Watch What Crappens - TopChef: The White Elephant In The Room

Episode Date: December 22, 2018

It's Christmastime on "Top Chef," and this year we're making a list and checking it twice — just to make sure there's five different types of flour on it. Come join us for a very special holiday episode featuring Eric Ripert, Richard Blais, and the ghost of Gailmas past. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap-ins would like to think it's premium sponsors! Just sayin' okay! Watch what crapens would like to think it's premium sponsors! Just saying, okay?

Kristi, wow, or de-dowardy? Asli, Savoni? She don't take nobelone! Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the bird! Ain't no thing like Allison King. Megan the Slayer Taylor! Hot dang! It's Jessica Dang!

Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. Hannah, God, I love that banana. Anderson of a Nagila Weber. Lisa Wallent. Now that's what I call Wallentane Man. And our super premium Patreon subscribers. Susie, go on Toad to Tobin. Give them hell, Miss Noel. Kali Grant. The Grant Master. Mina Kuchikuchi. Let's get Racy with Miss St Stacy. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony! Incredible edible Matthew sisters.

And Lizzie Drucker, a fine mother f- Watch what crap bins! Watch what crap bins! Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap bins? What crap bins? What crap bins? What crap bins? What crap bins? What crap bins? Watch what crap bins? Hey everyone, welcome to Watch Our Crappins at Podcasts about all that crap we love to watch

on Bravo. I'm Ben Mandelker of the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island on YouTube, Episode 3, coming very soon. And joining me is the wonderful and hilarious man of the holidays. It's Ronnie Karam from Rose Pricks, Bachelors Podcast. What's going on? Well, hello, Bane. How are you on this lovely Friday morning?

Oh my God, I had karaoke night with my friends for like a little holiday party last night. So, you know, Tito's basically took a hammer to my brain. Hmm. But I'm doing good. I'm so excited to top, top shit. Me too. I did not I do not have two dose on my brain. I spent last night playing a board game called Tau Tuan and this morning I saw my good old buddy Horus the trainer and I am essentially dead. I

am a husk of a man just spending his last breaths pushing out words about Bravo. But quite the show to do it. I know, but as long as I do still have some air in my lungs, let's put it to good use. And let's show some shows. In case you didn't hear, we are going to a million places in 2019. Our first few shows are sold out, but then our next available show is Our first few shows are sold out, but then our next available show is Dallas in February. You've got to come to us in Dallas. It'll be amazing. We're actually doing two shows. The first show sold out.

Second show has been selling very nicely. So make sure you get your tickets to that while you still can. We also, this week we put on sale tickets in Arizona and Phoenix We're gonna go back there that was super fun when we did that in June so go get tickets to that We are going back to Washington DC. We are doing the 930 Club there Which is a huge awesome legendary venue. So come see us there. That is almost sold out We are down to the last few tickets for that one. We have a second show in Boston.

The first show is sold out. We are also going back to Irvine. We're going right back into the heart of Orange County. So if you're from San Diego or LA and feel like making a tiny road trip, go do it. We'll be doing the trip ourselves. Hey, Maniford and DOC, come join us. That'll be hilarious and fun. And then of course, last but not least, the thing that I'm extremely excited about is that we are going to Vancouver, Canada, for just for laughs, Northwest. We had truly an amazing time in Montreal.

Over the summer going to just for laughs. And we came back with so many stories. I think we did two bonus episodes, of stories based on just for laughs. So if you want to see what that's all about and if you are in like Seattle or that area or just in Canada in general, go to Vancouver and see us there, it's going to be amazing. As always, everything you need to know is on watchrocraftens.com and while you're there you can also get all sorts of crap and submerge all our limited edition t-shirts and things like that all our patterns They have returned for the holiday season So if you missed out on getting you know, what's the matter? What's happening? What's going on t-shirt?

Guess what you can get it now for a extremely limited time and By popular popular requests people keep asking us what is our Address because people just want to send stuff who knows what but We finally got our act together and got ourselves a little mailbox so the address is now at www.wantrocropons.com as well everything you could possibly want people is there. Exhale that felt good did I get everything running. That was a lot. Yeah and I felt like I said it in a coherent way today which was nice it's always pleasant when I can stay coherent.

Mm-hmm. Yes, you were a very coherent. Thank you. Thank you so much. It was great. I need comrades. I have a lot of likes. I've looked around. Yeah. I wrote a check out for my rant for next month. That's good. I also want to say that we are going to be doing a new show on Monday. Chris, we will be there'll be a Vanderpump rules recap with none other than Laura Marie

Schainhals of SexyNique podcast. So, just because the world on vacation does not mean that crap ends is. So definitely keep an eye out for that episode on Monday. Yes, and then we're going to have the preview for Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. We're going to save that for the media year. Yeah. Just hold tight because we're talking about it, but we're going to do that on January 1st. Yeah, we're going to burst into 2019 with the Beverly Hills trailer.

Yes. But today, let's get into top chef's three. Our first full recap of the season. Yes, top chef. I'm thoroughly enjoying the season so far. Although I always enjoy it. What am I saying? But I really am enjoying this one. I feel like I have already a lot of people who I dislike and like and that makes me feel excited. Yeah, I just like that Padme's robotiness is like moved to her arm now. I'm really enjoying her. Still not enjoying Graham very much, and they brought on Richard Blaze, who really makes me crazy. And mostly it's just because he unhinders his job when he talks.

I've never seen a mouth open that wide. And it rubs me. And I'm a big mouth mother fucker. But still, I'm like, you know, close your mouth. I don't like him because he's been overly media-trained. And so he's like spent too much time on other food shows and he's just getting kind of like, hi, I'm on TV and it's just it's not really what it's not the vibe I'm

looking for because Padma and Tom have like a very relaxed chemistry and they're just their personas are just so relaxed so Richard Blaise is like affected now. Like he's clearly been a guest judge on cupcake genocide on the Food Network or whatever it's called. You know, like, so like, now, you know, we don't, it's just, it's, he's got to say come through the cookies. We didn't know what says anything.

But, I do have to say, I mentioned, I feel like I mentioned this earlier this week, but I feel like I'm mentioning this because I feel like it's relevant to what we're discussing today that after like eight years, I finally went to Tom Clikio's restaurant here in Los Angeles Kraft. I went there on Tuesday. How was it? It was delicious. Oh my god, it was so good.

I loved it. I'm like, I cannot believe I haven't been going here all this time. I thought it was fantastic. What'd you eat? So the way it's done is that it's all sort of like family style. So, you know, the food is actually, it's very simple.

It's very simple food. Just like, don't write. No, just, what I like, just don't write food. But it was basically, like, simple food, just like, don't write food. But it was basically, like we got, it was like a birthday dinner for my friend Diana. Diana who was by the way a witness to the time, she was with me that time that we ran into Countess Luan having lunch with Lisa Renna. So Diana has a very special place, I feel like like in this podcast world that people don't realize. So, but anyway, I don't know why I brought that up. Why would I bring that up? It's a stupid reference.

