Watch What Crappens - TopChef: Pitch Sesh
Episode Date: May 5, 2020It's a very CUTTING episode of Top Chef this week. First, the cheftestants must make tacos with nothing more than a machete. Why? Because Danny Trejo is the guest quickfire judge! Then, for t...he main challenge, the chefs must pitch concepts for next week's sure-to-be disastrous Restaurant Wars. Can't wait! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy
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And joining me is the wonderful and hilarious and fabulous Ronnie Kerrome from the Rose
Prick Special Rose podcast.
What's up Ronnie?
Well, how's your weekend?
How was your weekend?
So good.
It was so nice to have a lovely time just sitting around watching TV and watch so much TV.
Oh, fun, fun.
I did not watch a huge amount of TV.
I played virtual board games and animal crossing and then I cooked a lot.
I cooked a very flat loaf of bread, which was exciting.
Yeah, but it's still tasty.
But here we are, fresh and today speaking of cooking,
we're gonna be recapping top chef today,
which is very exciting.
But before we do that, just a reminder that this Friday evening,
we will be recapping the real housewives of New York City,
live on the internet, it'll be one of our streaming things
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we were supposed to be in San Francisco and San Diego
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Over at patreon.com slash watch or crap and so you can watch and comment along and all that fun stuff
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Yeah, I got one I got one from Laura Pate. We met her in New York
Laura Pate she says hey guys was hoping you boys can give a shout
out to one of our local restaurants here in New Hyde Park Long Island. Uncle Bacala's.
It's an awesome little Italian restaurant where we went to eat often and I had many
of party there just yesterday. We ordered food for my birthday and I also ordered my
favorite espresso. So much. You need to go. Okay, thank you so much for everything you both do.
Love you guys, Laura Pete.
Well, thanks Laura and everyone, yeah,
or if you're in that area,
go order from Uncle Bacala's
because obviously you can order,
you can know the fact that you can order
espresso martini to go is pretty cool.
So check out Uncle Bacala's and new high park,
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Yes, and next up is Sarah. Sarah is a one woman owned business. She creates
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They created a limited additional skin care line
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and 25% of sales of 735 Flora Vista
is given to bring clean water to this small village,
which is pretty awesome.
What is this?
This is called Sarah Drake Design.
On Instagram, you can find her, I'm opening this
Instagram, at Sarah Drake Design, that Sarah within H at the end, and then everything else is like it sounds.
Sarah Drake Design. So go support Sarah. Gosh, she's got some beautiful stuff on her Instagram right now.
Well done Sarah. And one last thank you to everyone. When Cameo did their fun raising drive, thanks to the people
who booked Cameos. We were able to raise $348 for the restaurant employee, really fun.
So thank you everyone who booked those cameos.
Yeah. Yeah, Cameo. Good cameo.
Okay, let's do some. What are we doing? Top chef.
Top chef. Yeah, top chef. So last week, there was a double elimination.
We're Karen and Nini.
We're both sent home.
But then Padma was like, wait, don't go anywhere.
I want you to stand there and feel sorry for yourselves.
Because guess what, Tom, do you want to say
what's happening now?
Well, I just wanted to say it's a last chance kitchen right now.
It's coming up right now.
Look, look, I changed jackets.
I'm like Mr. Rogers except I'm in a chef's jacket now and everyone else disappeared
around me.
Well, and then we all ran to provotv.com to watch last chance kitchen except for us because
I don't believe that.
I also for some reason thought they were gonna show This last chance kitchen thing which I guess I don't know why I thought that it is last chance kitchen
But I kind of thought we were gonna see it, but then when we started this episode
We just like are in the we're just we start up in the house with all the chef standing around being like I'm is
Neenie I miss Karen. I was like do we get to see the fight? No. Oh, yeah. They looked it made it look like we were going to see it because it was they
went they never do that. Like, and now it's top chef kitchen and stuff starts rolling
around like he's bringing out the box to saw Padma in half.
Yeah. So instead we were back at the house and Stephanie, surprise, surprise, Stephanie
is bummed out because she Stephanie Karen
and Neenie were they had called themselves Padmas Angels and she's like well Karen and
Neenie are eliminated so feel terrible like feel terrible yeah Padmas Angels it's like
now it's just Padmas Angels not fun and. And Melissa, meanwhile, is talking to Voltage,
and she's like, so was that your first time in the bottom?
He's like, oh, in that type of situation?
Yeah, and I am stressed.
I mean, that was rough.
I was a double, I've been a runner up twice now.
So, yeah, I was stressful.
Michael Voltage, you're just like wraps on the window
and it's like, by the way, I won.
I actually won.
Anyway, have a great day, you guys.
Yeah.
I'd also like that he's kind of a vault, you know,
and his brother's a Tesla.
So then we go over to, we get in the car,
and go over to the kitchen, and Padmas and a mustard dress,
which I don't know. I don't know that I need that from you.
Okay, you look like something Gail's gonna like throw
on a potato and call him.
That's.
It's always scary when you dress like a condiment on this.
So you never know what's gonna happen.
So yeah, it's a very pedestrian common condiment
for a pod meant to be dressed as like maybe a holy colored.
I actually thought she looked great
but then she's padma she looks great in everything so she actually looks great
everything she's so she's still cut like a padma for Christ's sake so she's
standing in front of a bunch of boxes and she's like well you guys were
sleeping your former competitors were battling out you know it was sort of
like watching two homeless people scrap
over a loaf of bread. It was hilarious. In this box is Gwyneth Paltrow's head, spoiler alert.
You have 30 minutes to make something out of the goop queen.
Seven sins, as I called them, seven gals.
So then we have like, so we see like a flashback
to what happened in last chance kitchen.
And really the only thing that's important
is that Karen and Lisa and Nini are all cooking.
And Luigi is like three minutes girls.
And Karen's like, ah, chef would be better than girls
because we're on from dich they call me a chef too,
and I actually have a James Beard Award.
So handlebars, bye.
And he tells us, I do not want to make that mistake again.
Oh,
ah.
So gross.
And part of him was like, are you ready to find out who won?
Go in there, if you're ready to come out of the box.
I was ready for somebody to come out of that box. You can't have a huge box sitting there right after you made it look
like a magic show and not have somebody come out of the box. Last night on last chance
kitchen, we asked the chef to climb into a box and make pasta meals for us all. Let's
see how they did. The winning box gets shipped to Gale. Welcome to a box of better brothers. Tesla. So anyway, we see like
outside. Yeah, we just see we just see hands on the steering wheel and you can
just sort of tell by the angle of the forearms and like a shadow of something
that whoever's driving it is about a centimeter away from the wheel. And it
turns out it's Karen, which
makes sense because I can totally imagine Karen driving like that. Hands on the top of
the wheel, her chin like over the wheel. I mean like now let me just see can I get into
this later. Oh, there was a car there. Sorry, sir.
Um, so yeah, it's Karen and she's like I'm back So Madness like
Contrates I don't know what that means but it's congratulations congratulations
Contrate that's something that famous people say to congratulate each other when Oscars
Contrate my good friend Ali Warn
I was talking to my dear friend, Lena Weith, and she said,
Contrate Padma on getting another season pickup. And I said, you too, fellow Emmy winner.
