Watch What Crappens - TopChef: Did You MEAN To Have a Season Premiere?

Episode Date: March 21, 2020

Top Chef All Stars LA is upon us, and we are so happy to see so many familiar faces, especially our dear friend Gail Simmons. Join us as we dive into this episode as we discuss Brian Malarkey, creamy embers, and Gail's sleeves! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Ben Mandelker of the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island. Hello and welcome to Watch or Crap Ins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker of the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island to the cartoon available on YouTube, check it out now. And also the Board Gaming podcast. Game Brain. I'm now a co-host on that show, which is really awesome for all. Your board game is out there and joining me is the hilarious and talented and just lovely Ronnie Karam from Rosepricks, the Bachelor of Rose podcast. What's going on Ronnie?

Well, hello my little bean machine. We are here on Friday. We made it to Friday. Isn't that amazing? Yeah, we normally have been like getting off a little early on Fridays, but guess what not six top shifts back, okay? Yeah, we decided that we were going to have a special episode today in honor of Top Chef Returning. And going forward, we're gonna figure out how we're gonna work it into the schedule, and maybe we'll do it on Monday as we don't know. We're gonna mix it up.

But for the big returning episode, we knew we had dedicate some time to it. So here we are on Top Chef Day. Real quickly, in case you didn't hear the, you're the announcement, all our April shows are post-poned. So that means Orlando and Charleston and Madison and Oklahoma City, those dates, those shows are all post-poned

and we will let you know when we have a new date and your tickets will be honored. Okay, if you can't make the new show, guess what? You can get a refund at the box office or wherever you bought your tickets really. So sorry about that, but the world is crazy and everyone should be staying inside and staying away from each other.

Don't be like those jackasses on spring break. Did you see that video, Ronnie? Oh yeah, I sure did. Keep it in. If you would never do that, okay? Avery's self-isolating with me, Mario and Coco. Kai. So, that's that.

Thank you everyone who joined us last night, by the way, for our live show on Instagram Live. We had a great, great time. We had thousands, literally thousands of people watch. When I looked this morning, we were up to nearly 6,000 people. So cool. We had a super fun time. That episode is up on our feed.

And today, I don't know, is there anything else we have to promote, Ron, anything about anything else we have to say? Yeah, last night was super fun on Instagram live. We just went ahead and did our live show that we were supposed to do last night. We will be adding a live streaming feature to our Patreon that was like last night, but it's gonna be on Patreon, okay?

And so join Patreon, join the video tier of Patreon. You'll get all of our crap and videos and you'll get the live streams, which will be archived as crap and videos that you guys can watch later. And you'll also be able to talk to each other during the shows and stuff. Really, we had so much fun. I mean, it was almost a two-hour recap of freaking George Eve, my God. Also we've got new shirts and merch going up today. You know, I've been trying to think of a spin on a gather shirt because we love, you know,

we love a gather sign on this, on this podcast. And finally, you know, the world just put it right in my lap. It's a gather font. It looks like a gather sign, but it says isolate. So, you know, we know that it's a weird time for everybody. Don't feel like you have to go spend all this money. Do whatever you want. If you want it is there, if you don't want it is there, we're just glad you're here. Okay? Yeah. You know, it's, you know, who would have thought that we would actually have a shirt that actually acts as a PSA too,

you know? For months, for months you were looking for words. You're what you were gonna do, Scram, right? Or something like that? Yes. Then I was gonna do a big gather with like the Ghostbusters. No. Yeah. Sign over it. And then I was gonna do one that says Scram. Uh, yeah, he says Scram. Um, get the fuck out. GTFO. I was trying to think of all these different things, but guess what? Dispers, you were gonna disperse at one point. I like the spurs, I still like the spurs, but disperse it also sounds like chemical warfare in a way. Yeah, it's like a little bit of like. So yeah, the world, you know, the world is burning, but guess what, gave us a good shirt idea, so.

I salate, I love it. Yeah, so anyway, here's one thing I'm not gonna isolate myself from. Top chef, it's back, and I'm not gonna isolate myself from. Top Chef! It's back! Um, and I'm so excited. I was cracking up within seconds because just this show makes me laugh. It makes me laugh more than it ever is intended to make me laugh. It's, you know, because it takes itself very seriously at times, and that's when it's just so amazingly funny. I got I love Top Chef, and I just love the show

in general even if I'm not laughing at it. And they brought back a bunch of chefs because it's an all-star season. I don't remember, you know, look I say at the beginning of every season we start recapping of any show my brain scrubs. Okay, I've only got so much left on the sad 44 year old hard drive up there at this not game. I can only hold so much in. And I pretty much scrub it clean after every season. Also, I'd be severely depressed if I didn't forget have to shit we watch on here constantly. So I recognize a lot of the people but I was like, I don't really recognize you enough to recap you. Like I'm gonna need a chart. I'm gonna need you know little pieces of yarn going from pins on a wall, but they started to come back to me as the show went on. And you know what?

All I really need back in my life is Gail's terrible fashion and she did not disappoint. I mean Gail is over the top in terrible fashion. It's almost like she's is sending me personal little eye gifts. Well, I'm very happy with the cast overall, but I'm like you. There were like a lot of things that I'm a lot of people that I was like, I think I remember you, like, or I remember your face, I don't really remember what you did on the show, or I don't remember why you were eliminated, but there were definitely a lot of people that I was like, oh yeah, this one, like Lisa from season three, and it's so funny how when they show footage of season three, it looks like it was filmed on an etch of sketch in 1955. It's like, wow, this show really, really looks terrible about 10 years ago. But a lot of familiar faces, Brian Malarkey is back, and I think, did we do, I don't even remember, did we do, we did a cast preview for the season, didn't we?

Yeah, we did. Yeah, there's this full Patreon cast preview if you guys want to hear that. I think it's two episodes, right? Because didn't we spend about 30 minutes just railing on Brian Malarkey? We did. We did. We spent a good 45 minutes just on Malarkey. I mean, my God, I mean, he was a perfect last name for the guy.

Fucking Malarkey. Yeah, he really does live up to it. What a good way. So the episode, like, look at me. I'm just a really nice old man with blinding teeth now. Like I'm totally different guys. Anybody need my help? Anybody need my help? And his teeth just blinding every people falling down the grocery store. Is God. Yeah, he's got those those bright teeth.

And like a lot of his plastic surgery has settled in. But what happens is that at certain times if you like turns his head in a certain way and the light hits him just right, it like all reveals itself in a very scary, strange way and just terrifying. It's like a baby hamster. Like when we were growing up, we had baby hamsters

and they have this like see through skin. They look kind of like little see through pencily racers. Yeah, it's like great paper. Yeah, that's kind of like little see through pencily racers. Yeah, it's like great paper. Yeah, that's kind of what he looks like. Like he's translucent in some point. Check, oh, it's like one of those phones from the 80s. It was made out of plastic and you can see you can see all the wires on the inside. You know, that's exactly right.

