, I don't know why I made her sound like that. She doesn't sound like that at all. green peanuts. And then guess what she finds. I don't know why it made her sound like that. She doesn't sound like that at all. But that was like what I was feeling on the inside. Like my inner like my inner lady. Pied up. Yeah, my inner Brittany was going mad. But guess what she found them, of course. It was like a fake drama. So now, so then after the shopping it's like night time did you have anything to say about the shopping I just had that they weren't shopping I mean like there wasn't for me I didn't think there was anything no no okay so now it's night time

I just like when they said that'll be 4,000 mac and these patacas so that was funny I just like when southern people say anything I'm from the south so I just like that in Southern people say anything. I'm from the South, so I just get funny. We just like doing that. And people are like, Makaku's, why? So now it's nighttime. So now Kelsey Erickins here are like walking around, getting food and stuff.

And the only thing that I thought was notable was that they went and they got, I chicken cookies, chicken cookies, which I'm really intrigued by what that is. Two concepts I don't often put together. Is it just the shape of chicken or is it made of chicken? I think it's made of chicken because there were shops of circles. Oh yeah, it's really going to confuse everybody.

Wait, is not the shape of chicken those circles? Guys, so this is the first time we hear Sarah's story, which, you know, and I've said this every episode I think this season, but I know that you guys are instructed to give really meaningful stories for your dishes but don't waste my time with your bullshit stories okay this is Sarah's she's like I'm making boiled peanuts and some shrimp prawns which first of all boring K-thanks but she's like this dish reminds me of family trips we get boiled peanuts and then we do a shrimp boil because my dad would drive us all over. And I was like, that's your story. Please don't say, I literally

wrote down a job. I'd say this 20 times in the episode. She does. I'm a dad with drive us around and we get some shrimp boils and some peanuts. I was like, you're that sucks, okay? No, you're not. That's me to say. That's too far. She had a childhood, a very transportation focus, okay? Yeah, like a bean driven all around. And I remember again to where I'm like, wow, I feel like it's in my childhood where the peanuts, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, my childhood story would be like,

we were on our way to McDonald's and my mom would take a fly swatter out of the glove compartment and try and beat us from the front seat. So we ate McDonald's. It's like I do eat McDonald's every day and like coming with like a fly swatter print on my face. Totally winning top set. So now it's the morning and they so they have to make their first dish of their four course meal.

They have to preview it for the judges and whoever's is the worst gets kicked off. And so Sarah is like, you know, she's like, I have one course to prove I belong in the finale and guess what, I feel damn fucking good about it. I love her like unbridled confidence over everything, you know? It's like, it's got like shrug confidence. It's like, I'm gonna win this one. That's for sure, I can't. Shrug.

Okay, shrug. Every time I shrug, an angel gets its wings, you know what I'm saying? And the angels are in the shape of peanuts. And Kelsey's like, you know what we say now, the Bama? Be everyone. My God, everyone says that. But thanks, Kelsey. Thanks, Kelsey.

Yeah. So now they're starting to cook. And Michelle is working with Eric. And she's on Lotus Chip Duty and she's like Lotus chips are they're small and some of them are burning and some of them are not I mean just hitting problems but if there is a problem I'll just send my grandma and she'll have someone got the judges yeah because he wants them cut really thick to hold whatever is going on top of them but first of all there's giant holes in lotus chips. That's not going to work. And second, if you use them to thick and

you fry them, they turn black by the time they're cooked all the way on the inside. And she tries to tell, but no one listens to Michelle. Can't imagine why. I don't think that's going to work. Yeah. She's like, I thought I was speaking up. So then Padma walks in. She's like, Chefs, you have one hour left. Make it count. Unlike really anything Gales have ever done on this show. Am I right, everyone? Am I right?

Am I right? So Mimi tastes the biscuit batch. And she's like, oh God, this tastes like baking powder. So they have to make another one. And she's's like I just don't want to fuck up so then Eddie's tasting the exosauce and she's like it's coming in surprise me after we sweet you're gonna have to go back and get another spoon full just figure it out Eddie. That was so fun. It's like oh and then meanwhile so Erica's working on his jerk tartar and Justin keeps him being like,

add more, add more, add more, add more. And I was like, hmm, this makes me nervous. Like, why are you listening to Justin so much? He got booted out, like, follow your instincts. He's doing a beef Tar-Tar with pre-made jerksosh from the store, like, uh, this is top chef, okay. He got jerk, he got jerk paste from the store and he's just kind of adding to that.

And I was like, why isn't Justin giving him shit? Cause even in the store did you catch it when they were shopping in the store, it's just like, look, waffle mix. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So why is this okay for you to use tubes of jerksy?

Yeah, jerksy, jerksy. Yeah. You know what, you're right, bullshit, bullshit. You know what, you're right. Bullshit, bullshit. You know what, Justice was served. And also the beef tartar for top chef. No. Yeah.

So the judges arrive at their table and Padmas like, well, this is the biggest decision we've had to make so far. And honestly, I vote yes. Let's donate Gayl to the zoo. Oh, Kelsey's like, if I go home now, I'll be pissed up. So I thought it was funny. So guess what, Sarah? She's like, all right, everybody, hi.

I'm serving chili prawns with boiled peanuts, because Matatik is on a trip and a car one time. We had some boiled peanuts and some chili prawns. They were like, what a great, they're like great story, sir. The story of her being tripping around. And then Kelsey had to give her a story too. And she tell, you know, they make them tell it 20 times. So it's not really fair to make fun of them, but who cares? This isn't a fair show. Okay, suckers. But Kelsey is just like, I'm doing cornbread and then you pour buttermilk on top of it.

And it was just like grandma's house because every time the girl's grandma's Has she's had some corn bread and put in the cup and then you board some milk over just like a grandma's house I was like okay Yeah, and she's like she's like okay What you have to do is you take that you take the corn bread and you break it up into the buttermilk and how I was like Like this. I'm not sure. I'm not a caveman like a pamas like like this. I'm not sure. I'm not a caveman.