I just have a lot of things on my mind mainly because I read that TV guide thing of the top 46 Housewives of 2018. So it's family style and I, so we had like two salads. It was like a shredded kale salad, an avocado salad. We got a Berkshire pork thing for the table. There was a pasta that had like sausage in it. There was a flank steak. I think it was a flank steak. We got a side of mushrooms, some potato groutin, and some cauliflower. Kind of like very clean, simple dishes. The sort of stuff that you would almost

see in a cookbook, if that makes sense. Like I got like a modern cookbook, but it was just executed flawlessly. Just the vibe was right in there, the food was delicious. I think that if people are coming to Los Angeles, you know, a lot of times our listeners when they come to LA, they make sure they go to pump and serve, you know, for the novelty of it. But you know what? Tom Clikio is one of the veteran legacy stars of Bravo, and I cannot recommend going to Craft Highly enough. Well, there you go.

That sounds good, actually. I mean, you would love it. I think. Oh, there was a salmon. There was a salmon that was like, it was just sensational that salmon. It's just so perfectly done. But it's our warm potato salad. But was there beat soo?

Tell me what Chef Joe came up with and maybe I might be damn dead. Exactly. But that was just like the, that was just the update, the Tom Cliqueo update, the IRL Tom Cliqueo update. Earl. Earl. In real life. So, Earl.

So now let's get into this recap because there is a lot to get to today. Mostly how much I don't like Richard Blaze. Yeah. Yeah, we can do it. Let's enjoy it. I know this is going to be a cute episode because it starts with ducks like crossing a street, which you know, I love a duck. Yeah, me too. I really love a duck. Okay. And then Neenie's getting ready and she's like, I'm a little overwhelmed. I don't know if anybody respects me. But I won. So these, not maybe not respect me. And I just like that she's talking all deep about getting respect. So she kind of plays with her ponytail on the mirror. I'm really liking Neenie. Yeah. Oh, I love Neenie. She's my favorite by far. I have to tell you who I'm not loving is Eddie. Eddie

is the one who screwed over his entire team last week by By ordering like three thousand dollars worth of Lamb and then everyone had like a amount of money to buy like one jar of time So sorry, okay. Yeah, he's like I feel just like really sad about sending my team to the bottom like You know, I'm not trying to be a villain. I'm not I'm just I just feel so bad I'm like, you know what just relax enough just move forward like can we please'm not trying to be a villain I'm not I'm just I just feel so bad I'm like you know what just relax enough just move forward like can we please like not don't remind us about it it's hard for me to know whether or not I can respect it because the chef

is supposed to be like a drunken heroin addict yeah so when he's like I'm feeling so guilty brah and then he paragreno binge or he pellagreno benches I'm like, I need some more heroin. So I mean, respect. You know, like far be it for me to be angry that he's actually being like, he feels bad for people. He's not being a selfish prick. Like so many other contestants on this show in over the seasons. But I just feel like it's like that self-serving.

Like, oh, I just, I feel really bad. Ooh, like droopy face. Like, I'm like, I don't just, I feel really bad. Like droopy face like, I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. The jury's out for me. Like I, he was so far. I'm kind of liking him because he's very tightly round and he looks miserable. Like just in general, like as a human being, like he looks really sad and he's really little, which, you know,

as we know as men, that's like a big thing. Height, you know, like, you know, and he's like little and he's very tightly wound, he looks sad and he looks like he's about to blow. And I really like that Michael Douglas movie where he's like the angry white guy who's just kind of like sick of the world's shitting on him and then he just goes crazy.

Yeah, and just starts taking root people hostage. Yeah. And that's kind of how I feel with this little at the guy. I feel like he's just about to go Michael Douglas. I need him with some horned rim glasses. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

Well, I don't know. I don't know. I feel like it's like a little bit of like a self-serve pity party, self-serve the pity party, self-serving. It's probably a pity party with some self-serve. Let's be honest. like a self-serve pity party self-serve pity party self-serving It's probably a pity party with some self-serve. Let's be honest So I come so sorry I spent $19,000 on myself served. Yeah, sorry guys. There's no yogurt left for anybody else So they go to the they go to the quick fire kitchen and it's all decorated like Christmas and stuff. And there's Richard Blaze and also Brooke who won a few years ago.

Yeah, I'm really loving how, I'm loving Brooks makeover and she got it last year after she won. There's something that they do to these people once they win. It's like they put them through a car wash. Yeah, you know, it's like they just like strap them to the chains and like make them go through the car wash and then they come out with like decent hair and you know, spanks or whatever.

Yeah, because Richard Blaze got it too. Yeah, I wish they would have finished his mouth maybe a little, but otherwise like I like Brooke and it doesn't bother me that she's a past winner, but it bothers me that Blaze is a past winner. And I don't know why. Well, it's like you're part of the cast. Why do I have to listen to you talk about everybody else? It's like when you're in class and they're like so bad. Why don't you give Ronnie notes on his

I'd be like okay, you know, I know Like you like that and it's gonna die I will kill Ben in the market watch Richard Richard Blaze is like the guy who like Graduates from high school goes off to college and then comes back during the break and be like, yeah, I've been in college guys. What's going on? You know, like, yeah. Oh, yeah.

You know, my friend went to London for a summer in high school and she came back and she's like, oh, what a lovely time riding the tube. I was like, oh, shut up. Yeah, my friend did that too. She came back, she was saying brilliance, brilliant brilliant. Oh, that's brilliant. Yeah So David who's the guy from New Jersey from Tom's hometown. He's like, oh my god. It's Richard Blaze He's like I have such a man crush on Richard Blaze and they just cut to Brooks face Which is just like oh that is so sad for you sir. I don't even know who you are

But you have a man crush on this guy. Really? Stan close enough. He'll gleeke you. I can guarantee it. Yeah. Yeah. And also, he's kind of a kiss-ass sister as a guy. It's on my nerves because I have a feeling he's the biggest bitch in there, but he's he's overly nice. He's like a QVC host. He's like Richard Blaze. Oh, Richard Blaze. What a man. And wasn't either one last week. He's like, oh, I've got such a crush on Gale. Look, everybody's gonna come through here and get cramed all over.

Like, sir, come on. Yeah, and then in the first episode, he's like, I said, I want to be the best chef to come out of Elizabeth New Jersey. And then I looked to see who else came out of it. It was Tom Collicchio, my bad. Now, I just want to be the second best chef. I'll totally defer to Tom.

I'm like, you, you're totally trying to trick everybody and you're really a bitch. He has Kistass every single episode to a different judge. It's gross, especially when you're sweaty. Yeah. I'm a sweaty person. I don't Kistass when I'm sweaty. I wait till I'm presentable.

