Watch What Crappens - Top Chef: Twinning of the Herd

Episode Date: March 29, 2022

*Also avail as video on Crappens On Demand http://bit.ly/crappensvideo* Top Chef has a twin plate challenge with the one and only Wylie Crazypants Dufrense and someone fries a biscuit. Will P...adma ever recover? We're on tour! Coming to Denver and San Francisco or catch our three night grand finale in Austin, Houston and Dallas! Get our tour stop dates and your tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com and find tour merch including new Crappens leggings and pins at crappensmerch.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Corruptions! The podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about on you, bros. I'm Ronnie and with me today, his gorgeous, thin, his pretty, his nice, his good-hearted.
Starting point is 00:00:55 It's Ben Maddleker, hi Ben. Hi, how are you Ronnie? Good, how are you doing? I am so great, it's raining here in LA, which means it's such a cozy day. And I could not think of anything coosier than spending it recording with you. Well, isn't that sweet? This has been the longest I've gone without talking to you in years. I mean, I haven't even texted you since Thursday. I know so much has happened. So much has happened since Thursday. I don't know if you've been paying attention to the world Pop culture is going crazy trying not to
Starting point is 00:01:30 Everybody welcome to the show today today is top chef day very excited, okay? But also we're excited because we are still on tour and this weekend We are going to Denver which is Colorado and we're going to Denver, which is Colorado, and we're going to San Francisco, which is in California, okay. And we're going to be doing crap in life in both those places. We're going to be doing Real Housewives of New Jersey in Denver, and then we're going to do Real Housewives of Orange County over in San France. San Francisco is sold out, so sorry, but, you know, travel to Denver, make a week out of it. That's what we're going to do. It's going to be a super fun time. Go get your tickets over at watchwhatcraftens.com.
Starting point is 00:02:10 Also, this is almost done. We're finishing up and no, it's not almost done. We've got no, it's a week and close. Three weeks. Well, after this, we're going to have just like, yeah, two more, but two more like two more weekends. Yeah, so go find your, we're gonna finish in Texas. Remember that much. We're gonna finish at the Austin Moon Tower Comedy Festival. And that's a Tuesday, then Wednesday, we're going to Houston, then Wednesday, no. Tuesday, we're going to Moon Tower in Austin.
Starting point is 00:02:39 Wednesday, we're going to Houston, and Thursday, we're going to finish up in Dallas. So we're finishing on a Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Sure is. We don't care. We're gonna do it anyway. So come join us for those. Get your tickets at watchupcrapants.com.
Starting point is 00:02:53 This is a crap and on demand video. So we're extra, extra today. So if you want videos, go to crap and Patreon, which is patreon.com slash watch what crap it's guy. Yeah, it's going to be, this is going to be a very exciting video because it's Monday, Emerge is crazy. So that's why. Yeah, so I'm just wondering, I didn't pay it off.
Starting point is 00:03:20 Monday is take a seat night over on the green room app by Spotify. So just download that app. Join us. It's our live show. We do it at 7 p.m. Pacific and 10 p.m. Eastern every week. We talk to you guys. You talk to us. It's not a recap show.
Starting point is 00:03:33 It's just shooting the shit show. So come by there. Let's meet each other. Let's talk. You guys talk to each other. We'll be back as laugh. So we'll see you guys over there tonight. Now, today, very important, it is Top Chef Day. Okay today very important. It is top chef day. Okay.
Starting point is 00:03:46 Double gangers. Wow. I'll live the episode. The doppelganger is wow. doppelgangers.com. Wow. If you look in your listings, it should say that. Yes, girl. They even said the previously on top chef. Yes, girl. Previously, I learned gay slang.
Starting point is 00:04:08 Yas girl. Yas girl. And they said our favorite gale line too, which was, wow, we're all in beep slurp mode. Does anyone know how to reset this thing? Get us out of slurp mode for crying out loud? Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 00:04:29 Gale, stop licking your laptop. It's in sleep mode, not slirt mode. Oh. So we opened with partners, Banks, which I don't know. It was just an odd choice. You know, and I'm not anti-banks for everybody, because when we were racking on Kyle for that entire season I'm like, I got my bangs for the movie Halloween, but you might have heard that I'm in the movie Halloween
Starting point is 00:04:51 I'm in a film it's Halloween it requires a bangs It's just I don't like Kyle Richards generally. I don't mind bangs Patma has a weird head for bangs. It's not it's not a head that's made for bangs. It's too ovally It makes her head look like an egg. I don't necessarily mind Padma's bangs, but I think it's weird that she has bangs in the opening credits, but not on the actual show. I think she had another season where she had bangs, but she maintained the bangs. It was like, there was bangs consistency, whereas now we only get like a touch of bangs, but not enough to really be able to lean
Starting point is 00:05:29 into our normal bang jokes that we like to do. Right. Maybe it was a bangs wig that's in the opening. Maybe she's like, today I'm gonna go with bangs, and then a whole season people could be like, wait a minute, where are the bangs? Like maybe that's her big mystery adding storyline to this season because her head did look more ovally.
Starting point is 00:05:48 So maybe it's like a lazy wig where you don't even pull your hair all the way back and the thing you just threw the wig on over. Any grab one? I was bad by my dear friend, Jim Parsons, who's not only a member of the LGBTQA plus community, Yas girl, but also is on the Big Bang Theory. I learned so much from the people in my life.
Starting point is 00:06:11 So, Pudmus Bang's open us, and then I always watch everything with the captions on because I miss everything, basically, I'm old. So, I watch it with those, and also I can feel like I'm reading. You know when people are like, you're not smart, You don't read. Oh yes I do.
Starting point is 00:06:26 I read the closed captions on every bravo show. Bia! Yes girl. Yes girl. So they opened by saying the closed captioning said, fast-paced music and then the music place is like, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. Okay, close captions.
Starting point is 00:06:49 Yes, yes, close captions. Yeah, yes, yes, close captions. Yeah, and it's Monique writing in a diary. And I feel like she's just like talking about how she's been coasting in the middle of the pack. And you know, when I became a mom, I almost started to like lose myself, but you know, I just
Starting point is 00:07:05 want to remind my kids that I can be a strong person and I can do this. So I thought of Miele she was going to be going home because it's always the person who says that at the top of the show, and then at the end of the show when they get sent packing, they say, I'm just so proud of myself because I just want to, I was able to show my kids like, go for it because you can succeed. And they always say that when they've just failed, I was like, that's the weirdest thing. So I thought they were setting us up for that. But I think the new thing that Top Chef is doing is that they give, like, the call of doom
Starting point is 00:07:35 a week ahead of time now. Oh, that's smart. I don't know. I don't know. That's right. That's the new smart you're not, but I'm going with that. I like it. I mean, what?
Starting point is 00:07:44 We're only about three weeks in, three or four weeks in. So I, there's not a lot of, not, but all I know is that the call from the person who went home today received a call from home last week. So. Oh, no. I do notice that they're doing a lot of fake outs with the call to home now, you know, because they kind of repeated it throughout the episode with Monique. They're like, oh, Monique's not gonna make it.
Starting point is 00:08:06 And then she was fine. Well, no, it's not only was she fine, Ronnie. She was also like, usually when you get those vignettes, it's to set up someone failing or someone excelling. And she didn't either. She was continued to be mid-pack. So either she's going to be a finalist at the end of the show or she's going home next week.
Starting point is 00:08:27 Well, I like it. They just keep her in the midst. She's like, I'm insecure about being in the middle. They're like, we'll have fun. You like the meat of a sandwich. You're just always in the middle. I like that she was saying, yeah, I like that she was saying, you know, I mean, it's motivation because I'm in the middle because when I become a mom, I started to lose myself. And I want to remind my kids, like if they're not nice to mommy, she's leaving for months to do a reality show or whatever she said.