No, it's a pleasure for me to welcome your next judge who I have not been friends with
for years because he's not enough of a celebrity. Please welcome critically acclaimed
kind of bit actor who likes to open this jacket and show off fake diamond machete.
Now after who's TV and film credits, right, as lengthy as he is, I'm just going to leave it there
to make it seem like I'm suggesting his penis. How was that alley log? I could do comedy too.
You might know me as the lady who sexually eats pizza
on her Instagram, so I'll let that sit with you guys for a second.
I thought I'm saying.
I'd like to introduce you to a man who somehow looks like everyone's aunt,
Danny Trejo.
Danny Trejo.
Danny Trejo, wow.
So he's like, hey, what's up, chefs?
Danny Trejo, so he took over, I don't know if you guys watch that movie on Netflix called Tangerine about the hooker trade, Dana.
Oh, I haven't seen it, but yes, I know.
He's Hollywood.
Yeah.
He's Hollywood.
It's I'm, I'm rather East and that place is.
I don't know why I got so excited. You're right. You're right. It's Hollywood. I'm farther east than that place is. I don't know why I got so excited.
You're right.
It's Santa Monica in the Highland.
Yeah.
Yeah, Santa Monica in the Highland.
It's Hollywood, Hollywood.
And they used to have a place called Donut Time there, which is where all the hookers go
and get there.
Like, remember that story about Eddie Murphy picking up a hooker who was just trying to find her
way home.
Yeah.
That was awesome.
And that place ended up closing and Danny opened a new donut place there, which seems
even more hookery.
This one's hot pink and it's got his face on it outside.
Yeah, and I've actually been to it and I can report the first time I went, I thought the
donut was really
tasty and then since then the donuts are fine but they're not great and in fact I think
I once there are coffee is okay and I think I got a breakfast sandwich there once and it
was okay everything is like it's good it's good because donuts are inherently good but
I want it to be better.
Yeah, I mean, it needs to be something that you're gonna deep-throat. Like if you're gonna go to that place It needs to be good enough to deep-throat, you know? Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, he on set plays now. Anyway, that's a useless fact
No one really needs it
But it gave me an opportunity to brag about like I've been to his donut shop
I just like that he was like, you know, I'm gonna take that the the the hooker that hooker donut shop
And I'm gonna make it more hookery and it's now it's called Danny tree host
Remember when you walk by us at sir
He was at sir once when we were there and someone like he was Carlos antenna
I feel like when you live in Los Angeles. It's always like a movie where you're like oh, I'm Danny tree hose in this for like five minutes
Yeah, you know like a movie where you're like, oh, Danny Tree hose in this for like five minutes. You know?
He's just in regular people's lives for five minutes. Yeah.
So anyway, so he comes out with it.
As you mentioned, a jacket and, uh, well, which has machetes on the inside, like
color, which we find out because Padma goes, you guys are dying to know what's in the box,
right?
Right.
Guess what?
It's Gas Laundry. Look laundry look granny panties everywhere. Ha ha
It's machete and Leanne's like oh my god. I'm freaking out what an iconic face
I know such an odd such an odd thing to say. Yeah, she's like a big tenny Treho fan
Which I thought was like reserved for people who have just like graduated college, and I like being cool.
Yeah, stoners.
Nothing, nothing against Danny Trejo.
I'm just saying that like, I feel like most people who are like, I love Danny Trejo, are
people who like are like really just, yeah, are stoners out of college.
Yeah.
Oh, I'm a fan of his because of Quentin Tarantino movie scene.
Yeah, I mean, his vibe is good, but like, I feel like to be like, I don a fan of his because of Quentin Tarantino movie scene. Yeah, I mean, it's good.
It's good, but I feel like to be like a, I don't know, to be like a hardcore Danny Trejo
stan.
I feel like there's also, there are a lot of people who are fans of his because it's
cool to be fans of Danny Trejo, right?
And I think that like what he actually does is immaterial.
They just like the idea of him, which is fine too, but I just didn't expect
Leanne to be a Danny Trejo, like super fan, which apparently she is.
Yeah, she sure is. So they have to make tacos with machetes, which is kind of an odd,
you know, it's kind of an odd challenge. Little fluke, but you know, okay, sure, go go for it.
Okay. She's like Treayhose tacos is booming
He even has a donut shop right Danny. All right. We want you to make the perfect taco with the machete
And he's like you can vegan it you can vegetarian it right into a cow. You can do it
Yes, all right. All right
So chefs this will be the last quick fire for immunity after that you guys are all be pathetic on the same level
And then they start running around the kitchen with huge machete switch. I know
You're really dangerous really dude
So Leana still freaking out. So I'm making a taco for fucking Danny trail, okay
I'm making a taco for fucking Danny Trail, okay? Okay, okay, I'm relaxed.
And Malarkey is just being annoying,
because he's like, he's gonna make a Baja Asian mole
and he's like, check that, huh?
But we can't use a blender,
so I have to take it back thousands of years
and use a mortar and pestle.
He acts as if like, he has just on earth this ancient tool
that has not been touched since like the dawn of like time,
since like the stony, you know, like, you know,
like mortar and pestle, it's like not that crazy
of a thing to make a mole or anything in a mortar and pestle,
right?
Like, you get credit for that.
Yeah, what else do you chop your coke up in?
I mean, Jesus, come on people, welcome to 22,
I mean, do I have to teach you everything?
No, I just thought it was so ridiculous. I had to go back a thousands of years in
civilization and use a fork. It's like oh god. I have a lot.
Well, thank god he didn't have to go back there because he would not have survived. He is definitely someone who would have been eaten by a lion.
It's a shame we don't have time machine sometimes. So
Oh, it's a shame we don't have time machine sometimes. So Karen is going with Korean flavors and she's like, now that I'm back, I have renewed
energy, but I'm also so tired, so tired.
I almost got the three accidents in my BMW on the way over here.
In fact, it was really terrifying.
Stephanie, Stephanie is having the most positive day ever.
She's like I
think tortilla's at work so that's fine but what kind of mean to I use everyone's
making a fish taco I don't want to make a fish taco
Kevin's making some pork I'll post pastor with banana and Padma's like,
5 minutes everybody.
And Greg, Gregory is actually surprisingly in the weeds because he's trying to make a
fresh tortilla, which he's never done before and he's really messing up and it's causing
a chain reaction or domino effect with everything.
So he is struggling and etc.
And then it's like it's like classical
music. Of course I can't think of any right now. But then it cuts to Voltageo just with
his machete doing like the most beautiful avocado knife or no. Just like Gordon, he like
made a swan out of an avocado with a machete. So then time runs up and Padmas like hands up machete's down. Get it.
Allie Wong, that was a joke. Machete's down because normally I say hands up utensils
down, but they're only utensils of the machete. I guess you just have to be there, Allie.
