Watch What Crappens - Top Chef: Symphoneat

Episode Date: April 28, 2020

Top Chef goes to the symphony so Tom can try to come up with some musical puns, and two chefs are sent packing. We're not happy about it. For the entire season of Netflix' Tiger King recaps with Crappens On Demand videos for epis 2-7, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. We covered all seven parts of Netflix' Tiger King on our Patreon feed, and have video recaps for six of those episodes on Crappens On Demand! **New merch! Isolate and BenRon 2020 Vote Hypocrat designs available at crappensmerch.com **Crappens Live has been postponed until our country is healthy again. Keep up with our live show calendar at at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors! The Bay Area Betches!

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Kids, what happens when they're so loud and rapids? Hello and welcome to Watch What Happens! The podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about on Yo Broms! Happy Monday everybody! It's me Ronnie and over there's Ben, hi Ben. Hi how's it going? Good, how's it going? Oh just fab, just fab. Yeah well welcome to Top Chef Day everybody you can find me over on the RosePrix Bachelor Roast podcast which is currently covering listen to your heart and Ben can be found

on the Game Brain podcast and also through Real Housewares of Kitchen Island, which is a cartoon on YouTube Buzz to go watch it everybody. Yeah, so like we said today's top chef super excited a couple things to get out of the way You can watch our videos crap and it's on demand, okay? If you'd rather watch your video recap so do a couple of week and Sometimes we live stream live shows. Super fun. So thanks to everybody who joins that. We love doing those. Our bonus episodes for this month are the Tiger King.

We did the whole season. So go over to Patreon for those. And you can get shirts, isolate shirts, vote Ben Ron 2020, which is looking better every day. It's looking like a more feasible option every day. And small business shout out. So a lot of you have small businesses and in these crazy times,

we are gonna shout you out here on this show, Ben. What do you have today? Today I've got Mary Armstrong. And let's see what Mary Armstrong says. She's doing a small business shout out for her best friend, his name is Sarah, who owns a cleaning company in Tulsa called I clean it and The I clean is like all one word like I Carly or I'm act. It's I clean space in she does residential and commercial and you can find her on Facebook under I clean it She's amazing and very professional and Mary could gush about her all day, but she'll spare us. Okay

Anyway, oh Mary is a nurse and she says she can take all the distraction she could she can get and she would have been at our Oklahoma City show if it wasn't for good old Rona So Mary, thank you so much for all the amazing work you're doing as a nurse and like being out there in the front lines as well as all the other nurses and essential workers that are out there. So thank you so much Mary for all you're doing and also um thank you for shouting out Sarah and I clean it. And also thank you to all the princesses out there okay if you're in Portland or again maybe you've heard of Elsa okay our name is Elsa she's from frozen um her real name is Kristen, and by day, she's a high school teacher, and she says,

so as you may have heard, that means I make approximately a dollar a year, but she's also a musical theater performer and supplements her income with a business where she performs as Elsa at Frozen, part-house, and events. And she does it freelance, but she is really good. She's a musical theater girl, okay, and she has training at standards and there's no parties right now Obviously, so she's doing it virtually. She's Elsa live in Zoom calls Which is amazing or cameo style videos for kids. She only charges five bucks a video call and she's partnering with a local restaurant

They're in Portland so that 50% of her proceeds go towards providing meals for hospital workers and first responders. The business is called Parties with Princess Kristen and she can be reached for details and bookings. Let's see. That's great. You can Instagram. She's at christen.m. dot m dot alak alaarcon, I would say alaarcon, A-L-A-R-C-O-N, that's Kristen.

K-R-I-S-T-I-N, dot m dot alakon, or you can email her at Elsa of Aeron Dell, to 17 at gmail.com. Oh, that's totally dope. I bet kids would like that. And you know what, I'm just gonna add one more. Just this is one of a personal one

My boyfriend Dominique has been helping out with this new thing called Broadway babysitters club Which is one of his friends started up. She was in SpongeBob the musical and like a million other things and Basically it goes on for about I think about half an hour where it's like this zoom session where your kids can learn dance moves from like Broadway people and like Titus Burgess was on it and everything. So I think I'm pretty sure he was. So but Dom has been consistently teaching kids how to do fun little dances. He did like some sort of apples and bananas song this week which he taught me the choreo

for. It's like if you can do it, then the kids can do it. And guess what? I could do it. So, yeah, check that out. I don't know where to check it out, but maybe on his Instagram or something. But yeah, if you have kids you want to do some dancing once a week, that's also a good little thing.

Well, there you go, everybody. So, thanks for sending those in and go support your small businesses Needy, nitty times we live in yeah And now let's get on to some top chef some top chef. Yeah, let's move on from some nutty nutty times to some nutty nutty aftertaste Am I right flavors? That was my friends last That's your flavor trans. Yeah, thanks. I just thought I'd try to take it to like a culinary place. I did a lot of cooking this weekend, actually. I have to say. So this, you know, I actually really enjoy doing top chef on

Mondays because usually in the weekends, I've done something crazy like cook some sort of mad meal for the fun of it. So I'm like, food is very top of mind for me at the moment. Food is always top of mine for me, Ben. I know. And take it as if it's like a revolutionary concept that food would ever be top of mind for anyone. I was doing a little, you know, just food prep before we started this. I did so much. I mean, so much freaking hummus.

Like it's coming out of my ears. And then I went on Instagram. I guess it was made. I'm just today. Hi, name is Lina Garten. So here's what I'd like to say. Back off. You better back in the up here, China. Yeah. Yeah. Baby, yeah. P.G.

Come on, come on, waste the go pass them on. They blew away. Back in like March 10th or 12th or something like that, I loaded up on Carbanzo beans and I was like, you know what, going into quarantine, gonna do nothing but make hummus, and I've yet to actually make any hummus. But I will get to it, I'm sure at some point, but what I made something that was really good this weekend

that was like, oh, I made a giant potato pancake, essentially. I, Alison Roman, who is like my, she's like my favorite, next to Ina. She has a recipe in the New York Times for potato Google, which is like a Jewish dish. It's essentially a giant potato pancake and I just shredded five giant potatoes, shredded it in onion, mixed it with six eggs and some oil and some salt and pepper, dumped it into a cast iron skillet and basically, you know, you just, you cook it on the stove top for a 10 or 12 minutes

and put in the oven for an hour and it comes out just this big crusty thing of shredded potatoes and it was divine. Yum, that sounds delicious. I don't like the word, um, Google, but I do like the sound of that dish, you know? Well, okay, so you're an anti-SMI. That's fine. Well, it's a vagina. It's like a vagina exercise.