I think I got that I got one of those once going to a bar mitzvah. He is basically a bar mitzvah toy. He is a low functioning transparent bar mitzvah from cats' ukes in the mall. This is like the cats' ukes version of Malarkey. Yeah. So it opens up with a bunch of the chefs talking to us, uh, because they're all like Griffith Park. So we're seeing flash of them, like Brian Valtasio is like, I'm always the runner up. And no, I want to be the winner, Daddy.

And then, uh, always. Jennifer, it's to be the winner daddy. And then uh, always get a fried to me. Never the bride. Oh, and then so what are my favorite? Jen, I forgot her last name. Is it lions? I don't remember, but she was on, I think originally top chef Philadelphia, or maybe she's from Philadelphia, but the last time she was on, and we see a clip of it later in

the show, she sort of had this massive flame at where she was like, I don't know, you know, however you want to do your shafts, you know what to do. So she shows up here and she's like, I've been part of the Top Chef family for 10 years, and I have definitely evolved. I'm like, yeah, you've got to sell to an accent. Where did that come from? You have not evolved, Jen. Okay. You've evolved in the same way that everybody who gets Botox has evolved. Like, you're just not giving as many dirty looks because you physically made it impossible for yourself to do it, okay? But we still see you Jen. And Jen is like frozen her face, but her, now her, her snarl still works.

So she looks like there's always something stinky in the room. She's like, oh, do you smell that? Like, she's always got that because that's the only part of her face that moves. And I'm so glad they brought back a couple of really good villains. Yeah, I love Jen. I always thought I was wanted her to win. Me too. I don't know why she's so down on herself. I don't remember hating Jen at all. Now, it's possible that I did because I remember with love, you know, I experienced life with a lot of hate, but I remember life with love. Well, her first season, she was, she was like very sort of normal and even killed. And then when she came back, she was just sort of like, I don't know, she was on one. It was very

strange. So then they also brought back Karen, who we met briefly when we did the top chef thing up at the dog park, when we did, when they had top chef California at Ronnie and I, we've mentioned this before, we got to go to the first, the first elimination competition where we tasted all the foods. And I remember specifically, I loved Karen and I loved, she made this Gazpacho that had an apple thing. And I went back for it like three times. And in fact, we were there eating her Gazpacho when I think Tom and Gail came by to shoot a scene and we had to stand awkwardly behind Tom and Gail while they tasted shoot a scene and we had to stand awkwardly behind Tom and Gail while they

tasted Karen's soup. Do you remember that? You stood, you stood. You were like one of the people in front of the good day, the good morning America window. That's like making signs out of dog food back. So anyway, so Karen is back. And so I love, do I love that or she's just this very big sweet, lovely lesbian and she goes, well since I've been here last of One of James Beer award, but you know, the title tap chef, that's what I'm here for, please and thank you. I'm like, I love that humble brag right there. Like she's actually One of James Beer award, she's just coming back to sort of like, well it's not even a humble brag, that's a straight up brag. A humble

brag would be like, you know, I, you know, since since I've been away, I've had a lot of good things happen in my life, but I'm just glad to be here, you know, and to be like humble Brian, they put James Beard, here's my question, what was the James Beard Award for? Because they've got James Beard Awards for everything now. Okay, they've got 30 James Beard Awards that they give out in the day. It's like best fast food, sir. Like what is it, Karen? I need you to be more specific, okay?

Yeah, and it's also like very hyperregional. It's like the James Beard Award for best new restaurant tour in the Southern California region, west of Riverside. Yeah, it's like best parking lot service. Like that's a song. Would you stop with the James? I know. Like the Grammys. So then Padma comes on and she goes, 15 chefs have returned for the fiercest this competition has ever been. Well

beyond that time, that gal wants wrestled a biscuit away from a child. Wow. Padma's back with her voice. Like, welcome back to top chef. So last season, Eric. So we'd start seeing all the chefs and Eric's like, oh, yeah. You know, last season, it was crazy because everybody was so upset saying, oh, you got robbed, you got robbed, so here I am. Listen here. More food food for anyone who wants it.

Yeah, you don't have other gal here today, sir, okay? Yeah, that's right, you don't have fake gal. By the way, oh, we should do our annual traditional beginning of the season disclaimer. We love gale summons. We think gale summons is wonderful. We think she's beautiful. We think everything about her is excellent.

We like her patterns. Gotta go pattern. Sometimes I've an issue. We like to we like to imagine that Padma can't stand Gail and spends all her time just nagging her wherever she can. So anytime you hear us call Gail, say that she's fat or something like that, it's not coming from us,

it's coming from our imaginary Padma, okay? Yeah. So if we want you to like. So blame imaginary Padma, because it's her. So she's like, Yeah, so bunch of laks so blame a imaginary Padma because it's yeah One thing that escaped all of our chefs the title of top chef Something that's ever escaped gale's nap sack nothing ever Sorry squirrel

Okay, so Just bad show of hands which one of you said you'd never do this again? Uh-huh. Uh, yeah, that's sort of the question I asked my son after he had a stint at a bar, and uh, 12 years later he's still a quote-a-quote mixologist. It's great. It's great. Welcome to Los Angeles. What better way to start the season than right here at the historic Griffith Observatory. You might remember it from Lala Land, which is possibly the most terrible thing I've ever seen in my entire life. One of the best food cities in the world. Oh, and welcome back, Gale. And then she touches her arm like, like, when you're at a funeral and you're just like, you see an old person, so you touch their arm because it just seems like something to do That's how she did it. It was like the most

Padma way of welcoming back gales like here we are in the most beautiful wonderful city of all time with the greatest food seen in all of America quite possibly the world oh and here's gale Gales here to everyone. Oh, I didn't realize did you win a did you win a silent auction to be here? Oh, you're on the show still. Oh, good. So we've had a few James Beard nominees here. A few. Huh? Any winners? Any winners? Just it cuts to Lisa Lisa Fernandez just scowling because for people who don't remember Lisa from her season She was just like the biggest villain this show has ever seen and she just like So we had some runners up on this show. Any of you guys were runners up and just see these things

And we've also got people who felt burned And then we've got that angry lady not really sure sure what she's about, but, uh, I'm terrified. Uh, can I use Killers human shield? What do you mean by? Mind. Go over here. Go welcome back. Go.

We, we also see a flashback of Stephanie when she was kicked off because that asshole, Nicholas, who went on to win over Nina, talk about robbery. I think the situation was, it was Nicholas and Shirley and Stephanie. And Nicholas, Nicholas was the reason why they're in the bottom. And Shirley, I think made, if I remember correctly, Shirley made like an amazing dish or something like that.

