Watch What Crappens - Top Chef: The Fast and The Gail-ious

Episode Date: May 2, 2023

Top Chef does a movie tie in episode and it turns into the FASTest elimination challenge in HISTORY! There's a lot of moving and running and winning and losing and one very large Vin Diesel lady boner from Victoire. This week's premium bonus is a #RHOC trailer breakdown. For bonus episodes and video recaps, join Patreon at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens Tour Dates: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/2023-cheater-brand-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. This episode is sponsored by Uber1. We've all used Uber for rides, and I love using UberEats for food delivery. Okay, hello. I mean, I kind of live off of it. But have you ever heard about Uber1? Uber1 is a membership that helps you save on Uber and UberEats. With an Uber-1 membership, you get exclusive member perks, like up to 10% off UberEats and a $0 delivery fee on eligible orders. It just makes sense. I'm always getting Uberes.

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Well, on your problems. I'm Ronnie, hi everybody. Welcome to the show. Here I am today, again with the gorgeous and talented Ben Mandelker, Hi, Ben. Hi Ronnie, how are you? I'm so excited because I got a big week this week. During tons of shows this week, just here at home, but then next week, we're gonna be going out of town again.

We're gonna do a couple of big ones, a New York City and then Washington, DC. That's May 11th and 13th, New York and then Washington. In New York City, we're gonna be covered in real housewives of New Jersey. And then in Washington, DC, we will be doing pump rules. So those are going to be huge shows. Come get your tickets.

Then just a little while after that in June, we're going to finish it out. We're going to go to San Diego. So San Diego, go buy your tickets. Do that. Okay. And then we're going to St. Paul, Minnesota Chicago. Sorry, I had to swallow in the middle of that. I'm going to take some type of swallow.

I'm going to get it. Then Chicago, then Columbus, then Boston, then Foxwood's casino in Connecticut. So go get your tickets over at www.Crabbons.com. Guess what else is there? Pornography. What? If you consider bonus episodes and crabbons

on demand videos, penises. Wow. On camera, that's pornography. I do. Because we do have a lot of on demand videos are super fun. And we also have guess what? Bonus episodes. This past week, we did the real housewives of Orange County preview.

If you're an audio bonus listener, you can hear the audio. If you're a crap, it's on to band. Watch your watch it along with us watching the track. They're very exciting stuff. Okay. You know what? a crapman's onto band, watch her, and watch her along with us watching the twinkler. It's very exciting stuff, Kay! You know, what? Remote it is very proud and exciting to be on real housewives of the county to watch, Kay!

The Newcastleman! Say! Well, it's crazy, Kay! So today, we're going to do some top chef, which this week is going to be moving to being a Friday recap for us Which makes more sense anyway considering the show airs on Thursdays But yes top chef. It's gonna be a Friday recap for Ben and Ronnie. Did you mean to change the schedule a little bit? I'm tell Bravo changes the schedule next week fucks our lives and then all that's wrong We have no idea what's going on, but for mouth to set now for now

It's so here we are this episode is 20 oh eight a season 20 episode eight is called street boot bite and did you see Ronnie that Padma locked me is in this year's sports illustrated swimsuit issue. She's got some bedonk too going on in that. I saw it. Is that what that was from her bikini and her butts, like all big and bulbous and like coming at you from 3D from the page?

She is. Padma is just like so undeniably gorgeous And I love that she's gorgeous. She is gorgeous. But Padma's also like very much like, she's just like so Padma too, because also another thing that happened recently is about a week ago, there was this whole thing with the time 100. And I can't remember if was she honored

in the time 100 or Ali Wong was honored in the time 100 or Ali Wong was honored in the time 100. Whatever it was, she posted this on her Instagram a few days ago. Just her in a beautiful, of course looking beautiful. Like just on a railing saying, drop Little Hands back in the US, Little Hands is her daughter. Drop Little Hands back in the US, did some linger in left for Japan for a secret little project Tokyo was a whirlwind and I may have left my heart there

But rush back in time for the hashtag time 100 gala tomorrow Basically smart people's prom Hashtag life is short hashtag jet lag is real triple exclamation point observatory glam hair by Keith hair stylist yapi o123456789 and makeup by kuneco underscore katoaka okay prodna it's like well it's just the end of fucking mission impossible and the credits and the fucking credits on your Instagram post.

Graham. Raise your hand if you've been to smart people's prom. Anyone? Sarah, how about you? Oh, I'm sorry. You must have gone to Bumblebee tuna prom. Sorry about that. I'm sorry.

We're Sarah's prom. That's called the maternity ward. Wow. Sarah unfortunately didn't get to go to smart people's prom because it was held in Paris. Sorry Sarah. Sorry Sarah. No Paris love for you dummy. So then this is her caption for her and her Badonky, Donk, bathing suit picture for sports illustrated. First of all, can I just say not retouched, which is very impressive. You do not see that very often.

Good for you. Unlike Gail with a cupcake, not retouched. Or you could call it untouched, like Gail doing Sprite people prom. Now there's someone who definitely would to smart people prom. Mara G go amazing. She did back to back smart people's and fried egg prom amazing. She made out with an I don't

garden cookbook. Pretty much it. So this is a very long one. When we said this year would be filled with epic women. Oh, this is just a repost, I guess. So we don't have to be there. But I like her.

I like her reading it. The idea of her being like, Hey, liquid summoned, wrote about me. I'm hot. Ha, ha, ha, ha. There was one this week. I couldn't remember if it was a Instagram post or what it was, but she's like, guess what, everybody?

I have nipples. And I have a butt. And that's just how it is. Because people are like, Padma, how can we eat burritos in your underwear? Or you'll do like your cooking thing on Instagram. She's like, Hi everybody, just making some eggs in a bra. These eggs sure are delicious and people like, Jesus Padma, you thirst bucket.

I guess that's what a guest happened. Because she's like, are delicious and people like Jesus Padma you thirst bucket I guess that's what it guess happened because she's like look at what I have nipples and sometimes my nipples come out when I'm cooking Boo sorry to be a woman Like love her love it. Sorry. Sorry. I don't want to spill egg on my smart people prom dress by my dear friend Diane Vaughn first and bird beer a Wang Here I am standing with multiple piles of yarn address by my dear friend, Diane von Fersenberg, Vera Wang. Here I am standing with multiple piles of yarn. Otherwise known as gales pretend prom dates. By the way, Gale did eat all of these by the end of smart people. Do you see this one where she's cozy with all the yarn? No. I thought you were making that up.

She's literally posing with alarm, with alarm, yarn in America. She's like 2023 to 2025, 2023 back to 2005. The last time I was in America, I was filming the 10 Commandments. Yes, from the Bible. That's why the Princess Bithia bangs. Ha ha. I had already done Padmas's passport and planet food, but this was way before Top Chef or taste the nation

or even little hands. It was heaven to go back, soak up the size and smell of the sights. Sorry. Gosh, you don't want to soak up size. Let me tell you that much. Either in that and flying in coach with Gail. We learned that at Gail prom.

She slowed down as the theme song for Helmins. So cut the sights and smells of the market and share it all with my daughter for the first time. This is so meaningful to me that I'm not even putting credits at the end of this Instagram post. Thank you. Just me and several bundles of poor people's yarn. What a special moment.

I've already pitched the idea for this. My dear friend, Lena Weith for a new TV show called Padma and Yarn, a story of redemption. redemption. Allie wands starring in yarn. A story of painting lots of ball jokes. Get it? Yarn starring my dear friend, Allie wang. It's a story of a woman who gets into a road rage incident while driving to pick up some yarn.

So let's start with the end of last week. Dale, please pack your mustache and go stupid face. Okay. I hope that it customs back into Canada. They have a barbershop, Dale. Go. Yeah. Enjoy your watching John Candy VHS as well.

Listen to Justin Bieber. Henkka-r-r-r-r. Spoiler alert. His hands were between pillows. They were between butt cheeks. So, Victoir is very sad because she doesn't like it when she makes a bad dish. And then Amar is like, well, there's 10 of us left.

And, you know, we need to be happy that we're still here. Like, I mean, guess who comes in? Gagon. Oh yeah. Every day's chef, okay? Chef Gagon. Oh, yeah, every day's every day's chef. Okay chef. Cagon is like hello, chef. It's me Gagon the first chef ever to come back here and have a talk with you about your food Let's do it. You know what I want to have with you a beer a beer. That's what I want I'm just a man of the people. Yeah, I'm just man of the people Cagon

I'm just a regular Gagon cool chill guy who hangs out and charges about three hundred dollars for food roll up in the shape of the people, Kagan. I'm just a regular Kagan cool chill guy who hangs out and charges about $300 for food roll up in the shape of the globe. You know, come on. Is that a holding a baby, holding a baby, passing out Kagan hats? Yeah, he's definitely taking a victory lap. He's loving these cameras. And he's like, listen, listen, I wanted to say hi to you all because I didn't want you to have a sudden moment after I broke the hearts of one man who had a handlebar mustache. You know, I wanted to say hi to you all because I didn't want you to have a sudden moment after I broke the hearts of one man who had a handlebar mustache. You know, I just want to sit back here and have a beer with you, you know?