She was like, how do I crumble a cornbread? I'm used to eating things with a fork and knife. You know, like a civilized human being. But thanks for this. A piece of bread over milk. Thanks, Kelsey. I thought she was going to be dead after this. Like cornbread pork.

I mean, buttermilk for whatever cornbread. No honey. I can't. Is this how you'll be, are these the sort of manners you'll be raising your child with? Hmm. My inspiration is grandmails has four o'clock. Her personality is trying to be like the equivalent of a stitched home sweet home pillow, you know, or like a rocking chair outside the cracker barrel.

Yeah. So then Padma's like, oh You have boiled peanuts too Did Sarah's father also take you around in a car for boiled peanuts and shrimp bloody blouse? You must feel so unoriginal right now Does that hurt Sarah? I mean does that hurt? Don again, wow Wow buttermilk over old ideas love it Retred soup delicious Calcy

Wow, I love it when people just throw crap in a bowl over Sarah's ideas Mm-hmm and then care the Caribbean jerk Tardir my story is the transatlantic slave trade and it's like meaningful, you know, because it's meaningful. And sometimes like, hmm, did you mean to marinate this beef like this? He's like so great story. Great story about the transatlantic slave trade slave trade. How long do you marinate this beef? So, you know, it's interesting, using a jerk sauce or, as I like to call it, unappreciative sun sauce, yeah. So Aaron's like, I'll just 10 minutes and I'm gonna say, but those finger limes are so

nice. That's a proper use of fingers with limes, not with buttermilk, Kelsey. So, Miele is like more question over here. Guys, you can see the nerves. You can see the nerves, guys. I was like, who gave Miele like some Adderoth? Like, now. Now, over there, Niele. Padma just looks.

Yeah, you can see the nerves. The Padma goes, of course, you idiot, the finals. Nub. That's her heart. Uh, so we get to judging and Padma's like, um, Eric, I'm impressed. His food has been so interesting. Nileu, here's your opportunity to say, Foo-Foo again. She's like, nope.

Nope, I'm not gonna do it. I don't need to say it. Pamela's like, I love the bottomil milk soup, which is funny because I hate Kelsey. Thankfully, this tastes nothing like Kelsey's terrible personality. I thought for a moment, I just have to mail this off to Gail, let her drink it all. But guess what? I liked it. Sorry gal. All for me this time. So Tom's like great tartar about uh you know too many ingredients. What are you gonna do? And Cram's like yeah and it was well done but well done burnt. So I don't know what that means but there you go. And then um let's see here. And Nelu is like um I guess I really liked Sarah's as well because everyone liked it. She's like, but the texture of the peanuts was a little bit too grainy

And everyone just looked at me like shut up me. Lou. Do we have to have a great. Yeah, grainy. Lou Tom when do we get rid of fake gal? We just throw her into the ocean Hey, Nilo, there's dumplings over in the Pacific here. Let me show you push Hey, Nilo, there's dumplings over in the Pacific. Here, let me show you. Push. So, um, Adma's like, I loved, oh, you already said this. Sorry, she goes, I loved the buttermilk soup. It was a sense memory I didn't have, but I could taste it in her dish. Well, like, Adma's scanning everybody's dish in her robot mouth. I didn't know what I sensed.

I sensed a spoiled little brat that grew up to be a bitch. I hate that girl. This tastes like, do your roots. This tastes like, congratulations. You poured buttermilk in a bowl. So judging. Well, I like knee-loos. I like knee-loos.

Honestly, it just tastes like buttermilk. It tastes like buttermilk. And you know what? I listen like knee-loop. I like knee-loop. It was like, um, honestly, it just tasted like buttermilk. It tasted like buttermilk. And you know what? I listen to knee-loop. As much as we make fun of her, I listen to knee-loop. I just fuck poor buttermilk. I'm just not going to get over this. OK, I'm fine.

I'm not going to get mad at it because I actually believe it's probably delicious. Like, who am I to turn my nose about buttermilk and cornbread? That's kind of fun. It's a finale of top chef. It is the finale. It is the final meal. And you're pouring buttermilk and cornbread. That's got- It's a finale of top chef. It is the finale. It is the final meal and you're pouring buttermilk over biscuits. Count with this.

And I hate that they just dumb it all down because it's southern cooking like, we're so shocked. You know, southern people, they eat things. It's like, yeah. I thought just pig parts and oats. So, I was talking buttermilk and biscuits, okay. There, set it. It's time for commercial.

It's time for a crap and it's commercial. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasive. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Disantel. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions.

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crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering Up. So now Padma finally gets her revenge. Time to eliminate someone and she's Padma grabs me up. She's like, Eric, hand-class on the heart. Please pack your knives and go. Oh, it was a treat to meet you and learn how to make up. Curry incorrectly. Yeah. She's like, please, Eric, pack your knives and go. And please, curry. I mean, hurry. Sorry. Just got away from me there, Eric. And you lose like, congratulations ladies.

One of you is gonna be the next top chef. And you just see it's almost during, I don't know, like, who let the waitress speak? Oh, shit, you're kidding. I'm sorry, you're looking for a mop. That's my line. So Tom's like, well, you know, both of you keep talking about Southern food, for a mop. That's my line. So Tom's like, well, you know, well, both of you keep talking about Southern food,

but the food you cook goes way beyond Southern food. I mean, it is just crazy. So far beyond, I mean, you made Gritz, which is Southern, you know, Southern, pretty standard biscuits, a lot of biscuits. So, you know what, just turn the smoke machine back on and uh Let's just call it a day. How about that? I'm out of things to say it's a finale. See you later Yeah, yeah, I'm just gonna go uh then my son his monthly rent because he can't afford it

Good mixologists so uh Roll tide go big blue and listen to your dad, okay and listen to your dad, okay? My advice. I can't believe it's real. Tom just said, roll, Todd. So there's the, is that the same as rolling, Gale? We've had to do that a few times. So Kelsey's learning, she starts cooking and she's frying

her soft shell crab and she's like, oh my God, this is Gale in because it like starts blowing up. So she asked me for advice and meanie's like, you need batter and Brandy's brand and it's like, oh, I think we need cornmeal and I was like, this is not going to go well. If you don't know how to do a soft shell crab, don't do a soft shell crab, guys. It's a cave. Not mouth time to start new things Yeah, yeah, exactly So Tom and I think Tom and Grant come by now, right?

