Watch What Crappens - Top Chef: Too Not Hot to Handle

Episode Date: April 19, 2021

Top Chef shows us many layers this week with their Talenti challenge, and then the chefs attempt dishes inspired by the motherland. Who will win, and who will be fufugazi'd? Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens**We designed lots of face masks for Bravo lovers available at crappensmerch.com A portion of sales go to MedShare!Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I Well hello and welcome to watch what croppance the podcast for all that crap we love to talk about our Bravo. I'm Ronnie and that's been over there. Hi Ben. Hi Ronnie.

Well welcome to Top Chef Monday, huh? Hi, did you mean to start the week off with Padman Gale? Everybody welcome to Top Chef. Had a great weekend, had a lot of fun on our Peloton Waffleton ride. That was great. So thank you to everyone who joined. Go get your tickets for Crappens Live, which is going to be May 6 on L Internet. You can buy tickets by finding the link at watchlookcrappens.com.

And what else do I have to say? That's it, right? That's it. I just hope everyone comes to it. We're gonna have a great time We always do and you don't want to miss out. I have some else to say but I don't guess what I have to say It is time to understand where food came from This recap is brought to you by the talenty family of delatos and sorbetos So we open up with in the stew room I cover talking about top chef, of course, and we're in the stew room and Brittany the alpine chef is crying

because last week, she and then Sasha were up for elimination. Sasha got sent home and Brittany's crying, and she's like, she's saying how she just feels bad because two people worked on a dish, but only one goes home and she's crying about it. And Maria's just like, what are amazing shifts? And we should be proud of what we do.

She's gonna like shut like, shut up. Shut up, Alpine Chef. And she's like, I have survivors killed. I mean, this game is just evil. Emory goes, in a very beautiful way, they all start laughing. I felt like that was a dramatic use of survivors remorse. I feel like that's usually applied to like real life traumas,

not like just like terrible, terrible deaths and not for, you know, serve, not for surviving, you know, be, you know, with a coffee and beer. Yeah, not having enough vinaigrette. You know what I mean? It's a little bit different. It's I'm not having enough vinaigrette. You know what I mean? It's a little bit different. It's a little, just a little different.

So now, uh. Well, please welcome this week's guest, Carrie Baird. Carrie, you might remember, made a cake in a forest in a tin cop. Carrie goes, I buried it. She buried it. So, I think, so I think you're the perfect guest judge to be here.

Smiley, cheerful and a little stupid and not famous at all, just like these idiots. I respect you so highly that I'm wearing bangs today. She's like, thanks, Grandma. As chefs, layering flavors is a key component of what you do every day. For your quick fire challenge, we want you to create a dish inspired by these layers and then all of a sudden, like, we just eat gelato. I'm like, wait, what? So, lenti, layered gelato.

Now I love it to lenti. Okay, don't get me wrong. This is better than having, I don't know, some cheap ass dime store ice cream. Okay, this is pretty good. Not sure how I feel about Tlenty layers. I have not had the layers yet. I prefer their mint chocolate chip. That's a good one.

Or chocolate chocolate chip. I'm not sure about the layers. Layers look not great. I'm okay with the layers. I just thought the tie-in was just hilariously thin. Like, we're all used to cooking with layers. Layers, much like the layers you might find in a T'lenti gelato. It's like what?

T'lenti layers. These gelatoes are cooked for an indulgent 45 minutes. Make a cake, a tiramisu, whatever you want, as long as it has three layers. Take inspiration, create something new. Maybe gale in a t-shirt, then a vest, then an overcoat, or a gale in a t-shirt, an overcoat, and then a blanket on top. What I'm suggesting is that Gail should wear layers.

Everyone agree? Good. Now, just please remember, layers have to be thoughtful. OK, you can't just put paisley on stripes on polka dots. Gail. That's so hard. Don't hate the layer. Hate the Gail.

The winner receives immunity and also $10,000, which is what I spent on my fancy Uber over here poor people And just remember you only have as much time as it takes for gal to boil an egg 45 minutes So So yeah, they have to they have to make their a later dessert and immunity immunity will receive ten thousand dollars Please keep your cool get it because we're talking about gelato gelato when alli wang said cool. what's up, you better Lado. Your time starts now. So if a star is gonna make, he's like, you know what, I think of the candy from my state, a Buckeye, the Buckeye.

Yeah, because he eats a chocolate peanut butter thing, so it makes him think of Buckeye's, which are chocolate peanut butter, which I'm gonna come back to that point later on. And then Kiki says that she's gonna do a play on Peach Cobbler and she's gonna use a sweet corn whip. And for some reason, I have to tell you, one of my pet peeves is when chefs refer to whipped cream as a whip.

