Watch What Crappens - TopChef: Instant Parma's Gonna Get You

Episode Date: June 16, 2020

We're just days away from the Top Chef: All Stars finale, but first, the final four must make a trip to Parma, Italy and partake in the pleasures of parmigiano-reggiano and prosciutto de parma. It's the fanciest ham & cheese throw down of all time. Did you MEAN to make it into the finals?? See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is Watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is What happens

What Guess what happens when they're so violent, rapins? Kids what happens when they're so violent, rapins? Oh, but they don't mean to rap. Kids what happens when they're so violent, rapins? Hello and welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker of The Real House where there's a kitchen island. And also the Game Brain podcast, go check out and subscribe to both those things And joining me is a man who's so hilarious

He is also the co host of the respricks bachelor's podcast for all your bachelor and bachelor red and bachelor rats who sing about love shows. It's Ronnie Haram. What's going on? Well, how being how's it going? How's your weekend? It was good. I have a sugar hangover. It's so much. I only stuck to my diet for two days out of seven. That's okay. It's a fresh start today. Not really. Maybe tomorrow. Oh.

Well, listen, a sugar hangover. It happens to the best of us. It happens on the weekends. I think I know I had something bad to to eat this I had McDonald's on Friday See I had McDonald's on Friday and then I had Fat cells last night so see I'm partner in arms with you Thanks, yeah, yeah, well diabetes one two and five together Well, it's appropriate that we're talking about food today, because today is our top chef or recap. It's our penultimate episode of the season,

and we will be getting into that shortly. Before we talk about that, we want to give a shout out to some Black owned businesses. So everyone can support some Black owned businesses. Ronnie, why don't you start? Okay, I'm gonna start. I'm good. That was So sorry Well, sorry, you know what I'm running this podcast now. Okay, good old fashion world mode of sharp

I'm gonna start with Valencia key design. Sorry to open up your black business that way. I'm a monster Go support this business. She was a black owned female jewelry business. She was featured on QVC recently. You can find her at ValenciaKey.com or if you're on Instagram, you can find her at Valencia Key Design, beautiful stuff. I'm scrolling through you right now, really, really pretty stuff.

I think we actually gave her a shout out the other day, but it doesn't even matter because why not? Everyone just go check out Valencia Key, and here's another one we actually already shouted out, but we're just gonna give extra love, giving extra love all around today. This is for Avala, all natural skin care. Their products consist of body oil, hand sanitizer, body wash, beard oil, hair oil, CBD body oil, and soy wax candles.

I think we all need at least one of those things. They are awesome. They are, they're awesome. They are available at www.avala.com. That's avalah.com and on social media at avalah.com. So go check them out because everyone needs body wash, right? Yes, and also in that realm is Be Bird Watcher. She does jewelry and watches, Be Ritual Stones, Mind Body Stones. You can find her on Instagram at Be Bird Watcher. And, let me see here, is there a website here?

No, just find her on Instagram, you'll find her stuff. Real pretty beadwork here. And that's that. So today is Top Chef. Top Chef, I just want to say really quickly, if you have a black owned business that you want us to give a shout out to, just email us at watchworkrappens.gmail.com and put in the subject, like black, small business, black owned business,

just black in business. So that way we type in search terms, the way we can read it out of all the other emails and that way we can give it a shout out, okay? Okay. Okay, here we go. What? Whoop chef.

Oh wait, we need one more announcement, Ronnie. Can I make one more announcement? I'm like you had something else in you. Could you hear my pause? So go on, Ben. I forgot to mention this. So we have the official numbers from our fund razor for the NAACP Legal Defense Fund.

We raised $914.69 and then Ron and I both both sort of matched and rounded up with 2000 each. So we donated, the Crapets community donated a total of $2,914.69. So thank you very much to everyone who participated in that. It's really super super awesome. Yeah, thanks you guys It's time to put your money where your mouth is. Yeah Well, put y'all did you mean to put money instead of Parmesan Regionno in my mouth? Did you mean to put your mouth where my money was, Gail?

What did these dollars look like? They had chocolate on them or something? Gail, Padma's new show premieres this Thursday. So I'm definitely going to check that out. I'm very excited. I'm excited for Padma to continue on, even though Top Chef is ending this week. Oh, yeah. Padma will always continue on, even in our hearts, you this week. Oh yeah, Padme will always continue on,

even though in our hearts, you know? Even in like 20 years from now, Padme will still be there. Even if I'm hooked to some machines, she'll be like, did you mean to go beep, beep, beep, like kale backing up in a Kmart? Come on, near, far, wherever you are, Gales hunger will go on.

Am I right? Bless her heart. Bless her heart. This was my favorite set of previous leaves because it featured Kevin prominently going, I'm so excited to go into the finale with the bang. The last four competitors, I have to face Ar feet tough as a old time As a child who was raised on an airplane I understand what it means to aim for the heights Well congratulations to the four of you left you each now have a one-in-four chance to win something furnished by San Pellegrino But before a winner can be crowned, we're sending you to one last journey. And before

you go on that journey, I'd like all of you to appreciate the fact that I'm wearing a giant red jacket full of fur that looks sort of like monster zinc or is that like to call it gal incorporated. In order to truly understand your journey, you need a food tour of the capital, the food culture. Gail, why are you here? This isn't your scene, and I'm not talking about Carl's Jr. Get back into your trailer.

Our friends at San Pellegrino are sending you on a food tour and the Italian capital of culture for a 4202, oh, yes, I'm just gonna say random numbers. And then I'm just gonna say, Parma. or two or two oh yes i'm just gonna say random numbers and then i'm just gonna say parma parma is the inventor of parmesan cheese parmesan ham basically anything gas leaps with it man

exactly times like there's cheese is so special it's protected by the government what do you think of that yeah these ingredients are are considered masterpieces of Italian cooking and you can actually only get them from this region of Italy. I guess that's just what happens when you do something so special and wonderful with your life that an entire government decides to go out of its way to applaud you. Unfortunately, we have not seen that happen to any mixologists, but you know, do you have to dream? You, well, let me see what I'm saying here.

You will go on tour with Chef Lorenzo, the youngest chef in history, to be honored with the Michelin star. And he's pondering with our friends at San Pelellegrino on a special product called Infusion to have spin creativity and new ideas here in Italy. Those same sort of ideas that go hardly arrive when they turn into patterns on Gale's dresses. Wait for it, there's a peacock coming up. Spiner alert. Sorry, should I have said that before? Look at that adorable peacock walk around the corner.

Oh wait, it's just Gail coming back from the water fountain. Katie's scary over there. You know what's funny is I never realized that my good friends Jonathan Waxman and David Chang and Ali Wogg all work at San Pellegrino. I mean, that's why we say our friends, right? In this elimination, you'll be irresponsible for two dishes using two of the most ingredients in the world. No, gale, not mayonnaise and crackers.

Please, let me just get through this peacock lady using prosciutto, de parma and cheese, a Reno, cheese, it's to Parmesan. I forgot it. Just added in later, just added in editing. Add it in post, add it in post. You'll be serving your dishes to the most esteemed chefs in Italy and no gal that does not include the hamburger, no. I want you to be a sponge.

