Watch What Crappens - Vegas, Shootings, and Bunco

Episode Date: March 20, 2012

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From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. This episode of Watch What Crappens is brought to you by Gamefly. Go to Gamefly.com forward haha for your free 15-day trial. Hey everybody, welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast all things Bravo. I'm Ronnie Karam from TVgasm.com and I'm with Ben Mandelker from B-Side Blog and Matt Whitfield from Yahoo Entertainment. Wow, well done Ronnie.

Yeah, sorry for messing up your name Matt. Yeah, whatever. That's okay. Listen. Ben will speak for me, it's okay. You know what, it's okay because we haven't actually met each other. So, you know, we're not expected to know each other's names. It's like a blind date.

Well, hi, everybody. Hi. Hi. Hi. Have you been enjoying your Bravo shows? Did you guys catch Shots of Sunset last night? Oh, my God. I loved it. I thought...

You did? How could you not love it? I have something – I have a lot to say about it. So once we get started, I'm excited. Okay, why don't you start with the positive and then I'll be negative after. So that way people can have a nice positive outlook and then I'll crash it. Okay, well, and before we do, we're just going to let the listeners know we're going to talk about Shazza Sunset, Real Housewives of Atlanta, including some news about a shooting involving the cast,

and Real Housewives of Orange County. And then we're going to wrap things up with Interior Therapy with Jeff Lewis. So Shazza Sunset, Episode 2, I am very happy with the way this show is going. I am very, very, very happy. What do you guys think?

Ronnie, you hate it. I just said that he hates it. What about you, Matt? Um, I think that I hate it, too. What? You loved it last week. Well, I love it, but I hate it, and I hate Gigi with all of my being. Oh, well, no, she is absolutely terrible. Can I tell you what I'm actually really

excited about? Yes. My building made a cameo appearance on the show because MJ officially lives across the street from me in the same condo complex as The Miz. So all I've got to say is there's a lot of star power going on in this block. Just let that soak in. I'm hearing you guys just silent because I know you're too stunned to speak that MJ is just 100 feet to my right. Okay, well, can we just talk about this? Because, I mean, you know, I love The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills because they're

actually rich. Now that I'm watching Shaws of Sunset, I'm convinced that maybe two of them have money and the rest of them are poor. And that is not a knock on you, Ben, because you live on Fuller. I am just saying that MJ is poor. In the episode last night, they go to Vegas. They get wasted. They all act like idiots. But I didn't laugh at all, not even one time.

Oh, I was laughing like the entire time. As grouchy as I sound, I'm a fairly easy audience. I'm not the one who's never laughing. I'm always laughing. How could you not be laughing when every five seconds they would cut to an image of MJ snarfing down a mini cheeseburger. Yeah, they would. They gave her the most unflattering edit of all time. They love a slider.

Yeah, they love a slider. And they love yelling about the sliders too. If they can yell about it, if they can really yell about anything, Dom, Cristal, sliders, light bulbs, they will yell. Well, one thing I really love about this show is the editors are super mean on it yeah and it's like they hate these people and you can totally tell like with the sliders and there was also a part where the one that you like with the giant eyebrows what's that girl's name asa asa yeah they're sitting in that big giant tacky bus on their way to vegas yeah and the shot right over her head is trash it's like a trash

spectacle so every time they show her it's like her with a sign that says trash right by her head i was like these editors are fucking assholes and i love it by the way i really like the way you described described her as that one with the big eyebrows as if that was supposed to narrow it down somehow did not really help me at all. Yeah, but she is the one in that cast with Eyebrow Rebellion. She's like, I'm not plucking. Why would I? This is my natural look, and this is what I'm going to do.

She's boho chic. She doesn't need to. Yeah, she doesn't need to. She just wears whatever she wants. You know what? Picking out an ensemble that's just so below her. She just gets her clothing and slaps it on.

Who thinks about what they're going to pack? That's stupid. I hate it. No, I am loving this show. And you know what? I have to say, this is a little bold, but I feel like this is Bravo's most successful man-woman mixed

30-something show that they've done. You know, they've tried this several times. Miami Social Club, Most Eligible Dallas, and now we have this one. And I feel like this one is working. Most Eligible Dallas, I liked the way it started, and I thought it kind of petered off. This one, I feel like, is really strong. I kind of am invested in everything that's going on well you are in the minority i mean i thought that the ratings were going to be huge you know

it's a ryan seacrest production he's behind the kardashians it seemed like a decent fit for bravo but but really if you compare it to other shows on bravo the ratings were kind of dismal for week one i mean it had over a million which is great for cable, but for Bravo standards, it did not live up to them. Well, you know, that honestly gets back to what we were talking about last week, which is that I don't think there's a huge fascination with the Persian community outside of L.A. and Long Island. I really don't think so, and that's probably working against the show a little bit. But there should be because they're hilarious to watch.

I think they're like watching the wild and crazy guys from Saturday Night Live. Like they think they're really cool, but they just make me uncomfortable. But that's what makes them great. That's what makes them so entertaining. It's like the Guido effect. All these people think they're cool. They need some Steve Martin action up in there. Okay, but does it make you uncomfortable because you are from that land?

Because you are our resident Middle East. For Christ's sake. I said the land. I didn't say the same country. Listen, Ronnie, I don't see borders. We're both from the earth. I don't see borders. I just see regions, and you're from the region, okay?

Persian, Lebanese, it's all the same. You only see terrorist stereotypes. Before the show started, you were like, yeah, they're my people. And once the show started and you hate it, now you're like, I don't fucking know them. No, because my father is Lebanese and my mother is Irish.

And lately I'm just all Irish. Well, it was St. Patrick's Day weekend. And boy, did we celebrate. Oh, did we ever. I'm not Lebanese anymore. I'm only Irish. And now I'm embracing my inner alcoholic. You know what, though?

But if you were to ask some of these people on this cast, they might also say that they are embracing their inner alcoholic because MJ honestly was a wasted mess. And you know what I loved? That Reza says that tomorrow morning she's going to wake up with a screaming hangover. I'm like, it won't be the hangover that's screaming. It's going to be you because you scream the entire episode. Did anyone else notice that? It was his birthday. He's allowed to

scream. You scream when you're in Vegas. It's my birthday. We're going to Vegas because it's my birthday. Hopefully people will be groomed there. It's my birthday. He was literally screaming over every single thing they're like here come my menus that means like hey you run vegas this guy runs la together that's a lot of running by the way did anyone notice that they actually put in a persian

rug on the private plane i thought that was kind of a funny. I thought the best part was in that restaurant when the waiter approached and they all applauded him. They were like, yeah, we're going to tip you 4%, buddy. Welcome to the table. My favorite part is when Ronnie says that he's 100% Irish, yet he has the perfect impersonations. Well, you don't really have to be Persian to imitate them. You just, yeah, just be loud and say, hey, something.

Hey, I'm an Ayatollah gay. We are very different here. I look fine. I'm so hot. How much gold jewelry does that motherfucker have? Seriously, when he packs, the jewelry is out of control. I guarantee he gets his wealth from owning one of those cash for gold places where he collects everyone's gold but doesn't send them any cash. That's clearly what's going on there.

Well, can we talk for a second? Oh, go ahead. No, you go. You go. Oh, no, you go. Look, I'm trying to get better about interrupting. We're talking about your people, so we want you to be able to give us insight. So please speak.

