Watch What Crappens - TopChef: Eat Your Art Out

Episode Date: April 7, 2020

This week on Top Chef, the contestants must make funky fried rice for Randal Park and Ali Wong. Then it's off to the Getty Center to find inspiration from art. Who will rise to the challenge, and who will piss off Padma? We recap the whole thing. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is Watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is What happens

What Guess what happens when they're so alive and happy? Kids what happens when they're so alive and happy? Kids what happens when they're so alive and happy? Kids what happens when they're so alive and happy? Hello and welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast about all the crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker of the Real Housewives of Kitchen Island and also the Game Brain board game podcast. Joining me is the wonderful, I just love this guy. I love this guy, this guy right here, it's Ronnie

Karam, the Rose Prick's Pat Rose podcast, who will soon be enduring the craziness that is tell it tell it to the heart, tell it to my heart, listen to my heart, listen to my heart, which is a song that I always feel like is sung by heart, but it's actually by rock set. Well, it's not as cute as a song title when you're actually overweight. That's like, check me for heart disease, you know. Like, it'd be dead at any moment. Welcome to the podcast.

Welcome. So, you guys, well, a few things, first and foremost, hope everyone's doing well and everyone's safe and sound, et cetera. And as you have probably figured out or heard, we had to postpone all our April shows. And that includes next week when we are supposed to be in Madison and Oklahoma.

So we're sorry we'll not be there next week. But to make it up, we are going to do another live stream live show live from quarantine show like we did last with Real Housewives of New York, which was super, super fun. And before that, we did that with New Jersey. We're going to do the premiere of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills next Friday night, the 17th live on the internet. So we'll have more details with that as it comes, but mark that down on your calendars for next Friday night. Let's have like an event. Let's all gather around the internet, internet fire. Yeah, the way we did it this year, or this this last week, was we did a

pre-show on Instagram live and then moved on to our Patreon. So if you want to do the live streams on Patreon, just go to the crappins on demand section, that's the $5 section in case you're confused over there. And you have access to all of our videos. We put up a couple of weeks and we're doing all of the Tiger King episodes except episode one. We didn't do that video but all the rest of them will be released throughout this week as a big bonus episode marathon of Tiger King. So to watch all of those and all of our archives just go over here. Oh yeah, crap is on to me.

Okay. Yeah, and that's basically what's going on here at Crappens. And of course, there's the Crappens merch. We have, you know what I love, we have this isolate thing that Ronnie made in GatherFont, but it says isolate. I'm actually going to get one of those, I'm still debating what I'm gonna get it as like a picture, but I just don't know what size, et cetera. But everyone go to Crappensmarch.com to get that.

And also been around 2020, but isolate is hilarious. And important and also public service announcements. So there you go. So go check that out. Yeah. Okay, so we've got a lot of shows going on right now on Bravo. There's a lot in our schedule, okay? And we're not covering it

all. So we do, we love covering top chef. Also, I think because it's a new, it's something that's new and fresh. It came on at least in the season. It's new. And you know, Atlanta, take a seat. Atlanta, have a rest. How many episodes do you need to have at Lanta, okay? Calm yourself to have less episodes. We love you. Well, I mean, here's the thing. Lance has also had several weeks off. Like, there was a week off last week. They take, you know, Lanta does not air against

the Super Bowl or the Oscars, or maybe they get the Oscars, but like, there are times when a Lanta does not air. So their season gets stretched out. I've actually really enjoyed this season, but last night's episode was felt a little bit like they had thrown together some elements to fit in order. We're going to talk about Top Chef today, but I do want to... Well, let's just touch real briefly on Atlanta on what happened last night. Basically Todd complained. Basically Todd was like, oh candy, you're spending so much time, you're ignoring your family,

you're ignoring your family and I never got to be a cameraman, which is what my dream always was. You know what Todd, stop projecting your jealousy out onto candy. He didn't want her going out to an event because he said that she wasn't spending enough time with the family, which I think is bullshit. I think it's that he's jealous that she gets to do all this cool stuff and that he's really not doing anything and now he he's gonna even blame her for taking away his dreams and making him look like a gold digger. That was all on you, sir. If you wanted to stay being a cameraman or a production assistant, you could have done that. Don't blame Candy for it.

Yeah, also, I think they did produce a couple of shows in the beginning and they just didn't work or something. They failed or something. So shut up, you had your chance. And also, Candy's not the one begging for babies. You were, okay? Is I recall Candy was like up, you had your chance. And also, candy's not the one begging for babies. You were, okay, is I recall candy was like, I've had a baby, I don't need to be having babies. Thanks. And you were like, and then guilt adrenaline to having goddamn babies. And so now she's had to. So

listen, you beg for babies. Now you have babies. Congratulations, you won. Now shut up and take care of your damn babies. Also, who is the one year who didn't talk to his own daughter for months on end? That was you. So don't start lecturing people about how much time they have to spend with their family. If you're not even going to talk to your own daughter. To me, it just was like he was fully projecting deep dissatisfaction with his own life, aka midlife crisis. Because he's trying to make her feel bad. He's trying to bring her down to the point where she does feel bad about doing like great stuff and like she is bringing the money and Candy is like you know, see now, right? People have this idea of

Todd being a gold digger. I'm like, yeah, because he gave up what he really wants to do to like he he clearly did not prove that he is like his own person, right? Because he totally just like, as soon as he made candy, he stepped away from everything that he normally does, which is why people probably think that. So it's just fucked-odd. Yeah, and now that said, she does have like

cute little baby A's over there, and he's like, hey, miss my mommy. So that was really sad, you know, at the same time. That was sad. You had a kid, you have, I mean, I don't know. What the fuck do I know? I don't have a mother. Here's what Todd's been saying to Ace. Who knows what Todd has been saying to Ace?

Like, do you miss your mommy? Do you miss your mommy to the point where Ace starts to cry? Like, I would not be surprised if that shit was happening. Well, I watch this scene very closely. So I was like, what the fuck is Ace's problem? You know, am I gonna have to start yelling at Ace now on this podcast? Which of course I wouldn't.

He's too cute to yell at. But he was, uh, mommy, look at this. And then he threw down his Legos and she couldn't see it and she was talking about her photo shoot. And that's why he's upset. He's like, I just want my mom to watch me slam these Legos or these Legos all over the kitchen counter. You know, and so I say, maybe you'd cry less if you stopped slamming Legos all over

the kitchen counter. How about that? Okay? Yeah. Now who's to blame? Ace, your mom is gone and it's because of you and your Legos. So there. And maybe, maybe you've Todd were just like an awesome enough dad.

Maybe like Ace would just even forget about mom and just be like, so maybe why don't you pull up Todd? Okay. Why don't you pull up? Okay Okay, why don't you pull up? Okay, so I just in the movie evil basically. Yeah, we are no idea I don't care. Okay, that's what I know. I don't give a shit I don't care how much time you spend with your kids. I don't care how much time you spend on the set or what what charity parties You go to here's what I don't care about Todd's feelings, okay? I don't know what you're saying for Todd's feelings.

And especially not for that long. I like the whole last part of it. They weren't even cutting to other characters. Like, okay, Todd was crying. Now let's cut to see what Neenie's doing. It was just like straight up, candy and Todd, for the whole last part of the episode. And then the other part of the episode was Kenya.