Please suck in every piece of information you can, all right? Now would anyone like to turn that into a gal joke because they're just too easy sometimes? I was gonna use cheese codes, but that's not really appropriate Anyway, it looks like gal is being a sponge to a piece of potato right now, so let's move on Gail did you just pull that out of the ground? The mushroom challenge was last week gal, okay. Okay. Listen, everybody, we'd like to thank Gail, our famous celebrity potato hunter. Gail likes to call them Canadian truffles.

So they go to the cheese factory and we get beautiful shots ofally and big times to say cheese. Yeah, exactly. And Lorenzo, they meet up with this guy, they go to Parma and they meet up with this guy, this Lorenzo, this guy who won all these Michelin stars and he is like super awake. He's been up for four hours or something because he's like,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, two night it's like look down on you nice you know yeah because he keeps going like bonjour non now what do you think what are your ideas but he says it in a way like what are your ideas non-mission in star owner yes seriously so they go into like a parmesan I guess factory or factory it's like a parmesan factory factory the factory all right the parmesan factory which sort of sounds like a Parmesan factory, the older factory. All right, the Parmesan factory, which sort of sounds like a bored on Super Mario Brothers, but it's a lot of like, Ciao, ciao, ciao, ciao, ciao. And they have to put on hair and nuts and blue coveralls and a lady who works there's like,

Parma has been declared this city of gastronomy, but not the city of fashion. And Kevin's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm like, you know what, it wasn't that funny of a joke, Kevin, relax. Given nice,'s not. Finally, a city girl can feel comfortable in. Sorry, I'll get out of this scene now.

Oh, yeah. Look, they made outfits just for you. Blue coveralls. Or as we call them blue covergales. Wow, they made entire outfits out of nappies. I like to see you try to clean some potato out of that thing. So she's like, We make a 80-were spare day,

but only three ingredients, Mech commit and wheat. Yeah, and then Stephanie is like, I've never been to a cheese factory, and you've never been to Italy either you simple tin Sorry, I'll go back to my town now I've been to paradise, but have I ever been to cheese? I'll be in the van everybody if you need me

Bad but just linger around the corner. Just like like mocking them tormenting them from around the side of the door I I I told my dear friend lean away that if she comes Italy we can stand by the door with the Parmesan factory and mark all the stupid people inside It's so fun And Voltage is like oh this is my room. This is where I came from And Voltage is thing is to walk into rooms this episode and say well the aroma is amazing Cuz like every room is like everybody like I wrote that down to you everywhere he walks in cheese like whoa the aroma The aroma is amazing Brian I hope you enjoyed the aroma in this cheese factory your brother Michael said he liked the aroma at an even better cheese factory down the

road that we didn't take you to. The cheese factory, otherwise known as Gailbrath when you're sitting next to her on the plane. So, they basically go into this vault. It's like giant perma giant Parmesan cheese vault. And it's amazing, of course. And the workers pull a wheel down, and they put it on its side, and they put these little, sort of,

like, knifey things in there, and they like, they wedge it open. They cut it open, and so the Parmesan wheel opens up. And so then all the chefs are like, they're like clapping, as if if it was like a magic trick, which admittedly I would do too. But for some reason there was something kind of like, I think it was just me getting mad at Kevin clapping over cheese.

Yeah, Kevin was super excited. God, he was really excited around the dead pig area. Well, okay, Kevin, Jesus Christ, so more rose. So the lady's like, this cheese, I was 15 years old. And I was like, is this lady been in my refrigerator? Why don't I feel so judge? I know, I was like, no, I don't feel so bad about that wedge of Parmesan.

I have back there. And Kevin just keeps eating it. And he is like doing stage eating, you know? We're just like, he's like an extra at Oklahoma, trying out the corn in the back, you know? Yeah, he's like one of the people in like the jury box and night court, you know, it's like okay. We see you extra We see you Yeah, I wrote down Kevin emoting hard over it because he's just eating that part right now. I'm just so aggressively like,

like like like like big eye blinks and like giant chomps of the mouth. Yeah. And Lorenzo's like, oh, this cheese, it's like a boomer. And then Melissa's like, wow, I grew up with that nasty grated Parmesan cheese. This is the opposite. It's been sitting on the shelf 15 years.

It's delicious. So then Kevin's like, oh my God, we gonna give to Chase. Who's gonna cut the chase? Who's gonna cut it? Who is gonna cut the chase? I don't know how to feel about it because that big wheel of Parmesan sure looks like a lolly, but it's not a lolly grandpa.

Well, Paj was just like, all cut the cheese. big wheel of Parmesan sure looks like a lolly but it's not a lolly grandpa Well, Paj was like all cut the cheese. He's like you're gonna cut the chase So then the next destination is yeah, oh you know, I was just saying they're going to go to ham and Kevin's like I'm I'm excited to cook with a Parmigiano Reggiano. We got a whole wheel of it and we got the good stuff I'm like you so like are you like Malarkey now? decided to cook with a parmigiano, regiano. We got a whole wheel of it and we got the good stuff. I'm like, ew. So are you like Malarkey now? Is this what's happening? Malarkey's gone, so his spirit had to like now

infuse Kevin's body. Cause now he's talking like Malarkey too. No, this is the point in the season where nobody is left. And so they really concentrate on their, like you see their personalities and where you know. And people like Stephanie, it's good because she's really funny. She's like, she's got a lot of humor and stuff

which isn't really that evident. Right. A lot of the other episodes of season. But yeah, then it leaves us Vultagio in this guy. Yeah. So then they go to a place called Ruliano where Adina Menzel meets up with them and is basically saying like, Ruliano, where Adina Menzel meets up with them and is basically saying like,

Ruliano is a family-owned business who has been producing top quality prosoto since 1949. I don't know why I wrote that down, it's Ruliano. Because it was so, because she's so the lady who runs marketing. She's an arm-seria from marketing. Welcome to the family-owned business to a top quality from 1949. Never since then, the glasses green, the sky blue, the hammers, so it's like okay, marketing. Thank you for inviting us into this media activation of yours. Thanks for the branding meeting, Sylvia. So then Kevin says pretty much the most annoyingly Kevin thing he could I'm gonna let you do it. I'm gonna let you do this

I can't even bother I can't I can't this place has things Kevin Chaless we found very endearing We're in the middle of nowhere. We have ham available Blondwood Like please stop please stop so they walk into like the ham locker and voltage immediately goes wow The Roman yours amazing Oh He finds a Roma salarious Like

That that that that the body where bat the body works or whatever He's just like rolling on the floor laughing because that guy okay over there laughing, because that guy, okay, over there. So he hates what in the world, man. Oh, hey, Brian, did you check out that new Dave Chappelle special? No, but I did open up a can of peanut butter. Oh. Now guys, I know I've been vegetarian for five minutes, OK, I'm not like marching in any vegan marches or like,

you know, going after any factories or anything like that. But they're chucked with horse bone i mean come on i think even the nicest person has to think wow wait what happened to all the horses wait what what do you mean chucked with horse bones they said that the the i guess they wrap the once they get the meat they wrap it around a horse bone like that's what's in the center of it. Oh, I didn't know.