You can't. You have to be out. You have to look, you don't want to have a situation like last week where Padma Stairs are doing You have to look. You don't want to have a situation like last week where Padma Stairs of you and says, why don't you finish wiping off your dot, dot, dot. Finished wiping off your lip sees and we'll get back to this. So then we, so now they start talking about Christmas traditions

and Richard Blazes like in my household, we have really big thing for us is an elf on the shelf. In fact, sometimes we get the elf in the shelf involved with the cooking and breakfast like, my elf in the shelf will compete with Richard's top, with your elf on the shelf and then Pam and just goes, my top elf will judge. Yeah, my elf on the shelf will judge your elf on the shelf.

Maybe we can even get a guest appearance by Gail's large elf on a patio. Have you guys ever played Gail on a shelf? It's a good test to see how strong your shelves are. When you have Gail on a shelf, she doesn't tell your kids that gifts are coming. She eats them so they can never find them again The best part about gal and a shelf that she always winds up on the floor By her own choice It's where she's most comfortable

You're playing gal on the floor I write down everything Pat and her says I like that she goes so Richard Do you have holiday traditions with your family? I like that too. I write down every single thing because it's like, everything she says cracks me up. It's just she can make anything sound like the most devilish question. But also the jubilation.

Do you have Christmas traditions? He's like, no, we actually have no traditions at Christmas. It's just that it's just only the biggest national, essentially national holiday of the year, no traditions. So anyway, well, you have 30 minutes to create your best holiday dish. Then two minutes to shop in the pantry in these giant gift boxes. You can only cook from things in your boxes. Afterwards, you all have a chance to rescue Gail from a Vada Vegnog. Whoever can get Gail out of that Vada Vegnog before she sucks the entire thing into her gut wins.

Bless her heart. We call these boxes Gail-sized. Go! Bless her heart. We call these boxes Gail sized go You have to go raid the pantry and use whatever you can find that Gail hasn't gone too already So that means a piece of wood a mouse trap and some penicillin Wait, she's half done with the penicillin, better hurry. Oh, she just put her finger in the mouse trap. I knew we shouldn't have put any cheese in there. Wink, wink. Oh, so yeah, so they have to make their favorite holiday dishes

in just 30 minutes. And so the lens crafters nerd is like, I start to be on it. I'm just grabbing flower flower more flower. I hate him by the way. He is like the first episode he annoying me is like I want to show that a small town with three people and it can cook. I was like okay settle down and then he did something last week that oh no the first week he made like he made, he put like beats and goat cheese together and it's like um you're on top chef, not top cafeteria. And then now like I figured we did last week but now here like it's a pantry rush and he grabs five different types of flour.

And I was actually shocked as like somehow Eddie didn't take everything you know like because you know Eddie was probably going there grab every single ingredient like, oh, I feel so bad. No one has anything. Yeah, that's what he said though. He's like, I got everything I could possibly get. He's just on supermarkets sweep, just having everything he can in there. Oh, so they get all their staff and Padman's like, stop. Let's play a holiday holiday game. Have you ever heard of white gale? It's a game where you pass gale around and say, look how white she is. So it's where we see who can judge Gail's pastiest part on her body. Anyone ever heard of White elephant? It's what Gail will be having for dinner tonight. It's elephant and Beshamell sauce. Speaking about presents and gifts and things like that, can we talk about a really fun,

lovely gift for the holidays that people will really, really enjoy? It's the time of year when everyone is thinking about thoughtful gifts. Think about giving yourself the gift of an audible membership. Now is the best time to do it with a special offer. Access in a pitiful selection of audiobooks, including bestsellers, motivation, mysteries, thrillers, memoirs, and more, baby. I use it because I love to read, but I also love to cook and occasionally move around my apartment.

And so I don't want to sit there in my bed all the time. I can't cook in bed. So I get the audible versions of my books. Currently I'm listening to my husband's secret, okay. And it is amazing. It's a Leanne Moriarty. Moriarty. Moriarty. Moriarty. I don't know. She Kathy's sister. I don't know. Just called Elmo, L-Mo. Let's see, is the woman who wrote big little lies, which the HBO show is based on. And I'm doing it while I cook. So thanks a lot. Yes, tell everyone where they could find audible right now for a limited time. You can get three months of audible for just 695 a month. That's more than half

off the regular price. Give yourself the gift of listening. And while you're at it, think about giving the gift of audible to someone on your list for more good audible.com slash crap ends or text crap ins to 500 500 that's audible dot com slash crap ins or text crap ins to 500 500 thanks audible um let's go back to top chef shall we? hmm hmm so yeah they're playing quite elephant and uh Brian who's kind of like a grown upup Napoleon Dynamite, he's just like so over it. He's like, it's called a Yankee Swap. My box is terrible. I kind of love this guy's negative attitude.

Yeah, he's like, doesn't even want to be there. He was basically a PA that they were like, we need another cast member, so you go in there. So, I forget who gets the first box. Maybe it's like Pablo or something and the second guy with a box of courses Eddie and guess what he does he steals a box. Of course, Eddie, like I don't want to be the villain. The first thing he does, he steals a box. Well, you're supposed to. I love your hate for Eddie. No, but like here, but here's the thing is that like he, he was so early on there were so many boxes He could have just like rolled the dice on a box and instead he just like he stole a box

Knowing full well that it probably would gotten stolen from him anyway, so like like that's why I'm sorry. He's trying to play the nice guy, but the first thing he does he steals a box. Well, there are nice burglars No, no, no. Maybe a burglary. They can burglare, for example. Everyone's dealing with this. I don't know if this shoe is very nice. Yeah, so I guess he stole from David.

And then David gets another box, and he gets stolen from again. And I- Kelsey is doing this thing that's reminding me of Britney from Vanderpump Rules and it's not just because she's Southern, it's because she's like really laying on that Southern sweet thing a little teeth thick and I have a feeling she's gonna push somebody down the stairs probably end.

Yeah, probably. I have y'all can sleep in that because I'm watching you. Yeah, so someone gets stuck with Kevin's box. I have y'all can sleep in that because I'm watching you So someone guess stuck with Kevin's box. I think it's Justin and it's it, you know And that's the box has five different kinds of flower and even the producer shade him They the Kaira when it shows the content. It just goes flower flower flower flower flower Funny So let's see here. And then they all get to cook here.

And then also Neenie. But I also want to say that Neenie took Sarah's box. Sarah's the one from Kentucky. She's the one who's like, can you make a biscuit? Cause I can make a biscuit. Can you make a Benedictine? I can do that. I can do that.

Yeah. So Neenie gets stuck with Sarah's box and Sarah's box doesn't have any protein. So it's like, of course. Of course, like the awful people make awful boxes. Yeah, Sarah's seen, like she has, yeah, she has awful written all over her. But I'm still liking her. I do still like her in a weird way.