I mean, Jesus Christ, you made your choices. Okay, set up over there. Yeah, there was a lot of Kenya. It was like Kenya with the power of attorney and then Kenya with her lawyer. I have to admit, I don't even remember what happened in those scenes because we've seen those scenes a million times on this show and a million other shows.

So, like, I know how it works. She's going to talk about the marriage. The lawyer is going to be empathetic and then say some harsh realities of what has to be done next. And then she's going to start to cry because she never thought that this is the way things would end up. Because we've seen that scene play out on every single bravo show ever except for maybe Southern charm, but even Southern charm probably with Catherine and Thomas. Yeah, um, yeah, I was pretty bored with it overall.

And then Nini's redemption tour where she's like, haha, look at me. I'm just hilarious and fun loving. Look at me. Look at me with my husband. I'm like, really? Are we supposed to buy this? We just saw you two weeks ago. Stop faking real housewives of Atlanta. Yeah, but at least Marlo did have a nice

redemptive moment where she was being a little bit more vulnerable and she was talking about her struggles with trying to have a kid and everything and she starts telling us about how she's always been so hard and that her her nephews have made her less hard and that she's like okay with being vulnerable, which I thought was very nice. We'll see if she actually puts that into practice because I almost feel like there's a cynical side of me that feels like Marlow was just saying that because she knows it's like a good beat to have you know in your story. But either way I actually fell for it and I was like oh Marlow. And then yeah, they had this March of Dime events because...

Pushing the face of March of Dimes! And so all the ladies were talking about their personal struggles with having babies and, you know, and they were telling all these really touching stories. And then it gets to Kenya, who's just such a fucking asshole. I mean it gets to Kenya who's just such a fucking asshole. I mean, it gets to Kenya and she's like, oh yesha mia, nice story. Remember when that happened and I was the first one you called? That was nice.

And remember how I got everything to help you? I was like, leave it up to Kenya to even make fucking march of dimes about her. You know? Exactly. And then Porsche just looking like I didn't realize there were clothes like that. Okay, yeah, that was a very,

that was a surprising moment. Also, Eva had her baby, so there's that, that's over with. And also, and Cynthia did something, I don't remember what, she just hung out with Nini. I was like pretending, she was acting like Nini,

she was doing her part in the Greek tragedy that she never got to do. But my last thought, by the way, just going back to Candy and Todd because what's like, why not just keep harping on something? But for all of Todd's complaints, okay, let's not forget what happened. They even had a flashback to the scene

where they had a big fight when they were in the OLG Crayp Factory or something, whatever they were doing. You know, like the next, like decrepit building that Todd found. And he's like, this will be great. This will be great. And Candy is like, see? No. Todd.

You can't keep opening these places. And he's like, it'll be okay. And she's like, we're putting money into this for a year and nothing's happened. And he was like, I had to like, oh no, no, no, everything's gonna be great. And she was like, just wait until one recession comes through. Well, guess what? Here we are. That's, all I gotta say is, point to candy, point to candy zero for Todd.

Yeah, unfortunately that point costs her money. So that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's why Todd, this is why Todd drives me nuts. Because she was saying wait for, like I've written out a recession. I know what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's why Todd. This white Todd drives me nuts because it was she was saying wait for like I I've written out of a session. I know what it's like. He hasn't really done that and now here we are unfortunately for not just Candy and Todd for a lot of people and just like that's why I get so angry like people like this who get or so What's the right like Cavalier about spending other people's money? I know it's their money. They're married, but they're so Christin Cavalier people. Yeah, I

Very Cavalier. I watch way too much Bravo because my first thought when all of this happened and they were like, oh my god The economy's gonna tank. I was like candy's right That was my first thought was god I should have listened to candy She's gonna be on C and B C So let's move on to top chef shall we Yeah, let's do that. So previously on top chef Ruth Ryshaw was like fuck all of you guys in your chunky balls Yeah, I'm gonna award this to Kevin and this clunky balls. Yeah, yeah, previously on top chef, someone killed a tuna in the vein.

That's what I gotta say about that. Fuck all of you. And then Kevin, you know, I know a lot of people like Kevin and they're not liking that he makes me this crazy, but he just does. I can't help it, okay. This is Kevin. He's like, winning this challenge made me very emotional. I came to Top Chef the first time to tell a story and since winning the fight with cancer, I thought now it's time to come back for a different part of my story. I have more of my story to share. Shut up with your fucking story, okay. Make me a sandwich, okay. I'm not here here.'m here. You're fucking, you're fucking story. Okay, may eventually.

Yeah. I don't even get that reference, but I liked it. Let me tell you something. I am so happy that he is healthy and back and beat cancer. That is a given and, you know, bravo to him. But that being said, his story the first time around was that he had like a bacon tattoo or something like that.

His pig or bacon. It's not as first time around was that he had like a bacon tattoo, or something like that, or a pig or a bacon. It's not as bad as brother love who actually had like Mizon Bloss as his tattoo, and it's like, it's like, my, Mizon Bloss, like shut the fuck up, okay? But bacon tattoo is also really, it's like the only thing that worse would have been if he actually had like a tattoo of kale, all right?

So his story to begin with was not great. It was like a, like the editor should have like, returned it back and said, please do more writing on the story because we do not like where it is right now. Yeah. And then we got, I love the flashback of Padma just telling off Stephanie. Because Stephanie is like, oh my god Padma was so scary. And then it cussed to Padma going, I thought it lacked flavor. I thought it lacked punch. I thought it laughed at punch. I thought it laughed at punch. This is why people in Indian food, the kind of stuff you get from Trader Joe's, it lacked

acid and salt and a point of view. I hated it. What did you think? Oh, she already ate all of it. Typical. So then Neenie is talking to Stephanie and Karen. And she's like, you know, like so many talented women are here, but we just don't have the confidence level that the guys have like welcome to the world, okay?

I know there's nothing more confident than a mediocre straight white guy, okay? I mean seriously, I mean Ronnie just spoke some real truth there and then you just hear the guys often another room Just go falling about something you just know something stupid like guess what I did I switched out some balsamic for a reduced to share even a grid It's like yeah, I found a perch and I was gonna use a halibut But I went with perch instead and it rarts One time this lady asked me for gluten friar. I was like it's gluten free. There was totally wheat flour I'm saying it right now. Escarole is the new romance I'm saying it right now. Escarol is the new romance. Oh, yeah.

Oh, so Karen is like, yeah, you know, I've really, I've just been kicked in the face over and over. It was so hard for me last time I was here. And it ruined me for years. It ruined me. Um, cried every day. But you know, now I have a support group and we're just going to be here for each other. And then she spends the rest of the episode crying Did you notice that like every time they cried in her in diary room?

She had been sobbing. It's like they just got they just peeled her off of the floor and we're like okay You need to stop crying at least long enough to narrate the scene. Okay. I've got it I can do it. I can do it. She hasn'tottled rage the entire episode. Like she's, Karen is so nice that she won't allow herself to be angry, but you can see it like coming through. And here she's like, yeah, I really got to take the face a lot, a lot. And it ruined me for years. I mean, I mean, it's hard to believe I even won

a James Beard Award considering how ruined I was from this show. But I guess the only one with a James Beard Award who still how Runda was from this show, but I guess it's the only one with a James Beard Award who still gets no respect from all the guys. I guess that's just my cross to bear. No, even when I was winning, they even when I was winning the James Beard Award, they said, and now presenting this James Weard Award, and I was like, God, even here, even here,

kicked in the face. It's just so funny how I actually have a James Beard Award, a real one, and Malarkey is the one who winds up hosting a TV show. I... Malarkey almost rhymes with patriarchy, I guess. I don't know. I don't know. I'm just saying things now. Oh, so, um, next up, Pat and was like, hello! Famous person speaking? Hello, hello! I'm wearing mustard. Yes, it's what Gail puts on top of her wrist, so she can have something to chew when she's out of french fries.