And Stephanie was totally, like there's no reason for her to go home, but she had to go home. And it was just like one of these big injustices and top chef. Yeah, but you couldn't really tell how upset she was because her face is always like bitter. Like she's really got like a super bitter face. She smiled at one point in this episode. And I was like, who are you? I don't even know who you are anymore. Stop smiling. It's

disgusting. I need my bitter people to stay bitter. Okay. She sort of has like resting sock puppet face, right? You know, like when a sock puppet, before you make it like moving stuff, it's just like sitting like your fingers are all closed together. Yeah. Yeah. Because that sock mat at me. So. So.

So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So.

So. So. So. So. So. So out the other Neenie. But we love this Neenie and she's cute. She's got new little glasses. You know, I love her. I always said that she looks like someone on a lens crafters commercial, not just because she's wearing glasses, but they just pick, no, I didn't say lens crafters.

It was always a CV commercial. It was a CV commercial. Yes. And that's totally her. She's so sweet and I totally trust her with my prescriptions. I'm like, you know what? I don't even care what kind of off brand out out of all shit you're giving it could be it could be purple

Okay, it could stain my nose purple pink and I could bleed out of my ears. I still trust you. I'll take it. Deney Yeah, I trust her. Yeah, and she's like, uh This is really hard because now I don't just have glasses and funky style. I have a polo so Totally different than see hard I don't just have glasses and funky style. I have a polo So Tom's like so Anyone here been named sexy as chef anyone anyone? Anyone and so there's some of them are like raising their hands and Tom raises his hand to Pam. It's like He just wanted to raise his hands though He wanted to ask the question so he could raise his hand.

Okay, I've got another question. Who here just ate a can of marshmallow fluff, all by themselves? Gail, you want to raise your hand? Gail, bless her heart. Was anybody featured in a magazine naked, eating pizza in a bathtub? Hmm, thank you.

I rest my gaze. I rest my gaze. Okay, enough small talk. Gail, get that egg out of your mouth. All right. Who's ready for the first quickfire challenge? It's the Misan Plast Challenge, also known as Gail ripping open a bag of tostitos with her teeth. Okay, the way Gail likes to play it is, how much time is it take to mix the pace and the velvita? Okay, go. Alright, we'll meet on plots. Here we go. The first round is going to be three

order chokes and the fastest five chefs chefs to get that are going to head to the kitchen. But then the next five chefs are going to have to cut some oranges up, Carolina oranges, which is crazy, and then they're going to go. And then the next team is going to have to crack some nuts. And then the next team is going to have to undo some fruit rollups, and then the team after that is going to have to take them off the bottom of the desk, form it into a dinosaur, watch it run. Anybody have any questions? Anybody have any questions?

All right. All right. And just as a reminder We're looking for perfect technique if you can't get it just right then we'll have to throw away your discars And by throw away I mean we're just gonna give it to gab less or hot should take anything So no one wants to be last because if you're on the last team, you have to, you have to shell almonds. It just sounds like bloody hell. I didn't even know that you shell almonds. I'm dumb.

I thought they grew on like stems. Like I literally did not know that they took this much effort. I, you know, I don't know. I, I didn't put that much thought into it. I sort of assumed you had to because you shell peanuts, you know? But either way, I mean, you learn something. Like we're already learning things from this show. So, so basically the point is that like the first five people

to do the R-Chokes become a team and they get to cook. They get to start cooking, they're a quick buyer. And then the next five people to do the oranges become another team and then they get to cook. And then the last team that once they finish up their almonds, they get to cook and then the clock starts and then there's 15 minutes left, it's a whole thing. So Padma's like, once your team is born,

use your prepped ingredients in two dishes. Yeah, and once you get cooking, that clock is gonna move fast. And then Gal goes, in case they forgot, quiet gal, it's not your turn. Come on shoes, here comes one right now. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or

in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin

and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can lace an ad free on the Amazon music or wonder ya.

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Mina Kuchikuji Kuchikuji. And she ain't no shrinking violet kuchar. We love you guys. And the boys keep going, okay, I'm done, I'm done. And then the chefs come over and they're like, oh, you did not choke the Artichoke, okay, so stop saying you're done and do it properly Yeah, and Kevin who I believe is the guy who has like a tattoo of bacon on him somewhere or maybe it's like the spoon and fork I can't keep track, but no, he's the ginger bear right? Ginger yeah, yeah, yeah, so he's like he's like at this point our careers we call this

Pea-chee as in we have people for that shit PFTS all right PFTS people That's it. I think so I got I got people for that shit and then Angel though now was amsolo a monster on his season Because I don't remember amsolo. I kind of remember him being an I don't remember being a monster. I remember him being like kind of annoying. He was sort of like very type A, but he wasn't a monster. He acts like he was a monster. He's like, oh my god, I've changed. I've changed. I promise you. I have a son of sweet son. The sweet son who needs me. God, I've changed my work. Look at me. I'm journaling everybody. I'm journaling over he was I was I thought it was gonna get eliminated based off of that, but maybe they're setting him up for the long long term success who knows so the teams are the, and Brian. They go off. And then, because, and they're all there, but before they go off, Brian, Voltage, keeps on, like you were saying before,

he keeps on saying, check, check, check, and finally Padma goes, there should be a penalty for calling us over too many times. I mean, look at Porra Gale, she's breaking into a sweat, walking all these inches. Am I right, everyone? That's right. So then next up, orange is, so I don't know what they're doing to these

oranges. They're peeling them, they're cutting them, they're crumming them. And Angela's like, oh my God, I've changed so much. I've changed. You know what? I've become a better person since the first round to this round. Like, I'm literally better at the orange round than I was in my artichoke's round. Such a better person. So Tom's like, oh, we can tell who's my used to prepping these days. You can see, we can see you guys are all,

barely would be acceptable to this with your first season on Tom Chef. It's amazing that we brought you back to be awesome. Am I right? Well, this you're better than a mixologist. I thought it was like a nice orange is Padmas just like So then glasses I wrote glasses Gregory. I don't know Grat I don't know who glasses is glasses. Oh Gregory. Yeah, Gregory. Yeah. So he's like I've sholked an almond in 20 years. I better move my ass. So here we go. Just shelling almond.

I mean, I just do the oranges or whatever. But yeah, sorry. Orange is yeah. So then the second team gets to go off to do their thing and Brian Malarkey's on it. Yeah. He's on a team with a bunch of girls and in the car he's talking to them all like their idiot children. I wrote that out too I was afraid you're moving on to the almond section. I was like no, we have to talk about brand Malarkey Top-shape notes, so I don't know what the fuck there's so many notes here, and I don't know who anybody is yet So he's like so what's your name? Mimi I'm Brian My name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is my name is That's a wine key. So she's like, and he's the fucking wine key, motherfucker, wine key. All right, you got a fucking problem with it. Yeah, and the judges are just watching her.