Yeah, you were the category expert by all means uh i was just gonna say uh it's odd that he talks about his estranged relationship with his dad but his dad calls and he's like i love you so much happy birthday i'm like what the hell kind of that's a reality restrained relationship that you can cry in your diary room about it but meanwhile your dad's like i love you so much yeah the whole strange thing was not that you know the dad like dumped reza on the side of the road i think it was reza was like peace out i'm going to beverly hills yeah i think that's probably what it was now can we talk about gg i'm sorry i just totally switched the subject right after you switch it to this whole strange

father thing but we have to talk about gg i'm sorry so she is really awful and a bitch right we all agree on that oh yeah now let's talk about there was bathing suit gate uh she started to be a bitch from 20 seconds in when she got on the bus and asa got on the bus and she was giving her shade i mean like back it up yeah i i agree the persian shade you don't want to mess with and it's not cool no she wasn't she was a monster for 60 minutes not just during a bathing suit and you know she Yeah, I agree. The Persian shade, you don't want to mess with, and it's not cool. No, she was a monster for 60 minutes, not just during bathing suit. And you know what? She will continue to be a monster. For me, the bathing suit part was the height of her monsterness, but she was a monster the entire time.

I mean, we can – the way she was trying to make Mike jealous, the way she was acting like a bitter little bitch at breakfast and all that fun stuff. And I love that she shows up to breakfast and everybody gives her shade and she's like, I showed up and nobody even paid me any attention. I'm not going to stay there. People are going to be dicks. And she did the same thing. Yeah. And at dinner, she marches out of Michael Mina's American Fish because she's like,

no one's even looking at me now. By the way, are we assuming that that restaurant is now closed since every place they go to closes afterwards? I actually was there in the beginning of December. And let me just tell you, the squid ink risotto is to die for. Really? Yeah. I didn't see them ordering that. They just seemed to get a lot.

Oh, the sliders was at a different restaurant. They probably had a special request for sliders at a fish restaurant. They probably wanted squid ink sliders you know what sammy wants sammy gets um but either way gg so um i mean she really was was a heinous bitch and the thing is this i'm surprised i hang out with this girl anita because you know what anita looks great if you ask me even though she's ridiculous for refusing to let her 800 bathing suit get wet i mean anita anita cannot be in that group because mj and gg and asa will all be like wait we can't have a hot girl like no asa asa it's an ally for asa because the enemy of my enemy is my friend that is true

but at the same time it's just like gg and mj are not gonna have it because like not that mj was ever in the running to be hottest in the cast, but Gigi actually sucks compared to Anita. Yeah, I agree. I think Anita looks great, and she seems like she's actually a generally nicer person. And

Gigi, what was she saying at the pool? She was being real obnoxious, making fun of her, making fun of the bathing suit. And of course, there was the dinner the night before when she and MJ were making fun of her, making fun of the bathing suit. And, of course, there was the dinner the night before when she and MJ were making fun of her outfit, saying it was five and a half seasons ago, et cetera, et cetera. But then Gigi later on, when confronted about it, says she doesn't look at labels when she shops because she buys thousands of worth of stuff every week. So she doesn't have time to look at labels. Is this girl totally demented? And then you see her clothes like when they were packing for that trip they were throwing all their clothes on the bed that looked like if you stop at the grocery store and just happen to get there

right when the salvation army's emptying out one of those giant red boxes it's like the giant red salvation army box of little armania no thanks it's all clothes from the nanny it's like leopard print you know leopard print sundresses and shit give me a break woman there are a lot of dangly things and tassels too by the way well if we're gonna start discussing anybody's fashion we have to talk about the sparkly sausage casing that mj pressed her body into for that dinner party you know call me crazy but i kind of like that on her. You are crazy. I thought it was sort of fun. I don't know.

It hugged her in all the wrong places. Well, do many things hug her in the right places? I don't know. That was like wrapping up a turkey in tinfoil. That was disgusting.

And then watching Reza behind her shoving his fist up her butt. You know what? That's just enough with that. And then watching Sammy take her from behind in the club. And then she vomits off onto the couch.

And then Sammy then tries to clean up the vomit by wiping a pillow on it. Did you see that? They're classy. Ronnie, is that what you do at a party when somebody vomits? I always have my sleeper pillow. I take their wallet. And the keys to their Mercedes. Totally.

Actually, you know what, though? MJ had one of my favorite lines of the night, which I was actually a funny line not like because she was awful but she said she said the pre-gaming for vegas begins the very second it occurs to me that vegas is actually happening and i was like you know what that's kind of a great line because i think anyone here in los angeles can totally empathize with that that's totally what happens here although since i'm always the one driving vegas that doesn't really apply to me but i I still like the line. I'm like, damn it, someone drive me. What about when they were at lunch in the beginning of that episode talking about Vegas, and they were talking about, is that guy's name Mike, the meathead?

Yeah. They were talking about that guy, and oh my god, I was just thinking about barfing in Ben's car for some reason. Oh, MJ made the comment about how it's going to be really hard for him to find a Jewish Persian that's not inbred. Oh, snap. What's that? What's that? Well, you know what was funny about that?

I was thinking about that earlier today, that comment that we were expressing some PC guilt about the fact that it's sort of in Los Angeles, it's oddly socially acceptable to be kind of racist to Persians. And we're saying, oh, that's kind of fucked up. But then they say stuff like that, and you're like, no, they're kind of – they love making these generalizations. This is like the second episode in a row where there's been some sort of wild and rampant Jewish generalization that's sort of not cool. I'm like, you know, I'm trying to be open-minded to your culture right now but you're not helping well it's good to know they're like everybody else like that avenue key song everyone's a little bit racist yeah sometimes you know i actually didn't you

know as again as the jewish representative of this podcast i wasn't really that offended by what they said i thought it was a funny thing. And, you know, people need to, people need to relax a little bit. So basically that gives us... Inbreeding though? Inbreeding is kind of harsh. Yeah, I guess it is kind of harsh. I don't know. I mean, listen, I just need to see more Ashkenazi Jews and then I'll tell you whether or not she's right. I mean, that is the thing. There are so many kinds of Jews. So many kinds. No, but she's talking about the Ashkenazis, which is the Persian Jews. Right, which is a different story than you. Yeah. I am not Ashkenazi. I am Sephardic.

Most Jews that you know are Sephardic. Who are the people that live off Pico with the tendrils? Those are Hasidic Jews, but that has nothing... Sephardic and Ashkenazi, that's just sort of based on where geographically you're from. Regions, right. Sephardic tends to be like European

and Ashkenazi is like Persian so and you're all Jews just accept it guys this is a really educational podcast this week I'm dumb so I need all the help I can get we've just lost a thousand subscribers it's Jew time

Gigi reminds me of that. Have you guys ever seen that movie Over the Rainbow? Is it Under the Rainbow or Over the Rainbow? It's about all the little wizards. Oh, you're thinking about the Wizard of Oz and the munchkins. Yes, she does have munchkins. Yeah, it's about all those munchkins where you think they're going to be all really cute. You're like, oh, my God, it's a little munchkin.

And then they're all drunk and, like, horny and screwing in that hotel. That's what I think of every time I see Gigi. I'm like, she looked like such a cute little munchkin and then she just turns every time she turns. She's like in... Oh, never mind. Just go on. The unfortunate thing though is Gigi doesn't

drink and she's already... She's a monster without drinking and imagine how great she would be for TV if she were effed up in Vegas. Wait, does she not drink at all? No, she said when they were at the pool she was not drinking at all when they were in Vegas, and I can't remember in episode one if she had anything to drink. But she was babbling on about how she can't tell the difference between Dom and Cristal.