Gagon, pick, lick. Bing! So the shirt says slow game for running for office. So, Victor was like, do you need any chefs in your kitchen? And he's like, anytime, come to me, I'm going, set for the people. And she's like, um, and she goes up and shakes his hand. This is the smartest person he's ever been on this show. Can I just say?

Yes. Big tour, whether you win or lose, you are the smartest person to. She just secured herself a job. And she's like, you shook my hand on national TV. Don't make me break one of your fucking country plates on your head. She went.

Yeah. And then he gives this like very patronizing advice. Like very easy to say from someone who was like vaunted and had a Netflix special badminton charges thousands of dollars for his food and you know, like has just shattered the dream of Dale and he's like, he's like, listen, here's what you have to do. You just have to don't hold back, just have fun.

Have fun, that's all you need to do here, have fun to don't hold back, just have fun. Have fun. That's all you need to do here. Have fun. Be because you know you can always go back to your empire and your Michelin stars. It's like, okay, again, I think you could leave now. Like we don't need you here right now. Do you know what is better than winning? Having memories. Because when you have memories, even if they are of not winning, that's what makes you a better chef. The experience of not winning things i was like get out of here is the competition you are your reverse coach yeah could you stop waving at the camera okay we see you we see you so umar is like hey this is the only opportunity that happens on top chef and that's the best advice I ever heard except that time I was a Morocco and they told me what lamb and it to Jean for at least eight hours. Oh, one of the privileges of having

gone to Morocco, which by the way I should mention I did go to Morocco once I did do that yes. And he knows he leaves with his spear and then he points at the stuffed sheep on the ground. He's like, and don't talk that sheep. Classic. I didn't even notice that. I didn't notice the sheep thing. I didn't even notice that there was a stuffed sheep. Yeah, it was the same. It looked like the same stuffed sheep that Danielle gave Lindsay on summer house.

Wow. Makes me wonder what the hell's going on. Because you know, I know one like they had a class A I was all on as a storyline on one of the housewives and now it's everywhere. You're like seeing it everywhere. And people are like, wait a minute, was I tricked? Was this just another Bravo tie in?

And I'm wondering how stuff sheep works as a Bravo tie in? I'm very excited to find out. Maybe it's like a point of this entire time. Oh, you're right. Maybe it is. Don't they have those? The basic, the basic point of the scene in my notes is shut up. Good, gone.

Go away. You fucking stop. Thank you. I agree. So now it's the next day and they run them through the clock doors and Pam is like, hello, hello, and she's standing in front of a wall of past ports. And she's also wearing these like pants that look like two giant

Gross like bags like like paper bags So she's like I'm just like one of the people because what people don't realize is that what I'm wearing paper bags is pants I actually have access to yarn from Marikash right now. I'm gonna make my own pants. I Know you guys are so curious how I can still make parachute pants work. It's called magic. I'd like to introduce you to author, restaurant tour and lady who says hello once instead of hello hello like me. Judy, you go ahead and say hello. Won't you just hello. I told you. Hello. This is how you do it, Judy. Hello, hello.

You know, one of the greatest parts about Judy, Jew is that she's pretty cool, but not cool enough for me to say her name twice. So I just get to the I just say Judy, Jew, and I just leave off the D part because she hasn't really earned the second syllable of the second repetition of her name. Do you know what I'm saying? Is everyone following what I'm trying to say here? So who's ready to travel around the world? Not you, Sarah. OK, you don't have enough teeth to get your passport stamp.

You know, it's important to travel and learn about other cultures and their yarn around the world. And one of the best way to do that is by eating street food, assuming Gale hasn't been to the market already, because then there'll be nothing left. Am I right? Bless her heart. And Julie's like some of the best meals I've ever eaten in my life, right there on the pavement. Oh, my friend Gail is eating lots of food off the pavement, Julie. She's like a fatherless pigeon.

She's like a featherless pigeon. We just said at least drop some M&M's on the pavement. Watch Gail go. My ride. Oh my god, I once watched her lick the chalk off of asphalt because she thought we said better scotch, not hopscotch. This isn't lick by number gale. Get off the ground. I can't believe I almost called gale a featherless pigeon, a fatherless pigeon. A foul?

a far-through. That's the pigeon seeing somewhere out there. So Judy's like, I love street food so much I even created my own concept, so bird, around the street, third of Korea. Thank you very much, thank you so bird. I'm sure you've all heard of it, so bird, so bird anyone, anyone, so bird. What are your favorite street foods? For today's quick fire challenge, we're looking for street foods from around the world. You'll each have to make an iconic dish from one of these iconic countries.

That's Sarah. You want to talk about iconic? Hey, Sarah, what's her street food do you like? She's like, well, I love a good funnel cake. Hmm, sounds like more like a rural carnival in your quilt capital of the world, but I guess we'll accept it. Yeah, I like tunnel cake too. That's cake that Gail eats in a tunnel. That's where she was originally cast.

I'm driving around in a large school bus in Pittsburgh for some reason. We went through a tunnel and I said, get that one, she'll eat anything, and we did. Although I guess here in Britain, we call it channel cake instead. Either way, as long as she's in an enclosed space that could possibly get trapped and and die, she'll eat it. The cake that is from that space.

Let me play with that. Let me play with that. I'm so excited. Let me play with that. Let me play with that. Let me play with that. Let me play with that. Let me play with that. Let me play with that. Let me play with that. Let me play with that. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he won't know what you're making

until you pick a passport. So, Cavity is like, he's like, the only place I've been to really, he hasn't traveled a lot. So, he's just been to Canada. So, and he got to go there from Top Chef Mexico. So, he's like,

if someone grabs the Canada passport, I fight, I will fight them for it. Now, what are the big Canadian foods? Cause we were just there and we didn't really have, I guess. Big Canadian. Cause before when we were there, they were like, Houtine. I mean, this is in Montreal, you know, because it's French, French Canadian. So we had a lot of like, traditional bagels. There is like a, there is like a tradition of like, Trotting Eagles. There is like a tradition of like, keep a quads food. And there's actually a tradition. There's like a,

like a, a Katie, a Katie in food. So actually our friend Catherine Spears, hosted podcast called SmartBout, that people are interested in this sort of, that's a good one everybody go check it out. Go check it out.

If people are interested in these sort of questions, she actually does a lot, she has a lot of episodes on regional foods and I actually did listen to the one about like, I want to say, is the Canadian or a K-Sian? I forget, but like that sort of a Halifax Nova Scotian North Eastern Canadian food that, so there's definitely stuff out there.

So. That's cool. We should learn more about it. Okay, next time we go to Canada, we're gonna learn about the food because I feel like every time They bring up Canada people are like here's some maple syrup. I'm like come on guys. I mean, I've had such great food there I just wouldn't know how to describe the difference in their food, you know, yeah

Well, there's definitely actually when we were up there last week. Yeah, it's nice food. It's very it's very kind It's like hello. It's food that I apologize to you. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, sorry, did I come out too soon? Or was I put on a plate too? Anyway, Judy is like, well, Gaigan sort of stole my vibe. But what I wanted to say was, don't be afraid to have fun. And but we still want to be able to understand what the original inspiration was.

So anyway, this has been Judy Jiu from Sobert. Thank you. But we still want to be able to understand what the original inspiration was. So anyway, this has been Judy-Jew from Sobert. Thank you. Thank you very much. Continue. So this is very difficult because they don't only pick up passport and have to make something from that country, they actually get told what to make. Yeah, which is hard.

I think that's hard. So Victoria is last. Victoria, sorry, and she picks Jamaica, what she's psyched with. Gabri got Canada, a mark gets Colombia. Someone else got India, I don't know. So, Oh, Buddha got Vietnam. Yeah. And, um, Sarbel got Japan and he got some kind of octopus. He, he, oh, Tyria, Taco, yeah. And he's like, what the fuck is this? Yeah. I just made, can I shape it into a flag? Okay. Can I make it into a...

Can I make it into a... Tygo Yaki. Can I make it into a... Can I make it into a... Can I make it into a... Can I make it into a... Can I make it into a... Can I make it into a...

Can I make it into a... Can I make it into a... Can I make it into a... Can I make it into a... Can I make it into a... Can I make it into a... Can I make it into a... Can I make it into a...

Can I make it into a... Can I make it into a... Can I make it into a... Can I make it into a..., I think it's just like, and I think it's just like, octopus and a little ball of flour, just a ball of octopus. He's like, okay, I could do octopus and ball of flour, which by the way, he winds up not being able to do even just that. Well, that sounds hard. I mean, octopus is hard enough to cook when you're just like,

it's hard enough to get a good cook on it when it's not in a goddamn fritter, you know? So Victoria is making rost up. She's like, jah rostanan! To make jerk chicken. And she's like, I've never been here, but I've spiced in my blood.

