Watch What Crappens - Vanderpump Rules: The Mighty Schmuck

Episode Date: March 21, 2018

Jax has a mysterious hockey job offer on PumpRules, but that doesn't stop him from getting his ape ass handed to him in Mexico. Enjoy! This week's bonus about Vegas and the first two parts of the Married2Med Reunion! To hear it, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens ***Crappens Live is coming to Chicago, San Francisco, Phoenix, Irvine, DC, Detroit and Houston! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends

That's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends You can also find us on social media on Twitter. We're at what crap ends on Instagram and Facebook at watch what crap ends We'll see you there I've got a crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, Watch what crapens would like to think it's premium sponsors. Christy Wowardy-Dowardy. Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low. Megan Bird, he can't have a burger without the burger. Jess Sayon, okay. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. And our super premium Patreon subscribers,

Kelly Grant, Big Grant Master! Give them home, Miss Noel! And Lizzie Drucker, a fun mother f- We love you guys! Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens! The podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on Yo Bros! I'm Ronny Karim from TrashTalkTV and the Rosepricks Bachelor Bachelor podcast and here I am with my gorgeous little friend Ben Mantelker of the B-side blog and the Banscher Blinda podcast. Hello, Ben. Oh hi Ronnie, how are you today?

So good, sirgurr, it's Vanderpump Rules Day. I know. I think we're going to Detroit in a couple of days to do the very first episode of Vanderpromp Rules Live Yeah, I'm when you say very first live meaning we're looking at this series premiere of Vanderpromp Rules that we'll be discussing live not our first time ever discussing it live But people who are confused Etc People like Kathy Ireland who's celebrating her birthday today for some reason I decided to look up celebrity birthdays right before this podcast Well there you go Kathy Ireland happy birthday and now you know what the fuck's going on

Yes, and you two Holly Hunter. We're not leaving you out. Oh my god. I love Holly Hunter now Holly Hunter should be on Vanderpump rules You should be Hunter should be on Vanderpump rules. You should be. You should be. The shit. Listen to me. Right man. Jack's Jack's. Do you ever see broadcast news? Of course I saw broadcast news. Well, guess what William Hurts birthday also. Oh my god. It's a broadcast news birthday day. Oh my god. William Hurts. Just like Jack's has been so hurt today. If only William Hurts knew about Raky, he could have had a totally different stage name. It could have been William healed. I know they would have called him Billy instead. This whole thing. His wife would have been the only he prefers to be called Billy. Billy hurt. Oh, oh, call me Bill. Call me Billion.

His name is probably not even William. It's probably like Ronaldo. It's probably Jason. And Jason, you're right. All trouble so I'll start off as Jason. If only he had Kelsey, Kelsey Patel to unlock his inner Jason before he went off to become a successful screen actor. Yes, hi, Ricky. Good. Hi, Ricky DeWers. Thank you for all the help you're bringing to people

across the country. You really do a service. Your positive energy brings a service. And I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, you're not a fucking psychologist. Just so you know. How about you, do you drop the tool bag and just straighten some back south, okay? That's me doing taps on your forehead.

You feel better now? Have I unlocked? Have I unlocked something? Should I call you Rondle? Yeah, it's like, that's the real me inside. Rondle. Yeah. Well, here's the real me inside and the real me, the real band wants to tell everyone,

wants to reiterate what Rondle said, which is go to watchrocraftens.com to get tickets for a Detroit show this Saturday. And we have a contest going on for free tickets to that Detroit show this Saturday. And we have a contest going on for free tickets to that Detroit show. Just posted video on Instagram saying, why you want to go? And as long as you hashtag WCRAP ends and hashtag CRAP ends live and make sure you at us so we can see it, then you may win some tickets. First place is going to get two free VIP tickets. That is a $150 value. Ladies and gentlemen, and that comes with a meet and greet

and preferred seating. And then second place are just two regular tickets. So that should be fun. Go do that if you want to come see us. And it's going to be a super fun show. And also, we have another contest, which we will circle back to at the end of this episode. We've been doing a board game giveaway.

We asked people to make fun Instagram Photoshop photos and post them on Instagram. So today is the deadline. So after today's Band of Pop rules recap, we are going to rifle through the entries and choose a winner of the board game. Castell! Castell sexy, Castell. Sexy unique Castell. Put some bass leaves on that Castell.

I want this human tower to be sexy. Sexy Castell. But today, before we make a human tower, let's make a different kind of human tower. A roll of top tower. A roll of talk tower. A tower of shame for a fan of our of tacos and shame. Yes, constructed by me and Ronnie. Yes, here we go.

Same, same taco tower guys. Well, shame tacos tacos of shame. Yes, so that was a fun week that we had. Since our last fan of home rules episode, um, we got a lot of responses since our last since our last band of home rules episode We got a lot of responses to our last episode which is kind of excited We've never had a controversial episode before I think the last time we've had controversy was when you made a joke about Maya Angelou Right, oh god, man. I just love that you keep bringing it at hey God you're like that fucking uncle at Christmas is like remember that DIY that was a fun night Jesus, I'm getting married. I brought my fiance to the table

Uncle Ben No, someone call me Uncle Ben Peter Peter's bro But but he put his bro. I've had some Peter's bro So but for real though, so we had a lot of people who were quite upset at us because they felt that we glossed over all the Me Too elements of last week's fan-to-pum rules. They felt that we were defending a creeper and endorsing women just shutting up if they have feelings like that. And honestly, if you listen to podcasts, I totally understand

why everyone thought that because we were basically just sort of like rambling on like two idiots. But I do feel like I it's really important to clarify this because you know, I you know, it's it's it's it's a terrible feeling to go post something on a podcast and then you have to sit for a week before you have to be able to like like no, no, no, no, no, I didn't mean it like that. Actually, I meant like this.

But like, absolutely, you know, what everyone has been tweeting at us totally agree about, you know, we totally think that Stasi and Kristen and Katie and everyone has obviously a right and they should speak up and be like, you know what, he was creepy to me at a wedding, and their feelings are totally valid. And we did say on the podcast, it was totally not cool for Tom to yell at them, because it's not really his place, even though Tom and Ariana, I do believe they felt like they were at being noble, standing up for Jeremy, someone who's really important to them. The thing that I thought was really fascinating about the episode, and I tried to say it on the podcast, but I think I just sort of made it sound worse, was that the episode

presented someone who, like on paper, was very stent, like a stand-up citizen. He's, he put out a fire, you know, he asked out Billy Lee, he doesn't care what society thinks, like this seems by all accounts, he seems like a good guy. And then you think back on it and you're like oh gee i wonder why that episode was edited that way it's like we never hear from this bus boy or whatever and then suddenly he's a hero and then a creep all in one episode but i think that was actually what was made the episode so amazing because to me that's what really epitomizes this whole movement which is that people can be like do great things. They can be upstanding citizens, but they can still cross the line. And I think when I was trying to say I admit I sort of was sounding

like he's awesome, he's awesome and he had a transgression. No, I think what was cool about this episode is that this is like a it's a complex issue and even Quote, unquote, good people are fallible and they need to be called out when they when they do something wrong and even if it's as simple as creeping on someone on a wedding You know like no one should have to be silenced about it I have more thoughts if I'm gonna let you jump in because I'm just talking like crazy. Well, there were a couple things first of all the I'm gonna let you jump in because I'm just talking like crazy. Well, there were a couple things. First of all, the first of all, I stand for women.

Okay, we're on this show. Women are our entire audience pretty much. I mean, it's like 90% of our people, as we've met you over the past year or so, traveling around, the most mortifying thing to me was, you dropped the ball. You dropped the woman ball, which is my whole life women have taken like dropping the open ball. I owe a lot to women. Like women have always taken

care of me and made it okay for me to be who I am my whole life. So that's always gonna upset me. But then of course I think back and I read all the comments. And I'm like, well, my first reaction on the show was multifaceted because Stasi said he's a creep. Okay, there's nothing wrong with saying a guy's a creep. And there's certainly nothing wrong with telling your girlfriend that you think the guy's a creep. Yeah, I don't think he said it. Then Billy Lee got offended because of course, well, who knows, I can't read her mind. I don't think Billy Lee didn't get offended I don't think well she kind of exacerbated it when she told her when she told the other people yeah so then it became it kind of became the smile fire and then I started thinking about

Billy Lee and I'm like well of course maybe it was sensitive to her because it's like the first guy who asked her out at work she's already maybe feeling you know like the only one or whatever and And it's like, of course, people are like, oh, he's a creep, you know. So then it kind of went, went, went, went. My issue was when it turned into calling him a creep to going to stand for the other victims with Katie. Now, my background, my background with Katie on this show, I mean, obviously, I don't know her only know her from the show, but she's always made me fucking crazy. Katie always makes me nuts and a fight, and it's very

difficult for me as just a sport watcher to get behind anything Katie says. So those are my feelings during the show. Okay, so then I'm reading all these comments. And of course, my first opinion was my same opinion as it was during the show, which is why I did that big of a deal. And then it hit me, duh, that's that reaction is why it's that big of a deal. Basically, the reaction of like, well, guys have always been creeps at weddings. What do you expect to go to a wedding and the guys not going to be a creep? That was my first reaction. And that's my problem that that was a first reaction because it's been like that for so long that my fucking problem that that's but that's the first reaction.

Yeah. Yeah, no, I agree. I mean, where I think what was interesting is that, you know, they were just like, oh, he was being creepy. And I didn't really think they were, I don't think that's the awesome person who were really coming for Jeremy. They just were like, oh, by the way, he's creepy. Just keep an eye out.

He's like, you know, he's horny, pervy, whatever, whatever. And by the time through the game of telephone, it gets back to Ariana, it sounds like there's like a full on character assassination going on for Jeremy. So Ariana just comes on full strength, like shut the fuck up, you know, and so that's why also you could hear me on the podcast feeling kind of torn, because I was like, well, I feel this way

and I feel that way, because and it made it sound like I was being like a like a sympathizer to Jeremy But it was more and I'm by the way, I never met Jeremy. I don't know anything about Jeremy really And of course all this all these articles come out about his arrest which are like oh But um where I was torn is just like You know, I feel like I want to respect the fact that a sister is standing up for her brother. I feel like in this place of being torn between, well, I feel like you got to respect this. Me too, movement, people are standing up and they shouldn't be silent. But at the same time, I want to respect that.