Okay, well, she wasn't drinking in Vegas, and the point is that fight at the pool would have been so much better, and she actually would have kicked Anita in the face had she had a few cocktails. Well, she also, you know, maybe she would have actually enjoyed herself if she was drinking. You know, sometimes that happens. There's sometimes when people are the sober ones, and everyone else is drunk having a fun time, and they get really angry, and they just want to rain on everyone's parade because they're just

sort of jealous of all the fun times, and if there's anything that we know about Gigi, she's a jealous fucking bitch. Was that her barking in the background yes she's like hey stop it she's like i want to be on the podcast beulah does not like you talking shit about his little munchkin and the amazing thing though is like she and i don't know if this is amazing so maybe i shouldn't have said that but she is clearly prone to violence yeah and. And that makes for awesome TV. Thank you, Teresa Giudice. What was that

random, like, instant replay they showed at one point? Like, she like, flared her leg out, and it like, did not hit anyone, but they still did an instant replay of it. I'm like... Well, it almost hit Anita in the chin. She almost, like, high-kicked her to the chin, Jean-Claude Van Damme style. So, does that, like, require an instant replay? Like, she was almost hit? That means she was not hit. It was kind

of awesome, because she probably restrained herself just to come within an inch of her nose. Well... She swung a leg? Who does that? It's my birthday! Are we going as them for Halloween? Because I'm already planning my costume. Actually, my Halloween costume this year,

I just came up with the idea yesterday, I want to do a group costume where we all dress up as Suzy Orman. Sidebar. Could you imagine a pack of Suzy Ormans? It'd be hilarious. I want to be MJ. I'm just going to wrap some foil really tightly around me

and pudge my way out into the world. Just vomit everywhere. I did like, I have to say, when she was wasted, I did like how they about to say when she was wasted i mean i did like how they like just doused her with water and like dropped her into a bathtub like face first i mean that was kind of funny yeah these guys are knocking on 40 but i loved that reza was just willing to dump her ass into a into a bathtub and let her drown and then laugh and giggle and run

away and i kind of liked actually it was very nice of reza to go up there because you know it was his party and he went up there and he didn't look like he was upset at all he looked like he was enjoying it like you know that's nice they have like a real friendship it's you know you know two thumbs up for friendship persian friendship i was actually happy to see um asa and reza like kind of mend fences from from episode one to episode two because i actually really like asa and i want you know i think in order for her to succeed on the show, she needs to have Reza in her corner. And I think the two of them need to battle Gigi.

Now, it was kind of interesting to see, like, this stage set up where they all went to get mani-pedis together. Yeah, and their fake resolution. Which, completely fake. And, you know, by next week, they'll be at each other's throats, which is great. But, you know, in a weird way, I love me some Asa. Yes, but you know what, though? That resolution

is like all the other Middle Eastern peace pacts that have ever happened. A failure. Because they're going to be fighting again. Walking down the road See people I see. Are you singing her epic Persian summer jam?

Yeah, that's her song. Walking down the road. By the way, you know what, Asa? She really loves to push that tea on people. She's like, anyone want some black tea? Some mint tea? Some lemon tea? Come on, you have to have some tea. It looks so delicious that I made myself

a cup of peppermint tea last night. Really? Look at you. She sold me on it. Did you wrap yourself in a patterned cloth and have jangly things hanging off of you? No, instead I squished into a pink cocktail frock like she wore to dinner that night. Well, anyway, so the episode ended with Gigi went down to dinner. So Gigi was pouting because basically she went at Anita for this bathing suit thing, talking smack to her in front of her face for the second time this episode.

And basically, no one was on Gigi's side, and Anita called her out on it. And then Gigi actually claimed that she did not talk shit behind anyone's back when she was clearly doing it. So this dinner happened, and everyone was so upset with Gigi. And she comes in late, and everyone ignores her. And then she starts to cry in the corner and then she leaves. And MJ was like, oh, we're all alienating her. Did Gigi deserve that? Yeah, well, here's the other thing.

Gigi's puss was also sour because when she brought that dude from Vegas to like make Mike jealous, he ended up being BFF with Mike from when, you know, Mike used to live in Vegas. So, you know, she was trying to pull the wool over him on that one. And it was just kind of like, you know what? You might be getting some, you know, tonight. But Mike is better off without you. And you are not the hottest girl here. This was like Regina George when she had her downfall. This was, it's the Regina, Regina, get it?

Regina, Regina – Regina. Get it? Regina. Regina. Regina. How stupid is this girl when she's like, hey, yeah, I'm going to meet this guy in Vegas. And, you know, I mean I don't know if anything is going to happen, but sometimes you need to get your oil changed when your tank is running low. That's for when your oil is dirty, and there's nothing you can do when that oil is dirty. You're not oil. Once your oil is dirty, you're fucked for life, you skanky little midget. She's so gross, and she deserves way more than that. And don't be talking about a tank if Vicki Gundleson is not part of the equation. Don't be stealing Vicki's fucking lines.

Let's get those tanks together, and then we'll have a hot time. You know what I'm saying? Either way, you know what? The stupid bitch, though, she comes down to this table. She comes in late, which is already going to set her up for failure, and then she's have a hot time. You know what I'm saying? Either way, you know what? The stupid bitch, though, she comes down to this table. She comes in late, which is already going to set her up for failure. And then she's just there quietly. And, of course, people are cold. But you know what, though?

You were acting like a total bitch the entire day. And you know what you do? You say, hey, everyone, I'm sorry I was acting up. I was being a total bitch. I'm sorry. And then you know what? Try to engage some people. Don't just sit there at the end.

You're going to sit at the end if you show up late. That's what happens. So stop crying. She shows up late everywhere. She does. She's never on time. I hate girls like that. They show up late.

They make everybody wait. And then when they get there, they just start sucking your energy dry. Is this kind of like when I was trying to pick you up before we were going to Ben's for that party and you made me wait in the car? No, because if I – okay, this would have been more like that. If I had gotten into your car and been like, oh if I – okay, this would have been more like that. If I had gotten into your car and been like, oh, my God, Matt, here's all my drama. I didn't. I got in your car, and I was like, hi, Matt.

How are you? And then you told me, and then I told you, and we exchanged ideas. Clearly, Matt has been festering on us for two days, waiting, waiting to mention the fact that he waited for you. Look, GC hasn't just gained 30 pounds out of thin air, all right? I had to find things that fit me. That was not very easy. Yeah, Ronnie doesn't have a stylist the way Gigi does. I'm just mad at Ronnie because he doesn't love this piece of trash show. Well, it cuts too close to home, I think.

It's just one of those shows where I'm sitting there watching it, and, you know, of course I'm watching it because we're doing this and I really like doing this, don't get me wrong. But I'm sitting there watching it and I'm like, yeah, you're a 30-something-year-old man and you're in your underwear in the middle of the day and this is what you're doing with your life.

And then I start getting really sad and I don't even drink, but I start drunk. Are you talking about a cast member or yourself? Or yourself. Myself? No, I'm thinking while I'm watching the show you talking about a cast member or yourself? Or yourself. I was confused. Myself. No, I'm thinking while I'm watching the show. I'm a 30-something-year-old man, and this is what I'm doing with my life. I thought you were talking about Reza or something because they're doing nothing with me.