Yeah. And then who else? Gabri's making poutine. And he's making parsonith instead of potato, which had me a little alarmed. And then, alarmed, it had me furious.

I was like, I'm rooting for you. I'm rooting for you. I've done nothing but root for you. Even though I said you should have been kicked off a couple of times, okay? Let's forget those parts. I'm rooting for you. I'm there, you dist the potato.

Somewhere at home, silly. It's throwing mashed potatoes at the television, right? Yeah, seriously. Out there, you do. Don't fuck with the fries. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and scum. If you're hiring, you know what it's like to deal with economic uncertainty, and now

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that zippercruder.com slash crappins. Again, that zippercruder.com slash C-R-A-P-P-E-N-S. Zippercrooter, the smartest way to hire. I'm going to say something scandalous, Ronny. Go on. Plants are meat. And not only are they meat, they're delicious, especially if they're from impossible foods.

They taste like beef. Exactly. Impossible is making meat history this summer. Yeah, they are. Summer of Impossible. I am so excited to be spending time, cooking my summer foods, all that good stuff, and guess what?

We can use impossible sausages, impossible brats. I mean, it's gonna be a great summer for impossible foods. Impossible beef is made from plants and 19 grams of protein per serving, and it's better for the planet. And it's gonna be a great summer for impossible foods. Impossible beef is made from plants and 19 grams of protein per serving, and it's better for the planet. And it's meat. Plant meat. Correct.

So if you're looking for something to grab for your grill, grab some impossible beef. Summer of impossible. Start making meat history today. Just head over to the meat aisle at your local grocery store. Grab some impossible beef or patties and get grilling. Grilling. Grilling. grocery store, grab some impossible beef or patties and get grilling. So Canada smile is making egg waffles like or bubble waffles or egg bubble waffles from China and she's never made one even though she's grown up with them like having them all the time.

Yeah and Ali is doing a turkey kabab, which really, come on you guys, you're giving Ali a turkey kabab, give me a fucking break, that's not fair. So then give him the octopus, okay? But I would rather see Charbel try and make a turkey kabab into a dip, okay? So then Amara's gonna do a big color on me and breakfast using a ne pas.

20 minutes, 20 minutes. Sarah's work making empanadas and she's like, well, I haven't made empanadas before, but I've made handpies a bunch of time. Sarah, I'm sorry, a handpie is not a quilt wrapped around cool whip. Sorry. Wow, a handpie is what Gail eats when she's waited over 10 minutes for him McDonald's order. I was like, I had a side not to make dough from scratch. You know, I decided I had to make dough from scratch because ever since that fucking waffle challenge,

and then we see her season when she used box stuff during a challenge and they distro. They're like, you used box biscuits disgusting. So then Buddha is, he's working on a Vietnamese dish. I forget how you pronounce it. Is it bon? Shio? Buncho? Buncho?

Buncho? I apologize. Buncho? No. I apologize. Buncho? No. Apologize to my Vietnamese friends, I've put I have several who are probably just like shaking their heads at me. But either way, it's like, I usually write things in a way that I can read.

Yeah, I was like, I'll write them down phonetically. And this one, I was like, I'm going to get this because it's so easy. And I can't remember. I know. I was like, I've noticed, I've like seen this dish. I think I've eaten this dish. I was like, I'll remember exactly how to say it. And now I'm like, bon, blue, blue. So either way, whatever this Vietnamese dish is pronounced, whatever it is, he's making it. It's like an egg

creepy thing. So he's like, well, you have to nail the better or else you're done. And to emphasize how much you have to nail the better, I'm going to use a mold of a nail and pour the eggs in that. So then German Tom is like, I have India and I'm doing pudding. I took India because no one else took it. There's a valid reason for that. Badmah. It's very tough to cook for her. for that. Ding! Badmah! It's very tough to cook for her. Yeah. It's like I took a pack pack from Germany to Australia and then to Spain and then to Malaysia and then to Canada and then to America and then back to Austria, then to Germany and then to Spain again, then to Malaysia because I

want to see them out. Also I mod that someone. I've been on the run for many years. That's how I feel about that. Did he rob somebody? Who a crime did he commit? I feel like he's a con man. Yes, definitely. So then Canada smiles making her little waffle spheres and having some issues. And Charlottes is trying to figure out like, how do you grill a ball, a ball of dough? And then Buddha's having issues with his crepes because the batter is too thick and he's like, for the first time in Top Chef I might not have a dish today, but don't worry, I've got a backup plan.

Room, temperature, hell of a-t. Watch out, world. So it's two minutes and he's starting over with his little creepy things. And Sarah's like, oh my God, holy shit, this pastry, don't warm. And Gabri's like, it doesn't look like pudding, but the chicken is juicy. I think it's good.

But not perfect. We've got to get something all to play. Tons of pants up, dumb dumb. Dumb to everyone who's steep and stop cooking. Ha ha, it was all of you. Everyone who got invited to smart people's prom may continue cooking. Oh, I guess you all have to stop. Wow, smells really good in here. Yeah,

I mean, why don't you go first? And he, he presents his poutine with parsnip fries, chicken gravy, cheese panchetta, cheese, crispy cheese, panchetta, and mushrooms. It looks very pretty. It's really took out the best part. So go to hell and take your hellish dish with you. Bye. And then Tom is up next and he has his bell puree with raw and sauteed vegetables and mushroom steak and chopped masala and cumin.

Pat, I was, hmm, have you ever had this dish before? He's like, yeah. And Judy's like, and do you like cooking Indian food? He's like, yeah, and Judy's like, and do you like cooking Indian food? He's like, yeah, how much of stairs to them? Like, wow, thanks a lot, and Paster, you're like, tweet at the yarn market, America. Wow, I can't wait to go back to Germany and pretend you invented Peery. That should be fun. We'll talk about that on Tasty Nation, also airing now. So then Ali serves his turkey kebab, which I think is cheating. That's too easy.

And then Buddha serves his Vietnamese dish, his abonzi. Bonsi? It's bonsi. It's like a bonsi scheme. It's when somebody wants to take all your money by making really good bonds, a bondsy scheme. Yeah, and Buddha's like, yeah, it's that. And you're just like, have you eaten this dish? I'm just asking because it's very room temperature. I can't help but notice. And Buddha's like, oh, I have. And I was very scared to take it because it's so technical. I mean, to get that done, you might as well just put

a gold medal around my neck right now. It was that technically difficult. I've got a mold of two hands in the clap emoji, which I can't wait to use for myself. It was extremely pumping difficult for a lot. Thank you. I have a mold that says might as well end this competition now because this was so technical and difficult to do. Am I right? Amar, this is a colossal arrepa. Fried egg, cork, belly, bacon, and chorizo. Wow. It's a real gale attack.

That's when your heart explodes. Am I supposed to use a spin with this? How do I do it? How do I hold it? How do I hold it? So, Judy's like, what do you think? There's an ethicist come with an L-wrench. How am I supposed to know how to eat this? Judy's like, Padma, please, stop putting that on my head. But I don't know what to do with it.

So, Judy's like, say what drew you to Colombia? And Mars, like, well, I was thinking, well, first of all, I noticed there was no passport in Morocco, so then second choice, I just started, I was hoping I'd get empanadas. And Judy goes, ah, ah, as if she's like, you stupid man. So, Starbele got Takoyaki, and he doesn't know what it is. He's like, I've never seen it, I've never tried it. So, there's Egan Flowerour about her with chunks of octopus and Japanese a-oli.

I don't fucking know. I have fun with this. And Judy goes, this is one of my favorite things actually. And he's like, oh, thank you. She's just, Takayaki in general that is. That was a good one. I love a misdirection. God, Julie Jews really got it going on. I really loved how before this you said, have you ever been to India? I mean, that was really amazing. I don't compliment people off in

tools. Can I call you tools? Of course I can. Wait, was her name Julie or Judy? Julie. Oh, I wrote Judy. I thought her name was Judy Jew. No, that's a girl you went to high school with. This is Julie too. Oh, okay, okay, that makes much more sense. Well, either way. I think so. No, actually her name is Judy, I just looked it up.

It's Judy Jew. It's Judy? It's Judy. Oh God, damn it. How many times did I write it down? Well, Judy, Judy, first of all, the Judy, Judy that been went to high school with inevitably, I'm sorry.

And also this this Judy, I'm so sorry. I wrote your name down as Julie 900 times. So I have all good. It's all good. Listen, we make, we make, listen, I just have my whole band Z situation that I still am probably saying wrong. So anyway, Sharp Elf serves a steak and she's just like, ah, this is the most delicious thing I've ever tasted. I mean, generally speaking, that's what I usually say when I have this. This

one is shit, but generally speaking, I love these. So what did you think you were gonna get when you chose Japan, Demi? And he's like, well, I cook my food all the time. So I wanted something different. I figured Japan would be maybe sushi. And she's like, oh, I admire that. I did, not you dish. CGT had that.