Starting point is 00:08:50 Listen, if you want your kids to remember to appreciate either so place that you can take them. It's called the orphanage, okay? Drop their asses, just say I can't handle this. Drop their asses off for a little while. And send their dad back to get him later. I know. Also, there's something with Monique. We haven't really discussed this, but for some reason I find it to be so funny that her
Starting point is 00:09:10 business is called Tarts to Febass, because her last name is Febass, and for some reason I do find myself just randomly saying, Tarts to Febass! I don't know. I don't know if that translates to funny to everyone else, but for me, I just think that name Tarts to Febess is so funny to me. I just always laugh whenever I say they put it up on the screen. Well, I mean, it could be a bakery or it could be like a family brothel. You know, it's just been around for a really long time.
Starting point is 00:09:34 You don't know. So it makes my knee more interesting for sure. Yes. Good morning, chefs. As everyone walks into the top chef kitchen and they walk in and Jay is like, you know, I'm walking into the kitchen thinking it's going to be a great day. And then I see these biscuits and I don't like big. I don't, I don't think I don't like to big.
Starting point is 00:09:54 I'm, I just like to get big, which I was like, oh, I was not expecting Jay to say that at all. She's really sort of surprising me. Jay is amazing. Jay is a Jayzing, okay? And she says these little lines now and then she just laughs her ass off her herself. Which you know, I appreciate
Starting point is 00:10:10 because I laugh at myself as well. But she's like, I just like to be baked. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha does the full ROFL you go Jay she does. Please welcome back. Yes, go ahead. You say another. I'd rather you say it. No, you say it. You say it. You say it.
Starting point is 00:10:30 Stop a gang or me. Okay, you use the code word doppelganger. So I'll go ahead. Chris Williams, you might remember from judging one of the challenges where they were 19,000 guest judges at a dinner table. He was the one that was on his phone falling asleep. Well, he's also known for having a mother with a restaurant named Lucile, which explains why he was so bitchy when he was judging the
Starting point is 00:10:55 first challenge on his phone, Chris. Hey, Chris, you want to swipe something on your phone? No. Okay, let's get on with the challenge. Chris is grad mother, his cook for LBJ and MLK junior and Chris has an iPhone way to go, way to keep up the family legacy, Chris. Wow, not a pro Chris. I spot two cameras on that phone. Poor Chris. I bet grandma would have had three cameras. Oh well, anyway, so Chris says that his grandma authored a cookbook in 1941 and she came up with a nation's first hot-roll mix. And Pamela goes, sounds like Lucille was on a roll. That's called comedy, due to my good friend, Alibaba. It is a biscuit challenge. Now normally, the biscuit challenge is a whole last challenge,
Starting point is 00:11:51 but today we're gonna pretend you can make biscuits in five minutes, okay? It's the top chef. It's the top chef quickfire dream that never fucking happens. Okay, I was watching that tournament of chefs or whatever the fuck the other day on the food network. Nothing, you've been watching that show for so long.
Starting point is 00:12:07 Well, I'm an obsessive person. So once I have it, I just roll through the whole thing. So I'm on season two now. Not gonna tell you who I am the first season, even though I want to. So they made like, they on a roll. They made fried chicken, one guy made fried chicken and mashed potatoes in 30 minutes. Bullshit.
Starting point is 00:12:30 Bullshit. There's no way, there's no way. It's unrealistic, unabrying it. Yeah, I think that the timing on those shows are sort of bullshit. Well, it's like, you know, Iron Chef, when they're when they're like, you have like an you have an hour to make these things. And here's your secret ingredient.
Starting point is 00:12:51 They actually get there and they get their secret ingredient ahead of time. And they have time to plan it. So the timing is all bullshit on those shows. That is bullshit. Well, this one has Guy Fieri doing that. It's the determinator or whatever it's called. It's like a big wheel that they've been to see like what's your special ingredient?
Starting point is 00:13:11 What do you have to cook it in? What crazy thing, you know, it's like a big crisis right wheel and it doesn't have any handles on it. So Guy Fieri just puts his greasy, you know he's got greasy ass hands. And he just puts both his palms at goes on every single wheel. That's disgusting. I know.
Starting point is 00:13:31 It's a time of moving. They've got everybody in the audience sitting six feet apart from each other with masks on, but fucking fieties up there like. And of course, the food never would not supply handles for their wheel, of course. I know. It doesn't even stop right Like it's all it comes. It's like sardine It's not weighted properly so it just bounces
Starting point is 00:13:56 course Right needs to be paid on that show. So quick fire biscuits. I don't believe it. So everybody runs around. And Monique's like, I've made biscuits, but I don't have my recipe, you know, I am a baker after all. I do have a bakery. It's called Tarts de Fabes, not biscuits de Fabes. So, um, um, um, Demar is going to do like a drop biscuit. And which, I feel like they should say what a drop biscuit is. I mean, they should say what a drop biscuit is I mean, I feel like I've it's a term. I've definitely heard. I'm assuming you just drop it into Something I don't know. I don't know how to drop this could I just I've heard of them because I haven't made
Starting point is 00:14:34 too many biscuits in my life And he's just like talking about how he's talking about how uh in his family like uh, you just You learn recipes by just doing them over and over you don't get to you don't know anyone writes down a recipe in his family, like you just, you learn recipes by just doing them over and over. You don't get to, no one writes down a recipe in his family. You just have to do it over and over and over and over again until he doesn't find it. Yeah. And then big dumb jackson's like,
Starting point is 00:14:54 I'm gonna do an additional biscuit. And he's also gonna do some ostrich because you know, it might be fun. And also ostriches stick their head in the sand. And when their head is in the sand, they can't just metal taste anything. And then Luke is being so Luke. He's like, yeah, well, I've spent the past eight and a half years
Starting point is 00:15:17 out in Europe and like the biscuits and gravy thing. Isn't really a thing out there. You know what's a thing? Seweed. Seweed and gravy. Hold the gravy. Just seweed. I'm really a thing out there. You know what's a thing? Seaweed. Seaweed and gravy. Hold the gravy. Just seaweed. I'm just gonna serve seaweed today. He really does. I mean, what is a thing out there? You know, is it just things that grow on rocks? Like you guys, you got some biscuits? Come on. You've got some home style people out there who want a biscuit. Everywhere has biscuits. Yeah, I believe like at the very least just make some sort of scone.
Starting point is 00:15:48 I'm sure there's some some Danish pastry that he can say as a Danish biscuit and just then they'll pound like, wow, international. Thank you. Wait a minute. Is this a penny? It just serves a penny wrapped in seaweed. I'm in a weird place today. So, Evelyn, okay, here's my favorite. Evelyn, and now I'm loving Jay because of how she boughs at herself. So they get me worried about Evelyn today too. Because she says, my mom makes these all the time, and they're amazing.
Starting point is 00:16:23 I'm trying to remember what she does. And I was like, oh no, they're gonna kick off Evelyn because she's already pre-blaming her mother for her biscuit loss. Yeah. Yeah. And then Jay, she's like, I don't know how to make biscuits. So she goes, listen, I do know how to make fried chicken.
Starting point is 00:16:39 So my strategy is that I'm just gonna make fried chicken. So fuck biscuits! Ha ha ha ha ha! And Buddha has never made a biscuit before. I can already, I can just imagine the lady from last week just watching this episode from home, me like, if you fucking puts that biscuit pattern deep fries hit, I'll be so angry. Well, luckily for him, somebody else did that.