I don't know why it drives me nuts. Really? You don't like a shortening of that word? I don't like it. I don't know why. It's like, oh yeah, I'm gonna do this. I don't mind if someone says, I'm gonna put some whip on that. I don't mind that. But I don't like, oh yeah, they're gonna do this. I don't mind if someone says, are you gonna put some whip on that? I don't mind that. But I don't like hearing, yeah,

we're gonna do a sweet corn whip on that. I'm like, say it fully please. Well, what should they say? Peach Cobbler, sweet corn whipped? No, with a peach cobbler, with a sweet corn whipped cream. But what if she's not using cream? What if it's just like the corn is whipped? Peach Cobbler with a sweet corn whipped cream. What if she's not using cream? What if it's just like the corn is whipped?

I, I, I, is your brain baking right now? It's, listen, I'm still in my Moderna malaise. No, I think that if she is whipping sweet corn, I don't think she is whipping sweet corn. I think she's making a whipped cream with sweet corn in it. I know, I just wanted to fuck with you. I wanted to articulate the entire phrase sweet corn whipped cream because it really bothers me when it's abbreviated just a whip.

So Sarah, the Amish looking girl is like, 45 minutes whole. That's a long period of time, but to separate the flavors, it's so hard. Oh God, I don't know if I can do this and do I have the confidence. Will I be okay? Okay, my plan is I'm gonna put yogurt for the first layer, yogurt for the second layer, and I don't know. Yogurt for the third layer.

I just hope they like it. Yeah, let's just say the widest things, and yeah, she really does love a yogurt. So Kiki is the one who's doing this week corner, right? You said that. And she's like, you know what, I really love my garden. And I love making things from my garden for dessert. I'm like, okay, Kiki, you know what,

I'm on your side so far, but don't fuck with me out of dessert. Okay, thanks from your Nothing from a garden belongs in the dessert stop it. Okay, I get that it's no Spirits to say that but stop it. Nope strawberries. Well, okay. I'll give you that yeah They're like legitimately for dessert. I mean they are also like and they invade they're very invasive with salads Which I hate because you know I hate strawberries, but yeah so which I hate, because you know, I hate strawberries, but. Yeah. So, why did I say that? Yeah, generally I avoid natural things with my dessert.

I don't want anything natural. We're like grown, you know? Well, I'm like a lemon or a, like I don't mind a lemon or a chocolate. Like, what would you? Well, I mean, like I'll have like a key lime pie or lemon meringue pie or something like that, which I get is kind of natural, but that's like corn syrup and you know, it's like made very unnaturally

Which is fine like the flavors okay, but yeah, I don't want berries. I don't want strawberry I don't want a banana float like that's disgusting. Mm-hmm. You know, I want I want just my My chemicals and my chocolate my chocolate chemo. I'm also with a banana cake. Banana cake, I'm down with it, because it's cream cheese frosting. You know banana cream cake, you know what, I feel like this is an easy one for me to just completely lose,

because the more it deserts you name, I'm like, oh yeah, that is delicious. At the end, I just like sweet things. So, you know what I'm gonna give it up and just go down the different. You know what, you don't want like a savory, you don't want like a savory dessert. You don't want like herbs.

You don't want things that are traditionally used in same dishes Thank you, Ben. Yes, and I don't like when people say things like oh my god You know I did something with spinach on your dessert. It's like fuck off. You know, that's what I don't like So I will switch Rode like an olive oil cake. Yeah, I will switch roads by saying this I've never seen anyone pour milk as violently as Maria. I'm like, are you trying? What did the milk do to you? I did not notice that, but I can fully imagine it. I feel like she's like Ursula just like making a whirlpool

of milk in there. It's like Homer Simpson grabbing bar, like throttling Bart Simpson. Have you ever seen that mean? Yeah, of course. Yeah, throttling Bart Simpson if you ever seen that meme Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah, that's what she's doing to the milk to get it into the blender And it's just really like Leave the milk alone Yeah, and so that meanwhile Sarah is doing her thing and she's like does they don't have a pastry bag anyone? No one No, they're just like all ignoring her. Like, you've won too many times.

He's like, I want three layers and one bite. So it's gonna be like a Buckeye ball and the inside is peanut butter gelato and then there's gonna be a liquid cocoa graham cracker then there's gonna be pulverized chocolate, and it's gonna be liquid explosive peanut butter chocolate in your mouth. That sounds awkward.

But. Hey, the Tlanti people call, they say, shut up. It's bad, but just poking her head in. She's annoying. So, yeah, so everyone just like, Jamie's saying how she doesn't like making dessert, because she has to measure. She's like, norm it the way I like to go cuz I go Chris is doing a cake with a blueberry pinon noir cream and

Gabriel is doing a liquid nitrogen lime So a bit of course he's gonna try and out Ice cream the ice cream people. There's fun guy. Yeah. And then something's burning on the stove. It's Don's pan. I don't know why I'm talking about all this stuff.