I've asked you. Well, it's like when I said to Sarah, I admire that you've never been to Paris and the farthest you've ever traveled has been the barn in your backyard where you play a band Joe. I admire that. Well, like when Gail comes in a new blazer that doesn't match anything she's wearing. Otherwise, I say, I admire that someone actually had the cajonais to sell that to somebody. Yeah, it's like when Gail tried to do this lean Dion thing by wearing a

backward sexita, but she just wore the blazer on her legs. I said, I admire that. I said, Gail, you're not supposed to wear granny panties backwards on your face. You look like you're trying to rob a bank. I liked when Gail tried to crash the MTV movie awards by addressing like a big thing of cotton candy, but then she ate half her dress by the time she got through the red carpet. I admire that. So Sarah picked Argentine as she was like, I was helping for empanadas. Guess what I got? Fucking winner empanadas right there. Go for it.

open for empanadas, guess what I got? Fucking winner, empanadas, right there. Go for it. And then Nicole, she serves up her egg waffles and she's like, this is an homage to Canada and Pamela goes, Canada? Well, but this is China, it's supposed to be China, not Canada. I think you miss, but you know what it is?

You spelled Canada with an HIN in the middle, not an A and A D in the middle. Sorry, Nicole. It's an egg maple syrup bacon bites. And then Buddha is like, glad I didn't go for Chinese. I was like, Hey, hey, hey, that was a very technical thing. She just tried to pull up Mr. Technical Impression. That's like impression. Oh, sorry.

You tried to impress people by being technical. Yeah, just because you say it's technical. I'm sorry. Well, congratulations. You made a very thin crepe. This is also street food. Or a lot of people can do this. Seriously.

Yeah, seriously. Crepe foods, crepes are not hard. OK. And you can, you can, everybody can seriously, grapefruit, grapes are not hard, okay? And you can you can everybody can freak out at the Why are we both stuttering right now? We need to take a moment. It's a moment. Let's just take a moment I'll never get into smart people's pride now. I know. I know whole words. I know whole words things correctly I make grapes a lot. I love craps while I used to. I'm trying to like not die of blood pressure and heart attacks because I'm at that age,

apparently. But I have made a lot of craps in my life. They're not that difficult. Boota, shut up, still Boota. Why am I telling Boota to shut up? I really like Boota. Because he's getting on my nerves. He's getting a little bit on my nerves this season.

I have to say, you know, the first crape is always turns out wonky. But I know it thin omelette is hard, but you're using nonstick and you're also on top chef. So I think you can do a thin omelette. I'm sorry, I think you can do it. Yeah. So Julie's like, wow guys, I'm very impressed. My taste buds have been transported around the world.

Wow. And like Sarah ever will be. My teaspoons have been transported around the world. Wow. And like Sarah ever will be in my right, Sarah, poor thing. So let's get the bad news out of the way. You're all poor and nameless. Anything else, Julie? You're all going to Skittles Pram. So, so, Char Bell is in the bottom. And Judy is like, I'm having a sec.

All right, Judy. Listen, I want to let you know what's a stake for you. At the end of this quick fire, I'm either going to give you a hug or not give you a hug, and it all depends on how harsh you're going to be. So the choice is up to you, Judy, have at it. So, Judy is like, Sharbella,

it didn't look like Takayaki, it didn't taste like Takayaki, and I had no resemblance to Takayaki. Gloss your face is stupid, I don't like your pants, I never want to see you again, and never look at me directly in the eyes ever again. Wow, Judy! Wow, Judy, that was laying it on a little thick, that was almost thicker than the Takayaki batter.

Am I right, Judy? That's how you do it, Judy. High five. Judy here. Watch the master. Shabel. Did you mean to make this indescribable octopus goop? All right. Try again, Judy. Try again. Okay. Well, Nicole, bubble waffles are called bubble waffles because bubbles are light and airy. Whoa. That was actually pretty good. That was pretty good. That was pretty good.

Also a great description of what goes on in Gale's stomach. Light bubbles all the time. Oh wow. Bubble waffles, because they're light and air. You know what, that was like a yupp review of Gale. Heavy and doughy. Okay, that's what I say. So, Judy's like Sarah, the filling was dry and there wasn't enough of it.

Patent was like, wow, I appreciate that you made your dough, but there was too much butter. Okay. That was the kind of anger level you need to give the third hateful dish. It was almost like she was trying to make a butter quilled. I mean, there was so much of it. And now for some good news. I'm as gorgeous and rich as ever. And now for some good news. I'm as gorgeous and rich as ever. And now for some good news.

I bought yarn and Marrakesh. That was the throwback congratulations to myself, 2005. That was a congratulations to whoever's going to receive that yarn and make me a sweater. Thank you. Throwback good news. Hear the talks. that yarn and make me a sweater. Thank you. Throwback good news. Um, hear the tops. Buddha. Buddha, you're in the tops. And Judy's like, Buddha, what you did was very technically difficult. I

don't know why it was, but for some reason I have that idea in my head. I don't know where it came from. It was technical. That's what very, very technical. Okay. Okay. And Gabri, I'd like to be one of the, one of, I'd like to spend one of the only times in your life that someone's going to say this to you, your retop. And I was just so impressed. Wow. With the modern interpretation, almost deconstruction of Poutine. Wow. With the modern interpretation, almost the construction of Poutine. Wow.

It was amazing. And then Judus also impressed with the balance of Tom's dish. Wow, Tom, great job doing white person's Indian food. Congratulations. Our favorite gave us a bite that truly took us back to that country and his name is Gabri just kidding its food because water technical feats I've done it again. I would say this is as good as Charbell's Takayaki was absolutely horrible. Oh, I like that very well done

All right, well, Billy, you've also earned immunity. Julie, Julie, thanks for being here. Now back to scrounging for InstaLikes from someone less famous than me. Bye, you welcome. Congratulations. You get a padmahawk and you're not even wearing a pussy bow. Chefs. You stand to stand. I love the transition because she always does that. Shes!

I'm in the music, it's like, don't don't don't, but this time it's even crazier. It's time to step up if you plan to make it to the finish line this season. And it's like, this challenge is going to be fast and furious like Gale running into the golden corral. Like Gale hearing there's only one quarter pounder left. Like Gale hearing there's only one final sale at Dressbonne. So the TV speeds in on rollers. So the TV speeds in on rollers. It's like, the craze that was like they'd not have any money in their budget to rent

like a sports car to drive. And the fact that there was like a little TV that came like zooming in through smoke, a TV. And there's all the smoke and these crazy lights. It reminds me of like when the cooking network tried to do that, the food network tried to not the food network. The cooking network is the cheaper one right? It tried doing that one with the rock and roll chef. She's like I love rock and roll. Yeah, I could stand there. The rock ability is just rock ability. She's like I got I got curly bangs.

Yeah, I'm gonna play like an electric guitar. So she's like who's ready for a race? So she's like who's ready for a race? Here to give you some inspiration, are some folks that people who know a thing or two about being fast. And then we cut to Vin Diesel. Like Vin Diesel's just sort of standing there like, hey, dude, Thar who couldn't be there with you today, we brought a little sneak peek of fast acts to get you excited.

It felt like a, it felt like a, hey, don't do drugs. You know that they're playing school. Vin Diesel not looking great. And I have to say, they really, I like that Hollywood is like, you know what? He was hot for long enough, but the man lived his life

and but still give him 10 movies. Yeah So it was it was heartwarming actually. She's like wow it may seem odd to pair a classy cooking show with the trailer part classic like fast and furious But fast and furious was also the name of Gels auto biography when she found out they stopped making twinkies I've never seen someone run to a factory that quickly. We just removed S from the title, so it was, you know. Think about it. People at Smart People's Prom get it. Anyway.

Sorry, Sarah, you're not going to get that work. She goes to the slow and the furious prom. Anyway, last year, we had dinosaurs on here to celebrate Jurassic Park. And this year we have dinosaurs to celebrate fast and the furious. Vin Diesel everyone. So what were you expecting a challenge based on tar?

So we see this trailer and Victoria's like, oh Italy. And then all the chefs are just like pretending like they either care or interested, they're like, uh-huh. Okay. Okay. Yeah.