So far, you've been cooking for some of the biggest names in the business, and Gail. Today, please welcome two masters of their their craft and frequent collaborators in fellow famous people Alie Wong and Randle Park, come on out famous people Wooo! So everybody fans out over these two things Oh my god! And then Alie Wong seasonini and she's like um nice glasses. I have glasses too.

Glasses sisters. I love glasses. I sometimes I would wear glasses if I didn't have perfect vision. Are we bonding yet? Famous person? I need to get to a point where I could save my friend Alie Wong. What is the version of clothes? What is the version of glasses in relation to clothes? Like what could I wear to correct my figure? Yeah, I don't need those kinds of glasses either. Anyway famous people. So Randall starts talking about how when he was at UCLA he had I believe it was an Asian American theater troupe

Right that would he said Asian American theater troupe and that they had like a fried rice competition They would have one and people would make all sorts of crazy fried rice and Ali actually submitted one that had cranberry in it and she's like no one liked it because I had cranberry but then like the one that one was like chocolate fried rice so Based on that the challenge is you have 30 minutes to create the best damn fried rice you can think of to make us famous people happy. Now how can they make fried rice in 30 minutes? Can somebody explain this to me? I know that I'm always you know pretending to like care about times on this show. So why not today? Doesn't it take like a good 20 minutes to make rice? I mean, you got it.

So I was assuming that they were given rice that was already cooked. I'm just kidding, because I thought that too. They're not even making rice. There was no footage of the rice. So I think they were given rice. Okay, I mean, you can pressure cook rice, but even in the instant pot, you put one minute

to cook white rice, which is amazing, but it still takes five minutes to warm up, you know. Yeah, I think I'm up to pressure. So I've actually never done rice in the pressure cooker, but I think your point stands, I think that there was, but honestly, even if it did take 15 minutes to make some rice, they could, they could in like a rice cooker, they could, it's still plenty of time to make a fried rice. Yeah. Well, this is why this is a very good example of why you should never let like wacky people cook for you Because Randall's like, you know, here's what I like with my fried rice

Jelly bought jelly beans, you know Twizzlers, they cure it. They cure it. They give them like like food network type ingredients where they get to like they have crazy Ingredients that they have to incorporate into yeah,, and Ali likes anything that smells like a foot. So she likes cheese and frog legs. Gross, you guys. Come on shoes. Here comes one right now. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter

or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity view, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent tick-tock of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows.

It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood, how much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can lace an ad free on the Amazon Music or Wonder Yeah. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors.

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Let's get Racy with Miss Stacey. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Incredible edible Matthews sisters. And she ain't no shrinking violet koo-char. We love you guys. So that's like on your marks gets that go so the chefs all attack this table of ingredients like animals like usual and Ali is like So excited to be part of it because she's clearly a fan and there's this really quick shot of Padma grabbing Ali by the arm and be like Quick out of the way you're a celebrity you can't be near the disclos to all the normal people out of the way Ali I don't want you to get hurt

Ali too many fat people are charging out you be at be careful Ali so they start putting together this fried rice stuff and Leanne's like oh I'm trying to ease and fried rice it's a lifestyle I was like please don't fuck this up Leanne because you've had a rough time so for the season and I's like, I'm Chinese and Fred Rice, it's a lifestyle. I was like, please don't fuck this up, Leanne, because you've had a rough time so forever season. And I really like you. I know, I'm, I really love Leanne, and I've been, I've been rooting for Leanne since season one, but she, she has really, really been like messing up a lot.

Like every time she comes back to the show, I feel like she messes up a lot. Yeah. But, and then Brian Valtaz, she was like, well, Fred Rice is not something I've made a lot, because I'm pretty much as white as they come, but it's something I really respect. And by respect, I mean,

I really never think much about it, but thought I'd say something nice in case someone accused me of being ignorant. So I respect it. I respect it. I'm gonna make a shrimp fried rice, which will be more like a porridge, and then there will be free-dotagoracci on top. I was like, I just heard porridge. Don't do it. Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna make a,

it's gonna be sort of like a fried rice, but instead of rice, it's gonna actually just be a piece of branzino that I'm gonna sear on a bed of mixed greens. So Ali goes to check on Karen and Karen's like, oh, I'm confident. I'm so confident. Yeah. And then Randall tells Leanne that he loves her restaurant, so she's really excited. And then Kevin is like, well, here's the next chapter of my story. I actually don't even know how to make fried rice. That's right. I'm a chef in a national competition here,

and I don't know how to make fried rice. So I'm just gonna use this giant jar of weeners, because even if I don't win, I can say weeners five times. Yeah. Hey, why are all the women looking at me like that? Wow. He's gonna make a hot dog whiskey and Cheeto fried rice.

Wow. And Nene is using watermelon for her, which, yeah. God, I like you, Nini. Stop. What are you doing? And even she didn't know. She was like, I don't know why I grabbed this watermelon.

I just, I just did. Yes. And then who's making spam with shallots? I think that might have been Jamie. Jamie was making spam with, and then it was, they were in a lot to say spam. They had to call it canned meat. But yeah, he was doing that. Oh, he's like, well, all the history with immunity.

So I would really like to win immunity. I would be glad. Yeah. And then Eric is making peanut butter and jelly fried rice because it's you know He talks about how his mom used to just always make at the end of the week of fried rice He just dump everything into it. So peanut butter and jelly fried rice is what he's doing Which honestly I at first I was like that's odd, but then the more started thinking about it I was like that's probably delicious. Yeah, I make like oatmeal overnight oats with that. That's good

So if I was like one, non-famous people. And basically hands up utensils down. That's my favorite part. Jazz hands. Jazz hands. Look at me trying to be funny. Like two comedians. We're three comedians standing here together. Three very famous comedians. two of which have great vision, one. It's working on it. Anyway, friends for life. R-O-F-L, right famous people. So then they start going around.

Everyone presents their food. And Kevin's like, um, in this chapter of my story, I'll be calling this Bachelor Fried Rice. It's got weeners, Cheetos, weeners, winners, and winners. And then Malarkey is like, oh, have you ever made this before? Sorry. Oh, did she? Yes, she just have you ever made this before? Look at that, Ali. Just like the way I interrogated the normal. So then Malarkey's like, oh, Fig and Pomegranate forbidden fried rice, frog legs, out of bonkery, curry curry.