It's like a family member. One made this issue all interesting and complex, which again is why I thought the episode was so good, is that the accusers are people who have historically unwendiped rules, been people who have been happy to character assassinate. They do it for sport. And the person who was defending Jeremy is someone who has on the show, typically been someone who stands up for like what's quote, unquote, good, you know, and all that. So the roles were reversed.

And again, that just shows how in these situations, all that shit doesn't even matter, right? But like you have to like take all, like you have to sort of like push through all that crap, like pre-existing biases just on the character level alone. And that was really, that was really fascinating. And I think I was trying to kind of say that, but I think what just came out sounding was me being like, I really like Ariana. I know Ariana in real life.

And like, I'm going to support her, which is not really what I was intending to say. But I'm also not going to be like, oh my god, I'm almost totally objective because obviously, running out, we've met Ariana and Tom. So of course, I'm like, as much as they hate to say it, of course, there's probably some bias. Then again, I've also hung out with Stasi.

So I have bias towards Stasi as well. So the bias game is all fucked up for me right now. But the best I can say is we did drop the ball. And I'm just like, I feel terrible for the listeners who expected more from us, who expected us to do some of our patented rants, and we were just like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I don't want to use this as an excuse, but I'm going to use it as an excuse. We also were recording it like 1 a.m. after doing several episodes. And I know from me personally, I was like, I kind of just wanna get through this recap.

I know we can stop into a whole big discussion, but I kind of wanna get through it. And in retrospect, it's like, well, sometimes when they're serious shit that needs to be discussed, you kind of can't push through it. You gotta stop and discuss it. Well, for me, for me, it wasn't even the time of day.

I was literally shocked the next day at how mad people were, and like I said earlier, that was kind of my problem, is that it took me reading, not just comments at us, but comments on the episode of Vander Pumper rules all over the internet, because of course I read all that shit. So I was shocked that it was that big of a deal, because to me it was some guy being creepy at a wedding, they said he was creepy and then it went out of control. And like I said, that was the problem. It's just like, oh, it's just some other guy being creepy.

And I copped to that, I'm wrong a lot on this show. And I also want people to feel comfortable saying, because people really are good with us when they disagree about disagreeing, but not being like me, like not making me cry because my bully ass will be the first one to start crying. And so I thank everybody for being nice. The second part of this for me was the bias. And it was bound to come up. And it's always been my worry since we started doing this show that we start meeting people. I mean, it's not just because we don't work for Bravo. We have no connection in any way to it.

But over the years, people contact us over Twitter and we get to meet in real life or we make friends with people in real life like Lea Black, who God knows you're going to meet through that woman. She knows everybody in the world, you know, yeah. And so I'm thankful for all of that. But it's always been a worry. And we've talked about it off the show, you know, just between ourselves. I was like, I don't want to get into this issue where it's like, we're friends because naturally we're going to start being nicer and there is going to be a bias because it is harder to talk shit about your friends and I've been so careful over the years to talk shit about the people that we've met. Yeah. And I've tried so hard to be an asshole. Yeah. You did a great job.

Thank you. Thank you so much. And so that was another thing I was just mortified because I'm like, oh my god, you know, I separate the people. First off, it's not like we're having dinner or like hanging out with any of these people. We're not like best friends. On a good basis. Yeah, you know what I mean?

Like we're friends and friendly and we certainly have fun when we go out or whatever. But I've always prided myself on being an equal opportunity, you know, asshole cruncher. Yeah. And, you know, I mean, the timing could not have been worse because a week prior, Ariana mentions us on watcher crap and watch what happens. And then a week later, this happened. And so everyone's like, Oh, so as you mentioned, you on watch what happens. And that's like, that's enough to like buy you off. You automatically take her side. I'm like, no, I didn't know. I was kind of because if you think about it, it's like, yeah, I would have probably at any other time

whipped up all that Jeremy shit on the internet and read it, you know, like all the allegations. You probably have in the past. I think we probably have in the past. And I just had like forgotten about it. And I knew that he had like things like circulating, but I was honestly too lazy to look it up. I was like, I don't, I don't know, I don't care. And then as soon as we

were done recording the episode, I went online and Brian Moilin had written a really strong recap, and he basically was like, listen, regardless of what you think about Stasi and what regardless we think about Ariana, like it wasn't Ariana should not have come down on them. They had legitimate complaints and Jeremy was being creepy and you could see on video that St down on them. They had legitimate complaints. And Drami was being creepy. And you can see on video that Stasi was on control. It doesn't matter. It's Stasi or Mother Teresa. You can't do that to someone.

I mean, that's not what he said. But that's basically what he was saying. And people, I immediately posted on someone that posted it on Facebook group. And I immediately was like, oh, shit. That's like, he kind of said everything that I kind of wanted to say, but I didn't. And I kind of glossed over it. And I regret it now. And you can look. It was like, right shit, that's like, he kind of said everything that I kind of wanted to say, but I didn't, and I kind of glossed over it,

and I regret it now. And you can look, it was like right there, like one in the morning, and whenever it was, I guess I'm doing my own little defense case now. Well, I don't know. But meaning that, like we didn't, like we, like, meaning that I do think that sincerely, we do care about this issue.

And I think that we just kind of just mishandled it and didn't say it right. And it's just funny that you bring up Moilin because he got his asset hand to him. I'm sure he did. Beverly Hills recap because he's being nice to Eric on a week where she was just a monster. So and you know, so the ice thing comes in again.

So it was really a week of reflecting on a lot of different things. That's hard to get. I can't really like I'm not, I don't want to like, suddenly backtrack and be a kissass and start apologizing for everything in my past because that would take us forever. What I will say is, I've always made an effort to not have a bias and I'm making a vow now that that shit is on the top of my mind and I won't be doing it.

Who wants to listen to his show with bias, you know? And I'm certainly gonna get away from it. My bias will go back to being for strangers like Vanderpump. I mean, I will say who I will forgive anything no matter what, okay? I mean, I always say I'm full of bias. That's what that's what I feel like makes me a podcaster. I have I play favorites. I absolutely play favorites and I have people who I absolutely attest and then changes all the time and we're not like a newspaper. But I understand there's a difference between bias towards like favorite characters versus like not treating

someone the way you normally would because you know them in real life. And I mean unfortunately, you know, you know, again, we've met these people not because we've like sought them out to be like, oh my god, I like, we actually met them through Nat and like the way you meet people normally. Like you actually like we actually socialize and met them through Nat and like the way you meet or people normally. Like you actually, like we actually socialize and met them through social circles.

So it's... But someone can still be very nice. It's definitely the person that'd be a dick on TV. And you know, that's what we're here to call out. So my vow is to this audience to not ever let bias get in my way. And if I feel it, I will admit it. Loud thing. And my second feel it, I will admit it. Loud thing.

And my second vow is, you know, I will keep speaking my mind and expecting you to tell me when I'm fucking wrong. And I appreciate how you do it because, you know, like an old dog does. Well, everyone spoke up. Yeah, very cool. The people spoke up.

So keep doing that. That's what this moment's been all about is that people being like, not just sitting back anymore, people just getting angry. So yeah, we got a lot of tweets, we got a lot of emails and hopefully, yeah, hopefully we hopefully we can all hold hands together and group hug. I was so fucking yeah, group crap inside and I was so fucking happy when I watched this episode of pump rules last night because everyone can unify behind hating jacks.

Yes, I think God. God, what an asshole. He is just. Thank you. It's amazing. Thank you for taking us back to petty nonsense. Oh, yeah. Well, let's get on with this show. Yeah, let's get on with the fun stuff here.

So I said this at the beginning of the season, and I was really worried when this episode started because of this. I love the film's planet of the apes. I think they're so good. I am amazed at the, just the skill that animators have brought into where they hire an actual actor to play the shit out of kind of an animated role and

those are actors. Yeah, they put sensors. They put all these sensors all over these actors and they're really acting the role, you know, and then they're covered by this 3D. I don't know how it works. You know, I'm just chatting. I never mind. No, you know what? Thanks for making a joke. They're not really know that I know. Well, I didn't know that they were real. I didn't know that this like kind of the apes thing was gonna be I didn't know this was like your raison d'etre like this. Well, that was my life lately. Okay. Anyway, I don't need to step on it. Go. Yeah, don't don't make me mad because I really didn't know that they were real actors like the apes. I

thought it was just animation, you know, and I was like, oh my god. I chose it because it's good actors. No, now I'm back. So I can't hear anything. I was trying to make a joke pretending that I thought there were really gorillas. No, I know I get it, but I'm stupid. Like if you look at the watch that happens the podcast where we explain our jokes, but if you told me that they were really gorillas when those came out I would be like, oh my god gorillas are becoming such good actors. I'm dumb, you know. So when people told me they were actually humans with sensors on them, I mean, I was floored. So my point is, it's really, I was worried because you want to talk about my ass. I was like, I'm starting to like jacks because I love the main planet of the ape sky. You were so great. Simon or something. He's made me laugh. He's made me cry. I mean, he's just so good.

And Jackson really is getting his face. And I thought, at the beginning of this episode, I was like, oh my God, please don't make this a runny. You're going to like Jackson's episode thing just because you like the planet of the Apes movies. So thank God, I didn't know about that way. But, you know, I need 20 minutes to explain that. Yeah, I'm so glad that you're that your first, your first to go at

removing bias in your life has to do with separating plan of the apes from Jacks. I think that's a strong move for me. I think that really fixed everything from last week. I like, you know, I mean, I feel the same way. I mean, I was, yesterday, I was like walking down the street and I was walking on this grassy patch and there was this big mud splotch in it. But the way that I was hitting it, it looked kind of beautiful and I realized,

no, just because I like that muddy splotch that looks sort of nice there, doesn't mean I have to like jacks. So you do understand. So I removed my bias to like I can like muddy splotches outside of the podcast. But in the podcast, I can also hate jacks. The point is jacks has Nate face. And it was worrying me that I was going to like

it's like if you're worst enemy in the world with a dolphin, like how are you going to hit a dolphin? Dolphins are apparently very aggressive and not very nice Dolphins are wonderful. How dare you they always get a good at it on like blue planet, too, but you know what I'd like Look at China, okay So we up in with Tom mixing drinks We're going to talk about the song. I see now you got me checking out all the songs, all the royalty-free music, because the music goes, don't get in my way, I've got to make it today, don't get in my way.