And then all the cast starts coming on and I've never seen a fast and the furious movie, which I've seen probably watch. Scattered. I've seen certain ones. I always intend to see them. I think they're fun. Yeah, they're fun. They're fun. I always planned to see them. I never yeah, they're fun They're fun

I always planned to watch them and I never seemed to watch them But I saw I saw the first one which I liked actually a lot and I think I saw the second I saw the second one And I saw the fifth one. I saw one where they're in Brazil and Wow and Gal Gadot I think was in it and she was like Why you do that? Why you do that? in it and she was like, why do that? Why do that? We have to drive it safe to present. Why do that? That is one of the funniest things you ever said. You were talking about Wonder Woman when that first came out and you're like, this is Wonder Woman. Why do that? She's just like entered society after spending like her life on an island and she's trying to figure

out a pair of things. What do you do that? She's literally like, I wonder, woman. So I was so funny. It's time for commercial. It's time for... Hi, I'm Michael Patrick King, host of the official Max Companion podcast, and just like that, the writers room.

Each episode members of the writers room and I unpacked moments from season 2, sharing juicy details you can only hear from us. Stream and just like that season 2, starting June 22nd on Max, and listen to end just like that, the writers room on Max or wherever you get your podcast. What happens commercial? So the cast comes on there, they're like, well over the years we travel around the globe. Yeah, we were in the busiest streets around. That black log, cuz Padma got twists and turns to navigate this shit.

Look what is this movie? I know, you just see Padma standing by the monitor, just like trying to, just just like this is not my brand So I will not engage with this trailer whatsoever. Oh little chrysanteries. How lovely for them. Don't see them at smart people's prom I just like to point out that not one of those cast members of fast and furious standing on the gel mat Wow look at that my dear friend Jason Mo Mo Mo Mo. How do you say is my mo mo mo mo mo mo. Hi Jason, my mom. So who's the fan of fast and furious? Some people raise their hands but embarrassingly,

you know, like you can tell they're kind of embarrassed. Yeah. And so I guess anyone seen them all. Sarah, stop lying Sarah. We all know that you. Yeah. And it's like, has anyone seen them all? Sarah, stop lying, Sarah. We all know that you've seen, but the only one that raised her hand is Vickswar. And she's like, I've seen them all because I love driving. Wow. So let's not have her get behind the wheel of our BMW X5 30,000. She'll crash it. Now, who here is a fan of Federico Fellini?

Anyone? Oh my, if you're a one who likes Italian art films, oh, sorry. Any fans about Moteva didn't think so, Deva. So tomorrow you'll compete in the fastest elimination challenge in top chef history. You'll compete in the notorious Muzon-Bras race. It's always been a quick fire. Chefs, this time it's time to draw a nod, because it's not a quick fire.

It's an elimination challenge. A fast and furious elimination challenge. It goes fast, it goes spirit. Can I go now? Have I set, can you just cut some of that together? For this challenge, you'll be peeling 30 coconuts and stacking them on Vin Diesel Chefs it's time to draw knives in this kind of half baked last minute challenge We came up with because clearly the rest are out. We were supposed to shoot in had a fire

Right this did see this challenge seems crazy. So it's time to draw a knife. So they so we've got teams. We've got a green team, which is Sarah, Omar and Charbel. And then the red team is Nicole, Buddha and Victor, and yellow is Ali, Tom and Gabri. And Tom's like, oh, if I feel good with the team, we know we are the fat ones. So then I feel good about that. By the way, every time they draw a nice routine, every time they pull a knife out of the block, they put in a sound effect of a carcass. I'm like, okay, everyone relax. These are chefs pulling out knives to make delicate, beautiful food. And you're making sound like they're at the auto zone. Okay. Because you know that the movie PR team or whatever that made this deal,

they just keep getting notes. They keep sending notes. Like, we need more fast and the furious guys. I mean, we're sponsoring an entire episode. Did anybody get the knife taught? Did anybody feel anything fast and the furious branded in that do something about this? We're really, we're really concerned

that the audience may think this is about horse racing. So could we just really wanna amplify what this is about? So when they pull the knives out, how about like revving of a car? Really would speak to street racing in Italy, I think. Yeah. We all compete, you'll compete in three pounds

of meat at the Mee's race. Like I like that. Yeah, she wanted me to say Mee's on Blosset anymore. Mee! That's what we call it. It's what professionals call it. And then can you turn your Mee's yet? Yeah, once that race is over, each team will work fast and furiously to create three

dishes featuring your team's Mee's ingredients in just 30 minutes. Wow the fastest elimination challenge in the history of Top Chef The best three will get a trip to fast and The furious part 10 for you and a guest the winners the winners get to go to the world premiere of fastin Oh, excuse me, fast 10. Sorry. Oh, is that what she said? No wonder I got confused. Fast 10. Oh, I get it. Fasted by Elon Musk. That's where we're sending a space shuttle into a street to race. And Buddha's like, we've got to win this one for Vickswar. It's going to be the most technical thing I'll be done. And so now they go to some garage wine bar type place. Because of cars. Don't you know fast the fear is has cars. So they're going to go drink something.

Near a car. So Mars like yeah usually we get this stuff out of the beginning and then by now someone's going to go home and the elimination challenge for this. And Nicole had to do a bath and shallots and she made it through three rounds of hers and her season. And Buddha's like, well, if they give you something amazing like Oony, there must be something to give you a disadvantage if you lose every round. I'm going to think about this really hard because I'm beautiful.

It's a technical challenge. So, Sharbel, he's just joking about how, and his season, he did much better with the quick fires, but this season is doing better with elimination challenges and then they're like cool and then Buddha's like oh Victoire I've been told by the people at NBC universe so I'll have to ask you this question You're a big fast and furious fan who's your favorite actor? She's like Vin Diesel I dream of him Vin Diesel my dad Vin Diesel I just having I'm just never gonna get that image of Vin Diesel doing like the pea signs

in his like sleeveless tank to Padma out of my brain. So now we're back in the kitchen, stupid racing lights again in engine sounds. And then now the judges are all there. And Padma's like, hope you got some sleep. You'll need the energy. Thanks, welcome. Stupid gal. Tom with the dumb hats. And top chef candidate judge, David Zilber, who's going to try and take all of our jobs today by being more fun, wittier,

and more charming than any of us combined. I know. I love David Zilber. By the way, I couldn't remember his name, so I started calling him Justin in my notes, because I really felt like he had Justin energy, but he was adorable, and he was really, he was great. Why have we never had Justin, I mean, see? Just as called him Justin. David Zilber before.

Yeah, David was about to take this whole thing. I was like, I can't believe that I'm not getting mad at him because he's winning. So Tom was like, oh, he worked in normal and he got famous for fermenting a pigling and eating everything. Okay. Is did he say fermenting a pigling? No, he said fermenting and pickling literally everything. Perfect. Sick, you guys. Can I just I rewound this three times? Okay. It's hard. Close captions. And I was horrified.

I was like, you can eat an entire pigling. For men to a pigling. That will, it's a pigling, right? Yeah, that's lame. So I was like, I was very confused. I was very grossed out and I hated this judge at first. Because I was like, ew, he eats an entire pig with piglings.

He invented a new category of baby pigs and then he ate them. So Padma's like, this meas race, you all know what I mean when I say meas, right Sarah? Do you need me to say the full phrase? Anyway, this meas race will take place in three rounds. Each round will have a protein, a fruit, and a vegetable. Round one will feature ingredients from the first three fast and furious films. Los Angeles, Miami, and Tokyo. And Amar is like, I only have to normally do one thing, but this is three rounds, three things for each chef. They call it top chef, we're all

stuff for a reason. And so one of them, okay, so they have to hit out and fan out for avocados. Then, yeah, it seems simple. And they have to call checked and Tom blizzard whistle. You know, we know this whole thing. I don't know how much of this you want to really go deep. You want to go into that. I don't need, yeah, basically the first three ingredients are avocados, supreme eight oranges and then filet 2 whole homages. So, and then whoever in this, me is Reis, whoever, whichever team wins gets first pick of

an ingredient that they're going to feature in their elimination challenge dish, et cetera. So, avocados, your time starts now. Gail, Gail, what are you doing? I said avocados. Oh, I see what you mean. You thought I was calling you an avocados. Oh, I see what you mean. You thought I was calling you an avocado. I like that Um, and so yeah, they just start running around and doing this shit really um Yeah, fast is to okay. Uh, char bell's char bell takes oranges. Um, I take some machi

Um, who cares? Um, our starts doing this. Yeah, I mean, I'm I'm just gonna mention like the things that I noted during, because basically it's like, I know 35 minutes of them cropping food, but Amar is basically like, wow, you know, during COVID, I had to go back to the kitchen, you know, after I opened my third restaurant, and you know, like when I'm working the line, I feel like I'm 20 again. He has this like weird age thing that he keeps talking about, like, I'm this old guy. He's acting like he's 75.

He's 40. He's 40. Everything is like, how old is he? Yeah, he's like 40, 41. And he's like, everything is like, I mean, that guy's 22. Look what he's doing, you know? And look at him.