I'm like, oh, look at that. That's with Sores, for a ugly person. Mm. So they, yeah, they're working on these, these almonds and they're struggling. And then in the meantime, the other, the first team they arrive in their test kitchen and they, they, they don't really know how much

time they have all they know that they finished first and that the 15 minute timer doesn't begin until the third team arrives. So they may have 20 more they may have a 20 minute lead they may have a two minute lead they don't know. So given that there's all these question marks in the air what does Joe Sasto decide to do make homemade pasta. It doesn't seem the smartest thing in the world. Well, of course he doesn't learn anything because he's Luigi from Mario brothers And guess who else doesn't learn anything fucking Luigi. I've played every Luigi game in existence and Luigi is still always terrified of everything Grow a pair and he still is always trying to make everybody make pasta and the princess keeps getting kidnapped Okay, just learn you your lesson, Luigi. Yeah, pay attention to what's important, okay?

You know, like, like we are rooting for you. No one really likes Mario. Everyone likes Luigi and we're waiting for you to seize your moment and you're ruining it by like we're saying, Hey, Luigi, this could be your moment. Why don't you fry an artichoke that will be lovely and he's like, No, I'm going to make fresh pasta in a amount of time that I can't be done. Why?

I've never worked out for him in his season. I've never even happened once. I've never even happened once and everyone was like, wow, and now he's like trying to be the guy that does that all the time. Yeah, because look, here's the truth of the batter. Nobody wants to eat a pasta that was made in five minutes. It doesn't sound good. It sounds like he's used some fucking flour and some eggs just through them half-azardly onto my plate. And

now I have to eat your lump of flour and eggs. No, like making an effort, dude. You know, it's kind of like in like in board gaming, sometimes you go for like a very fancy play where you're like, ooh, if I do this, this can cause that to happen and that to happen and that to happen. I mean, get all these things and all that thing. That's like this big exciting moment and you do it And you realize you sacrifice your the rest of your strategy just for this stupid move That was like really cool and fancy and that's exactly what he did But it's like doing the same fancy move all the time so everybody knows what you're doing Yeah, oh

So yeah, so then the almond team they finally Wow. So yeah, so then the almond team they finally Oh crack open all their almonds and so then they had so basically the all three teams have arrived in the kitchen So now the 50 minute countdown is going and chaos has erupted Yes Everybody's going freaking crazy and Guess what the pasta dough isn't resting yet. Yeah, so surprise Guess what the pasta dough isn't resting yet. Yeah, so surprised I'm so surprised and Brian's just looking around and he's like wow these guys have come along look at this kitchen God we were like the

Covered wagon season compared to this shit, all right Yeah, and and by the way, we should also mention I thought he was just making like just okay just doing pasta He's not just doing pasta. He's doing a stuffed pasta. Like what? Yeah. Am I doing this? You know? And meanwhile, Leanne, she wants to do a tempura on the artichokes, but Stephanie's

taking over all the deep fryer stations and so she just goes, shit! She just gets so mad, just curses. So her situation is definitely in danger. And now there's like only five minutes left. It's tough to make the puree that goes into the tortellini and then cook the tortellini and all that stuff. And just five minutes. So this is my business.

So is fishy, you know. The first time my mom watched this show with me in season one, because I used to recap this show at TV Gazem. And she was like, runny, this is not real. The show is not, there's no way that that bitch made Niochi in 10 minutes. There's no way it doesn't happen. Yeah.

And I still think of that every time I watch this, because I'm like, wait a minute. You had raw toward Lini, though. You're telling me that you got a mixture made, piped them all, closed them all, and cooked them all. There's no way. Well, I don't think you cooked them all. I don't think, you know, I mean, I don't think I think they were blanched at best. But, uh, either way, so there, there's all this craziness

and when by the time Leanne finally gets to tempura her, her, her artichokes, the, her batter has swollen because it sat too long to the flower start to reaction everything. So it's going crazy. And then just as I was trying to make this pasta thing happen and at this point the judges have entered the kitchen and are watching and Pam just looks at him and goes, what's he doing? Stupid person. Yeah, she's like, Tori de Lone's.

Oh. And Tom. Wow. Look, look, the witch is over there. Making pasta. It's like he never left or never learned. Not really sure what we're depicting that sentence, but wow, what an idiot.

I know. It's like he never left. Unlike Gal, God, I wish he still were on the show. Oh, you're still here, Gal. Sorry. Sorry. And so now it's time to be judged. Time's up.

So the blue team goes first and they have a tempera artichoke with citrus aioli and Gail's like, Gail looks so suspicious. She's like switching her eyes like, what's in that aioli exactly? Good question, Gal. So yeah, so they're eating a- and Gal eats it, she goes, tart, tart. Oh, God, Tom, is it terrible having Gal back?

Bring us, give us Nilo again, seriously. That's her heart. So then the green team, Pat and I was like, how you doing, green team? Like, she's so, she's so fatriolic this year. It's like the same tone in her voice, but I'm like, God, what's wrong with Padma? I know. So, yeah, so the green team has made this artichoke crudo and carrot and fennel grimmelata and gales and spartanese.

She's like, I'm where the almonds in this dish? Just gale. and Spartan, she's like, I'm where are the almonds in this dish? Just, Gail. Just badminton Gail. Well, Padme did have a very badminton thing. She goes, is this how you wanted the tempura cooked? Did you mean to make the tempura so chunky and awful? It's like an old shoe. So then Gale is like, oh, so red team, you have the most time. How did it feel? And they're like, well, we didn't have any extra time loser.

It's like everybody stopped disrespecting Gale, OK? So they made a char grilled artichoke bottom. It shows like, wow, that was my name in high school. Char grilled art and joke bottom Yeah, with just to make that and then they present the pasta and patma just sneers because and what is this Piece of shit looking pasta you call this a pasta. I'm Padma that actually for crying out loud and he's like And she goes really so soon Wow, I mean I thought I knew predictability i.e. Galin her patterns, but you really you really show her up Jo sasto So like what is this he says a brodo and she goes that's one rich brodo

Agent about 70 years and give it some back hair and I'd marry it. I Don't think I can finish it here gal. It's for you So Tom's like, huh know, not so bad. Green team, the tempore was heavy. Dance. Like Gail. And Joe, that pasta was dry and chewy. Like Gail. Don't be mean, Tom. Sometimes these jokes just write themselves.

Am I right, Gail? Hi, five, Gail. Come on, Gail. Stop pouting. It's okay, Gail high five Gail come on Gail stop pounding it's okay Gail oh bless her heart she's pounding to seven have an Oreo Gail feel sad and Gail's like love the a oily green team loved it and red the yogurt was like a savory whipped cream. I'm just gonna let that stand gonna let that stand. How much you guys want about the gal fantasy about dipping through whipped cream like Scrooge McDuck and his money? Am I right everyone? Just swimming just the backstroke. God bless her heart. Simple dreams. We're gonna go off our favorite dish here and that is the dish from the red team. So great job. Red team. All right. Yeah. Loved, red team. And Luigi's like, it's kind of a bummer to get negative feed the back up, but this is awesome.