That's fine. That's fine. Don't laugh. So they start with the end. I'm like, oh, you're
my huge fan. Danny trail. One of the things. Okay, I've made to kill a beer bad
This tacos and podmas wearing her like badass stoner glasses from the 60s She's like my good friend Danny Trejo. They're like sunglasses, but you can see my eyes am I right Danny?
It's come to my attention that I'll be tasting with the hipster icons
I put on some glasses to make it look like I'm from Silver Lake.
Anyway, what do you make for us, stupid face?
What was it like working with the machete lady?
And she's like, oh, whoa, I live in Hawaii,
so we all have a machete in the back of our car.
Jocelyn Kasey!
Great story, poor person.
Tell me about it. I was married to Salman
All right Greg what'd you make and he's like oh, I made a tempera rockfish and you know
I really hope that it makes you proud like did you salt your tortilla and the flour Gregory
Wow, I thought you were bad before and then give you a machete and you're just totally useless. Am I right? Am I right?
High five.
High five, Aunt Josie.
Oh, that's your aunt.
Hey, I just realized you accepted me with Aunt Josie.
Oh, no, you don't want to high five for Aunt Josie.
She high five is very hard.
Just to see if you have the risk strength to take it.
Well, that seems like Danny Trejo.
Yeah, I'm sure Aunt Josie sees a big Danny Trejo fan
Also, I have to just point out the Danny Trejo a Trejo just keeps opening his jacket going machetes
They keep putting that sound effects
It was like last week with a guy who is like hey just because I make a pizza doesn't mean it has to be around there Did you make this for me because it's around? You made a round thing for me, right?
So this week it's all about like,
Meshaddi Blazer.
I don't like this just because it's round,
but it's round so you win.
Yeah, wait a minute.
So Karen made some fried rockfish with kimchi.
Kim Chi!
What's that?
From our old Food Network, Ricop Seris,
one lady who had to cook with kimchi and it was the most confusing thing she'd ever done in her life.
She's like,
GAMCHEE!
She's like, I opened it up, it was BUBBLOOD!
I will never forget that.
I'll Food Network star.
Commissions, here comes one right now.
Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court.
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Were you just being totally uncreative? Is that why? I mean, why not just like stuff it with fufu like usual and send it to Nilo?
And then Stephanie
um, did
cucumber cat, what did you do?
Lamb. I put lamb and cucumber. I was like, you meet a lamb.
cucumber cat what do you do lamb? I put lamb and cucumber.
I was like, you meet a lamb.
That's my house making lamb.
She did lamb with cucumber and lime cashews or something.
And she's like, so did you make the tortilla or not?
Well, I will say this, Kathy, it is nice to have a non-fish taco.
Yeah, I'm surprised you made the tortilla. What did you use? Flower, corn, or general sadness?
Wow, a wonderful tortilla from such a disappointed person. Who knew?
Okay, J. Let's go talk to Brian. Okay, Brian, what did you make us? And Brian made, of course, like a gorgeous looking thing with Amiso Semintaka with a caviar.
Wasn't it hard to do with a machete?
Because it looked like it was almost as good as your brothers,
but not quite.
And Danny's like, oh yeah, I've got a machete.
What's he doing?
He's going to track it.
Yeah, he's like, I'm trying to do it with my machete
in case you didn't see.
I have machete's stitching to my blazer. So then Malarkey is next and he's
he's into his whole wow. Baja agent. It's a thing guys. It's
a thing. So Danny's like, well, he tells us a big story. Malarkey
tells a big story about Baja Street in Tijuana. Yeah. Malarkey
are cultural ambassador. Yeah. Soarkey, our cultural ambassador.
Yeah.
And Danny goes, good street.
And they're like, okay, Malarkey,
what are you doing over in Tijuana, you little perv?
Because if Danny Treeho knows your street and compliments it,
Malarkey, your fish face wife better figure something out.
Fish face.
Fish face.
And then so finally, I have Kevin,
who made a moho roasted pork taco with banana and scallion, etc.
So now we have like the okay, all right Danny, why don't you tell everyone who's at the bottom of the taco food chain?
All right, so the bottom are Gregory his his was too salty his and he's like I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it.
And then Eric who had too much tortilla and not enough stuffing,
which is just what a disgusting thing to say to somebody. Yeah.
Too much flour tortilla here.
So then the ratio. Yeah, no, not for me. So then Trejo is like, wow, Leon, it was a party of taste in my mouth. And she's like, oh my god, what a fan.
Liam it was a party of taste in my mouth and she's like oh my god what a fan
And Padden goes it was pop in
It was pop in oh also Karen you're in the top Which is exciting because you were just eliminated remember that you're just you're a little bit not as good as the rest of the
Shats because you were actually eliminated anyway, but the winner is the sad girl who's standing by the door trying to leave
Yes, you you. Come back.
It's like me.
I'm so happy.
So, yeah, Stephanie wins, and she wins immunity, which she's going to need later.
And she's like, God, I've just been waiting to win something, anything.
Chefs, restaurant was. We'll be next week week and I'm inviting my dear friend Nina
Weith to both restaurants but the battle begins now.
You guys it's really tough chefs when you have someone like Brian Malarkey here
you really need to use his ass holdery so let's do a pitch challenge.
Please welcome front-be-bie winner Stephanie Isard, Izard, and a guy with a strange haircut,
Kevin Bohem. Hello, guess. Oh my god, that guy was so cute and then I was like, he's crazy,
right? He has this like crazy ass hole smile, doesn't he? Oh yeah, he is like, he's like
the sort of person in the restaurant industry that I feel like you just want to avoid because he's just,
there's something about him that was like evil.
Yeah, I kind of agree with everything he said.
And he's so good looking, but then yeah,
he does have like a two intense squint in his eye
that, and his smile's a little too tight.
I just, yeah, there's something scary.
Yeah, I just don't think you can look good
and be a restaurant tour without there being something shady going on. Like I think if you're a good restaurant tour, you's something scary. Yeah, I just don't think you can look good and be a restaurant tour without there being
something shady going on.
Like, I think if you're a good restaurant tour,
you should be fat.
Only because you're eating so much food.
I know that just sounds awful.
What I just said, I probably will take some heat for it.
I didn't mean it like in that way.
I'm just mean like, you should be eating all the food, right?
When I'm afraid of the thin people brigade.
No, I'm afraid of people thinking I'm fat-shaming.
I'm not fat-shaming.
I'm saying that like... You're fat-praising. I'm fat chamois I'm not fat chamois I'm saying that like you're fat praising I'm fat praising
I feel like you should be trying all the food. We all know, Ben. We all know
You're trying all the food and if you're good looking and you have like a hip haircut
I feel like you're just like somehow just in it for the cocaine
Yeah, when you wear it shirts that are that tight to like a eating event, it's disgusting.
It's like a slap in the face to everybody there.
This is basically my way of saying I'm just really jealous of him.
Me too, yeah.
Let's bring him down.
That's what you should do to really hop.
Bring them down to earth.
He's a hot person who like works in the food industry and pretty much gets free meals
and can go to like to all these fancy restaurants.
All of Stephanie Izar's super famous restaurants in Chicago.
So yeah, I'm jealous.
I'm jealous.
