Watch What Crappens - Top Chef: The Beguiling Beet Goes On

Episode Date: June 23, 2020

Top Chef comes to the end of another great season and crowns a deserving winner. Have beets ever been so beguiling? For this week's premium bonus and our video recaps, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **New merch! We designed lots of new face masks for Bravo lovers available at crappensmerch.com A portion of sales go to MedShare! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off, voice only. Launching during pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, but the boss is around. Who cares what happens, but there's so much that happens. Hello, and welcome to Watch What Corruptance. The podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about on YeoBrofs. It's me, Ronnie over here, and over there is Pan.

Hi, Pan. Hi, how's it going? Good, I just over there to you. Yeah, I'm over there. Over there. Happy Monday, everybody. Welcome back to the show. Today is glorious top chef day.

It's a very sad day here, because it's the top chef season finale. And I'm not really OK with that. I know. I'm sad. I want more and more top chef, especially this season was so good. It really was.

And usually by the end of a season, really of anything. But especially, you know bravo Like a housewife show or something I'm like I'm done getting rid of it like I've had it. Yeah, but God I just wanted more and more of this one Well Padma does have a new show that's out on Hulu called Tastination and the first episode I actually watched the first two episodes just because I love, I actually love those shows where people walk around and eat food. And the first episode Padma went to your hometown of El Paso, Texas. Oh yeah!

Of course she picked a brand new restaurant. Okay, she called me Padma, call me first. Okay, got 20 years of El Paso food for you to go in on. But we'll talk about that in a minute. For now, we're going to talk about some black own businesses. Okay. So we're still doing small business shout outs here at Krapen. So go support these people. First up is a store in my current town, Austin, Texas, called Black Pearl Books. Okay. That's great website. The ship nationwide. There, let me see,

da da da da, if reading through this email. There is Instagram handle is at Black Pearl Books and their website is blackpurlbookstore.com. Sweet. And then one of our listeners, Bridget, wrote to tell us about her friend, Dee, who owns an online boutique called, Cuomboca.

It's a black owned boutique that specializes in handmade jewelry clothing and handbags crafted by artisans in Kenya. D is a native Kenyan and has amazing style. Please check out her Instagram at Kwamboka underscore ke or her website Kwamboka.com. And that's spelled K-W-A-M-B-O-K-A. And that's the same spelling with an underscore and a K-E

for Instagram. So go check that out. That's awesome. What is Kevin's last name from Top Chef? Kevin. Uh, Kevin, my grandpa, he had it. Erlan? Kevin American Airlines.

That's my name. Kevin Delta Delta. Kevin Delta. Kevin's name is. Kevin Gillespie. I'm going to look up. That's my name Kevin Delta Delta Delta His name is Kevin Gillespie. I'm gonna look up. Kevin Gillespie apology Yeah, after all don't like let's not forget that When he first got voted off Tom said Kevin Gillespie you're a good man. You're a good man Kevin Gillespie So he has an apology is this for his Confederate flag tattoo? It wasn't that specific and it's so weird that it's not showing up right away

Actually apology letter here. I'll write apology. Okay. That'll be better. Sorry everybody I'm doing a lot of googling at the beginning of the show welcome to Monday. Okay. I want to apologize to my grandma Because I apologize that I was not able to introduce her America's first carriage to people who would understand it better. I apologize for always being moved to first class. He was he didn't really specify why he was apologizing. He apologized. Apologizing. That's any word.

He was just saying, I'm sorry for what I said. And it was really long and very Kevin. I was like, okay, I'm already done with this. But I'm guessing it's because he said Shanghai. Like you guys Shanghai that and like his plantation stuff. I'm not really sure, but Kevin Apologized, if anyone cares. I guess Google doesn't. Yeah, apparently not. Well, for those of you who don't know, I actually saw the picture. He has, he does have like some tattoo that, if I may, was it like a skull that had a hat and the hat had a Confederate flag? It was something like that, you know? Yeah.

So that's great. Just great. Love that. Love that for him. Love that. Yeah. A whole. Okay, so here we are.

The finale. Previously. The greatest competitors in Top Chef history! We have three non-famous poor people who are competing to speak a town as well as I do. Exactly! We have three people left standing and one person sitting in a terrible dress. Sorry, Gail ruined the entire Italian fashion industry just by showing up.

And they're doing a very Olympic style where it's like, I have unfinished business here. Melissa has more wins than any competitor in the history of Top Chef and she still didn't win the first time around. She'll always have to live with that. So sorry. And just like the Olympics, Melissa has a super sad story to tell us. She's like one time I didn't do that well after a restaurant war. Like Melissa, stopping traumatized by the one time you didn't win everything. Yeah. Yeah, Melissa's arc is like, I was awesome and then awesome and more awesome and then more awesome and then I made a great fruit salad and now I'm back to being awesome. So it's been

really tough. And the private chef who is seen as the underdog Stephanie Smaller, which is a perfect name for her actually. Oh, did watch it? The watch what happens live apparently Padma was like every answer with Stephanie and he's like, well who are you? Who are you most surprised at being Stephanie? Alright, well who has the driest bread out of it? Stephanie. Who has the worst interpretation of a cuisine that's thousands of year old and from your native country of India. Stephanie! I think her name is Semaar, Semaar or something like that. I don't think it's smaller and smaller. Oh, I wrote that down in my put. How did I not know that? That's amazing.

Because that's what Padma calls her. And Stephanie's smaller. It's Semaar, whatever non-Indian chef. That sounded a bigly racist, I apologize. I didn't mean it from that place. I meant it because Stephanie made Indian food for bad man. It was a silly silly thing for her to do. Yeah. So Stephanie's like, oh, at first I was in the bottom of everything. But then I had a turning point and now I'm the most confident I'll ever be. I'm happy and I definitely deserve this. I was like, oh, no, don't throw Stephanie back into the depression. Please.

Please don't. Tonight is the finale of Top Not Nilo. Welcome to Top Why Is Nilo Here Again. How many times I have to put my bar to Nilo before someone realizes they're going to get rid of her? Ugh. I just put Uggluigi triggers me. Like every time time they show him when they flash all the chefs that have been there Yes, it's like flash flash flash

Oh, damn you Luigi I get untriggered though when I see Jen in the opening credits and she's just like yeah I'm still in the credits even though I got kicked off of my damn sunshine lemon sauce Yeah, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm a much nicer person now, but I'm gonna flip the fuck out of this shrimp in this pan. Did you're watching right now? Well, I'm gonna do it. I'm not gonna get mad about it. Just gonna make a lot of fire come up from the stove.

Jen, please calm down. You're alarming our good friends at San Patigrino. So here we are, all the way in Italy and staying in the redisons. I'm so sorry for you. Were there no non-chain? Was there too much ham hanging from the non-chain hotels? Not only is Italy the home of the Renaissance,

it's also the home of the Renaissance hotel where you'll be staying. Enjoy! So they get a note and it's so dry. It's like congratulations. You deserve it. Eat breakfast. When you don't go outside, I'll be there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's like eat breakfast. You earned it like what? They didn't earn breakfast all those other times. And when you're done, see me on the terrace. I'll be there watching Gail from afar. She tries to figure out how to order a piece of bread from an Italian vendor down the street Just trust Italy to be hilarious just trust me Civil Toscia is like whoa how did everyone sleep? I slept well because this is a milestone and we all thought to get here and I mean

Why so pretty well, but I was moping up by that amazing aroma of breakfast. Oh no. And then he reminds us that he got a really tough critique last week and he still upset about it. And then we get a clip of Padman going, you have fed with like Gail's closet. It lacks so hard and proper shoulder shapes, Brian. My food is a bit more progressive than modern, so maybe it's associated with that. Not associated with the soul or heart, but innovation does come from a place of love, so

you'll see it in the next cook. Yeah, and I did just use cook as if it were a noun. But yeah, well, it is a noun, but not noun in that sense. But anyway, heart and soul, yeah, I'm gonna slap you right in the face with the heart and soul. Innovation. I mean, innovation has soul. The guy who invented toenail clippers was he so this? Okay, I'm sure he wrote poetry the steam train that guy had soul fly zappers don't tell me that guy didn't have soul

You're telling me the guy who invented wire hangers didn't have heart and soul Utility the rest try But Brad Voltazio Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Look at all this fog. You'd almost think I was the star of ice age. So Tom anything to say? She's wearing like one of those big furry-sleeved and colored jackets. It's like Padmas. She loves. Does Padmas wardrobe get its own plane? Because I've never seen such big furs in one of them. I know, seriously. I mean, how did she find such a high fashion in Italy? So then... She's... She's...