To be back up. Woo hoo! Now it's time to dive into our elimination challenge. We're gonna be having a seafood feast. First, we're gonna let Gale attack the fish. And whatever's left over, you can cook with. Go. Well, you know what, the only heat you're gonna have today is fire. There's no electricity, no appliances, no knives, just your talent and fire, which is crazy

because people often use fire to cook. Well since this morning I actually used some fire to cook, which is nuts. Alright, do it everybody. And Brian's like, fire, I don't even like fire. I don't even like electricity. I don't even like electricity I was raised a game boy. I was like you don't get to have teeth like that and talking and both talks like that and talk about how you Don't like electricity. Okay. Yeah, shut up. One of the most Preventious things that's ever been said on this show. He literally goes I have a restaurant called urban wood. It's all wood fire

Oh, I don't even like electricity You know urban wood truly. I think we probably made fun. You know, urban wood, truly, I think we probably made fun of it when we did the re when we did the cast preview, but urban wood, please, someone just shut that restaurant down on the name only urban wood. That is not like a kind of porno video. Oh, yes. I mean, I would see I would see the porno version, but you know what though like I don't even like electricity come on I was raised a k-boy you are a fish master. Okay K-boy like no So it's like red team. We said you'd have an advantage and

It's to be your own team captain and five teams of three and we're gonna serve everything family style So they're gonna have this huge judges table. Everybody's famous at this table and everybody's really scared and then it's time for the challenge. Let's do it. So they start, well they start picking, you know, and so it's like a school yard pick and so the very last person standing is Lisa and so before she gets picked, because Pam is like, okay, Brian, now you choose now you choose Kevin now you choose so finally she's like Okay, Brian let me guess the angry lesbian in the corner get over there Lisa Bless her heart. That's fine pick me last. You know what these people don't know they don't know that I was the runner up in season four

I can cook my ass off like they know exactly who you are, man. That's why you're being picked last. Yeah. Alright, so this is in your price, you can be worth a coat of a million dollars. So please take five minutes to menu plan before grabbing your seafood, not you guys stay away from the muscles. That's a lot of clams, huh? Yeah. A lot of clams.

And Neenie is like, I'll tell you he's not getting a lot of clams. Yeah. And Nini is like, I'll tell you he's not getting a lot of clams. My son, he's a mixologist. No clams there. No benchmarks, no clams, no greenbacks, nothing. Just a few dollars here and there. He's a mixologist, that's right. So the red team, Brian and Luigi.

Brian wants to make a clam pie. Okay. So Luigi wants to make a pizza. And Brian's like, how about a pie, but a clam pie? We'll see, Urchin. So this is Sound Fund. You want an alex. Do you want an alex? Sound Fund.

Want an alex? He's basically just mom talking everybody into doing exactly what he wants. Exactly. He becomes, even though he's not the team captain, he becomes totally bossy and starts basically ordering everyone around. And it's because it's Leon and Brian and Joe Saster, right? So he's just taking over and calling the shots. So already, we know it's going to be a disaster. Yeah. And then the yellow team is Gregory Stephanie and Jamie and Jamie's like, oh, God remember me.

Oh, this is rumpy and back here. I think he's probably he probably has a bacon tattoo everywhere. He's like tattooed up and down. And they all remember him because he's the one who gave up his immunity and then got kicked off. So they're like, you stupid. But he's thinking what I'm going to get? Embers from wood. And then I won't gonna make some stuff with Embers like sounds delicious carcinogens

Yeah And then what's her face Melissa? Most of choose the team that's basically like very zen and chill and they're like she decides that the best thing would be is to have good personalities that mix well as opposed to you know because they're all talented so she does that and then yeah so everyone's just like planning and then it's like time to grab the seafood so it was like okay three two one and then they all are just like monsters just like hurling themselves, this giant display of fish, just grabbing it.

And you just see these salmon flopping in the air and stuff. And like Eric, I think it was Eric. Was it Eric who had like a little tray of, he had like some lobsters or something. And he like didn't get everything that he wanted. And Lisa was like, yeah, yeah, go back, you can get some shrimp. That's okay. She's like, yeah, I'm, now I'm older and I'm, why is there

in kinder? I'm, I'm nicer now. I'm, you know, before I was like a little negative and he's like a flashback of her being like, shut the fuck up. Yeah, because the guys like, you know what? We really, I'll just think you're really negative and you need to work on that. And it comes to our going, yeah, well, I think he needs to shut the fuck up. Which is true, fuck him. And what kind of chef are you supposed to be? Okay, chefs throw pants at your head,

worked with many a chef. And none of the good ones were nice. They were all fucking monsters. Okay, I've run away from lots of knives in Mike's time in the kitchen. Who cares? Who cares Lisa? Be mean.

Everybody's not trying to change to be on top chef We're gonna make funny you anyway. We don't care if you come back nice. Just still gonna get mocked It's called the internet all right get up exactly So then they all get shipped off to their house, which I'm pretty sure is the American Idol House I think that's where the American Idol back when there used to be an American Idol House on the show Do you remember back in the early days of American Idol? We're all like the top 10 would be in the same house together and they would have these little segments

of like, look at us hanging out in the house. I'm pretty sure it's the same house. And I don't quote me on it, but I wanna keep an eye on that because I know a chest it is here in LA. Like I can see it, you can see it very easily from like Sunset Boulevard. So that's what I'm saying.

I think it's the same house. And I'm going to keep tabs on give an update. I'll give an update as we see more exterior shots of it. Well, they're all really excited. And Malarkey's like, oh, great bunk beds. Listen, kids, if you work hard enough, you too can one day stay on a bunk bed. Like, you know what? You better shut up. Okay. Yeah. You're a very lucky, sir. I've seen you scrounging the bottom of the barrel over at the Food Network. Just be grateful, Malarkey. Yeah, he was like making a joke,

but he was really kind of like making a dig at the producers. Like, we are all established chefs, and we deserve more than bunk beds. That's what he was implying. I think it's like Brian Malarkey of Urbanwood, and I know who hates electricity so much, even though he's on a TV show, which cannot be powered by anything other than electricity.

And then Brian Fultagia gives a speech. He's like, this is an incredible group of people. I've watched you guys on all of your seasons. And we share a bond, a crazy bond, it's such a crazy bond. We all hate my brother. Cheers to that. Then Michael Voltage shows up. And I just want to add to that. I just want to make a slightly better speech, which is, I hope everyone has a wonderful time. And we share an even better bond than the one that my brother was saying. And even more cheers to that. Yeah, you just hear a motorcycle roaringkey. Boom boom. Boom boom. And he's like, last time I was here, I don't recognize that person. I've been doing so much work and development on myself.