But she seems to be awful. Sarah's like, yeah, well, I was the only Jewish kid in town. So I got couscous. And my mom would make chopped liver instead of schmaltz. We'd make schmaltzie schmaltz pork pork. And then Padma's like, whoa, if I got this at Passover, I'd be Jewish. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, except for that whole pork part, Padma. So then I also, you know, like Brandon, he,

Brandon's, that's why I think the camera, like, lingered on it for a moment, like, oh, Padma. That's funny. So then, yeah, I mean, like literally, she's like, it was like a pork fat dish. She's like, if I had this at Passover, I'd be giving it to every rabbi I knew.

I was like, oh. So, I like Brandon, the blonde guy who goes, he's like the other, he's also a douchebag. He's like, my Christmas tradition is that we have a Christmas dinner and we make ornaments. I was like, wow, you are really original. Like, congrats. Thanks for, thanks for like giving us a peek into what a special type of tradition you have. Yeah, a regular old Norman Schlockwell over there. Yeah, and then any makes a like a carrot dish because he didn't really, you know, like he got stuck with just like carrots and some spices or whatever.

And Madden was like, um, let me guess. You got me any. Yeah. I can tell it's very spicy. It's just like the way you can always tell a gal box because it's full of old shoes and eggs. So then Richard plays ass brand in. So Richard, how do you feel about the temperature on this meat? And I'm like don't try and be pat, okay? Don't want things in question so you didn't mean those questions. Yeah, exactly.

And then meanwhile also with Justin who stuck with Kevin's box, not only did Kevin get five types of flowers, but he got no eggs, so there's nothing you can do with the flower. This guy's awful, and then on top of that, oh I guess this later on, I'll just say it now. Later on he talks about how at family functions, he doesn't do any cooking. And I'm like, you know what, you are a dick.

I'm sorry, you're a chef. And you are not gonna cook for your family. You're gonna just, I'm sorry, I'm not for that. I feel like that's like when you should be making everyone feel like they're so lucky that they have this great chef in the in the they probably don't let them cook they're probably like you made it you made a salt cake

yeah nobody wants that sir yeah yeah exactly like you put like a flower garnish when we asked for a flower garnish we meant like edible flower not flower dough yeah and then Pablo from Miami is like, I made the little Polkety bone in. And I was like, what's the to bone in? And it was a T-bone with a pork with the bone in. With a potato roasty.

Yeah. And then this is one of the things that Top Chef does. It always cracks me up where they make you feel stupid for liking something totally normal. Yeah. Because Rick's like, oh god, I haven't seen a roasted potato. Years. Like it's so hacky to do a roasted potato.

Yeah. The fuck, brook, it's Christmas dinner, okay. Roasted potatoes are good. It wasn't quite a roasted potato. It was something called potato roasty. Ha ha ha. R-O-S-T-I. I don't know what it was.

That to me, it looks fine. But yeah, Brooke was like, wow, I haven't seen those for years. And Blaze's looks fine, but yeah, brok was like wow have it to those for years and blaze like It's like the ghost of Christmas past. I'm like you know what else is fohawks Close your mouth Richard. Yeah, I just don't like that I'm now feeling guilty because I like roasted potatoes fuck you guys, okay? Brookin well, I'm gonna look at what a potato roast is because I feel like it's actually different the hold on I'm gonna see I don't potato roast is because I feel like it's actually different. The hold on. I'm gonna see. I don't know. Pablo's so on the nose though.

He just says things so fast and his accent that it sounds like he's making something new and exciting. So a potato roast. But then a rusty. A potato roast is different. It looks delicious and I would never shade it. It looks like it's a whole bunch of... It looks like a giant lochka, basically, according to Google. It looks like it's kind of like a big potato pancake. So I don't really know what their problem is,

because I think it looks fantastic. I don't like it. I've believe been standing up for your friends, and I'm friends with potatoes. Yeah, I also... I don't care what you do to that potato. I will eat it. I will eat it raw.

I'll eat it like an apple, I don't care. Also, the other thing is, I'm okay with Brooks Shade, when she's like, wow, I haven't seen one of these these in years because that's like Shade and it's hilarious but then when Richard pals on with like it's like the ghost of Christmas past it's like you know what no let Brook just have her shade like do be shady don't be like food networking because that's what it was that was a food network like sound bite that he just piped in there you know yeah I like to feel like saying you both took two turns like you both needed two seasons to win.

So shut up, both of you. So meanwhile, Kelsey, she got stuck with Brian's shitty box, which was like aparagus and like panchetta. And Kelsey, like she plates it, and I love her attitude. She's like, I like the way my plate looks. It's black green, it's pretty, but it's stupid. And then she serves it to the judges and says, it's like her play on like bacon wrapped asparagus and Padmeco's

Hmm. My gift is not wrapped in bacon She would be someone who would say that about every gift she ever received. Yeah Well, my my's gail the only one that gets everything wrapped in bacon. Oh, my bad. I thought that was bacon. Turns out it's just a used cheesecloth. Gail, take that out of your mouth. Bless her heart.

Well, I thought that was just bacon, but it's, it's Gail sleeping on the couch wrapped in her favorite blanket. I'd like to read from my favorite Christmas poem. It was the night before Christmas and all the house, not a creature was stirring, not even gal. Even though there were cookies downstairs. Just kidding, she was chewing on Christmas lights. So Eric made roasted chicken and Richard's like, whoa, this is a lesson in embalming.

Why do you have to make everything make me hate you? Everything he says. I know, like one after the other, after the other. It's like sounds delicious. It's like dude, you are not on food network star, okay? Can you just like dial it back a little bit? Mm. So then, um,

it's not take the place back in Jersey. It's like, I have Richard Blazes for. I know. Now take the plates back and jerseys like I have Richard blazes I'm like you really need to up your standards in life so then the Padma gathers them all together and she's like Okay, let's get some bad news out of the way Gal is stuck in a chimney. Can anyone help? So the bottom are Eddie, Justin, and Kelsey, and I was like very happy that Eddie was at the bottom. What did he make again? You just already said it, but I don't remember.

Carrots! Oh yeah! Your carrots were muddled! Yeah, and then Justin was stuck with that flower situation and Kelsey would disperse guess and then the top are Sarah with her Passover on friendly pork thing David and Neenie so David actually wins David from Elizabeth yes and then and then I thought well that ass kissing sure worked you know yeah and then Madden was like congrats you're on roll, like the butter on the roll that Gail's currently shoving down her face, while she's waiting for someone to save her from the chimney.

You're on a roll, much like Gail and every fantasy she's ever had. So, yeah, when she says congrats, you want immunity. I don't know if you noticed this because you probably did because you were fixating on Blaze as much as I was. Blaze makes this face like, oh my god bro that's amazing. Like that's what his face does. He has like a slack jaw and like, oh I'm like, are you like dude, this is like you've been on this show. Okay, like this is not a shocking development.