Well Stephanie's kind of bitchy too and I love it.
I love it.
I love her.
I've always loved her.
I loved it what you want.
I love how she has that.
I love her bitchyness.
It's so funny.
So she's top chef Jeff started my career.
Bad news.
And Kevin, you've opened a lot of legs.
I mean, restaurants.
I ride Danny to hear that one hooker king.
Wow, you're almost as successful as my very dear good friend, David Chang.
Anyway, tell us about your Netflix show.
Oh, I guess you don't have one.
Any who?
Well, thankfully you'll have enough time to judge with us today.
Person with no career.
Okay, Stephanie.
So, yeah, so they have to come up with a restaurant.
For ahead of restaurant wars, everyone has to pitch the restaurant concept and cook some dishes
to, like, you know,, as part of the pitch.
And the winning ones will be the captains of restaurant wars.
Yes, and they're good.
Yeah.
So Kevin's like, oh, oh, no, the main Kevin.
He's like, well, if the idea's really good, who knows?
Maybe we'll steal it.
I'm, I'm gonna take a drink.
Yeah.
So, so, so, Liana's already, she's like very confused and torn. She tells
us. And then we see the shots are all driving somewhere, maybe the whole foods are the house.
I think it's back to the house. And, um, Malarkey is in a car with Brian Voltage on Kevin. And
Malarkey is like, I'm, I would say that three of us are the most established restaurant tours
in the group, right? Right.
I'm like, you know what?
You may be stating facts, but the fact that you're so proud about this when you're also
so proud that you just like introduce the mortar and pestle to all of America, it just
seconds me.
Yeah.
He's like, I want the world to know, Baja Asian is gonna be insane.
Now, I just have to sell everybody else on this
That's so you so gross and then Kevin's like I'm thinking of a concept called
Buster cux fluster cux. Yeah, fluster cux
And Brian Voltage
Brian Voltage was like oh
Why cluster fucks oh wait a minute? Oh
Where have he done that laugh?
So we go home and everybody is doing their mood boards.
It's like arts and crafts night.
And Eric is not in a good place in this whole episode.
Yeah, he's like, oh God, you know, this mood board, it's really important to me,
because it's going to really allow me to evoke feelings of middle passage,
which is the name of the transatlantic slave trade.
I was like, jeez, that's, that's the saddest mood board
and you haven't even started it. I'm sad.
I, so I actually thought he was going to be winning the challenge,
because that seemed like, oh, that's a great, like extension of what he already does.
And it's a good name, an interesting name.
You know, I was like, oh, so he's probably gonna be the one
of this challenge.
Oh no, I knew he was screwed.
He totally got the top chef.
I'm screwed at it, because he goes,
I made this dish in the finale
and then I was eliminated.
So this is really where I make it up and I show them
how good it can be.
And I was like, oh no, why do you do that?
That never works, that never works. do you do that? That never works.
That never works.
Never, ever works.
Like literally never works.
That happened.
Jamie got eliminated.
I think doing the same thing.
I could be wrong.
It doesn't matter.
Anyway, so Karen, she wants to do something Asian inspired.
She wants to do a modern dim sum concept, which I love.
I love the idea of that because I loved dim sum.
And I love Karen.
So I'm very pro that.
And then Stephanie, of course, is struggling. So she's like, I mean, I'm a private chef.
I don't know what to do. I mean, the only concept I've come up with so far is,
yeah. Emily, I'm like, well, I put together a mood board with the feel of why, you know,
that feeling you get when you're, you're going down the highway looking at the ocean thinking, God, a burger might be right behind me ready to kill me Mexican food because we've never seen that before ever ever ever ever ever
So let's go bowling instead, right? Because the producer's told me to say that. Yeah, let's go bowling
We're Ronnie Ben just bowled a couple of months before
And remember we had so much fun on those two bowling lanes at the Roosevelt Hotel
I know you really we weren't competing but you definitely kicked my ass because I kept on rolling into the gutter
And you were like bowling was you're like
Guess it's like you're visible. Yeah, it's like invisible high five and Josie
So can you please explain to me this game so you just take a ball and you roll it at some pins and knock them over and is that it?
Is that all you do? Do you win any sort of Nobel Prize afterwards for literature? No? Okay.
So it's basically Gail when she sees a snickers display.
Except Gail is both the ball and the pins.
Except Gael is both the ball and the pins. So they bowl and Stephanie's all depressed while Malarkey is like, so how many rats
man?
You got a loop.
And they all talk about how many rats don't say vote.
And then she's like, I'm going to kill myself.
Basically.
So the next day Eric is out in the yard clipping things from trees to put on his mood board.
And he's like, you know, I think he's like feeling like very innovative and then someone's like,
oh, well, that's funny because Valtazio actually glued an entire plate to his board.
And then he just he'd Michael Valtazio walking with his vision board. He's like, I actually put a
China set, an entire China set, entire table. You actually, you're walking with his vision board. He's like, I actually put a china set and entire china set entire entire table.
You've actually eat your entire meal off my vision board.
Anyway, have a great day, guys.
Bye.
So then we go to Whole Foods to do some shopping and Stephanie.
I'm Stephanie.
She's like, okay, here's my concept.
I'm going to do modern contemporary American.
Whoa.
Hello. Wait, what? That's a great idea. of my concept. I'm going to do modern contemporary American. Whoa. Whoa.
Wait, what?
That's a great idea. Are you saying an updated take on some American classics?
No. Almost like a gasharpub, but like with different words, that's crazy.
Wow. She's like, so I'm going to do smoked fish dip with chips and a schnitzel.
It's like, how is a schnitzel contemporary American?
Yeah, it goes, I mean, there's schnitzel with something.
And then Kevin, Kevin, he's gonna do America's first chicken curry.
By the way, I had never even heard of Country Captain.
Am I crazy?
I mean, I believe it's a thing.
Of course, I had never heard of it.
And he was talking as if it was like an American staple. Have you heard of country captain? Isn't country captain the name of his restaurant?
Yeah, but he said it was also the name of his dish, the chicken curry thing.
Oh, no, I just I heard country captain. I thought he was like, that's the name of my restaurant.
And it's the first, it's basically the South was part of the the spice trade.
So we actually came up with the first American version of chicken curry.
Right. Which is actually, if you think about it, kind of a problematic thing.
If you really, really want to think about it, it's like, oh, once white people found it, it became America's first.
Yeah.
No, it was amazing. It's a boat's pulled up. We stole everything off the boat and then we invented curry.
And it became America's first curry. Like, okay. Um, but since I don't know enough about
the topic, I want to get to, I won't get to preach you about it, but I did think it was
kind of funny. But he said that. So, um, cooking. Let's get cooking. Um, yeah. So they're
cooking now and Greg's like, you know, back home, I'm working on a Haitian restaurant
And he's making a whole fish and stuff and then Karen Karen's like I'm my restaurant is called three black crows because my grandparents last name was crow
I was like I don't know if I want to go to restaurant named three black rows. Aren't they like famous reading, you know
Yeah, you'll die here
aren't they like famous reading, you know, yeah, you'll die here. You're like, oh, man,
oh, man, you're gonna kill.