Don't they come come by to do their inspections and so he's like, yeah, you know Sarah I think you really need to add like maybe like an herbal note to your shrimp So that would be something great and I think at this point or like maybe a few minutes later Sarah's like well, they asked me to add an herbal note. So guess what? I'm gonna add herbs. I figured it out. I like Sarah. She's finally totally warmed up on camera and I like that she makes fun of the whole process of I'm greeting for Sarah. You co-sarero, okay? I like rooting for three different ones. I was rooting for either one, all three of them to be honest. I liked all three of them quite a bit.

Well, Eric's gone now, so I'm rooting for Sarah, okay? Fine. Let me root for who I want to root for. Yeah, so yeah, so then Tom and Grant and Telecalci to add like crab to her buttermilk, so they're like, okay, it's just okay, fine. So I didn't even Calci's make her famous biscuit, which was foreshadowed early in the season when she's making biscuits in the oven And someone might turn off the oven she's like who turned off the oven all my biscuits and I think it was the tall guy

I'm biscuits. Oh my god. You're really going all out. He'll see Listen, I appreciate a good biscuit. So now it's back at the hotel and they're shotgunning bureaus which is classic Sarah very very Sarah And then they go to dinner at Ajee and Things like that. They're just like talking. It's like one. It's like filler scenes of like wow We made it this far and oh my god. This food's delicious yadi yadi yadi, you know Yeah, and I have to add it to Kelsey because at least she's helpful where she's like this is delicious I'm a little freaked out because I'm about to serve buttermilk and biscuits.

Yeah, exactly. So now it's the next day and it's like cooking, cooking, cooking, etc. And now should we just get right to them serving the food? Yeah, sure. I mean, really all I wrote is judges. Padma crazy perm. Padma crazy perm. I mean really all I wrote is judges had my crazy per per second Pad my crazy perm Nealude today is the day somebody becomes top chef. Yeah, it's fast forward. Yeah, fast

Today is the day So Kelsey serving up so she serves her cornbread and buttermilk again and The chefs like it. There's like a lady there from food in one magazine She's like I want there from Food and One magazine. She's like, I want the textural differences. I don't know why I felt like writing that down. I think I just want them to excuse to speak with an accent. Yeah. She didn't love it.

She's like, it's a little bit too nuanced for me, but the textural differences. Oh, lovely. And I was like, no, you know, very successful. I'm like, any of my spawn. So that's great. And Brandon's like, hey, Kelsey, do you want these oysters ice cold or room temperature? And she's like, um, cold. If this is one minute over, we're screwed. It'll be good.

And I was like rooting for the peat lamp. Cause now it's like sports. So I'm like, sir, sir, sir. Yeah. So she's been serves like French oysters and Vichy swas and a she's like and this is something that we in the South call a cheese straw I'm like I'm pretty sure that's a universal thing. It's like a cheese straw. Yeah, it's like to find the cheesy it's like this is a finale Nilo Nilo likes that Kelsey did back-to-back soft delicate nuance dishes. Oh, yeah, Nilo. That's not that not something we see around here What was Gail hanging around? Oh wait, you're Nilo. Never mind And Nilo is like well Calcy really had the confidence to do back-to-back very soft Very light. I mean this one really didn't require that much cooking and the first one

I mean it was buttermilk port over bread. So Congratulations very nuanced. It was buttermilk port over bread. So congratulations very nuance very nuance you went from Putting bread and buttermilk to serving us something raw Lot of nuance there. I have nuance, but man. They love that they loved her oyster They did and the Vissis so ah and that one that one chef who I think he was a chef from Ajie was like This is one of the best dishes I've had this year You know, I love by the way one of the I don't I don't write anyone's names One of the the guest judges was like an older dude older Asian guy with sort of like longer hair

I loved him he should be a guest on the show all the time. I love how sick this yeah, he would always shake a fair like Yeah, I've had enough to see that hair not shaked, but he would be like oh Here's how I feel about it Listen everyone can stop discussing. I have the ultimate opinion. Uh-huh. Yeah, he's the type of guy to go to a restaurant and shake his hair every time he has to talk and then complain about their being hair in his soup.

But he likes speaks with extreme authority, so you're like, I really believe everything he says right now. Yeah. So the next things come out, and let's see, the English lady is like, I found this problematic because you do dip it. What's you do? How much is this easy? You don't dip it. Oh, they're talking about the crap crap. The stuff that the crab came with like two different stars. There's no instructions. He's so confusing. I mean, I see a source, and I see something that does not have sauce on it, and I have a fork and a knife,

am I supposed to just dip something that doesn't have sauce on it in sauce? Is that how that works? And Kelsey's like, don't be frightened, touchin' it! Ha ha ha! And then, and then Pam, like before Kelsey's last course, Pam, because,

Kelsey, there's only one course left. And then I never have to see your face again. Bye. Oh. Um, so Tom's like, well, you know, that soft shell crab. Uh, to me, that's just frozen soft shell crab. And the head shake guys like, yeah, we don't have soft shell crab here. That's not, I don't have it.