The point is this, Kiki's cream, Kiki's cream. Aha, it was a whipped cream. Her cream isn't working. So she has to like back away from her cream and then just to make, she wants it making some sort of like pie crusts at the last minute that she doesn't love, you know. And then Sarah, so Sarah makes Sarah who's like the biggest self-doubt her. She just pulls out this rack of beautiful cream puffs and she goes, oh, well, these are the most impressive cream puffs I've ever made. Oh, everyone's like, those are amazing Sarah.

Yeah, because she's not a self--dadder. She's a faker. I just don't believe her. She's foe humility all the way. She's like, oh God, I guess she's her terrible cream puffs. But in fact, she's like, eat it suckers. The kick-dollier ass is making cream puffs in five seconds. So now it's time to present dishes. So Brittany is up first.

And she presents a rum ginger bread trifle with caramel apples and salted whipped cream and there's like a little cookie and Carrie's like oh so tell me about your cookie and Brittany's like oh well I didn't make the cookie it's just a garnish and then Carrie like nods really cheerfully but like in the most evil way possible like this fucking bitch didn't make her cookie and I made a fucking cheesecake in the snow I made a cheesecake in snow. And she can't be cooking. That was pretty pathetic. Brittany, who does that? Like who on top chef would think that that's a good idea?

To put a pre-cooked store-bought cookie on top of your damn dessert, just go home now. Get out. Frozen scallop. Like that's the equivalent of a frozen scallop on this. It is. Just go. Yeah. Or like when Kwame himself used pre-made waffles. Like that's the equivalent of a frozen scallop on this. It is. It is. It is. It is.

It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is.

It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is.

It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. read Kwame's book. My friends and I, we had like a little book club last year that lasted for like two books and one of the books we read was Kwame's autobiography actually. And he talked about, you know, getting sent home off of home, like store bought waffles. Wow. So let's see here. Jamie, Krispy Burt and Brownie with a compote in Gelato. Oh wait, who made the parfait, Don? I can't with a parfait.

Don made a parfait? No, you can't serve that. For a dish challenge. No. And Byron, he served up a goat cheese ice cream with jam of figs and dates, and he's liquid nitrogen, and Padma looks at and goes, it's very ambitious.

Sort of like Gail, I think she's going to find anything that works at Marshalls. Am I right? Bless her heart. Bless her heart. She's so ambitious. So Chris did Oregon Trail Hazelnut Cake and a smoked chantelle cream and the music stops for some reason. And they just look at it and go mushroom. On them.

Thank you. Thanks for giving us a dessert. There are minds of the Oregon Trail. Can't wait to see what Thai foie tastes like. So Kiki serves peach pie in a cup, which is basically shortbread crumb because she didn't have time to make the pie crust. And isn't it just like crumbles. It's like crumbled dough essentially.

And crumbled dough, yeah. Padma takes a bite and then just looks over at Karah. He's like, hey you, are you thinking what I'm thinking? That this woman doesn't deserve to stand in front of a beautiful display of Talandi layers? And stewed peaches. Yeah, none of that was a winner for me either. So then Avashar's Bucky bond bonds

with liquid peanut butter and brown butter and Padma piss it in her mouth and just watching Padma try to chew this thing really made the week, it made everything worth it. Yeah, she was like, oh, oh, she's like, I'm impressed with how cold and intact these are and that's not a compliment. Oh. And then Maria says, and she's like, wow, this is really big Maria. Oh, I can't help it. You know that Gale isn't judging this challenge, right?

And then she shows us there serves a smoke wit yogurt. Another smoked yogurt. Has he done that before? Because that sounds familiar to me. No. You smoked yogurt. It's Caceras made the smoked yogurt twice now. Oh, God.

Good Lord. A smoked yogurt. I never knew how much I didn't need smoked yogurt in my life. Okay, but now I know. I wanna try it. I'm excited for it. Blah. And Padd was like, Todd.

And this is nice, Shota. And he's like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha Padden was like, Todd, this is nice, Shota. And he's like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha bottom. Who's on the bottom, Carrie? So the bottom is pretty. I can tell you this much. One thing was on the bottom, a tin can with a cheesecake in a forest. Am I right, guys? Literally at the bottom of the earth. Who's the bottom layer in our tolenti gelato stack? Brittany. So Carrie found, she said that she found the trifle quite sweet and in 45 minutes, I want a cookie that's made by you. Like, I don't know anything. Like you could cook it in a stove and an oven, you know, like that's,

that's, that's cool. You can use an oven. I mean, meeky personally, I would just dig a hole in the ground and make a cookie, but I guess I'm just resourceful like that. And Keke, your unbaked pie dough, that was pretty unpalatable. I'm saying in the nicest way possible, but what that means is it was gross. Shame on you. Tastes of like shit.