I'm like, okay, we get it, Angela. Did you run over a homeless person last time and try to hide it? Like, what did you do on your season? Yeah. What does he? What is he trying to like temper our expectations about? What is happening? So yeah, he has a moment where we learn about his son and yada yada yada

So then we have Leanne and Leanne's like well, you know I'm used to cooking over an open flame in Hawaii, which is where I live and unlike primal arki I actually do enjoy electricity. Hey, how are you enjoying that elliptical machine that analog elliptical machine? That's not run by electricity at all Markey anyway But yeah, so but I had a baby and you know it's super hard to leave my baby and come here and I'm gonna talk about it a lot I'm gonna talk about it a lot. Yeah, which I wasn't sure what's her way of joking about other chefs that do that or if she'd just like listen Don't tell me not to talk about it because I'm gonna talk about it. Yeah, I took it as her like joking like making a top chef joke

Like okay, I'm that person this season, he's gonna constantly talk about my child. So then building fires at the beach and Nini has never cooked at an open pitch. He goes, but Kevin has a beard. He looks like he could make a fire. I mean, I think that's a fair point. Fair point. You know, Nini. I have done thinking at various points that Nina was gonna get eliminated because she kept on saying things like,

wow, it's crazy to cook with all these people. I feel like class and I don't know, wow, I can't believe I'm watching all these people. I'm just gonna be a sponge and soak it all up. So I was like, oh, damn, she's probably gonna get kicked off first. But maybe they're setting her up to be the ultimate underdog that goes all the way to the end.

Yeah, I think so. That's the sense I'm getting that Mimi's going to win. Cause she's like, Golly G. She's like even all about Eve, you know, she's like, oh, I just want to help you in any way you can. And be your understudy. Like, baby, this loses everything. Yeah, she's like, I'm just a simple cafeteria cook. I don't even know how I got on this show.

It's like, Neenie, you were on last season. Um, but Kevin announced it. So he's even know how I got on this show. It's like, Neenie, you were on last season. But Kevin announced it. So he's going to be making a swordfish thing. So he's like, I'm just going to treat the swordfish like a piece of meat. I'm like, I don't think it's going to work out so well if you do that. That's not really how swordfish works or fish. Warfish is a very thick fish. So it can be treated like that. But he's like, he's talking about how like strong he is now. He doesn't need anybody else's opinion. And he's just going to do it on his own.

Oh, by the way, Jen, could you give me your opinion on the swordfish? And it's like, eh, depends on how dry it's there. You know, you got, you got a lot of different ways swordfish can ban. So, God, I'm worried for you. Good. All right. Good luck. Don't die. So then Brian, meanwhile, he gives us, he tells us that he has a lot to prove

because he's really competitive with his brother, Michael, who won, as we just mentioned. He's like, so when I was on top chef masters as a contestant because I was a contestant unlike my brother, Michael, I jumped out of a plane. And then Michael saw that, and immediately drove to the exact same airfield and jumped out of a plane to because he had to say that he did it also. So, yeah, that's everything.

Yeah, I know, totally different than you having to show it back to Top Chef yet again to try and win because he did. Also, please don't try and win with fresh corn grits. I mean, I love a grit. Okay, I'm a great man. Eat a lot of grits. Make them. Make a lot of grits. I mean, I love a grit, okay? I'm a great man, eat a lot of grits, make them, make a lot of grits. Too better, like you wanna be your brother who like makes things out of squid ink and like very asmone. You know what I mean? Very asmone.

So yeah. So then meanwhile, over on Melissa's team, Melissa's like, hey, Angelo, how those oysters coming? He goes, oh, shocks. Like, oh, is this the new Angelo? It's dad humor, because I'm different now. And she's like, you know, I pick this tea, I'm a Libra. We get along with everybody, all right?

We're good looking. We're charming. And I'm gonna be balanced because that's what a Libra does. And I'm like, this girl will probably kill somebody in traffic because it's always people like that. We're like, oh, you know what, I just go along, get along, love everybody. And the second somebody cuts them off, they're like,

fucking dog, bitch. I hope you and your kid both die. Well, remember that girl, that chef, Michelle, last season, who was like, okay, what I've made for you today is, um, it's a halibut with a study in order choke around it. Um, and that's really all I've done. Also, my grandmother was a shaman for the drug cartel. Bye. I forgot about that.

So then we go over to Luigi who is making a dough for his flatbreads. I just, I'm like, what is your, listen, I love a carb, but what is your deal, dude? Like, that's, that's your quote of 2020. I love a car about what is your deal, dude? Like, he just needs to have flour in everything. It's a beach picnic. You don't have to be mixing the flour up, sir. Yeah. So he's making his flatbread and smoking and everything. And he wants to do it with smoke clams and sea urchin and garlic

early, all this stuff. And Malarkey thinks that Joe Sasta wants to put too much on his flatbread. I mean, God forbid Malarkey say anything about it. And then and then he's Malarkey reminds us that he was actually kicked off for putting too much on his dish. Oh, we get this flashback of classic Padma staring down Brian Malarkey and saying, Brian, was there anything in the pantry that you didn't put on your plate? And he's like still hurts. Still hurts. Brian, do you ever feel embarrassed thinking about how awful you were on your season? Ever? Everything back at that time.

Brian. how awful you were on your season, everything back at that time. Brian, ever feel, everyone, you know, I often wonder when I'm eating your food, what it feels like to be the not as hot brother who rides cars with four wheels on them. Anything to say for yourself, Brian, you leave me alone. She just sprayed on to Brian to Brian a voltage you to just for the fun of it How's life white swan Hey Brian Malarky is there anything you didn't put on the Anything you didn't you know Brian Malarky. I don't want to talk to him I get my words how terrible your food was, Brian.

So then Gregory is just like still all sweet and glassy. He's like, I just want to show I can come back and prove myself. I've dreamed a dream of time gone by. I want that title. I like dreams. Oh, dreams. Look at me. And then he's like, I'm hoping to do what Kelsey the winner of my season did

She learned from everyone around her that was more talented than her then she stole all of their juice and went to the top I'm gonna be a sponge and then I'm gonna use it against them Kidding I'm not kidding kidding. I don't know anything. What's the fork? What do you call it? So, uh, so the judges show up this like super power Table of judges and they all sit down at this table by the beach and Tom's like, well, you know When the sun's shining on the tops of your feet. It's always a beautiful day And I'll tell you where the sun doesn't shine on the tops of a maxologist feet. That's my son. He's a maxologist. He works indoors and he's very sad.

I mean, his father's a world class chef, but he choose to be a maxologist. It's great. It's great. I'm happy for him. So Brian Malarki is over there trying to boss everybody, but unfortunately they actually need that because yeah This team doesn't seem to know what they're really doing. And I mean, they know what they're doing is cooks, but in this element, they're out of their element. So Leanne is like, all right, I've got, I've got my swordfish. I'm just going to put it on the grate to the fire. He's like, no, no, don't do that. It's, and she did it. It's sticking. And so she's like, oh, God, they're sticking. All right. I'm going

to get some olive oil. He's like, don't get olive oil. It's going to be, and you, you burnt it with the olive oil. She's like, okay, it is what I'm going to do. I'm gonna get some olive oil. He's like, don't get olive oil, it's gonna be any mubertin' with olive oil. He's like, okay, this is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna take a blow torch, and I'm just gonna fire up on these fish until they just char off of the grill. Okay, hold on, one second here, while you're burning these fish, hold on.