Yeah, he's all about that. What was it, the Voduvon? He does that in the quickfire end of final one also. Plus, you know what really bothers me about Brian Malarkey and a bunch of them do it, but when he does it, it's just like the worst. When they come up,, well, we have gone with a fig and palm grant for being rise blah blah blah I'm like, we're talking about we have gone with it's just you. It's just say I have made you I can't stand the we have gone with it just drags me nuts. You've always got to be prepared to blame and underling when shit goes south Yeah, seriously, so Eric has his peanut butter and jelly,

and Stephanie does her Nashville fried frog legs. With sloth. And he does the watermelon fried rice with usun fish sauce, and Gregory does a frog leg and salt cod fried rice. Yes. I actually think that sounds good. I can see that being like a real like, I can see that being like an umami naj,

as Stephanie says later on. It's just so pretentious. So Jamie does the spam thing, and Brian Voltage does the shrimp fried rice. And so it's basically like a rice porridge with some crisped up fried rice on top with some other stuff. And Pam goes, so, did you crisped up fried rice on top with some other stuff and Pam goes, so did you make us a fried rice, did you make us a rice porridge?

Answer carefully, answer carefully. It's like, well, I enjoy, you know, I don't really know fried rice, so I did both with a porridge on the bottom and has my brother done this yet, could you please text him and tell him I did the first things? Michael did it better. So then Karen presents her nazi gaurang. I'm proud of him. It's like this is exactly like nazi gaurang. I hate it.

There are two things in this world that I hate Nazi garrang and gales patterns congrats you got one of them So they alley starts and she's like come I have two children under five wacky children That's for sure. So this was all really wacky delightful. How there is Jamie the spam is just so salty, it just overpowered the rest. Yeah, and then Nini, she's like, I'm, Pam, Pam goes, I love the idea of the watermelon, but in this size that you have it, it watered down the flavor of the rice. I hate, I almost was gonna say something mean about Gail, but even I had to hold myself back. So Allie's Fave was Kevin.

He's like, chapter, this is the beginning of a new chapter. Thank you. So like, Kevin, it was the party in my mouth. Wacky! And Randall liked Eric's the best, peanut butter and jelly. But Patma. Karen, the texture is such a part of the experience and you nailed that Nazi

garrang, which tastes just like Nazi garrang. Whoa. As the resident Nazi garrang expert here, I'd like to turn this over to these two famous people to say who wins. Kevin! And so Kevin wins and then there's this close-up of Karen just looking pissed. It's like a long close of a fur being like well Okay, I I did have a perfect Nazi garrang, but I guess his

His weener his weener fried rice whatever that is Sure, I'm sure he has a James Burt award to back that up to yeah that wins But I worked hard so somebody getting shit out of a snack bar can beat me great guys Thanks great. I mean mine was perfect. It was literally perfect, but that's okay. That's okay. Los Angeles is home to more hookers than any other city. Awesome museums. On top of that, on top of that list is the Getty Museum named after one of the

great actresses of our time, Astell Getty. Chefs, you have to interpret a work of art that was portrayed on the Golden Girls and put it on to a plate. Am I reading this right? There are four art movements, ballet, tap, jazz, and spirit fingers. Do we need to re-record that? Somebody gonna lift up some cardboard for me to read? That would be great. There are four art movements.

M&Ms, Cheetos, old cardboard, and some rancid fish. Oh wait, that's what Gale ate for dinner last night. Forgive me. I would like to present your guest judge, Nazika Rang. Is anybody gonna lift up anything for me to read? Or am I just gonna make this up? Joining me tonight as a special guest is someone who's very famous who I'll say is my friend. Okay chefs, we're gonna pick knives. Every chef at the same movement will compete against

each other for that movement. One will win, one will be safe, one will kill themselves in the middle of the Hooker Museum, and one will get run over by a car, ridden by a gale, trying to get to ribs. Well you guys figure out what you want to eat or serve. I'm gonna hang out with my friend, Lena Weith. Okay, have fun. So Malarkey's like, well I don't care which knife I draw. I don't understand any of these different styles of art. I just hope to draw knives with people at better chance of beating. I was like, how appropriate is that?

The Malarkey literally has like an artless soul, right? Like that is... And it's proud of it. It is proud of it. Like he doesn't even know how to interpret art. Yeah. He's like, fuck art. Art sucks.

Yeah, let me just beat people. He's like, please get me the artist who paint talent. Please. Out-alibate and stupid glasses. That's what I'm hoping for, guys. All right, so we have our four teams. Neoclassical will be Jennifer Erick and Karen, Baroque is Brian Liesa and Jamie.

Not famous is Malarkeke Nini and Leanne and stupid and ugly Stephanie Melissa and Gregory have fun. So we go to the Estelle Gabby and Melissa is like wow it's so nostalgic this was my first kitchen job at 17 years old I can't wait to look at art and be inspired. This girl's a serial killer, okay? This girl's too perfect. She is perfect. She's nice. She's kind.

She's talented. She's even killed. Yeah, she's happy. She's genuinely happy. I don't trust the bitch. Someone figure out what's going on with her. We should also mention that Karen, well, because Kevin won the Quick Fire,

he got to choose which group he's going to be with. So he chose the group that Karen's well because Kevin won the quick fire, he got to choose which group he's going to be with, so he chose the group that Karen's on and Karen's like, well this sucks. I mean, it just means it's one less chance to win and he has immunity and I just really wish I had won that quick fire. I mean, you would think that James Beard award winner who had made quote unquote the perfect nasty garrang would win, but like, you know, Cheetos, who does who does that? Who does that? That would be the perfect nasty garrang would win, but like, you know, Cheetos, who does who does thought who does thought that that would be the perfect nasty garrang? So happy so happy. Yeah. Oh

Get over it Karen. It's fine. It's not like if it if it had only if it had been him and you still only have three people on your team But no, come on. It's four people. It's an additional person on your team. You'll survive this stop your whining. Yeah So Stephanie is very intimidated by her Rococo team. I don't even remember who's on it, even though I just said who it was, but she's intimidated because she's basically, she's like lost all her confidence after she attempted to cook Indian food for Padma. So she's just barely hanging on by a thread at this point. Yeah. And then they take a look at all this art in the Renaissance period. And Mimi's like, I'm from Nola, which means rebirth

because you know Katrina and staff. So I'm going to make gumbo. And I was like, mm, yeah. Well, yeah. Well, her whole thing was Renaissance because of Renaissance. Like the New Orleans went through a Renaissance essentially. And so she says this thing. And then they cut to Malarque looking at her like,

oh, what's this stupid woman saying right now? You're yet. Yeah, I love when they just close up on Malarque's face because it always looks like he's being horrible, no matter what's being said, but I think that's just his face. I mean, well, it's his new face, yes. So then the Baroque team, they're team, the Baroque team is like Brian

of Altagio and Lisa, and I forget the other one. But they are like walking to their Baroque gallery and Brian Valtagio's shoes are like super squeaky. I don't know if he's stepping a puddle or something, but he's just like squeaking through the getty. And Lisa is like, you're really loud chef. Oh, I thought they were Lisa shoes. Oh, no, I thought they were Brian. But I've always been a person who's walking through the museum like,

and Valtagia was like, my wife is a graphic darness. So I'll be great at Baroque. And then Lisa at least it just keeps saying over and over. She's like, well, what I'm really sensing from all of these pictures is that there's like clashing just with lichen clashing with civilizations that are clashing with, I don't know, thongs and those songs are clashing with cows and those cows are clashing. I don't know, it's clashing. A lot of things clashing. So I'm going to clash. That is so Lisa to look at the Baroque period and her takeaway is Angry Animals, right? That is just like, there was an Angry Boer.