As you can tell, I caught in the fog, it seems a little bit more mysterious. You know what I say about fog. It's sort of like God's foam. You know what I'm saying? Super annoying Brian. What solace fog, God, taking it out. So, have any of you guys learned anything new about yourself? What's so list fog god taking it? So um Have any of you guys learned anything new about yourself? Yes, I learned something I learned that I could be around poor people and still enjoy it. Oh, you're not asking me okay Stephanie's like well, I learned that I have perseverance You know my whole life before this was do we have enough paper clips in the office and now here I am and I'm proud of myself. You should be proud because honestly after you tried to serve

me Indian food I would have just retired to a cave and never come out for the rest of my life. Congratulations. Well I learned that people who invent things and are useful are soulful as well. For example, the guy who invented toenail clippers. He's got soul. That's what I learned. Thank you. Most was like, it was about finding my inner strength really and realizing that at the end of the day, I just want to get a scooter over the girl. So that's well, we've been blown away by all of you and we expect nothing that less with your finale meal. Each of you will be responsible to make the best progressive for a course meal of your life. No twists.

Unlike girls patterns, there'll be no twists. And she starts naming all these famous chefs who were coming and Mark is Sam. You'll send. I was like, you know what? Marcus Amulsen, the worst thing he ever did was go on Chopped. Because every time I see him now, I'm like, you're on Chopped.

Okay. Seriously. Marcus Amulsen, Daria Kachini, Claire Smith, who's the best female chef in the world. Also, Moro Kanna-Kara-Kara-Kara, who is the number one spot on our dear friend, satin palagrinos's 50 best restaurant list, just to name a few.

And guess what? Well, we've brought reinforcements, otherwise known as a plan B, which your son should have had when he decided to put liquid in cups and mix them up and call that a living. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Alright, here are your quote unquote reinforcements.

We got Leanne, who has been pretty terrible for a lot of people, and we have Kevin, who is wearing a little airplane pin. I don't understand that. And Malarkey, who we actually had to spend money on because Gregory has a bad back. So we actually flew this asshole all the way to Italy. Each of you will get one of these losers.

Alright, Gregory's back hurt, so he's at home. So, so Leanne has graciously stepped in. Oh yeah, that's right. I guess Malarkey was already there. Leanne has, Leanne has graced us with her yoke from sunny side up egg scarf. Leanne, did you mean to wear a scarf that looks like bacon and eggs? Because you know we are very close to Milan and you do run the risk of being thrown out of Italy for that ridiculous scarf. So we'll talk to you a picture first night and he nif-knife, and he gets to pick first, so he takes Kevin. Cause we have more best friends! Oh, actually Stephanie got first choice and she chose Malarkey, which was surprising. Oh, I was happy.

Well, it was bad. Yeah, bad. But why? Why did you pick Malarkey? By the way, Malarkey was the answer to your time to crossword puzzle clue recently and I was fully triggered by it. So why did you pick Malarkey and Stephanie goes well his enthusiasm and a skill like we just like film love you know during restaurant wars Oh, okay, that's great. I was hoping that you were gonna say because he's uniquely terrible and he's gonna ruin all your food

That's what I'm hoping for I love with anybody picks Malarkey. She goes can I ask why? Malarkey she goes um can I ask why? Just openly hates Malarkey. Oh, we have a letter here Stephanie from Ruth Rysheil that says You picked a no good son of a bitch who doesn't do honor to the food he cooks good luck. Yeah So if Adam was like so have you worked with um lian Melissa? I'm Melissa's like we haven't I'm so happy This is gonna be so great. Yeah, didn't they work together in restaurant wars? No, they never worked together.

And Padma's face is like, oh, well, this is awkward. I'm glad my dear friend, Lena Weith, isn't here to see it. Well, who was it when they were, I thought it was restaurant wars when someone was being mean, Leanne was being mean to the waiters. Didn't Melissa take over and say, no, we're not going to do that. I think I was. I thought that was Stephanie. Maybe it's Stephanie. Oh, I don't even remember where Melissa was during restaurant war. No, I think Melissa was on Kevin's team, but I could be right. I thought it was Gregory, it was Gregory and Leanne and Malarkey and Stephanie were on their

restaurant. Okay, my memory. Don't ever, don't ever ask me to be on a churrie or a witness for anything because I just make shit up. I'm like, that midler did steal the diamond. She did. And then she sold cocaine. And then Shelley Long came along and hot wired a car and they ran off

together. That's how it happened, officer. I thought that Melissa did her best work cooking with Danny Davido. That was gonna be the power couple. I mean, Rea Perlman did get jealous. What's it got past that? Sheth, today you and your C-shaps are gonna Florence to shop at the Ametrocazor Centrale, after which we'll all laugh about how you can't speak Italian and don't understand anything greetings you just bought. Ha ha! Pretty much. I wrote, you're going to the hub of something somewhere you don't understand anyway, so good luck, steepers. Steepers. It all comes down to this. One of you will walk away with a $250,000 grand prize from

our friends at Sapat, Grino! Wonderful tuna, for Chuty tuna! I have to say about that one. By the way, the loser has to wear Malarkey's hat. You know, just stick to your guns and don't make this easy and also have some fun. I mean, I mean, some of us, I guess some of us have had a little easy in life. I guess like my son, for instance, who was raised in the cradle of wealth and had all the opportunities in the world to become a chef just like his father and he chose to become a mixologist. I guess he didn't take it easy either.

Because he's going down a career path that has not a lot of longevity or flexibility or really much of a path. Not really much of a path. It's more of just a step you take and then that's it and then you die. A long slide down. A long slide down. It's a path made out of a slide which just goes lower and lower into your father's depression. Okay.

You ever see that movie, Lord of the Rings and they throw a ring in the volcano? Imagine that his career is the ring and the volcano is life. So there. Oh God, I just tore a tag off my shirt that has just been scratching the fuck out of my love handles. And finally I was strong enough to do it guys. I mean finally I've built up the finger strength to rip it off and now I have a big hole where my love handle is is So things are going great over here You don't have to say to that I have to say to that What a fortuna atu-ti

Fortunatuna Everybody Natalie Joe Blair and tootie Okay, so they all get their respective cars to go to Fortune, Georgina and Melissa and Leanne are talking and Leanne's taking harsh notes. And, you know, I think anybody who watches this show is terrified for Melissa because Leanne is very, very bossy. But Melissa knows that.

So she knows how to deal with her. She deals with her pretty well. I have to say. Yeah, Melissa's way of dealing with Leanne is nodding in a non-committal way and looking in a different direction. Because Leanne's like, um, so, uh, I made a noctopus in a pressure cooker and it's perfect. So, uh, what I'm saying is 3000 noctuples and 200 pressure cookers and we're set for the entire meal. Am I right? Am I right? And let's just like, yeah, yeah she's just kind of stairs off into space like what am I gonna say? Oh my gonna get out of this So then Balarki is with Stephanie in his card. He's just such a jackass as usual

He's like well to be honest. I'm proud. I'm excited and I didn't think you'd make it this far I've made sure change in the most key This is why people started typing notes instead of just writing them down, because now my most key looks stupid. So thanks for that. Yeah, Stephanie's basically like, I don't think a lot of people thought I would get this far, but I don't really care because I did.

I did, I made it. I made it. So excited. Yeah. So excited. Yeah. So excited. So she's going to make a monskatofe. Oh wait. No, don't wait.

I was just reminding myself that I took pictures of all the food because I'm too lazy to spread it down. Okay. Did you mean to take all those photos instead of writing it down like Malakian is milaskeying? So it's definitely going to make. Thudders instead of writing it down like Malakian is muskine So it's not having to make well, she's there. I don't even really know yet I think they're just like thinking about things. I don't know she wants to make food that she likes That like represents her no the usual shit. So Kevin's me one the other car Kevin's like you know

It's been a long time since I've been a sous chef But I'll do whatever you need me to do but I just want to emphasize it's been a long time since I've been a sous chef, which is implicitly telling you that I'm a very Very capable master chef, so there's that And Valtazia is like oh, oh, Sonia my mother made Luzonia, which was feeling things Um, and I had that in my childhood which reminds people of feelings So I'm gonna do this because of or mind people of feelings Luzonia which reminds people of feelings. So I'm gonna do this because it will remind people of feelings. Los Agna. It can we take that lasagna and sort of like cram it into a ball?