No, no, no, no, she did it, she did it. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna take some tide. You know, it's normally a laundry detergent, but actually, if you put it on fish, it supposedly helps loosen it from great. So I'm just going to pour some tide liquid detergent on this fish. Okay. The tide pod challenge, the first time Gail ever went viral. So the green team is finishing up and they present first and they did modern Asian Californian cuisine. Yeah. so Melissa did a grilled sort of fish with hot and sour sauce and Fresno chilies and Karen did a grilled scallop with

WokChom and Angela did a west coast oyster with smoked rice porridge. What the fuck are you talking about sir? Oysters with rice porridge? No, okay, that's being fancy, and then there's just being stupid and gross. So stop. No one wants to eat oyster porridge. So I'm okay with oyster porridge, but I think probably like, maybe the oysters in the porridge,

not like oyster on the half shell on top of a porridge, and it also is probably like soft on soft, I don't know. It's like slimy and like bugery on top of like slimy and Oh, yeah, that's what they said. They all really liked Karen's scallop, but they felt like Angelo's there wasn't a briningness in it But I guess it wasn't cold enough to be like an on-the-half shell It wasn't warm enough to be like a broiled oyster. So they just said it tasted like baby food. Yeah So then their favorite markets Marcus's favorite, Marcus Amules.

He's probably so glad to not be eating on Chopped right now. My God. It's like anything you give me will be amazing. I know, he's like, this wilted piece of ridiculous that was inside the ashes. Tastes amazing to me after two years on the Food Network. Okay, you can only be served so many versions of chicken all okay. Yeah So Luigi's team wait is it his turn to come up? Yeah, yeah

Marguise him. Yeah, Marguise team So they're doing Asian inspired Callie as well, which I guess is just their thing today everybody's gonna do that. Yeah So he so Brian Malarkey, he does that thing when he describes his dish, he does it in that sort of rushed and aggressive way that's so pretentious that chef's due. He goes, okay, what we got here is a sea urchin, spot prawns, a sun-made hyposkis ponzu, and virtually, yeah. Like, oh.

And then he's followed by poor Luigi. He's like, says to me, some Alina flatbread with clams and some other slimy shit on top. All right, every kind of mushy slimy, vomit-ish fish I put on top of this. Enjoy! And Leanne is like, okay, we have some halibut with a nice carcinogen dusting on top, some very charred, sweet corn, sea urchins, and miso burblank, and then just a piece of charcoal right on top of the fish. Just a little bit.

And then let's see Nancy Silverton is like, yeah, I wouldn't have done, yeah. No, I don't like it. I don't like it running sauce for family style, okay? And Gale's like, yeah, the sauces make the flatbed soggy and Padma, Padma's like, if you're going to do a flatbread with all this stuff, it better be crispy, you better get all that crunch. I mean, we're not all like Gale, okay? We don't enjoy soft wet bread all the time. And then Tom's like, well you know the high biscuits was nice but come on Brian.

I mean yeah it's a grill you know what are you gonna grill? Navicado come on it's a grill challenge. Yeah just a Navicado just a grilled avocado. I mean what sort of what sort of challenges is this? Who's the sexiest chef at this table? That be me. It's me just one of mine everyone. and then we go back to cooking cooking cooking. Jamie's pot is boiling over and he's doing a scalded cream with embers smells delicious, okay?

So fat and was like hello, yalla team game. And Gregory does a charred salmon with grilled peaches and chili and Nancy's like, love it. Well balanced way better than messy sauce over there. She's holding her glass of wine up. She's doing that thing where her like, one arm is like crossed over her body and the other one's holding the wine just sort of swilling it and she's just like, love it. This is good food.

This is why I came to beach. I don't wanna see any of that bullshit from Malarque over there ever again, okay? You get me to come down on the beach, you better serve me some fucking good food, all right. Yeah, and then Jamie serves his steam mussels with Embers jar dirt and fire, fire, burning building. Yeah, so Nancy's like, you know,

what I love about this is what I don't like about a potluck dinner Okay, you have a potluck dinner and then somebody I won't say her name, but it rhymes with fail Good one Nancy love that anyway, she brings strawberry and bro's and ruins it, okay? I like everything makes the other enticed like a team She goes I liked everything this is the meal we expected and the meal we deserved. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Well, maybe not gal, but it's nice to have her here,

I suppose, blister heart. Well, so then Jen is still on Kevin's ass about a swordfish. Like, how are you doing with that swordfish, stupid. All right, get him, get him, get him moving. Do it better. So he's like, this time I am so aware of who I am. Okay, this is a home run. Home run. So then, of course, they're like, ah, that sucked. Yeah. Basically, like, Kevin's dish looked amazing, and they were all like, ah, this is the cover of the magazine, they loved it,

they loved the way it looked, but when they ate it, they're like, uh, this is awful, this is terrible. Well, it's every strong thing you can have. Okay, it's eye of swordfish, braised in chorizo, with black and and green olives at barely cooked peas. Barely cooked peas, that annoyed me so much. And we have some barely cooked peas. Like, how about just say,

undercooked peas. Okay, undercooked peas. Undercooked peas, or like, is it like a pea sashimi? I'm surprised you didn't say that. So then, they do love, they love Jens tuna, because she's like,

great with seafood. And then I love Tom. Tom's, like, his joy with Nini's dish. She's like, you know, I want to talk about Nini's dish. He's like, you know, I want to talk. I want to talk about Nini's carrot. I mean, I love that it's gotten half and it looks like a carrot. I love that It's like It's just like for some reason. He's like

He, Tom will occasionally get on these things that he like is oddly obsessive about like there was one season where someone made Coco Van but they used used a regular chicken instead of an actual coke. And he's like, this is an old-en. It needs to be an old-en. It's not an old-en. It's a chicken. It's not an old-en.

It's like, so he's doing the inverse here. He's like, well, I like this. It's a carrot. It looks like a carrot. I guess what I'm holding. If you said carrot, you'd be right. It looks exactly like a carrot. Or a tiny finger, really, depending on how you look at it. But good for her.

Yeah. So Nancy's like, well, Kevin's definitely wins the cover shot. I mean, it is gorgeous. And then Jeremiah's like, but it was a disaster. So many things going on. Oh, tell me about it. It's like a pot luck with gal. Am I right Padma? Hey at all these things rolling around, but then he forgot he was a cook Hey guys just want a reminded one that I'm holding a carrot. You see the carrot?

So then the next or Lisa is next and she's like charge shrimp and scallops of each. All right. Yeah. And then Brian Voltaggio has a fresh corn porridge with stable fish and leek tops. And then Eric has made a Chesapeake bowl with grilled prawns. So they're all eating it. Tom really likes that Lisa's CVJ has a nice cold flavor. It's like nice and simple, etc.