I'm like, so I'm a little rusty on all my art movements, but I thought one of the defining features of the Baroque period was, things were dark, right? It wasn't like, it was like the darkness after the Renaissance, right? Isn't that like Rembrandt's whole thing and I could be wrong But I was like I was surprised that that was not Like an element any of their food of course I could also be a hundred percent wrong, which is why it is Characters it is characterized by or neat detail in architecture the period is exemplified by the palace of the Sai and by the work of

Benini in the entirety. Major composers include Vivaldi. Back! Hundred! Well that's music and architecture and stuff. But yeah, Versailles with Dark, I think it's overly ornate. Like a pain, like a painsy red velvet jacket and tassels or music that has a lot going on and might include a hopscord. Mmm. I mean that makes sense because like if you use Baroque as an additive, it means something that's like very complex or like hard to like navigate through. So I get that, but I don't know.

I clearly have to brush up on my artistic periods. Well, clearly, I don't because I have Google, so I know everything, okay? Thanks Internet. Thanks for making me so smart. So Kevin is crying. It's Kevin crying. Neo classes. So it's Karen, Kevin, Jen and Eric. I must have met Karen as crying because Karen always looks like she's current.

So she's like, I'm having trouble because like, I mean, I'm taken by the straightforward style of the painting, but it's just so hard. This is really hard. Yes, she's struggling how to figure out how to do something straight forward. Yes, so she has those shiny eyes. She just cried about neoclassicism. So then ultimately we go over to Whole Foods where these people act like monsters as usual, just like diving in onto their carts. I think Malarkey was first. I think Malarkey

set the tone for like the monstrosity of them all, just like a bunch of Wolverines terrorizing the stories they get their ingredients. Yeah, and it's like rock music. It's like diners driving some dives music. It's like, yeah, okay, you're in a Whole Foods, okay. It's like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, you're in a whole foods, okay? Let's start pretending like we're the stones on acid right now. So Jim's like, well, you know, what I'm doing is, Neo-Clafora,

Neo-Clafora floor, God damn it. I'm doing Neo-Clafora, like, God damn it. God damn it. It's in any way that you know how to pronounce this God damn thing I'm making fuck Yeah, cuz she's gonna do a dish that's one color with a fish. That's the star and then Malarkey's gonna Marlarky's like I'm gonna do a halibut in a Vodavon French curry even though I just did a Vodavon French curry about 30 minutes ago and

You know so basically cuz I noticed that in the Renaissance art there are a lot of halos a lot of halos It'll be like it's the halo of halibut get it get it. I'm like was there a joke there It's like I'm so into root vegetables and parsnaps, you know Basically Jesus is hat before they shot him in the head You know for like turning on the mob or whatever that was So I was like the crown of thorns. What are you talking about? Yeah, hats love hats halos. They're all great Yeah, and also, like, I thought the whole, okay,

now here again, I'm relying on my like decrepit memory of artistic movements, but I thought the whole thing was that halos were really big in medieval art, like gothic art and that the whole thing with the renaissance was it was a move away from the halos. Wasn't that the whole thing, wasn't that the whole thing with halos in the Renaissance? Am I wrong? Was there a whole thing with halos in the Renaissance?

What's the deal with halos in the Renaissance? No, I think they had a ton of halos because those are all the religious paintings, aren't they? I'm looking up religious. And I don't see a lot of halos, actually. I'm looking up the Renaissance. And I thought it was big in the medieval period and goth, again, I thought they're in Renaissance.

Oh, decline of the halo. There's actually, okay, there's actually Wikipedia page called halo and religious iconography. Okay, all right girls, let's read about this. So with the client of the halo happened, Jato, Jato was a huge Renaissance painter. Yeah, in the early 15th century. Yeah, so basically, yeah. So in the Renaissance, in the early 15th century. Yeah, so basically, yeah.

So in the Renaissance, basically the halo was in decline. So there's just a long way to say, once again, Malarkey is full of bullshit. Yeah. He saw one halo and was like, oh, well, the Renaissance is all about the halo. Well, let me tell you, you know, I sure love the haloes and the Giovanni de Pauallo. I mean those are great little kids trying to grab his mom's earring You know how it goes so

You can talk just by the way just Google over here. I'm like how many hallows do I count? And the way in the Wikipedia page it said here's a line in the high Renaissance even most Italian painters dispense with halos altogether. So there everyone there you have it. Malarkey and his thirst the expired halo everybody. Yeah, Malarkey spreading halo disinformation misinformation. So then carrying she's in Renaissance too right or no neoclassicism wait isn't yeah she's she's in neoclassicism she's gonna do she wants to do something that's straight forward that's why she says so I'm gonna make a simple chicken dish it's gonna be

you know just noble simplicity a piece of chicken okay but wasn't Malarkey in neoclassicism to he's not in renaissance no he was in he was in renaissance with Neenie remember cuz he sneered at NeNe. Oh, right. I'd like to do a little thing. Yeah, well Karen's right. I'm looking at the Neoclassicism. Wow. This is like poor sad people. It's like if if there was a filter at the time it would be like the dark filter. We're like, okay, Let's take a perfectly lovely day, but just make it look really dark and depressing. Okay, everybody. Yeah, it's basically, it's like those weird filters on Instagram that are towards the end of the list that you never get to. Yeah.

Like, kel, like, kelvin. No one in the history of Instagram ever uses kelvin. And the paintings are all depressing. It's like all people dying or fighting or just like having, you know, like a simple argument. Or just sitting around and ill-fitting Togas, just giving each other really four-learned looks. Like, oh, this sucks. But, you know, there's also like an austerity about it that probably would translate pretty

easily, I think, to food and like, like high-level food. And I think that, I think they were all looking at it as like simplicity, simplicity, instead of like austerity and I think That's probably where a bunch of them definitely went awry Well, it should be perfect for Karen because it's just depressing You're crying the whole time, but yeah, I thought she was in real trouble when she's like and I'm gonna do some chibbon and chicken thighs should bone and chicken size. Pfft. Pfft.

Based on what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna do an airplane chicken and just call it a chicken. Just a lot of chicken. And then the guy at Whole Foods gives her a bag and she like throws it up in the air to twist it and it drops one. She's like, God damn it, mother fucker. Pfft.

Look at me, the James Beer winner dropping something on the floor. It's typical. So then, let's see. Okay, so then the Yan is like, my inspiration is the mother, daughter, or the mother child, painting. So I'm gonna make duck and also duck eggs

because of suckling of the mother. Yeah, it's like mother and daughter, it's because the Virgin Mary It's like mother and daughters, because the Virgin Mary and Malarkey is like, wow, Leanne has a lot of prep to do. More is not better, and that's me saying that. Me, did you guys get that? Were you guys rolling?

Because that was a funny comment by me. You wanted me to do that one again, okay? Hey Lisa, what are you doing? She's like, come, conflict, angry animals, animals hate each other, animals kicking ass, animals losing out on us season they deserve to fucking way. Or I'm doing Stephanie's head on the plate upside down. All right.

You know that game Animal Crossing, which should be called animals, fucking each other up. That's what it should be called. So the meanie is talking meanie's like, so Lisa, so are you saying that you're torn between two civilizations? And he's like, so Lisa, so are you saying that you're torn between two civilizations? And she's like, yeah, I'm Jewish, but also Mexican. She's like, okay. He's like actually my last name is Portuguese, but I'm just a white Jewish girl from Canada. I was like, I did not know that. That is okay. All right. So then Brian is making a, I guess this is Voltaugh.