And then the camera's winding through the kitchen of Sir, I was like, oh my God, I feel like I'm an actual waiter there. You know, it's like I'm saying, don't get in my way. And then the camera's like winding through the kitchen of sir. I was like, oh my god, it's like, I feel like I'm an actual waiter there. You know, it's like I'm saying, don't get in my way. I've got a plate of tuna tartar that has to go to table 35. Get out of my way. I don't care about your seat, chalancey bass, because I gotta get my tuna tartar there, everyone. Out of my way, it's a left and a right.

There's the fridge, No time for arguments now. I'm at the table. No kidding. They make it seem like it's this glamorous thing. Like, don't give them my way. I'm making it today. Like, anyone's getting in these people's way from making it, you know, or way of making it.

But the real song belongs to Chef Joe, because you know, he'd say only asked you makes anything in that place. And it's like, don't get in my way. And go on and make it today. Don't know, tata, tata, tata, tata, tata, tata, tata, tata, t place. It's like don't get in my way. I'm gonna make it today. The only one who's made it on Vanderfiltrum is Chef Joe. And I can med you, sir. Well, he had big shoes to fill. Chef Penny, of course.

All right, peace, Chef Penny. Yeah, we did a little poll on Instagram. And it was like, could you pick Chef Joe or Chef Penny and Chef Joe won by a landslide? I was like, excuse me. Well Chef Penny ain't gonna stand around when Vander Prump comes in and she's like, I need more on that late Chef Joe. Chef Penny, make it sexy, make it sexy, Chef Penny. Some sexy buzzer. Anyway, you were saying, Sep Penny was not like a wilting flower, okay? No, no. All right, so you were saying, Tom's making cocktails. Yes, and she's like, what are you doing here so early? Look at all this effort you're making.

You're like a nickelane with a glass under shake. Speaking, she's saying, yeah, she's like, I want you to make me a cocktail. Give me something I haven't tasted before. I'm like, so anything that's essentially not a cosmopolitan. Anything that doesn't have Vanderpump on the label, you mean? I'm drinking from the water Vanderpump in my own. I'm drinking something they call a gimlet. I don't understand what it means,

but I guess I could give it a try. Bottoms up. I would love a pump of cola. It's like that. Keeping pump on top of every other red. Okay, it's just a coke. I'll have a pump, Collins, please. I'd like a pump and sour.

So, it's like, give me something I've never had before. If anyone can, you can, Tom, half of Tom, Tom. Also, Nicolaine is coming in. Do not touch anything. Do not touch anything. Yeah, I was like, I was surprised that there was not like a, like, a series of trumpeters that came in to do a fanfare. Nick Alain is coming. The genius Nick Alain.

Probably just without his trumpet and been like, I could do this better, bro. Well, you need a fanfare. I could do a fanfare for you. So he's like, there are multiple things that's out. Oh, no, that's Lisa. So he's like There are multiple things Tom Tom can do that I have no business doing spreading HPV Impregnating waitresses in Las Vegas, you know how it goes Just make sure your what's the American word you would use. He's like bitchin. Narlie the American word you would use he's like bitchin gnarly

dude no i think the word omte you know his cowpecetic i was like what's revenge and it was that i don't know for people but i was gonna say i actually looked up copacetic because i was like that's an American word that sounds like an english word you know is it for the episodic yeah i don't think it's a word that's unique to America. That's for sure. No, but I just like when... That's the answer. I like when people do an American accent.

They always sound like cowboys. Copacetic, gonna get on my... Cowboy. Cowboy. I know. I wish I could argue with her and then Brittany enters. It's like, oh Jesus, thanks for ruining it for us again, Brittany. But Tom's like...

Yeah, I need to like step it up and prove myself at least I'm like I deserve to have my name on this bar. Well two times. All right. Well at least first billing. I'm the first time Really need to step it up, which is why I put a little step right here. See I've done ten steps already God there's like some kind of helicopter above. I hear it. You know what, you know what's funny? I saw it heading your way. I didn't see your in my room and I saw a window.

I saw helicopter going by, but I didn't realize, I didn't realize it was going to you, but now that there is one by you, I realized. I'm not on my ceiling. I'm like a lane. It's nickelane coming to save me less and longer from the spoils of war, but he says on it's I gone The chicks are hotter and hell That's a little miss I gone for any of this he loved the blockbuster musical from the 80s

I had a whole thought process about Saigon last night. Oh, that you did we were watching Some house as well. But they've read. Oh, yeah, ever. No, I was watching ugly delicious on Netflix where David Chang goes to different places and he was talking about the Virgin influencer member. I talked about how I got the Kajan crawfish. Well, there's a whole episode of that show about talking about the Kajan crawish in Houston and then he goes to Vietnam and all that stuff anyway, so You're scorned if they have sexy basil around the crawdaddies. I don't think so

So Stasi and Lala are at a place called the Phoenix. The Phoenix always rises. Stefano de Merra. A. Um, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're the Phoenix vibe is very cool, you know, it's like a nica lane kind of vibe mixed with some sexy basil. Yeah, I get it No more plugs after moment 20 Um Lisa Vanderpressed is not in that scene. I just can't stop doing her. So yeah, or imitating her It's hard when you have like Lisa Lisa Vanderpump momentum, you know? Yes, it's like it's like just British inertia just carrying us through yes Mikoshin you caution. I'm like talking to street signs

This Loli, Loli, it's Sean to Black Elvy. Yeah, it's Lola and Stasi, meaning with Sean to Black Elvice, who are part of Lola's musical team. And Stasi is just totally confused by all this. Jesus Lake. Okay, I get that I'm playing a party planner on TV, but like, I don't understand what these two guys have to do with Yolala. She just has this look on her eye,

which is like, I'm not going to say anything, but I'm very confused. Well, Lala is even confused, because she's like, this is the man behind the music, bitch, and this is, well, I call him black Elvis. I'm like, you call him, did he, did you make up that name for him? Yeah. Are you trying to, are you just realizing that you don't know him on a first name

basis or? I think she just likes to make the match things at this point because you got a white con yay and she's called herself a two-pock and now you got black Elvis so she's just going to just take anyone she sees Lisa. She's like, oh Lisa that's British Kurt Cobain. Like what? So a lot of us like, music is my part and I'm going to leave all the fancy stuff to Stasi. I'm like, oh my God, this is like the blind leading the blind room here. Yeah. So speaking of

both of this, you both have had this job less than a week basically. It's gonna be a great party. It sounds great. So the manager of the Phoenix are showing them around to see the venue where they could possibly set up the music and everything. And Stasi is like, listen, I've got a question, AF. So like, if you do musical performances on the inside, are audiences like distracted by the bar? Do they just go to the bar? Are they distracted when performances are inside? And then I was like, oh my God, I love that question. Good question. Yes. The managers like we'll lock them in the patio. They're like, great idea.

She's like, we will, if anybody gets, we'll put little bracelets on them and when they try and leave it, we'll shock them. Stuss is like perfect and La La is like, game, like perfect. And Lala's like, game, game, that is game. And that's what I love that answer. I love that answer. Well, imagine, imagine Lala watching 60 minutes. Oh my God. Let's all, I love that question. Thank you. Seasoned jeopardy just complimenting everybody. Oh my God. I love that question. You really formed that into a question while Sisu Sasu. Yeah, what are the Philippines, right? So Sosis, my artistic vision AF is to do deep dark purples, blood, red, mildly haunted house.

Not everything can be your breakfast room room. I'm so see. So it's like I want everybody to be bleeding out of the eyes. That is my goal for this party. So she's like, what about that bar that's on the patio? What about that? And he's like, oh, it's a satellite bar. People in space don't hear pitch as well. Mama's like, game.

A game. Game. Game. I love a satellite bar. Reminds me of Dave Matthews when I considered myself the white Dave Matthews He already has white air I call him Dave Matthews You can be part of the band. Stasi's like I listen to game of Thrones soundtrack and like the bonzer song from Beauty on the Beast on Blief. Like, you just do whatever you want, okay?

She said that she listens to show tunes, reggaeton and Game of Thrones, and I'm just like imagining some sort of reggaeton like show tune thing as I can't I like my brain starts to It's like like must on the halls. I don't My version of right here. Tom lay miss. I'm not even going to attempt that. I'm going to jump for dream.

Dream. Dream. Dream. Dream. That's that. I think it's something. The person. Dream. Come on. Dream. Dream.

Dream. Just give me the dream. Just give me the dream just give me the dream I dream my dream oh The Phantom of the opera oh The Phantom all. I'm just walking back to the right. I'm going to have found some of the opera. No more no. So I'm opening the door for a

cigarette. I was like, I'm glad you did that. Make sure your make sure your neighbors can hear our reggae tones show tunes. That's really important. You know what they've lived next to me this song. They deserve what they get. Okay? Anybody else live a big battle long time ago. So now, Stasi and Lala are new friends. They're like, I said, like having, they're still in the beginning stages of their truce,

their ceasefire. And you can tell by how they order because Lala's like, oh my God, I love you so bad. And starts to go, I love the bread and while I go, I love the sauce. And I was like, oh, can these two wheels combine? It's basically the Vanderpump rules version of I spy. I love something red. I love something black. I'm like, well, one of you is going to lose it real it. So what's it going to be? I'm like, well, one of you is going to lose it, Relit. So what is it going to be? Um, the mildly haunted house. As in, it's not like a mild haunted house theme.