It reminds me of the vagina exercise. Okay, well that's Kegel. Kegel, well, just Kegel is from EW and Kegel is, I think, the vagina exercise and Google is the Jewish deliciousness. It's just too much. And then there's the one that you search for things on the internet with your vagina the Google

Google pretty Krueger Anyway, I thought you'd be especially you'd especially like that because it was like a very potato forward dish And I know like like like me you love you love a nice big potato situation I do love potatoes and I wonder what I'm eating them sometimes like why do I love these so much because they're like nothing It's they are And I wonder what I'm eating them sometimes. Like, why do I love these so much? Because they're like nothing. It's, they are, they're nothing. I mean, they're really nothing unless you slather them in butter and other crap. And I just still love them.

You know, potato can just make any dish sink. Okay. Well, they're basically like obnoxious friends, right? They are people who don't have any personality of their own, so they take on other people's personalities, but they do it better. So they kind of like take on someone else's personality and then leave that person behind in the dust.

They're very social vampires. Yeah, they're social vampires. On their own, they're nothing, but give them some butter and oil. Little salt. Little too much ginger. Okay, let's do this, man. Come on, Chef Day.

This is all a way of trying to postpone the inevitable, which is talking about Brian Malarkey holding crystals at the top of this show. You know, this, fuck people with crystals. And I'm sorry, I know I have friends out there with crystals probably listening to this show, not you, I don't mean you, but fuck everybody else with crystals.

And guess who else has crystals? Me, I love you. Your mom. People with crystals are crazy. Okay, we're all nuts. I don't know people that have crystals that aren't like secretly using those crystals to try and take over the world like Yes, I have this I have pink crystals, but I don't want to just fall in love like I want someone's empire You know what I mean? There's always something evil behind them And I trust people like Nini who has crystals, because she's so sweet,

but then there's always a malarkey over there using the crystals for bad. Yeah, there's a reason why there's such a thing as a dark crystal, okay? And I was very concerned at the top of this episode to see Nini and Malarkey bonding over crystals and holding them and Nini saying things like, you know, the only person in this house,

who really understands crystals, like the way I do is the larky or something long that. And I was like, this is a bad omen, Nini, you should not be bonding with Malarkey on any level, especially not on a crystal level. Yeah, on a rock over a rock, you know. So then Melissa kind of bonds with them, just in the hippie-dippy way.

She's like, well, I like Jade. So that's my thing for the day. kind of bonds with them just in the hippie-dippy way. She's like, well, I like Jade. So that's my thing for the day. Yeah, I was actually, when I was watching this in real time, I thought, well, not in real time, but the first time when I started watching it, when Malarkey gave her that crystal, I was like, fuck, Melissa's going home

because he poisoned it. He put like poison energy into that crystal, but I didn't realize that actually it was really Neenie who got poisoned. Yeah, he was totally poisoned Neenie's crystal. He's like, put your crystal closer to my Neenie. Yeah. Not like that at all. Yeah, she doesn't know.

He does give her some shitty energy in the very next scene when they get to the kitchen and Padma's there with James Beard Award winner, Chris Bianco. Can't believe he's won a James Beard a Warner award winner Chris Bianco. I can't believe he's wanted James Beard award. That's amazing. But then uh, Meanie has to push Brian out of the way because he won't like let her into the group. And she's like, watch out Brian. Babies here. And then he just gives her this evil look. Did you get that? I might give. Yeah, but I might also give someone an evil look. He said, move over Brian. Move up it. Brian's babies

here. I would be like, mm, okay, please please leave me alone because I always tell her she's the baby of the group That's true. I'm like put on your seatbelt because you're the baby or whatever This was also the episode where I started to think you know I think Neenie Michael all the way which is a classic sign that someone's gonna get eliminated when I have that instinct It's like immediately they got kicked off like within the episode The crystals I'm blaming the crystals. So Padma's like, hello chefs, I'm excited to introduce you to your guest judge, a homely version of Isaac Mizrahi. Hello. I know. And also for the regular episode, I mean, for the regular challenge, the main challenge, he was also a little Isaac Mizrahi,

the conductor. Oh, you mean, do the mel do you, do you, do you, do you, yeah, there's like this, this week there was a, there was a little bit of Isaac Misrahi here going on. Yeah, there was a lot of this rock. Yeah, a lot of Misrahi. So yeah, she's like, welcome, welcome to a guy who we can't figure out if he has an accent or not, because he just talked so much like Harvey Firestein.

Am I right, Chris? And he's like, yeah, I like pizza, sir. You learn to burn things, and you learn things and you burn things, am I right, kids, sir? Yeah, his whole thing is that he makes really good pizza, but he's like, so he keeps on talking about that, and he's like, today, chefs, what you have to do is make the perfect dish, and you just have to use flour

But guess what you won't see here. No all purpose flour. Sorry girl. She just loves that AP Anyway create flour anyway until then Chris is like yeah, and even though I like pizza It don't have to be round okay. I'm gonna say it about five more times this challenge, okay? Don't gotta be round them for you to found it am I right? You need to work on that with a little ismail. I think it's my own. But it's my own. It's from a whole new version of IZAK anyway. We all know that one.

So they have basically this like of all these flowers, like arpanzo flower and coconut flower and rice flower and buckwheat flower and malarkey is like, whoa, other flowers, I haven't even seen half of these flowers before, which is like exactly what you'd expect malarkey to be like stuck 15 years ago when all you had was a pea flower? Yeah. Um, this is an annoying challenge because all of these flowers were going to be because my sister's family is all gluten free. And I've tried to cook with this kind of flower so many times because what doesn't work, okay? Stop filinizing gluten. Gluten's an amazing, amazing, stretchy person, okay?

Well, well, people forgot that they were gluten free as soon as this pandemic started. In case you haven't noticed, anytime you try to buy flour, suddenly, uh, everyone's gluten free issues cleared up real quick. Yeah. Uh, so Volts is doing like, he's like, I'm going to make a, oh, by the way, the Voltsosios are not twins. They're just brothers. I don't know why I keep calling them twins, but I said Voltsosio twins once like years ago, and I've never stopped saying it. Yeah.

My mind they're twins. They look enough alike, and they have enough of a weird communication to be twins to me. So sorry. Okay. No, I guess they have a strong fraternal twin energy. Yeah, they really do. Like they have that secret language, but they also might like murder suicide. Like, you know, they have that weird twin energy going on.