I guess that's the raven, but crows can't be good luck either, can they?
They could be good luck to other crows.
Other other things that like to eat people.
They're like, wow, wow, this is the guy who holds the sickle when you die.
What is that guy who's waiting for you to die?
Grim Reaper?
Yeah, the Grim Reaper is like this in quotes.
It's a good omen.
Buh, wah, wah, wah, wah.
Now, you know what's funny is that there is a very famous restaurant in San Francisco called State Bird Provisions.
And I believe they do like a sort of like dim dim sum like a American food dim sum. So it's funny that
Karen is doing modern American dim sum with something called three black rows or whatever
it's called. Just saying bird names and dim sum and American sum. So yeah, there you go.
I could also be talking out of my ass, but I'm just saying why not create some controversy huh? Yeah yeah get get all those
dumpling people row that big let's get the dumplings against each other so
Leon is peeling eggs and she's her restaurant is gonna be called her
Nai mama because that means like the family you choose like adopted family
and she's like like a wine's adopted me because people want fresh seafood. I'm like, how did Hawaiians adopt you?
You're terrified of being robbed.
So I guess I'm just so surprised to hear that because I always
think of Hawaii as being like the safest paradise ever because
I've never been there. So to me, it's just like, there's
a thing when you're growing up, people are like, oh my God,
they went to the neighbors to a Hawaii.
And I would always look at them like, oh my God, you must be so wealthy.
Yeah.
And and robbed.
They were robbed.
And now they're new machetes.
So they were wealthy.
So the judges walk in all serious.
And now it's time for people to start making their pitches.
So Kevin goes first and he puts up his vision board and he's like, I'm literally taking
the color palette on my grandmother's home and putting it on this board, which I don't
know if that's ever really a selling point for, like to grandma's homes always have great
color palettes.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Delicious.
Me, ma's house. Mmm. Breathe it in.
So yeah, he has like kind of a crock type of thing that he's serving out of and Tom goes,
look at those num-nums. Yeah. Yeah. Quiet Tom. Stop staring at Gale. So then, uh...
By the way, Gale is officially off of the bad pattern train and on to shoulder pad train.
And I don't like it. I don't like it Gail. I don't approve but it's now
official so thanks a lot. You're changing things up for you know all stars. So I
guess Kevin's whole thing is he serves this thing called country captain.
What he says is one of the smallest most famous dishes and it's like I
guess when you go to his restaurant it's you you only get, it's part of a multi-course meal,
and it's always country-captain,
but then there's other sides that change up
depending on what it is, and it's $49 per person.
I have to say, I actually did not,
I thought that was like an odd pitch.
I was surprised the judges liked it so much
because I'm like, it almost sounded like a fast casual thing,
but $49 a person.
It was a little odd to me, or maybe I just didn't get it.
Well, I didn't, I don't think he was saying
every dish has to be country-capped in.
I think he was saying that's the name of his restaurant
and then you choose a protein
and then you choose the sides.
Well, either way, it's still like a little,
I'm a, it sounded very fast casual to me,
but maybe it was just sort of like a prefix menu of what he was saying.
Yeah, I think so.
I think he was saying you pick a protein and then you pick your sides and it's just all
one.
I mean, it is a fancy each opponent, but yeah, I just, I think I was just like upset at
him.
I was, I think at this point, your, your hatred of Kevin has now ripped off on me.
And so I was like, I, I disapprove of all of this.
And Tom was like, yeah, I can,
I really picture myself sitting up around on Georgia
and eating this and thinking about how someday
I'll be able to retire and my son
will be able to take care of me.
And then I remember he's just a mixologist
and he'll never be able to take care of me, ever, ever.
So Eric's freaking out, well, in the Eric way,
he's like totally calm, but he looks really mad. Yeah, and his dish is he's like, wow, this dish is very intricate. I have to be super careful. Boom. He drops
Sources on the floor. Yeah, something. Yeah. He's like out of his rhythm and everything and everyone like Leon has to help him
And Paddle was like, I think that Eric is next because he seems he seems to be in the weeds a little bit look at him
Look isn't it funny how poor people get so and see when things go wrong
So he comes over and brings it over and he tells him what it is. It's
African food. He did a glazed duck with coriander and shrimp and Tom just looks at this shrimp like
Some floppy shrimp. Thanks and Tom just looks at this shrimp like huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh,. Gail, can you make sense of it? Oh wait, sorry. She's got a face full of food as usual.
Sorry, let's let Gail swallow her three pounds of food first.
Gail.
Gail, do you want to grill him?
She did not like that answer. She's not.
It's a casual but formal, disgusting.
Those are two contradictory concepts.
I know this, because I used to be married to Salman Rushdie,
the claim to author.
So Kevin, hot Kevin's like, guys, the duck is a mess.
Let me come on, it's a mess.
He's talking like, it's over cooked.
Too much broth, bad technique.
This is just bad technique.
Let's just celebrate bad technique.
And Kevin, hot Kevin's like, I mean, are you cooking for Michelin
or are you cooking for people
and wanna develop an audience?
Am I right?
High five, high five, everyone.
Why does Michelin like food with too much broth?
It's over cooked.
Are you saying Kevin, shut up over there hot Kevin.
I mean, basically, I mean, Eric really what he should have said was,
it's going to be, it's casual but the food is elevated,
you know, but like saying casual but formal is just like one of those like disorganized answers
that just makes people have no faith in you or your concept. Yeah, and then Gregory comes up with
his big ass fish and he's like, you have to be a great cook, but also a great salesman.
So here I go.
I was like, come on!
Come on, you can do it!
I'm like lighting a fire to put under his butt.
You could do this!
His red snapper looked amazing.
I was like, oh my god, give me that,
I'm not even like a huge red snapper person,
but I'm like, give me that red snapper.
Robb, yeah, it's great.
Not that I dislike it, I don't,
I haven't had enough red snapper in my life
to have a distinct feeling of like, I give me that red snapper. Robb, yeah. Not that I dislike it. I don't even had enough red snapper in my life
to have a distinct feeling of like,
oh, I know exactly how that's gonna taste, you know?
I just looked at myself.
Yeah, it's good.
And he's like deboning it right at the table.
And he tells him his Haitian inspired, wood fired.
And he's like, what are my fondest memories of Haiti
was the Kain man?
And Pat and was like, oh.
Mm-hmm. The K Kane man. Yeah, I know
about that too. Yeah, I can't. Yeah, I can't man. Can man. The Kane man who famously
had a sugar cane sugar cane. Yeah, I mean everyone knew that. Yeah, right. Right. Gail
doesn't know that poor thing. She never had came and her neighborhood i think the best she had was
maybe the twinkie man
you know that poor guy who got hit by a car and then started cooking because he had
to walk everywhere with cano sugar cane
oh that's right that's the very well try i must be thinking of a different
we had two came and actually so we're just one more came and then used so
i that's all poor gal she apparently only had a shoulder pad man, if you know what I'm
saying. So, Gale's like, how do you want the Haitian community to embrace this? Is this
authentication or is it just regular Haitian? Please stop talking about the king man. Got it. Got it. Oh, just give her some more red snapper
and she'll shut up. Pin the ox tail on the gal. Am I right, Gregory?