I think that would be a really good direction for it. Los Agna balls, that's what I say. He's like, okay, but listen, what I think you should do, you have to remember, modern and interpretive food, but keep it recognizable. So all these people can spot it before they know what it is Okay, you've been kicked off twice. Why don't you just hear you up over there? And I don't think Voltajou is looking for fucking advice from you sir

It's like what I always told the flat attendance when I flew grandpap is airlines. I want my food. I want it now So have it quick and ready So they go to the market and they have one hour to spend there and My food, my wife, ma'am! So have it quick and ready. So they go to the market and they have one hour to spend there. And- By the way, start interrupt, but like, they've drive all the way to Florence, just to spend one hour at the market and then turn around and go back.

I mean, that seems ridiculous. Let them have like two hours for crying out loud. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know the geography So I was like wow look at them. I love the car I just feel like I just feel like they did their owed two hours like why not why aren't you giving the extra hour and Florence Let them have it let them have it. I mean Melissa's gonna get lost and I'm not Melissa Stephanie's gonna get lost like five times over, you know, she'll wind up on that bridge I'm not Melissa. Stephanie's gonna get lost like five times over, you know, she'll wind up on that bridge

Punta vacu I think that was called Kevin's just gonna go into every store like you want to sign this for a 50,000 extra freaking fire miles He's just gonna be knocking over all the products as he like flies around with his arms out like We Which store has little bags of peanuts? Mom, make it work. Okay. So, yeah, they're in the market and Melissa, she wants to get duck, but she finds what she calls,

like, squab-like birds. So she gets those. And she gets a bunch of octopus and persimmons and stuff like that, which is exciting. And Malarkey just keeps passing things, Greg. Oh, yes, yes, for Genie mushrooms. Oh my God, but it's a walnut. Oh my God, look at that.

It's a tomato. You want me to get that? And Leanne is being an aggressive helper. Like, she's doing that thing where she's not really helping, but she's being loud about her helping so that way she gets credit for helping You know, so she's like you do microchives. Okay, you need a cilantro. No, lemongrass. No, okay, Riggla Just want to double those wants to go back to the microchives. I'll be sure no microchives. Okay I'm gonna say like no, no, we don't need any of that. But not any wallnuts. You can't do wallnuts

Plaster do you want to possibly build a wall? Because you might want to build a wall for fun. No plaster. Okay. Do you want this? Do you want this souvenir t-shirt that says I went to Florence and all I got was this t-shirt? Because it's good. It's hilarious. I'm going to buy this t-shirt that says I'm with stupid. Anything for you at all? Candy wall nuts. Do you want the snow globe? There's a snow globe Of the Renaissance do you want this snow globe? I'm asking for the last time. I just want to make sure Yeah, so Stephanie's like well, I guess we got everything you know, I'm like really positive about the place I'm in right now and that can be the difference between winning and losing so

Yay positivity That can be the difference between winning and losing, so... Yay positivity! Really feeling it. So, they go back to Tuscany, and then it's the next morning, and Melissa is very concerned about getting her Octopus tender, and Brian is like, you're doing octopus? I'm doing octopus too. Well, there's gonna be a lot of storytelling in my dishes. A lot of heart and soul in that octopus. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. You go, the stories need to come true. Which is such a weird, I guess, he meant on the plate, but it's such a weird way to put it.

So in the kitchen, Stephanie's setting up, everybody's getting ready in the kitchen, you know. And Melissa is charring her octopus because she wants to do some barbecue. Yeah. Well, she's doing it, yeah. barbecue with like a sauce, a char siu sauce, or a char siu, or a char siu, I don't know, sauce.

I'm just reading through my notes here. I'm like, and they're cooking. And there's chocolate. And Malarkey comes in. And of course Malarkey is an annoying like Rume Antwer. He's like, hello, she's, I'm like, and they're cooking. And they're still cooking. And Malarchi comes in. And of course Malarchi is an annoying, like, room mentor. He was like, hello, chef. I'm like, you know, just walk into a room and say, hey, everyone, you don't even have to say anything.

You just show up and be like, hey, I'm here. Like, you don't have to like make an announcement. Like, you are trying to take over. Guy Fieri's slot on the Food Network. Yeah, he's always auditioning. He's the guy in the office to always bring donuts. But then he's like, oh my god, Did you see how much your donuts running eight? Yeah, he's that fucking guy. Well then he'll also tell you how to eat the donut and which which donut you should like

Oh, you're gonna like that donut. You're gonna like that one. You should have that one You're gonna like that one, but I don't even I don't want a plum donut. No, you should have that donut And then you have it and you're like but I wish I had to talk with donut It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's come Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parents life, but come on Someday's parenting is unbearable. I love my kid But is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting.

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We love you guys! So then, um, let's see, Voltajia is stabbing his meat. It's terrifying. He's just stabbing it. He's slicing beats. Then he winds up slicing beats. Looks like a crime scene back here And Stephanie's gonna make a sticky toffee pudding which I was like no, I don't know why but my first thought was

Because it just sounds like something my mima would make and then or at least you pull that your tooth or something and I don't know. I'm just waiting for Stephanie because I like her. Yeah, yeah I was I was also worried because you just had to deal with Malarkey who's like just being annoying. Stephanie's menu tells a story and we're going to tell that story in a book by the fire with my crazy face. We are ying and yang. It's like you're dumb. Okay so Melissa makes a pasta and she tells us how she's to work at Delphino's and her job was to make pasta and she had to spend the whole days, you know, cutting onions and stuff. Mm-hmm.

And then Brian is cooking some stuff in Kevin's like, bravo, Toggio. I know him well enough to know that he's on pins and needles, which is something that we put into coach class on Grand Papies Airlines. Just keep the people having fun. Yeah, it just to be specific. Neither pins nor needles are currently allowed on airplanes. Okay, read the website. He's now an ambassador for his Granddad's airline.

If we don't finish, this train is going to come off the triax. It's like, okay, Kevin, thanks for being here. So Melissa is like, wow, this train is going to come off the triax. It's like, it's OK, Kevin. Thanks for being here. So Melissa is like, wow, this is so fresh. The feathers are still on here. First grove. And Stephanie's making some pasta. And she's telling us that she learned this dish from Barbara Lynch. And she's like, it's the first dish I made that wasn't

pasta with red sauce. People die for it. Yeah, it made me super excited about what pasta could do. See, look at all the excitement on my face. Yeah. So then Brian is, Brian's doing some, he's making a chocolate thing and he asks, he's like, so we, I guess like Kevin's working on a bunch of it. So Brian asked Kevin how the hazelnut ice cream component is going and Kevin's like, I don't want to alarm you, but this is going to be delicious. Yeah.

Like, you know, it sounds very delicious, but I already hate it. I hate it. Like, I hate this entire dish now because of Kevin. Yeah, he had that special spice. Oh, and I just, it could just occurred to me later on. Well, I'll get to it when it comes up. Okay. I won't jump. I won't jump to it right now. I'll, I'll, I'll keep it in the back of my mind. A very important observation. Okay. So Leanne's like, Leanne's stirring custard because Melissa is going to make a tea tiramisu. Mm-hmm. And it becomes

drama later. So she's like, um, I think this needs more tea powder and thinly and dumps like a whole bag of tea powder Do you want some microgreens in there? Chives? Candy bullets. Candy bullets. What do you like? You know what this should taste great with? A scarf made out of sunny side-up bags. I can just throw that in here if you'd like. Should we put this in pressure cooker? It'll be perfect. Anything? No. Okay.

So then Stephanie is brazing some veal and Malarkey is very scared because it's not a very fat piece of meat and he is worried that it's not gonna work out but at the same time he's like but Stephanie's made this before so I have to trust her. I'm like you could say something like say at least like at least at least warn her you know like yeah he does he does give her that face you you know, with his big cartoon face, he's like, that's the luck he's giving her with his teeth just punched. Tom comes in and Voltaugh is like, well, you said you needed more feeling the story.