The immunity from QuickFire is dare I say standard like cheese, like save this for chops, not for shocking development. The immunity from QuickFire is dare I say standard, like cheese, like save this for chops, not for top chef. So whoo, and then again, David, put himself down because Brick's like, whoa, you won last week too? Well, I'm the QuickFire queen. Brad was like, she's the QuickFire queen. And he's like, well, there's already a QuickFire queen.

So maybe I could just be the quickfire prince. Okay. I don't know how to play poker. Yeah. I have no idea. I hope you guys don't take all of my money. Yeah. Exactly.

Exactly. So now the gang goes home to their mansion and it's all, you know, decorated, took like the holidays and everything and income, Tom and Graham, Tom's like, oh, it's the holidays, even though we're shooting this in late May in Kentucky, it's the holidays. Last week you were sweating over bourbon, and this year it's Santa class time. So here we are, you know holiday cheer. Yeah, I've got a sweater and Graham's got his white glasses on so you know, we wanted to do a lot of nice little dinner and We have some friends. Here we go. Here's not Gale Simmons. All right

Look, Derek. We're back and we're like oh my god And we're like, oh my god, it's Alex! And then Graham goes, that just happened, that just happened. I'm like, you know what just happened? Saying that, okay, it's over. I hate that, you know that's like one of my long-standing things that I hate is when people write on Facebook or on Instagram, this just happened.

That just happened. I'm like, just saying, just saying, or on Instagram, this just happened. That just happened. Like, just saying, just saying, please, please, up your game. That just happened, just saying. Yeah. So then, I just say and shamed everybody, I felt a lot of hurt feelings out there

from people like, I just wrote that this morning. So sorry everybody, you know what? Let's just ease ourselves right out of that one. Yeah, let's ease that, that just happened. Guys, that just happened. So I's ease that, that just happened. Guys, that just happened. So I just said that. That just happened. Padma shows up on the door.

She's like, Mary Christmas, happy holidays. Or Padma, she's like shows up after everyone's freaking out over repair. Everyone's like, oh, it's Padma. Yeah, she's like stuck with the door. She's like at the window tapping at it. I feel like a streeter, Chin. Someone feed me. Oh, wait's like stuck with the door. She's like at the window tapping at it. I feel like a street urchin. Someone feed me. Oh wait, that's gale talking. My gale is growling, starving. Please sir, can gale have some more? So then they all gather around and they're staring food at this table, which as we all,

as anyone who watches Top Chef knows, this is a huge trap. So they're all serving food at one point. You hear Pam go, what's that? Brussels sprouts? It looks like old tires shredded up. Am I right, Gail? Oh wait, force of habit. Oh, and Tom's like, usually, you know, like Christmas, we have a tradition where

we serve seven dishes or something, no one's paying attention to me because I have a really boring tradition. Padma, and she's like, our Christmas tradition in my house. Krishna writes a letter to Santa or Satan, depending on whether she's with me or her father. The dad isn't Salman, right? No. So she's like this year, she said a trap for Santa. Unfortunately, Gail tried to get to the cookies first. So she's hung from a chandelier right now. We try to get a crampus to come over and remove her, but even crampus doesn't want to deal with her.

That's her heart. If anything happens to buy anything else for Krishna. She's just taking a bat to go, waiting for Kandhi to fall out. The good news, she didn't get to the cookies. The bad news looks like one of her legs has to be amputated. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I know I really love that actually. Chris no the evil Padma child. Yeah, exactly. So then this is where Kevin's like, I don't ever cook for family functions. I'm like, okay, great.

I bet your family hates you now. Like, how do you not do that? Yeah. Um, and then, and on top of that, Kevin says how he was working at Danielle, which is Danielle Belude's restaurant, like his super famous, like four star restaurant in New York.

And he was offered, like he was offered a super prestigious job there and he turned it down to move back to wherever he was. Started a new life with the love of his life. I'm like, okay, so you basically have no judgment, okay? You made beat and go cheese salad for the first challenge. You picked five types of flour for a quick fire. You don't cook during a cooking central holiday. And on top of that, you turn down like a prestigious job

to like go to back to your town, where like you could have started a life in New York too. Yeah, you turned down training to go back to some girl on the Hick Town, like where's she going? Yeah. Still be there after you learned stuff for a year. I remember the last time we heard someone do this was the first girl on the show who got kicked off. So there, remember she turned down Italy?

Yeah, people don't like when you're like, oh yeah, I turned down a learning experience for love. Like fuck you, we're chefs. You don't get love, you're chefs. Yeah, love can adapt. Yeah, you have addiction and anger issues, okay? That's why you make delicious food. Yeah, love can adapt. Yeah, you have addiction and anger issues. Okay. That's why you make delicious food. Yeah. So people need not apply, Kevin. Yeah. Exactly. And so Neemie is then tells the story about how her brother died from cancer two weeks after

Christmas a few years ago, which of course was like gutting, instantly gutting. Yeah, insta gut insta gut. And then Padma's like, well, there's one more piece to this and repairs like, oh, what the show, okay, the 13th dessert in France, we have 13 desserts. And look, of course, identically, they'll 13th of you. And then we're like, it's a pair of zombies. Oh my god. Yeah, Tom's like, how come he knew 13 desserts? 13 chefs. 13 minutes until Gale storms into the kitchen and raids the pantry.

So they have to cook dessert in the kitchen at the house. Yeah, and there's time starts now. Hmm. So then Kelsey's like, the only other chef who has dessert experience is me and I'm the only person who's had a baby by choice. I was like and how is that baby that you left behind to cook in the corner of a kitchen. How is that baby? Oh, but why did you do that? Sorry. Is your baby named Kurt Cameron because it's starring in a movie called Left Behind. Is your baby named Kurt Cameron because it looks like it may have some growing pains.

Is your baby a toddler because you're a gone girl. Is your baby Tony Danza? Because it's probably asking who's the boss. not my mom. She's not here. Get it I hope your baby's not John Travolta because you won't be there to tend to it Saturday night fever Hey, is your baby an alien that likes cats? Is it named Alphas in Al feeling sad right now? bad right now. That's my other fish in Fort Fest today, okay? I'm breathing in snot as I laugh. I don't think that's lost on me, everybody.

Recovery from a cold slo-hah-hah-hah. Thanks for laughing at Ben. Did you mean to take a commercial break right now? Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle and we're the host of Wonder 's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions.

What deserve session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums?

Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering app. So, let's see here, the douche bag. Okay, now I feel so bad for not liking this guy, because he really, I'm just expecting him to be an asshole, but he really hasn't done anything yet to be an asshole. Which ones? Uh, white guy.

Erion guy. Well, the first episode he was sort of a douchebag. He hasn't been as douchebag, but the first episode he was douchebag. But yeah, he is hot. I mean, I feel like, I don't, I mean, I think I don't know. In an Arian way. In an Arian way. I think he looks like a hairless guy.