Starting point is 00:17:06 Her name is Ashley. Okay. She fried a biscuit, but she didn't set out to do fried biscuits in her defense. She just didn't have a very cooked biscuits or she just threw it in the fire, which I wish I had a deep fire running at this house constantly all day long. She could just throw anything in there. Microwaves take too long. I agree. And they're not as fun.
Starting point is 00:17:27 And then Nick, Nick has a Mississippi cookie cutter. That's a cookie cutter in the shape of Mississippi, which I was like, I think it's really cool to have that pride of home and pride of your state. But I feel like Mississippi as a shape, this is no offense to our Mississippi listeners, but I feel like Mississippi as a shape. This is no offense to our Mississippi listeners, but I feel like Mississippi as a shape is not like a fascinating shape for like a pastry. I'm just gonna say it.
Starting point is 00:17:52 I'm just gonna say it. It's not a fascinating shape. Sort of a rectangle, but like a rectangle with like a little pet little thing, like a little poop. And then it's like a drunk person was cutting a cake, you know, it looks a little bit like a cleaver, but not a no, it looks a little bit like a lot of things, but not enough of one thing.
Starting point is 00:18:15 And so I think it's like perfectly fine as a shape, as a state, but I think if I'm gonna make a biscuit out of it, I don't think I want to do a bit, I don't think there's many states I want to make a biscuit shape to be fair. Agreed, but I definitely thought the same thing. I was like, wow, Mississippi cookie cutter. That should be interesting.
Starting point is 00:18:32 And then I saw it and I was like, they made a cookie cutter out of that. Why? Well, it's also, you know, like when you go to this, like around this time, around this time, I want to go to supermarket. I sort of always pick up, you know, like a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Easter Egg, but around the holidays, it's not an egg, it's a little tree, and you get it out,
Starting point is 00:18:53 it looks like a blot, just a strange amorphous blob. It's like whatever Christmas tree cookie cutter they use for this Reese's Peanut Butter Cup thing, things, it just doesn't translate when it comes out. I can't wait to prove that right or wrong because that sounds delicious. So let's see Evelyn can't find the black pepper and then they show Ashley and she's got a whole thing of black pepper. His top chef. Do they only have one container of black pepper? What's going on?
Starting point is 00:19:21 And Ashley was like half of it. Like she just poured that black pepper right in. I was like, what are you doing? I love fights. I love pepper. I was coming from an odd place today. And she has hauled it a black pepper biscuit. Like literally, it's a black, that's like your fucking flower is a black pepper.
Starting point is 00:19:39 It was black pepper with a biscuit garnish, okay. And that's what that was. And then there's like this random moment where they just show Monique running in slow motion. She's just like running across the kitchen to get something. They decide to just put her in slow motion for some reason. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:56 Oh, it's the same. Another time you're like, oh my God, this is when she leaves. It's just to show us the slow motion, Monique, not really missing her children. Don't, don't. So, let's see. Um, oh wait, what am I saying?
Starting point is 00:20:13 Oh, how am I going to come since her time? And she's like, all right, you have as long as Gale takes to eat a cake. Thirty seconds. And the next cake, that is. 30 seconds. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha She's breadin'. A block of cheddar. A block of cheddar. Did you put a gal on here? I'm sorry, I meant a block of cheddar. That's ridiculous. Wow, if Gelsa a block of cheddar,
Starting point is 00:20:53 she'd just start to sing, this used to be my playground. I mean, it's where she grew up after all. It's actually the construction material. She prefers most and making houses blocks of cheddar. She's like Swiss, but then she would always complain about leaks. I said girl try cheddar stupid God you don't know how long I had to convince her that they're only called new kids on the block. There's no of cheddar
Starting point is 00:21:21 So then Sorry, that was the thing. If Gills family was in Handmaid's Tale, the father would be named of Cheddar. No, the Handmaid would be named of Cheddar. Sorry. Well, I did have to fool Gell into watching Handmaid's Tale. I just had to tell her the star was Cheddar. I told her the entire cast of Handmaid's Tale was several blocks of Tillamilute cheddar from the Tillamilute family of dairy products. I tell her it's American Handmaid's Tale, Fibles It, You Love It. God when she watched Raiders the Lost Ark, she was horrified when that man melted at the end
Starting point is 00:22:06 I just had to tell her no it wasn't a man. It was someone made of cheddar. She's so much better afterwards Poor thing kept asking me why is a why is a ball of mozzarella trying to kill that man and the cowboy hat And she said I mean I would risk my life to but Mentor could steal a very precious little mozzarella stick. So let's see, ostrich sausage. Okay, so then Sarah, I'm so insecure. Oh my god, I just don't have confidence. I feel like people who are insecure aren't that confident talking about how insecure they are. That's like her thing. She just talks about how not confident she is. No, you're not. You're on a TV show and you talk about how unconfident you are. Okay, I don't believe you either. I think you're a liar too. Just like I think this 30-minute challenge is like everyone would stop lying to me.
Starting point is 00:22:56 Well, this was technically a 45-minute challenge, but still. So Sarah makes a biscuit with mushroom maple gravy and a poached egg and then Robert comes up and makes a sweet corn biscuit with Japanese brown sugar strawberries and cream. And then that one goes, do you make a lot of biscuits Robert, which is, are you a total idiot? Why did you even apply it to be on this show Robert? Do you hide a lot of biscuits under the grill so your partners, if this were a partner challenge, couldn't find your biscuit, Robert? So then Ashley is next with her fried black pepper with molasses and chow chow. And Padma doesn't even try to be fun about it.
Starting point is 00:23:39 She's just like, why did you decide to fry it? It's like, Gail, when I see your hairbrush, I say, why did you try to fry this? And Ashley goes, well, I just wanted some sort of textual element and Pat and was like, mm, very juggie. So then Joe made a chorizo biscuit, well, biscuit with chorizo gravy and Nick made a
Starting point is 00:24:06 Mississippi before before before that Joe comes to the judges with the biscuit she goes I made a biscuit and Pamela goes ha ha that was a joke I got a Joe she learned that from Jonathan Waxman he's hilarious are you friends with him? You were just great for him. So then Nick does a Mississippi buttermilk biscuit with an orange and great fruit frog jelly. Something. And this was the point where I'm just writing down random words. Because it was great fruit frog job. Yeah. Yeah. Because it was, um, it was, uh, you know, uh, acronym.
Starting point is 00:24:44 And so Nick, um, just so you know, if Gail's dresses could talk, is this shape intentional? Why did you shape your biscuits like a strange baseball cap that someone sat on? It was like, oh, that's the map of Mississippi. Oh, I guess I was holding it upside down and then maybe rotated wrong and flipped. Still don't see it. Sorry. Are we still talking about Gale? Because when Gale finds an open bottle of olive oil, that's what we call her.
Starting point is 00:25:12 Mrs. Cippy. So then drop biscuit with, I don't know, a shirt egg. I don't know what a shirt egg is. I don't know. I don't know. What a shirt egg. Shared egg. I don't know what a sherd egg is. S-h-i-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r Shell. It's are known as baked eggs eggs that have been baked in a flat bottom dish. Oh Flat bottom dish, flat bottom dish, what bottom dish? Queen Shatter love his work So then Chris is go get the judge. He's like, wow, I'm starting to get a buzz from all these biscuits.