Oh, so then he's like, well, you know, I'm doing the fundamentals, but I think that there's
room for seasonality here.
And hot Kevin's like, well, this certainly has a point of view.
Well done, young man.
Sort of reminds me of being a child and the K-Mad would come to town.
I'd be like, what's your point of view, K-Mad, who I definitely had in my childhood?
Ooh, Fadmas says.
Oh, it would be so exciting to have a Haitian restaurant.
I mean I never thought about it once in my life but I think it'd be fun right?
Because I had a cane man.
The dealer is making a fort on the couch.
He's pulling pillows over and rearranging them into a fort but you're ridiculous.
Okay so then is Volt.
And he's like, oh, I'm calling this stature and rye
after my son because my son's name is stature.
And Ryebred, just because my brother's never really
been able to perfect that.
So I thought that was fine.
So my concept is Mid-Atlantic cuisine, which is pretty
revolutionary, except for the fact that Mid-Atlantic cuisine is pretty popular in the Mid-Atlantic Cuisine, which is pretty revolutionary except for the fact
that Mid-Atlantic Cuisine is pretty popular in the Mid-Atlantic.
So anyway, for this Mid-Atlantic Cuisine, I have made you some egg rolls and dumplings.
Oh damn it!
Did my sister describe this meal again to me?
She was.
I just brought out a plate of gorgeous croissant fish. I hope you guys enjoyed that.
I wasn't exactly sure what to put on the menu so I asked my sister and now we have Brazilian
Charskuro.
Yeah. So he really made...
Whoa, what you really made, Joker?
He really made crab rolled in hikama, which you know that I'm not a big fan of things
rolled in hikama. I just cannot get on board. Really? And after we last argued about it, I got some hikama, which you know that I'm not a big fan of things rolled in Hikama. I just cannot get on board.
And after we last argued about it, I got some Hikama slices because they were at the grocery store already sliced for little tacos.
And they're like, make your taco with these Hikama slices instead. And I was like, guess what?
You're not a flower tortilla. So go fuck yourself Hikama. How about that?
Why don't you just pretend it's not a taco and pretend it's just a different thing that is hikama specific
So wet in my mouth. I can't It has nice sweetness. Why don't you how about this? Why don't you?
Put it in a tortilla like a layer of tortilla with a layer of hikama and so that way
Here's what I did. I opened up some blue cheese dressing and I dipped that shit in there and it turned out to be delicious. So there you go.
No, I believe that. I just don't see why you're inflexible on the Hickama thing. I just I don't like when things pretend to be other things.
You know what I mean? Like a talk like a pretend to be a supermodel. I mean really.
Yeah, so anyway, he made crab rolled in Hickama and then he did a game hand with Sunflower Seed Resoto.
And he's like, I really want this idea to be more accessible to, you know, the regular people out there,
which is where the Sunflower Seed Resoto I was like, what are you talking about?
He's like, so we have a top with caviar and some sweetbreads and
We're just gonna do a crudo on the side, you know for the layman. Yeah, I'm proud of him. I was like what's the prize point
Bolt and he's like oh between uh, what I don't know how much is a heck of a slice is about $75
I don't know what normal people normally spend at McDonald's probably about $80 on a meal.
Alright that.
Just a reminder that your brother Michael had a restaurant called IncSack that made sandwiches.
So I guess he figured out accessible, huh?
Until it closed.
Until it closed because he wanted to do something exciting like open a restaurant in India.
You ever thought about doing that?
So he walks off and Tom's like, the food and the concept don't really match up
there and goes like, you know what? He's a Voltajio. His food is not acceptable. Just own it.
I mean, it's not accessible. Just own it. Okay, you cannot hear to be accessible.
Yeah, own it.
Just the way Gail maybe you should own
that your shoulders are shaped like hot dogs
and not like giant squares.
Oh, there she goes.
I knew all I needed to say was hot dog.
Somebody Gail's eating grown shoulders.
Do you know that Gail once stated people on okay,
Cupid based solely on if they were named Nathan's
because of the hot dogs
So then oh forget about the Oscar
And for a while she would only hate people who only spoke Hebrew
Mm-hmm and Renash's Karen is next and badminton's hi Karen. How are you?
So what Bob knows everything problem Bob says today I'm like, damn, Bob.
What?
Oh, I got scared for a moment because I thought I was seeing a ghost.
Weren't you eliminated already?
What are you doing back here?
Security.
Hi, everybody.
I'd like to introduce you to second chance, Karen.
I'd like to introduce everyone to someone who was bad enough to get eliminated, but for
some reason is back
So what's your terrible concept?
Let me guess your concept is the salvation army.
Hey Karen, guess what?
Oh
Anyway, I was just talking on the phone with Kelly Clarkson,
Bet your little jealous aren't you Karen, huh?
So Karen goes to her three-black-crows thing, modern dim sums.
She's like, I made a facacadillo and some sweet potato dumplings.
And Stephanie's like, how would the curry be served?
And Stephanie kind of is giving everybody a dirty look.
And this is when Stephanie starts to get evil and I love it.
Gels is like, I like the dishes, but it wasn't Chinese or Asian
and then Stephanie squints and nods really hard.
And this is where the squint and nod begins.
Yeah. And Tom's like, you know, she made a pancake with Kachado.
I mean, there's a concept there. I mean, Italian and Asian food.
Explore that. Explore that. It's like what I tell my son.
You can get any other sort of job, it's not from. Explore that. Explore that. It's like what I tell my son.
You can get any other sort of job, it's not from being a missile. Just explore that. Explore that. Anything. Move it theater. I don't care. Do it.
I just want her to win because I want to see carts and restaurant wars. That would be
heal their carts. Carts. Yeah. That would be great. That would be great. Yeah. So Leanne's next and she is presenting a Hanay Mama and she's got a salted egg curry,
mahi mahi and then a coconut braised pork belly.
Yeah.
And Leanne's like, well, you know, it's hard because everyone here has restaurants.
Well, I mean, with the exception of Stephanie over there, look, the girl over there who's
just sort of sad and staring at, I think it's supposed to be Schnitzel, but might just be
a place map.
Anyway, so I'm making modern Hawaiian food, something you've probably never heard of from any restaurant ever in Hawaii.
You know, Tom's like, I'm not feeling it, it's all cold pork, and it's not even seasoned well, so...
Phil.
Yeah, it gals like, yeah, Leanne's concept doesn't feel very different from so many other Hawaiian restaurants.
Sort of like you're addressing the address barn in my right, Gail.
I mean, let's be honest.
I've seen that on five different women on the street when I actually was walking on the street
because nobody just gets driven around.
But anyway, enough about me.
Let's talk about your shoulder pads.
So Stephanie's next and she's freaking out.
She's like, I've never had a restaurant like this.