Yeah, that's yeah, like a competitive twin energy. Like good twin bad twin. Yeah, where you're just like, oh my god, have that weird twin energy going. Yeah. That's, yeah, like a competitive twin energy, like good twin, bad twin. Yeah. Where you're just like, oh my god, you guys are both so talented. And you look so much alike. Have you ever made out, you know? Yeah. They kind of have that energy, like I kind of expect Ryan Voltajio to be like, sort of leaning up against Michael Voltajio.

That's sort of an angle to be like, hey, I'm, I'm like the Danny DeVito of our, of our twin ship, you know? And the other, and Voltage, I was like Arnold Schwarzenegger and twins. I just imagine them taking Christmas cards like backed up against each other, you know, with their arms crossed. And then their sister, there's like a eyeball, their sister. Yeah.

Eating a croissant fish Happens like there will be no immunity in this challenge, but to soften the below the chef that wins will get $5,000 that's a lot of dough right that's a joke. How'd you like that one? Ali Wong, hope you can rise to the occasion alley Wong my dear friend Did that need work get Get that one, Ali Wong. So Voltasio is doing his usual thing where he's like barely gonna do the challenge. Yes. You know, he's gonna use like a purple flower,

is some shit, but he's not gonna make any kind of bread or anything. He's like, well, there will be flour in there, but it's not gonna actually be flour. So I'm not really sure how this is gonna work out, but it going to taste good. I hope I'm not on the bottom again. Yeah, I'd be like, why did you serve us, Brandzino, for the second week in a row? We want flour, dammit. So, yeah, so they're, they're all sort of like playing around with these flowers. And, you know, Gregory's happy because he is actually been gluten free for like ten years so he knows exactly what to do

and uh... caron meanwhile is she's just like laughing along and like setting things on fire she's like talking to someone and then there's a full on sheet of something that is fully ablaze at her station she's like oh well i guess i just caught that on fire i'm glad kelly carcasson wasn't here to see that i'll just caught that on fire. I'm glad Kelly Clarkson wasn't here to see that. I'll just put that out Here, oh great. Yeah, I was like paper towels or something and then these times I just don't like seeing paper towels go up into flames, you know I'm like, you don't even know what's coming Karen. You do not know what's coming

Marlark is gonna make coconut donuts and ice cream and he's like,, oh yeah, it's the joke of the house. You know, Milwaukee's got the ice cream machine again, but it should work. I mean, coconut donut without a ice cream, come on guys. Ah! And the Karen's like, well, Milwaukee tried an ice cream one other time. Maybe the second time's the charm.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, I make myself laugh so much might put some fire. Leon doesn't want to bake something, so she's going to boil some dumplings with some buckwheat flour. Why don't you not make leanies, by the way? Isn't that like the most classic famous use of buckwheat flour to make leanies? Am I crazy? I don't know.

I've never made a bulini before. It's basically like a buckley pancake. I just feel like you didn't because you'd be competing with Gregory. Who has not flour in 10 years? Leanne or maybe I should call you Lini Anne. Get that alley-wong to joke. Your profession's easy. It's a joke. Your profession's easy. And Mimi is going to make a Vietnamese rice flour crepe. And she's going to use her grandma's recipe. And she's like, if I win that $5,000, I'm taking her to the old country. Okay. The motherland, which is so cute.

And then Steph is making, you know, Steph is still over there just being positive as ever. She's like, you have no idea. God, you just can't pull out a recipe on your phone. I mean, how am I supposed to do this? I mean, this could be good, or it could just be a big, gloopy poop pop. Yeah, big pile of blue poop. Yeah, that noise you made is exactly the Steph noise.

You know, where her bangs fly up a little bit. You know, like, little dust a little bit you know like little dust might like they're like come on come on come on she's about to do it we're going to ride they like climb to the front of her air and we've heard you do that noise ago flying up in the air. Yeah and then Voltajio is like well this is really difficult for me because my food takes layers shut up Voltajio okay make some dough. It's a crumb yeah yeah so then Stephanie she tries her food and she like makes this face like she goes I like it. I like that her happy face is.

Her face is always miserable. She's one of those kids in the yearbook photo. You're always like smile. She's like I am smiling. Yeah. She puts all the silent mess of your book. Stephanie we got another one of your pictures in from the school. Could you please just smile, good mother, what's smiling? Let me watch Daria. So Malarkey's dough is finally something is saying,

no, I will not do this. I will not participate in this. I will not help Malarkey go along. And it's the dough. The dough is protesting and not coming together. And he, I guess his dough isn't working. I'm of the mindset that whatever you, whatever dough he does have, just deep fry that shit because it will, I think like the rule of dough is, it doesn't matter what the dough is, if you deep fry it, it's going to taste good, right? It's the rule of every thing. Deep fry bad good, right? It's a rule of every five out of dough. Yeah, rule of everything.

We'll have everything time's up. So the answer is her buckwheat polenta Diochi. What did she make? It was a buckwheat pull pet with brussel sprouts and kimchi or brussel sprouts kimchi Hmm and Eric has made some kind of porridge thing. Yeah, and He's really into his food food. Let's just call it what it is, OK? Eric made some food food. OK, Nick Calmdown, Nilo. Nilo somewhere like food food food. I just love food food, but I'm not gay.

With some black card on top. And then Gregory made some pancakes, which, you know, they were delicious, I guess. They said that they were delicious, but I thought that that was like the easiest thing because that's always what you read when you first go vegan or any of that. Not that that lasted long or anything,

but that's what you always read about. They're like, oh my God, pancakes, I'm gonna step bananas and some... It's a fun milk. Yeah, by the way, yeah, time to fly. bananas and some. If it works, it works. Yeah. By the way, I, yeah, yeah. By the way, I say it is harder than it looks as someone who went out of his on keto, tried to make a keto pancake that involved almond flour and cream cheese or whatever.

And it was truly one of the worst things that ever cooked in my life. It was like eating sawdust. Imagine something that looks as beautiful as the most beautiful pancake you've ever seen and then you bite into it. It's like you just a you wait sand. It was just awful. Yep, I've made so many of those in my diet career. Yeah. So Stephanie served her blue corn perilla leaf and nookie and Voltajio does. She smiles, by the way. It was really weird. She smiled. Yeah, because it's Parisian, so. And then Voltajio serves soul with a Kalamada crumble, which is cheating, and Padmas is like,

so is a flower just in the crumble? I just want to reiterate that in this challenge where you're supposed to be flower-forward, you only put it in the crumble. Is that correct? Non-Michael Valtagia. And then Nini serves her Vietnamese great thing.