Well, at least he's getting paid a lot of money to do it. I don't look down on him. I look up to him. I wouldn't be surprised if these motherfuckers were like, yeah, we'll do the show for free. You know, at the end of the day, I do have to admit this begrudgingly. It looked like they had an awesome weekend, and I would not have minded being – as much as we make fun of them, as loud and as tacky as they are, there was a part of me that was like, I want to be there too with them. That penthouse was out of control. It was a huge penthouse.

They were going – they were skipping all these lines. They were drinking like crazy, getting all this food. I was like... Yeah, but let's be real, Ben. The Aria is kind of like a few steps off the strip.

Oh, but the Aria is gorgeous. It's fine. I mean, whatever. It's close enough to the strip that it doesn't matter. It's a fun time.

The Aria is gorgeous. You don't need to go to the strip. They've got everything right in there, baby. You know what? Those guys should all pool together their money, and the next casino that goes up should be Persian-themed. Persian rugs everywhere, gold dangling from wherever they can have it.

Yeah, it's called the Aladdin, and they closed it and turned it into Planet Hollywood. Yeah, that's true. How dare you bring up that name on a Bravo podcast without talking about Adrian Maloose Hotel? You are a terrible friend. This works in so many ways because she's Lebanese, right? Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Harold, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat or be eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small town values break

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And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History

for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. I think so. So she's your people, aka she's a shot of sunset.

She's one of my people wearing a mask from the Planet of the Apes. So speaking of Housewives, why don't we transition over to the Housewives? Let's do it, everybody. Let's do it. Let's do it. So let's go from Persia or Las Vegas and go all the way over to Atlanta where breaking news, breaking news. We have some – there's some crazy stuff happened, and it involved Keisha Cole, Derek Jay, and a shotgun or just a gun yeah so what happened tell tell okay keisha cole's sister went and got her hair did okay and she didn't like the way her

stylist her crosstown stylist as they say in the news um did her hair so she went to derrick jay to have it fixed and he's like girl this hair is so messed up. I don't know what we're going to do to fix it. He's like, you've got to call up your stylist and tell them what products to use so we can fix this. Some sort of argument ensued. And the stylist came over to Derek Jay's salon. And they all got into a yelling match. And then the guy took out a gun and then shot the floor.

And then the question is, who is the shooter? I heard a rumor that Lawrence actually was the shooter. No way. It was Lisa Wu Hartwell. Yeah, I think so. But then there was a rumor that it was someone else. I don't think it was Lawrence. But either way.

It was Keith Sweat or Lisa Wu. I mean, obviously. or both of them together right i mean it would never be deshaun snow um i kind of would like it to be deshaun snow poor deshaun probably isn't even let into the hair salons there anymore it's like bitch you couldn't even have one season so didn't you just say that the shooter was the rival hairdresser guy? I'm confused. Yeah, it was a stylist. It was a different stylist. So the question is, who was it?

And Derek Jay was on the news. I watched this video clip, and he said the thing that he was mad about the most is that now his floor is messed up. So clearly his priorities are really in place. Well, easier to fix than a ceiling. That was a considerate shooter. I would be like, I'm most upset that someone brought a gun into my salon and now people might be afraid to come here.

That's what my concern would be. But, you know, floor is also important too. I think anywhere Derek Jay goes, you should be afraid. I agree. You know, we don't know for sure if that hole came from a bullet or just from his heels. You know what I'm saying? He's just stomping through there all angrily.

He's like Rumpelstiltskin, stomping and stomping and stomping until he goes through the floor. Oh, Derek J. I would be most concerned if I was on this show that the most attention this show has gotten all year has been from a shooting at some minor character salon. That's pretty sad. I mean, what the hell's been going on this year? This week, what happened this week? There was a lot. I mean, nothing exciting happened.

This felt like a hodgepodge. Everybody did have a little story arc this past week. So let's start with Phaedra hosting a birthday party for her one-year-old Aiden. According to Sharae, 50 hours out of Atlanta in the heat, and it was a miserable night. Now, let me tell you something. When this scene started, at first I was like, thank God someone decided to have an appropriate children's party.

Go to a water park, even though it's two hours out of the way. You know what? That's what you do. It's a one-year-old. I mean, of course, you don't, well, maybe a one-year-old you shouldn't have with bodies of water, but still, it's like a fun, silly thing. But then here comes Dwight back from the dead, as Sharae put it, and he orders in – he ushers in 12 professional cakes that must have cost at least $500 each. Was that the most ridiculous thing for a presentation to a one-year-old? Well, the best line of the whole night was Sharae's, who gonna eat all that cake?

I also like when she was like, when she cut to her and she was like, and he had a full face of makeup. Yeah, I love that. Where he been? Sharae has nothing going on. Like her daughter's getting married and she's kind of still like struggling with her divorce

and pretty much she has nothing happening in her life. But I am loving her more than ever for her stupid ass one-liners this year. Well, her one-liners have always been great. Whenever she looks at the camera and is incredulous, she always – if a question comes out of her mouth that starts with who, what, when, where, how, it's always going to be funny. How did I do that? Where did I get that glass? By a criminal who's representing himself.

I love Charay. Yeah. You know, I felt bad for her again. I mean, not only is she losing her daughter, and how icy was that reception, by the way, to the fiance, the future fiance. I went there at lunch. I thought it was nice.

Yeah, it was nice in her icy way. Yeah. You know. Well, she warmed up. She cried. She's got a lot of crap going on, but also all her shit stirring is backfiring in her face because Kim and Candy were just like, oh, let's be best friends again. So glad this all happened. But, you know, I thought you can't deny the fact that Sharae's weave is looking better than ever.

Her hair looks great. Sharae looks better. I mean, hair, outfit, the whole thing, like, better than ever her hair looks great her charade looks better i mean hair outfit the whole thing like better than ever but like instead of worrying about her son-in-law like having the money to afford an engagement ring for her daughter do you think that she could tell him to go fix his crusty brown out tooth i know what was up with that he has a decaying tooth can you get that fixed before you buy a forty thousand dollar wedding ring i thought for the longest time that he had maybe bitten into like a bran muffin and no one was telling him to fix that.

No, he has dead teeth. That's no good. Yeah, she should fix that as like her gift to him. She should be like, let me take you to the dentist. So he'll end up looking like a big hole in the ground if she hires her staff oh yeah i'm sorry i fixed your teeth now you just got a big hole in your face what happened to your face it's gonna be lawrence lawrence will be like okay we are gonna fix this what you want to do that face let's put some silly putty on that tooth there it's gonna look good okay let's let's talk about

lawrence though for a second because there was that, like, two-second clip where Marlo and the F-bomb visited Lawrence, and it kind of really bugged me that he let her off the hook. Well, no, he very nicely was like, stop saying that. And she's like, well, I can't say it about people I don't like, you know? Sorry, that was my Kim voice. Yeah, but then when they were talking That was your Red Skelton voice. I have to work on my Marlo.

I don't know if my voice gets deep and manly enough to sound like Marlo. Don't even try. She's like, I can't say that. She does sort of sound like, I can't say that about gays, I don't know. That's the Red Skelton sitting in the junkyard voice. Boys!

Come home late! Well, it's not that far away from Marlo. It's just a shade away. That guy was a face all the way. They were cutting to commercial and they were still laughing about it and it was pissing me off. Nobody else was apparently pissed off.