Now could I have heard that wrong? Yes. Did I rewind it three times? Yes. I don't know. Sometimes I hear things wrong, but I'm pretty sure. Horses do die, Ronnie. They do die on their own.

So you think they're just waiting around, you know, for their huge, their huge factory for horses to die? No, I think they're out there killing horses. I don't like it. Okay. I think listen, listen. Have you ever been to the Santa the Santa Anita racetrack? I think I was dying like every single day. I think there's a I think there is a Santa Anita racetrack to Italy pipeline that's going on. Well, let's pursue their bones bones that's what I'm saying God Wow this is this horsebone tastes untowelted enough to live to die so gross I don't like it. Santa need to actually does have a they do have a horse problem like their horses keep dying it's that's a little fucked up I think it's Santa need to

There's a lot of horse abuse they were gonna have that show on HBO about horse racing Wait actually did it come out? No it's gonna be a Michael Man show with I think Al Pacino or something like that They were gonna have that show on HBO about horse racing. Wait, actually did it come out? Maybe it should come out. It was gonna be a Michael Man show with I think Al Pacino or something like that, maybe not Al Pacino, but yeah, it was gonna be, they were gonna film it, I think, up there at that race track, right?

And then they just horses kept on. Horse is being made. Horse abuse. Horses, right? So, um, let's nice to draw horses on my trapper keeper. I was one of those girls growing up. You were, well that's so funny to me.

Horses! C'mere shoes, here comes one right now. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellaside. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity few, from the build-up, why it happened,

and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements

denying any bad blood, how much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can lace an ad free on the Amazon Music or Wonder Yeah. Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney.

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And Kevin just immediately starts man-splatting us. None of these people are like top level chefs who have ever had Pajudo before. He's like, um, you should always slice it and use it as he is Don't cook it. Don't do anything else to it am I right? I'm like They know how to handle this Yeah, there's an aroma of hazelnuts sweet miss to it Well the aroma joke That's great material there. Can I borrow that?

He's a lot of aroma. So the lady's like, never, ever cook it. I'm like, oh, can't wait to watch Kevin cook it. You know that's coming up. Well, actually, when he said, never, ever, when he said, never, well, she said, he basically said, you never cook it right. And she's like, yeah, and you don't want to do that. And then I was like, oh, I bet he's not going to cook it and he's getting trouble for it.

I was excited. I was hoping that would happen. Yeah, I think that is what happens, right? Yeah. So then Voltaal, she was like, I love the restraint. Any aromas anybody wants to talk about? Amalus is like, we're used to hammer the states. It's overly salty and overly smoked. It's disgusting.

When I was a kid, I would just take salty ham and cover it with that graded parmesan from a plastic jug. Man, life was hard. Melissa's really dissing her mom's whole childhood, you know, feast. Seriously, so Kevin's talking about how he starts talking about already his inspiration. He's like, I would love to find a fresh like a pork, roast it in Carve it and serve it with ham. Ham on ham. Like wow, what a novel idea that you haven't done every single challenge. What's next? Are you gonna turn it into a ball? No kidding. It's like Kevin's own special little section of porn hub.

Ham on ham. So let's go to Parman, do some shopping. Yeah. So they go touring the city and it's, of course, gorgeous. And Stephanie just gets lost in a vegetable market, which is really cute. I know. And then Valtagia is like, well, I'm excited. The quality here is so high.

Obviously, I don't speak the language, but I can recognize ingredients. This is cat food. You know what I have to do? I can't. I don't speak the language, but what I can do is I can figure out what the food is based on is... Wait. A Roma? Oh, you're all the little ones. It's amazing to finally see a city that's built around ingredients like have you never heard of Cadilland? You're in great. Oh, I guess you've never been to a smart and final.

So Stephanie is a super inspired and She is talking about how she wants to make a sweet cabbage because it has a cabbage funk to it Okay, this is the time where I just start writing stuff down. I've written a model on it too. As I read through it, I don't need to have written this. Yeah, it was actually kind of like, they're walking around these markets. They look beautiful.

I mean, I was, God, it was like, it was kind of like food porn. And Stephanie wants to do a vegetable forward dish, even though it's a very meat-centric region. And so she's talking about that. And then she's like, well, I'm lost as he said she just gets lost and then Kevin ruins beans because he's like I love beans and there's a dish called pasta fagiole. It's pasta and beans It's like yeah, I mean

It's like There's a dish called like spaghetti and meatballs. You may have heard of it. It's like, there's this. It's like, there's this. There's this. This is called spaghetti and meatballs. You may have heard of it. It's like, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they serve it at like ball of garden. It's wonderful. My dishes are very personal, very, very personal. Of course, he would go for beans because if he's not gonna make a ball,

he's gonna have round things in his food. Yeah, he went from a meatball to Vastafogel. I was like, his ministry taken, what's going on? He's like, I feel like my dishes are really personal. I would agree, hack. I remember my grandma, my grandma, whose house was the home of country captain Airlines. Remember that?

So he's like, hey, Stephanie, oh, just to my thing, where I can't read anything on these labels. And she's like, yeah, that's cat food. Crescendo, I'm crushing it over here. So today I've served you a fancy feast. It's actual fancy feast from Italy. Megan, to a baller, you're out, Leezer. the lead. Megan, to a baller, you're out, Leezer.

So Melissa decides that she's going to blend Chinese and Italian together, and she's going to do a Chinese exosauce, and that has cured me to net. Of course, I might be scared. Exo, right? Yeah. And she's like, I want to push myself. And then they show her standing in front of a scooter. And I just feel bad because her dreams were to ash

last week if her like winning the money to get a scooter and drive around the countryside with a hot chick on the back. Oh yeah, you're right. And Brian Valtagio, I thought there was gonna be a quick fire today. So that way he could like, you know, manifest his dream of finally winning a quickfire, but they just The editors were pretty cruel to Brian Valtasio because they basically tease it along all season long

He was just looking for his first quickfire win and then he just never does it just like no that dream will never come to fruition Yeah, and his whole like I've this is I've done this more than anybody else. I have done more challenges on top chef than anyone else like I'm gonna win damn it I just kind of want him not to win just because of that because I feel like he feels like he's done it the most so he Desserts it the most I actually don't get entitlement from him. I just feel like he he feels like You know I'm getting more of a vibe like hey, I I've done this a lot, I have all this experience, so like I should be equipped to do this, but I don't think that he's,

I feel like actually I'm getting more entitlement from Kevin, who's like, it's my responsibility to be in the finals. You know? But either way, I mean, I like Brian Voltage, do I actually do the like- The responsibility to hand lovers everywhere that I'm in the finals But well all the grandfather she run airlines think if I don't win this All right chefs, we have one more stop today. We're going to

Michelin Saras, come on We would stay overnight and tomorrow you cook there and Kevin's like this is like the old days we sleep at your restaurant oh did I say restaurant I'm in business class and grandpa is airlines so they get to the hotel and the chef owner Massimo welcomes them he's like we have beautiful surprise for you and then they go down to this creepy dark seller where there's just dead pigs hanging everywhere wrapped up Beautiful surprise for you. You are the dinner. Goodbye. The Blair Pig project So downstairs is

Kulatotis ibello, which is the most rare and prestigious ham in the entire world more prestigious than you get like can you believe it The seller is seven by the way the seller was 700 years old. That's crazy. Well, that's crazy, okay? That seller is from 1320. That's like the middle ages, okay? Okay. Kevin's like, this place is fascinating. They're ancient and for some of the bad chefs in the world. I'm an airplane. I had visions of little, like, like, little Kevin, like doing the airplane thing, zooming around, knocking all the hams off, but they're like, someone get this little boy out of the cellar.