So look at me, I'm feeling things. said you needed more feeling the story so look at me I'm feeling things Okay, I've given you fancy stuff Is that good? Is that good? Did I win? Is that hard soul? I blacked out did I win? So this is one of Tom's best segments ever because this was the like the segment where Tom just decided to one up everyone

It was great. It came out of the store. It was so good. Like every single person, he's like, yeah, I did that. I did that. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, did that too. Because Voltaj is making fish stew. And he's like, it's native to Troskini in terms of, yeah.

Well, I know, because that's a dish I make every season. So, yeah, yeah. Brian's like, well, literally, the only time I came to Italy was to learn how to make this dish whole. So there's a lot of heart and soul in it. I mean, I spent hours and hours and days and days and minutes and minutes and I just lived and breathed this cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, and yeah, I'm like, yeah, yeah, make it all the time.

Yeah, make it, actually stayed home to make it. Stayed home to learn it from food wishes. So that was a good internet link. Yeah, so thanks. Actually, it turns out your brother has a great rest before it and I use his. So in a certain way, you're kind of I'm basing it on sort of comparing yours with your brothers. So then he's like, ah, so Stephanie, how are you doing? Depressed? Mortified? Morbid mood? What? What are you feeling? No? No actually I'm in a really good place Planning a menu is like I mean look like you have to put what matters? Okay, so I'm doing a veil praised with milk and lemon because I learned it from Barbara And I mean she's just so amazing. He's like oh, yeah, I made that dish. I mean I do it with pork

Yeah, I've done it. I did it before Barbara. So yeah, fuck her. Yeah, I know the dish I mean I've done it with pork. I mean, I would never do it with veal. I mean, only an idiot does that. But luckily, you've got a sous chef who would warn you from falling into those pitfalls. So yeah, but I did it. I've done it many times.

Many, many times. It's great. I pretty much invented it. So then Melissa, she's like, you know, I want to take food from the region, and I found persimmons. Oh, I love for men. Persimmons. Is that for men, persimmons.

Is that a sweet one, which I use all the time? Yeah, I actually introduced persimmons to Italy. Yeah, I actually planted all those trees. So you're sort of like cooking with me. Actually, one time when I was starting out, I actually cooked persimmons for Richard Simons, which was actually the most amazing memory I've ever had. So good luck with this dish.

Yeah, he actually invited all his, all of his family, so I actually had to figure out how many persimmons were persimmons. So he's like, wow, Chinese. Huh, I don't know if anyone else is gonna do Chinese, mine, but good luck with that. Yeah, I'm trying to think if anyone's doing a Chinese Italian,'m gonna think let's see have I ever done it no it's probably a reason for that so yeah all right good luck with doing something that I've never done as I'm patested so then Melissa goes to check on her tier and me see you and she's like yeah did we make an extra one who doesn't make an extra one what

is wrong with me she's like well, well, these are dry. They're not soaked enough. So... Dan's like, should I not have put in those chives in cilantro? Mo... Liam! I actually put in a skateboard that I saw a kid on with delicious. So I hope that didn't must be picked up. I actually found a diorama when we're in Florence and I just sort of chopped it up and put it into all the terms. So, um, they get to have dinner and they get to go to a special place for dinner and they're

like, where are we going? Where could this possibly be? And it's a shop. Oh, actually, I guess that's the wrong place, but they're in like a little cabin. Yeah, and so we see Tom is wearing a little beanie and he's cooking outside and then we see Gail at a pot and just, and then Padmama Padma has like big glasses on and she's like tasting food like Mmm, mmm. I know how to do this well guys. I was in a college junior commercial And I put why am I crying I started crying this part, okay?

I started crying at this part, okay? I don't know. I don't know. Well, because I thought it was so sweet that they were all like cooking and they were cooking for the chefs and they were being so nice. I cried a lot in this episode. I don't know what, sometimes things just come over me and I'm like, and I don't cry enough. So when I do it, my eyes get really swollen and like it hurts my face and then I go

look in the mirror and I'm like, just look wrong you know but I was crying I don't know if that's very touching okay Wow chefs you made a grown podcaster cry You made an extreme they bit in person sob Congratulations chef so they go in and Melissa's like no way you're cooking and Tom's like huh way So they go in and Melissa's like no way you're cooking and Tom's like, huh way Voltage goes oh That was great joke

Yeah guys, I'm I'm just doing some sort of like a rustic farm as cooking, you know Just reminding you that no matter how hard and now all the effort you put into your meal tomorrow This is probably just tastes better, just me throwing some meats into a fire and pulling them out, just after it lists, you know? And I love Fattenas cooking aviator glasses. She always wears those on Instagram. She's like, look, you can tell I'm serious about cooking because I'm wearing yellow-tanted aviators. Hi guys! Thanks for coming. Come in. Make yourself at home. You just missed my dear friend, Alie Wong. So it feels a little funny in here. That's why. Stephanie goes to Gail's little room and she's like, Gail, all to your kids like to cook. And Gail's like, well, the little one is too little, but he sure does like to shove his face.

I wonder where he got that from in my right other room. And also Padma was like, you guys want to help? What an honor. That's sarcastic. I normally enjoy David Chang and Jonathan Waxman, not you idiots. So they all sit down for dinner and Gail, wait, I think Padma made like a chutney, right? Well, so Padma's like, I made a rib elito with Indian spices, and I think in ginger chutney with Gurchi's raviola, pretty simple stuff, not that Stephanie could do it. And what did Gail make? She was, Gail, what did you make? And by a make, I mean, embarrass yourself with.

Gail's like, well, I made a chick or a salad. Oh, wow, you assemble lettuce leaves. Great. And some roasted artichokes. Difficult gal. Whoa, you're really up in the difficulty level. We should rename the show Top Putter in the oven. Uh, too bad this place didn't have a microwave for poor Gail to work a magic with. She was gonna top it with some gobbanzo beans, but you couldn't figure out how to open a can without an opener. So Tom shows off his squab and uh, white buffaloes on ya. Oh my god. It looks amazing. It really did. And Stephanie's, you know know basically they all love it and stuff So Tom's like so how's prep going and Padma's like so Brian was the second time around or the third time around

Yeah, well she goes is it which one's easier? Well, she says the table she goes so chefs how different was it the second time or Brian for you? was it the second time O'Brien for you? The third! And he's like, well, I've got my third child now, so everything's very different when you're a father. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I guess you just have a little bit more heart and soul. Wow, the enrollment here's amazing.

And then Padma just like turns to gal. I guess, by the way Gail your Supremes are fantastic Gail's just like waiting for the other shoot to fall and And you look stupid, oh good. I couldn't Had to let your Supremes are fantastic. I'm sorry. I meant the supreme's are fantastic. God, I love their songs Gale, did you make something tonight? Gail Tom was just telling us about how he made a traffit lasagna with squab in the wood fired oven

And I was saying how I made a rib elita with Indian spices and a And a chutney with on bread. What were you saying again? You put some chikari on a plate? Was that what you were saying? So then Gail comes out with her piece of rosison, the ricotta tart. And I was like, okay, she saved it. Because I was like, come on Gail, come on. I mean, you know, we just make fun of you for fun But like we're really obsessed with you in real life. So it's like come on gal And then she whipped out that ricotta tart. Yes I make yeah Yeah, this looks delicious now remind me how you made it

You took a tub of ricotta and put it on a plate and top it with some sugar and baked it wow sounds really advanced and So Melissa's like wow, I'm seeing how much energy they put into this and Tom grilled the squab and I thought, wow, why didn't I think of that? So I'm going to do it. It's like, yes. I got scared. I got scared that she was like pivoting and she was changing and she's going to try to be

like Tom. I got really nervous at that point. Yeah, but then you never know with Tom, you know, because then if she had done her own way, he'd be like, well, I just showed him how to perfectly grill a squab and then you pants here at home. Yeah, I mean, you know, like, what's next? Are you going to start wearing a beanie while you grill your squab? I mean, what's going on here? So, Stephanie gives a call home, but it's to Kristen and just last week I was saying wasn't she friends with somebody in her season? Well, yes, and I thought answer yeah, and I thought it was what's her face, but this is the answer was Kristen of course was Kristen So that solved we did it. Yeah, so stupid

You should have So Stephanie's like I think my chances of winning are one out of three And then Melissa facetimes her mom. Out, listen now. So it's like, oh my god, you called me. You called me. It's like, okay, mom, calm down. Okay, okay, okay. And then Voltajio is on the phone and guess who he calls.