It's from the freezer. And that's like, you know, again, you're going to serve frozen soft shell crab at the finale. I mean come on. Yeah Time it goes for me. There is too much acid and beans plus Kelsey is uniquely terrible. Am I right everyone? So Kelsey's like well that crab dish went my best work and I know it this dessert has to wow so Let's see Sarah, uh, serves, wait, Sarah, Sarah's work. Sarah's coming into the kitchen.

Yeah. Sarah's coming into the kitchen to start preparing while Kelsey is like getting her dessert ready. And Sarah's like, knock me doing a dessert and Kelsey's like, I've been really nervous to make dessert against me too. Shut up, Kelsey. I like you, but shut up. So Kelsey serves a peach cobbler, like a deconstructed peach cobbler. Yeah, and One of my favorite things about home is far stand when the beaches start to go bad my mom made a cobbler

I'm like, oh sounds delicious Kelsey bad peaches Yeah, and then when the plates come out and you lose like ooh canals shut up Nilo you know what they are quiet in the corner fake gal yeah be quiet gal not listen anything that's in the shape of a dumpling gets this one excited yeah Am I right, everyone? Quiet, poof, poof, poof. So, having this like, so then, this is a love letter to Peach Cobbler. Or to Peach is a cream. And then Neelie's like, there was something brilliant to this,

but that honeysuckle ice cream melting, kind of hit the flavors for me. Shut up, Nilo. Just have much just like just berating Nilo at any chance, but she has to be nice to gal because of all the years, but she's new and she's like, fuck this one. I was trying to have my good friend, Lena Wade as our judge, but apparently Nilo is what's going on now. Yeah, so Sarah's screwed, because she's like, I gotta come here and done the same thing.

I always do scratch my butt, drink a beer, and throw some grits on a plate, but I decided to do something completely different, something I've never done before. And that takes guts, it takes will, it takes goddamn fucking bacon. What the hell's wrong with this? Hi, yeah, like just lost this whole fucking window.

I'm just gonna put it back in. I'm just gonna bring a giant thing of fosters out to the table and poke a hole in it and make them all shotgun out of it. And meanwhile, while Kelsey, but before Kelsey's done, Padma's like, Kelsey, are you happy with your meal? Cause honestly, it tasted like shit.

And so she starts making a speech about like, come move far start choking up and everything. And then Nileu like awkwardly reaches out to like comfort Sarah by like clasping her arm. And that's just like, oh God, one awful person touching another awful person. Great. Glad we flew across the world for this. Two apples don't make a non-offal.

Uh, and Kelsey's like, yeah, I mean, I got him real far. You know, the sun cram all the house. Drink with some buttermilk, all the way to the bed. Just see Grandpa there coming in the turn into the mix. It's like, shut up. Get rid of her. Get ex her. So now it's time for Sarah to serve her meal.

And Sarah has another great way of pitching her meal. Okay, she's just told us like, hey, she's everything up, up, fucked up the bacon. So now she goes, she's like, I decided to do something different. You know what I hated the most is a kid, black eyed peas and beets. I mean, disgusting.

So I'm gonna use them in my finale dish. It's like, great, wait a sec at the stage for everyone. I was like, please don't say that to the judges. And it's like, hi judges, guess what I hate, black eyed peas and peas. Here you go, black eyed peas and peas. Oh my God.

Yeah. So she, yeah, so her first course, she serves her prawns and peanuts again. And the second course is like bacon and corn with razor clams. And Pam was like, the baby corn. Did you salt them in some salted water? It was just gales tears, which I'd be totally down with.

So one of the guys is like, I love the taste of peanut water. It reminds me of my father. I was like, OK, don't you start, too. OK? Yes. I'm doing this doing that guy. So, yeah, so then they're talking about like the bacon being incredibly salty in the second course.

And then on top of that, to make matters worse, Tom's like, yeah, and then the saffron, like the saffron doesn't even need to be here. Like Nilo. Am I right, everyone? Am I right? And Sarah's like, God, I get way too much info with that whole hated is a kid thing I everyone has a bad heritage I mean what's fucking gonna do about it you know yeah yeah so she serves those pickled

beats and blackout peas with some duck and she serves it and then she walks away and and then they're just like talking about it that They like the duck but they want some more pickled beads. There's like a mixed review on that duck, but Sarah goes back and I don't know if you notice this, Ronnie, but Sarah goes back to the kitchen. She goes, they loved it. You weren't even there. You weren't even in the room. Yeah, they loved it.

They loved it. Oh God. So the last course is a play on dirty rice, right? So dry, dried rib eyes and some shiitake broth and mushrooms. My mom would take dirty rice and then she'd smush chicken guts into it. And so I was like, oh my God, you need to work on your pitching. I think this would have gone so much better if Sarah pitched her food better and didn into it. And I was like, oh my God, you need to work on your pitching. I think this would have gone so much better if Sarah pitched her food better and didn't cry.

I found a way to cry about something. I love some crying. Exactly, and that was like, Sarah, this is the last course you'll be cooking on top, chef. Would you like to take this opportunity to slap Nelou? Please, go ahead. She's like, yeah, yeah, I'm in a small town and not much is happening.

Sometimes you just beat up children because I'm mean, what the fuck else? She's got the idea. So it was great to come here. I was fine. I'll tell her if that was different. I'm used to sleeping with my dad's car a lot. So this was great.

That's enough Sarah. Enough, enough. Please, you're not famous. Go. Go. So this is great. That's enough Sarah enough enough Please You're not famous go go and you lose like new is like I don't miss dessert one bit Good because of Galber here. She would have eaten it anyway I'm really says the thing that I hate most of all Mike drop I Mean that's like only second to just saying. I hate just saying. Okay.