My daddy and sister, Mommy, you're gonna pee. He's looking at all the hams like they're lollipops. I like these lollipops. No, no, that was meant for Mario Battali. Oh, good. So they have a good old-fashioned ham tastin'. Yeah, they eat a meal under a ham ceiling impact. There's like a ceiling of ham over them.

And Kevin is just doing his Parmesan cheese thing Where he's he's just eating it so dramatically There is a big flavor Mmm, I'm gonna make a few more Mmm, yeah, I'm gonna make a few more Let me breathe in Mmm, mmm, mmm I'm breathing from my mouth, my mouth air

That is now wrapped around that ham Anyone have a glass I can swirl this ham around in? It's really special to experience these things that most American chefs never get to try, but I guess I did now. So anyway, I want my dinner, daddy. He closes his eyes while he eats it. Oh, God.

And then they start playing porn music. Yeah, it's a classic problem of they love doing that. So they're having all this like amazing food and they have this like, ravioli and a peasant bladder that looks cray cray but like amazing. And they start to like reminisce. It's like the end of the big brother season

when they have to fill time. So they have to be like, hey, remember that one time that thing something happened? So Melissa, they're talking about their favorite moments of the season. And Melissa loved the challenge where they went up to Big Bear and they like ziplined and all that stuff.

And then Kevin is like, I like that Jonathan Gold Challenge. I like that. That was the first big ball I made for this season. I really set the tone. And I just can't believe how many people he really touched. Wow. I really enjoyed bringing in our family because watching my sister

Mick Tech Resomptfish was like whole areas and it proves that I'm not the biggest loser in the family. And Melissa tells us that basically, you know, her her family would be so proud of her if she won and that like since the first season of Top Chef when her dad used to basically not approve of her being a chef or a lesbian and now he actually goes for a restaurant and says that he's proud of her. So when Melissa started saying that stuff, I got really nervous that she was gonna get chopped. I was like, oh, oh, like they give us a lot of, they give us a lot of close calls with

Melissa with these family flashbacks. Yeah, they've got to make it kind of dramatic, you know, because she's just going to win this whole thing. When they got it, I hope she does. I hope so. Also, you've said lesbian, which I really liked, because that's like a lesbian, but that's a lesbian. It's a lesbian. It's a lesbian.

Yeah, lesbian. So now it's the next morning. They're all waking up at this restaurant. And did you mean to wrestle Gail Simmons out of her beauty rest look at Gail walking in the backyard. Gail is officially owned by NBC Universal. Welcome Peacock. I hope everyone enjoys NBC Universal's new streaming service called Gail. Also known as Peacock. He just has to pay it a few free dose of mump. We'd like to introduce you to Gail, the restaurant's resident peacock and the only peacock in all of Italy that actually eats potatoes.

So they're watching the animals from their windows at this restaurant farm thing and Stephanie's like wow look at those pigs. You know if I would if I had a farm it would be a no-kill farm that's for sure can't wait to cook can't wait to cook these pigs. Exactly yeah she's she's feeling very happy and she says that when she cooks happy her food tastes better so that's good. Not me I find that misery lends itself more to good food and happiness when I'm happy I just have a salad. It's being miserable that tastes delicious. That's beyond us people. That's a very good point. So now they go

to the kitchen, now they're in the kitchen and they have three hours to prep. They're the premium secundi and so now they're starting to cook and Steph, she's gonna be making a Pajudo ragu for the pre-me, so that's exciting. Yeah, sure is, sure. And then, sure is exciting. Actually, what's funny is that right before I watched Top Chef, I myself also made a ragu. So I was feeling, I was actually feeling really happy that I like pre, like I tended to my craving ahead of time.

Like, I was like, I was like, ooh, I'm watching this. I have a craving for ragu, but I just made it and ate it. Wow, that worked out really well. Okay, that's all settled. This show really does brainwash me every time I watch it. I went straight to Whole Foods and got some fresh pasta. You know how you can buy that? Yeah.

Fresh pasta, oh my god, I ate it all. Okay, so Voltageus making something with a guitar. Why am I saying that? It's called Chattara, which is the only pasta that's named after a thunder cat, which I think is really cool. Oh, well there you go. He's like, I can't think of a better dish to showcase the fondue. It shows a technique of aerating the cheese and I was like, oh no, don't try and pull some foamy shit out here

I don't think they're gonna like that. No, and so he is he starts like he's the first one to break into the Parmesan And so he's like cutting the cheese open and he's like it's like a lot harder and he's like They make it so easy. Oh, if it weren't for this hilarious aroma coming out I'll be crying right now. And they just cut to Michael Voltage. They're just like touching a Parmesan with his finger and just splits in half like an English muffin. Oh, I guess it's just easier for me.

Like you got the change, you got the change. You got the change. Um, and Melissa is rolling out an annellini that she's gonna serve in brodhaw and her segundi is gonna be scallop. Yeah, and she's gonna make an Asian twist with Japanese ingredients and stuff like that. So she's also working on a thing called a raft, which I hadn't heard of before. I learned something new, but like a raft is like a ball of something that makes a broth clarified or something and something else.

You don't get that. I didn't know what it was either. It's like a thing now. That takes 45 minutes to do. Kevin is doing a white bean filled pasta. And he's like, I have two types of Parmesan and I'm using the way inside and the phrase on top is gonna be amazing. And there's just flies landing all over Kevin's face during his scenes, which cracks me up. I mean, there's flies in this whole thing. But it's just like, they're all over his face. Yeah, there was like a shot of the judges. I mean, I'm flies in this whole thing, but it's just like, they're all over his face.

Yeah, there was like a shot of the judges later on. I think it was Evan Funke, who was just like talking, and there was like a moth just like fluttering around his face. I know, Padma's all west worlds. She doesn't even feel them crawling on her eyeball and stuff. 54 minutes. And yeah, Kevin's just again saying this bullshit stuff. That's like, I'm gonna make I'm putting Parmesan and I'm putting it Parmesan way in the

Raffioli and fresh Parmesan on top. It's going to be very complimentary to the beans, daddy. The most difficult part is kicking the pork cope because it's challenging to get that exactly right. And there is no shortage of talent left including me. I won lots of challenges this season and I expect to make it to the finale. It's my responsibility. So yeah, so yeah, there's just more cooking. And then at one point Melissa turns and she turns and asks Steph a question, which is like the most Stephanie question you could ever ask Stephanie. She goes, Hey, Steph, why are you going with cabbage today?