His brother. Yeah, Michael's like, dude, I'm so proud of you. And I'm so excited that we get to square off together tomorrow on the show. Oh, whoa. Oh yeah, they invited me. So see you there. They actually said they already gave me the victory.

So that's cool. He's so heroin chic. The other role-totso. So did you make heroin? Everyone's gonna love that. Just cook some hair. Put it on a spoon. Serve it up. They're gonna love it, bro. Yeah, seriously So then So now we're back in the kitchen and guess what the tiramisu are still a little dry So now I'm like, oh, it's over, it's over from Melissa.

The Tirmisu's are fucked up because she has only a small amount of time to remake them and make them sad, etc. Yeah, and of course Malarkey enters the kitchen like this. Who wants to make some money? Oh, I'd like somewhere in San Diego his wife just like sat up straight and bad He's back It's like the shining the Malarkey, Ang so Leanne's like what where'd you guys go to dinner last night Melissa says that the Judges catch for them and Lee I go shut the fuck off Did they need any chives or a rugula or cilantro? Can't eat walnuts anybody anybody get him on us

They did they need some novelty sunglasses that said 2020 And then we start to see their menus. Okay, now my screenshots can come into play. Well, damn it, where are they? I swear to you, I had them pulled up. Okay. So now we see the menus while they give their little monologues under like, oh, well, my brother thinks he's so great. Well, listen to this menu when they're showing the menu.

So Melissa's menu, her first course is going to be Charles Suglade octopus, glazed octopus. Her second course is going to be squash agnol- agnolody with szechuan chili oil. Her third course is grilled squab with persimmon, porcini, fermented black bean, and her fourth course is Hong Kong milk tea tiramisu if the end doesn't fuck it up. Her fourth course is make a butcher cry to your misu. Oh, don't make me cry. Save that to the end. Save that to the end.

Okay. So, yeah. So, yeah. So, you just interject, by the way, just interject whenever the menus come up because I actually do not write down the menus. So, should I tell, does anybody here? I never do that. No, I like it. Go through through go through the other two menus as well

And then you can hear my terrible Italian being red. I was like why did I set myself up for this? Ronnie Ronnie Ronnie. I have to say Your Suprems were fantastic So that was hers and then it cuts over to Kevin and Voltacio. Kevin's like, I am gonna knock out this seafood! So Brian's menu first course is Beats with Tonato, Spazio Ruggola, Bonito and Aori. And the second course is Lasagna with Wild Boar, Bullen Ains. And the third course is doing a monkfish with And the third chorus is doing a monkfish with a kachukiyo broth, octopus, squid, ink, fokaccia, which is like nod to your brother, ink restaurant. Fourth chorus is melted chocolate mousse, hazelnut, ice cream, coffee, and cardamom, soil,

which sounds like a cow. So it's called a thick soil. How about that? It's a drink. You can have beverage. It's going to be club soda and vodka with ice all the way up to the top, three limes and muddled mint cai, called the Voltaggio and Italy cocktail. Well, so then Stephanie is making for her first course,

Catefi wrapped shrimp with answering syrup and her second course is Teletio Capilletti in roasted chicken broth. Her third course is milk braised veal, parisian yoke, lemon rosemary sauce, and a fourth course, sticky toffee pudding, and yogurt ice cream. Little known fact, Gales intramirosacrity miscalled the sticky toffee puddings. And the nickname in High School was silky and yokey, so there's that So then uh Stephanie is talking about her and she's like oh god, this is an idea. I might have to do my Agnolata in a pan Um, but then pan frying the shrimp makes it so time sensitive. I don't know what to do Malarkey's face is just like Yeah, he's just in a monkey time face the entire time.

And Brian is talking about how he's making this lasagna and he's like, by the way, his lasagna looks so amazing. I can't even deal. And so he's, he's like, he's like, oh, I want my lasagna to be a shock. Hey, bro, sorry. Just so you know, I just made lasagna for the judges, just for the fun of it. So I said it was sort of like a Valtagio thing So I'm fitting room the shock or anything anyway great great have a great cook have a great cook I want a shock. I'm so I'm gonna serve it with squid ink for Cartier

Oh, I was like mmm black bread delicious Actually it reminds me of cake So I definitely wanted to like dive into an entenminz. Do they still have entenminz by the way? Entenmin. Do they still have Entenments by the way? Entenments, yeah definitely. I love that. I love that black brick of cake, that chocolate cake. Just eat it in your hands, rip it apart. When I was a kid it tasted so good that I had it as an adult and I was like, it tastes sort of like chemicals but it's like it's so good and I love, you know what I love? The Entenments cookies, those little cookies, mm-hmm, the chocolate chip

cookies. Oh yeah, and no I didn't like that. I just like the Entomans Cookies, the Little Cookies, the Chocolate Chip Cookies. Oh yeah, and no, I didn't like that. I just like the big loaves. The loaves of sweet, the sweet loaves, like the chocolate one I ate and the swirl one, I used to eat the swirl one. I have, I actually have an Entomans cookbook because like eight years ago, eight or nine years ago, they sent me, when I was like doing a lot of food blogging,

they sent me like a care package of their cookbook and a bunch of pans. And I made a bunch of things out of the cookbook. It was really fun. And I don't know why I'm sharing this. That's nothing. This pebs were great. The Suprems were great.

Great Suprems gal. So Voltageo is whatever, who cares? So Padma comes in, oh no, Padma's with the chefs, all the chefs. And she's like, happy finale, happy finale. I'm like, okay. You're a pro at math, okay. I hope we have something that sort of savory

in an unksh sort of way. Or as does the Italian say, Spitzioni, gal, Spitzioni, practice it. Gale, I'm so glad you could show up with a glitter curtain over your shoulder. That's really fun. You look like half of a cabaret stage Gale. Congratulations, love your supreme. Wow, it's like Mount Etna just erupted right in front of us, except it's Gale. So Melissa's working on her mushrooms and she's like Mount Etna just erupted right in front of us except it's gal So Melissa's working on her mushrooms and she's like poor Chinese are the second most important mushrooms

I just want to highlight the bounty of Italian ingredients and then the gastricating, you know already Yeah hot mollux freaking stunning my god, of course. I mean she's like freaking stunning. My god. Of course. I mean, she's like a nut dress. She's a genius. Wonderful. And yeah, so we're seeing various judges.

So with those Hunter Lewis, the editor of Food and Wine, and then we see Nilo and lots of people. And then back in the kitchen, Brian is now Brian Valtagio. For the finale, Brian Valtagio gives us a Brian Valtagio laugh finale because he just starts laughing nervously and he can't stop I feel like every time they cut to him he's like Kevin's like don't be nervous, we've got all the components. Let's see, you've got your wheel, you've got your boson,

you've got your first class tickets whenever you fly. Sorry, that's me. So now, so my favorite guest judge is the guy Tony is his name, whose hair is sticking straight up. He looks like a static wing commercial. Like when the girl takes off her sweater and her hair is sticking straight up, love it. It's just so funny because he has mad scientist hair, but he has like condescending chef talk. So he's like, hmm, making spaghetti

in Italy is a bold move. And I personally would recommend only finishing it in the sauce for the last 30 seconds. I'm like, sir, your hair is standing out. I know. It's like only finishing the sauce and the left. Ow! I just got shocked. I just got shocked. Please don't touch me. Well, he's in the middle of doing a static electricity, you know, experiment for the kids on PBS. Yeah. So the first courses are all served together, all three are served together. And the butcher guy is the cutest fucking thing. He looks like he's in like a waiter at a fun family Italian restaurant. He's like a bullfight, like an Italian bullfighter basically. So we obviously have met him before because when they all saw him, he was like,

carne, I remember that there was a quick fire. Was that last? When was the when was that? I don't remember it wasn't this season, right? I was not remember but that was so fun. We did that for like 10 weeks just going right. Karni! So they all served their food and Stephanie. So then I guess really sad because Stephanie is saying the her I mean her first of all her dish looked dish looked amazing. Her catafi wrapped shrimp. She said that she made it because it reminds her of her late brother

because she used to fry him coconut shrimp. And then of course everyone's crying. Everyone's crying at the table. Me too. And that's just the weather. Yes, I was crying like a fucking idiot. I had to rewind it. And I was like, God, I have to hear this again.