Well, I think that I thought it was good that she went and followed up with Lawrence. I think it was handled appropriately. I think that's actually the way that things like that should be handled. You are fucking crazy. Are you telling me that you think that she has the kindness of her heart, went there and said that? Bitch, no.

She got caught on camera. That's why she was doing it. Well, but it doesn't matter. She still had to go and do it on camera, and that was her punishment. And you know what? Well, but it doesn't matter. She still had to go and do it on camera, and that was her punishment. And you know what?

The way these things should be handled in life, it should be a, you know, like it's a warm, you're teaching your friends, you know? You educate them in that way. It shouldn't be a whole yelling thing because then people will be resentful and be like, well, I should have said that word anyway, you know? That girl's a piece of trash. What the hell are you expecting? Marlo, come on now. You're lucky she hasn't shivved anybody yet. Well, I wasn't saying she wasn't a piece of trash. I'm just saying I like the way that Laura's handled it.

Yeah, she's a piece of trash. So, I mean, she talks like that. I kind of expect that from somebody like Marlo. I don't worry about it too much. Okay, we need to switch to a lighter topic because I'm getting, like, riled up now. Oh, you want me to really piss you off? I went to Chick-fil-A this week, and I had me some waffle, some gay-hating waffle. Well, you know, there's that video that came out today of all these drag queens singing about Chick-fil-A. It, and I had me some gay-hating waffles. There's that video that came out today of all these

drag queens singing about Chick-fil-A. It's hilarious. Have you seen it? If you guys haven't watched it, look it up. I think it's one of the guys, William from Drag Race. It's Willum. Whatever. They do Wilson Phillips

singing a song about Chick-fil-A. It's awesome. Yeah, it was funny. I actually don't normally find drag queens to be that funny. I actually thought this was a funny clip. The only drag queen I find funny are the drag queens on Real Housewives of Atlanta, quite frankly. The Marlows of the world.

The Marlows, the Sherees. By the way, what I like about Sheree is that her face sort of looks like it could be one of those British claymation things, you know? I really like that. I mean that in the best way. I think she's got gymnast face. You know those girls who were in gym and they were all manly looking?

I like how every— She's got that manly face. I like how every week— She is a brown My Little Pony, please. I like how every week we have a new classification of faces. Last week I think was Persian midget face or something like that. This week is whatever it was that you just said. Gymnast face.

I can't wait to see what next week is. She's got a face like a box of Wheaties, that one. She's like a Mary Lou Retton with a weave. Do you guys have any more Housewives of Atlanta? Because I was bored with it. Yeah, I thought it was pleasant. Like, whatever. Like, Nini is like, maybe you get divorced, maybe not.

I liked Candy and Jodie Messina. I thought that was really fun to watch. I'm sorry. Like, everyone is up Candy's ass. Oh, here comes Haterade. Here comes Gigi. Here comes Gigi. What do you have to say?

She strolls into Nashville, and she's like, wait, you guys have a band? I just drop a beat after every sentence and then I stop. And then I take a break and I smoke a blunt and then I might come back, but I don't know. And then she shows up and she's all like, oh, yeah, well, you know, it was my dream to work in country music. It's like you wrote half of a shitty song and Jodi wrote the other half and then Jodi's band is doing all the work and not your entourage that showed up. I'm like I just don't get it. Like I don't think she's that talented. Well, but that's the difference in music making.

I mean hip-hop is all electronic. They don't need to use any instruments. But it's so funny that she's a professional recording artist and she's like, what? A band? A band plays the song? That is crazy. She's like, what? A band? Yeah. A band plays the song? That is crazy. She's like, musicians? What?

We're going to play in a live venue in front of people? What is that? Well, listen, Matt. How sad is that? That's where music has come to, ladies and gentlemen. Matt, but I have to rebuke Matt's ridiculous statement that Candy has no talent. I'm not even going to talk about no scrubs, okay? What I'm going to talk about...

What I'm going to talk about... Listen, listen. I was talking first. I holler louder. Like Gigi, I will always holler louder. I am pointing to Exhibit A, which is tardy for the party, okay?

She turned a turd into a gem. Or she polished a turd. She made a great song out of an idiotic, idiotic song. And there's, that's like case closed. Case closed. Okay, now I get to talk for a second. First of all, she did not write the lyrics to Tardy for the Party. She came up with a beat.

Guess what? My Casio fucking keyboard can come up with a beat and number two and i'm not done and number two no scrubs was written by 19 fucking people not just i said we're not even going to talk about no scrubs the point i just did i said okay listen anita okay this is anita versus gg right here we are going to talk about the fact that Tardy for the Party, regardless of the lyrics, it has a catchy-ass tune. The reason why it caught on so much was because she literally made this great little pop song. Okay, excuse me. Do you think she made it or it's always these dudes that are sitting in the studio with her?

It's not her. Where is it going to end for you, Matt? Who's next? If I'm going to say she, you're going to say the janitor came in and did it and not Candy. Whatever. Listen. Well, I thought that song was really nice that she made in this episode. Actually, you know what I hate?

I hate when super rich singers sing about what it would be like to have money growing on trees. Yeah, but you know what? That's one thing that country music and rap has in common. Well, country music, usually they're complaining about being poor, right? Yeah, well, that's the thing. I remember growing up in Texas. If I had money growing on trees, I'd have three cars and a garage. I'm like, as they cut away to Jodie Messina's ranch with Bentleys.

Well, she doesn't have Bentleys, but the point is this. It's like there's something that feels a little insincere about it i know it's supposed to be an empathetic song but jody she seems kind of like a bitch no like a little passive-aggressive i i love her i love her i love country music i love jody messina and she is not that rich because she's only sold five million albums what what so that makes you not that rich? Compared to Faith Hill and Shania Twain, no. Not everyone can be Shania Twain and Faith Hill

and Celine Dion. I'll tell you one thing. Jodi Messina certainly has more money than I do. And I feel like I feel like Everybody listening to this show. Yeah, actually, i think the homeless guy downstairs has a little bit more money because i saw someone give him 25 cents so the homeless

man probably has more money than mj that's why we all live in this neighborhood totally yeah we're all equally as poor probably um the point is this i like candy and i like watching her work with these musicians and i think that it was fun. And I'm not a hater, okay? I'm not a hater. Yeah, I like her too. Okay, fine. But before we move on to OC, we just have to put out some hate.

You guys have to back me on the hate for Cynthia. What a dumb mom. Oh, yeah. We almost blocked her out. We almost blocked her out. She's a bitch. Oh, yeah. She's a bitch.

I don't hate. Like, she doesn't bug me enough to hate her. I just kind of cross my eyes a little bit when she comes on the screen to start fast forwarding because what's that whole thing with her and peter like i just don't understand what's wrong with mallory what's wrong with her all i do is i'm just nice to her that's all i care really because you called her out on the microphone twice publicly at a party you don't do you not that? You bleary-eyed alcoholic. That's the problem. And Cynthia obviously forgot that that happened too.

He was being a total dick in front of everybody. Yeah, but Cynthia's... Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead. She's like this classic, one of these wives that will defend her husband's awful ways. I mean, Mal was not innocent in any of this, but still, she didn't deserve that. I'm team Mal.

Yeah, I'm team Mal too. Don't get me wrong. Cynthia did it all to herself. She's one of those girls that complains and complains about her boyfriend. He's mentally abusive. He doesn't take care of me right. I'm going to blah, blah, blah. All this shit before she married him. But now that she's married to him...