How about a drop in you office building? That's a nice job drop. Let me do the honors. Hey, Neely, there's a dumpling on the edge of this building go fetch. So the chefs talk about it and bring them back in and Then start giving them the business and the admins like chefs regardless of what happens here today I just blew a taco on Instagram Regardless of what happens here today chefs. I think we can all agree that Neelu is terrible, right? Am I right everyone? Am I right? Who's worse? Nile were gale. Trick question. They're both awful. Kelsey, did your first course come out how you wanted? Kelsey's like, yep, sure me in and he's like, well, the dish was more flavorful than last time

and the one negative thing was that cornbread. I mean, it crumpled better yesterday. Also is cornbread. You thing was that cornbread. I mean, it crumbled better yesterday. Also, it was cornbread. You served as fucking cornbread Kelsey. Were the tortillas busy Kelsey? Could you not find bread crumbs? Yeah. Oh, so then the second course, Kelsey's like, I love oysters.

And Tom's like, yeah, that soup was a perfectly seasoned, no negative. You know, that's super you know perfectly seasoned no negative You know that guy with the shaky hair said I was his favorite food of the season and the year I mean whoa well And then Sarah for your second course Where did that saffron come from because I'm gathering it wasn't from Kentucky Am I right everyone am I right? Kentucky can you believe we didn't hold season there? Oh my God. Sure. She'd six out of her tongue. Just a thing where she

sticks out her tongue. She's like, wow, I read about it in some books and you know, I read about some books in Kentucky and they say they really liked it. So I just figured I put it on there. So now it's the third course and you know,'s like, oh you know, Sarah, you just, uh, you need something to tie that dish together. You know, like, I don't know the ties. I feel like the way like a family has bonds from generation to generation and then sometimes a, someone and the generations will just stick to finger up in the face of all those family bonds and decided to become

exologist. You know what I'm saying? And Sarah's like yes, Sarah, which was a funny answer. And then Pat and I was like Sarah, did the crab come out how you wanted? And she's like, well, I struggled and she says, yeah. Yeah, that's been an ongoing theme for you, Kelsey. You do struggle. Kelsey, I'm sorry. I said, sir. But they were talking about Kelsey's soft boiled or, yeah, soft shell crab. And she's like, did that come out like you want? And she's like, oh, struggle? She's like, yeah. I mean, I didn't need more oil. You fried it almost too much. And then put more oil on it, which it was already oiled because that's what you fried things in Kelsey. Am I right?

I mean, I guess we shouldn't be too surprised. It is Kelsey. We're talking about. Am I right? Everyone? Lessor hard. Greasy Kelsey. So Padma's like, okay, Sarah's last course. And Sarah's like, well, I was happy with it. What are you going to do, you know? And Tom says, you're perfect. That was near perfect. Almost like my family tree. And Graves, like to go against dessert, you didn't do dessert and you nailed it. You nailed it, girl. Kelsey, did you do your dessert that didn't quite nail it,

come out the way you wanted it, trick question, we all hated it. Tom's like, whoa, deconstructed cobbler, that is risky. Wow. And Neil is like, the honey deconstructed cobbler, that is risky. Wow. And Neil is like, the honey suckle almost took away from that peach flavor. It's a peach taste like peach. Honey suckle tastes like honey suckle.

It's just like, it's just too much for me. I just don't know. No. And my challenge is the honey suckle. My challenge is your face, Neilu. Get out of here. Oh. So then Padden, they kicked them out. And

Padden was like, they're from a similar place, but their meals were so different. And there would be millions of little girls who will see how you've grown and come from home and made it all the way over here. And we're still terrible, still terrible. I actually cried at that part. I was trying to skip it because I totally have squirties all over my nose. So sweet of you, Ronnie. I cried for weird things. She's like, then old girls everywhere.

We'll look at you and say, thank God, Gels not here this season. I was like, no, it's beautiful. So they talk about the final judging and they kind of repeat themselves. Yeah. It's basically, yeah, they love the, they love Sarah's first and last courses. Newly can't stop thinking about a Kelsey's oysters and you love Sarah's soup. They were just, yeah, they all love this stuff. And then Pam is like, Kelsey's third chorus felt like an appetizer.

Not an entree. Gail would be pissed. Did you guys hear that noise? Bill would just want like this. You go right over there, buddy. He's having a dream. He's having a gail dream. He's like,

so yeah, she didn't think Filler was enough progression. And Tom's like, yeah, but she didn't think the filler was enough progression. And Tom's like, yeah, but she gave us three great decisions and, you know, I'm conflicted. But she did cry and Sarah basically opens up your teeth. So, I don't know, who do we want to do the commercials for the next year?

Yeah. So now it's the final, yeah. Says the final judgment. And Tom's like, chefs, you know, we all grew up with dreams in our heads And if we're lucky we get to pursue those dreams and if we're more fortunate those dreams can come true And then the rest of us are just mixologists, I guess It's like without that guiding hand you don't follow those dreams and with a guiding hand

You become a spoiled little brat. You never mess anything. So what are you gonna do? You know, the parenting is hard little brat who never massed anything so what are you gonna do you know parenting is hard someone wins tonight and someone goes home to their dad's car to eat some boiled peanuts sounds still not delicious so Papa yeah and like Kelsey discussed me to say this your top chef I guess if Hosea can do it, you can do it too. So there's like cheers and clapping and all this stuff. And then Paman walks up to Serengos. I'd like to give you a hug only because this counts as my charity for the year.

Here, hug. You're welcome in advance. I get a tax credit on that. I was like, how the giant bean bag. A bean bag. Bean bag filled with poor crimes. Am I right, Sarah? So Nilo is like, girl, Kelsey, he grew balls like no one's business. I mean buttermilk. Well. So then, I guess I'm just like I'm just like turns that you don't even need

balls thanks for renewing the feminist agenda of Nilo thanks for trying to hold us back in Macau me Nilo so then Kelsey's like we see Kelsey go home and see see her child for the first time the kids like who the fuck are you? You know and then it ends by say her going well, I don't think anyone will ever say I'm an underdog again Just saying and I was like that is a perfect fucking end to a Kelsey win just saying I Was a Kelsey fan all along. I'm not gonna lie. Nope, but I'd like how much you hated her Because that's the fun about these shows. I was like, the way I had an irrational hate for Eddie, even though he was like perfectly nice and lovely

and really talented. But I just was like, always furious from that one episode and then just mad going forward. That's what reality TV is about. You know, sometimes you just pick your favorites and you stick with them even when logic and reason dictates otherwise. Yeah, guys, reality TV where you lose friendships.