I don't want to hear it again. Yeah, it was really sad. And then Melissa serves her octopus. And she's saying how she wants to marry her Asian flavors in Chinese heritage. And Daria was like, bravi, bravi, carna, bravi. Bravi, empty plate. Like he lifts his empty plates and everyone.

And I was like, well, if this is how the rest of the meal is going to go, judges table is going to be hard. And so is packing up boxes of extra food for you know who rhymes with mail. You got gale. That's all I'll say. Judges table is going to be very long mainly because gale will probably fall into a food coma that will be impossible to wake her up from So Nilo Nilo thinks that Melissa's octopus was a little too sticky and too sweet Shut up fake gal. We didn't even invite you here. What are you doing here? Yeah, I'm like very anti-Nilo She's so needy and thirsty and every single time she's like piping up first, you know Shut up Nilo. I think she never did her hoisin sauce Hey Neelu remember the time that we went to a restaurant. I had my back to the entire meal. That was great wasn't it

Hey Neelu remember being friends with the celebrity alley-wong you don't that's because you're not Neelu Hey Neelu, did you get invited anyone's wedding from San Pellegrino? Oh, that's too bad because they're our friends from San Palagrino. I'm apparently not yours. And then one of the guests is like her memories. We can feel them. We can taste them. Yeah, I love the Italian chefs. They're like being so poetic every single episode. Yeah, they really are. The food is like a lady who comes up from the pond and touches a bird and says fly away to the world of cuisine. The beet dish was beguiling.

Love the boney, Ocho. That was like the quarter of the night because they kept going back to it. He said your beets were beguiling. By the way, that is like the pinnacle of food culture pretension. The beat dish was beguiling. Yeah.

And Tony static clean is like, everyone has a beat salad, but this takes it to another level. You got it. Hashtag beguiling. So now they're plating the second dish. And Stephanie's got it pretty easy, because she's only got two components. But Melissa is Melissa is behind and God I fall for this every time. I mean I've watched every season of this show you would think that at some point I would get

that everyone's gonna get their play that but I fall for it. Yeah so the dishes come out and they're serving them and so Stephanie serves her to legio and then Melissa puts down her squash and then Brian brings out his lasagna and Patma just goes, wow! Sorry I was just thinking about Gail's deprems from last night. They're fantastic. Well I've made you a lasagna with a wild boar bullet a days. A lot of people know me for a more modernist approach.

Some might call it Solis, which is a lie. So I wanted to take this time to remind you that I have a mother and she cooked for us and she's very special to me. Thank you. Padmicus. Wow! Wow, that was so Solis and lacking heart. It's amazing that you're even standing here in front of us. Can we get your sister here instead? At least she was funny. Can someone take the greeting card out of the target Valentine's Day out of here, please? I'd like to eat. So then Tony is like, uh, pasta is often not made correctly and every single one of these pasta dishes are beautifully made in Padma. Why are you trying to pat down my hair? It was supposed to be going up like that I can't stand it

I'm getting addicted to my finger getting shot that's why it feels so fun so they loved all of these pretty much they say they were all really well balanced and Who's has the thin pastas? That Stephanie, someone's like the pasta, it was so thin. I don't know. I had to have been the Stephanie's because Claire, Claire, the number one female chef in Great Britain, I'm sorry.

That losonio is very elegant. I like the lasonio a lot. Super complex. It's super, it's very, but Melissa's dish is super complex. Unlike Gail's patterns, which we can all agree are boring. I like her. I like her a lot. And Marcus is like, yeah, Melissa's food is completely original. You know, this is stuff none of us have had before. So I was getting my hopes up. And yeah, Andario thought that the Agnolati prepared with Chinese influences were incredible, incredible.

So then they're cooking, they're plating their third dish, and Kevin's like, okay, listen here. Now fire, you're on the bench, cool your up, you're up, colds. And Melissa is, she's like, I'm just like really scared of overcooking my squabs, but then the flame is really low, so I was like, oh no, the flame is low, and she's like, which really works in my advantage, because it's not a regret in them. I was like, that's the first time that's ever happened

where the grill is like fucked up, and it's actually helping them. Yeah, and then Stephanie's telling the larkey, oh god, this meat is eating dry. How do I have dry it? And he's like, maybe you didn't read my face before, but this is what it said. Siddles, listen. Okay, you should listen to my face.

Just add lots and lots of sauce. Lots and lots of sauce. I'm like, oh great, a great and elegant presentation. And so they put in like tons of sauce and Marquise perfect. It's perfect. Oh, that dish is fucked up. That's what that means. Whenever Marquise says something's perfect, It means it's shit And Melissa is using the tweezers now. She's got these clean a tiny circle of persimmons Looks beautiful. So they serve their third course and Melissa presents her grill scrub with persimmons. Wow Let me just say it again as chief wower at the table. I just would like to say wow As chief wow are at the table. I just would like to say wow

Puccini mushrooms Wow and fermented black beans Squa-a something Wow, wow, this is hold on everybody hold for it. This is a fermented wow Melissa, did you mean to include a shot glass that says Florence on it? Oh, damn it, Leanne. So Brian serves his blackened monkfish with calamari toast, his squid ink toast, and Stephanie does her milk braised veal with pervasion yogi. Okay, chefs, you do have one course left and there's a lot riding on dessert and not

Joe's gal, if you know what I'm saying, because everything else was so universally wonderful. So go get in the kitchen and give us some sweets, okay, you dumb poor people out of my face. I guess who's first to talk? Fucking me Lou, okay. She's like, I do not like Squab, but she's made me a Comfort. I'm a Squab Comab convert tell your mommy. Oh Congratulations, neither do you want to know what or something get out of here

And then one of the judges is like persimmons. They're so difficult Never seen them so tiny difficulty on the persimmons gets the gold Ron The persimmons get the gold. Ron, you know what I like about it? You know when you want sweetness, you go to the puree, and when you want meatiness, you go to the portchinis, and when you just want to like see what it sounds like, a plate, just a fork on a plate, you just sort of swirl your fork

around the rims of the plate, and then when you want to go back to the sweetness, you're like, hey, I'm going back to the sweetest. You know, there's just so many options. Unlike, you know, someone who, uh, chose a career in mixology, not a lot of options. I don't know. The Marcus is like the support genus. They're almost, it's a fwagraw reference. It's referencing fwaw. And Tom's like, yes, yes, whoa, whoa, Tom relax.

So they think that the vial was over overcooked, which it was admittedly, and they also dis Stephanie's yoke, which they say is crusty. How dare you people. Hey Nilo, you want to give us a childhood dissertation about what you think about nookie, because we're waiting. So let's see, Brian, Gail's like Brian is showing that he was pushing to give us an all-encompassing experience. Yeah, and then Hunter goes, you know, Brian's bread, it wasn't able to sop the way I wanted it to. I wanted to be big-eyed, but I was just left in a state of unweigh.

It didn't sop the way I wanted it to. Oh, well, you should go talk to Gales. You know it's out of stop. Um, so now's dessert time. Um, Melissa's here. Me too, worked out. So yes. Yes.

And Lee has like phenomenal job. So yes. And Lee has like phenomenal job. Your menu is so amazing. It's minus some candied walnuts But you know what you do you sister good for you You do you I did you the favor of adding some microgreens to that term assume on top? So I think everyone's gonna enjoy that

So Brian's like um, I put a lot of thought into my journey and I'll Like off here and why I'm here for the third time and how somehow three times on top shift I've never won a quick fire and my brother has somehow won every quick fire even on seasons He's not on even my sister won a quick fire and I'm trying not to spiral I'm just gonna say that so everyone knows that I know what card mom tastes like Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm coffee soil. It's absolutely delicious. Mmm. And I would like to say from the back that chocolate dessert is in the shape of a ball. So you're welcome everyone. You're welcome. And Stephanie's like a sticky toffee pudding.

That's true, I didn't even think about that. That was just a ball. I was like, I was like, do it in balls. Trust me. Trust me on this one. Balls. Remember I said I was going to mention something later.

There it was. Yeah, that's a very good good presence. There was up there was a chocolate ball Kevin made his work and he was heard in that kitchen damn it. Yeah, and Kevin was working on that dessert. So there you go Oh, and by the way, we also mentioned it was a multi chocolate moose with hazeln ice cream coffee and cardamom soil So you know, it looked absolutely delicious to me Like I wanted just to have five of those right there. It love as much as we make fun of Brian Valtagio I mean, he is amazing. Okay. He is amazing and everything he made looked absolutely wonderful But that being said I am so done with desserts having things like a cardamom soil. Yeah, I can't or Or a like it has a sand or a soil just call it a crumble please. Dude, soils and foams, I can't.