He is. He has just very nice skin and like nice blonde. It's very just very, like hot in a super Arian way. If you're looking for an Aryan thing So he's then we we are reminded which I forgot this me to the preview episode We did that he is a person who has a family chocolate place called like Leigh Gold's phantasm a phantasmagoric chocolate, phytoric chocolate chocolate. Yeah, yeah It has McGoric, Chocolate, Fatoric, Chocolate Chocolate, Bacteric.

Yeah, it's like a very strange thing, and his role as a child was to pluck the odd shapes chocolates off the conveyor belt. And he's like, and there were a lot of odd shaped chocolates. And so then I got resentful that this kid spent his entire childhood like eating chocolate and then like comes out looking like relatively in shape. Yeah, it's not fair.

No, it's not. So meanwhile, Kevin is like dumping an entire thing of salt into his ricotta cheese because he's making it a ricotta cake, which already just even the ricotta cake just sounds bland. He's extremely impressed with his like YouTube video tutorial of making ricotta. Because he didn't keep you that last week. Yeah, I think he did. And the thing is that ricotta cheese is one of the easiest cheeses to make for a home cook.

Like I can't make any cheese except, I've only made it try to once. But the point is that it's the one cheese that doesn't require anything special. You just basically, don't you put whole milk, boil whole milk and put some lemon in it and just sift it through something It's like congrats. Yeah, you did it. He's like I make toast. Yeah, I'll do myself. Yeah, exactly

and then The Napoleon dynamite Brian is like I just you know, I just cut to me because like I don't bake and you know, I just cut to me because like, I don't bake. And most chefs like, we know how to make biscuits. So I'm going to make a shortbread biscuit. Yeah, I'm like, am I supposed to be impressed by you like willfully not preparing for the show? Yeah, he's like, we should all have something in our back pocket. Oh, I don't. It's like, okay, well, congrats. You're given a huge national opportunity. Very high-profiling decided not to spend like the 90 minutes it would take to memorize a simple cake recipe.

Yeah, no kidding. Make some cookies. Like cookie recipes is like the easiest thing to do. You know, literally make a cookie. Yeah, make a cookie cup and put a little ice cream. I mean, come on, something, dude. Yeah, make a cookie cup and put a little ice cream. I mean, come on, something to you. Yeah, yeah. So, and then Justin's making cheese and fruit.

I don't know why I wrote that down. So then at one point, someone goes, do not open the bottom of it. I think it was Kelsey. Like do not open the bottom of it. And then they cut to Sarah who's like trying to cook something on a toaster oven. She's like, well, this doesn't fucking work. Oh, she just goes right over to the bottom of it and they cut to Sarah who's like trying to cook something in a toaster oven she's like well this doesn't fucking work she just goes

right over to the bottom of it and opens it up and the music does that like shing sound because she I guess like really serious like she opened the bottom of it but the same time like bitch you just yelled don't open the bottom of it I know but everybody has to use these Evans you know it's her fault it was Kelsey and it's Kelsey's fault for trying to make Macaron. I mean those are not easy to make yeah, those are difficult That's and she was trying to show her skill level, you know

But you can't do that with oh with the first of all in an oven that you don't know the temperature of because those are finicky The second one is being opened over and over again. I don't know how anybody got anything cooked back I yeah, what do you think is harder to do to make something set in the freezer or to cook something in the oven in this sort of environment where the doors are opening and closing? The oven. It's harder. Yeah, I think so too.

Yeah, I think so. Because the freezer is surrounded by other frozen stuff. So it's kind of like being in a, you know, what my thinking, those things you carried a soccer game to put so this is. No, like, you ice pack. No, the big bot cooler. Cooler. Yeah, cooler. It's such a hard word to come up with. I was. I think that keeps things cool? You really galed it up so So Eric repair and Tom now do like a tour of the kitchen where they just like walk around and they just look Incredulously at everyone and they're like oh my god. This is a disaster. They go through they have some words with everyone and then they come back outside At Padmas like so what did you see the making in the kitchen and Tom goes

oh a mess get it get it was it a sweet mess or was it more of a gale mass was it like the time that gale got into the swizzle sticks and wound up doing snow angels on the dining room floor. That looks like a producing mess or a consuming mess. A or gal. So Kelsey's like, this is brutal. So because her oven is all messed up. And then they talk to Eddie and he's like, oh my god, I'm doing a plan of like, I don't know, like a shortcake here in Mesou, but like, I don't really know. I don't have a brain for measuring things, sometimes like, wow.

Like guys, like guys, an idiot, and sweating all over the place, and not really sure what to make of him. He's like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I don't want to be a villain. Please. I'm just, I'm so nervous, so what I'm trying to do is like, regulate the temperature in this room by opening the freezers and opening the ovens at the same time So we can get like a nice flow of hot and cold air. That's all. I'm just trying to open them up a little bit 45 minutes So the freezer now is not cold enough as you mentioned Kelsey has to change her macaron to other things

so now she's doing a milking cookie plate, which worries me. Yeah. And let's see here, Kevin. I've recada, God. And then he has a big, dish taste it. And he's like, that is really salty, bra. And he's like, well, it's really hard to unseason things.

So just make more recada. Just make more recada. Just make more recada. Yeah. Or why don't you just make more recada? up butter in it. Yeah, or why should just make more of a cotta? Yeah, would like under salted, you know? Yeah. So now they all come to present their food and as they they all arrive with their desserts and Pamma just looks at them and goes, looks promising. It's like it's as promising as going to stew liners without gal and being like oh good for ones I can get all the groceries I want and then you turn around the corner and there's gal gnashing on a cantaloupe

So let's see the Brazilian dude may Raspberry you know that I made some raspberry I love the like like he made a what do you make he made a dark chocolate coffee and black pepper ganache raspberry thing He was like very upset because like I wanted to look like a certain way, but like the raspberries were like not pretty So there's that Eddie's strawberry shortcake Brian made his sweet savory biscuit with pickled coconut which yeah Neenie made a black blackberry lemon and David made a banana cream cheese trifle and then at this point in the in a judging

Palmas stops and goes I Just realized I've only gone through less than half of these I have the dessert shakes or is I call it a bad case the gals So ask kisser. Do you make dessert often? He's like, no, but you know what I do often jerk off to Richard Lace's pressure in my bathroom It's like okay. Well, at least you have immunity And then unlike that jar of jelly beans that gale just got into Kelsey Unlike that jar of jelly beans that Gail just got into Kelsey Adrian made an almond de coix

Juice bag made white chocolate moose with caramel and blood orange something rather I was writing these very fast We get to Justin and he's like I made a blue cheese mousse with crumbled goat cheese and cat poop. And they're like, mmm, interesting. Mmm. Mmm. So let's just get to judging, shall we? Okay, so Padma, but now right before the judging happens, it's 2.30 in the morning, Padma

excuses them and it's like, it's late. Go get some sleep. And so she excuses them. And as they leave, I don't know if you noticed this, Richard Belize did the prayer hands thank you thing. You know what I'm talking about? Oh yes, I wrote hashtag blessed. Shut up. Oh my God, what are you doing?