Yeah, I had a dream that I was actually trying to explain that concept to Camille Grammar last night. So let's move on to real houses of Atlanta. Oh, so I almost pressed a stop button. I forgot where you're doing that. Oh, all right. Come on in Atlanta. I know.

Well, you know, the thing is this, Ron and I were flying back yesterday. I'm like, let's just do light notes on Atlanta, because it's going to be Eva's wedding episode. So it's just going to suck. And you're like, you never know, but I think deep down we both knew, no, it's going to suck. Well, I guess what? Well, I think it's suck for me. I thought it was super fun. But it is when we get to skip over a lot of stuff because it's like, oh my god, finally, the day is here. The love of my life is

marrying me in a party room with the Marriott. the day is here. The love of my life is marrying me in a party room with the Marriott. Yeah, I think the biggest takeaway for me is that I've decided that I that I really like Shamari because she's the only one having fun this season. Yeah, she's just getting wasted every episode out. Yeah, Shamari. Well, that's what she do at a wedding reception, okay? And that's what you do at a party. I don't care. I'm not mad at Shamari for getting wasted. These people are so hypocritical. Yeah, totally. So yeah, the episode opened up with Shamari going to swag, a boutique to give a bottle of change from me and to Nini. She basically was like kissing the ring. And she's like, I know I'm on the fringes of this of this show. So I'm just going to kiss ass with

the biggest star. And hopefully, that'll be enough to get me on for another season. Yeah. And Mimi, you know, Mimi plans on going to the wedding with her because they're both going to be dateless. And then we see Eva getting ready for her wedding. They have like a big special room for everybody to get ready. Yeah. And then she gets her mom.

She makes this really lovely personalized handkerchief that has like a like a dedication to her mom, like an ode to her mom. She makes this really lovely personalized handkerchief that has like a dedication to her mom, like an ode to her mom. And I was like, that's really nice, but you realize that that that's designed for you to like blow us not into right? Yeah, who gets their mother a hanky for a wedding present? How much money did your mother just spend on this wedding? Okay. And you just gave her a hanky? Also, you gotta know that things have gone awry, that they're not even bothering with the rehearsal dinner. They're just going to write you the wedding.

They're like, they're not even, they're like, let's just get this over with, okay? Yeah, I think they were bored too. Yeah. So the hanky says, to my mom, to my mom, today I brought tomorrow a wife, always your daughter and a friend for life. So the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the I'm literally crying and stonts coming out. Do I use this or a paper towel because that's the equivalent to the gifts You just gave me okay. Yeah, it's like this sheet like hang up that handkerchief and then it's like why is there a handkerchief

That's hung up. Yeah, she's like a whether no clothes lines in the store Whether no paper towels that you could have given me I mean jeez like a koozie Just on a koozie be much more useful mom. Here's a hairbrush Thank Just on a cozy be much more useful mom. Here's a hairbrush So then Samia calls Neenie because they're all getting ready to go to the wedding and Marry me Samari. Oh dammit. I can't I have to stop writing down sham It's like once I get one thing in my head is there forever So Samari calls her and she's like are you still gonna pick me up? And she's like, I don't know if I can even go to this wedding because me and Greg are having a fight

No, no, no, my okay here we go. Yeah, welcome back. Neenie you took one episode off And now you're gonna make someone else's wedding episode about yourself Exactly Exactly so then Shamari calls up Tanya's like hey, um, do you mind if I ride? Hey, um, do you mind if I rob a yes? Yes, yes, oh my god Oh Gather yeah, we'll have some cocktails and some champagne. Yeah, I'm bringing a boasting grill into the car Oh my god, I'm just full of shrimp into your mouth

right here Oh I have to give Tony a the award for best FaceTime posture though because did you notice Tanya in FaceTime? She's like, yes! She's like perfect! That's a new category in the crappies. That's, it's Tanya. So then Candy and Todd are getting ready and Cynthia and Chille show up to go with them.

Yeah, and basically nothing. Eva told them, Eva told them, Candy's like, of course, just like talking about the food. She's excited about the food. And basically Eva told everyone it's a thousand dollars per head and Candy's like, hey, no, really, like, I got married and it was was like only five dollars ahead and I had everything. Yeah, it's pretty funny. And I do. Talkers. Yeah. And she still spent much money. And Tom's like, whoa, they should have just called

the old lady getting the cater. Yeah. The cater. The cater girls together. The cater girls ride chair. So the little drama here is that in the wake of the closet situation, it seemed like last week things were going in the right direction. They were like candy up texted, uh, uh, Neemie and, like, so sorry, and Neemie was a cool little thing.

And then Porsche was going to reach out to Neemie, whatever. And they had talked about this all in front of Marlo. So apparently Marlo went and told Nini about the conversation they all had at lunch, which was like a totally benign and uninteresting conversation. But of course Marlo spends a descent on like totally like devias and nasty. So then Nini called up, he can't even want any answers.

I'm gonna take a scuss and yada yada yada. So there's like a little bit of kerfuffle going on. Well, why would you talk in front of Marlo? You know she's gonna do that. You know, why even go to lunch with Marlo? Why have I Marlo anywhere? That's my question. Yeah, why Marlo?