It's more like this house has been mildly haunted. It's like it goes just like, do it. It's starring mildly Eddie Murphy. Yeah. It's like the tired Eddie Murphy who's like sick of doing standout. He's like, hi, it's a haunted house. Boo. She's like, perfect. Places, would you get in your places?

And Mala's like, I love that question. I love that question. I love that question. Beetlejuice is like, here I'm just gonna move this teacup. I'm done for the night. Wow, that was such a mild haunting beetle is. She's like, oh my God, I love that song on your soundtrack. That mixed with on my own.

Damn. Day on my own. Day on my own. Damn. Day on my own. Day on my own. Okay. Damn. So they start talking about girls night. Well, I was like, how do you feel about girls night? I love that question.

And Stasi's like, um, but I try and communicate with Ariana, but it's either her way or the highway. Okay. And we're in a women are in a world of shame that you say something and then we're taking it back because the men get mad which is Really proof is really brought home by the end of this episode Yep, yes, see our thoughts on that at the top of the episode Top in the end is a book in episodes

Yes, and don't worry by the way if anyone was concerned we will certainly be taking up the ladies side later on this episode Yeah, I'd rather say we didn't even need a lecturing for that Like I said, we can all unite against the jackstorm, okay, suddenly you taking people in off the street like come in It's a rule our resources to attack jacks So stop see this he says she's not a she's not gonna apologize for any of that stuff. And Lala's like, that's what I like about you. You're like a gangster bitch. I love that.

It's gangster. Gangsta, then how dare you, sir. And she's like, oh, well, I guess I'm a gangster bitch. Lala said so. So. Well, you know, it's Stasi's head. She's, Lala says gangster, but Stasi here is gangster because in her mind, she's already going

to a guy's in dollars place. She's like, it's good old reliable Nathan. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da dead of the boat. Luck be a dead lady tonight. Luck if you've ever been a lady. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownauer, we will be your resident

not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. It's to begin with luck be a lady like, stop it. A Jackson Brittany or a third apartment. And she's like, say, I stopped moving my chairs and stuff. I was like, wow, glad we got in the middle of the scene. I love when they do that. Well, you know, that's how we gaslight, sir. He's like, I, I didn't, I didn't move the chairs around this way.

We've always had our apartment. Jax. And then like the next day, the chair somewhere else Jax you moved to the game No, it's always been like this. This is just his long game. It's long game Well, it's working. I can imagine Brittany just forgetting stop making my chairs It's like that's a couch and it's been there since we moved you can check the vacuum lines under it And the taxis, he's like, it's supposed to be at an angle.

I don't know why that made me laugh. My mother has a obsession with angling furniture. I'm like, why? I don't understand this. I'm just imagining, you know, Feng Shui experts all across the world, just fainting, watching Jack's, your arrange is living room.

Like he does the, he's like proud to put his toilet in the relationship corner. It's like he's like not only gonna put his toilet in the relationship corner, he's going to shit in it with the door open. He's like where's the relationship corner? Put the toilet there. He's like, Kelsey, you can stand there. Where's the ham and cheese making corner? Brittany, you stand there. So he's, he's, Jack's, Jack's is just so subtle. He's like, I have an appointment with Kelsey, so will you, you know, make yourself scarce? Cause this is the highlight of my week, okay, please. Yeah.

It's nothing personal. I just can't have, I can't have distractions, like a nagging girlfriend, you know. I cannot have you spamming here watching me while I'm getting a hand job. So where'd you go? Well have fun and grow or whatever this is. And he's like, I'm asking you nicely

because these are the little things that will make our relationship better. I'm like, first of all, you're not asking her. You're telling her. And you actually aren't being nice. I mean, you're saying that you're being nice just because you're saying you're being nice, you're not. She can, it's her apartment to you

and she can just go upstairs. Or how about you go upstairs until your own room and close the door and be done once you know Kelsey is done well if anybody's doubting that Jackson's trying to bone this girl which nobody is he's cleaning the top windows of the apartment with a broom which I can't believe he even need how to hold that and he not only got chocolate croissants he put them on a real plate I was like did you borrow that from Katie like where did you get like you don't have real plates? If you have enough energy to put out a chocolate croissant to source a chocolate croissant and put it out Then you have enough energy to make your own ham G sandwich or He's like god jacks or jacks, God, she's got the best qualities.

Like she breaks you down and rebuild you. I was like, she just says yes to you constantly. Like what are you talking about? He's like, when I see her, it's always the best day of my life. Call it the Jack's whisper. Oh God. So she comes in and she's like tapping him

and doing all the stuff. And I couldn't help but feel like when she was like, flappy girl hands round. I was like, pardon me, feels like this wasn't raky. She was just sort of fanning away his parts. She was like, okay, all right, too much raky for you in the colon. Well, ever since Tom found out that Kristen really did cheat

with Jack's and his first response was, but his breath, well, his breath. Now I like him think of his bad breaths with Jack's. I'm like this poor raky person. She is whisper, she is the jacks whisper. She's like So she's like what's going on with you Jason and he's like well I've just been you know going to the gym for I'm getting going to the gym a lot getting into trip mode because we're gonna Go on go to vacation of love anxiety about vacation, have a lot of anxiety about this.

You know, have a lot of anxiety about this, birthday trip. I'm like, oh, poor Jacks is having his like, put upon girlfriend, organize a all expense paid trip for you and you have anxiety about it. Yeah. He's like, yeah, everybody's like always accused me of cheating and stuff, one of that, like,

jeez, Jacks. And she's like, then why are you going, Jacks? And he's like, accused me of cheating and stuff one of that Like do you yeah, and she's like then why are you going jacks? And he's like Britt and Britt needs making me I just want a big happy trip, but that's not our group and she's like you really need release like really come on Kelsey Yeah, let's work on the stones. It's like put your dick away jacks He's like I don't want to go, but I saw pictures of buoys on the brochure and I can't help myself. I need to swim to them. Now I'd love that In the time that Brittany left the house, Jack's had Ricky girl over and Brittany comes home. He's gotten a job offer What?

Yeah, yeah, Jack's basically announces that he got a text about working in Tampa for like a hockey team doing social media or marketing or something of that source, whatever. So it's already sounds a little weird. It's probably someone just be like, he probably just got like, it'll learn from LinkedIn, which I'm not even sure he's on LinkedIn. He's probably on like, I don't know, douche tin. And it just like something like, hey, here's some jobs available in your neighborhood. And of course, he has like the wrong zip code in.

And he's like, oh, I just got a job. It's like, no. No, you do. It's a link. It's a link. Did you get a job at George Glass Industries, sir? Do you get my good job? I know one of the, no one fucking believes

that you got a job. I mean, especially doing tweets, all you have to do is look down his Twitter line. He's like, fuck you bitch. Yeah. Let's get this guy to do customer relations, social media. So Kelsey brought Jackson stones and you just know he's just staring at them wondering how he can snort them.

He's fully got the pistol. Yeah. And then it was time for her to leave. They just have a long, long hug and we could practically feel the bowler in her thigh at that moment. So next up is Brittany and tax Brittany's home and she's like, hey, we go! Amazing. It's always amazing with her. She's an amazing person. So, you know, Jackson's just in his lifetime typical like trying to fuck with Brittany way.

Exactly. And notice the way his tone changed in his voice. When he was talking with Kelsey, he's like very sweet. His voice is sweet. It lits. It's high. He's like, oh, I don't know. I'm just, you know, I'm stressed. And that's a da da da da. But with with Brittany, he's terse. He speaks down. He is, there's no sweetness in his voice whatsoever.

It's really obnoxious. And he would probably sell it as, well, Kelsey is, she's open. So I'm allowed to be open with her. But like when I'm with Britney, I can't be open. I can't be me. You'd like blame Britney for his attitude. But no, it's his attitude. That's the whole.

That's Draxy Kouchy. So she's like, well, did you have any breakthroughs? And he's like, it's not about breakthroughs. My best days are with her. I'm like, oh, Jesus. She's like, what is it? She does again, because I still see leaves on the floor. You think, she expects me, OK, you need that patience with me.

You just need to have patience. Jackson, you keep sick and you're taking people, OK? Yeah. She's had actually more patients than you've ever deserved ever. She's had so much patience. She's actually become a patient because of you.

Okay. Yeah. Like the free clinic is like, here she comes again, guys. Hi, said man, scared, guys. Let's get this done. I got a lunch appointment at Hooters. Jack, you slept with Faith multiple times, according to what sounds like what we can imply

from that voicemail. And she, you've made her believe that she is somehow at fault for all this. So like, don't talk to us about patients. Okay. And then he, then he, then you know, she starts to, to, to talk back. And he's like, just let me talk, just let me talk. Like, shut up, Jacks. I can talk. I'm a person. Did that? And then he's too talk Talk and so they'll do when you're not a random asshole

So now of course we also learn that jacks will not let Britney call him Jason only Kelsey's lot to call him Jason He's like Jason that's the person. You want to be I'm like you changed your own name Yeah, you can go back. Yeah, you can go back. He's like, well, Kelsey knew me. Like, I want Kelsey to know me as Jason and not this person that I've become. I'm like, well, you know, Brittany, you only met Brittany two years ago. It's not too late. You know, like, you can, she can call you Jason too.

He's like, I got an offer for a dream job. Hockey every day. And they're going to pay me. And he's just like rubbing his bald spot really hard right now I'm like don't get the spray hair on your hand. This scene is already going badly enough for you Jacks and he's like yeah, I mean it's a dream job. I mean there's nothing holding me back There's nothing here for me and they just cut to bring you space me like It's just so obnoxious like it's like one thing after the next

Yeah, and he's like this Peter Penn the next. Yeah, and he's like, just Peter Pan lifestyle, you know, and she's like, well, I want you to grow up too, not in the mean way. And he's like, just say okay, okay, it could call him you Peter Pan. You brought up Peter Pan. You know that that means you're immature, right? Are you talking about the peanut butter?