And I'm someone who loves being pretentious. I love, love, love being pretentious, okay, but just stop calling it soils and sand or whatever. But it's like it's like overdone pretentious, you know, it's done, it's over. It's like when people say, oh my god, that menu is very 80s It's like that's what's gonna be saying very soon to soils and foams. I just feel like that soil didn't stop the way I wanted it to So it's definitely presents her sticky toffee pudding and she's like, I'm really proud of this I had a donut pop up and they make me smile and Padma just looks at her like, oh god

Can someone get this woman an investor pop up shop I'm so embarrassed for you. It's funny because around the office. We called gal a donut pop up I'm sorry, that's donut popper Seriously throw one up the air. She's like a poodle with the tree That's just a little inside joke. have with my dear friend, Alibong. So then Melissa presents her Hong Kong milk tea tea. I'll be with you soon. And Tom kind of gives a weird look.

I love just watching Tom's face. Yeah. And Pat was like, I would like to take a moment to thank everybody for such an amazing season. And someone pretty sent over a flyswatter for this annoying woman sitting to my left. Me? Yes, me, Lou, you. Do I need to spell it out?

Oh wait a second. You need to look like she's about to weigh in on something. Let me just turn my chair around. Okay. Speak to the back. And me, Lou's like, Brian started with Earth and he ended with Earth. I mean, he really wrapped his arms around death and the basic human life cycle.

Can I get an amen from anybody here? That would be great. Great insight, dumb dumb. And Tom is having an issue with Brian's dessert. He's like, you know, we all expected a liquid center with something that would just spill out, spill out. Yeah, thanks Padma, spill out, yes. Spill out.

You notice that Padma just like jumped in there. Weren't you the one who said that once every episode, Padma just like yells something out? Yeah, she's always trying to finish people sentences like that. That's what she did right there. She looked like a spill out. I got a time. I said it. I guess you weren't quite fast enough, Nilo. So the Mili, she like the toffee was moist and tender. I mean, it didn't really involve the life cycle or, you know,

burnt it at, but whatever. Good job. Good job, tender person, Stephanie. Good job. Neal, I have to say I really enjoyed your supremes from last night. Oh, that's right. You weren't invited to our dinner. Sorry. That was Gale. So they're talking about the milk tea or misu and Gale's like, it was made beautifully, but that's all. It was made beautifully. I'll save my shiviness for later when I'm obviously stamping for Voltageo to take this whole thing. And then Hunter goes, you know, I just, I wanted another layer of bitterness, like maybe from a spice Right, right, right, I agree. I agree.

Spill out. I want to try to spit out. Remember that? Yeah, bitterness. Right, right, right, the guy I think, right. And then butcher guy is like, Oh, he deserves very good. But my favorite is Melissa because it respected the tradition of Italy. I was like, oh my god.

And crying again. Just just making me cry, baby. I'm gonna be sent to an asylum. Yeah, he's like crying. Yeah, he's like, Melissa made an interpretation. I'm saying it as if she said this in English. She was all on the Italian. Melissa made an interpretation of one of our traditions

and she made it from the heart. That makes me a very emotional. And Pamela just goes ah I'm defending to care back in the kitchen mark he's being wacky he's like hey there's a twist they need one more dish yeah just kidding guys well everyone I want to thank you all for making it through a meal with this embarrassing butcher who's crying. I'm in a grown butcher crying over a tiramisu right?

Perfecto not really. We saw the story of all of your lives on these plates. I mean Melissa the heart, Stephanie the Sara, Philt Philtasia basically you fed us an iPhone Wow, I we saw so many wonderful things. I mean Stephanie had so much immersion and Melissa Cool haircut and Brian You're strange how your lasagna actually spelled out the letters not Michael. That's amazing so spelled out the letters, not Michael. That's amazing. So they go to Melissa's octopus and he's like,

on point. The love tears. And then the Christmas, the tentacle was on point. The Christmas, the tentacle. I'll tell you who has a Christmas tentacle. Anyone, anyone want to finish that joke for me? No, fine. So then they move on to Stephanie. And Stephanie is like, you know, I thought if I was going to cook with my heart,

it was a food memory. It wasn't my cooking, but it smiles. It makes me smile through through my tears when I remember it. Tom's like, did it already? That was someone I did it. I don't remember that. I loved making that dish. I did it. And then Gail starts to cry. She thinks, you know, she thought the texture was perfect and she loved the arugula. Get it together Gail.

We're gonna have to call you a butcher at this point. Um, who's O.T.M.? Tom? Oh, Tom. Who's this new character who came in the 11th hour named OTM? Oh wow, so Tom's like, whoa, you know what? You nailed the crispiness, wow, you really nailed it. And Pat was like, Brian Hunter said your beats would be giling, then with your balls at

his head and tell them he's not picked. It was really fun. What a nerd, am I right? be giling. Then we threw balls at his head and told him he's not picked. It was really fun. What a nerd, am I right? I said, you know what, the giling, this piece of bread in your face here, enjoy throwing it at you. So moving on to second chorus, Tom's like, we had three great pastas. So check that box, three great pastas. Yeah. Yeah,, three great pastas. Yeah, it was great. And you'll just like, Stephanie, your Broto was so rich and dense.

Your Broto's rich and dense, fuckface. Sorry, got away from me a little bit. But you know what, Brian, sometimes you can't get a presentation from a dish, and that's fine. I know the comments had to hurt you last week, calling know, calling you soulless, which you still are and You know, lacking emotion, which you still do, but you prove that you could cook with what looks like a heart Which basically makes you a culinary sociopath. So congratulations Yeah, that was by the way so cruel of Tom because I thought that lasagna looked beautiful the way he sliced it and the way he presented it

And he goes, you know, sometimes you just can't get a presentation out of a dish. And that's fine. I was like, damn. You know, Brian was like inside like, whoa, I thought it was actually pretty beautiful, but oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Just so you know, I know we asked for heart and soul, but it doesn't mean we want you to actually cook with soul fish and heart of our joke. That doesn't count. Same thing.

And then Gilmue Simulissa. And then, Gail Moussum, Melissa. And she's like, thanks for showing us how naturally two cultures can work hand in hand as long as they're in a dish, which was delicious. So thank you. And then it's like, I love the crispy bits of skin. Now, Mili, the rest of the episode just talks about how she loves anything crunchy in anything. Okay.

Oh, wow. It sounds real big-guiling. So now we go to the third course and Tom's like, you know, you're frying your mung fish, little dry, little dry. I kind of feel like if I cooked it it'd probably be better just because that seems to be the way it is. And he was like, the bread was very dramatic, and I wanted it to be as delicious as it looked, but it was terrible. It was terrible.

Fortunately, it was horrible. Sorry. Did you order to do Stephanie's neokey? No, that's next. It was basically like, like Gail trying to put on slippers in the morning. Yeah, balanced. Thank you, Papa. Thank you. What's the opposite of Beguiling? Gail? I think the opposite is... No, no, I struggled with that. I could tell! But Melissa, your dish gave me a deep feeling of just being here, the bird, the mushrooms, the chestnut.

You know what made me really feel like I was in Italy? That souvenir Italian flag you put into the middle of your dish. Now why did you do that? I think that was actually Liam. My movie goes The Mushrooms were a revelation. Best of all. Everyone was gobsmacked by the mushrooms. I mean it was like the last story of the Bible crime of revelation. I mean just amazing. Speak for yourself, stupid. Antisert. And Nila's like sticky tothing putting. Happens to be my mother-in-law's favorite dessert. So I'm always having it. I can see that. You know why? Because I love crunchy little bits of brittle. It's a crunchy bit. I love it. The only thing that would have made this better with some crackers and some chicken skin. I'm gonna have to ask for that recipe. Well, good luck with that. Probably messed it up, Nilo.

It goes like a Brian, your dark chocolate. That's all I care about. I mean, you played off that kinoch. So perfectly, just spectacular. And Melu, Melu loved Melu and Melu. God bravo. Melu loved the lovely cloud of milk tea and the tear me so. It made Dario cry. Tears, actual tears. It was so embarrassing for him and the country of Italy. Am I right, everyone? He has since been shoved in a trunk and then given cement, cement slippers for the ocean. We won't be seeing him again. Yeah, the, uh, the big butcher was crying, the big bad butcher cried over your term asoo. I mean, who would have thought there would actually be tears in a tiramisu? Am I right?