Oh, I feel like I'm 20 again in Morocco. I'm like, okay, settle down. He also does this thing like he's never, he hasn't touched the line in years and years, which I like too. Like he got, how long ago was Amar on top, Chef? We need to look this. That was when we went to the top,

that was the top chef, that was one that we went to. Oh, so that was quite a while ago. That's right. Five years ago. Well, he began, he immigrated to the US at 13, began his culinary career at 16. So, girl, after working in a kitchen that long, you'd probably do feel really fucking old. Let's see.

Yeah. By the way, speaking of that season, did you hear that Kwame's restaurant in New York City that New York Times just ranked as the number one restaurant in New York City? I sure did. Okay. in New York City. I sure did. Okay, so on his season, he was 33, and that was Top Chef California. Is that already seven years ago? Seventy years ago since we tasted all that food

and then that girl kicked the other girl out of line while we got in the vans. It was eight years ago. What? That was eight years ago, honey. 41, yeah, it was, It was eight years ago. What? That was eight years ago, honey. 41. Yeah, it was, it, and it was, oh, it was announced on Bravo April 14th, 2015. So maybe it, yeah, 2015, 2020, how I can't believe that's eight years.

Time flies. Wow. It sure does. So, yeah, so wow, there's, there's your Omar deep dive, everybody. He's 41, Ben was correct. So I was guessing I didn't know for sure. I thought he was way older the way he talks. I mean, I thought he was at least as old as my old ass. Yeah. So then, um, Buddha, okay, I'm just writing avocado, fish, oranges, Nicole, fish, then Victoria, orange badminton. Avocado, it's your time, it's yours now.

And then Sarah saying as a young female, the kitchen one way that I showed my value was prepping faster than anyone else. And man, Sarah was really fast. Yeah, she was fast at not going to Paris. So she wins that one. And then Orange, then Buddha is next to finishing avocado. And Amar is on oranges. Oh yeah, that's when he talks about not working the line for a long time. Right. And Amar is like, what I see at least struggling with oranges. He can't do them as fast as me. And he's 28. Come on, bro. And then Padma is trying to

do her best sports commentary. But she's it's like, you know, when you, when you watch big brother and they're sort of the live competition and Julie Chan has to do like sportscaster thing and she's like, Paul is in the lead. And now here comes Janice and Paul, Paul is in the lead still. And Janice is doing well. And here comes Tom. That's basically what Padma's doing. She's like, okay, everyone, wow. Amar has two oranges.

Victoria has two and a half. Do you see Ali? I can't see Ali. What an exciting day at the orange races. Look at Gabri go. Yellow team is coming from behind. Watch out, drop the soap. So Nicole Yoss checks and they're like, does she do the balls? And she did do the bone. So she wins. So red team wins round one and they take homochi. The green team

comes in second and they take the orange and the yellow team is last and they take the avocado. So next round will feature ingredients from film three, three, four, three, six, Mexico, Rio de Janeiro and London. So they have to peel and dice eight prickly pairs, clean and devame two dozen shrimp and shell peas for like a cup worth of English peas. Yeah. So Nicole starts peeling the prickly pears. Yeah. And they're playing clown music. They're playing like dummy clown music. And Buddha's like, no, no, no, slid it, roll it out of there. She's like, okay. So then Gabri is going really fast on prickly pairs and then it looks like they're neck and neck, but She wins it. So then shrimp is neck. So Tom C is killing it. Well Tom Collicchio is like

Look at Tom. I mean, he's very efficient. He's just sitting there doing a thing You know very relaxed. No no concerns in the world not Not calling up his father saying hey dad could I borrow some more money? And then his father has to say, well, maybe next time, don't be an exologist. And then you want to call me up for all this money. He's just doing his thing. And we've already sent someone home this season for shrimp poop. So don't leave a shrimp poop.

So then Buddha wins the shrimp. And then it's the pee time. And Victoria is talking about how when she was small, she and her siblings would work on the field together and they would have competitions on the shelling peas. So she wins that one. And so Red wins the second round. Okay, yellow came in second and green came in third.

Victoria chooses shrimp and Buddha goes, it's tactical. Remove the protein from the other team. We know Buddha, we fucking know, dude. The accentical and the tactical. So yeah, the green team is stuck with the prickly pair and the y'all team has peas. So we go into the third round and this round,

ingredients are from Abu Dhabi, Cuba and Scotland. So they're first have to pay a bunch of dates, and they have to rune waz red peppers, and then they have to French to racks of lamb. So Tom's like, ah, I don't know, the thing just wants you to know. We're gonna be real painless about those lamb bones. They have to be clean,

you gotta be careful, we are gonna have real, discerning judges about judging about those land bones. By the way, every single time someone says they're done, there's like barely any pushback from the judges. There was like one moment with an orange, and maybe a half a beat with the with the land bone. But they're pretty soft on this Mewzon Bloss race. I think so, but I think they're there all day on this one,

so they're like, just get the shit. I know. Please Tom. So the team of Gabri Tom and whoever else are like trying to decide who's going to divide up what? And Gabri's like, I could do what was he saying? He doesn't want to do the best. He wants pepper. Yeah, he's going to do pepper and I'm like, I do pepper.

I could do the pepper. I put pepper in his Ling and then I slice really fast. He wants pepper. Yeah, he was gonna do pepper. And I'm like, I do pepper. I could do the pepper. I put pepper in his link and then I slice it up. And the gap is. I do pepper shy so videos. So I could do that. Yeah, I do pepper shy so. And every video in 2005 and I've been on the run ever since. Gabri's like, I can't do lamb.

I don't know how to do it. I've never done it. So I shouldn't do that. He's like, no, you do that. I do pepper. He's like, you do lamb. But I literally don't know how to do it. And I've never done it. He's just, no, you do that. I do pepper. He's like, you do lump. But I literally don't know how to do it. And I've never done it.

He's like, okay, you do it. You have fun. That was the top of you lump. Yeah, that was super shitty. And I was also surprised to see that there were two chefs that can't do lamb. That was crazy. I mean, he wasn't saying he couldn't do it.

Tom wasn't saying he couldn't do it. But he seemed like kind of a whoosh. We sent to be insisting on pepper is someone's like literally not knowing how to do it. So yeah. So now they start and Charbell is doing his dates. I'm sorry. He's like, and he's like, every morning I have dates with my coffee. No way.

Someone is going to beat me. Also, I arrange the dates and do the flag. So he's first and then Victoria second, Ali is third, and they move onto the peppers, and Tom is like very speedy with peppers. So admittedly, this is his strong suit. So Tom is first in a Mars next and Nicole's third. And then we go into the lamb situation.

So Gabri has no idea what to do. And on top of that, when they're trying to advise him, he doesn't seem able to take it in. So he's very confused. And then they cut to Sarah. And she's just yanking meat off the bone. And she's like, yeah, there we go. Wow, that seems like a great trick for Quilt Prom.

Good luck with that, Sarah. Yeah, Sarah's killing it. But the reason that it makes no sense to capri is because Tom is giving instructions like a typical man, okay, when you're driving with a man. Just there, it's right there, but it's right there. Just can't you see it?

Just do that, okay, cut right there. Okay, just turn there. It's like where? Well, I ain't saved left, right? From the bottom, from the top. I need more of a description then do that. Yeah, right there. Can you see it? Can you see it? No, I can't fucking see it. So Sarah's done first, but David's like, hmm, this is pretty good, but I think you need to clean it up a little bit. So

then for a moment, it looks like maybe someone will catch up to Sarah, but they don't. She wins. But then for a moment, it looks like maybe someone will catch up to Sarah, but they don't. She wins. And so she's green team and they win. So they take the lamb. And so they've got oranges, prickly pear and lamb. Is that correct? Yes. And then red has hamachi shrimp and dates.

And Gabri only has vegetables. So they've had peppers, avocado and peas. Right. So now they only have 30 minutes to make these three dishes that feature these ingredients in the fastest elimination challenge of all time. So oh my gosh. So basically just doing another quick fire now, right? So they're just like cooking very fast.

And Padma just keeps on saying that this is the fastest elimination challenge of all time. Like, it's like we're impressed by it. It's like still the same amount of TV time for us, you know? Yeah. So Gabri takes the avocado to feature. And Tom is still all about his bell peppers. So it loves his bell. You can do so many textures.

As I said, I'm going to do fired peppers, serrated pickles, baked fried. Like he loves those peppers. And then Ali is just sprinting around everywhere. And Geil goes, it almost feels like a quick fire. Yeah, but more stressful because someone's going to get eliminated. By the way, Gail, I've got bad news and bad news. You're eliminated. Bye.

We didn't say it had to be one of the chefs. David, you're a new Gail. And then as Ali's running, they once again have like car sound effects like, I'm like, okay, listen, he's not a vehicle. Okay, we don't need car sound effects for every single thing. We get it. It's fast and furious. I mean, there's a car crash sound because he runs and then he falls.