Had no love. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. Give it a simple. You know, it's like when you look at a carrot, it looks like a carrot. You know, it's I like that. I like that. I like that. So they like the, the juicy prawns and pat them.

I was like, every sad the best flavor. And girls like the Brian's dish like textural complexity. Oh, shut up, Malamar. That's just, I was like, actually, we disagree on this side of the table. I was like, well, welcome to the table, Suzanne. Tell me why, tell me why, tell us, please Suzanne, go on and tell us why Gail is wrong. Go on. Well, there was just a sophistication in this round we hadn't seen. Tell us please Suzanne go on and tell us why Gail is wrong go on Well, there was just a sophistication in this round we hadn't seen in Gail's choice of pirates leave you mean

agree Well, I think that we had a lovely meal and all in all we had some amazing food and whatever you can't finish just send over to Gail She'll take care of it. So the chefs are talking, they're like, oh my God, so many famous people. It's like they resurrected Jesus to judges. So the judges are talking, I mean, Gail. Gail with her flowy pirate sleeve and her terrible pattern.

I mean, thank you for staying you. You know, thank God Gail never comes back in a season. It's like, you know what, I've changed. No, Gail's like, fuck you, I'm Gail and I do Gail and that's it. Yeah, she's like, I love that as our first elimination, it took away everything and it just left you cooking in a way that we don't see very often. I'll tell you what, we don't see very often. Those sleeves, I mean, really, it's a lot, lot gal. It's a lot. That's your heart. Who had one of your favorites Tom? He's like, Jen. Jen Carol. Wow. I really loved it. I could have had it every day. Yeah, there's a lot of discussion about like I could have

had that for lunch every day. Like I feel like three different, three different judges were like, I can have that for lunch every day. A lunch, lunch appeal. And, you know, Lysis dish, that was pretty good. And the Riteq and Embers, I mean, come on. Riteq, Embers, it was amazing, you know. That was great. Lots of burnt flavors, bold, like that. So the yellow team wins and they're all, they're very happy and

surprised, they can't believe it because that basically I don't think any of them got for too far in their season. It was what Jamie Stephanie and Gregor well Gregory got the finals so Padma Padma says that Stephanie's dish was one of the best things that they had all day and Gregory salmon was perfectly cooked and Gregory wins, which I'm really happy for because I've always loved Gregory. And then one team did have our favorite dishes. One of you will be going, um, red team.

And Tom's like, all right before we get to the bottom, uh, Angelo. Wow, wasn't crazy about it. An uncooked oyster. And uh, it wasn wasn't cold it was like flambe Kevin the swordfish that was hammered who was a hammered swordfish and let's see is there anyone else I want to shoot on for right now even though they're not in the bottom I got to say you know Melissa don't like your socks today really not looking good I don't like that look for you. Yeah. Badness like red team. How are you feeling right now? How are you feeling now that we've said that you're the worst? You're the absolute worst even worse than those dishes that Tom just mentioned right now. Wow, that must feel terrible. How do you want to elaborate on that?

By the way, my largest face'm so angry. I know. He's so mad. He's so pissed. And everyone should be pissed at him. He's the one who forced everybody to make what he wanted. So yes, they get rid of Malarkey. Although, I've never, I've never been a Luigi fan either. I can't, you know, I don't like hating people because of their facial hair, but I think

you're allowed when they're trying so hard with their facial hair. It's like it's been all these years and you still haven't found anything else to point out about your personality other than fucking hair. Come on. Yeah, even Wally DeFresne has caught his stupid hair. So the thing is, with Joe Sasto, I seem to remember that my feeling was I actually found that his personality was lovely and he seemed like a really good chef, but I just could never get by the handlebar mustache.

And I think I started to produce back later on. I think he was like, No, you're right. He was fine at first and then he became a total debag and he was being me into like the unpopular kids or something. Oh, you're right. I don't like him.

I think you're reminding me, I hate when I can't remember things correctly. So that's correct. But that's what's in my mind and I'm going with it. So they're talking about the dishes and Padme goes, some people commented about a lot of liquid. Some did I'm not gonna say who but her name rhymes with fancy Bilberton Anyone want to try and explain Nancy's corn rose anybody. All right. That's let's carry on

Brian, I loved the color of your dish, but I don't know if it was the actual colors from your dish or if your teeth just Caused spots in my eyes. Seriously with those things Brian One thing that we found is that when you have a dish that has all this runny sauce on it Gales puffy sleeves sop it all up and it becomes a mess So we really didn't appreciate that and girls like I'm Luigi You put all this sauce on bread, and then there was soggy, and then it wasn't clean. What was the spread on that bread, Joe?

And he's like, I thought it would be the glue to hold it all together. And I'm like, huh? Glue, huh? Glue? Huh? Glue's not a good word when it comes to food. I mean, while you could try to glue things I mean as we saw from Nini's carrot you could cut it in half and have two separate pieces of the carrot and they still

look like carrots no need for glue. And Padma is so Padma. There was too much a only it covered up that stuff. We had to tell Gal it was just more double stuff from an Oreo in order to make her eat it So she's like Liam there was a lot to like but you needed a lot of Editing so I can't the sauce was heavy and we noticed you know the soot we noticed that and I was like huh flare ups Yeah, yeah, you can see it better Unfortunately, you can also taste it. So thanks for that. That tasted great.

Thanks. I'll tell you who else needs a lot of editing. Gail, after she gets back from Stein, Martin, oh my goodness, bless her heart. She does enjoy it, so. So it's private time. We come back and the chef's walk away. And Thomas is doing that blank where he's blank you really fast going

So Padma dresses everyone goes no one wants to be the first to go home So you're all safe gal go back to Canada But guess what it's time for Tom someologue. He's like, you know, Jeff's takes a lot of courage to come back here. Look stupid all over again. And you're fighting for your lives. They're not fighting for their lives. Okay. Literally. But thank you for your first speech of the year. He's like, it's tough to be the first, but unfortunately, sometimes, someone's got to be the first, but unfortunately, someone's gotta be the first. Padma? Padma?

Padma? Just as though, pack your knives and get away from me. Go back to your haunted mansion, loser. Go back to chasing Mario around and being second rate. Go back to jumping really high, but also being kind of slippery when you try to stop yourself. Hmm. Go back to being the Brian Voltassio of the Mario world. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha There's just too many ideas crammed onto one piece of mediocre bread. So get out of here toward the M.M. Thanks. Yeah. Yeah, you can edit yourself and hopefully win a bunch in last trans kitchen. All right, chefs. It's been a long hot day and I know it's hard to see Joe go kidding no one cares

But it's top chef and your next elimination challenge starts right now I was like oh Jesus Christ is still going but it ended. Yeah. So that brings us to the end of Toposheffa. Yay everyone thank you so much for listening we will be back on Monday with some real housewives of Atlanta. Have a great safe weekend. Stay inside, so she distance herself, wash her hands, and be good citizens.

Talk to you all later. Bye! Bye! Hey, Prime members! You can listen to Watch Your Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcastss before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.