Potential. He's like, wow, Baroque. Red snapper, because it's red. So I'm gonna go with that. Like red art, they have red in art. That's a paint. I saw a painting and I saw a pop of red. So I got some red snapper.

You know, Michael did me the favor of texting me, saying that he just decided to do the challenge on his own for the fun of it, and he actually made, he actually made a painting out of Red snapper. So, I guess you won up me again. Yeah, and then Stephanie's like, well, I'm really inspired by that painting

of chunky chicks and a fountain or whatever, and their curse reminded me of Tortellini. So I'm guessing I was gonna use more to dialogue, and I was gonna say it's fleshy, but I don't think I should say that. Everyone hates me. I don't know. And Gregory is just doing a short rib with a miso zoo

to represent the Asian influenza of the Rococo period. So there's that. So then Karen is, so then they're all cooking and then there's like this brief moment where Karen is like, hi, hi, I'm just, I'm just trying to get a teeny piece of space here. I've, I've actually had no space the entire time I've been here.

It's just, just no. Okay, okay, you're just giving me a little pad to, this is a pad, This is not a cutting board Is a paper pad. This is not space. Okay. All right. I'll just stand over here Well, I don't want you to feel bad because it's time for Ludo to come in I know it is me chef Ludo Yeah, Ludo the Feb comes in and of course Malarkey races up to him to give him like some like dapp like hey bro What's going on?

Because as, as Roddy and I have mentioned several times and is now being acknowledged on the show, Malarkey was a co-host on the taste, which was Anthony Bourdain and Ludo Lefeb and Nigella. And somehow Malarkey got cast on that show. Season two. Season two. Season two. He wasn't in season one.

Who was the letter season one? I think Malarkey came in season two. I could be wrong, but I think I'm correct. There was someone else in season one. I'm looking at that. So I loved that show watched every're right. He came, God, I had three seasons. Malarkey, oh no, no, no, no. Malarkey was season one, I think. He was only one season out, cha. Because he was replaced by Marcus Samuel, so it looks like. Oh, okay, so I had it backwards.

Oh, wow. That gives me such joy to know that he was actually like kicked off the show. That is like deeply satisfying. And he doesn't even know that he was actually like kicked off the show that is like deeply satisfying and he doesn't even acknowledge that he got the boot because he's like oh god I love Ludo we were co-hosts with Anthony Bourdain and my jell-a on this television show but that ended so here I am on a bunk bed it's going great and Ludo's like, oh man, you're so brave for doing this. This is crazy that you're doing this. And he's like, uh, yeah, thanks. Because Eric's like, what the fuck are you doing competing again?

I know. By the way, my chief memory of Ludo Lafeb, obviously, is a very acclaimed chef, but I will always remember that back in the day, it was in the, did you ever watch the apprentice back in the day? Did you ever use to watch it? I watched a few seasons of it. There was like one terrible season in Los Angeles and one of the contestants was Ludo's wife

and he came in and like cooked dinner for everyone. I was like, whole thing, it's like, this is my husband. He's a chef and I was like, wow. And now Ludo Lufab is like Ludo Lufab. So that's, I'm just mentioning that for anyone out there who also remembers that. Well, it's like, I see you. I see you.

All my memories of Ludo are from the taste. I loved him. Just how he would yell at his team members and stuff. He's like, what are you doing? Come on! What was that girl's name? It was like a really pretty girl. You know, I don't remember. I didn't watch. I always see all the girls. Okay. Well, half a memory. He's don't cap. So anyway, he's like, I am blue though. Well, please,

my lucky. Why are you doing this to yourself? Come on. And so he's going to be nice to Brian because he just feels sorry for him. He's like, you're so brave pretty much Pretty much so yeah, so Eric is put he's poaching a halibut that represents some sort of reaction to the Rococo period and then Jamie is so Jamie is He's gonna be searing a chicken breast but he's also sous-vying it or something like that But he's the point is us the sous-vie machine is out, which is always death knell on Top Chef. I don't know why he's doing this.

And Tom doesn't even know. He's like, so why don't you do the sous-vie? Why are you gonna do that? You know? And Jamie basically is having Vietnam flashbacks to the first time he was on Top Chef, and he like served some horrific chicken in Charleston, and we see this shot of

Padma eating up you like oh this is absolutely terrible what sort of non-famous person made this piece of shit. I can tell you this much whoever made this chicken doesn't have an IMTB page. I need to speak with your agent oh that's right you don't have one. And then he makes the same mistake that so many chefs who have come before him use where he's like, well, I made a mistake once, so I'm going to do it again. And I proved that I'm not the guy who messes up chicken. Which, you know, that's a dumb mistake to make,

because chicken is not the hardest meat. It's probably the easiest meat. And it's also kind of the most hated meat or cooking shows. They're usually like, chicken, you're gonna be fucking chicken breast, come on! Well, I actually think, I actually don't think chicken is the easiest meat. I think that chicken actually has a... Chicken, it's like the most ordinary or pedestrian, but I think it actually is very difficult because

it can be easily overcooked if you're doing a breast. You don't have the flexibility of undercooking it like you can with beef. I think that chicken is very, very tricky. It's tricky and also has the feeling of not feeling elevated. So if you mess it up, you're not only like, like, not only is it easy to mess up, but it's also easy to make it feel like you just like, not reached for the stars. Okay, yeah.

So then, we can, I'll go with that. That works for me. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. That goes, but I don't. Cool, cool, cool. Yeah, I'll go with that. I'll stick with that So then Tom's like, so how are you gonna get a depth with this chicken Jamie? It's a chicken you're making so What are you gonna do there? And he's like, oh, I'm gonna get depth through flavor, Tom

All right, it's hard to cook a lot of chicken. Tom's like, all right good luck loser Wow Looking forward to that shoe that goes with that chicken. Don was like, all right. Good luck, loser. Wow, I'm looking forward to that zoo that goes with that chicken. We'll see you later. So then, Jen is now talking to Kevin. The producer was like, hey Jen, can you ask Kevin how he's doing?

So he's like, yo, Kevin has, has you, and I am looking and Kevin goes, I'm done. Just kidding, I'm not done. Ha, ha, ha. Really? And then, uh, Vatma, Vatma's nod. Why am I saying Vatma's nod? Oh, because we're at the judges.

Because the judges enter the restaurant. Okay, so the judges come. And Vatma's like, we're gonna be eating a lot of food. Gail's like, where are you looking at me? Stop looking at me. Can I just have a moment? I even showed up today, not wearing a pattern. I even showed up today without wearing a pattern. Oh yeah, and you're wearing futuristic Mrs. Jetson sleeves.

Wow. I like how when they walked in the restaurant, because it's just like crazy downtown restaurant with huge columns and stuff. And Pam goes, super beautiful. It's what people say to me all the time. What do they say to you, Gale? is what people say to me all the time. What did they say to you, Gail?