Maria, I mean, do I just look like I got off of a season of Survivor where I've been starving 30 days? That was the biggest dish of food I've ever seen. You moron. Okay. But I did like Byron's goat cheese ice cream. That was fun. And Avastar, you didn't serve us flat layers. You gave us round layers. Wow. Wow. I love that you really galed it up with round layers, you know. And I love that there was a crunch to the enrobed chocolate. Should I say that again enrobed chocolate? Yeah, I like that too enrobed chocolate and

The best is avasar and he's like oh my god, oh my god wait I've just got a ding up payment request to my mother dammit Congratulations avasar you just won immunity and $10,000 from our good friends at Tulenti Gelato. And guess what? Your dish will be used to inspire a brand new flavor of Tulenti layers. I'm like wait, he, but he had chocolate peanut butter and was like, oh, I'm gonna make a chocolate peanut butter dessert. And now it's gonna be a new Tulenti chocolate peanut butter base on the his that space on there's I don't know if this was fishy this was fishy because talenty basically picked they're like well the only one that doesn't sound like totally ridiculous is the peanut butter and chocolate ones so what are we gonna what are we gonna serve

people smoked yogurt come on okay smoked yogurt and baklava flavors and yeah. And she's like, thank you for being here for the dumbest challenge ever, dumbest person ever, Carrie. Now please treat yourself like a cheesecake in a tin can. Celebrate it. Barrier, go bury yourself, Stephen. Barrier.

Sheths, I think it's time you hit the road. The season's over, bye. Oh wait, there's more. Okay, for this trip, I think you's time you hit the road the seasons over by oh Wait, there's more okay, uh For this trip, I think you're gonna need a couple of guides and Kwame and Gregory enter. I love that they set up These guys coming in like every week it feels like they set it up as if someone's super famous is gonna come in But still just like two of the people on the panel that are like completely expected. It's like It's two more guys that we know are on the panel, you know

But this time Kwame is in a trench coat. Let's welcome them in welcome them in boys so they come in and She's like guys more and more Portland is influenced by the African diaspora diaspora. diaspora. diaspora. You know what? I'm gonna say it 20 times today. So I'll just say it different every single time. The African diaspora.

The African talenti ice cream. It's into its important, into it. I didn't know how to pronounce it. So I just said to Lentian instead. The Tlenty of Africa? Diaspora. So Kwame is saying how you can't talk about American food without talking about West African

food and that Gregory and Kwame are going to take the chefs to some of the most exciting restaurants downtown that celebrate, you know, African, Caribbean, food, et cetera. And the chefs are going to have to pay homage to these cuisines in their dishes. Yeah, very well summed up, then. And don's like, you know, Don is emotional. This is a pretty emotional challenge for a bunch of people because they're gonna be able to cook their actual food and they don't have to make you know just another grilled snapper or whatever and so they're gonna be you're gonna be serving to a lot of famous judges and kale also at the Hawkson Hotel later so don't fuck it up stupid one of you guys better make some fufu so we can taunt Nileu with it. Oh god. She loves that shit We'll have Nileu at a window outside the Hawkson hotel just salivating over some fufu

We always making fufu don't fuck it up. There's a lot on the line here So they split up into two groups. Yeah, Neely really did love her food. She got all my corn. Food fail. I love food. We get it, Neely. You like food that rhymes with your name.

So this one happened to two groups and go to a bunch of restaurants downtown. And Kiki talks about how in 2019 she was named one of the best chefs of some place, but she had all these businesses and she wanted to start cooking food that she loves and she wanted to change her vision, but then her business partners were like, no, we're not doing that. And so she had to like fight for her own voice to be heard in her own businesses and she was like, fuck that. So I left.

Yeah. And she just wants to shed light on what it means to be an African-American woman in this industry, which I think is pretty great. So now there's two groups of chefs and they're all going to different restaurants. So we're first out of place called Akadi, PDX, and Kwame is telling everyone about how Red Stew is kind of like the mother sauce of West Africa with there's like ginger and peppers and things like that and Britney takes the bite and she's like wow that is spicy whoo and like no one else is flinching and she's just like whoo I was like what are you I was like

could you be a more stereotypical chef of Alpine food. I'm not a fan of spicy food. It was so funny. The editors were even making fun of her because the mother sauce is red stew. And it just goes, it makes the brahbah and just closes up on her face. Yeah. Oh. And then of course Gabriel.

So Gabriel is the asshole that we all hate. And he is the local chef who has that sandwich place and they're eating there And he's like, I'm kind of embarrassed like I haven't been here since been here yet and I live here And he's like saying it almost to be funny, but I'm like Yeah, exactly that's the problem like you're like you're part of the problem Yeah, so don't don is saying you know the problem. Yeah, so Don is saying, you know, there are a lot of chefs that haven't eaten West African cuisine before and now they're enlightened. Now they have. So then we're at another restaurant and they're serving curried goat and he's like, listen, this is really

expensive. So unless someone is offering goat just randomly, you know, it's not every day that you get this. So this is like a super special dish. And Marie is like, yeah, Gaby and I are like, where's the mole, bro? Like, where's the tortillas, dude? This is like mole. Come on. Like, Maria, please don't pour milk on the coat. The running the dish. I have to. I have to, man. And Kiki's crying at the table. She's obviously very moved by all this because she's first generation, Kongoese. And then we go to a place that's Guyani's food and they're eating some puff bread and chana lue.