Just shut up and go to Paris, okay? Yeah, go to Paris. I think the reason why I think I hate Cynthia is because she's boring, but she also represents terrible things that women fall into in terms of their relationships with guys sometimes and terrible judgment. Oh, and by the way, did you notice how the Bailey agency was bustling? It was bustling. Bustling. Mallory had to push past crowds of of people lining up to get in. It was Ford models up in there.

Oh yeah, I mean it was just like I felt like I was really at the forefront of the fashion industry at that moment. She was fucking filing her nails behind a desk. It was so quiet in there you could hear the echoes of her filing her nails. It was just a terrible, terrible scene.

I'm disappointed. I'm disappointed. I'm disappointed. But you know what wasn't quiet was the El Adobe restaurant of San Juan Caprano in Orange County last week. Oh, lordy, lord. Vicky Gunvalson was a screaming mess against Gretchen Rossi. Who wants to summarize this? Well, Vicky Dunn got busted. She has been calling Slade out and being as nasty as

possible with her little friend Tamara now for a couple of years about what a slimebag Slade is, and she's not wrong. He is one, obviously. Yes, a huge slimebag. But then when she's called out on it, instead of just saying, you know what? You're right.

I fell in love with this guy. I guess he has the same problems as you. Fine. I'm sorry. You know, just do it that way. You don't have to sound sincere. But when she gets called out, she doesn't only say that's none of his business. She starts going ape shit, and she's so in the wrong.

She's so in the wrong. Wait. Can I say something controversial? Please. I think that Vicky articulated herself incorrectly and I actually think I understand where she's coming with. If you give me a moment,

I will explain. Oh, no. I am not going to give you a moment. Please. Can I guess what you're going to say? I want to guess. I want to guess. Yes, please. That what Vicky was saying was that she's not supporting her husband. She was saying that Gretchen was supporting Slade, and she's not supporting her husband, so it's totally different. Sort of. No, this is what I'm—

I thought you were going to say some bullshit like Vicky was screaming, you don't know what it's like to have children and not get support. And I was like—I was on team gretchen there no i mean i think i think vicky totally contradicted herself in that argument because she set up her initial argument you know slade's a deadbeat slade's deadbeat slade's a deadbeat really i think what she was trying to get at was not that he's technically a deadbeat but as we all know slade is an asshole and he really does just mooch off of gretchen he He just wants to be on camera or whatever. And I think what Vicky probably should have – was maybe trying to say was that, yes, Brooks did fall behind. But he's doing whatever he can to earn money to support his kids. He is going out and working.

And I know that Vicky always likes people at work. But where Slade is just sort of like a mooch. people at work, but where Slade is just sort of like a mooch. You don't get the sense that it's a priority for him to be trying to earn some money to help his poor kid who's in the hospital. You know what I'm saying? I think that's probably what she meant. But because she went in with this whole thing that Slade's a deadbeat, Slade's a deadbeat, then when Brooks is a deadbeat, now she looks like an idiot.

That's all I'm saying. Yeah, she sure does look like an idiot. And I think that she has a point, actually. In a weird way, I think she has a point. She just did not articulate it properly at all because she's a I'm saying. Yeah, she sure does look like that. And I think that she has a point, actually. In a weird way, I think she has a point. She just did not articulate it properly at all because she's a crazy idiot herself. Yes. Well, Slade is a deadbeat, and he is a total mooch.

But she is also dating someone who's been to jail, so she's a hypocrite and needs to shut up. Exactly. All she needed to do was get a piece of dick from somebody else. And you know what Gretchen had going for her? The indisputable thing is that, you know what Gretchen had going for her was the indisputable thing is that, you know what, like if it's none of Gretchen's business to talk about Brooks, it's none of Vicky's business to talk about Slade. I agree with Gretchen on that one for sure. Although, you know, at the same time, someone did mention to me, not one of you guys, someone else I was watching with, is that Vicky is actually a little allowed to talk about Slade because she has a relationship with Slade pre-existing Gretchen. What do you guys think about that? That's bullshit.

You think? Yeah, just because Slade was on the show earlier with Joe, that means that she gets to talk more shit? No. Well, see, the thing that really is bothersome about Vicky is that she even puts us in the position of standing up for Slade at all. Like, the fact that we're even arguing in Slade's defense. I refuse to argue in Slade's defense.

I will never. All I'll say is that Vicky is an embarrassment, and for her to walk around in her only argument to be, well, my daughter might have cancer. Yeah. Like, what kind of argument is that? That's horrible. Like, her daughter could be dying of cancer,

which, spoiler alert, she's totally not. She's fine, of course. Oh, that's good. But, you know, that's Vicky's argument, is like, oh, I have nothing. I've been screaming for an hour now and I have nothing to say except that my daughter has cancer. That's more important. Do you guys think that they're disgusting for putting that on the show?

I mean, yes, I know it's reality TV. We expect disgusting things. But, like, I love Brianna. Like, I like her more than anybody else on that damn show. And part of me was like, this is just maybe too personal. I actually thought it was okay because I think that was actually a very – sort of a very real moment. And if they were down with it, it's fine. I think that actually what was great about having Brianna going through the surgery is that here she is relatively strong.

You can see that she's scared, but she's keeping on a strong front. And then first you have Vicky, who's being the worst mother in the world by being like, I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I think I'm going to puke. A mother should be like, I'm going to be strong for you. You'll be fine. You'll be all right. Don't worry about it. And then it cuts to Rihanna going like, yeah, I know

I'm about to have surgery for cancer. I might be dying, but my mom makes everything about her. What was even better about it yeah and yeah what was even better about it though what was even better i mean this poor girl she's having some serious surgery thyroid coming out lymph nodes it'd be hours and then they the counterpoint is dumbass alexis getting her you know her her nose job getting done and she's sitting there crying bawling you know because she thinks they're going to take off her nose and she'll look like baltimore but as long as jim and the lord pray over them they will

be fine so wait so can we talk about now this whole there was a what was great about this episode was that it started with this vicky and slade thing but then it moved into a alexis versus the world thing which was also equally hilarious to me that do you guys think that like they were making i mean they were saying we weren't making fun of alexis you misheard alexis did alexis sort of have a point well they were the point the point is is that that stupid heather girl didn't know that lex meant alexis she thought it was a different girl right so she was talking shit about somebody named lex but she didn't know that it was Alexis. But the thing about Alexis that's so great is she

just doesn't understand the English. So there's always a communication problem because she doesn't understand English. It's hilarious. I'm just trying to explain to her and all Alexis can do is say, no, no, I heard it. I heard it. Period. I heard it. Because it's like

Spanish. Proper English is like listening to Spanish. She doesn't know what I heard it, period. I heard it. Because it's like Spanish. Like proper English is like listening to Spanish. She doesn't know what the hell's going on. It cracks me up. It was great watching both Heather and Gretchen attempting to employ some sort of logic with Alexis. You know, that's just like, that's never going to happen. That's like a Greek that's like one of these Greek mythology things

of like, you know, Prometheus having to like have his liver kept you know, eaten out by a bird or whatever. It's an exercise in futility. And again, Tamara, I love her stupid little one-liners. She's like, I've said it before and I'll say it again. You can't argue with stupid. Or how about Tamara who's like, yeah, you need a nose job.

Good for you. You need one. You need a nose job. Good for you. You need one. And this was, as one of my readers pointed out, this comes only, you know, like minutes after them being angry at Slade for making fun of someone's looks. Yeah, exactly. And they turn on one of their own.