And Adam was like, oh, Gail, there's some food on the pavement. Watch her go. Gail, there's some food on your table. And by table, I mean, the floor. Go get it. While we've got fast and the furiousious and FX playing. Can we also play Adele's chasing pavements? That would be great. Thanks. Gale's exit song. Thanks. I'm just sad that we don't have Fast and the Furious

star, Jason Statham here. So then Tom's like, well, I mean, he's like a, he's like a whirling dervish. Wow. That sounds like Gail's favorite kind of I assume Sunday. So then the red team starts. I hope they have this sneakers on.

And Nicole takes shrimp and Buddha is gonna do some kind of a cake and a date cake, okay? And then Vickswar takes her matchy. So he's like, you know what I'm doing? Baking a cake. Baking a cake in 30 minutes. That's a huge risk. Huge.

Very, very technical. But what makes it even more technical is all these cakes are going to be the shapes of a hand and a skull together. Better get that sweet potato on the fire because it's the fastest elimination challenge ever! Mm-hmm. So, Victoria is going to do a fresh Hamachi tartar with a twill that she's going to make from the dates.

Yeah. And she's going to do it with a Collatura Diallici fish sauce only from Italy. Green team, you can start now. So Gail's like 10 minutes, that was fast. I know when you wait an entire porterhouse in that time, amazing Gail. So Sarah's going to use the loin off the bone for the lamb. And I'm like, my team decided to use all lamb, especially going up against red team with Hamachi and Peron. So their thing is they're going to all feature the lamb, but they're also gonna feature the other things

that they want, like the other ingredients. It's almost like they're scared that if they don't have like a meat on their plate, that they're gonna be disadvantaged. So Padma's like, wow. Wow, everybody's cooking. You can call me up, yes, Pian. I think I do a pretty good job with the play by play. Hey, can anyone see what Sarah's doing?

Why do I have a feeling it's scratching off scratch off in the seven and eleven? Oh, there she is, there she is. I don't want to look, but I thought I saw the shadow of Banjo somewhere. So David's like, well, she's grabbing another rack of lamb to French, but she's going for the loin, smart move, way less cooking time for sure. That was great commentary, New Gale. Love it.

So something is burning. Something is burning, it's Victoria's wheel. So that's a fail. So Yellow team is done first. So it's time for them to get judged. They had peas avocado and peppers. And Tom's like, I made whole roasted bell pepper smoked bell pepper and heads on a puree which are re-so bell pepper, gramolata, fatacura, papapa, papapa, papapa, and pickled pepper on a pepper, pickled pepper on a pepper veggie. And gale sauce. fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat dish is a hot appetizer and it's completely vegetarian. It's smashed peas with basil and mint, spiced potatoes, garlic, coriander, and chili.

I think it looks really good. It does. These all look great. And then Gabrie makes charred avocado with red pepper, bacon, and then then the red. And David's like, you know, I really like this. I really like the acid that was here. And they're all like, yay. So then a mar is burning sugar and Nicole needs help plating. And she's like, why did I have to make this dish so complicated? I was like, wow, she really is Canadian. She's quoting Avril Lavigne, that's like such dedication to her country. Why gotta make this dish so complicated? Life likes that sometimes. One minute dummies, time's up. Just kidding. I said one minute, but it is already done.

dummies, time's up. Just kidding. I said, when minute, but it is already done. So Nicole has a tempera prawn with Thai coconut curry with roasted sweet potato. And David's like, my God, these flavors are simply heartwarming. Am I right? Wow, David is taking the first opportunity to speak every single time. He really is. Like, I think he's trying to get the job. I think so. I respect it. Yeah. And then Victoria serving a ha-ma-chi tartar with that collator. I'd be algae dressing with lemons and dates and gales like, why tartar, Victoria?

Oh, yeah, that was clever. Do that again. Why tartar, Victoria? Gail, that's hilarious. Say it again. Why tartar, Victoria? Oh, my God. Gail, I've never known you to be this funny

And you don't even understand why she's rhyming something that's people smart people problem understand She's a regular doctor moose over there So Victoria answer the question and Victoria's like because it was fresh and the texture was very elegant and The guest is like you know what you get? Beatle mommy. Let me tell you guys. See mommy of that. And that comes like, yeah, and you know what else like a sweet, which was very nice. I was nice to get a little sweet there.

And Buddha's like, oh, you want to talk about sweet or did something so difficult and technical. It's going to blow your mind. difficult and technical. It's going to blow your arms. Dic-Take with me, so Caramel and Picon, proling, oh, day yet I hate it. Day, yeah. And David's like, this is the dessert. I never knew I was missing. Well, you better eat it quickly because with Galarion, you will be missing it very soon.

Ask the tweaky factory. So green team one minute and Sarah's like, guys, we have ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, and Padma lets out her first big wow of the episode. So Sarah featured orange with her lamb and she did duke crusted lamb with burnt orange yogurt and an orange crema nada. Yeah, and she had told us when she was cooking by the way that she's like, I'm gonna just overload this with orange everywhere.

So that's what she did. Yeah, so because that's her featured thing. So she really has to, you know, overdue it. So Charbell is only featuring the lamb because that was one of the three ingredients. So he did lambloin with the carrot puree and roasted carrots with honey, which, you know, yeah, it sounds boring. This is three. And then the guest was like, so were you trying to caramelize this? Because, you know what? You could have gone farther because it's stuck in my teeth. That's, isn't that, isn't that good when

caramelized stuff gets stuck in your teeth? I think it was that like it didn't get out of the chewy sticky phase and you had to get to like the burnt phase or something like that. You wanted to be a little bit farther. And furthermore, why chart how big Twar? God, I love saying that. And then Mars, like I did I did Horissa grilled lamb chops.

You know why Morocco want to fight with it? I was shocked you did not mention Morocco when he had lamb and Horissa. I was like, here it comes. Here it comes. Yep. And he did a prickly pear gastric. And Pat and I was like, hmm, have you worked with this

before Mark? He's like, oh, shit, really is it that bad? Why had I'm just adding a, asking a question? Oh, I've got another one. So why the meditation on lamb? I mean, this is ridiculous. A meditation on lamb. I mean, that's like going to Sarah's hometown, where they only have meditations on quilts.

It just doesn't make sense. What are you, Shirley McClain, meditation out on a lamb? What is that we're doing today? I just don't understand. What are you, 10% happier? Are you 10% happier with your meditation? Why? I love when she gets so mad.

I know. Meditation, a lamb. She woke up the day she was like, wow, I'm so excited for today. The fastest elimination challenge in the hit your top chef. I just hope we don't have a meditation on anything specifically lamb.

You all say, um, because they cut, shut up, Gale, stop reading your trophies from the hamburger eating competitions. Gale, if you think you're impressing Vin Diesel, you're not. It was a pre-recorded bit. And it was like, oh, wow. I think that was the fastest elimination cook we've ever had. I mean, Tom goes, well, I'm not a furious, but the food we had, huh? And she goes, Ha ha, Tom!

Tom! Hello, El Tom! Wow. Talk about a Tokyo drift. That's what we call a gal when she falls out of cars. Anyway, sorry, I had nothing to do with anything just wanted to mention something. As long as we're making puns about fast and furious,

featuring my dear friend, Michelle Rodriguez. Anyway, so Amar in this two room, Amar's worried that they misunderstood the challenge with all that lamb. And Tom is like, not, I would love to attend a training from Sarah with how to butcher lamb, unless the 30 seconds it would help me for how to butcher humans in my apartment before I go on the run again. And Sarah's like, yeah, I usually do that with my teeth, but I didn't want to be classless in the middle of the fast. And if you're God for bed, you'd be classed fast and the furious movie. I'm a fucking right. So at the judge's team, bad was doing her robot laser eyes and they start playing the

judges music and she's sitting there like this. I'm very upset. Why would lamb meditate? What does the lamb need? Much supposed to sleep solidly after the day. Overall, you guys gave us a lot of well thought out dishes, especially for a half hour of time, which I think we can all agree means that this did make it the fastest elimination challenge of all time. So overall you guys gave us well thought out dishes for half an hour of time. Yellow team stay here. Griggan team, red team, stepped to the side. You're all terrible.

Okay. Incidentally half an hour of time is exactly how much plot there isn't each of these movies And Tom G is like oh my god. I'm not on the bottom for vans not even in sling and The guest is like red bell peppers would have been my least and the furious favorite But you really made them sing buddy And the furious favorite, but you really made them sing buddy. Ali, I love that you didn't feel that you needed to give us protein. You didn't need to give us some sort of cock-a-mame meditation on. I don't know. Lamb. Well, you were just giving us, you just gave us peas.

And I thought you did a beautiful job with that. And Gail's like, I also loved the miso brunois potatoes. Of course you did Gail, we figured. And Tom's like, Gabri, you know, the avocado is fatty. And then you took chewy bacon. And you put that on fatty thing. But then guess what? The fat on fat was good.