So the yellow team is Renaissance, and it's Malarkey, Leanne, and Mimi, and Mimi presents her poached halibut and shrimp seafood gumbo. And Padden was like, mm-hmm. She just kind of gives it a look. And then Malarkey's like, well, I noticed that the center of attention was biblical

and there was a halo on a painting. So I went with halos, which basically means I squirted some sauce onto a plate and made a circle. Okay. It's a halo of halibut, which you think would mean it's a halo made of halibut, but it's actually just a halba with a halo So I guess my name isn't so great, but guess what I was on the taste for season so anyway

And I guess that makes me a famous person too right high five. Hi, don't let me hang in here Pat Come on, Pat. I'm like well, I was inspired by Madonna and child Madonna's gross children are gross and you know, mean, basically this is gonna make you think of, I don't know, shitting the bed when you have a baby or a baby suckling from you, which really hurts. Like basically it's times to shit that doesn't really make you wanna eat. So here's the duck and duck eggs. I'm so enjoy that.

Yeah, imagine your head, guys. And Pamma just tears at her fork of Leanne's duck like, am I supposed to eat this? Lazy and Jell-man at the table, I think we can all agree that Leanne's dish is uniquely terrible. So if you'd like, please pass it all down to Gale. She'll take care of that for you. So they start talking about it and kill Gills like I

Really liked that meanie connected a Renaissance to her own personal Renaissance Just like Hitting her on the head with a plate set up gal Congratulations gal you made a simple connection in line and Lou just like well I like Milwaukee You know I feel bad for him. Oh man. What is he doing? Throw a dollar into space that's what I say yeah he's like yeah Lian you know too messy for me too messy for me I cannot stand it and Tom is like yeah I mean if you look at Lian's I mean the plating is Lian's more twin or the Rukoko than the Ressons you know yeah too much is going on

sort of like gales patterns get Oh, you're not even wearing a paddocks today, gale. Wow Wow Sleeps don't help though my right girl I actually believe she's wearing a thousand tiny patterns that just blend together and look like blue to the naked eye So who's next? together and look like blue to the naked eye. So who's next? Broke, the brown team. So Brian serves his red snapper with smoked sweet potato and celery

ac. And Lisa serves Chipotle braised, brisket, dry fruit, and habanero pickled fruit, and granables. And Jamie has his seared chicken breasts with charred citrus grimmolata. Yeah. And Ludo's like, mmm, I'm a big fan of chicken. I know too. And he's like, No time to drizzle it. I mean, that is fine.

It's like, yeah. And they feel like Brian's dish was like just merely reacting to the colors, but was not really embracing the Rococo period. And that actually this was, I mean, the Baroque period. And that Lisa's felt a little too brunchy. Yeah, it just looked like a hash.

Yeah. And they hated the chicken because it was over cut. And Ludo was like, it was polyexecuity. So then black team or blue whatever they are we're cocoa so they serve and all the dishes look amazing and Padmas like gorgeous the serving looks beautiful guys every single dish they could all be like famous people but they're not I'm the only one famous here bye that's definitely um, I saw fat people and I thought pasta. Mmm, delicious. Flesh, Fleshy. Oh, why did I say Fleshy? I was not supposed to say Fleshy

guys all hate me right now. Oh, oh. Just Patmas like, do you realize that your tortelloni is actually exactly equal to an Indian dish called masa plum. Did you know that? And you did a terrible job with it. Not a job, Ringo. Okay. By the way, so I actually like Stephanie,

but you know what I really hated is that she served her tortelloni with, she called her sauce and umami naj. And I was like, I've never even heard of that, but from now I'm gonna call upon my old French speaking ways when I was from high school, and Naj, I think means beach, it's like beach, I think it's beach, or is it like rain, or something like that.

But either way, she's like calling that sauce like an umami, some sort of like, naturally occurring umami, meteorological event of some sort, and that really drove me nuts. Yeah, Stephanie, just needs to perk up a little bit. Yeah, just because she's so depressed all the time. I don't want her to be.

Oh, wait, I think she's so talented. She has some redemption. Naage is the term used in the USA for a flavored liquid used for poaching delicate foods, typically seafood, a traditional naage is a broth, flavored with white wine vegetables and herbs, but it still annoys me because it is cooking something a la nausea translates to while swimming so I'm like Don't don't make your tortillini's swimming in a mommy Don't do that. I don't like it I don't want it a mom. I don't want it. I don't want to go swimming in a mommy swimming pool.

No, it doesn't sound like a good swim for sure. It just like really bothered me. It's like one of those weird things I just got. Well Melissa is like, I thought of luxury. So I was really inspired by nature as well, but she's so luxurious. So I made lobster, climb getri, it's delicious. And then Gregory made a far East Asian dish with some fresh decor, which is basically short ribs.

And they're all very impressed with all of their plating. They're just like, oh, beautiful guys. It just almost like you would have a chance and not blow up on national TV like Malarkey. Somebody give Malarkey this $5, please. like Malaki. Somebody give Malaki this $5, please. So yeah, they all like them and Tom's like, you know, I think the problem with the Stephanie is that the pasta is just just undercooked, you know, it's like undercooked, sort of like like if you have a plan to be a mixologist like my son and I think you're going to just live off that sort of like an undercooked plan if you know what I'm saying, right?

I think we can all agree with that. Wow, so this is basically you've disappointed your father, Pasta. Huh, nice job. Yeah. Yeah. And then Gail's like, you know, I couldn't taste the grapes. I mean, don't give me a wavy gravy if you're gonna give me a supple belly. And Pat might go, huh, wavy gravy, that was a good one Gail. Congratulations, you win the supple belly one, Gail. Congratulations, you win the Supple Belly Challenge, Gail. Maybe Gravy or Zylyte call it Gail's hairstyle.

So they all basically loved their stuff, right? And they love Melissa. Yeah, and Grego said Melissa's could be a Michelin star dish. So then Karen, who looks like she's just been sobbing. She's like, I wish my plates were more beautiful. Ooh. Yeah, she's like, it's not gonna work. It's very brown, it's not gonna work.

I thought it looked delicious. I was like, give me that chicken, even though apparently it wasn't delicious. I thought it looked beautiful. Yeah. So Eric has plated his poached halibut on a black plate. It's very minimalism. It's very off to you. And it looks very nice.

Theo classic elizum. Yes. And he served his poached halibut with a buttermilk minigrette. And so Tom, he perks up. He's like, so, uh, here buttermilk, what'd you use in that buttermilk? Please don't tell me it starts with an X and ends with an M because I do not like that and he's like Xantham I'm like, huh the moment he said Xantham. That's the other killer on this show Xantham and scallops. Yeah, it's not good Let's just think about that for them. Xantham gum guys gross So Jim's like yeah made some goddamn fucking piece of shit snapper fucker snapper the snapper tried to fuck with me I said you're dead stupid alright and then you know put some radish some fennel radish some corn Just about to shit on there just fucking eat it

It's neoclassical. I mean what what what what what else the fuck do you want in this stupid art? Period you know I'm gonna put some columns on it make it look like ancient Rome again. What do you want? Hmm? um And uh who did I put I ignored theirs because of their plate some oh, Jant who's wait? Someone used like a dark blue like clay plate from Target. I got really mad. Maybe Kevin. Well, so Kevin. I said I ignore Kevin's because of that plate. Well, he made poached grilled lamb loin with some sort of olive thing, I think. Yeah, I don't respect your fighting sir. And Karen made braised chicken with chickarees and brown butter on

capers. So Tom is, Tom basically is like, well, you know, here's my thing. I don't like the butter milk and the xantham gum. I mean xantham gum, am I right everyone? I mean, start with the next. What sort of a green in start with the next? Am I right? High five, someone. Um, and Gail's like, I am fascinated by Eric Stisch. I really felt something with his story.