Like don't do that. Don't do the, like like like the putting your hands You have to thank you so much like prayer bow and from your seats. No, yeah, yeah, you'll want to foster take a break take a break Lime. Yeah, no She out she it's like the that's totally a hashtag blessed thing. Yeah, it's you and there will never be a more obnoxious Hashtag from hashtag blessed Hashtag that just happened. Yeah, just everybody go look up hashtag blessed and you'll want a bar.

Yeah, hashtag just saying. Yeah, hashtag just saying that just happened. So that was like, hmm, Neenie stood out. I really liked your ponytail. I was like, yeah, you know, really nice elegant dessert. It worked on that ponytail. It was the first scene of the show. It's a good ponytail.

I like to make her a nice class too. I was very happy with the way she filled my seat. A prescription. Thank you. Yeah, I'm Eric. Eric Repair is like, oh, that like delicate. This mini. Hell, it is not my favorite. Not my favorite. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like hell over not my favorite not my family. It's like

So bruh grams like Brian was lacking a lot of acid My god, you're such a bitch. You've learned a lot from master chef sir. Good for you. Yeah, so they like eddies They thought that Michelle's brownie was not sweet enough. They thought Kevin's ricotta thing was too salty and too boring, probably. And then they got to, eventually they got to Kelsey's dessert and I remember a pair of his like, this was my favorite dessert, it's a good night. Yeah, one of my, one of the things I noticed here is that Brooke doesn't really like or do like any particular dish.

So you like the ideas they're based on. Have you noticed that? Like, that's not generally. I liked, I liked salt and dessert. But in this one, it was too much. I don't like roast potatoes in general.

In general, I like time and dessert. She actually said that. Yeah. And who said it was Graham? He's like, yeah, you know, time and, time and, what did he say? Time and raspberries are combies, bro. Yeah.

Usually something like that. He said that. I was like, oh, I did not know that. Then he got to Brandon's, he made some, I forgot what he made, but Pam was like, I did not like Brandon's dessert at all I could barely eat it. It's already in a box had it up to gal the galbage disposal

And Justin's fruit and cheese and Tom's like, well, you know, what would you take blue cheese to make loose? That's that's a crazy. Like what would you do that? I don't understand what you would do that and we're prepared like That's that's a crazy like what would you do that? I don't understand what you do that and repairs like Blue cheese is poncho and the mid-a-blame by making it smooth and Then they'd like Adrian's do well. No, they no, I thought they didn't like it because they thought it tasted like frozen orange juice Well Graham liked it. Oh, grams like the fill in gal and then repairs like Decreement up with the wrong consistency and looks like yeah, generally I don't like frozen orange juice This is padlock. Shmi is Nilu available. We have some desserts to bring up to gal. Thank you Nilu here you go

Sit Nilu sit Good dog. So now it's the next morning. Now it's time for judging. And guess who's in a deep panic? Eddie! Yeah, he's freaking out. Yeah, it's like Downing's

Paligrino by the barrel. I was like, this is a hard challenge for a lot of reasons. I could listen here and I will. So everybody just sit back and uh, serve the fire in the wall and it'll be over soon. Promise. I was like okay. I need a monologue for every scene. So ultimately Kelsey, Eddie and Nini were on top and uh, Nini's vegetable. One the whole day, so that's two in a row for Nini, which made me happy because she's my favorite.

Yeah, oh yeah, that's when Graham's like strawberry and fennel are homies, right? Yeah, that's what it was. So, yeah, Nini wins. Let's see. Nini is Nini. Yeah, it's Queen. I'm just loving your gift. That's two in a row. I know. I'm just like, what? I don't write anything here. I just don't know who the like was.

Adma, that's two in a row. I can't wait to kick you off next week and ruin everybody's betting strategy for this season of top chef. And then we have the bottom, which is Kevin, Brian, and Pablo. bottom, which is Kevin, Brian, and Pablo. Brian, which one was, oh yeah, Brian did that biscuit and Pablo had the sad raspberry thing. And Tom, I love when Tom just unleashes nastiness on people, he's always like, well, you know, you have to make sure choices and Pablo,

there was just a problem with every single thing on that plate. It was basically like, I mean, he served a big piece of shit. Yeah. problem with every single thing on that plate. It was basically like, you could serve the big piece of shit. Yeah. Yeah. He also shaded Napoleon Dynamite Brian, because he's like, Brian's like, well, I don't have a lot of pastry experience. I'm not gonna lie. Tom's like, yeah, we get that. We know you're not lying. Chef of snorkeye's. No, no nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah He's like, well, I know I wanted to cook down cherry sauce, but like it was a little salty So I added some butter and they just like kind of like nods at them and they're like you're an idiot If you know, you know, here's one thing we're trained as just to do if you know that something is bad Don't put it on a plate. Yeah, I mean, you know, it's pretty simple

It's bad. It's not good With a chicken instead of an old rooster. Like what sort of cocoa then is that? Um, I'm trying to relate to everyone in America. She's like, you can leave chefs. Now, we ask them to do something difficult, but it happens to all of us at the holidays. You get stressed out. You have to do last-minute things your child kidnapped Santa you know how it goes you have to see Michiko Michiko Kakutani, do a lecture at the at NYU you have to get all those nasty voicemail those nasty satanic voice mail from Salman, Dreadscribe, for the next

time you drag his ass to court for Alamoney. You know how it is. You have to get your looks ready for Fashion Week in Paris. It's just like all of us, all of America. Tom's like, yeah, but they almost stopped, but they didn't do anything about it. And you know, we're trained not to put bad things on place. Yeah, but how do we separate which crime is the biggest? Whoever smelt a Delta, am I right, Gail? Whoever did the crime does the time. Who did the crime? Did the crime. So then they're talking about Pablo's dish and everything

that's wrong with it. And then Pam goes,, well as silly as Pablo's dish was, the other two punched me harder in the palette. And we're prayers like, why is this it? Well, it's offensive to me. And Gramps like, yeah, salty versus acid versus acid. So what do we do? You know, the Brazilian was the acid or Napoleon Dona might have the acid and the Brazilian star, the nerd had the salty. So what do we do? You know the Brazilian was a sit or Napoleon Dona might have the acid and the Brazilian Stardust nerd had the salty so what do we do now and repairs like to salty only add butter?