Why Marlo? The Marlo again is one of the few people who's actually bringing anything to the season. So, accept her life. I mean, whatever. So then arrivals, basically we see everybody arriving. And then Nini comes in, everybody's already sat, the wedding's a little bit late starting because Nini,

you know, so she comes in as the star of the wedding. She's wearing a, like Danny Pellegrino online was like, as Nini wearing a Lymphinity dress because it was like black in the front but right on the back. It was a Liam Lockin. Could you imagine? It's me. It's me. It looked like, I mean, I didn't mind the dress at all, but it did reminded me

of like, like a Dean of Arts and Sciences at graduation where they wear like a row, but they have like some sort of like banner that goes around the front and then hangs off the back. I was like, that's where my mind was at. This is what I was thinking about when I was watching the show. Really, I was thinking, oh, gee, Mimi's coming in right before the bride. Typical, at least she didn't come in after, you know,

baby steps. So yeah, so Michael gives a very lovely, he gives his vows, they're very, very lovely. Everyone's crying. And by the way, Eva's dad, so cute, he gives his vows, they're very, very lovely. Everyone's crying. And by the way, Eva's dad's so cute, he was like bawling, I love him. So then, so now, so Michael's giving this perfectly lovely speech, and then Marlowe's like rubbing Nini's arm, you know, and like, I know like for sure, Nini and Greg are going through legitimate, like real hardship and everything.

But it bothered me that like when when Eva was reading her vows that we had all these intercuts between like Greg and Nini's vows. Like, can you just like letter half her vows? I mean, even though Eva's boring, can we like, it's still her wedding. Does it have to be? Yeah, I'm not. They're like, remember that time, Nini pretended to leave Greg so she could get a wedding special. But not touching. Let's watch that again. Cynthia is like, The entire time I forgot I was even

at a wedding because I was just imagining me being up there and marrying Will so we could become cheer. I was like, is anyone paying attention to Eve at this wedding? And I was like, I was Cynthia ended that because she's like, how's picture in my own wedding? And it was beautiful. Like literally everyone at that wedding is like not even paying attention to Eve, they're just thinking about themselves. she's like, how's Picshane my own wedding? And it was beautiful. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Like literally everyone at that wedding

is like not even being attention to it, you know, they're just thinking about themselves. Time, it's like, oh, see about my hip-hop change. Yeah. Oh. So then, Meanie gets all upset. Like, she's gonna leave. Is this where she walks out to leave?

I mean, it's like the whole second half show was her like, like, threatening to walk out. And we learned that she had been tweeting about Greg and she's tweeting things like, when people are sick, is it an excuse for them to be mean? I remember they just pop up all these mean tweets about me and he's like, I'm out of here. I'm leaving Greg. So Samari asked her about it. She's like, so has it going? I saw something on Twitter about you saying people are sick and is that causing issues? You think? Because she's got like millions of Twitter followers

and she's going off today. I mean, she's like, yeah, she's like, oh, I'm sorry, I don't want to talk about it. Don't cry, don't cry. Marlow's like, don't make her cry, no. I was like, well, you're about to try and make her cry and have a fight at a wedding, Marlo. Yeah, exactly.

And then, like, Candy and Portia, or talk about Nini, because also the other thing that happened was that I think at one point, I think it was at Candy or was in a Portia called someone, probably a producer, who was still at Nini's house after the closet thing, and Nini was in the background and being like, to tell those two bitches that if they come out, I'm gonna get whatever. She was yelling, branching in the background. So now, Ken, D'Importia sort of upset that Nini was calling her bitches,

which I actually am like, that's, I mean, she's mad. I don't know, I don't think it was like the worst thing in the world, you know? So they were talking about that off to the side. And Marlow joins, like, I'm gonna get Nini. I'm gonna get Nini. They're like, no, no, okay. Yeah, and the, the candy the candy is like what exactly did you say because I don't think that you repeated what we said in the same way that we said it Okay, it sounds like you were being a dick or something and she goes well all I said

For a bit um is the candy's never seen you that aggressive and then candy had to stand between you guys because you're so aggressive and she's like Jesus Christ and the way Porsche fits it. She says I'm just saying why can't you let us have that My love's like all I said was that they called you the seawork and said you were the worst person and a Terrible actress and you're probably not the normal yeah, you you can fire from every job on TV you've ever had. That's all I said. They're like, no. No. Oh, so yeah.

So by the way, so Greg, the thing that happened with Nini is that like right before the wedding, she, Greg had talked about separating. This is what she like tells. I don't even remember if she's telling the girls or she's tomorrow or I think Cynthia. And based, yeah, so Greg had like talked about separating right before the wedding, which is why she's so rattled. And she's like, Greg is so mean.

And like I just can't be talked to you that way. I'm like, well, first of all, you're the one who's tweeting this shit out. He's dying of cancer. Well, he's not dying, but he's battling cancer. And like, you know what, like if Neenie went off the walls He's dying of cancer. Well, he's not dying, but he's he's he's battling cancer and Like you know what like if Neenie went off the walls two episodes ago and wants people to like be chill about it

Chill, chill, so like he's so like let him go crazy too, okay? Because he's the one who's actually fighting cancer. Yeah. And she's like, but I look like the bad guy. And then, you know, he's always doing this stuff and he's the bad guy, but then he's fine just letting me take the rap for it and looking like the bad guy. I'm like, you're the bad guy, I'm sorry. Okay. And let's do some hidden video footage of Greg being a monster. You are the bad guy.

Okay, that's all I've seen so far is you being the bad guy. And if I'm not supposed to forgive you, because your husband's sick, then we're gonna forgive Greg too, like he said. Yeah. I'm with you. I mean, I believe that Greg is probably being like really bitchy right now. I totally believe that. And I also totally empathize that being a caretaker is like emotionally exhausting. I just think that Neenie though is, I don't know, I think she's wrong. Neenie is Neenie. Neenie is Neenie, which is wrong at all times. The tweeting, the tweeting is like not a good look, I don't know, I think she's wrong. I just can't. Neenie is Neenie. Which is wrong at all times. The tweeting is like not a good look, I think, in a marriage when someone's like going

through the battle of their life. Yeah. So then Marlow gets them all together and Neenie's like, are we really doing one time I agree with Neenie? She's like, are we really doing this at a wedding? This is so tacky. You guys want to stage a fight at a wedding seriously? Yeah.