Starting point is 00:26:09 The Padma again goes, ha ha. Oh, Demard is the most extensive humor. Demard that smoked bacon and honey jam or something for his biscuit, and Monique did Alardo and Onion Jam, and Jay did fried chicken and hot honey sauce. And Chris pulls a pad, and he's like, did you spend a lot of time working on the dough? And she goes, mm, just a shape it, which I like, that's not good. Chris, nice try with that backhanded question, but you didn't do it right,
Starting point is 00:26:48 because normally they wouldn't answer with such confidence. Chris. So then Luke makes, he brings up a buttermilk biscuit and sweet corn com qua, and then I'm like upset because last week, I think it was last week, or maybe the week before, I made this big to do. Like all that Chris ever does, all that Luke ever does is see we they make see we'd this see me that and then last week He didn't make see we'd and now for this quick fire. I didn't make see me. It's unlike well of course now we stopping now that I've declared it
Starting point is 00:27:15 Who don't worry it will be back? Happens don't die you know, yeah habits do not die that easily human beings are habitual creatures Yeah, habits do not die that easily. Human beings are habitual creatures. Once you go seaweed that many times, you just never, you can never give it up. The habit. You can't. So Buddha did some hot honey type biscuits
Starting point is 00:27:33 and Padma's just like, Gail, we know when she thinks no one's I steal the cookies out of the break room, very crumbly. I mean, really? We know, Gail. You're wearing the evidence, Gail. So now it's time to read the results and Chris is like, yeah, this was very impressive that there was only like two good biscuits out of room of like 13 people. Very impressive
Starting point is 00:28:00 that you guys could fail that hard. So in the bottom was Buddha to crumbly and then Pat must like, and if I've said this to Gail a thousand times I've said it a million times. I don't even know if that's expression. It was further stressed by all the things you put on it. Jay, you overworked it a little, but also, you know, it's buried by chicken, and she's like, meh, meh, meh, and Ashley too much pepper, obviously. And Teaphrang, it just made a crumble. But the good news is, Demar!
Starting point is 00:28:37 It was beautiful, Demar. It was beautiful. And Evelyn also, and everyone's like me, yeah girl, you or as the gay say, Yas queen. Oh, she goes, yeah girl, you. And then it goes, it's like, is that a disc?
Starting point is 00:29:01 The Southern Jacks is big dumb. Big dumb Jacks is big dumb. Big dumb jacks is big dumb ostrich wins. And he got, who said was that fried cheese? Chris, Chris goes, was that fried cheese and Pamela goes, yeah, dammit. Yeah, dammit. Chris, where have you been?
Starting point is 00:29:24 He keeps kind of repeating Pamela, because first Patma said, so crumbly. And then they get to judging and he's like, so crumbly. I just said that Chris. Was this cheese? I already asked that Chris, they off your phone. Congratulations. You just won yourself a big advantage in the next challenge. I'll tell you what it is.
Starting point is 00:29:44 A plate made out of cheddar cheese that Gare will nibble on and you'll get her a vote. I don't know about you, but I'm ready for a salad challenge. Which turns out to actually be just a Padma joke, because I thought it was going to be a weird segue. She said. They just had a lot of bread. It's time for commercial. It's time for-
Starting point is 00:30:10 Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the hosts of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us?
Starting point is 00:30:32 We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows., it snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums?
Starting point is 00:31:03 Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. Alright, Crappin's commercial! Now please welcome, Michelin's entire owner and star chef of somewhere someplace. Why lead you fraying? Why are they getting here? Look at you. You've lost a gal. Look at Wiley, DeFran. He cut off his haircut that made him look like my neighbor. Martha, congratulations, Wiley. I'm feeling so white out Wiley, DeFran. I mean, WD 50 was his restaurant and it championed molecular gastronomy. It's like, wow, 40 champion squeaky doors, sign lancing, you know, I don't know which one wins.
Starting point is 00:31:52 I don't know which one wins. It's funny because, you know, while your friend has come on many times and they always talk about, Oh, WD 50 WD 50, but it's like, it's only, it's just kind of funny that you would just name your restaurant 10 digits away from WD40. Like, you can either go, guess something that clear the dust out of your keyboard or go get molecular gastronomy. Like, that's the difference 10 numbers make. Well, you should know, this is a teen challenge. It's, it's, it's like, wow, it's like that's firework show today. So Jackson, big, big dumb Jackson one.
Starting point is 00:32:31 So he gets to pick first and he takes Buddha first, because duh, Buddha loves this shit, right? Yeah. And then they're all standing there and then a whole bunch of like waiters come with bunch of closures. And so they're all, they all get lined up in front of everyone and Pamela goes chefs, please, please lift your closures. Gail, I said closures, not cool lots. Put that thing down. He's like, this is all about taste and presentation. And there are some of them are annoyed because molecular gastronomy. I mean, it's just like in artwork
Starting point is 00:33:07 It's like an art form that not everybody understands. It's like laid, you know, I don't get it I don't get it. I don't care. It's like look. It's a carrot But it looks like it's a carrot, but it's really a steak Well, yeah, I don't want to, it affects with my brain. Right, and it's just tricky, it's more about science. So everyone gets these dishes and they all look like the same dish, but then as people taste them, you know, Pat is like, Demar, what are you taste?
Starting point is 00:33:42 And he's like, cured folax and some sort of pepper sauce. Okay. And Monique, I've talked to Faye Bess. What do you taste? Mid-pack, does that what middle of the pack tastes like? She's like cocoa. Let me guess what you can taste. Pickles, mayonnaise, possibly some lettuce.
Starting point is 00:34:01 That's what the middle of sandwiches feel. Hahaha. So then, we then, while he starts saying what he made and while he starts talking about what he made, they show this footage of him up in like in the kitchen, like mad scientist and slow mo and strangely lit being like, oh he's like adding microgreens and little dots of things and he's like, this dish I'm calling P not butter, because it's peanut butter, but it's in the shape of a knot. So it's P, K, N, O, T, not butter. But because the way they spelled it,
Starting point is 00:34:36 it looks like it should involve peas. But it doesn't. You're right. A pea, not a nut. It's just peanut butter, peanut butter in the shape of a knot, which he's like all very proud of as if he hasn't seen, you know, peanut butter that's come out of the freezer before, but that's fine. And he's he just first of all, the dish looks disgusting. It looks like an intestinal tract. Okay. It's like brown. Looks like liver and it looks like not. It It looks so weird. It's not a loose spot. It just looks so gross.
Starting point is 00:35:06 It's like when you see one of those YouTube videos on Healthy Poop and they show you the different kinds, you know. I have not seen one tried in a knot, but at first glance it is weird. Also, he does a peanut butter ganache with coffee soil. Peanut butter and coffee are kind of disgusting together, right? Can we all agree? That's gross. I actually am going to say no because just last week I was having one of those racist
Starting point is 00:35:31 pieces peanut butter cup eggs and I was drinking my cold brew and I was like, this paired very well. Did it? So actually it worked well. It wasn't crazy. Hmm. There are not a lot of things that don't like. Yeah, bitterness and peanut butter are not terrible to you.
Starting point is 00:35:46 I'll just say that right now, you should try it. Okay, no, I've tried it and I hate it. Oh, you have tried it and you didn't like it. Well, I haven't had it like in the peanut butter egg, but I've had peanut butter. I've eaten peanut butter sandwiches when I have coffee and I've been like, oh, oh, oh, which, try it everywhere. Try having a Reese's peanut butter cup egg
Starting point is 00:36:07 or just peanut butter cup in general. Maybe the chocolate with cold brew. Probably the chocolate. And also that peanut butter and those things, that's like sweetened peanut butter. It's not like true peanut butter. Oh, that's true, yeah. So then let's see.
Starting point is 00:36:21 I'm really glad that came back. I'm really glad that peanut butter has story came back to inform another part of the episode. Hey, listen, it changed my way of thinking. Much like Wiley. Am I right, guys? Let's gather around and find out what the elimination challenge is going to be.