This is not the right thing to do Definitely well he is right like why would like Why would you do that? Do that so sweet and I like that he because sometimes with all the other judges It's like where are they coming from to they just not like the person, you know, we're sometimes I feel like they're Decisions it's like that was a shallow decision But he's he just puts it right on the table with a smile on his face. He's like who does that basically by the way I just want to clarify because we both are wrong because you keep saying that Pablo's Brazilian and then I keep correcting

You're saying that he's Spanish. He's actually from Argentina. Oh, I thought he was a Brazilian from Miami. He is from Miami, but he's from Argentina. I'm so sorry, but I was sitting on a Argentina for a while. You were close to the night was you were close to night was. So then, uh, speaking of, and Tom's next line is, well, you served us some mistakes. So there you go. That was me who served you, Tom. You're welcome. So now, after the judging, the contestants walk back in and Kevin, you know, we hear their voiceovers and Kevin's like, I definitely wouldn't count myself out. And then Brian and Pablo are both like, I hope I'm not done.

So I'm like, okay, well, Kevin's the one who seems confident right now, which is ridiculous. So he's clearly going to go home. And sure enough, he was the one who was dropped. And so they're like, Kevin, pack your knives up and go back to wherever you're from. And Kevin comes up to like shake their hands. And Tom's like, well, listen, the dessert was just so salty. It was an edible, but you know, see you last year's sketch. Okay, I mean, it's like, not to kick you while you're down, but get down lower. Boom.

Okay, thanks. Thanks. In 16 seasons of doing top chef, this was probably the worst thing I ever ate. But I'll see you at last year in the kitchen. And then Kevin's like, I can only hope to be a role model. I just want my kids to grow up really salty. One thing that's taught me about myself is that I can change my glasses frames

and have a totally different look for my professionals, right now and I just want to evolve you know don't give up on evolution just because I'm in a small town. Oh you need to go you need to go. So that's it for Top Chef and since it is the end of the week let's do some quick crap in's mail ban. All right! Sing the big, big, big, it's not playing on my sock, or maybe you hear it. It was playing on my hand, I heard it. Well, it's exciting. Everyone can just imagine the song played. So, Ronnie, tell everyone about what the Crapin's mailbag is. The Crapin's mailbag is the thing on Patreon.

I want you to sign up at that level, the payout mailback levels and you write us letters and then we read them and like answer them and like, you're going to ask us anything you want. That's like how we came out of the cross at. Like, you know, just enjoy it. And thank you for everybody who supports us on our Patreon. That's Spanish. Patreon. That's right.

That's right. Okay. So let's bring it up. I for you. That's right. That's right. Okay, so let's we're going to open. I'm opening this up right now. We're going to look at some of the questions because we have like a ton of questions that we have to get through. Gosh, people keep adding more in,

which is great. It makes me very, very happy. There's, let's see. Dashcat. This is from two weeks ago. Sorry, we're just, I'm doing them in random order. So if you've been winning a while, it's not like I'm just random order. Dashcat. Dashcat says, Hi, fellas. New Patreon member, but I've been listening to the podcast for a few years. I found you guys through Brian Moilins' Bulture recaps.

People in the comments were saying those watcher-crapins guys are so hilarious, but I get annoyed when they speak in those Australian accents all the time. And I knew then that that was the podcast for me. My question is, I've listened to your old episodes, and they're extra funny with the gift of hindsight. Quote, one thing's for sure, Bethany is done with Bravo for good. End quote. Quote,

Vanderbump rules is the worst show of 2013. I'm not watching anymore. End quote. I sometimes think of how hilarious it would be to give 2012 Ben and Ronnie an overview of current events and getting their reactions. So if the 2025 Ben and Ronnie could somehow go back in time, what spoilers would they share with us in 2017? A gallery girl's resurrection, Bethany running for president,

Vicki Gumbelson's still on Real Housewives of Orange County. So I guess it's saying, what will be happening in 2025 on the state of Bravo? Considering that our foresight has been so terrible in the past. Okay, I would say that in 2025, there will only be one housewives left on the air. That's one connection from me.

Let's see, 2025, what year is it right now? 2018, that's seven years from now. That's, wow, that's bold, that's a bold one. I am going to say in 2025, Andy Cohn will still be playing a game on what happens live like, who's crotch is this? I predict in 2025, Sheena from Vanderpump rules will be fat and have one leg. Wow, she took a turn. I was dating a lion tamer and I got too close to the product. I say in 2025, everyone on

Vanderpump rules will still be a waiter or a waitress, but whether they're still at Sir is another question. I predict that, let me see. I predict that Gail Simmons will be the richest woman from Top Chef. I predict Thomas Ravannell will be just getting out of jail and will be then going on his book tour about what he's learned about about being a proper gentleman. Oh, okay. I predict that at least one cast member from Vanderprenpterals will be dead. Sorry. That's a horrible prediction, but it had to be said by somebody and there I did it.

I predict that Jackson Brittany will have broken up a few times and are now, they have now moved on to like celebrity therapy club or something like that like some reality show on VH1 where they're trying to make your merit work at long last and her and Brittany's face is now like a little messed up at long last and her and Britney's face is now like a little messed up from surgeries and etc. and jacks has also gotten some weird fillers and Yeah, they and they're it's like hosted by Danny Bonnaguchi. Okay, I think that's a good way to end that one. Yeah Okay, how about stop that? Can't top it Mike Bowman. do we do this one or not? Well, let me know if it sounds familiar.

He goes, hey guys, so Carol's return to journalism now includes selling sex toys. Yes. Which other housewives should sell sex toys and what would their pitch be? Carol sells sex toys? I think this is actually true. I feel like I just saw a headline about

a Carol with sex toys like I think this is actually true. I feel like I just saw a headline about a Carol with sex toys like it like last week Wow Okay, so Carol sells sex toys. So what was the question? I got stuck on Carol's It's called the rabbit Jack rabbit Jack candy rabbit It's called the bike candle. You sit on it and it feels like a young person is driving the bike. The bike candle. We call this one the counter. You get an orgasm because you're turned on. Oh, no, no. Sorry. It's like you knew what was coming.

I didn't actually. You knew it had to be terrible about the marathon. So what was the question? Oh, this one, the marathon. You stick it in you for 26 miles. Then you talk about it for the next four months. And every time someone invites you to a party you get mad that it's not about your vagina! I call this one baby, it's actually a set of four different insurgables that you can

put it to any hole in your body and they're all named baby Okay, what else is in there? We didn't really answer Mike's question, but I thought anyways we did in many ways we did Okay, well then that wraps up mailbag for to end to 18. Yeah, thank you everyone. That was super fun Ding ding ding ding. I don't know what's not playing on my side. I feel rejected. But that's what I feel elected, because it played on my side. Dude, you guys have a wonderful weekend. Lara and I will be back on Monday to talk Vanderpump rules.

And then it'll be holiday time. So everyone have a wonderful weekend. I will be back in 2019, suckers. So everyone have a wonderful 2019. Socus. Yeah, bye everyone. Bye. podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at onedry.com slash survey.