It's like, it's like, it's a question that like she goes to Drs office. So, uh, why are you going with cabbage today, Stephanie? Yeah, as Stephanie's like, well, well cabbage is a super humble ingredient. So she just having prosciutto in the cabbage chunks. And the Melissa's like, well, well, cabbage is a super humble ingredient. So she just shoving prosciutto in the cabbage chunks. And the Melissa's like, oh, shit. Oh, I asked a silly question. And now look, I don't cut it often. But if I do, you can bet it's going to be in the kitchen. She broke her raft.

She broke her raft and asked to start over. So I was like, very panicked, but they didn't really give it a start over. So I was like very panicked, but they didn't really give it a commercial break, so I knew it would be okay. So then Kevin's like, the most difficult part of the Sakundi is cooking the pork copa. It's not that hard to cook, especially if you're someone like me who's got a pig tattoo on their arm, but it is challenging to get it exactly right. You know, I want a lot of challenges this season and I fully expect to make it to the finale. guess you just said that part didn't you yeah and probably said a lot of special things to make this right you know a lot of chefs on here

have had a uh... uh... a pig in some form tattooed on them but have they had a pig that is very close to a confederate flag because that's very important okay that's two things he'd go does he have a confederate flag yeah he has like uh... uh... school with. Does he have a Confederate flag? Yeah, he has like a school with, he has a school wearing the cap and the cap has a Confederate flag on it. Someone tweeted it.

Tweeted it about us. I was like, damn. No, Kevin. Nope, not into it. Not into it. Not into it at all. No, sir. It was some article about, wow, look at all his tattoos. He's got such amazing tattoos. I'm looking at over and I'm like, great, that's a great, great tattoo

Kevin. Thanks. Yep, not into it. Don't like it. Remove that shit. So then, so anyway, now the judges enter. So the judges are showing up and Gail is back in her patterns. Proud to say, I'm sure you notice the two Ronnie, right? Yeah, she's the peacock. Yeah, polka dots teal and black color blocking It was it was a full Gail peacock explosion. It was like after denying me like the second half of the season her terrible patterns She came and like the Oscar dress of terrible patterns It was like gold dots and like ruffles and you know the C3 still cuz like oh Dale you didn't forget me after all. Thank you.

So now the judges sit down and then the chefs are finishing up their stuff and and Melissa's brought this fine and Padma. She's she's she's she sits down and of course she's just so eager to show up that she speaks Italian. She's like, Massimo, Grazie, it's belissimo! That means, thank you, it's beautiful. Massimo just wanted to say, Snickeru and those Snickeru and that Snicker's Gail,

so I just wanted to watch Gail look at all excited. Even in languages, she doesn't understand. She can still get excited for good old-fashioned Snickers bar. Am I right, Gale? Ha-ha-ha-ha. Antipastel and Gweenie Lasagna, Torre delineia. Am I right, Italian chefs? She's like, well, I'd like you to meet your guest,

one of your guest judges, Evan Funky. Thanks, Neroma. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, So Stephanie serves her fetichini with Pajudo and Raghu and just finished with Parmesan and Padma's eating and she's like Or as we say in English Less M's less M's and it's on a different note, but you get the idea a Massimo M's less M's and it's on a different note, but you get the idea. A. Massimo. Look at chaos. You're trying to do it.

But that ragu was coming out of her nose. That's her heart. And then Melissa made a chicken, an Alini with an Asian twist. And the guest Josh funky is his name. Ivan, Evan funky. Sorry. I know someone named Josh. It's Evan funky. He doesn't even look at them. The guest Josh Funky, is that his name? Evan Funky. Sorry, I missed someone named Josh Funky.

Evan Funky. He doesn't even look at them. He's like, just leave your dishes and go, leave it, go. Yeah, he's like, so he thinks the brodo is interesting and Gail really chased the parminate. And Tom does one of his like, his weird understated comments where you don't know if he's praising it or not. He's like, you know, Melissa, it's a good plate of food. It's a good plate of

food. Does that mean it's, does it live up to expectations or is it sort of underwhelming? I guess that's for you to find out. It's just a good plate of food. And Gail makes a very Gail comment. You can really taste the Parmesan. Like, yes, gal. And funky is like, it was a very delicate. And then Stephanie, so they start talking about Stephanie now. And one of the guys like, well, you know, the flavor is strong or sweet, but she did incredible job mixing the two. And Del goes, I love that she used Pajudo in her ragu. It has such a robust savouriness and Padma just goes, you would say, Spizio's a dummy. And then a lady judge is like,

it is like touching the capella Coocian with no colors, but very brave, very, very brave. Exactly, exactly. What? Very believe! Very, very believe! Exactly! Exactly! So, uh... Anyway, let's see who else comes out with some spitsios! Am I right, Italians? Am I right, Spitsios? Gail, try to say it after me. Okay, take the tape out of your mouth.

Okay, now put your lips together and say spitsios!. Okay, and try not to spit on it over the table. Thanks. So, Brian and Kevin are next with their bleemies, and I just wrote Voltacio has a ton of foam. Oh, I hate foam. I hate it. It's disgusting. It looks like spit on the sidewalk. Stop serving it. So they come out and Kevin has like his the Parmesan and he is like going up to everyone and like aggressively taking you think like a giant spoonful of Parmesan just dumping out on everyone's dish and he's doing it this way where he's like crashed over like excuse me one moment I'm just gonna get in there right now okay there we go it's like okay like we know you're there and everyone the team judges dude like seriously this is gonna take forever it's gonna make And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been- And everyone's been-- And everyone's been- And everyone I would have given Gail's head a shake, okay? And she sounds so annoyed and she goes, hi

Brian. It's like so annoyed that she just got cheesed all over. And he's like, whoa, I'm in a tutorial with soft egg yolk and Parmesan Fondue de la. your, you hold your, you hold your, and Gevin's like, and how made you a Raviyola with Cannelli Beans and the Parmesan way and Raghu of Beans top with the 36 month red cow Parmesan. Like, you know what, you don't have to elaborate that, yours was top with the 36 month red cow Parmesan. They all have the 36 month red cow Parmesan, you all have the same wheel.

Unless I'm wrong. Mm. So Tom was bothering me, he kept saying that as if his Parmesan was somehow different from everyone else's. Yeah. It's western hit barren cows. I have the red cow. Red cow Parmesan, okay. So they start eating half a red cow.

But did he just shave one of those mini bonbels? Is that what he did? So I don't know if you noticed this by the way because we just love as already previously mentioned We just love pointing out chef tattoos as Evan Funke was eating. I don't know if you notice he had a little tattoo on his on his like form right by the wrist that said parma Not the worst offender is it's certainly not as bad as the Mizon Plus, that what his name was. Remember that guy? Loving.