And just like this looks really delicious. It's like a from a kind of like a street vendor, the little food truck kind of thing they have in Portland. And it just looks delicious and guess what? Pretty like, woo! Woo! Is this spicy? Oh my goodness.

This reminds me of Alabama and Germany. I was like, you're going home. You're still going home. Like, yeah, she goes. Take your way through. She reminds me of like a crab salad in Alabama. Or in Germany, like maybe a schnitzel. It's like, oh God, bye, bye. Bye, bye. Bye store bought cookie. Listen, Gia survivors were more. So what can you do?

So then, then we go to another place where they're having grio, grio, and spicy cabbage pickle. having Grio, Grio, Grio and spicy cabbage pickle. And Chris is talking about how he doesn't really cook Haitian food, even though it's the first cuisine that he's encountered. And you know, but he doesn't really know how to cook it, which also makes me think that he's going to be a little bit in danger. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial. It's time for a crap-in-scommercial! Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest

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in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So then we're at Hoxton to cook and he's still kind of worried. He's like, well, I'm just going to focus my food and try and fit it into this traditional Haitian meal or whatever. And Nelson is doing a braised chicken and Portland's not head Gabriel. He's like,

I'm going to do my version of Red Stew and a lamb shoulder, okay? I'm gonna remove the ginger and I'm gonna use more Italian ingredients. Oh, okay, so you're gonna make tomato sauce. You're gonna make, you're basically making tomato sauce then. What lessons are you learning from this? You're gonna remove the ginger? Like, oh God, he draws me nuts.

So then Tom enters, he's like, oh hey everyone, oh, hey Brittany, what's going on? Oh, there's a macro. Oh, what's going on with this macro here? I don't know what you're doing with this macro, but I can already tell it's gonna be more impressive than anything my son ever does. Let's just be talking about that.

Wow, here is why it is the back of my arm. So of course, you've got macro, huh? She's like, I sure do. Okay. I come from a family of fishermen. So I wanna connect you've got Macro, huh? She's like, I sure do. Okay. I come from a family of fishermen. So I want to connect the food to my personal story. So fish. That's right, Tom. All right. Glad I wasted time here. Don, how's it going with you? And she's like, yeah, well, I'm doing good. I mean, I'm doing a braze. And that's rustic. So I just hope it's not too simple.

Yeah. And Tom's like, well, okay, we'll let you get back to see it tomorrow, Tom. Oh, okay. All right. Don just basically excuse me, Tom. Bye on my face. Yeah, busy. And then Tom is with Keith. Then he goes over to Kiki and Kiki's talking about how this is a very emotional Challenge and sick the first time she feels like she's eating food from home emotional challenge and it's like the first time she feels like she's eating food from home. And their dad's from the Congo, yeah. Yeah. And so she's your dad to coat in. So she's making a dish that she learned from her dad. He's like, so tell me what's it like to have a proud father. You should tell my son about it. Hey, you want to use my cell phone or? So wait, let me get this straight. You're actually respecting the gifts that your father taught you. Is that what you're thinking?

So then Jamie's like Fred snapper and he's like wow, okay, no, I say I'm gonna move on really quickly from here. Thanks And Shota is doing cabbage pickles and sauteed cabbage and black cod with the jerk spas doing cabbage pickles and sauteed cabbage and black cod with the jerk spas. Yeah, and you're saying how in Japanese cuisine there's not a lot of spices, so it's going to be a challenge from... So, um, so day one ends and then the next morning Brittany's giving herself a pep talk in the mirror. She's like, you got this, Brittany, you got this. Just do your own Alabama and Chesapeake Bay, German, take on West African food. You got this. When they doubt mayonnaise, don't forget that, Brittany.

So Chris, just every year, every year to the red stew, it'll be perfect. So Chris is telling us that new Hampshire is like a little bubble and he goes, but today I realized eating that food that like food is a good way to relate to each other. Well, welcome to your job, Chris. You're a legend. So Maria's like, oh, I was gonna be that Mexican and say tortillas, please. I mean, that's how good it was. I'm Kim Maria so far. I love Maria. I love Maria and Shota. So Don is working on her chili sauce, it's just a plan hot sauce and she's just cooking from her roots and she wants on her grandmother's cooking and then Kiki

Well, things are not going so well with Kiki. Her Fufu is taking a long time to smooth out, but she's hoping that since it'll be in a stew, it won't really matter that it's not smooth. Right, and here's what's weird is that she knows, yeah, she knows it's not right, and she knows that it's gonna need sauce to fix it, but then she just places it on top of the sauce at the last second, so it doesn't have much of a sort of anything.

Yeah, I was worried for her too. Yeah. So the judges all arrive at a restaurant and Pam is like, hi, thanks for coming. It's so great to have you guys. I feel like I'm here with a whole bunch of talenty layers of flavor on the shape of Richard Blaze, sit at the children's table, Richard. It's amazing to be here. So many talented people and then a bruise blister.