Like, what is your problem? Yeah, I think, I think he actually is, I think when he said the peanut, Peter Pan lifestyle, I think he actually is talking about when he said the peanut Peter Peter Pan lifestyle I think he actually is talking about peanut butter. He's like I got to learn how to cook things without just peanut butter Gotta move on. I'm sick of this. Peter Pan lifestyle make me a ham sandwich. How many goddamn times do I have to say woman? I'm sick of these wheat things this Peter Pan lifestyle Talk about same Dunkin

He told me to take care of myself first because I don't take time for myself or do what I want. Jesus. He's like one of the most selfish people ever on TV and he's saying he doesn't do anything for himself first. He's literally wearing a shirt that says Saturdays are for the boys. Yeah. Hey, Jones. And the other thing is, by the way, Brittany, you say, like, you're also, you don't get off free in this either. When you sit there and say, I've been waiting for you to grow up too. It's like, well, you shouldn't be with him

if you've been waiting for him to grow up. It's like, you need him to grow up. But if you need him to grow up, then you should be with someone else. Like you should be, like, in your relationship relationship you gotta accept someone on their own terms. I honestly, I feel like, I mean, as awful as Jack's is, you've elected to be with this guy, and now you're being like, well, I want him to grow up.

Well, no, he probably won't grow up or not anytime soon. So go find another man. Yeah, so Jack's tells the dog, hey, what do you think? Do you want to go to Florida? And I'm like, well, at least he invited the dogs. That was so nice. At least he asked them for input. So over at Rob and Sheena's apartment. This song is amazing. Cause it's like, living the life, living the dream. And then it's like a close up on vertical blinds and she just hit

apartment. Did you notice that she had a sign in her kitchen that said, why I'm tasting? Rob is perfect for her because he comes in texting. He just walks in with his phone in his hand texting. And then you know, this relationship's never going to work because she and it jumps in bachelor style. On the bachelor whenever they see the bachelor coming, they jump on him and wrap their legs around his muffin top. And you just know they're getting kicked off. And I was like, poor Sheena. So girl's night.

Sheena's like, how's girl's night? And she's like, it was fine. But Neymar's like, don't say anything on that, Jackson. Like she said, Jackson, then we're still broken up. And if they were, I thought she'd be making up with him, but they're not, but she did not. She really needs to get a motor back. And Rob's like, well, you know, though, it's Brittany's choice to be, you know, like you can't mail with this like she chose to go back to to Jack's.

That's her choice. She's like, oh my god, Rob is so smart. He's so smart. He like things I think that I don't think of any could do it in like the last time, so on my notes. So then literally said that later in the episode. I know. I just want to rob. She's like, she forgets that she has a choice.

And I eat the sandwich and have the soda. So so then Rob bust out some logos for the divorce closet, which I thought. So when they mentioned divorce closet a few weeks ago, I thought that was like a concept of a thing, you know, like a wedding shower is a concept. Like I thought a divorce closet is like a thing that divorce people do, but apparently it's their entrepreneurial endeavor. It's a real business and Rob is foolish enough to go into business with Gina. So he's like, he's taking her goddamn money, giving her no equity and she's such a fucking

idiot. And that's what I said in the first time we saw it, which which who knows if I'm right, but I'll bet you I am. She's just gonna invest in this and give him all the money to do and it's gonna fail and he's gonna be out of there. Yeah, because she was like, so what is my role in this exactly? Are we going to be equal partners, I'm not so, I'm like, good luck with that, Gina.

I'm like, and he's a part of actor's equity. And he's like, well, good luck with that, sheenah. I'm like, that is a part of actor's equity. And he's like, well, you're the face of it, but I have maturity equity and she's like, all right, I want you to talk. I just can't stop hearing your eyes. I saw blood. I get lost in your eyes. And I feel so what's the next line, Rob?

Rob, you always know everything Now normally I would be like he's such a dick, you know taking all her money saying like oh you'll be the face It but I'll have a majority of equity But when he says that to her and her responses Sometimes when you're talking your eyes are just very blue today, I'm like, I kind of get it. Yes. I don't think you want to give that person equity. Yeah, it's like when you're watching a cell game on a sidewalk, you're rooting for the

cells. You're like, chicken. Chicken. So then, um, she knows like, my divorce is going to be fine. I'm going to be fine. I'm going to be fine. And next time I married is going to be the year. I don't think that ironic.

Don't you think? And he's like, a going to be the year. That's what that ironic. Don't you think? And he's like a little too ironic. Yeah, I really do think. Oh my god. Rob's kind of got to be able to ironic seven shirts and less than seven.

Rob's like, wow. And she's like, yeah. And then her nose grunts just like she's on Bwitch. OK, can I just ask a question? Is there anybody in the audience who wants to be the face of divorce? I'm not even. Maybe Lisa Edelstein. Sina is the old.

Sarah Jessica Parker. Sina is the only fucking person that would think that sounds like a fun idea. Like, oh my god, he loves me. I'm the face of divorce. I think when Shuna hears the words, do you want to be the face of, dot, dot, dot, it doesn't matter what happens next. So like, do you want to be the face of cancer?

Sure. Do you want to be the face of alligator deaths? Sure. Don't be the face of genocide. Sure. Do you want to be the face of those little diet coke ring holders Getting dolphin stuck in the water and unable to open their mouths Rob is like staunch but real like he has me as like the face of diabetes

Two I mean it's like the last scary one. My style. I'm in. I'm like the face of like a nerve agent. I don't even know what a nerve agent is, but it's like really cool to be represented. I got my name, Jen, and Rob got me an equity. It's called a nerve agent. Apparently they get like, they have like a lot of nerve, so they'll really be able to advocate for me. They're apparently, I guess the agency's called Orange.

Hey guys, round up. I'm the face of Roundup. No, she'd be the face of weeds. I'm Black Flag. So let's go over to Fandabum, my sexy prince, sexy boy, give me a kiss. And yes, she's talking to a horse with a Barbie crown So yeah, so Lisa's at her stables, but not the stables that are down at Elma not a fancy stable like daddy's

My mr. Bear She's like, Brick me. Hello. Thank you for coming to this day. Where I get respite. I have a host for you. And she's like, oh my god, we went to prom together. God, I'm done. There's a long time. And Brick is like, these horses sure are a lot bigger than the ones in my farm. And then they cut to her farm and she's the miniature horses. And I just like cracked up because it's like such a dumb thing to say like obviously they are cuz you got miniature horses

Well, she's also the only person ever to have the same animals as Lisa Vanderpump Which is hilarious like Lisa Vanderpump is my her match in the Hooters waitress Lisa Vanderpump would go steal those fuckers if one of them had a limp and you know she yeah So this is it and call it horsey horse Now you don't have to ride the horse you don't have to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable I guess unless it means dating jacks I Won't do anything uncomfortable either while I'm on this horse like hugging which is why I've got a gigantic hat So I can have my personal space while I'm on this horse, like hugging, which is why I've got a gigantic hat so I can have my personal space while I'm on this horse.

I modeled my hat after the arena in the Sochi Olympics. So this is an awkward scene, but it's one of the Savannah Prumps favorite kinds, where she can literally be looking down on somebody. She loves it. It's her favorite kind of scene. In this case, Britney's just here on her high horse. She's literally looking down and on her high horse. In her hat shield, in her hugged shield hat. It's like Lisa Vanderfub classic scene. So she's just walking, the basically they're walking because Britney won't get on the horse. So she's looking down on her the whole time. And she's like, will get on the horse so she's looking down on her the whole time and she's like now jacksy jacksys and jacksys February you're you're in hell getting ready for the with this speech like

I'm to get into least event for mode Like those clouds on the snowboard of Mario Anyway go on She's like Jack's Taylor. Why must you feel the need to make things better and celebrate when he's treated you that crap Why don't you make him suffer? Don't tell him I told you. That's a huge secret that you would think that. You still won't speak to him about being free to your catering event. Well vacation doesn't really well. He's a different person.

Like one time when he had these great sunglasses, I didn't even recognize him. I'm like, since winter vacation does do jacks well, okay? How many of them has he been imprisoned on? I know, exactly. Also, you had dumb idiot, that's called vacation. You can only go on vacation so many times. Like you are like, it's one thing to be,

like to be in love on a vacation, but you gotta live your normal life, your everyday life in West Hollywood, walking around to Alfred coffee while he's sniffing your feet, you know, like that's coffee. I love that the coffee is also a butler for Batman, that's nice. So Brittany tells her about the raky and of course Vanderpump is on this like fly some poobies.

She's like, what does rakey after doing with him doing a tart or without him being tart how are things he going is it with a man or a woman does he smell like normal pickle juice feet breath or does he smell like the ginors tell me the truth break me she's like well he says it's calming him down to the guess that's what unloading a load does to a world that Brickney. Well, at least he hasn't gone to her chocolate croissant. That's always his tale that he wants to bone someone. He hasn't done that, right? Is it a croissant if it looks like a rectangle?

Just please tell me he didn't pretend to own real plates. Just please tell me he doesn't have new rocks What's about to real therapists when someone questions him and says why would you change your last name from Kouchy to anything else Kouches is so comfortable She's like I don't get it No, Brittany is really like I actually I feel bad for her because she is trapped in a pattern that was probably not Not in her control is Probably things she observed growing up is probably in it's no the cycle. It's when these things happen. It's a cycle

I don't I didn't watch her spin off so I don't know what the mom and the dad are like together But obviously some something is something has happened in her development where she is just putting herself out like a doormat. I mean, it's one thing to throw him a party, this cheating guy throwing him a party, and then to do this whole birthday for like a non-essential birthday, it's, he turned 38. I've, listen Ronnie, we're both over 38. Where are our special Mexican trips? Because we turned 38. No where, because you don't celebrate 38 like that.

Well, because we're not dating like abusers. Yeah. But this to me, like, I don't really care about our background and all that shit, because at this point, it's like watching a lifetime movie that never ends. It's like, is somebody going to stab Rob Lowe? Or am I going to be here for nine years?

Yeah. When does this end? At least people in those movies finally fucking figure it out. Brittany is just too stupid. Like, there's literally nothing for Brittany to be staying for. I can't... well, except, you know, the cameras that are filming her right now walking besides a horse. Or besides a horse. Yeah, exactly. That's pretty much what it is. But I don't know. I just... it's painful to watch. besides the horse, or besides horse. Yeah, exactly. That's pretty much what it is.