And Padma's like, it almost looks fermented. I never thought Padma was like, like, dising you or what she's saying to you, you know, because she always sounds so evil. It almost looks fermented. Like, thank you. Yeah, Padma was like, when Neenie, Padma was like eating this thing, and Neenie was like, so this is a version of Ben's,

I forget how to say it, it's Yow, Ben's Yow, and Padma just like does this aggressive nod, like, yes, I know what that is, I am a food professional, and I do know David Chang. Thank you. Melissa serves duck fat almond flour, financiase. Padmas like, David, plenty of them. Thanks. I always enjoy a good financiage, joke. Have you ever had duck fat and then it winds up getting a fatwa against it. Been there. It's time for commercial. It's time for a qu-

Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserves session with these feuds say about us?

We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber. A seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows? It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Rapin's commercial. Kevin has made cornbread with some beans and greens. And Chris seems to like that. And Brian Malarki is like, OK, before you picture, before you get closer, before you get closer, opening his Ryan C. Crest mouth to an unseated. And that's what makes me craziest is that he talks like he's Ryan C. Crest with his mouth

opening as big as a fucking python to eat a goat. And I think that he thinks he's Ryan C. Crest. I think that he thinks he should be hosting Top Chef. I think he resents that Richard Blaze got to be like a recurring judge on the show before he did, you know? So I think he's seeing this as a big audition. So he's like, okay, I'm gonna hit you

with some great personality. I want you to close your eyes, okay? I wanna paint a picture for you, okay? Picture it, Cicely, 1942, okay? I'm coming over on a boat. I only know what all-purpose flowers, because every other kind of flowers for some bullshit People so therefore I'm presenting you nothing because that's what this challenge deserves right everyone high five personality By the way, have you seen Ryan Seacrest lately?

I haven't is he okay? He has he looks like he has been Reformed in goo like West goo, like to make a flesh bot and came back out with a five year old version of his face. It's the craziest thing I've ever seen. I don't know what that whole kind of surgery he's getting or what kind of injections he's getting, but he looks like a five year old version of himself still talking like Ryan Seacrest.

It's not like, wow, you look younger. It's like you look five years old, dude. You're creeping me out now. Yeah, I knew that moment was gonna come. I knew, like, it was only matter of time before Ryan Seacrest did something to his face. It's just, it's just, we knew it happened. So I definitely want to tune in and check that out.

Because I've noticed that Mario Lopez has also started to, like, you know, he, for so many years, he seems to be ageless, like by Ramones thing, okay? And I was like many years, he seemed sort of ageless by Ramona's finger. Okay. And I was like, wow, he does not eat. But then eventually I started to notice, oh, he's sort of just getting puffy. He has to pass like fillers in there. And the fillers are kind of like, yeah, he has like Mario Lopez mask now, but then like

a while, you know, and you see like a lot of. He's still so hot to me, but I'm like, okay, all right, that's you what's happening. Yeah, I mean, look, you know, go for it's just weird to see C. Crest because he doesn't look like an adult anymore. It's like a baby filter on Instagram, or maybe it's because we're doing this at home thing now and people are using Instagram filters on their actual TV shows. Maybe. I don't know what it is, but wow. Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's a whole new world shows. Maybe. I don't know what it is, but wow. Yeah.

I mean, yeah, it's a whole new world of Zoom content. I mean, Ronnie and I just, uh, we were texting all through it. We watched the 90th birthday celebration for Steven Sontime last night. And wow, that was really taking Zoom to new levels of, of something. It sure did. The ladies who lunch made the whole thing worth it. That's for sure. And then I went and watched Mandy Poutinekin on the homelands season finale or serious finale

I guess and I just seen him on that Broadway show going I'm finishing. And I watched him on Homeland and I was like, thank you for not singing. I just wrote a letter to show time immediately and put it in the snail mail. So I could make sure to get there. Thank you for not including a scene of Mandy Patinkin singing acapella in the middle of his spacious backyard with a dog back is sort of like suddenly bragging about his estate. I woke up with that that person in a tree song in my head. I like I like sort of saw myself in like a split screen of four bends Just singing I am a pasta and not treat whatever that's

Oh guys if you haven't watched it go watch it on YouTube. I think you guys still watch it. Okay, it's totally worth it. Paddy the girl in her weird house. She's like, I'm gonna do this in front of a bookshelf, I'm gonna do this in front of a Mary Annette next to a clock on a shelf for no reason. And position me right in front of that jaw-jaw-well book. I'm gonna sing a song that nobody humps to themselves in the Steven Sondheim fanry called anyone can whistle. Anyone can whistle. And let's not overlook Jake Jillin Hall's overly earnest performance of whatever song it was where he just stared mournfully at the zoom camera. Like look at me I'm Jake Jillin Hall. My hair is long and I can do musical theater singing now

He's like oh Oh, that was a fun night. That was fun. Okay, so Malarkey fucked it up and Padmas like that wasn't the challenge Malaki Yeah, he's like well the one thing that didn't quite make it the party was the dough She's like nice tribe, you know, Ali long. Am I right? Ali long? I'm taking your job Pad news first I sick miss Rahi version number one of the night He's like all right, dontajio, you know what? It might have been my favorite to eat,

but the proportion of the grain was not good to the proportion of the fish. She got a proportion. It was the flower challenge, Brian. I mean, chefs, you are also creative and so delicious. With the exception of Brian Voltajio and Brian Malaki, I'm gonna take away the flower permanently and never eat it Unlike gal she couldn't get her hands off it. We had to bar the doors

Malarkey is next to the bottom and so you know already don't you Malarkey? Yeah, and so then the tops are Melissa Gregory and Neenie and Chris So then the tops are Melissa Gregory and Neenie and Chris Chris is like, yeah, I thought Gregory yours was great and not because it was round because I make pizza Hey, I did like it looked like a bunch of little pizzas that had no toppings on it. I did like that actually Mimi, I love that you gave me a little piece of yourself. You taste great, huh? And I know Vietnamese for too. I know it too. Gregory wins.

Yeah, so Gregory wins. And then Padma, like sends off Isaac Misrahi. And she's like, thank you so much, Chris. And don't be a stranger. Come back soon and see me with famous people instead of these idiots. Now for elimination you'll celebrate the hundredth anniversary of the late LA Phil harmonic. Wow. Wow LA Phil, which is also what Gail's stomach is never like when she's in loss. I'm workshopping it Ali. Stop judging me. I'm workshop, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, on my brain. I like to introduce my dear friend, little Deborah, no Padmire Debbie.

Today's guests will include conductor, Duda Mel and 60 members of his orchestra. They're not going to be fame horse at all, especially the violinist girl, spoiler alert. All right, draw knives. violinist girl, spoil the alert. All right, draw knives. Okay, chefs, you may not know this because you're all idiots, but there are five tastes pro pro positive essential to every chef, salty, sour, sweet, bitter, and pretentious, also known as a mommy.