Yeah. But then I also loved how Alexis was mad at Gretchen for not standing up for her. Last time I checked when Vicky and Gretchen were going at it, I think Alexis was just sort of sitting there doing nothing. If Alexis fucks with her ally being Gretchen, she's just done because nobody else is going to save her ass. Yeah, but luckily Gretchen is smart enough to know that Alexis is too stupid to understand anything, and Gretchen just wants to put her to sleep and go off to fuck Slade,

you know? You don't know. I guess that shocked everyone into silence. I was drinking some Starbucks. Oh. But, you know, I have to say, I kind of was loving Heather. I loved

when she suggested that Alexis perhaps needs a brain lift. I was like, right on. Yeah, and she just gave her the high Heather. I loved when she suggested that Alexis perhaps needs a brain lift. I was like right on. Yeah, and she just gave away the high road with that comment. She was saying, look, we didn't know we were talking about you, and you could almost believe her. And then the second Alexis leaves, she's like, well, can you go in for a brain transplant? And no one laughed. And then she looked at her husband and was like, well, can you? And he was like, I ain't laughing at that listen we use there was there's there's no such thing as a high road

with these women you know she didn't give up anything she just gave up maybe not the high road maybe like the uh the map to the high road but she's never been on the high road she's just on the wrong cast she needs to be on beverly hills or she's like oh god look i think she's on the right cast. I think she's a good counterpoint to these idiots. Get a little brunette in there. See what happens, you know? This cast is frightening, and I love them.

I want to make – I wish I just had more time to just watch it and take every little clip of Alexis and just put it on a rotation and just watch it and watch it and watch it. What if I don't come out of Anastasia? And then Jim praying to Jesus that the nose job goes okay. Like Jesus doesn't have enough to worry about. He's like, oh, busy, bitch. I'm fixing noses in Darfur, okay? By the way, was it me or does Jim's face look a little different? Is it just because he might be losing weight or does his face look a little different?

Jim's definitely lost weight. He is looking better. And he's kind of decided to get rid of the, you know, what is that? Hardy, Ed Hardy gear. And he's replaced it with equally douchey outfits. I mean, he's got, he had some stupid hat on. He was dressed like he was like 23, you know, like. Yeah, he's fillers and botox just like the rest of it

oh go ahead oh i was just gonna say i'm used to seeing the fillers and botox on the women but just being a man i can't forgive it on a man yeah it looks ridiculous like he had some fillers but his cheekbones look a little bit more prominent or something in his chin or something was like not quite right or what about when he's with when alexis is trying on clothes and her daughters are with her and she he's like oh yeah babe that's hot like gross you know like all your three kids but you know what those i have to say alexis came in for her surgery and she was not in any makeup except some lipstick i thought she looked 10 times cuter she looked younger oh my god what are you talking about she and gretchen we both we've seen no no and Gretchen, we've seen both of them this year without makeup, and both of them look fucking frightening without all the paint.

No, Gretchen and I did not look great without her. She did not look good without her makeup, but I thought Alexis looked much cuter. I mean, her skin is not great, but I thought she looked younger to me without all that makeup. They all look better as drag queens. Well, they are drag queens. Gretchen looked a little hamstery. But I think that Alexis, I think, is a very beautiful girl. You guys don't think she's pretty?

No, I do think she is. I think she is hot, for sure. I'm distracted by her monster breasts. I'm sorry. Her breasts are too big, and her fashion sense is a little whorish. But I don't know i just think that like less is more and uh i don't think that that's something that alexis can grasp i mean she can't grasp anything what am i talking about i mean she literally thinks her

nose is going to be removed okay she thought it's gonna she does an amputation okay she probably thought they were gonna like ship in she probably thought there was gonna be a helicopter that's gonna airlift the nose off of a recently deceased person and put it onto her face. Like, the time has come. You're at the top of the list, Alexis. The transplant is ready. She is a news anchor. She is a news anchor.

It would be kind of amazing if there was sort of like a new version of face-off that involves Alexis and the swapping of noses. And like she got the nose of a terrorist. They should all see the guest judges every week. Are you kidding me? That'd be fantastic. Before we move on, before we move on, were you guys surprised to see Don hanging out or the fact that Don was even on this season? I was. Because I was not expecting that. I was surprised.

I was also surprised. Maybe we just didn't see it, but I would have thought that he would have been at the hospital and also maybe Brianna's biological father. I would have thought that sort of surgery, the whole gang should get together for that. Well, they might have been at the hospital and also maybe Brianna's biological father. I would have thought that sort of surgery, the whole gang should get together for that. Well, they might have been. They might have met him there, but Vicky has the cameras in her car. So we can worry about fucking Vicky

saying nothing except, oh, this is going to hurt me so bad. I'm sorry that your cancer has to hurt me so bad. Poor girl. I feel bad for Brianna. That's not a pleasant thing to do, even if she is perfectly fine. She'll probably be on meds the rest of her life, right, without a thyroid? Yeah. I don't know.

I don't know. But aren't thyroids evil? She could be on some meds. Aren't thyroids evil? Doesn't everybody blame their thyroid for being fat? No. Well, yes, but gallbladders I think are also evil. Listen, there are a lot of evil things, and they're all in our bodies.

They all come from the OC. All right. So what else did you guys watch this week? Did you watch the Jeff Lewis? You guys did watch the Jeff Lewis show. I did watch it. Did you guys watch it? I did.

Yeah. It was like flipping out except with less zoila, so I don't approve. This is – my impression of it was that I surprisingly really enjoyed it. I thought the therapy angle was weak. I mean there was no therapy that happened. No, because if there really was therapy, Jeff would have said, Felice, you were the biggest bitch ever to walk the earth. You should be killed. She was awful.

She sort of looked like Heather actually from OC. I think she looks like Bill Lawrence's wife that's on cougar town yeah like a mixture of both i think and with it with an ad with an addition of uh perry what's her face from perry reeves yeah um just a smack of perry reeves um but uh i thought you know i enjoyed watching them redo this house you know it's sort of like a – it was harkened back to the Trading Spaces days, which – because it's Jeff Lewis, it was actually funny and interesting. But I thought the therapy thing was sort of like just added on. Well, I'll bet they made up that therapy thing later in the game to call the show something because they probably start doing it a little more later because this was not therapy. It didn't look like they were even trying i mean what can you do like the woman's a stone cold bitch and her husband is obviously gay that's not one of those like oh by the way i was like

that guy was like a screaming queen yeah um and he's a castrated queen it was just awkward like just very awkward when they went shopping yeah oh no he stood up for his bed he's like can i just have one thing all i ask is one thing in this marriage and it's a bed that i like mommy my feet can't touch the ground mommy i love that it never occurred to either one of them that maybe they should have a bed that was directly in between the heights that they wanted and then it may be okay they needed separate bedrooms because he's a homo. But, you know, here's the thing. There was, like, there really was, you know, it was like, okay,

so she's demanding. He wants a bed. Okay, we change things around. They're both getting agitated at Jeff. And in the end, they like their remodel. And that was it. There was, like, no sense of there's no breakthrough. There was no moment where the two of them sat down and really hashed things out. remodel, and that was it. There was like no sense of – there was no breakthrough. There was no moment where the two of them sat down and really hashed things out.