Hello, Gail. Gail's like a blue thing with like a terrible like white blistered pattern on it. So Kwame is like, yeah, I asked them if they had African cuisine and they all said no. And I said, yes, you did because if they had African cuisine and they all said no. And I said, yes, you did because it's everywhere. You just don't know it. Oh, thank you. Thank you for explaining that to them.

And in a roundabout way, explaining how patterns actually can work well to Gail. Gail, take a look at this shirt. Kwame, could you say that again slower for Gail? She smells fufu in the air and I'm afraid that she's a little distracted. Sorry guys, Miliu's calling me really weird. This is like the fifth time in a row. Hold on one second, I want to take a picture of the table and say, fufu about to come out, hashtag Niliu. I'm gonna tag her to be great hilarious. Fufu without you you you Neelu Wish you were here. Sorry, I forgot to invite you

So in the kitchen Britney's getting ready to serve and she's like my red stew might be overwhelming So I'm gonna add coconut cream to it because you know You know what people don't like when they're eating West African cuisine spices Yeah, it's like Britney you have thought everything was too spicy. So if you're, but like everyone else has loved it. So if you're eating something that is too spicy for you, you're on the right track. Don't add coconut milk to it. Yeah. So now it's time for the first dishes to come out.

So first is Byron who brings out a pan-seed snapper, marinated in red stew, a fritter of cassava, escabet, and salted cod. And then Brittany is like, well, I've never had West African food, but I have had food in Alabama and Germany. So it's kind of the same thing, right? I made pickled macrol and I made a pickled macrol

with an all-spice fritter and a red stew coconut sauce that I got from a bottle at Trader Joe's enjoy Yeah, and Nelson's like yep and Something about oh he said being word being Dominican this totally made sense to me And I did this with plantains and a bean puree so they leave and Tom's like, well, you know Salt cake is good or the salt cut, you know, it's pretty good. Uh, uh, and then they don't feel like, uh, there's any depth to Britney's red sauce. And Richard blaze at his other table. It's like, I'm finding the fritter to be

very tough right now. I wish I had a corny joke to really hog the cameras with it, but I can't think of one. I'm so sorry everyone. And Melissa sticks up first. She's like, well, I did like her macro though. And Kwame expected more from Nelson. She's like, basically, just keep serving the same thing every week. Like we've had this from him before.

So next round is Don, Jamie, and Portland's not head Gabriel. Yeah. Jamie serves up a crispy snapper with turmeric, couscous, and pickles. And Don has our curried goat with crispy roti and potatoes. And Gabriel has an organ lamb shoulder braised in stew with goat cheese and olive oil mash. Okay, this does not even look like he's trying. It's like mashed potatoes with the lamb shoulder on top of it and a tiny little bit of salt. Like, there's not even really that much sauce on the plate.

This guy didn't even try. He did not even try. What? Just because you had a braised goat does not mean that like goat cheese is like counts. Go cheese is an awful mash. What? Yeah. So, so, Gail is like, I really like Jamie's,

you know, I like Jamie's. Her fish is just light and crispy, and the Pickling Juice reminded me of a classic Vietnamese dipping sauce. Quiet Gail, no one trusts you anymore. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And then the lady from Akadi,

I didn't write down her name till the end, so I don't know it right now But she's the best because she's there and she's sitting at a table with her friends And she's the most brutal out of all the people there, but for this one She's like, oh my god, I recognize the couscous on Jamie's dish. This is so cool Yeah So wait, was that Jamie's dish? Yeah, that was Jamie's right. So she's psyched and she really liked that one and then next up is Don's don's food talk about don's food and Richard saying that she basically nailed the inspiration

It's the first it's the first recipe that he wants the rest first is she wants a recipe for and then Tom was like Then they start talking about Gabriel's dishes. She's like, no, I like Gabriel's dish But these designer mashed potatoes. I'm kind of over it. Are you talking about Gaia because I call it designer mashed potatoes too. And yeah, no one's really into it, Richard goes, yeah, you know, I'm gonna say it. What's his button? Sportless nothead. Why can't I ever remember his name? Portland's not head. I can't remember his name.

The Portland's not head, guys. Dish is too white. Okay, I said it. I'm allowed to say it because I am also too white. So there you go. It's out there. From one too white guy to another too white guy, this is too white. So next up is Kiki, Chris, and Sarah.

Chris did a red snapper with mushroom and bean puree and plantain pickles. And Sarah did a cocoa rice porridge with jerk gravy peanuts and pickles. Like her sounded insane. Yeah, I think she started naming that. But it looked beautiful. Her's like beautiful.