So they have to team up and, you know, what is gonna have like salty and what will have sour and then they have to make it work together and harmony in one dish. Yeah, and Somalarki gets bitter and he's like super excited because he loves bitter and he loves endive and ridiculous, which I think is a little weird.

I don't, I, it's just like Somalarki. I don't mind if someone really likes ridiculous, but I think it's like Somal. It's just like Somalarky. I don't mind if someone really likes Ridicchio, but I think it's like Somalarky that he loves Ridicchio. Yeah, it's Somalarky to be like, God, I love Andeve. Yeah, just love it. Just loves it. So Nini and Karen are immediately just like class pans

and are like best friends, best friends, and Padma is disgusted. She's like, did you even look at your profile you do two stupid idiots I mean that would be like me grabbing gals hand and be like let's go to the dress barn together I mean I would never I didn't say that the people who both got pushed into lockers in high school should pair up together I said people with matching knives all right we're supposed to be exploring complimentary flavors. Not who's the frontiest.

Well, all right, whoever peed on the ground when they saw Kelly Clarkson pair up. No, that's not the challenge. All right. So anyway, so yeah, so Nina and Karen are going to be our Umami and are they Umami and Sauer? Is that what they are? I forgot. I forgot this. Malarkey, Les, on, Dave.

Yeah. Leana, Malarkey, Leana looks so not thrilled that she's stuck with Malarkey. Leana's like that one person who's like a little bit friendly to the worst person in school. Like she's the one who has like, she's just like, she has a little bit of sympathy for that person, but then that person always wants to hang out with her and she's like, oh, like, no, I'm stuck with it and I can't be mean because I've sort of made this, I've like morally created this situation in my head

that I have to be nice to this person, but now I actually don't want to be this committed to my niceness to this person. Are you talking about Leanne? Leanne, yeah. You're with Marquis? Yes. It's like nothing else wants you.

I guess I'll be stuck with you. Yeah, exactly. Like, Leanne was nice to my school ones, basically. Leanne, like, I don't know, like, let him sit at the table, and now, like, he just thinks it like so close. And now she's And now when it comes time to picking, she gets stuck with Malariki and all her friends with other cool people. And she's just like, this sucks.

I'm over committed in my trying to be nice to him. Yeah. Well, I hope you're happy with your teammates because this is a double pink hair elimination. Everybody with pink hair and anybody whose friends with them will be eliminated today. care elimination. Everybody with pink care and anybody whose friends with them will be eliminated today Double elimination kind of like when Gail has to throw out a jumper and a romper Which he never does by the way

So Neenie's like I was eliminated last year on a on a double elimination and it really sucks So this year I'm really feeling pressure because it was harder than last year, but thank God I rubbed my crystal this morning right next to Malarkey. Yeah. So Gregory and Stephanie are a team and Gregory is like, you know, when I choose my flavor,

I really wanted to pick someone based on the flavor that they had and Stephanie's like, so it wasn't because I'm popular. Fuck me. I was like, well, congratulations, you two. You're gonna get zero airtime. Yeah, seriously. See you again when you present your dishes. Yeah.

So then they all drive off to the Walt Disney concert hall. And everyone's like buzzing in their cars. And your BMWs, which are provided by BMW, my favorite corporation. So everyone's like, well, we can do this. We can do dessert. We can have that all. And then we just see Leanne and Malarkey sitting there silently, like full of resentment.

And I hate you. I hate you. So they go to the Walt Disney concert hall, which I resent deeply, because that's where you have to go for jury duty. So you have Hey you. So they go to the Walt Disney concert hall, which I resent deeply because that's where you have to go for jury duty. So you have to park and it's really. Oh yeah. And every time I walk through there now, I'm like, fuck you Walt Disney concert hall. Go fuck yourself. Why would they mix jury duty with such autistic beauty? I didn't want to say that one and the same. So then Kevin, I would say fuck you to Kevin, because they're sitting in there and they're looking at this beautiful, Frankery, you know, architectural masterpiece. And Kevin's like, well, the roof sort of looks like a cabbage leaf.

I'm like, fuck you. I'm always going to see cabbage leaves up there. I don't even see the cabbage leaf, but I'm always going to think of, oh, look, there's a cabbage leaf. But he's just so careful about it, you know. He's like, this is stunning. We are at the Walt Disney Hall right now, and it is stunning, so many angles, so much movement.

The interior, gorgeous blonde woods, cuff shapes, almost looks like a cabbage leaf. I'm like, could you just say something funny, normally? Okay, you're not narrating like Fraser's life story on animal planet. Like fuck. Oh my God. Yeah, when he said that, I was like,

O'Rani is gonna be so mad because I'm mad. And if I'm mad, the Rani's gonna be so mad. He's just like, oh, him, you know, blonde woods, cop shapes. So cute to call them, sir. So then Isaac Misrach, he number two of the day comes out. Like,

you stop all do the math. They're like, hello, Jebs. He's like, something funny is that that organ over there, people call it the French fries. Kevin's like, oh wow, look at that sting, the cherry sting, and the French fries reminds me of cabbage cut in the shape of French fries. Look at that beautiful, big, burly bald man eating those fries so delicately. Ronny, get off the organ please. That's me.

I'm just your French fries. I start eating the set. You'll see over here, chefs, that we actually have a bass drum from the orchestra. Oh wait, that's just gal. Hi gal. And do the males very, you know, into it as he should be. But he's like, oh, it's very special moment because we are celebrating hundreds.

Food! It is like art. It has flavor and feelings. And then you put these things together, you make harmony with food and feelings and love and music and love and food. I'm like, okay, can we go back to the French fry talk? You're getting wandering in the cabin.

You're back to the French fry organ. Thanks. So Karen tells us that she was a musical theater major. And she's, you know, just all giggle. She's like, as much as I'd like to think I had a buddy career as a songstress, it was never gonna happen. Like, well, listen, I didn't come here to eat your broken dreams. I guess maybe is having that background of music is why I probably would get a very simple Kelly Clarkson reference, but my partner probably couldn't get it because I guess that's probably why. That's probably why I understand Kelly Clarkson a little bit better than he does anyway.

Oh, so then Kevin asked a very Kevin question. He's like, conductor, what is it like to have such contrasting elements inside one orchestra? I was like, oh, shut up. I'm not Kevin. And he's like, every instrument, they are so different, they have their own color, but they all have to match. Like a food.

And you know, somewhere Tom Collicchio was watching on a closer good monitor and I was like, this is pretty good stuff. I think when it comes time to judging, I'm just going to probably really lean into this music metaphor is really into it. I mean, write that down for later. Thanks. So they go off into break off into their little two person teams to go talk. And Karen and Ne Nini are just guessing each other to death. You know, Karen's like, these great tomatoes, they're going to be sour, they're going to be umami.