But I don't know. I just, it's painful to watch, not only that she took him back, it takes him back fine. Okay, like I don't think she should have, but I know a lot of relationships, they have these things that they're gonna push through whatever, fine.

I don't approve it, but it's your relationship. But then to like go out of your way to do all this stuff for him and he doesn't really seem very appreciative and he still is He's angry at you for doing the simplest things kicking you out for raky raky gal You know, I just think this guy is a real he's a real tool and he's gone away for a few years with us thinking that he's just a lovable Buffoon, but no, he's not and gotten away with that mother here. Well the past few seasons We you know it's about jacks Either way, we then go to Tom Tom and the,

you know, Tom and Tom are there with with Ken Lisa and then Nicolaine arrives and I just love Lisa bandages. My show. My show. Tink Tink Tink. All right. He's beginning. Tom, like hold on on let me get my horn

I don't think I've ever seen the savander pump so in awe of another person, right? Like she's admired other people, but this is we this is next level I've never seen her act this way around someone else This is a man who knows Santa Lear's and giant swinging pengelums. I mean, this is everything she dreams of. I've never seen her cry harder than when King God of that God damn swing made out of ribbons and flowers. A swinging pengelam. Oh, have you been smoking the pot? Mr. Rain. So she is, so Nikolayn comes in and he presents his design ideas for Tom Tom and he's like, all right, we're gonna do, I don't even remember if he has a British accent, but I'm gonna give him one.

He's like, we're gonna do, we're gonna do a floor to ceiling pendulum. It's like, what is happening in this restaurant? I'm sure to look cool, but it sounds bonkers. Well, you got to love that she took a Dilda store and took the, took, changed it into a Swinger store because every every idea he has it's like and it swings. And she's like, oh, he's like, I've put in a team. Yeah, the team burden landscape. It can cost the world. But with a pendulum. With a color that cheat, she a lame.

Pardon me. So she's like, uh, Tom's like, oh, guess what? I came up with five different drinks. I can pour one right now. This one is made with miscal, scorpion and fused honey, uh, sharpie juice. Sharpie juice. Sharpie juice and sharpie hair. It's, it's like a 19 ingredients. Okay. Now, congratulations. Nobody wants to make that drink. I actually muddled up the inside of my thermos and then I added it in. I call it thermos powder. This is literally scratching my throat. Yeah, so he's like dude, so like the scorpion chili was like the hottest chili in the world for like in his book of world records for like three years dude. So it's gonna have some heat. You get stung by the scorpion you get stung by scorpion you get stung by the scorpion

Dude and Oprah's canceled. It's like the worst Oprah ever Everyone's like where is that coming from? Well, I think it's from in between those two twin beds We put in the corner of Tom Tom. I have no fucking the address Everybody reach under your seat talking to you guys. Everybody reach under your seat. Oh! That's like a whole audience of women's shopping. You get an ask. You get a scorpion. So you get a black widow. She's like, well, I was wondering why are they doing this now with me,

her name. Yeah, but what have I been? I stand up because I was here. The master Elaine. So she drinks basically and can't grab this no your parents. Yeah, I Didn't notice that I was gonna say a remind me of when I was a little kid of my parents have a dinner party And then you sort of like come wandering out as a kid because you sort of like want to tension and then everyone's like look There's like Ben and I was like, yay, you know

You're like mom mom is on it. Ben Jolum. It's like when you're a little kid at dinner party and like, you want to press the adults, you come out and you're like, I made a drink with scorpion peppers in it. And everyone's like, oh, they're like, now, please go back to bed. Which is pretty much how it happened. Yeah.

So Christy and Stasi are packing for Mexico. Well, everybody's packing for Mexico.ian Stasi are packing for Mexico. Well, everybody's packing for Mexico. And Stasi is just over Kristen. I don't know what the hell is happening off camera at this point, but it's hilarious. Because Kristen's like, we can't fight Katie's married. So Stasi is totally evil with Kristen. She's like, well, I was thinking about this. And she's like, um, love it, but it swallows you. So she's like, hmm, I like it when it goes the other way around. So then she knows, at she knows players, we just hear a lot of good. I'd like to star see to a Christian. told Kristen I'm nervous AF about rimming with you because let's face that you're an emotional terrorist and Kristen's like oh, I'm not

I'm a real terrorist Then Ariana and Tom are packing and Ariana just seems so bored with this whole idea. She's like Guess I'll put some clothes in the bag. I guess I got a Mexico fine One thing I love about this couple is I wrote Arianna Tom. How many bikinis does what need? And I was like, you really don't know which one's asking that unless you label it. Yeah. Yeah, Tom's like, hey, can we match? She's like, no. Yeah, if we work at a footlocker that start selling bathing suits,

this is where it looks. Check out bikini briefs. It's like the whore footlocker. So in Mexico, Tom and Katie get their room and they're still doing that thing where they're like, Pobo, we're so happy. God is me crazy being happy. Look, it's a Marriotti badge. He brought that from Mexico for me. No one is buying it. Every time I see these two trying to act like they're the happiest couple in the world, they're always the fakes lines ever. And it makes me sad for Katie.

And I do not want to feel sad for Katie. Okay. Katie is really trying to hold it in because it was only a few episodes ago that it surfaced that Tom like kissed another girl and that got totally swept onto the rug. Like she, she is biting her tongue, because she does not want to be a crazy bitch like last season. So she's just like, no, Baba, I'm like so happy. Yeah, no, you kissed her girl in New York City,

but you thought it was me. It's fine. It's fine, Baba. It's fine. She thought it was me this time. He's like, look, babe. There's like $10 peanuts here. And now we can have them. I'm like, oh my God, you don't even see that you're literally working for peanuts. Have you looked at the contract of Vanderfiltkabue because you are making enough things, sir? Yeah, meanwhile James is being in a way. I'm in Mexico bitch. Like, shut up.

And then Stasi is like, she's like marking her bed that she wants with herself Tanner. She's like, this is my bed, AF because I put all my tan on it. Like, age of maloof. And then Jack's, he gives such a backhand and compliment. He's like, I'm actually very surprised that Brittany went out of her way to make me a birthday, my birthday awesome. I'm like, that is so backhand, it's just awful. Right after she gave you a birthday party at Hooters downtown of all places. Yeah.

Yeah, Jerk. So they get a private hot tub with jacks. You know, jacks just because he's a compulsive liar. It's like, I got my own pool. I like that as a hot tub. But I'll stick with you. I'll keep watching. So Peter, he's like, I got a private pool,

Peter and James. And then I felt bad for James, which is another person I never want to feel bad for. He's like, it's the first time Mr. Taylor invited me to his birthday party. I remember when I was on the upside, I wrote a song about it called Pussy Pussy on the Upside. I felt over the moon about it. I just feel so good. I'm like, this is the saddest thing I've ever seen in my life. Like, what made your life was being invited into Texas like, skanky ass, probably blowy hot tub.

I felt bad for Peter because I don't think anyone realized he was there. Like Peter was fully on this vacation. They just were like acting like he just did not exist. Peter probably didn't even know he was there. He's like, would you like me to just take you to your seat? It's like, not that they've been there. I read online that Peter is growing as hair long again. Well, glad they got that one in print.

Yeah. So Jackson is in a great mood. And he says it's probably because of Kelsey. So even though his girlfriend has brought him to Mexico to paradise, given him a beautiful suite with his own private quote unquote pool, it's still Kelsey who's put him in a good mood. I know.

Brittany's really trying to not have a bitch. Well, who didn't but Frazier? I mean, I know that when I go through hard times, so you can really, I mean, Niles. Uh, Niles in my right. I guess we then cut back to, um, there was like a shot of Kristen just bouncing on a bed. I don't know if you saw she's just bouncing. Reminding me of those like, those like,

temperatid commercials, they drop a bowling ball on a mattress and just see what happens. Just like, was my unbound saying, do you feel it? Do you feel it, Stasi? Sometimes I'm wondering if that, sometimes I just wonder if the government is paying for this show because, you know,

Mexico's like, okay, we'll build a wall. We'll build a fucking wall, okay? We're gonna pay for the whole thing. Just please get her off of our beds. Yeah, they're putting a wall to keep us out. Yes, exactly. It's like to keep Kristen out. Yeah, so Tom, SantaVall then explains

how crimping in Mexico is these things. Like getting ready in Mexico is different than an LA man. I got exfoliated and like I can't, it's a humid environment. So guys, let's hear Moose and more air spray and like, it's hard dude, it's so hard! Uh, when I use a flat iron, I, uh, stick with digital, so... Always good digital. Visualize your flat irons, everyone. Visualize your flat irons. Uh, earning hair, I'm a man's escaping Camille, you know.

So Brittany and Jack are getting ready and he's like, I'm gonna tell Tom Tom, it's like 95% I'm gonna take my dream job opportunity. So that, we haven't really talked about it. And he goes, oh, I thought you knew about it. JX, that wasn't a job opportunity, it was a group poem. How many times I have to tell tell you you have not been invited He's like do not make to whack my plate alone You've been invited. He's like I just got hired by a trampoline park to do social media

Well actually in the case of trampoline parks that may actually be a true story because the best what the bolitos bond up doing I In the case of trampoline parks that may actually be a true story because the bus with the bullie knows bond up doing I Know that's why I thought of it because I always see it on group on it's like would you like a five-year-old iPad or would you like to go to a trampoline park Well, Britt, I'm sorry, but unfortunately we have to move because I just got a job Building projectors that way you can project stuff from your iPhone onto your wall. JX, that's the group home. I guess, well, Britt, I've been hired to be in the suits.

JX, group home. He's like, why would you even stay here? What's holding you here? Not our friends, okay? Because we're not children anymore. Like, uh, you're reverting to your childhood name and paying for hugs from a mother figure. So. Yeah, and also, that's all your life has been about friends. And he's like, friends don't pay the bills.

I'm like, I'm sure many of your friends have paid your bills, many literally do. Lisa Vanderpump literally pays your bills so. Also, classic abusive behavior, separating her from her friends. Like, I'm what's important to you, not your friends. When we talk about this, it has to be between you and me. It can't be with everyone else.