Oh God, Mizon Plus. Mizon Plus was the worst one, and Hosea with his baking tattoo is pretty bad too. I have to say. Yeah. Hosea also had the Mizon Plus. Who was the Mizon Plus? Brother Loving or something like that? Brother. Oh, brother love. Brother love on who was the music on plus brother loving or something like that brother. Oh brother love

He had the music on plastic But I've been funky is just a parma like yeah, I've been to parma. I know about parma I know that she's and I know about pursuit and I cook both of them and yes, I do amazing things with them But as a reminder, parma, parma, parma guys. So Tom thinks that Brian had the best pasta out of everybody, and the lady's, like, the lady he just said that the other two were so special, was like, hmm, I didn't appreciate the parmesan or treatment. It's a very artificial form. Lit cow.

Come on. Okay, well, as the only person at this table whose name is automatically auto corrected to Parma, man, I asked how much you think? Because by the way, by the way, that's true. Every single time I try to type in Padma, it says Parma. I don't know why my phone loves auto-crack department parma, but it does. You're fancy. I think auto-correct really shows how stupid the person with a phone is, you know?

Because like if I put fa, you're probably says, like fa-frerelli or something, your mind's like fart. There's only two words that my phone will not auto-correct. Te, instead of the, and if I write birthday, Yeah, by the way. The only two words that my phone will not auto correct. Te, instead of the, and if I write birthday, which happens a huge amount of times, it will not switch that to birthday. Oh, and also for some reason, I wind up often typing in the holly woof instead of holly wood, and it will not change holly woof either.

You need a dog, so it's telling you. Yeah, it's telling you. Yeah, I tell you. So yeah, so anyway, they hate that Kevin Wayne and put up all that Parmesan on their dish and there's one time guy who's like, Brian's dish. Oh, they also didn't think Brian's was very good either. They thought it was fine, but this one guy was like, Brian's dishy devoid of any love or passion dishes flat and Tom goes whoa And he goes yes completely flat lifeless dead the ceased got up. Yeah, no, okay, then And Gail's like, you know, I think that Kevin's beans and Broto were actually quite beautiful

Oh, please this is the woman who thinks an arrangement of M&M's is quite beautiful too. But it was a pinch of salt too much and she's like, he did not need a heaping table spoon of cheese on this very Parmesanie plate. It's like a... I love it, Pomegranate. It's so furious. It cracks me up. I know, it's very parmesan in place

Did you mean to add more parmesan to a parmesan? So I got worried because we go back to the kitchen and Stephanie's like I feel very good about mine I mean it went amazing, but I have a whole other dish But you know what it's good. I'm having a really, really good day. I was like, oh, she's done. She's done. So Melissa and Stephanie served next. Some Melissa serves a scallop with the prosciutto

and the exo sauce and Stephanie serves the cabbage that's been braised with prosciutto and funtuta and chestnuts. Yeah. And so then the chefs are talking about it. Did you like my list, guys? Did you like the dish that Melissa gave you? Or you just completely idiot.

He really liked the Chinese mix, like the ad in the Chinese saltyness and chili and butter and all that. Padams like, I was afraid it would ever power the prosciutto. But I didn't. Yeah, you know, when she said she was making an exosauce, I was afraid it would just overpower everything. Much like all the shoulder pads that I was wearing this season, am I right? Am I right? Bless her heart. And Funky's, like the cabbage was my favorite. The parma between the leaves.

Now that was smart. Anybody looking at my wrist? Anybody? Parma. I've been here before. Parma. Parma. Parma. Yeah, I get all things that Stephanie's base are doing some of her best cooking today. Really? That's that's so funny. It's like I was telling my dear friend, Alie Wong, you're doing some of your best comedy today too. Sort of like the same thing, right? Just less famous. And then back in the kitchen, Kevin is checking his fork

and he's like, oh buddy. Yeah, yeah, it's absolutely perfect. I want to slap somebody. Yeah, and Brian's like being a maniac with his plates. He has like all his plates down. And he's just like touching them as if he's doing some sort of like weird survivor challenge. Like if you're like the last one touching your plates,

you're eliminated. Yeah. I was like, well, if you's doing some sort of like weird survivor challenge like if you're like the last one touching your plates you're eliminated Yeah I was like well if you've made it this far. This is the one you don't want to mess up So they go to serve and Voltajio is serving his bass wrapped in power in the parma ham And then Kevin is giving a fresh pork a choppa. Oh, no fresh pork kapa and heirloom apples, which is probably the same thing. And he's like, Pork on pork now that makes me happy. Yeah. And Gale's like, you know, I, you know, I love the apples. I love the apples sauce. Oh, congratulations, Gale. You have the palette of a kindergarten. Wow. So glad we brought you along. And then Padma is just over there looking each individual finger for some reason. Yeah, she has like the sauce on her pinky

Like she's so reluctant to even like even dip a spoon into it She's like I'm just gonna put my pinky finger in it because maybe some of my own natural pinky flavor will improve this awful apple sauce But the challenge was to use prosciutto and and you know he just used it as an afterthought. If you ask me, I mean it's just an afterthought. What is it raining outside and you're trying to protect the bass? What's going on? And Evan's like, and he also sliced the Prasudot very very thick and oddly enough into the shape of the American Airlines logo, I don't get it. American Airlines logo, I don't get it. And the guy who's harsh is like, yes, it's just too tough and it doesn't invite you to eat it.

And the lady goes, yeah, it's not so good. It's like going into the system chapel and hearing it is closed for reconstruction. And then you walk out and you get run over by the Pope mobile. They liked Brian's dish. Actually, I guess they were talking about Kevin's dish. Okay, take all those mean things we just said and apply them to Kevin. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. I then move on to Brian. I started with Brian. Sorry. I was wrong. So they move on to Brian's dish. And by the way, while they keep missing Kevin's dish, Tom's eyes are popping out of his head.

He's like, whoa, these people are really, really mean. Because they're like, it's not a good, it doesn't invite you to eat it. His tattoos are still a bit. Well, but also all their critiques, but positive and negative, and we saw this last week too, are so like, poetic. It's like a lady that you invite to go to a dance and she comes the most beautiful red dress, but you're not only wearing tanker-tapping shorts, huh? You have to think that with respect, huh? Oh, so they move on to Ryan.

And Pat was like, well, his dish I liked better. Yeah. He's basically the gal of gal in Nilo. You know, it's not great, but at least it's better than a Nilo. Am I right gal? Kind of makes me want to make a better meal put in a box and mail it to this meal So then the same guys like good the technique about no soul. Yeah, I'm like damn I'm like, well, this is crazy. Now I know it must feel like to be my son hearing all my criticisms.