Starting point is 00:36:36 Few elimination challenge. And I know how that sounds when Wiley has just served two things. It looked like the exact same piece of poop. But you're going to work in team of number two to create this is the look exactly alike, but tastes completely different. It's almost like we have Gail and Nidley here at the same time. Am I right, everyone? And Nick is just looking at the plates and goes, this is just blowing my mind right now. I mean, two dishes and neither of them look like the state of Mississippi.
Starting point is 00:37:10 This is blowing my mind. So wait, Domar Nick. Nick is a suicide. Yeah, Nick. So Monique and Domar are talking and Jay, oh wait, Monique and Domar are together. And Jay and Tamara are talking and Jay, oh wait, Monique and Tamara are together and Jay and Nick are together. And so just, they're basically coming up with ideas. We don't need to go over who's who.
Starting point is 00:37:32 So then Nick is like, how about we do a crab cake and we make an apple pie because those are both round. I feel like, okay, I mean, like round things. And Jay's like, I do not bake. Okay. How many times I'm sure. And Jay's like, I do not bake. Okay. How many times do I need to say in this episode, I do not bake. You're not even gonna get a, ah! No, I'm not doing that.
Starting point is 00:37:54 Yeah. And then Joe and Evelyn are working together and they decide they're gonna start with a visual first and then flavor afterwards. So that's there where they're gonna start from. And then Buddha and and big dumb Jackson are they're going to do a take on an everything bagel. Like the thing is it's going to be like everything but the bagel which I'm like seeds. Okay, I mean, I don't know what's left after that. I mean, I guess that's like that seasoning from Tritter Joes, right?
Starting point is 00:38:26 But I was like, yeah, I'm like I'm like a little bit like I'm I'm I'm predisposed is liking this because I don't ever approve of just scuttling the bagel I don't need I don't need it. I don't need it. And it's kind of like a fuck you to people who like food. Like everything but the bagel. Like fuck you, okay? Like I'm not doing it, mother, okay? You can have everything, you can have bacon, you can have meat, you can have bacon meat, you can have meat on top of it.
Starting point is 00:38:57 It's like the act can sing, just everything but the bagel. Ooh. Yeah, I don't like it. And then Luke and Ashley are paired up and they want to do something with scallops and oyster mushrooms and things like that. And I'm actually very happy about this because I've actually, I've cooked with mushrooms,
Starting point is 00:39:15 like those big, king trumpet mushrooms before. And I've often thought to myself, because you know, I've cut them into circles. And I've often thought to myself, you know, I bet if there were were a top chef challenge, that they did this once before we had to cook something that looks like something else, I was like, this would really look like scallops.
Starting point is 00:39:31 So the fact that they went on that path, I felt very vindicated in my casual musings in my kitchen. I really did. Oh. So he says oyster and strawberries are similar. And I was like, you are so, no, they're're not but then I guess he means like when they're cooked You know like good strawberries has that kind of slimy Thing to it, you know like ice the stuff they put on top of ice cream ice cream topping strawberries
Starting point is 00:39:56 There's like kind of I guess that they've got the CD and as they did I just don't I don't know I don't get this guy. No, I just don't get well I didn't get a lot of things that were happening. So then we go over to Sarah and Robert and she wants to do a shrimp mousse and Robert wants to do a panakata and I'm like, those look different, those look different, they're different colors
Starting point is 00:40:18 and also like don't do, how many, I just feel like people often try to do panakatas and custards on the show and I'm not gonna have sympathy when your shit doesn't set up on a reality show like that those things need like really controlled environments and it's not gonna work. Yeah, well shrimp moves sounds disgusting first of all I mean, I think it's a perfection. I like a shrimp. It's I like a salmon news man. It is Yes, that's what it reminds. It just doesn't sound good to me.
Starting point is 00:40:48 And she's like, we do it at this raw bar I work at. We just put it in the same mold as in Hanna Cotta. And this is where people kind of start losing when they're like, that's just, you know, used the same mold, then they'll look the same. I just, yeah, I don't know. Like both of these go, get out. Yeah, I'm like, you know Panacata is like white
Starting point is 00:41:07 and shrimp, like a shrimp loose is gonna be pink. No, I'm just, I feel like that would, Would shrimp be white? I mean, you've had shrimp loose, but I would think the meat of the shrimp is white. I mean, there's a little pink on the cooked skin, but, but it is, but there's like, I feel like enough pinkness. And either way, we saw her adding shallots
Starting point is 00:41:23 and they're in everything. So I'm like, those are not, that's going to contribute. It's not going to be white. The way Panna Cotta will be white. Unless you add like a little food color into the Panna Cotta. Yeah, which I was, I was waiting for him to say, master ate his strawberries,
Starting point is 00:41:37 because he loves saying that today. It was like his favorite thing to say. So then Sarah is like, we're a good team because Robert is quiet and calm, confident and I'm none of those things. Okay. Yeah, okay, great. So then now they drive off to the store and they they're gonna go, they're gonna basically
Starting point is 00:41:58 just go running around Whole Foods terrorizing everyone like usual. Nothing really exciting happens there. Chip, they're just everywhere all at once. And just cracked me up so it's a different stuff like the Shafz. Buddha's driving me. He's like, oh, I fucking love. Boy, like, do you find? He's my Wonder Woman. And then it cuts to Joe and her car. And she's like, I feel like a fool. I don't like shapes. I don't cook shapes.
Starting point is 00:42:24 Jonathan Waxman does not approve of shapes, okay? He approves of flavors. So guess what? They put another hint in here that Monique was completely fucked today. And the Whole Foods Monique's like, could you please reach up and grab that instant coffee for me? I was like, instant coffee, you know,
Starting point is 00:42:42 that they're gonna show Tom like, hmm, is this instant? Because, show Tom like, hmm, it's his instant, because, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Why don't you grow your own coffee beans? I mean, this is top chef. This is ridiculous. Did you hold your own coffee beans or did you get the instant kind?
Starting point is 00:43:01 So then, actually in Noma, they're doing honey,do carpachio. Yeah. This is crap and it's on demand by the way and if you're not watching, you're missing out on Ronnie fluttering his eyelids with just saying. That's just cut up honey-do. No, but I know that I'm not a fan. I'm not a fan.
Starting point is 00:43:22 Yeah, I know that I'm not a fancy chef and And a lot of this is just because I'm ignorant, so it goes over my head. But to me, that sounds like you're chopping up some honey, do you? OK? Yeah, I'm on the preview. I do get annoyed with pretentious renaming the things.
Starting point is 00:43:38 For instance, coffee soil. Coffee soil, yes. I hate soil. I hate when they say soil. Like that drives me nuts First of all don't bring soil into my into my food I know you're trying to sort of right make it like you're revoking the earth you're revoking the natural world And it's supposed to just sort of feel just smarter more elevated. It's crumbles. Okay, Carvella is dirt
Starting point is 00:44:00 And it's dirt with poop in it. Okay, the poop helps things grow while we're talking about wily due frames. Poop issues from earlier. You know what, it's called when you poop your pants. You know what, what's called? Soiling your pants. Soiling soil. Soiling soil.
Starting point is 00:44:16 Soiling soil. I don't want soil. So then let's see, Buddha is sousvading strawberries. Okay, and Nick, thank God for Nick on this show, you know, And let's see, Buddha is sous-veheding strawberries. Okay. And Nick, thank God for Nick on this show, you know? Because Buddha's like, I've got to sous-vehede the strawberries. I'm gonna cut some Nick just frying some apples in a pan.
Starting point is 00:44:35 I was like, thank you, Nick. I take back everything I said about the odd shape of your state. Yes. And guess what? News flash everyone. Robert's Panacotta hasn't set up. So he's going to do some experimentation with gelatin and see how that works. Okay. Well, congratulations.