It was like an ice-cream bowl with all those bright colors. And Kiki made Saka at Fufu, so it was like her stew and the Fufu. And so they basically feel like Chris tried really too hard to reinterpret Haitian food. I mean, that's kind of a big deal. If you're trying to cook Haitian food for Gregory, that's he's like really good at,

that's kind of like his thing, right? So Chris kind of falls flat and Tom's like, yeah, he made a bunch of technical mistakes here and the plantain is just like way too dark and bitter, sort of like the feeling you get when you find out your son wants to be a mixologist instead of a world-class chef, just sort of dark bitterness around that topic, anyone?

Well, I'll tell you about that weird, almost girls food. I would order that again and again. And Greg's like, yeah, that was a really bold move. I mean, pickles and my ampionettes. I mean, that was really out of the box. Sima down there, Gregory. And then, Gail's like, you know,

I really enjoyed the flavors of Kiki's Saka, Saka's too. You would design a mashed potatoes. And Kwame calls out to Fufu. He's like, yeah, this isn't cooked right and it's cold. And everyone agrees. And then it cuts to the lady from the restaurant. She's like, yeah, no bueno. That was not good.

Fufu, not good. So now we have Gabe and he's put out a braised chicken with heirloom beans and plantain dumplings and a curry leaf escapete and avashar has made shrimp and grits with an eggplant escapete. And Kwame loves avashar's dish, absolutely loves it. And Gregory thinks the beans are perfect. The basically both these dishes are very well received.

Yeah, they like both of those, and then next up is Shoda and Maria. So Gail's like, wow, that is a full plate. Well, it's like breakfast, daygale. So, have a long right Gail. Hello full plate, daygale. So. Not for long, right gale. Hello, full plate, my old friend, right gale. Oh, full. It's the sound of gale. And Maria.

Maria serves a black eye, pee, cream with oxian avocado, and showed us has his black cotton cabbage, all that stuff. So Gregory likes that Chota's dish, reads Japanese, but when he tastes the sauce, it's anything but that. And Tom just keeps going, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, someone's gonna muzzle for Tom, he's losing his mind. Could someone take Tom off the cattle, please? So Amara's like, I was waiting for the spice and boy, did I get it? And Richard's like, you are crying.

And the table behind them with all these big guys are all crying too. It's like, yeah, it was really hot. They're like, Amara, where did you find that little bone? He's like, oh, I just kept it from last week. Well, my problem is that Maria's is the final dish and you know what? I've just I've had so much to eat. I don't know if I can even get into this hand it to stupid over there Gale open up Look at the look at gas face. She's totally confused by what you're going through Tom

But they loved it. They love from areas and Tom's like wow extraordinary cooking All right, what everyone we have to get back to judges table Thank you again for opening your restaurants and for dining with us. It was lovely to have you now See you never unfamous people was lovely to have you. Now, see you never unfamous people. Bye. So in the steering pad, my cousin's like, hello, everybody, we'd like to see shoulder, geeky, dawn, Britney, Chris, Jamie, and to Lenty, the lovely family of to Lato's that are cooked for over 40 minutes. And for the rest of you, we never want to see you again, but unfortunately we're

contractually obligated to do about 15 episodes. So see you soon losers. So let's see here. Jamie showed it on and Jamie, you can stay over here. Losers moved to the side. You had a favorite dishes of the day. And Kiki just looks like she's gonna start crying. And Jamie say, well I love my dash, okay? I mean Akati just, boom, boom, boom, boom, me, really hit me. I mean my mom and dad, they were, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, all right, but it sounds like a trash truck arriving in the morning, I'm gonna assume you're

happy. Alright, but it sounds like a trash truck arriving in the morning. I'm gonna assume you're happy You can really tell your heritage because of the sweet notes and the taught notes But you still showed us how these flavors could be translated in a modern way and Gail goes Yeah, it felt like you've been making this dish for years I know and the iron is it felt like you've been making it for years and Gail ate it in two seconds. Am I right everyone? Wow you've been making it for years and Gal ate it in two seconds. Am I right everyone? Wow. So they move on to Don and she talks about how she braised in coconut curry and she's like, oh and I forgot to tell you you're supposed to eat it with your hands. And Padma goes, I did. I mean, listen, don't worry. I felt like Gal had a cattillion, you know? Listen, I ate it with my hands and you should've seen Gail.

She just lifted the plate and dropped it down her gala. God, she loved it. That's her heart. So, Don's like, you know, I, this was actually really touching to be able to cook my own food, you know. And Pat and I go, it's been a long time coming. So then Shota, Sessie felt really relieved because he doesn't normally use spices. And Tom's like, yeah, you know what? I thought it would basically be a Patman Gail

and an elevator and just clash and clash and clash. But it was actually really good. That's great. Well, all of you clearly were very inspired. Unlike those three losers standing by the wall over their lizzas. Great. Well, all of you clearly were very inspired. Unlike those three losers standing by the wall over their lizzas. Can't wait to tell my good friend. Can't wait to tell my good friend, Lena, Ways about how awful your food was.