I've learned something. Can't wait to go home and hang my son. I mean, hug my son. Can't wait to go hug my son. So then, yeah, and then Evan feels like the Pesto was just not aggressive enough. He wanted to be like big garlic, big basil, just in your face, but it was like to

to subtle. So yeah, and you can never tell what that funky guy's gonna say because he's like they were up against a very difficult challenge. It was a beautiful experience. Like, oh, how are you coming out with that? You're so grumpy, geez. I thought he was gonna be lacking their all terrible. They just sat and take it off the air. Well, one thing that I wanna say is that I'm sure this would taste a lot better if I didn't have a small moth flying around my head

at the moment. Constructing my gizzlets. I'd just like to say, Amrop. That's why I was reading my tattoo upside down. So I'm gonna read my tattoo. It says, still famous. Wow, what an honor. So they go back to the steward,

the chefs go back to the steward when there's like plates set out for them. I'm Melissa goes, wow, more meat. That's my favorite, meat, meat, meat. It's like a quarter piece of the porno shopping here, meat on meat. So at the judges table, Tom's like, you know, I thought the food tonight was across the board very good, except for half the food, which was actually not very good at all, but the other half was really good. Well, there were two chefs who stood out out the one with the bad tattoo and the

peacock over there but out of the out of the chefs who are competing i would say that melissa and staff needed the best and something like me yes i said you i know it's strange that's what person doesn't have a dollar to throw it her head? Now, play the saxophone or something or in that dollar. Now, you do realize that you two are in the finale, so take a moment and enjoy that. Do it.

Do it. Now, watch it. Yep. Take a moment now. If you would like to direct your eyes at Kevin's face while he pretends to smile while he is crushed, visibly crushed right now. There he is. Look at that face. Look at a crumbling. Oh, it's really good. It's crumbling like that Parmesan. He just heaped on top of our plates. The more we get you to stand here

and relish your win, the more we get to watch Brian and Kevin slowly break down in front of our eyes. So I don't know what Brian is more shocked about. The fact that he's in the bottom too, or that Michael has actually just re-entered the competition and is already in the finals. Welcome back, Michael. Oh, and your sisters here too. Wow, that's amazing. So both to two out of three of Altagios are guaranteed to spot in the finals already. Wow. Is that a croissant fish? Did you aerate it? Then you win croissant fish, lady. So Gail's like, you know, I love the prosciutto in that ragu. It's like a flavor I hadn't had in that way. And trust me, she's had all the flavors, if you know what I'm saying.

And Tom's like, well, fantastic. And Frankie's like, what stood out to me was the cabbage. Cabbage can be overpowering and salty sometimes, but you showed a delicate hand. Sipek. Tacky-ler. And then Poundmar just turns and goes, GAL, what did you think about Melissa's dishes today?

Did you even have time to taste it before you scarfed them all down? Well, the first course was presented in such a respectful and elegant way. I loved every last slurp. And she means it. She means her favorite song is Every Slurp You Take. It's a weird-out parody off of the police. Didn't really get much traction except with Gail. It's like, what's that music?

Can we turn it? That can we turn down the slurp of fire we're trying to judge a TV? No, it's Gail. Every slurp Gail takes. Every slurp Gail makes. Every slurp in her face. Every slurp gal takes every slurp gal makes every slurp in her face every slurp with a spoon Gales eating you That was comedy alley long

And badminton was like wow the broth was just so clear with such depth and Evan as a guest judge this falls to you and he's like well, this is an extraordinary place, but the shining star today He's still with us. I'm here. I'm just taking a little more quickly. Barma man. Melissa Oh, well Melissa, this is your third win in a row. You're really on a roll. No, Gail. There's not real rolls here. She just on a roll Come down Don't have rolls So did you see how furious Kevin looked? Oh my god, yeah, she was his eyes like Like a light like an evil light came on but behind his eyes and he was trying to smile

But it was really tight and he started turning bright red. Yeah, he was right. It was like that. Like what we saw at restaurant wars, he's been able to keep like a lid on it all season long, but it was coming out right there in that moment. That like that anger that he keeps throttled up inside. Yeah, rebottled up. Um, so Melissa wins, yeah. So Melissa wins, yeah. So, having us like Brian, Kevin, you gave us so much in those plates. But one of you will be going, how am I?

I'm on mine. And Evan's like, Brian, out of all of you, your pasta was cooked the best. But when you take a 36-parm, there are the assault crystals that pop. And you know, when you aerate them,parm, there are the assault crystals that pop, and you know, when you aerate them, you just... Sorry, I...

Yeah, no, that's right. No, I just cannot, but look at my parma tattoo. It's just so good. That's one thing that'll never be aerated, my tattoo. Sorry. So, Pat was like, but yeah, a lot of the Italian chefs said there's no heart and soul in this dish now I know that that was a hard thing for me to relate to you, Valdagio. It was very difficult. So let me say it again You have no heart or so if there was a piano here and there was a childhood been taking piano lessons

They would fail because there's no heart and soul to understand you understand what I'm saying Kevin? If Tom Hanks was in big, he would never have had that beautiful moment with the old person because there's no heart and soul to play the giant piano with. Do you understand? Let me guess, as a child you learn piano by playing chopsticks instead, am I right? Never quite figured out the heart and soul thing. I know that's very difficult to not have the heart or soul. Or was that like to call them the Michael Valtagia when Crescent fish sister, heart and soul. So I guess that means, I don't know what you are.

But you don't have it. And he looks like he's gonna cry. He's like, oh, wow. Well, that did come from the heart because I wanted to take a dish I enjoy and try to push you on the lobe with food and do something new. I'm trying not to cry. I know it was a devastating critique and I was just telling my dear friend Jonathan Waxman about how they said that you don't have heart or soul, how devastating. I would never even want to hear those words

again. I'm in terrible that they would say that you have no heart and so, Brian. So Tom was like, well, moving on to Kevin. Uh, Kevin, there was a lot to like and Kevin's like smiling way too hard. Like he's gonna lose his molars. Yeah, he's getting the molarky monkey chimes. Yeah, he does have that like kind of serial killer smile. Yeah. And he was like, I mean, there was just so much cheese

on top of every raviolo. And that's all we got. He's like, stop the process. The gale Simmons just complained about two much cheese. Wow, something is going on in this Italian seller. And the guest judge, funky, it's like it was delicious, but because the palm was too salty, it completely ruined the whole thing. So, like, Anne Voltageau, your fish dish was a masterpiece. It was very soft, unsoft, though. And I missed the textural component. Yeah, and then Evans, like, yeah, and the Pesto fell flat.

Like, it's needed garlic I need to be more assertive, you know So then Padma then turns the cabin and says I love that you did parking apples What an original idea to use with pork parking apples never been done before I'm so glad you did it The only thing that was missing was it being in ball shape It was a deconstructed ball. You might notice that I had some beans and I messed up and an apple. Okay, called deconstruction people, but whatever.

I love that you brought this to this table in this place. You brought a very simple pairing to a legendary restaurant. I love that you did that, so we could laugh about it afterwards. But it did eat dry and tough. And then we get some classic Tom's explaining where he's talking to professional chefs, but he talks to them like they're fucking idiots who have never been in a kitchen.

He's like, well, you know, the problem was, when you take pork and you sear too much on one side, when you over sear, and then you let it rest, the juices don't go all the way back out to the edges of the meat because they're so seared. Do you understand? And Kevin's like... Aaaaah! Now, I know that seems like sort of like a very basic lesson that you guys all should have mastered, but you also did just serve us applesauce, so I'm not really sure what level of competency we're talking about here.