Like isolating her is like patterns of isolation. It's really fucked up, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but that's fucked up. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry But that's not okay So she's like taxi and even thinking about my feelings especially after all the heart rate guy went through oh my god I can't even listen to her anymore. Okay. I can't listen to her and I can't listen to him. You're both idiots Yeah, I'm a fan of pump because Vander pump told her all right then

Yeah, yeah, because Vanderpump told her all right then this is what you signed up for I will co-sign that and I will take 3% of the profits in return for no money. Thank you. No exactly. I mean she She looks she doesn't get like I said before she doesn't get off scoffery. She should know she should know she's you She's you But but Jack says like this is a dream job. This is dream job even though we can't even say what it is and And then Brittany's like but you though we can't even say what it is and And then Brittany's like, but you just sat you didn't even talk to me even in like talk to me about and he goes I'm talking to you right now, which is one of my least favorite things I hate when people do that. I'm doing it right now like no, this is not the conversation. This is the fight It's not the conversation and then she doesn't know what to do

She's like you're gonna make me turn down my dream job and she she's like, well, I have a dream of not being cheated on. Which is a good response. Okay. I think that's a good response. You know, really not not to me. She's just keeps staying with this guy. I mean, what do you mean? I mean, admittedly, technically, if we're looking at it, she had this whole moment where it's like, well, if we're gonna move on with this relationship, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna like throw this in space. I have to move on it too. But if he's saying thing, if he's like, if the new parameters of the relationship

is that she's treated better and he's not treating her better, then I guess I feel like it's okay to like, just stay, just stay. That's what you should do. Just stay, just stay, be a door map. You're doing the right thing. Be a door map, be like a proper sized door map. Don't do a small door map.

You need to. So, Jackson's like, well I'm burnt out. It's stuck. It's right right here it's right here in my chest I'm like that is wing sauce and cocaine sir okay you know it's only gonna get worse in Tampa trust if you're concerned about your chest burning up then don't wear such a deep v-neck yeah stop you probably just shaved so sir everybody's fake working and really really really just cracks me out because every time she comes in, she's like,

welcome to sunset, pull it out. So Vanderpump's like, hello, Billy. It's like, hey, darling. And then she's like, hey, Joe, I didn't want it going out like that. I want twice as much mozzarella and tomato sticks on a tray. And Bayzer leaves Joe making sexy Joe. Sir, is sexy Joe Joe put some leaves around it I was like I cannot even believe these words are coming out of her mouth

It's like has she been listening to our podcast. She is doing our impersonation of her She literally said put some leaves around it like basil leaves around it make it look sexy Joe sir is sexy I don't know what scattered basil leaves have has to do with being sexy but I get it. I know me too what else you're gonna do with mozzarella and tomato sticks it's like how about you come up with something fucking new please I'm like Lisa it's a slab of chocolate cake don't put the basil on it. But it's sexy basil. So Vanderfuck is now doing her intro to Adam and Wesley these two. Next gen. Van der Faest employees of next generation. Yes. So Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to... Adam wants to be a bartender. He wants to graduate from bar back or as a lot of people saw last week Bearback, but he wants to go from bearback to bartender

And so Lisa's like fine Then I guess we have to pass a very sexy test make me a mojito Will he put basically it or will he not? I love that question I love that question Lisa. Sorry I just skived in from Mexico. Shishu, Adiad, Wes, Wes. So he can't make a mojito. He fills it up halfway and Wesley's like, dude, soda. And he's like, soda. Oh, just put that sweet and sour.

I love that Vanderpump loves highlighting how stupid her employees are. She doesn't every time. Remember last year when Katie O'Shanasi or Mally or oh my. Yeah, there was getting a Mally that like that that like hosted want to be hosts as you never turned out to be anything. I'll test you. What's kind where is Chile and C bass from? She's like ah, not you're wrong. And I thought, oh, they're going to bring her back on after she's learned, but they never did. And it turns out she's working the stuff that Stasi's pretending to do at Sir. She does the party planning and stuff like that at Sir. And I was like, just poor Katie O'Malley, just can't catch a break, man. Yeah. So Adam, so Adam, but Sweden's sour mix in that

mohito. And they're all like, uh, Adam. I'm like, Lisa, you're the one who said you wanted to try something you hadn't had before so here it is. If I need this, I'll pump in power. Some sex, but it's not he can't do that very well, but then again, now that can jack some that we have a montage of facts making bohitos with sweetens hour in them. I love that Jack's montage. Just like just fucking up drink after drink and then ultimately dropping a entire bottle of Don Julio. Yes. Oh, that's so Jack. So then we go to dinner.

Are we at dinner? Yes. Get where dinner time. It's like shots. Yeah. Shot. Shot. What are the plans for tomorrow?

And Britain is like, what are parking mentioned? Tossining what else? Oh, that reminds me tears to seniors And she was like I have a content on my phone and I've also sleep in the forest to suck. I saw Happy no mere and I'm single and ready to mingle, but only one a mingle with rob I'm single and ready to mingle, but only when I'm going to rob. So I got a agent and I'm an equity. So yeah, I'm an agent aren't now. So it's the sheena turns to Christians like even Rob's like, it hasn't been that long.

Or like, I don't feel like you processed everything yet. And I'm like, he's so wise. Like Rob is like the man who hangs up a TV and some of my notes. I'm like, oh my god, I can't believe she's saying this. So it's like kind of hot. Okay. Like it's so hot Crossword puzzles and every answer could be Rob. I'm gonna shoot myself for the face Okay, I actually think sausage right. I think if you ever looked at she does Crossword puzzle just like Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob? Rob. So let's see, Jackson's like, pros.

Tom Thomas talking private and James is like, what are they talking about? Jax got over here. I'm talking about that for James. Jackson bought. Jackson bought. Come on, can we show your news with James? DJ James Kennedy, I'll spread out the word. Like, see you next Tuesday

Sun okay girl. I've got news to you. Sunt Hey bro. Sunt Hey bro. This is just having out flyers to random people in the So Jack next to you down aside and he's like guys I need structure and security You guys got a bar I'm happy for him, but I'm jealous. I'm still living this Peter Pan syndrome and I'm sick of smelling like peanut butter and I can't escape it. He's like, so I got a job working in hockey and Tampa. Yeah, doing some sort of like social media marketing and they're like, yeah, you know, something real secure because you know know like sports. That's like the most secure job you can get sports You know like

Tweety structure And then he goes come on guys like I gotta do something to I'm 40 and then they're like you're a 40 bell and it's like I'm two years away and Sound of our number two is like don't ever see that again San DeVa are number two's like, don't ever see that again. Don't say things you can't take back, Jacks. And San DeVa was like all devincy's like, dude, this is like the guy used to throw pizza

when he was having sex behind the sheet in our whole department. He banged my axe right in front of me. He wants framing for murder, and he almost got away with it. I spent 40 days in jail for this guy. I can't even go. Yeah, there is something. I'm still waiting to see what happens

that pisses Tom off with Jackson because he's so supportive in these scenes. And then in all of his talking heads, he's like, what a loser. But they go back to the table and Britney's like, girls, I got knees knees Lisa has a big horse It is huge Focus Britney

It's like a walking bridge She's like well, Jack Scott is a dream job someplace doing something and Kristen goes that actually happened because that actually happened. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah But he's like, I'm not sure I was gonna ask all sorts of questions, but in a bang my knee up real good on the chair. I guess it always was, was by the table, but I think you remember being by the couch. And Stasi's like, and so you're expected to move with him and she's like, I just don't understand. It's being struck on me. It's like this cast is hopeless. Yeah. Like, they're hopeless. I'm sick seriously. Yeah, I feel like a crazy person

You deserve the best of the best and mom is like that man has given you no reason to consider giving him what he wants Which is all true, you know, and then she now out of nowhere is like guys if she's in love She's on mom That's what Rob said. He's so wise Guys not just in a needs game. Yeah, what the fuck is she talking about? Yeah, well that's like, didn't you just try and hook him up with a bartender?

Yeah, that's when they're all like, well, Shino, you try to like get Adam to be with with Brittany and now it's being, and now I think it's like Shino or Arianna, they're all talking, everyone's talking all at once. And now it's being reframed as, no, it wasn't like take to break out the relationship, it was just supposed to be a confidence boost for her. Like, mm, okay.

I mean, I supported it fully. But like, no, this is totally Ariana's friendship and reforming. Because last week, Sheena was like, yeah, I'm gonna break him up because he said something about Rob and he's gonna get what he deserves. And then you can tell that Ariana's talk to her because she

is like trying to hack nice and then Ariana's the one who's like, well, the way that you described to me was that maybe you thought it would be a confidence boost. It's like, come on, she never remembers. Remember she now. Come here. Come here. And then James is like, that's rude. and then James is like, that's rude. That is rude. It's so mean to read is there. So, so Jackson's back to the table and Lala's like, so what's going on with Tampa? Why do you want to move that shit hole place, huh?

And he's like, he's like, oh, it's like, well, what about the position? What's this job you're doing? He's like, oh, well, it's like Twitter and like a computer keyboard. And it's like a parallel and it'll be a chair and a desk. And you know, his petty ass is lying because now that Stasi's sitting there, he's like, oh, social marketing and events and events. It's events too.

I'm like, oh, okay. Now you're saying you got Stasi's job. Yeah, he's like looking at everything. He's like, I mean, I'll be serving, you know, they'll be palm trees I'll have to be like eating dinner rolling of napkins sitting in a chair Looking like a real That's just things were Or talk about Like you just sell you know how it goes

Black Elvis. So, um, there are, it's like, well, what about Britney? Like what's, what's Britney gonna do? Whatever, like, you know, what about Britney's dreams? Like doesn't Britney have things that she wants through their life? And she's like, yeah, Jack's what, what do I want to do, Jack? Do you remember? And he's like, he basically is like, he's like, yeah, well, what do you want to do? I'm sorry, I forget.