And if it was a song, that would be the crescendo. And Nini's like, love it, love it. Love it. I don't care what you just said. I heard crescendo. And I love it. Let's do it. Yeah. And everyone, so Eric, like Eric and Brian Voltage, you're going to do something and it's going to incorporate Maffee, which is a Sunday, gonna do something and it's gonna incorporate Maffe, which is a semi-gallise stew and everyone's talking and Malarkey and Leanne are having real issues because Malarkey's like, well, how about we have some beef but we'll cook it in the tallow

and then we're gonna add a piece of metal but you won't know where it is but we're gonna saute that metal so it gets real tender but it's still metal. You know what I'm saying? And she's like, we need you to re-init in a little bit. She's like, um, I'm being bitter. That's at Malarkey. All right. He's like, okay, great. So let's also add some sweet and some sour

and maybe some salty to that too. How about that? She's gonna kill him already. And I like that she's not even trying to hide it. But she wants to murder him. So then they go shopping and when they go into the store, Ryan Votaggio like runs up with his car and he needs behind him and she is, oh my god, it's Michael Votaggio. And then they have this like battle for himself. It's hilarious. It's like what? And he just looked around like what? He's like what and you to flip around like what

So then lian lian has like a battle with I think it was Eric over and dive So she gets all the end dive which like counts as high drama on the show I'm like, ooh someone's the love the end dive and I'll talk about that by the way the the whole foods worker totally shamed her Because she's like, um, do you have on deep and he's like, uh, and I Yeah, it's over there And for a ransacking our store Kevin tells Eric that was dick man. I think that's what he said and Eric's like, yeah Well, what are you gonna do and we'll talk to you. It's like well, welcome to top chef where sometimes you have to pivot Right, so then Melissa for sometimes you have to pivot, right? So then Melissa, Liam's like trying to shop

and Melissa's just standing there with her notebook and Melissa's the front runner, right? So, no one needs to hear you do them on log. And we're like, where's a goddamn off price, or whatever. And Melissa's like, well, here's what I'm gonna do and she whips out her notebook and she's like, cabbage, cabbage is such a humble, simple vegetable. I'm gonna attempt to elevate the cabbage.

I'm taking a huge risk. Could you get the fuck out of brassicas. So anyway Karen then Karen's like I make this really great dish called aquapasta or aquapazza which actually means crazy water in Italian. Yeah I actually wrote a song about it and submitted it to Kelly Clarkson's people. They never got back to me about it. I was like went like this aquapazza aquapazropazza. I'm crazy. What are for you? It's a great song. Anyway, we're going to make that. The bridge was about poaching different fish into the same water. I can't believe she didn't pick it. By the way, that sounds disgusting. So then, so then they're paying and Brian Malak is trying to slip stiff stuff in at the end.

And then he's like, no, it's like being with a little kid in the grocery store, where you're like, where did this candy come from? I didn't even see you get this off the shelf. And they just start throwing everything onto the conveyor belt. Exactly. But instead of candy, it's like carrots. He's just trying, he's really trying to force a carrot situation, even though carrots are sweet, and Leanne is going mad. She's like shopping with Brian Malarkey, is like shopping with monkeys on crack, which is appropriate because we have decided that his face looks like monkey chimes when he smiles. I know, I thought of you when you said when this one said that.

I was like thank you, Leah. So they go to cook at Oatium restaurant. And they all start, you know, like what are you doing today? And they tell Kevin. She's like, so Kevin, what are you doing? He's like, fuck off. Just kidding. Just kidding. Just I was just thinking back on the blond stain of that wood and the way those, the, the, the, the ceiling really look like a cabbage leaf. Napa, purple cabbage, all the cabbages. All the cabbages were represented. And Votaggio is like, I'm making pork with mothilocker, lacquer. Oh, God, it sounds like something I want to lacquer all over myself.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, You could tell they hadn't moved in hours. They were just like peeling stuff side by side, just chattering away. And I was like, I love these, too. I hope they go all the way to the end, which is when I sealed their fate and made sure that they got eliminated this episode. Yeah. Oh. Um, so then Stephanie watches Brian Malarkey and Leanne

go at each other. That's pretty fun. It's basically this. So I was thinking, no. So then I was thinking, we, now Brian, then I was thinking, God damn it. I sit down. Yeah. And then the judges come in to sit down at their table. And due to Mel starts talking about like, how he started to, when he started to conduct for the first time and basically, there was was like the conductor wasn't there and they needed a conductor So he stood up and everything and Padma's like and how old were you when you became a superstar?

He's like 11. She's wow 11 That's how old Gail was when she first ran to act of Phylline's basement. Wow pivotal age Yeah, Gail's doing this new thing now Gail's thing has always been really bad patterns, you know, and that's always what I look for in Gail. Her new thing is really bad shoulder pad things. Like, they're like futuristic shoulder pads that it's not just a shoulder pad, it's also the actual dress. It's like the fabric goes skin type to the shoulder pad, you know what I mean? It's very like Judy Jutson, and I think it's like the third time she's done it. Where did you find a sale on the shoulder pad dress things?

You need to stop, Gale, okay? And then we're always making fun of your patterns, but you need to go back to those. Like if it's between this and that, go back to those. I'm uncomfortable with this future Gale. I don't eat future Gale. I like present Gale. Just because you wear a crazy shoulder pads,

doesn't mean you're a padma. Get it, Alie Wag. That was for you. That was for you. Doesn't mean you're a padma. Get it, Alie Wog, that was for you. That was for you. So they start plating in the back. And Stephanie's like, I feel like a great responsibility to make sure I don't hurt Gregory's chances because he's so talented and I'm just so...

Oh. Smile, would you smile? Just smile one time for the. I am smiling, I am. And outside, Tom, it's like, you know, what I like about this challenge is that it's forcing to think about where the flavor is going to hit you on the palate. Am I right? Quiet, you ball. Let's eat. So Gregory and Stephanie present first and their

salty and sour, and they've made a sea bass with glazed, are glazed with miso and saki-oozoo. And Tom's like, no, everything in this dish is salty and sour. It's not just some things are salty and sour. All the things are salty and sour. It's like everything is working together, like a chef in a kitchen where the music is a symphony of violins and brass and great music is coming out of it. Do you want to take this from here? You want to go from here on? I'm still working on it. Oh, and then there's another guest, Judge.