So, we just want to put that out there. And the prosciutto was an afterthought and Kevin just cocks his head Like you look a mlarkey headcock like excuse me come again Come again, and he's about to burst out of his body, right? Well today's cook went really well and I was happy with it and they've had my raises her eyebrows really big like Kevin's going there. It was the most so full moon I have made since I have been here. And Padma raises her eyebrows again. I'll be the judge of that poor person. I love that they just keep cutting to Padma raising her

eyebrows. I took a poll of our dear friends at San Pellegrino and five out of five San Pellegrino friends said that they hate your food so they're there. And Kevin's like, well, I was happy with it and at that point in my life, that is all I really care about. Okay, you know what I care about? You getting at my face. Yeah, I'm happy. I was like, okay, well thank you so much. If only a food had that much fire inside By the way, I can't stand when he said today's cook went really well cook like I hate it something happens in board games too when people talk about teaching a board game

They say all right is everyone ready for the teach and like I just can't stand both the teach and the hook It's not the proper use Yeah, that's what they say that's how was the cook? How was the day? How was the cooking? How was the cooking? That's what it should be it just really it's a be in my bonnet, okay? All right chefs all right judges. Okay, there's stupid chefs are gone This is the part that I hate when I have to talk to Gail

Okay, Gail you have the floor. No, I didn't say get on the floor. I'm saying you have the floor. Someone help Gail up. She's rolling around in the leftover parmesan. Kevin and Voltajio look like they are both about to start stopping. And it's hilarious because we're gonna have her somebody else else loses, they're not like, Oh, I'm so sorry for you. You okay? Torque. We won. Oh, again. Oh, I know. Now they look there about like they're about to sob at so funny. Yeah, Brian's just like, he's just like sniffing around. He's like, I'm just trying to find a Roma to cheer me up.

There's got to be a summer Roma around here summer. Oh, that one. And Kevin just sits there smiling insanely. And no congrats to the girls by the way. Not a wine. Yeah, the girls and the thing is the girls have to sit there and look Marose because it would be mean to like celebrate in front of the guys. Yeah, so that's what makes me crazy. Like the guys win and they're like, yeah, we did it. And the girls win and they're, Yeah, we did it and the girls win and they're you know They have to like sit there and pretend they're sad for the guys such babies. I know so Tom's like, you know at this level It's a bunch of technical mistakes. I don't know if I mentioned this but if you take a piece of pork and you see it too much and then You leave it we know Tom

All right, just get through this We know Tom, alright. Just get through this. And Evan is like, oh, mad, the brine's at a foam. So speaking to your heart, they're running. He's basically like, why would you donate to something that, like, so much, just to make it look cool, why would you do that? And Gail. That's exactly why you just answered your own question, sir.

Mm-hmm. And Gail's like, I was smitten by Kevin's beans. Oh, well, of course you were. Little known fact, Gail actually took a cannelloni bean to the prom. That's right And the judges like yeah, but his raviolo felt flat Well, the challenge was parmigiano parmigiano regiano and they both failed at showcasing the ingredients Yeah, but to me there was a problem with Kevin's pork. Oh, steard, it's oversteered. He mistreated it. It's oversteered. I'm sorry.

It gals like, look, we're taking all this time to talk about the pork and we haven't even mentioned the prosciutto. He's like, yeah, because he didn't do anything with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, zing, you know. I'm patting, it's like, well, while Brian Secundo wasn't perfect, it did utilize the Pajudo better, and at least he didn't top it under a pyramid of Parmesan. I'm then back in the steer room, Kevin goes, well, if one of us ends up going home today, it's been real special. What do you mean if one of you ends up going home? One of you is gonna, what do you think they're gonna pull out some special, you know, some

special prize for you in the end? This is already your second chance or you're out. Yeah, seriously. So the chefs come back in and Tom's like, you know, we all have empathy that you're all here and we know how difficult it is coming back to this and just shows what you're made of. Not hot and so on the case of Brian Botagio's case Just want to put that out there. No hot and so over there So Kevin and the zombie it's down to you two and Botagio's just staring straight ahead I'm not gonna look at them. I will not look at them aroma aroma aroma aroma Kevin, please pack your knives and your pig tattoos and go.

So Kevin's like, all right, all right. So he comes over and even his departure is annoying because he does a really exaggerated like that handshake thing where you don't just shake someone's hand, you swing your hand out all the way to the right and then sort of swoop swoop it in aggressively like put it there or you know I'm like stop that shake normally shake normally and then he gives pad my kiss on the cheek she's like oh oh dear the pig man's getting close to my cheek oh no it's happening it's all happening yeah that handshake is like it's like you you're making the other person make an effort to catch the handshake so annoying. And then he gives this speech like he won.

I guess he just figured, well, I'll just give my winning speech a stand. I am a thiter and I believe you have to fight for what you want. My I wanted to come here and I've worked really hard and I fought back and I won and I want people who are struggling to know if they keep, they keep hope alive. Great things can come of it. You know that you lost, right? Everyone gets a ball. Everyone!

Well, so that was that. I mean, it's interesting, and I think that Melissa is going to win because she's on such a roll. But you never know, Brian could sneak it out, And they are giving Stephanie definitely a big underdog story, but I don't think she's gonna win win. But I mean, Brian has been faltering a little bit towards the end here as well. But the other thing is that on these shows, they like to do that.

They like to make sort of like a, like one of the front runners starts to stumble towards the end and then they get their shit together. So I don't I don't really know. I don't know where to go. Yeah, because Voltajio and Melissa are both definitely front runners. So you never know, they might give it to Stephanie. Who was Stephanie friends with the first year she came on? Wasn't she... Wasn't she crazy maybe? Wasn't she friends with somebody who got... Well, didn't she audition and she got kicked off right at the beginning

Yes, when they had like 50 chefs Competing and they had the multi relay races or some shit and she got kicked off and then they brought her on in another season Right, yeah, and then she did better in that season, but then she got kicked off because Someone had immunity and then the other person I think maybe had immunity. There was some sort of like bullshit thing where she was Nicholas, like, off the guy who won. And she had to go home by default. So she sort of got screwed there and then because he made a dish, there was like a team thing and his dish was so bad that their team wound up in the bottom and then he couldn't

be eliminated. So she had to go or some weird shit like that. But I remember she was, I think she was friends with Grayson but I could be wrong. Hmm well if any of you remember please let us know in the comments and thank you so much for being here everybody. We're gonna do the top chef finale on Friday right? No no we're doing it on Monday. Oh you're right right. You're right. Sorry Monday. Sorry. Go. Sorry. We texted a lot this weekend. Like, what are we going to do? Cause Bravo schedule is an upheaval. But we are adding. We've already added selling sunset to the mix. And we are going to be adding Mary to medicine LA this week as

well. So check that out. And, um, and that's my important speech. You won. You won. I won! I won! You won! You won! At least I have heart and soul. Well, thank you very much, everybody. Yeah, thanks everyone. We will talk to you on the next episode. Bye! Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today.

Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.