Starting point is 00:44:52 Yeah. Well, the first day he's like, this is great. This is setting up just great. And then the next day, it was like, didn't work. Yeah. Did not. Guys, do you want another hint that Monique's going home today? She's doing coffee ice cream sandwiches. Ice cream sandwiches with instant coffee. Oh my God, she's fucked. She's so fucked. Well, it's also like literally, she's making something that visualizes her being in the middle of the pack, you know?
Starting point is 00:45:19 Uh, did you breathe this on coffee? Now by the way, if she, like I know that like people use instant coffee, people like Owen and Gunn, use instant coffee in their cake batters, et cetera, cause it just makes the chocolate taste more like chocolate. But I wonder, I don't remember enough for a dish if she was making some sort of soil with instant granules, but if she was making coffee to go into the coffee ice cream,
Starting point is 00:45:43 I just feel like it's, that it is, I would expect Tom to be like, so, um, this coffee, did you brew this coffee yourself? And if she did not brew her own coffee and did instant instead, that is pretty lazy on top chef. That's a really easy step to take. Yeah, agreed. And then Demar is doing a chicken liver mousse.
Starting point is 00:46:06 And he says usually it has like a pink color to it. But if you don't put the pink coloring in it, it's a shade of brown, which Wiley will like. I was like, yeah, he probably will. I mean, if those are the dishes that he gave you to inspire you, I'm sure he's gonna love your weird chicken liver mace. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:29 And then as the day is like coming to a close, Joan Evelyn, their pork belly is, it's just not as tender as they want it to be, which is, which is bad, which is drama. By the way, did I say that Roberts Panacot, we're still only on day one, and I said, is Panacotta and set up my must have been when he said it was setting up well. Right. That's what I was working. It was set up great. And then the next day, it's
Starting point is 00:46:56 like the Panacotta soil. It's basically, I apologize for messing up the finer details of that Panacotta timeline. So then, um So then Buddha later they're all relaxing at home, well Jackson and Buddha are talking, you know, Sean or whatever. And Buddha talks about his dad and how he had a restaurant and Buddha would just Google chefs, you know, when he was a kid and Wiley was one of them you know he's penis you would never never but his penis it's like a brick actually it's actually a
Starting point is 00:47:33 brick I actually became a fan of VR because I thought Noah Wiley was actually Wiley to frame for so many years very confusing, yeah, but this is like a, like he, he grew, Buddha just gives him stuff about how he grew up in his father's restaurant, and he's obsessed about food, but that doesn't even know he was in top chef because his dad died recently. So there was that. And then we cut to Joe and Evelyn in the corner just eating T'lanti, some, T'lanti layers from the T'lanti family of layers. And they're just being so funny, right? They are so funny together.
Starting point is 00:48:08 They were just being a wacky, aren't they? Wacky, the self-proclaimed wacky girls. They're like, I'm so nervous, I'm so nervous. I could go home. I don't wanna send you home, I don't wanna send you home, either. Also tilenty, love your flavors, love your work, please stop serving things and clear containers for situations like this.
Starting point is 00:48:27 When you're sitting with your friend, your friend is very tiny and you're bigger and you're both trying to eat some ice cream. You can see each other's levels so you know where you are on the ice cream race. I mean, talk, how can I enjoy the ice cream if I'm noticing how much more of it than I'm eating them been. That being said, for some reason last year Tulenti sent me a pint of something. I don't know, maybe it's because we talked about it
Starting point is 00:48:52 so much on this and I'm just here to shame monsters. There were sponsors, well, I'm here to shame let's just say, please send us more points. It was so good. It was so good. Like I really want to cry. Yeah, send me some too. I'll just put some paper towels around. You know, when ice cream is too cold, you can put some paper towels around it.
Starting point is 00:49:11 You do. And then I won't have to. You need like a 20 modesty cloth. Like a sleeve. Yeah. While we're talking handmade style. Handmade. Yeah. To lenty flavoured.
Starting point is 00:49:25 So next day slow motion running and blah blah, everyone's cooking, right? So now truth, truth time because it's day two and they're fucked if anything is messed up. Yeah, and this is where Roberts Panacadas proved to be terrible. So they don't set up, of course. And I mean, everyone else is sort of like,
Starting point is 00:49:48 there's like a lot of cooking and cooking. And cooking, Evelyn's making a goat cheese cake with an apple relish. Interesting. And then, yeah, you're into it. Yeah, that sounds amazing. Evelyn is my favorite, so she can do anything. And I'll be like, you got one, you learn.
Starting point is 00:50:05 I love her little scarf from Texas. She's like, I'm from Texas, I'm gonna wear a scarf around my neck. What do you think of that? And Joe is like, my cauliflower puree didn't dry out. Like I needed it too. And it's supposed to mimic cheese cakes, so they're fucked and they know it.
Starting point is 00:50:22 And then, Demar is working on cornbread to make the same as the cake on Monique's dish, which I don't think is I think is those are both cakes cornbread and cable cake goods. Yeah. I will. And then what's funny too is, you know, I suspect on this show the producers tell the chef test and ask the other people how it's going. Cause you know, they're always like, how's it going over there? Hey, John, how's it going over there? How you doing over there? You're in the weeds? How's your thing going? They're always doing that. As a Monique goes, Hey, what are you doing over there? Jay, and Jay is like, no,
Starting point is 00:50:59 I'm busy. Leave me the fuck alone. No, no. Jay is not having it today. Jay became my favorite No, no. Jay's not having it today. J.F.E. came my favorite and went up a So it's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial So then the judge is I have to say you know through Padma we give gal a lot of shit on the show Gal looks amazing. I love her blazer and And her like white hapsuit and like tweed jacket. I mean, this is definitely a gal award. This is one of the best things gal's ever worn. Bless you, Gailie.
Starting point is 00:51:33 Look great. Why'd you fuck it up with that lipstick though? Why do you have to have me on lips? Okay, I'm nitpaking. God, I love you gal. So they walk in and they're eat, the chefs are gonna be eating dinner inside the kitchen. So they walk in and the chefs are going to be eating dinner inside the kitchen.
Starting point is 00:51:46 So they walk right through the kitchen and they sit down and Padma's like, beautiful. Now I can fully appreciate the kitchen, only took me 16 years to do it. I'm like the first time she actually looked around. I was like, oh wait a second, even though I stand here during every episode, during every quick fire,
Starting point is 00:52:07 I'm only now realizing how cool this kitchen is. Cool. Wow, it's so neat to watch everybody work. Look where have you been? So then Jackson and Buddha are up first, and they've got a very pretty circular church crest star thing cookie on top of theirs. theirs looks beautiful I think. Yeah, looks amazing.
Starting point is 00:52:32 So there's a surgeon, Pam is like, wow, it's almost identical. Great work. And Gales, Gales like, yeah, there's lots of little details to discover. Yes, like that dress you wore last week, you just got lost in the paisley. So then, Jack's, they say it's everything but the bagel or whatever, and Jack's goes, Jack says something about the twill on top,
Starting point is 00:52:59 the cookie on top, and Fatemom just goes, yes. So then Buddha, strawberries and cream, and I don't know. Wily didn't really, I don't know. I don't know what I'm saying at this point because I've just seen a jumble of words on my page, Ben, take it away. I can help you. So basically Buddha, yeah, his is a strawberry and cream
Starting point is 00:53:17 and a white chocolate panicada. And he made, he put the panicada and dipped it into some sort of gel, red gel to make it like little, like little tomatoes, little cherry tomatoes, because that's what Jackson has actual cherry tomatoes. And while they just love it, they love that it looks really identical, but they're totally different, even down to the twills, which are totally different. At Padmas like, that might have been the best dessert we've had on top chef. Gail already ate mine, that's how much she loved it. And Riley's like, well, I was concerned with the twill.