So she comes over and Padma's like,
the biggest surprise here is your vision board. Wasn't done on a bunch of sticky notes,
office lady. What also surprised me is like, I don't know, was Tom drunk at this point or whatever,
because Stephanie put her vision board up and her restaurant's called Lucy Seas. So she puts it
up and Tom goes, Lucy Seas.
He's like really delighted by the name.
And then Stephanie goes, yeah,
Lucy Seas was my dog for 15 years that died.
It was like delicious Stephanie.
Mm, wow, a Vokin' Good Dead Dog is where we're about to eat.
Thanks.
So this first dish, Schnitzel,
it's in honor of a hamster I had that also died
But prematurely when a hawk broke into our house and got into his cage
So anyway enjoy gross killed my fish. Thanks a lot Karen
So Tom's like oh
What did you choose these dishes? So this is a fish dip with chips and
soggy chicken, so
What's up with that crazy lady?
It's like well, you know, I just want people to feel like it's something that they couldn't do at home
It's like you made chips and dip and snips. Oh, yeah
What what part about rustic food says can't make it at home, you know, so Stephanie walks away and how much it just goes it wasn't good
You know like gals watch rub and
Evil Kevin's like um so it's basically a non-concept concept
Great one and Padma goes snitches all sex
I think we can all agree that this snitchel tastes like a big piece of rubber.
So if you all pass it down to gale, she'll finish it off for us.
And gale goes, well, she does have immunity and evil Kevin says, well, she should name
a restaurant immunity.
And they're like, oh, a turtle, turtle, turtle.
And me, I'm tell Stephanie, they're laughing really hard.
So I don't know if that's a good thing or not
Maybe I shouldn't have led that my restaurant concept is
I should have left the dead dog thing out of it maybe
So then there's a commercial
I don't know if you notice this that the next commercial break the end of it is like
Gregory and Kevin if they show K. Padma going, Gregory and Kevin,
your restaurant concepts are about to come to life. Like for the next week, I'm like,
guys, spoiler alert. Oh, you know what? I wonder if maybe the recording that you watched
was like the second airing of it, you know, because I didn't see that. Why did you watch
it on the YouTube TV? No, I watched it on direct TV. Oh
The first one YouTube TV might have taken because I've noticed that sometimes YouTube TV takes like the recording that airs later in the evening
But either way it's shaded that they were air that commercial in the middle of the second night the same night, you know
So then Malarkey's like, all right, it's my turn.
Where I look, all right guys?
Look at my teeth.
Oh, God.
God, I want to start dropping dead.
Yeah, he's like handing it up in front of the waitresses,
but also like, the judges could hear it.
So it's like all part of the spiel.
I'm like, oh, he's just like a funny show
and he was on TV once, you know.
Yeah.
So Malarkey's whole thing, if he says,
you know what I want to do? I want to entice the millennial. So already it's like, yeah, so Malarkey's whole thing if he he says you know what I want to do
I want to entice the millennial so already it's like okay pass pass pass hard pass
Yeah, just what a gross. So what a boomer thing to say exactly that's the thing
When you say you when you want to entice the millennial that's the first thing so
That's exactly how you do not entice a millennial as be as say you want to
entice the millennial.
Yeah.
So he's like, yeah, you know what millennial's like braze,
ox tail with mole like what?
And then he's like, I thought of a love story, guys.
I love story.
All right, picture this.
Two people from different worlds, they fall in love and they cannot deny their love
and pop up a customer shaking her head like her hair back.
Like she's in a...
Like she's in a music video.
And he's like, the Judy stand for Donkey and the Dragon
because it's agent Baha, Baha, Baha agent, Baha,
love story.
So now I'm like, part of this also again, like, okay,
so I guess it's the Asian part supposed to be the dragon.
And then does that mean that that Latino part is the donkey?
Do we feel good about that?
I don't know.
But he's like, yeah, I came from Shrek, it's hilarious, right?
Anyway, we're putting Latino food and we're putting
Latino food and Asian food together.
Please tell me you've never been to the country of Peru.
Thank you very much.
Okay.
And Gilles, like, brilliant. What a concept. That is brilliant. Okay.
And date Molle, what a perfect expression of his concept. I mean, you say Shrek and Gail
is already sold. If you know what I mean, am I right, everyone? Am I right? Kevin high
five? High five. And Tom's like, oh, that right there's why that guy opened 15 restaurants and sold them
That's it that's it right there and Brian's trying to make Malarkey happen you guys
It's never gonna happen and Brian's like well, we'll help. We'll all have you guys the opening next year right right right
Right let me just call my wife. Okay, I need 15 napkins. I need three tables and you rest runs
Get it now get it now put it out. I don't care if you're feeding our children. Get it.
Matt, fuck this up and I'm withholding the rest of the lane.
Melissa's like, welcome to Sabrina, modern Asian California.
I'm like, mm, okay. But I like her.
Of course. Pushy's like, no, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got,
you got, you got, I'm going to drink water now. You got, you got, you got, no, I'm just going
to say that of course, because it's Melissa, she just effortlessly makes something absolutely
amazing. Just put it down because she can't do anything wrong.
She's like my grandma, but a romantic. She took ballroom dancing when she was 87,
became a master painter at 93, learned Spanish Spanish at 98 just so she could understand the people
raving about her new art career. She learns and spells and actually became a senior citizen
witch. So Stephanie's like, well, this was the most well-crafted dish we've had tonight.
Yeah.
It's much better than that shitty ass schnitzel that the frumpy girl over there said.
I think a lot of people frumpy tonight, but you know what though it works.
On top chef it works. There's a lot of frump to go around.
Yeah.
So the chefs start talking it over and they seem to like Greg and Malarkey.
The best, right?
Yeah. And Padma's like, did youarkey the best right yeah, and
Padmas like did you notice this of course she did but she goes well
I think we had a lot of great food and then she looks right at gallon goes let's unbutton our pants
All right, for those of us who are not wearing stretch fabric
Let's unbutton our pants and go the judges table
Gales just like why are you only looking at me
and laughing on a loop?
Yeah.
So then the judges table.
The tops are Gregory, Kevin, Malarkey, and Melissa.
And Padma's like, Gregory, we could see
what this restaurant looks like, tastes like,
feels like, because of you.
It's almost like when Gail tells us she found a can of anchovies, we're like, well, we know
what that certainly smelled like and looked like.
And Kevin's like, well, mine explains southern culture that is often overlooked.
Have I said blonde wood today because I would love to say blonde wood just because it
sounds great.
Has Kevin seen the food network?
Does he know that Southern culture is pretty well
represented on that over there?
No.
It's represented everywhere.
There's so many Southern food restaurants.
They're like, oh, it's an updated Southern.
Here's a $20 Mac and cheese, but guess what?
It's got gruel.
Guys, I got a great idea for a concept.
Elevated chicken and waffles.
Yeah, OK. I'll let that sink in for a second.
So Stephanie goes, I was blown away by your presence. Like, okay, Stephanie, calm it.
So, so then Kevin, Kevin, the evil Kevin's like, Malarkey, you said you want to cook for millennials,
Kevin, Kevin, the evil Kevin's like, Malarkey, you said you want to cook for millennials,
and as someone who is wearing a millennial haircut,
I have to say, I think they would dig it.