I didn't write down his name, though. Timothy. Timothy, he was very surly. I like him. He's like the thing that pulls me away from this is the spiciness of the broth. And they're like, mm-hmm, we're not going to listen to that. OK. And then as when we see violin check. And we always call always call these the normal people or the regular people or whatever when

You know the guests are there and they give the thirsty as guests some camera time and This today is the violin chick and I wanted them to show her like five million times because she's like This was something that bacon, what a nice time. So it's like very natural, very natural by a little chick. It's like, this is not going to get you first chair. Okay. So settle down. Padma's like, I would order this again and again and again. So it's like, yeah, that is slushy machine.

So then Kevin is like, hopefully they say that we embody the spirit of the challenge blondewood. So he's with Melissa and they've made sweet and salty roasted cabbage with fish sauce and pork crumple. It actually looked amazing. I was salivating and they serve it and Gail just goes damn. Well, did you find a salad dress, Barngear? Really great that you focused on a vegetable, guys. You know what I love? Is that when you put this in your mouth, there's a bang, a flavor. Wow.

It's almost like someone hit a timpani. Okay, whatever you say, Tom, I'm the one speaking, though. Um, and Gustave was like it's a dick team So then Malarkey is getting ready with Liam. He's like wow Liam. Very controlling Okay, Karen's not gonna make it to the symphony about the tomatoes are so guess what got that in so suck it We're working together. We're highly highly highly focused Yeah, I'm yeah that's not good. We're working together. We're highly, highly, highly focused. Yeah. Yeah. So then they serve a beef with miso anchovy holidays and bitter greens, charred orange puree. And so they, he serves it and they're all eating it and he's explaining

it. And then with his time to go, Ryan does something that's so annoying. He kind of like, does that sort of like dip. He does like a dip with his knees and he goes, I appreciate that. You know that it's like when he's just being so condescending to the, do you notice that, you notice that move where it's like, it's almost like the blessed hands, like blessed, but it's not, it's like, yeah, it's like this little bow to the sideways, I appreciate that. Thank you so much. Fuck you, stop doing that little minor bow. How is it working as a team?

You're both horrible people. You're like, well, we've known each other a long time and she's still a bit from hell. Thank you, blessed. And did a meal, I was like, they take thousands of notes and put them together in harmony. I'm like a doctor. And Gail's like, this is the best food we've had from both of them. It wasn't overwrought or overthought. Listen, Gail, it's a symphony, not a vanilla ice concert.

Wow, Gail. What a revelation. Considering they both served us nothing better than a ho-ho. All season long. So then Eric and Voltazio come out. That pork I was worried for their pork. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh so this pork came out and it had this moffe lacquer on it, which is where the sweetness was supposed to be. And they served it and before Padma ate the pork, she took like the very tip of her knife

and scraped off a little bit of the lacquer and tasted the very tip of her tongue. It was like, this looks like shit. I just wanted to make sure it tastes like shit too before I yell at you guys for serving shit to a celebrity And Tom's like well, you know, this was This was a musical notes coming together You know what I'm really out of it can someone just put on some apple music? I pay for that. So yeah, I mean, like, you know, here's the problem here. I would cut the pork loin

in half. I got a different way because the ratio of crusts to meat is off. It's like when you listen to a beautiful symphony and you're just like, whoa, too much cello, am I right? There's just too much cello and too much tuba. The ratio is all off. Do the mouth. You want to take it from here? I sort of set you up for some good music references. You want to do it from here? I sort of set you up for some good music references. You want to do it? No? Okay, I'm gonna have to rely on you for the rest of this because my notes got cut off somehow. Oh, I don't know. I have no idea Well, that's fine. So next up come Karen and Neenie and so they have um Umami and so do you want me to send you my notes with that make life easier for you? Um

with that make life easier for you. Um, how embarrassing. It's fine, that's fine. It's fine. It's very, very simple. Okay, so Karen and Nina are up next and they have Umami and Sour and Karen's like, you know, well, you know, for us, the melody is the broth and the harmony is everything else.

And the potatoes are the crescendo and the spoon is sort of like you sitting in your seat, which you're like, wow, this is a good seat, but I kind of wish I had paid more for a better seat. Am I right, spoon? Am I right? And then Rod McGism, this look where she just squint smiles at them. She's like, hmm.

Crescendo on a potato, really. Well, grape tomatoes. He he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he other their pathetic thanks. Yeah, this, you pretty much knew at this point that those two were getting it, because everybody else, like right before they came out, Gale was like, this is the best food we've had all season long. This has been amazing.

How are we gonna choose? This is amazing. And then they served it and all the judges are like, yeah, I mean, it was tomato. So it's like some tomato something. So. So then after the girls are done, the power my stands up and she's like, I want to thank Erdem Restaurant for allowing us to cook in their kitchen.

And to the LA Phil, I want to wish you a happy 100th anniversary and please break a leg. No autographs. Thank you very much. I'd also like to give a special shout out to both Isaac Mizrahi's for coming today. And another thing to the LA Phil, I just want to remind each and every one of the people here who are also talented that they will never be as famous as I am. So see you way out. Thank you. And so now for judging. Yes. So Tom is like, you know, this was a pretty fantastic meal. I liked this was just really delicious and Padma's

like, and that's what makes this decision even harder. And of course, by decision, I mean, what do we feed Gale orios or sawteens? Yeah, I don't have notes. So I'm just going to. I'm just going to. Oh, I emailed you. Ma, I emailed you. By the way, if you need to. Oh, thank you. Sorry, everybody. I know this is so unprof. Wow. Do you mean to raise half your notes, Ronnie? I don't know what the hell I do sometimes.

I think it's because I typed these notes now on this iPad and it's like so little to fit between my I feel like a gigantic bear typing on this little tiny thing and you know you move one thing and then your finger hit something and then I get it so Padma turns to Karen and Nini and she's like so Homely ladies. How is the day for you? Bad, right? And they're like, well, we actually had a great time. We had so much fun. I've loved telling Nini all about my new album that I'm working on called Crazy Pasta, featuring my favorite song, Aqua Pasta.

It's a song about crazy, crazy shapes of pasta. My new single is called Wagon Wheels Go Round and Round. Gonna send that one to Taylor Swift and see if she likes that. Hopefully she will. Wow, a song about poached fish. Can't wait. Surely you're going to make it in that industry. So Stephanie Greg, I talked about how they had a wonderful calm between them.