There can only be one winner. And the winner is... Hold on, someone say diaspora again. Sorry Ben. We have to say African diaspora again. Please somebody somebody okay, Ben Please continue what you were gonna say The winner is the talenty family of lair dyes. Oh wow So special so special

So special, so special. DONE! So, Don's psyched and she's like, you know, I've hit a few ups and downs and I've hit my stride and Kwame's like, you're making your ancestors proud. She's like, thank you. So then, we get the losers! Step forward, Stampings! Okay, let's start with you, Kiki. I'm gonna ask you the million dollar question. Were you happy with your dish?

There's only one right answer and she's like, well, you know, I just wanted more time to cut the stew down and you know, I just felt really rushed and they're like, it wasn't the stew wasn't the issue. It was the fufu. Yeah, it wasn't the stew stew. It was the fufu, dude. So, Kinky's like, yeah, well, typically I know it's supposed to be more gummy, but, you know, I'm first generation conglise, and so this really hit home. I mean, I spent years cooking other people's food and feeling like that's important, but my food isn't important. And so if I go home, it's not going to sit well with me. I was like, well, that felt, that felt vaguely like a threat and I just wanted to remind you you can't

spell stupid without stew. Okay. Moving on. So Britney's like so wait was mine too spicy and I'm like no it wasn't spicy at all. She goes oh but I put coconut milk because it wasn't spicy enough. She's like I just hope I didn't blow out your pallets because I added some extra salt teams in there. Was that too spicy for you guys? You know what it seems like to me, Brittany? It seems like you're not letting yourself cook. What's your story?

And she's like, you know what? Like I'm realizing I don't really have a story. I mean, I make food that isn't for my life. I mean, I cook from my head and not my heart. I was like, what, are you just like packing your bags with your words? I know. Maybe she's trying to do the whole underdog thing

where she's like, okay, I'm setting you up to give me a story where I learn to cook with my heart. And then when I win, it can be like, oh my God, this year I learned to cook with my heart. But, you know, yeah, I think she's packing her bags. I'll tell you what your story should be unpublished. Get out of my face. No one wants to read about mayonnaise and bad tattoos, Brittany. Move to the side. Chris, walk us through your terrible, terrible dish. And he's talking about how there's a struggle of growing up and not knowing how to cook Haitian food.

And he's like, you know what, basically, you gave us a collection of ingredients, not addition. Just like Gales outfit, there's no point of you. Good one Tom, I love it when we pile on. I mean, you're here to cook, right? So, you know, stop tossing in the air, you know, Tom Cruise Shakers and do something with your life. And he's like, okay.

So, you know, right now, this is like Gail staring at a pie-to-vice cream and a jar of peanut butter. It's a tough decision. Gail's like, well, you know, with Britney, there's a difference. You know, there's a difference between spicy and bland. You know, well, unless the bland thing is wearing, you know, there's a difference between spicy and bland, you know, well, unless the bland thing is wearing, you know, like a spicy dress. Remember that time we went dancing, Gale?

Ha ha ha ha. And Gale goes, it wasn't that it needed heat, it needed seasoning, it needed like flavor. Of the pamm, it just jumps in there. Flavor, I got the word, I know what the word is, Flavor, I know it, I know it, everyone. And it's like, yeah, Brittany's was kind of sad, right? And she's like, yeah, well, you know, Chris really did have the chops to make plantains. Yeah, he wanted to give us everything,

but he didn't know how to do everything. Just like you, picking up patterns for yourself. Such a shame, Gale. Every single time. It's, uh, it's really tough to, uh, understand the African diaspora. And that's why it's a challenge, okay? Thank you for getting diaspora again in their time. It's really my favorite way. You know what? Favorite word of the day. Oh, darn.

Tulenti. Oh, such a battle. I have three favorite words. Tulenti, diaspora, and exacto. Am I right, everyone? Great words. Great words. Bit me. Go home, dummy. Oh, wait, I forgot we have to eliminate someone. You get out of your Alpine cook. And Brittany's like, you know, I mean, I'm not upset. The pressure was intense, but it was surprising how much confidence my, or how much my confidence took a hit, you know, our culture tells us it only matters if you win. But the experience can be winning too. The great speech loser.

Hey, guess what this means? You didn't win, not winner. Go! If this is your story, I'll make a terrible movie. Who ghost wrote this? How man? Get out! Is this the story of a girl from the Chesapeake Bay who cooks a grier and doesn't know what spice is? Stupid, get out of here. You're like a

talented layer with only two layers. I mean we need a three for crying out loud. That brings us to the end of top of Sepha. Well, it was a fun time. We'll be back tomorrow with some below deck sailing. And yeah, go to our website watchcraftpans.com and get your tickets for a live recap of Real Housewives of New York season premiere which is happening in the first week of May all the details are on the website and yeah and if you're missing if you're missing Real Housewives of Atlanta and Mary D'Medison those are on our bonus episode this week, so join Patreon and find those, okay?

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