OK, anyone want to take that? Gail, even you could do that. Yeah, you could do that. Okay, the three of you, congratulations. You get to go to the Fast and World premiere. And then you get to FaceTime Victoria until you're how much fun you're having at the movie franchise that she knows every detail about. And then you barely understand. So we do want to congratulate one winner out of the three already winners. The winner did the best job of featuring the ingredient and wowing us. Tom and Tom's like, oh my god, I love to fasten the fury so I get to go to vote for me. I go and talk to him, be quiet.

Your Lord team stepped to the side and oh sorry. Wow, that really go to vote premiere. I go and talk to him big hot your Lord team step to the side and oh Sorry, wow that really went to your head Listen, well, since Tom gets a ticket to fasten the furious and suddenly he's madman the furious get the fuck out of your time You idiot. I can still take it back. He goes to the fast and world premiere and suddenly he thinks he has a show Papa, it's fast 10. I don't care, Tom, I'll call it what I want. I was married to an avid list. Yeah, hello, team. Step to the side and send it to the green team.

I know the green team can hear me, but I don't want to speak to them directly right now because it's disgusting. Green team, please stand in front of us and don't look us in the eyes. Thank you. Hey, Lord Green team, she wants it. We heard you okay. We're

walking over there. Green team your team had a least favorite dishes of the day and one of you will be going back to playing the banjo on a river while Ned Bailey gets attacked horribly. Or was Ned Bailey the attacker? Actually don't remember. I think she ain't that Betty was attacked if I remember. I believe he was told to squeal like a pigling. Oh Sounds about right Last me gosh, I could have almost used a meditation for that one So green team how did the day go for you? Did you feel like you got your engine started or were you stuck and parked the entire time? Sorry, that was a little bonus. That bonus tie-in for the movie.

Uh, uh, uh. And, Sarbel, it's like, well, I thought we did our best to make the ingredients shine, but we didn't. And Sarbel, it's like, I guess we're realizing now, we didn't really give you what you wanted by giving you one dish orange, one dish prickly, one one dislam we just figured that's how you'd want it so wrong fail hit on the brakes whoops broken tail light hold over please yeah it was actually very excited to try a muffler salad so I

think that's where she's most disappointed. Hehehehe. So Tom's like, no, I thought it was pretty smart. They spread this lemme round, you know? But the individual ingredients just weren't highlighted. It was like, you had this really great idea, like to go into the world of food and beef. And then you just become mixologist. Like, what's even the point? So Gail's like, I like to Mars chops,

but the prickly parrot needed to take more of a role. And you need to take less of a role, weren't you already eliminated? Why is Gail still here? The prickly parrot was like Jason MuMA in the fast and furious. Love him that he's there, but like, why don't we say more of him?

Am I right? Hmm, sounds like you know what? It wasn't about prickly parrot. I'll tell you that much. And Pat, it was like, Shadow, everything on your plate was fine. The gal. What does this mean? For me.

Oh God, I was exhausted. Talk about fast and the furious. I wish we were shooting that right now so I could just lay on the floor and get run over and so we wouldn't have to listen to her anymore. Yeah, I was like watching the sequel to Tar Tar which I only have access to because I'm in the Soho's. Yes, it's called Tar 2, Tarier than Ever. I can't say what it's about because it's an NDA but I will say this, boring.

So let's see, the guest is like, yeah, I mean if you're only using three ingredients, they've got to blow my bloody mind and they didn't, they just didn't Sarah. If you had the best, uh, the orange did feel featured. Everything was orange. Good for fucking you. You did it. And Tom's like, yeah, you know what, Sarah, you did accomplish it because we got orange. And now this one's about our, our, our, our, our, our, our, your guys are in trouble.

And char bell's like, I agree with everything you guys said. So I'm not surprised. Oh, congratulations. You don't get brownie points just for for changing your mind and trying to kiss up to us. Although I do, I kind of appreciate that. Okay. Amar, Charbell, safe everyone. Thanks, Charbell, for agreeing with the criticism of you.

You can leave now. Do you agree with that? Do you agree with that? Do you, Charbell? Okay. Bye, then. I just leave now. Do you agree with that? Do you agree with that too, Sharbel? Okay. Bye, Ben. I just said bye. Do you agree, Sharbel? Okay. Keep walking, Sharbel. Keep on. Oh, and Victoria before you walk out, do you like Tar, Tar, Victoria? I just keep on saying that. By the way, Victoria, I'll let you know how

Tari Knight 2 goes. Get it? Because that reminds me of your name as well. Okay, I've had to, I think I need to have a meditation on LAM again. I'm going wild. I need to meditate. And when I wake up, I'm going to read the Victoria Tarside. Got it. I'm a newspaper. So thanks for coming.

I've lost my mind. Too much LAM. I got LAM brain. So there's a little bit of reading. So, yeah, they're deliberating. And I feel like Shabel in a way did feature prominently the lamb. Well, as a Martin really featured the prickly pair at all. And Tom is like, well, I disagree. And I'll tell you why. Because you said you feature the lamb. The lamb was just on the plate. Man, why not no flavor room?

It was just there. Oh, like gal, right here, right? Yeah. No, no. What I'm saying is the lamb had no taste. Right. Like gal. Right?

No, no. That's not what I'm saying. I mean, lamb, it was just like blah. So like gal, why do I have to keep repeating myself? I needed a new gel mat. The stuff it in Tom's face. So, Tom is like, well, at least I could find the lamb. You know, it's like, well, at least until Galen to the room, then all of a sudden just disappeared.

Then Gal goes, put the lamb's thing, with the lamb of star. Oh, God, you want this autograph, Gal? Jesus Christ. So, Tom is like, well, I don't think I've mar hard at any justice to the prickly pair at all. And I'll say that because just earlier, I told him, oh my God, what an epic of rapa. And then we took that just still. I mean, I didn't see anything prickly or anything pear shaped on his dish. I mean, that doesn't even make sense. So, well, I guess we have our answer. No one listens to me once again.

So let's call them out here. So the chefs come back out and Tom just, you know chefs, listen, you cook, that's where you're here. This challenge was very, very specific. It was about promoting a movie that's part of the NBC Comcast Universal universe. And to that extent, neither of you did it. One of you was supposed to shave your head,

and we're aveless tea. The other one of you was supposed to drive in on a fast car and crash into the counters. The point is this. Yeah, you know what? You're supposed to highlight an ingredient. I'm highlighting a, I'm highlighting a member's club jacket that I'm 30, 30 years to old for. Pat must highlighting how much more famous she is than you. Gels highlighting terrible fashion in general malaise and you guys highlighted dookie squat. Okay. Shabal. Congratulations.

You've been. I'm sorry. You had your line before I had my line. I thought you were going to keep going. So for that reason, one of you is going home and you're not allowed to see fast and the furious. However ever you poor things Shabba ha Shabba

Congratulations, you've been invited to please pack your knives and go prom Please pack your dips and go shabba And a margots damn bro Thanks a more I Mean if you cook as well as you've been cooking in last chance, kitchen, you'll do great. I can't wait to have things to dip things into again. That sounds great. And Sarvelle's like, I'm just grateful to put point country on the map. That's an achievement of itself. And at 25, I'm here. I was like,

Jesus. Another cheesie. Looking like I'm 53 when I'm only 20. What is it? You know what? Lebanese people, I feel like we're really hot when we're younger and we just age so fast. I mean, I started looking 40 when I was 15. Okay. And I think I stayed there until I was about 30 and then I hit 50. I was like, what the hell?

This is not fair. Every day I become more of my jidly. And then I've been okay with it because you can't really help aging for the most part except for shots and peels and all the other shit that I do to myself. But still, that's what you can't change the actual number. But God damn sing him say he's 25. God bless it. Wow. Well, he is the most successful tie in we've had all episode. So to Charbell, who's aged fast and furious. He's aged so fast, it's made Ronnick furious. So congratulations.

He aged just as fast as his sequel. Too fast, too furious. The fate of the furious Lebanese people just to get old quickly. Wow. Well, everybody, that brings us to the end of top chef long live Lebanon. Sorry, that's sex. I was rooting for you, buddy. Well, you might come back. You never know. Oh, yeah, because there's like nine last chance

kitchens. Yeah, he was doing great. Although, yeah, we want him to win because he's up against Dale, but then also Dale was up against Sylvie, Sylvie. So we want so I don't know, I think I want Sylvie more than then Charbell. Yeah, I haven't been watching the last chance kitchens. I've been very, very bad with that. So, you know, we should better at that. We should watch shows. I mean, that's part of the show. Wow. Yeah. All right, everybody.

Thanks so much for being here. Go get tickets for our live show, New York. Yeah, nice week. Washington. Next year, New York is Real Housewives of Jersey, Washington DC's Pomp Rules, tickets available, watch it crapens.com, and then all our shows in June, San Diego's the first one out of those go get tickets. We love you guys. We will talk to you later on this week. If you're only top chef listeners, it's a double episode

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