So then the chefs give their final, please basically. Melissa's like, as chefs, we're artists. And you know, I could, I just hope you can really see her journey. And it just makes me so happy to be here. I'm just so, so grateful to be here. And Volta, she was like, yeah, well, you know, I know this was my third time. But out of all times, this is the most special because I feel things. Well, because I feel things.

Oh, because I've really developed my heart and the soul. I've enjoyed every moment, even when Kevin tried to turn my food into a giant ball. And Stephanie just says that she was really suffering from severe depression since her brother passed and it also hurt the people around her. Of course, I'm like yeah and yeah that's just yeah that's just like I did a lot of damage the people that love me by being so sad and I didn't know how to say I'm okay and this is my way

of saying I'm okay it's also your way of saying that you it's also your way of saying you still can't cook Indian food just so you know okay that's the word I describe your food most this season. Thank you for all your sweat, effort, heart, and sunny side-up scabs. Now we have a very big decision to make. Go away! Yeah, get out of here, you crazy kids. So now they start to judge. So three great first courses.

Okay, so what do we think? Who do we like the most? So Gail picks Brian's, because there was just so much acid and earthiness and you guys say it again, the Giling Beats. Am I right everyone? The Giling. But you know, it made me feel like I don't need the Vio.

And Tom's like, well. Oh yeah because Padmas whole thing, Padmas whole thing is, um, uh, God I forget the name of that dish, the Beats thing, but she normally has the Vio version. She's like, this is my favorite dish, it's my favorite dish. So I'll be like more than everyone else. Okay, even with Beats, I'm just gonna like it so much, because I just love this preparation the most. Totally turned me against Veil. Thanks a lot, big

eyelers. So then we go to the second dish and Neelu loved the capillari. Wow, that was just wonderful. The crunchiness in the crunch and the crunch. I'm gonna make it for my mother-in-law. The crunchiness in the crunch and the crunch. I'm gonna make it for my mother-in-law. And Gale's like, well, um, Voltagio's dish, well of course more traditional, blue me away. God Gale, stop stumping. Yeah. I'm just sad that it looked like such a piece of shit on the plate, am I right? I mean, I know about lasagna forever, but this is lasagna for no one, because it was so ugly. Am I right? New one, new one. But Melissa gave me something new and exciting and the beautiful crackle of chicken skin.

Oh my god, I just loved it! Don't you love the rush of getting something new and exciting? As opposed to when you want a new gal and you just got Nilo instead. So the third dish, Nilo is like, I loved Melissa's porcini. That was perfection. It was basically crunch on top of something. Perfect. Poor girl. When she heard that they would be serving porcini, she went outside and tried to take a bite of an actual porch. Big difference, girl. And guess who girl likes? Shocker, but Brian, Brian gave us the most delicate, does she say prosciutto?

How'd I write that? Well there was that monkfish, but I thought that Brian's was sort of a eating dry, a little bit monkfish. Dry? Wasn't the meat, eight that ate dry as Stephanie's? Oh damn, there's too much food, there's too much food. With a VLH dry, but his monk monkfish also Tom had said that the monkfish was little dry too okay and he's like well you know look obviously Stephanie struggled which is too bad because she was on a roll here

so that's too bad so now they go to dessert and Gail thought that Stephanie's dessert was more homey and fun well of course she feels that I mean, sticky chopping putty is sticky, sticky chopping pudding is basically the dress barn of desserts. Am I right? I mean, the only shocker here was that she wasn't serving this from a catch while hoping a cat. So back, back in the stew room, Stephanie's like, yeah, at this point I'm just gonna aim for fan favorite. I'll start cracking up. So, Beelie's like, well that green tea dessert. I mean, what a leap. But you know what, it brought up grown mandatiers and that is really high praise. Why is it that like bringing grown mandatiers is like a benchmark for being so excellent men are allowed to cry people

No, we're not okay So yeah, this show would get an Emmy for this episode alone if that Give you a gold medal because I've been crying this whole time so bad was like I love Brian's dessert. I mean soil this whole time. So Padmas like I love Brian's dessert. I mean soil. Soil and on top of that, it had the bitterness that other dishes didn't have because they didn't have a spice like cardamom. And Tom gives Stephanie a shout for doing, you know, growing the most all season. And Padmas like Brian not only embraced where he was, but he let himself go. He opened up in a way that I don't think any of us have seen. It was like being hugged by a toaster oven.

He opened up in ways that none of us have ever seen before, and quite frankly it was terrible. I want him to close back up again. Thank you. And Gail's like, well overall Melissa's way of creating a complete story was transporting. I'm not even here right now. I'm actually on a hill somewhere in Sweden. Everyone hides your meatballs. So Gail is so proud of his leg. It's like, well, I think we have our new tap chef. So Nilo, you can go home now. Bye.

So everybody comes in and their family's there and We get Tom's final monologue of the season. He's like well the voyage is to become top chef and the stakes are higher because it's all stars and Sometimes the voyage is more important than the destination and the journey you take when you go deep down As such yourself and find out what you're made of the journey you take when you go deep down and such yourself and find out what you're made of, generally ends in getting to a great place, which you can be proud of later and you're not working for tips at a bar, mixing juice with vodka. So congratulations, at least you've all done that.

Yeah, I mean, when you sit there on those nights after cooking and you're thinking about it, you just go deeper and deeper and deeper and what comes out as we are. I mean, unless, of course, you've chosen to be a mixologist and then at the other night you just go home and see what you can scrap together to pay rent. You know, but you guys seem to have made that journey. So only one of you can be top chef. So, uh, Papa? Papa?

Melissa, you are top chef. At which point, by the way, they're parents are there too. And then most of mom like She just start solving and so do I yeah, oh gosh, what a great great time I know Stephanie feels like she's still like you know what she feels accomplished She's you know she feels like she's accomplished what she came here to do which is to like get really far and She's glad that this is what she can talk about and then Kevin goes up to Brian It's like I tried my best for you, but turns out granddaddy wasn't there to fix the fix the though the answer so

Couldn't really get you out of this jam unfortunately I just want you to know just because you didn't win. It didn't mean that you don't got the balls Get it And you'll always have a seat on coach and granddad is airline didn't win. It didn't mean that you don't got the balls. Get it! And you'll always have a seat on coach and granddad is here, line. And for the time she is like, well, I've learned a lot about myself. I made it into the finale three times, which isn't a huge accomplishment, but only I could do. Three times I've done this, so that's great. I mean, look, there's 16 other top chefs out there, but there's only one person who's done what I've done

Which is get to the finale three times without ever even winning a quick fire And then bad man's like oh my god you also went to 150 grand, which is adorable that you think that's actually a lot of money grand which is adorable that you think that's actually a lot of money. Anyway now that the season's over I'm gonna go back to hanging out with David Chang and other famous people while you you know ride on a scooter to wherever you're going I guess you're gonna be doing Uber now I don't know. So then Gail posted an Instagram which was cute you check, do not flip through these pictures. If you do not want to be spoiled, these will say the winner. And I just want to go through those so I can see how many people are like, thanks for the spoiler, Gail. Because I was like, this woman can't win, you know. But one of the pictures is probably about to pour a

champagne glass. I'm guessing over Melissa's head, but it looks like she's gonna get it all over Gail. I was like, what a perfect ending to this. Well, you know, the thing is Gail, like, well, I don't know what if Gail realizes this, but if you do a carousel, the logarithms are like when you first post that you only see the first picture, but then later on, after you've seen the first picture, it will then serve another photo from the car cell. So she still probably spoiled it for like a lot of people. So way to go, Gail, you made Gail that one up. Oh, that's so Gail. Classic, Gail. Well, that brings us to the end of this season of Top Chef. We sure love you, Top Chef. Now Mondays will be taken by Mary de Medicine Los Angeles. We are going to do a full recap of that this week.

It'll be up gosh, tonight or tomorrow morning. But our schedule is going to change a little bit. So everybody keep your eyes. Change and schedule over here. Bravo. Yep. And so we'll see you on the next episode. Thanks for listening.

And we'll talk to you next time. Bye. Bye. and we'll talk to you next time. Bye! Bye! Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch Your Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.