Such a millennial thing to say.
Yeah, hot Kevin.
It's like, yeah, they'd really dig it.
Yeah, and Tom's like, well, this too often,
you see pretty plates, the technique doesn't match up,
but that's not the case here.
Pretty technique, pretty plates the technique doesn't match up, but that's not the case here pretty technique pretty plates
Everything's pretty
So the first sees
I don't think of the name of the dead dog restaurant. Oh
The dead dog restaurant
Yeah, it's like Molly sees or
Called I kind of love that I love that name. Love that name, terrible food.
Terrible food, I don't know why we let the clean lady
enter the competition.
Oh wait, you're an actual chef.
Oh, okay.
You could put the rest of the staples on the desk and leave.
Oh, sorry, Stephanie.
Oh, for a moment, I thought that was our office manager.
Turns out she's an actual chef, Tess, and who's been on this show before?
How about that?
How about that?
Anyway, so the first winning concept is country captain,
because we love a iteration, and that's what we look for.
And Gregory, and so,
I can't even believe you didn't notice this.
That when Kevin won, he removed his hat to say thank you.
I thought that would bother you.
Yeah, I'm surprised I didn't see it.
I must have been looking down at the keys.
Yeah, he was like, thank you so much.
He took off his hat as if he was like the nationally Anthem was playing.
Thank you so much.
Oh, thank you.
This is the substitute to hands on my heart thing.
Hashtag Blast set it with my hat.
Yeah, so then the bottom.
Sorry, it was killing the spider.
Mm, that's okay.
Is it dead?
That's bad luck right to kill a spider,
but just come to you ask.
Couldn't save it, Telling.
I couldn't save you.
All right, climbing someone else's office so the Sony Morgan yeah so they win and then
partners like we'd like to see Eric Lee and Stephanie and the receipts for
whatever Gale's wearing so we get rid of it immediately
Stephanie should be Stephanie, right?
Like we all know at this point,
the eight is Stephanie some most.
Yeah, I'm surprised that Padma didn't do that thing
where she called the people to the bottom
and then said, Stephanie, you have immunity,
but if you didn't have immunity, you'd be going home.
Mostly on account of your hair,
it's terrible today, goodbye.
Yeah, they were evil to Stephanie
because they still made her go on the bottom so that people would blame her for them going home, you know?
Yeah, like, wow, she doesn't have low enough self-confidence.
Let's really make everyone hate her, even more.
Hey, remember when you tried to make Indian food for me, an Indian woman who had a keen man growing up?
Wow, what a mistake.
And the answer, well now I have a one and two
chance of going home right now because it's definitely has immunity. Yeah. Which is
funny because Stephanie went home because in the because of the same situation when when
she went home on her season, it was because that asshole who won top chef. Was it Philadelphia
or New Orleans? He was Nick. His name was Nick. He had immunity, but he was the one who should have gone home.
And their team lost because of him, but Stephanie had to go home.
Oh, man. So they start ripping into Eric and Eric's just like my bad, my bad, my bad.
I know. I know it was bad. I know it was bad.
Yeah. And they felt bad. And Kevin's like, well, the food fell sort and goes, yeah,
I basically fell on my face. And this Stephanie squints and nods at him.
Like, yep, pretty much, pretty much.
Yeah, exactly.
And then with Stephanie, evil Kevin, like, reiterates, he goes, um,
you know, the first thing we said is that it seemed like a no concept concept.
Hey, guys, remember when I said that?
Remember, Gale, do you remember?
Cosh, doesn't remember, she was stepping a face full of ho-hoes and chocolate fun, do.
Wait, who are you on now, Stephanie?
Stephanie, yeah.
Oh, I didn't even write anything down for Stephanie.
I'm so rude.
That's okay.
So then Leanne's like, I just wanted it to taste like on vacation.
You know, vacation on the run.
And Kevin's like, well, 90% of restaurants fail.
And the 10 that succeed have a point of view.
And this, just, I mean, come on.
Were you fucking kidding me with this?
And then Liam's like, sorry, I failed.
And the Stephanie's like, mm-hmm.
Yep, yep, you did.
Like damn, Stephanie's really evil with her nods today.
She really was, it was great.
Yeah, and Patmins like, you know, it's funny
that you should say that.
The 10% of the restaurants that succeed have a point of view,
because you know what Gales would be?
Deep fried shoulder pads, am I right?
Am I right, Tom?
You had to like that one, right?
Ali Wong, that was a joke, made a joke, Ali.
The issue today is execution and concept.
And Tom's like, yeah, I like Liam's name, but, you know,
bit, bit.
And then Gales, like, God, you know, I like Leon's name, but, uh, you know, bit, bit.
And then, uh, then, you know, and Kills, like, God, too bad about Eric.
He's been working on this idea for years.
And Stephanie goes, I still don't get it.
I mean, is it fine dining?
Is it a family restaurant?
What the hell?
And Kevin goes, I mean, it's just hard to eat.
And meanwhile, back in the stew room, as expected,
Leon was immediately on the couch with
the pillow in her lap.
She's like, my food may be on vacation, but I'll tell you what's home of this pillow.
I think we have our answer.
So then Tom some monologue.
He's like, and he doesn't really do a fun one because he's playing last chance kitchen.
This time he just goes, you guys, you're both good chefs.
And, uh, it was just a bad day, but we still have last chance
kitchen. Is any set piece going to roll in? That would be great.
Uh, could we have some rolling boxes in here so people will
think this is coming on right now on actual television instead
of the internet, like some cheap, uh, PayPal hooker.
That would be great.
Quiet time.
I'm working on making myself look like I'm about to cry.
I learned this trick from my good friend Lena with an actress.
Okay. Eric, please pack your knives and go.
Yeah, that was sad.
I was surprised actually.
I thought Leanne was definitely going to go.
Yeah. And Eric's like, well, this was humbling.
Tom goes. Yeah. Tom goes Tom goes, one bad day brother.
One bad day brother.
Oh my god, okay, Tom.
Yeah, it's been a problematic episode all the way around.
Basically.
No, but I thought it seemed like both of them
fucked up their food.
So at least I felt like these Eric's concept was
fresh and interesting.
But I guess that food must
have been really bad in his presentation even worse.
Yeah, it's weird to see because it's always a question, right?
Are they judging on just this challenge or the whole season so far?
Because if they were judging on the whole season, obviously it would be Leanne because
she's been in the bottom so many times now Yeah, I guess I think they do a challenge by challenge, which is why we have so many
People who've won the show that's kind of surprised and we're like wow. I'm surprised that that really that guy won really
Yeah, oh god, Jose. I will never forget that Jose. All right. Well. Yeah Nina when Nina lost to Nicholas. I mean so many. Yeah
Well, that brings us to the end of top server
We'll be back tomorrow to recap the season finale of Shaz of sunset and in the meantime go check out those small businesses that we mentioned at the top of the show and
Don't forget to sign up on patreon.com slash watch or crap ins to get bonus episodes and crap is on demand and all that fun stuff. We'll see you guys later. Bye everyone.
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