What do you want to do with your life again? Which is like, so unsmoo. And then she's like, I told him I love helping kids with mental disabilities. And I was like, well, then you're living your dream. What do you know what's funny about? You know what's funny? When she said, my dream is to help kids with mental disabilities. I was like, well, I was like, well, that explains this relationship. And then I was like, mm, I don't know if I should make that joke. And then I was like, you know what? Ronnie will.

Ronnie will do it. Ronnie will do it. Ronnie will do it. Well, she said disability. It's allowed. It's within the realm. Well, honestly, the thing is this, Jack's, when he is like put on the spot, and he could have been,

if you didn't remember what Brittany's dream, her lifelong dream is, first of all, that's shitty. But second of all, at least like try to be like, well, I mean, your dream, at least rely on your old bag of Jack's tricks and be like, well, your dream change is every single week. Blame her. Like, I can't believe you actually sat there and was like, what's your dream again? Well, you know that he's sitting there. You know he's sitting there thinking, like,

now's not the time to be saying that she just lives off from my money won't even make me ham sandwich. Yeah. You know that that's, he's like, they're all gonna attack me if I say that because you know that's what he's about to say. And he's like, where are you about Carter? Like, no, because Christians, oh,

because he goes, he goes, don't talk to me like that, Lala. And she's like, you're no longer a single man. This is a partnership. And he goes, don't talk to me that way, which is he shouldn't talk to her that way. And she's like, I can speak to you how I want. I have seen you disrespect over, disrespect people over and over. And I'm going to put a cap in your ass. I'm too far. Respect her, Jaxiics. He's like, you don't know me well enough to talk like that. And she's like, I don't know you.

And then it shows clips of Jax just hitting on Bala. Like, I don't have a girlfriend. And he has a different face in every clip they show. And I'm actually just like, oh, no, you're well with all of that. Yeah. By the way, we should also give a shout out to Lala who decided to wear a Lion King makeup to this scene I was like good for you. I'm glad someone decided to put on that like ultra-contoured golden

Makeup. It's the circle of soul suck. I was like I'm glad Julie Tamor is being represented in this scene. Thank you There's just puppets forming behind them into a big land face Well, I was just holding up a little. It's the circle of jacks There's just puppets forming behind them into a big land face. I was just holding up a little. It's the circle of jacks. It's the wheel of misfortune. So he's like, you don't know what goes on behind closed doors. Guess what? We do because faith recorded it. You son of a bitch.

So we all know and you also never close your door. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. He wouldn't even be talking about pooping because their doors open James is like he's watch out everybody. He's gonna lose his temper in a second. We're it dinner This cast is so crazy. It really is a revolving door of who's gonna be crazy this week I know it really is then Tom Then Tom Sandevol, who already is on thin ice, pretty much thin ice from how he yelled at the girls last week, he starts yelling at Stasi and he's like, dude, you're being a little inappropriate.

You're being a little inappropriate, Stasi. I mean, admittedly, Stasi is almost always inappropriate. And, like, Tom, don't, don't. Look, this is calm, Tom, not yelling it women at dinner. This is inappropriate. She's like better Keep going. He's like listen. I'm sorry. I just found out my friend might be taking a job in Florida I'm like, okay, Tom's a real victim here. Yes, it's not the girl who's boyfriend is doing the same thing That's what we're talking about right now I love it when they all wind up yelling at each other and I think silly.

So the girls just are like, fuck you. And then they just get up and leave the table with it's the best, the best way they deal with it. So you know, the trip is going well. Yeah, this is another fun van der Pum rules trip. Another fun trip. Well, that was super fun. Love this show is so good. I'm I just never get over it So why don't we now that we're done with that? Why don't we head on over to our little contest the contest So look at some of these these these contributions to our castell look at some of these contributions to our Castell contest. A Castell Contribution. Castell Contributions.

This was for those of you who don't remember, have no idea what we're talking about. We're giving a board game away called Castell. And the game is about human towers in Catalonia. And so we asked people to make photoshops of photoshopped images of Bravo Stars and Human Towers. Naturally. So we're going to look through some of them to see which ones are our favorites.

So I'm looking at the hashtag crappensgame. Are you there too, Ronnie? I'm sure I am. So let's see, the first one. I see this one is by Lucite Vision. They put up an image of the first one, I see this one is by Lucite Vision. They put up an image of the birds Dubai, which is kind of hilarious.

And it's kind of like, it's a human tower of housewives splitting their legs. Do you see this? Yeah, it's a cheerleading tower. Yeah. This is my god, Ramona's at the top. Her face is amazing. That is the perfect Ramona face

Wait Ramona. No, I'm seeing this one is this was by Lucide vision It says the crown was too heavy for the Burj Khalifa housewives human tower is now the tallest in the world And the bottom is Kyle Richards and then it's holding up cowards just doing the splits holding up Danielle Stop holding up Yolanda Foster, holding up Lisa Rinna, holding up Erica Jean, and then at the very top, is that Bethany? I think it's Bethany in her ice skates from skating with the stars. Very strong. Hilarious. This one of Sheena is great. This is by Shaburkern. Shaburkern. Shaburkern. Shaburkern. And it was done at Sir Restaurant. And it's Sheena on top. She's standing on top. It looks like they're in a Vegas club. She's standing on top of everybody.

In some ice skating outfit that says Rob on it. Yes. And everyone, there's like a couple of printing canvases of Sina and Rob. Yes. Being held up. I'm with the shape of the L.A. Times. Well, the important feature is that she's standing on a human tower of Sina's.

It's their all Sina's. Oh my God. Oh, I thought one was Kristen. God, you guys stop taking your faces. Please, it's hard to keep up in an Instagram post They're all she know this is actually not it's not from Shabokern. It's from hello Harlett Shabokern just oh At hello Harlett says they're at the beginning. Sorry. I saw who posted this one

Yeah, there's a close-up of she now and then there's a close-up of she at the very bottom Exclusive does she need to get her smile back? In the alley. He's reading a newspaper, the last night of the time, on the cover is a picture of Sina and Rob. And the headline is this Sina get her smile back. There's also an image of Sina holding up her CD of good as gold. And her also holding up the tattoo.

It's all happening. Right next to her when she's trying to cry with her Botox face and she can't. Yes, it's kind of brilliant. I see the one you were talking about before from Miss Danielle Link, whereas the cheer tower from New York City, whereas it's hilarious. It's John, Adam, Tinsley and Tom are on the base of the tower. This is by the way, it's the tower from bring it on, but their faces are on it.

And then the next year is Luan, Carol, Sonia, and above them is Bethany and Durinda and I'm on top making that face. God Ramona's face. That is so good. So that's why Miss Dan Yelink, yeah. Yeah. There is one, there's like a leaning tower of pizza, which is pretty amazing. And Kenya Moore is holding it up. And it looks like there's a clear hierarchy going on here. Because the base level is like Danielle Stauble, like this Blinow, Megan King Edmonds, Viva Dresher, and what's her face?

One of the black in your name. Next to a Viva, Megan King Edmonds. No, next to Megan, it's what's her face? One of them, like, in her name. Next to Aviva? Megan Kingman? No, next to Megan, what's her face? Balls, Boyage. Lydia. Lydia, yeah. But then at the very top is Andy Cohen. Yes.

That one's hilarious. That's a terrible eye image. All of these are terrifying. That's what's amazing about them. Cell block B is this tower by Linda Jacqueline Smith. This is a Lerner. It's just it's a it's called Cell block B and it's just all the different housewives in and their mug shots. Let's see. Yes, that's a very strong one. Um, there's one I really like. This isn't early entry. This one's by a Stenomere 512 and it's basically it's a dance studio. And it's this like big tangle of Bravo celebrities where like it has all sorts of like funny, interesting relationships.

Like chef Rose balancing on one foot on top of Mikey Minden with Tom Schwartz stacked on top of him. And he's extending his hand and Camille Grammar sitting on that. She breaks the whole tower. And Melania is at the very top of the entire tower. This one is a bunch of people on champagne glasses. Like they're on top of champagne. This is all the below deck. It's a below deck.

It's a below deck themed tower. And the top is the top is the captain going, gee dear God damn it. It's about the plus side of me. Yeah, I'm good. Okay, really good. Right. That one's about you at a plus side of me. You guys are all doing really good jumps. There's one Donna Bowman, Donna E. Bowman. It's basically the housewives as cheerleaders. And it's a really disturbing thing. It's Bethany on top of Lydia from Melbourne

or Ramona, do you see Ramona? Ramona on top of Shannon Bedouard and LeWanne, this is great also. LeWanne propping up Vicky Gumball's in. And I love that they're doing this on Vicky's patio, her old patio. Yes, it is her patio and there's Stephanie Stephanie made it in there from Dallas Oh, did we have any Leon lockins in here? That would be a shame if Leanne did not get into any of these towers. I'm sure she's somewhere It's the funniest housewives cast ever if they did this as a housewives cast Okay, so let's pick our winner. I've picked them on you pick you's oh my god. I am so torn

I actually really really like so many of these, but you you say yours first. Mine is Sina, the reputation of Sina Marie. I think that is fucking brilliant. All the different bases of Sina. You know what? That was my pick too. The others are all so, so good, like so good, but this reputation of Shinomori, all these Shinas and the little the little things in there with the print of Canvas and the newspaper and Shay. So many phases of Shinomori. Congratulations. Yes, congratulations. Email us and we'll we'll get you a copy of that board game and everyone check out these entries. And by the way, there was another entry that someone made,

someone who was like, I don't have Photoshop, I don't know how to do this. So I'm going to, I basically did like an arts and crafts project and I forget who you are, but I want to say thank you for making that because that was also very strong. Yes, thank you guys so much for entering this and thanks for the game you guys. Yeah, thanks Renegade games.

Don't forget to get to also join our other contest to get to go to our Detroit show and go to watchcraftens.com to buy tickets to that show for any show really. And tomorrow we are back with Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. And so we are looking forward to that. Thanks for hearing us out this episode and I hope that we're all back to hugging each other in one big happy family. So bye guys. Bye everybody. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today.

Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. short survey at 1dry.com slash survey.