And they're basically, all the teams are basically talking about how they just love, they all worked well together, you know? So they're all complimenting each other. Yeah, and then, Padma, where are we in judging? Yeah, we're in judging. So Padma's basically like, well, shits, all of the dishes were fantastic,

but we do have a favorite, and that is my outfit. Thank you all so much for noticing. Congratulations. It was cabbage. Wow. What a way to elevate the cabbage. Isn't that right? Anybody here want to have monologue about cabbage? Well, I will say the shapes and the curves of that ceiling inspired me to no end. Thank you you ceiling. Okay, quiet. Travelosity. No. Okay. Leonardo.

Malaki. You guys were really, really close to winning this, but you didn't. You did not win. So you do not have to kind of taste a little bit of Malaki's personality while I was eating and it disgusted me to get out. Part of me wonders if I had a delicious coconut donut earlier in the day that maybe my appetite was been ready for this dish, but oh well, I guess that's something we'll never know. We try to go into these challenges and judge them challenge by challenge, but it's really

hard for me to respect a veneer that doesn't understand dough. Alright, so Greg and Stephanie, let's get on with you. And Kale's like, it was distinctly salty and distinctly sour. But the one thing that was superfluous, where your shoulder pads no, was the jalapeno. I was going to write an album called the superfluous jalapeno. Shut up, lady.

All right, you've had your turn, pink hair. We'll get to you. We'll get to you, sweet tomato sauce. I love your notes. This is so fun reading your notes. Gail. You know, put the chilies away sometimes. Says the woman who wears a pattern to a wedding.

I don't even know what that means. But in Padmas, mine is terrible. So they are safe. So then we're down to Karen and Nini and then also who's the other, who's the, actually, I can't even remember who the other team is. Oh, Eric and Brian. Yeah. So Patma's like, making delicious, beautiful food

was the baseline, but highlighting the two tastes was the challenge of the day. Let's talk about how all four of you failed and should be kicked off all at once. Mm-hmm. And Kiel's like, yeah, you know what, fresh whole tomatoes, that doesn't really give me you mom each, it gives me tomato, okay?

Hey Padma can I try this one out? Did you mean to use fresh tomatoes? You didn't do it right you gotta go like this Did you mean to use fresh tomatoes? Hope you enjoyed that pala fail that gail just served us I'm about to eliminate Gale. Trump's like, maybe you could have, you know, I don't know, cook the tomato sauce because that creates umami, not just tomatoes, that's acid, which is not umami. And frankly, it was off key and out of rhythm

and two four time signature, and that's all I've got. You know it's like you have a you got like a Casio keyboard and you're like okay I'm gonna blow everyone away with my synthesizer right now and then you never plug it in. You know just no mommy coming out of it. Then when they get to Eric and Brian's dish, Padmas, like you just had a good amount of bitterness, it just needed more sweetness. Yeah, yeah, you know, the park was sliced too thin and there just wasn't enough surface area and this is when Tom is just, you know, he's on this thing. Well, you know, if you cut it halfway, I mean, it's like, it's like you take out a trumpet, you know, and I blow in the wrong end. Am I right, everyone? Am I right? You know?

I'm proud of what it's like. I don't want to see any of them go. Sad face. Sad face. I look when Pratma pretends to be really sad or when she pretends to cry, but no tears come out. She's like, hold on. I'm about to kick you off, but hold on, let me try and get some tears in here. Can we do that one again? Not working. I need some onions, gal, breathe on my face. So, gal's like, I mean, they're going home for a fantastic food, it feels counterintuitive

to what we're here to do. I know, I know. Like, if I have to eliminate Neenie, how am I going to impress anyone with my knowledge of Asian food? So, Gail's like, well, you know, the simple act of putting those fresh tomatoes in the dish distracted from the umami-ness.

Yeah, just like how your fresh tomato color dress distracts me from everything. So I'm like, well, you know what happened here chefs is there's a there's that a conductor was calling for This is an actual so by the way it is a Conducting for violence of woodwinds and all of a sudden someone decided to go take a mixology class and Music was just completely ruined and just turned into a really really watered down martini, so Padm just goes yeah Like I don't I don't know where you're going with this one, but it's amusing

So chefs welcome back. I think that music is a great comparison for what we do. Every night is chefs, you know. I say out too late, I go on too many dates, and that's what people say. You know, that's what people say. But I keep moving, I keep grooving, and that was Taylor Swift and that's all I've got. Pop-pop kick somebody off. Thank you for another first musical metaphor, Tom. That was really lovely.

And I'm sure my dear friend Taylor Swift and my dear friend, Lena Weith both enjoyed that quite a bit. Anyway, homely ladies, you're fired. way. Homely ladies, you're fired. So, uh, Nini's like, oh, maybe that's my curse, if there's a double elimination, I get kicked off. You're darned, dude, and take your glasses with you. Now, don't go anywhere just yet. Yeah, Niniie, Neenie and Karen don't go anywhere just yet. I want to sit in your humiliation. Not a number. Oh, that's good. Look at how sad you are. That's good. That feels real nice. And now it's time for last chance, kitchen.

Don't don't don't don't don't don't. Yeah, Tom basically is like, Oh, I'll take it from here. And he like changes his jet. They do like a whole set change behind him. And I thought he was going to break it into a, into a solo here. He's like, all right, this time for the last chance musical montage. So we changes into like his last chance jacket. And he's like, last chance starts right now.

And then all the other chefs come walking in. For more of last chance kitchen, head to bravoTV.com. And to know what I'm up to, you can watch a beautiful woman eating a hamburger on my Instagram. I was speaking of, I was looking at her Instagram today and I was cracking up. She's like, it shows her cooking, right?

And then it shows her sitting down to eat. And then while the whole time she's eating, her cleaning lady is behind her cleaning the mess that she just made and it's just so podma it's like look at me if this was so simple to make and so delicious I'm like yeah it's simple because you don't have to clean anything you just get to do the fucking fun part the cleaning ladies bond you like this bitch had to use ten pans to make that. Saying it's not. I wait, this is on her story, you said? No, it's just her regular Instagram feed.

Oh, God. I think it's today's. Yeah, is this one she's making doses? It's now watching it. Yeah, she's making doses. And like when she's down to eat them, you just see the lady behind her, like, fuck this god damn it. Yeah, what is he or something I'm on the psychoso

I've made four different stews and sauces so easy so simple okay I think I'm on the wrong one but either way that is so bad much to do that look at me Karen and Eany you have been eliminated but I do cordially invite you to clean up my dishes. And that brings us to the end of Topa Shifra. Everybody thanks so much for being here. We'll be back tomorrow with some shawls.

Some sunsets. Woo! Should be fun. Talk to you everyone. Bye everyone. I love you. Blazing deals, boundless options. Its hot grill, summer at Whole Foods Market from June 14 through July 4. Fire up the grill with quality cuts at the best prices. We're talking animal welfare certified meat.

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