Starting point is 00:53:51 Oh, I know. Look at Gail. When she said she was going for twill, I said, please Gail, not today. Gail, you can eat that. It's not just a tiara. Look at her. She has it on her head.
Starting point is 00:54:03 So there. Gail, get your jacket out of my mouth mouth when they said everything but the bagel. They were just naming Giddish, right? They were giving instructions. Well, you know what blows me away is that this idea starts as and everything bagel and then this comes out. You know, it's like amazing. Well, you just can give a little bit of inspiration to someone and they can run so far with it. Wish I had seen that happen with my son, unfortunately. So then Sarah and Robert are up with their panocottas of doom.
Starting point is 00:54:36 And she's like, wow, this looks pretty similar except for the color. Which means they don't look similar at all, by the way. Wow, this is like exactly like, except there are two different colors and shapes and consistencies. Great job. Naaah. So Sarah did a shrimp sausage with brown,
Starting point is 00:54:55 better crumble cream, I don't know. And Robert did a strawberry kind of cotta. They're both just little lumps. And that's what kills me, okay? The bannacotta shell, or what do you call it? M and that's what kills me. Okay, the Bannacotta shell or What do you call it? Mold that they put it in. It's just a little the little half circle dump like guys come on That's that's not gonna carry you through this little circle
Starting point is 00:55:17 Yeah, little little igloo of panacotta and Melissa is there as one of the guest judges and she's like Padma let me know if I'm doing this right. Did this Panacata set up the way you want? Mmm, pretty close, Melissa. I like to go more for something like, did you mean for your Panacata to be so runny and then optionally, you idiot!
Starting point is 00:55:49 And Robert's like, I think I did. I think I set up like I wanted. And Tom's like, it was a good idea. Mwah! Mwah! You know, I call this a Monique. It's very middle of the pack. As far as ideas go. So. And Gels like both domes are off. Sarah's are too firm and Robert's are too loose. Oh, go ahead Goldilock and Bagels. Oh suddenly you care about Dome's gals. Didn't seem to stop you from meeting that Tiffany Lamp the other night. Don't listen to gal.
Starting point is 00:56:21 I've seen her firsthand. Eat a cloche. So whatever. So Nick and Nick and Jay are next. And they've both done different kinds of noodles. One is noodles and one is like made out of dicon or something. Yes, like spiralized icon. Yeah, spiralized.
Starting point is 00:56:41 So I don't know. I'm not too impressed with like the fake noodles either. Like it's top chef. You can't serve as noodles. Yeah. I agree. And I actually felt like there you could you could pretty easily tell that one was was like a not a pasta noodle or one or not pasta.
Starting point is 00:56:57 But you could sell see one was a spiralized vegetable, you know, but um, and on top that they thought the noodles were overcooked, but while he goes, but Jay's crumbs were delicious. I mean, personally, I would have called it soil, but, you know, not everyone can have that foresight. So Evelyn and Joe, oh my god, I everything, but the sneeze. Oh, it's all that black pepper from earlier.
Starting point is 00:57:27 So, Evelyn and Jo are next and they're fucked. Like they just, they seem to know that they're fucked, right? So, Tom's like, well, I mean, looks the same. You know, it's kind of like in high school when you meet twins, but they're not good looking and you think wow what a waste What a waste of the DNA Xerox machine? Wow, you know what these two sort of bricks of food remind me of Neelou and Gale they look alike they sound alike and they're both totally unappealing
Starting point is 00:58:07 Tell me what we're eating. It's like, well, it's Krispy Pork Belly and a Dicon Rallish and Evelyn serves her goat cheese cheesecake with chocolate cardamom sauce, which kind of love you. So, Hatham is like, wow, Evelyn's dessert is sweet. And Gail says, and as much as I think visually they did a really good job I don't love Joe's pork belly well that certainly didn't stop you from meeting six pieces of a gale bless her heart yeah you know I'm called that leather belly wow it's like you went to high school with Gail and then this is where Padma's like, it's so cool to be in here while they're working. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:58:50 And also goes, well, it's terrifying for them. I remember that. That's the point Melissa. God, it's so fun to see them so scared. So next up, Noma, guess what he did. Say weed, big, not only seaweed, it's like green. The whole sauce is just that almost neon dark green. Yeah, it's like a crazy, crazy dark green.
Starting point is 00:59:17 So basically Ashley made a scalp with compressed honeydew. And then he did the King oyster mushroom with the mushroom seaweed oil broth. He does a lot of mushroom work too, we should mention. We talk a lot about the seaweed, but like seaweed's in mushrooms. He's like clearly someone who talks about umami a lot. You know, like, well, you know, do you momy of it all? I just really like cooking with umami.
Starting point is 00:59:41 My favorite kind of jokes. Umami jokes. Haha. When you mommy sits around the house, she really sits around the house. For you, Ali. Oh, I just got a pilot pickup with Lena Wath attached. Not the first pilot she's picked up. I write guys. Well, Gail coming out of the gate swinging. Nice try, Gail. Well, look forward to your pilot with Sandy Duncan.
Starting point is 01:00:15 So then we go to Monique and Demar, John, John, little sandwiches. Okay. The middle. Don't don't don't on little sandwiches, okay? The middle. So, Demar did his chicken liver moose with some two little piece of cornbread made to look like sandwich red and tomato chili jam. Yeah, and Monique did the coffee ice from sandwich. And they both really like it a lot even though Dimaras cornbread is dense and while he is like you know Monique is you know hers is very you know it's not risky like gas fashions and you know it's nothing too special like gas personality but you know it was delicious.
Starting point is 01:00:59 Hmm don't have a third one for that unfortunately. And Gale's like, this is the best food we've had so far. So then judges table. And Gale, I think is trying to look really bad at today with her neon lipstick. Did you notice Gale's face? She's like, yes, I did. I actually know the thing. Trying to give Jeff Gale face. Yeah. And Wiley is like, you know, I've been lucky to be here many years in a row. And this is the best food I've eaten. Well, that's because you didn't have your hair
Starting point is 01:01:33 and your waist, stupid face. Oh my gosh. What, what's wrong? Well, I sneezed and I'm looking at my nose now to see if I got any boogers. You're supposed to do and craft the bookers. You're you're don't be bugger Pat. You literally don't have boogers on your nose.
Starting point is 01:01:50 I can. I was not snorting a line of coke or anything, but I just remember nice knees and I was like, Oh, better cover up if I have a bugger. That's going to be there forever. No, you look, you look fine. So then, so anyway, Ashley, Ashley Luke and then Jackson and Booter are the top two teams and Padma's like, congratulations on a job beautifully well done.
Starting point is 01:02:15 Emphasis on beautifully. Ashley Luke and Jackson, Booter stay. Everyone else go wonder why you're not obsessed with seaweed. Is there something wrong with Noma? Or is there something wrong with you? Hmm. So she's like, Ashley, you look so relieved.
Starting point is 01:02:35 And Melissa says that dish was provoking and striking. I mean, the dishes you provided, they stretched us. They made us think, I mean, gal, I mean, listen, I'll tell you what stretched us. The clothes in your stomach for crying out loud. Stretched us, what are your pants talking now? Gal, your jeans are not allowed to judge. I'm sure your jorts have a different feeling about being stretched. Am I right everyone?
Starting point is 01:03:11 Jackson and Puda. They look similar, but also they just have so much whimsy, sublime, delicious, fun. Are we done here? I really could use a break. I love the whimsy. It was like the time the girl put an A-cllear in her hair and said it was a clip on. So whimsical. That's what we told her at least. There can only be one winner.