Meanwhile, Eva comes down to stairs in her like famous reception dress. She's like, here it is. It's a dress that I want everyone to remember. And it's on screen for like all like one second and all of her cast members are in a hallway instead. Yeah. And I didn't write down one even though this is not sad. Like from now on, I didn't even write.

I don't even know that Eve is there, frankly. She's not even there. So the women are now all talking in the hallway and he needs doing that face where she's like, like she's like gonna, a locked in, I roll and go. Yeah, she's like, I'm just barely living up with this, I'm just barely,

but it's like a very showy, I don't't care which means that you do care face, you know, uh, and So Marla starts it off and they're like no, no, no Marla. Okay, you've already twisted our words to me That sound like shit and Porsche says I just wanted to talk to her on my own terms and can he's like I just felt that your Delivery was off because all I was trying to do was diffuse the situation, okay? And Nini's like, oh, and Candy said I felt like your delivery was off, you know, maybe we're a little aggressive and Nini's like aggressive It's the wrong word I feel. You know that's the calm that Nini gives before she uses it. Yeah

See tells us what do you mean you want to talk to me about my behavior? No, no, no, no, no, bitch. I need to talk to you about your bad behavior. So then she goes on her whole thing, which we've heard five times in the past couple of weeks because of what happens live and her online and everything. She's like, you don't go into somebody's house and disrespect somebody's home. And last year, you know, I had a problem with someone going into my bathroom and saying it was Roch infested, which was the big drama last year. And then they, the shady editors showed the video

of the bugs in the bathroom. That was funny. Good, real call back. And she's like, and I don't want a video on my dirty ass closet. My closet was dirty. And they're like, we all get that. But the thing is, Portia said that she called somebody and that you're calling those bitches in the background and saying, you don't know how it's going to be when you see us.

And then Marlos was like, mm-hmm, like I didn't hear that. Marth. Yes. At which point, you then decide to just like, she's like, okay, I'm going to spin this around. She's like, listen, don't tear me down. I need you to rally, I need you to support me. I need you to support me. Rally around me, rally around me. It's like, listen, don't tear me down. I need you to rally. I need you to support me. I need you to support me. Rally around me. Rally around me. It's through that support me, which I think is a fine request. But also, don't forget when Marlow showed up to your

house and you wouldn't even let her in the house. And she drove, she canceled her beauty appointment for you. Neemee. Well, by rally, she means just stand there and take it, you know, which, sorry, no. And that whole argument of, you don't tell someone how to act in their own house. Oh, yeah, yeah, you do. When they're screaming and yelling at you and like, you know, getting violent, yeah, you tell them to calm down.

Like, I don't know where you heard that rule or why you're so steadfast to that rule of, you know, polite behavior, it's weird. I'm not taking like classes from Mimi on how to be polite. Yeah, so they all, it's like all hugs and tears and candy says she feels so terrible about doing that. So it's all good. I mean, obviously, it's such a stupid argument

in the first place. So they actually manage to squash it pretty well. And they're like, okay, now Neenie, it's time for you to do your toast. Cause she's like, oh, I don't know if I can do it. I can't even do it. I can't even, oh, I can't, I oh, I can't I can't I can't do the toast Like do the toast so they go after the toast and then they like they find like Shemari in the hallway

Neenie I'm here. I'm here Neenie. Neenie is like this one again So Neenie's speech is like Resids are read by that you believe you're wedding stupid. Okay. I'm leading by congratulations. This bullshit Okay, you're gonna pay my appearance fee for this bike. Yeah her speech that she was like I don't know if I can even do this She's like reading off a single index card. It looks like, but maybe it's slightly larger than a index. But it was not like it was like pages. First of all, she didn't memorize it, which is like, and then second of all, it's like,

if it could all fit on an index card, like let's skip the draw, but I don't know if I can do it. Like it's gonna be two minutes long. And you're right, it was just like, it was like, you know, marriages are tough sometimes, but you've got to support people, okay, and then don't walk into their closet when you don't want them to be in there, okay, bye. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Eva's moving to a new house, right after where she got back from her,

which is actually a very, but very patomic style argument to be like, wait, she's moving, as soon as she got back from her honeymoon. Hmm. There's something. Very kind of googger, very kind googger. Will the ring doorbell come into this,

this episode? Or this series like it did for the delivery? I can't believe it. I'm not bringing it to the end of Watchwell crap. This week's bonus episode is a breakdown of the Potomac trailer. So go listen to that. Drop it in a nice big long, or we're going to do a nice big long recap of that because we love that show.

We're going to do that right now. We're going to have an announcement this week about our new city. In the meantime, go get tickets at watchwotcrapants.com for Portland, Phoenix, Boston. I think only has five, I think they have like five VIP tickets left. So yeah, that's Boston. I think there was something. Yeah, to say there's only five tickets left in Boston. Yeah.

And then we have a new shirt coming out Wednesday. It's real housewives of Beverly Hills theme. So you're only going to be able to get your Lewand stuff for this week. And then it's out of there to make way for the new real housewives of Beverly Hills shirts. New ringers are going up tomorrow. So if you need some new ringtones there's gonna be tons of new ringtones. It's time to fill you up on some ringtones. So grow that stuff, go to patreon.com slash watch what crap and so for all those links, go to watch what crap and dot com you guys.

God. If you want to watch this video and if you want to watch some of our recaps, you're doing two recaps a week on TV Party app and they're, they have a live replay or not a live replay, but a replay on Crappin's On Demand over on Patreon. Everybody, thank you so much for being here. We sure love you. Yeah, fun times, y'all. Just tomorrow. Thank you. Hey, prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself

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