I mean, feelings. Am I right guys? Anyone else feel anything? And he was like, oh, I felt, um. Sorry for Malaki. This is pretty much. No matter what I do, it pops up and it's like, fool, fool. Get out of here, fake girl. It's not a fussy moment. And then bad ones like, and cabins. And they're like hmm the black olive sauce I don't know I didn't like it

I don't know why and Tom goes uh cuz it's not good that's why yeah and then the then there's a lady there she's one of the owners this restaurant called kids man she goes I mean it was a lot of carrot tops that's what I always say about girls patterns it's a lot. Am I right, lady? New lady? Am I right? A lot of carrot tops. Otherwise, no one has lots of celebrities. And Gail's like she's talking about She's talking about Karen's dish and she's like I just don't see how it related to neoclassicism at all That's right Gail. That's sort of like how I'm like,

I don't understand how Oreos and chicken broth relate at all, but you still seem to eat them. I don't know. Well, I felt that way about everything except Erics. Some people suffered artistically, and some people suffered culinary, and some people suffered shoulder sleeves, Ely. Maragale. and some people suffered shoulder sleevesily. Maragell! So, Justice Table. Yes, so our favorite dishes from each group belong to four non-famous people. Brad Malaraki, that's right, you are not famous. Brian Voltagio, your brother is more famous.

Melissa, I don't even know who you are. Are you a PA and Eric? Nili wants more food, food food. Thank you. So Ludo's like, oh, I love the dish of Milwaukee. Colorful, extra on the dish. I want to be support. And Kiel's like, well, I could taste each one of your art.

And Tom's like, yeah, you know, the Renaissance symbolized rebirth. This could do that for you. If you continue to edit yourself in the Larky, it's almost like you were reborn. Look at your skin. You look like an old man, baby, who's just come out of the womb and creeping me up. How did that baby get dentures already? Someone? I've never seen someone who's skin so accurately resembled an egg shell. Wow. So Padma's like, Melissa, did you know right away what you wanted to make or do you just sort of wing it, sort of like, yeah, when she puts on her clothes in the morning?

And Melissa's like, yeah, well, you know, I heard luxury. And so that says lobster to me. And Ludo doesn't love lobster. And Ludo's like, oh, they want on, but also to broth with the wanton. Oh, in the heart. Sounds like, well, I guess, well, standing, well, yeah. And Ludo basically says it was a Michelin star wanton soup and a custom alarky licking over Melissa angrily like what how did you do that fuck you malarkey so Melissa wins and then Padma is like all right thank you winners step to the side losers come on no not you gal're exempt this time. So, you know, Stephanie's prostitutes undercooked.

And then she, I love, I love how bad it is just such a bitch with every little thing. She's like, Jamie, how did this challenge go for you? Which basically just means stupid. It's like, yeah, it's like he's in the bottom. I'm pretty sure you know what went for him. So Jamie, you're's in the bottom. I'm pretty sure he did you know I went for him So Jamie you're back in the bottom over stupid chicken. How do you feel about that? Hey, do you want to heat up a lean cuisine? Are you gonna fuck that up too? And Gail is very insistent about Stephanie's pasta. She's's like you know it was just i wanted it served in the bulls that we could really be

enveloped by sauce yeah so it's like how gale wishes she could be in the bed by bryers ice cream am i right everyone am i right oh karen i want to get to your city dish first but first kevin it's a good thing you have immunity your care would be here all right but you are kevin i mean but you are Kevin. I mean, but you are Karen because Kevin's an asshole. Karen, how do you feel knowing that you're here

but Kevin's not and that he actually won immunity because of Cheetos and Reeners? How do you feel about that, Karen? Thank you, I'm just like, I just wanted to do something simple. This all. And girls like, well, there's a difference between simple and neo-classicism Okay, and Luda says you you did something you did something simple. You were simply idiotic get out of here And then as they go to commercial

Gell is just sitting there with her chin on her hand squinting. I love when Gell does that She's like I'm gonna look like a real badass right now. No matter what Padma has to say about my sleeves. Hmm, look at me thinking deeply. Oh, you're regular rodano over there. And then Kevin just continues to make me fucking crazy. They're in the stew room and Kevin's like, whoa, Padma didn't say much, but blast me. But I did use my immunity to try some new stuff out and to really expand my horizons

and my story of the chapters. So that's pretty much what I felt. And Karen's just glaring at him. Like, if I go be home, if I, a James Beard winner, go home before pig tattoo, I'm going to be pissed. So bad, I was like, a couple of our chefs got distracted by the art and lost the art of cooking.

Get it? Do you hear that alley mong? That was a joke. I can open up for you. Spirit fingers. I'm funny. So Tom was like, well, you have to express yourself through food and if you don't have the cloner chop to pull it off, you'll wind up with dishes that are cartoonish, sort of like

Malarkey's face. When you wake up in the morning, it's like, wow, it's like that fake Jessica rabbit. You know, like, hey, Miss Rabbit, how are you doing? And whoa, it's Brian Malarkey. Like one of the fish and Mario brothers. So, uh, give me that key. So I can open the cage, Malarkey. How about that? So Tom, you know, basically they're like, yeah, the chicken, Jamie's chicken. It's a block of dried chicken, not good. Yeah, and they're talking about lians, lians, dish, and pamas like, a dish, there wasn't a dish. It was a collection of ingredients,

sort of like gales out there, always just a collection of things and sleeves and patterns and spilled soy sauce, disgusting. Yeah. And Gale's like, yeah, Karen's dish was the opposite of neoclassicism. I just like saying neoclassicism over and over because Jen can't say it. Oh, Gale, you're such a neoclassical expert. Wow, I wish you could be an expert on fashion hot high five

Definities in the bottom she gave us a ton of flavor and Tom's like Undercut pasta. I'm gonna say it again undercut pasta flashy pasta There you go, and don't forget she did try to cook Indian food last week. Oh, that's right. What a stupid bitch fire her So Tom's like, all right, chefs, welcome back. No one's going home today for not being artistic. You're going home because you're a shitty chef and you deserve to die. And I hope that you get stunned by poisonous pee and dry spot out of your head. Padma. Well, in case you didn't hear it before, it seems like some of you guys forgot about the art of cooking Anyone? Anyone? No one's gonna laugh

Okay The chef going home is Jimmy buys stupid face. My Tom's like, well, I just want on the way out I want you to not forget that I'm way richer than you and yet I still wear bracelets made out of bunchy cords Okay, thanks. you can go now. So, yeah, we'll see you in last chance kitchen and I think last time you were there you won five times in a row which is pretty amazing but you still actually lost the competition so, you know, have fun with that. Who's there? And that brings us to the end of Toppochefa everybody.

Thanks everyone for listening, we'll be back in the next episode with some shots of Sunsare. And of course, go sign up on Patreon if you want to get involved with our big old Tiger King week, we're recapping all the remaining episodes, episodes, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 this week, we're new episode every single day. So go listen for that on our bonus episode and also on Crapasson demand and we will see you on the next one. Bye everyone! Bye!

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