Starting point is 01:03:35 Jackson and Buddha, who are actually two people, but you get what I mean. There are a lot of layers here like tolenty. So then Tom was like, yeah, keep this up. I mean, see this feeling right now, keep this, okay, keep this feeling right now. Don't wanna, don't wanna show us, show promise and then just kind of peter away into some sad career that's never gonna take you anywhere.
Starting point is 01:04:04 Oh, so then Adma, now Sarah, Robert, Evelyn, and Joe. Your two teams will act bugger soil, disgusting and disgusting. One of your teams will be going home. I really don't care who it is. Which one's which by the way? Can they start wearing name tags? You know, when everyone's not famous famous they all could be doppelgangers for being honest So she's like I love all so she goes you two teams had our least favorite dishes in a very spectacular night of eating
Starting point is 01:04:42 Everyone else excelled except for you for idiots. Oh, you're full with the clown car in the circus, and knowing and kind of scary. So, uh, Robert and Sarah, were you happy with your dishes? And, uh, do you have a panicata recipe? Uh, does that include, uh, uh, strawberry? So, there's some strawberry in the panicada. So, do you call this panicada or do you call this panicada? Oh wow. Yeah, so did you have a panicada recipe in your head? Just keeping your head.
Starting point is 01:05:20 Of course it's in his head, Tom. He can't afford paper. So he said he Robert says that he did that to make the color more similar to Sarah's moose, her shrimp moose. And while he's like, oh, the water of the fruit compromised it. Yes, Wiley, we know. All right, and how right beaker, okay? Go back to your corner. I thought the flavor was beautiful. Sorry. No, you, I thought the flavor was beautiful.
Starting point is 01:05:53 It's just a little, hmm, how do you say it? Galee, I'm sorry, I meant to say, Curdy. Well, that's what Gale learned in her version of Catillion, wherever that was. Hey, Gail, give us a nice curty. Well, she called it the Curtillion. So Sarah's like, wow, you know, I am allergic to shellfish. Then why would you make it?
Starting point is 01:06:25 Like, whoa, is this final boss podma? We're back home from. I mean, it's like accepting an Oscar when you're not even famous. What are you even doing there for crying out loud? All right, Merrill Creep. Just back up. So Tom's like, so was the idea to start with the panicata and she's like well our idea started with shapes that's where we were starting. He's like well you know I just wanted to know where it started because the problem really wasn't the shapes it was cooking the problem was cooking so nice try and see how I kind of you turn to you into looking even dumber
Starting point is 01:07:05 Huh, it's a gift. It's a gift So then Joan Abelan Padma's like were you happy with your dishes? Person and person sorry, I don't have cards in front of me. And of course the cauliflower puree was supposed to say, I don't know why they thought a cauliflower puree was ever going to set up in the shape of like cheesecake. I think of puree is just gonna be a glob,
Starting point is 01:07:44 and a delicious glob, but it's not going to be a cheesecake shape, right? So of course, it didn't set up. I think you would need egg, right? Because I have, I go to this restaurant that makes guiltless cauliflower cheese bread or whatever, which by the way, it's not guiltless. It's like oozing with oil and cheese, but what they do, I think they use egg and make it kind of like a bread. So they make like a cheese stick with it. So I guess that's what they were going for. I don't know what there wasn't enough of. But here's what I say, go fuck yourself, cauliflower. I will have bread. Okay. Thanks. Um, well, uh, Padma, Padma loved the dessert, but the pork belly was dry. And so they're like, all right.
Starting point is 01:08:26 Okay, let's go to, we're gonna leave you down a path. That's gonna end in humiliation, but we're gonna start it right here. So what's going on with your pork belly? Well, what you guys, how'd you guys do it? Were there any shapes involved? And they're like, Well, did you start this yesterday?
Starting point is 01:08:39 And she's like, we did cookie yesterday, but we ran out of time, so we press it. Ah, did you press it in cool water? Well, we pressed it and I don't know. We press it. No, and just regular. Oh, was the water pressing down? Were you pressing the water? Who was pressing the water? Who was it? Was it pressing? Was it cold? Was it hot outside? Do you like roses? Was there an iron involved? So then...
Starting point is 01:09:08 So then it turns out, I don't know what they mean by the pressing. I guess for the flattening it, I don't really know what they meant by that, but whatever they did, they went out. Yeah, they didn't do it in the liquid. And so Tom's like, well, you got to cool it down in the liquid. You got to do it there. And then Evelyn just starts to cry.
Starting point is 01:09:29 And she's like, I don't feel bad about anything I've put out, but I'm going to push myself as one member of Team Wacky. And as you can see, we're being very wacky right now. They're very wacky. We're from the Telenenty family of wacky. So she's crying, which, you know, I feel bad. So then, so now, judges alone time. Padma's like, wow, we had two modes that didn't turn out.
Starting point is 01:09:55 It's like two gale cheeses sitting in the fridge. I know. One was bouncy and stiff and one was loose and lumpy. I just set myself up for Papa, didn't I? Okay. Just say it, Padma. I'm sorry. That was too easy even for me. Bounce bounce bounce bounce. And while he's like, Sarah making her thing when she's allergic to shellfish, I mean, while all she was doing was like, having memories of Gail thinking round, am I right?
Starting point is 01:10:30 I mean, she was just thinking of something she could do that was round. It's kind of like when Gail crams a whole bunch of baby roots into a bowl and puts into freezer, am I right guys? So Joe and Evelyn's problem, where they were just troubleshooting up to the last minute, like making mistakes and then trying to make up for them. And Melissa's like, but she tried to save the pork belly.
Starting point is 01:10:52 What did I thought was funny? She's like a last ditch effort. Like she tried to save the pork belly. And Tom says Evelyn's dessert had too much sugar and gals like, yeah, but I would eat Roberts before I eat Evelyn's. So too much sugar and gals like yeah, but I would eat Roberts before I eat Evelyn's. So I'm gonna say that. Did that sound bitchy enough?
Starting point is 01:11:09 Because that's what I'm going for today. Not only that, she goes, she goes, I would actually eat Roberts's dessert many times over before Evelyn's. Well, Gale, news flash there, am I right? I think we have our answer, yes. And don't say no because I've already said yes. Don't argue with me. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don, don't, don't, don, don't, don, don't, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, boring. One twin has a bob, uh, one twin has thinning hair. The point is, the one thing you had in common, all of you, was bad cooking.
Starting point is 01:11:51 So, thank you, bad cooking twins. Bobmo? Yeah, Bobmo. Robert and Sarah, please get out of our fucking faces for crying out loud, panicada, stupid, I'm gonna throw this panicada right at you. Run! I'm gonna throw this panicata right at you. Run. Who please pack your knives? Oh, and Sarah for you. Possibly a copy of Love Myself, because I don't want to hear it anymore. Get out. Get out.
Starting point is 01:12:15 And Sarah's like, well, I've still got last chance, Kitchen, and I'm gonna keep on cooking until they make me go home. Go home. I said go. Oh, I guess I'm going home okay bye. That's just like throwing forks at her head. Go already! Why are you still talking to that woman? It's called last chance kitchen, not last moose kitchen, get out of here! I'm not bringing this to the end of tops. I'm right about it. Thank you so much for being here.
Starting point is 01:12:47 We will be back tomorrow with some summer house. Gonna be a very big episode of Summer House. So we'll see you there for that. Go get tickets for Crappens Live coming to Denver in San Francisco this week. And other places coming up, go get does a watch at Crappens.com. Thanks for watching us on demand.
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