It was just – that was it. Even Tabitha takes over and has more therapeutic moments. It's true. Enjoy your sterile new bedroom for your sterile marriage. See you. We're out. I think that it's weird that he's designing in the exact same style that he normally designs in for people that already have that style. Yeah.

I mean, Jeff Lewis pretty much, I mean, he's really good at house flipping because he has five tiles that he knows are good and five carpets that he knows are really good. And he just uses them over and over again. He can place a shower drain like nobody else. Well, you know, I think in a weird way, this might sound sacrilege, I kind of enjoyed it a little bit more than Flipping Out because... Bite your tongue, whore! No, I mean, I do agree. There should be

more Zoila. You know, I enjoy Flipping Out, but I sort of like the one-off nature of this. You know, Jeff and Jenny are great characters. Jeff is great TV, and he plays well off of people, and I think putting him in a high-stress, high-intensity situation like this every week, I think that's fun. I like it.

I'm going to fire you, Jenny. I'm going to fire you, Jenny. I'm so sick of you. I'm so sick of this. This is it. I'm firing you. How is Zoila rich and famous now and still working as a maid? Well, because if she's not working as Jeff's maid, then she won't be rich and famous anymore.

Exactly. Oh, good point. Good point. But I just need a little Exactly. Oh, good point. Good point. But I need to... I just need a little more... Shut up, Jeff! I'm sure it will be coming. I wonder why they chose this one as the season premiere.

It looks like one of those that they were just like, yeah, let's just see what Jeff can do. Let's just keep it rolling. I mean, there were a lot of problems that happened with the leaking ceiling and this and that. They had to do the wall stuff, you know. The sad thing is the ratings for this, like Shadows of Sunset, very disappointing. So wait, now here's a question.

Okay, Shadows of Sunset had disappointing ratings. This had disappointing ratings. You know, their big thing over this last summer with Jewel and Platinum Hit, That had terrible ratings. They've had some high-profile things that are not doing well with the ratings. Is this a Bravo marketing issue at this point, do you think? I actually think that they're... Go ahead. No, no. Go ahead.

I just think that they're greenlighting too many shows. I mean, you need to stick with what works. You don't need to have two new shows on four nights a week. Watch What Happens does not need to be on five nights a week. There's not enough content there. It's called spread it out, pick the best of the best and stop green lighting all this bullshit.

And only the only thing that matters is that other decorating show that I'm obsessed with. Bring that back. And million dollar decorators, million dollar decorators. That's good. Well, but no,

but Lawrence Bullard, but it had terrible ratings, but Matt, Matt, matt but you know you say stick with what you know or stick with what works jeff and jenny remodeling a house that works no no i know the problem is people want jeff lewis to be off the rails crazy we want more zoila everybody's obsessed with her the dogs are shooting but that the house he's screaming at jet there's that dumb blonde girl there's that little gay assistant i mean flipping out is the second highest rated show on this network matt your argument i agree with your argument but that shouldn't that suggest that there'd be a strong premiere and then the rating the ratings would fall off because they're

not getting what they want this was a premiere where people were it looked exactly like flipping out and you would think that the premiere, that all these people who love Jeff Lewis, whatever, are going to follow him and they didn't, which means that there's a lack of awareness, or, I mean, I agree they are diluting their brand a little bit, there's like it's like, how many realtor shows

can they have, you know, or how many, you know Well, not only that, but with the quality of the Real Housewives shows basically those are just telenovelas in English. They're cheap, like Telemundo shows, and they're fun because they're soapy shows and they work. But everything can't be shot like that. I mean everything is shot the same way. It's all the same diary room, the same shallow idiot people, like vapid morons.

And I think the world is just getting sick of it. I honestly do. What was the last successful show like this to come out? It was a Housewives spinoff, and before that it was Jersey Shore, and that's gone to shit. Mob Wives is like a really low-rent version of these, though.

Yeah, but I mean, people talk about it. But the thing is, you know, I also wonder if maybe Bravo, I mean, they rightfully should put in a lot of attention under the Housewives because everyone still watches it and everything. But watch what happened live. I feel like it's a Housewives after show, and all they talk about is the Housewives, I feel like. And maybe they should be putting more attention and strumming up interest and buzz on these other shows because to me it's crazy if they talk about stuff like tabitha salon takeover which yes i do love if they waste their time talking about that shit on watch what happens

live nobody's gonna watch watch what happens live because people watch that because andy brings on his friends that are dedicated housewives fans and it's like kelly rippa wants to talk shit about gretchen you know yeah bring in sean avery. He wants to talk smack on Bethany Frankel. It's true. That's what people want to talk about. You know who they should be using? They should be using the fact that they should be happy that our little podcast here, which is not so little anymore, I'm happy to announce. No, they should put

us on right after Watch What Happens. Well, they should be happy because we actually are talking about some of the shows that, you know, not as much as we talk about the Housewives, but Shaz the Sunset we're giving a whole lot of time to. Talking about the shows that bravo's ashamed to talk about oh wow we really have their tagline it's like hey let's watch a super low rated show and talk about it for a half an hour can we all what do you for a second that none of us are going to bother with this love broker shit because after the first two i'm out out. No, I haven't even bothered watching the first two.

If you're listening to us right now, sorry, but we're not talking about Love Broker anymore because it's that fucking bad. Can I just say real quickly also, because we're about to wrap up, but real quickly, Tabitha's Salon takeover last week with lesbian dog groomers, that was...

Oh, man. How could two lesbians not know anything about grooming pets? You know, it's a weird world. Strange things happen. Have you ever seen how lesbians groom? What an odd question for you to come up with. There comes a whole fresh bag of hate mail. Well, come on.

Okay, let's not even say lesbians. Let's just say those lesbians, those two. Yeah, those two. Did you see their grooming? I mean, come on, man. One of them was wearing chola shorts the entire episode, and the other just… Do you guys know that that place is on Beverly right across from Swingers? Yes, because they showed that.

We need to go see if it's still there. I know. I feel like all the places they go to on Tabitha that it takes over are in this general area. I think we should just… We can go to the Froyo place up in Ventura. we can go to ripples we can go to this place and then i think we can go to torrance to the to the um the college the beauty college la does have a lot of privately owned businesses it's a little unique in that there are still so many mom and pop type places around and they're so badly run i, it totally makes sense that she would be here because she can just go door-to-door and be like, all right, what's fucked up with you guys?

Yeah, I mean, she could go a block away. And honestly, there's a hair salon that's a block away that the L.A. arsonist lived above, and I'm sure that would be great Tabitha takes over. You had an arsonist living above you. I want to see her visit him in jail. Tabitha takes over an had an arsonist living above you i want to see her visit him in jail oh my tabitha takes over an arsonist that's fantastic well all you have to do is read yelp in our zip code to see what people think like every review is like they were so mean to me at this place like every every review has at least three of those how rude the staff is to them and looks down on them because they're fat or whatever reason.

I love it. Even the dog part. They should just load up some specialty maids slingshot and just put Tabitha in it and then just aim it somewhere in the city and just fling her into a shop and see what happens. Just have Tabitha help out everybody. Tabitha needs to help out

me. She needs to take over my life. Yell at me a little bit. Come clean up your neighborhood. It sounds like you need some cleaning up over there. Yeah, we got MJ, we got The Miz, and we got an arsonist all in a one-block radius of here. And we're going to call it Beverly Hills even though it's not. Yes. Clean up on Isle Mendelker.

Oh, motto of my life. All right. All right. All right. I think we've been going for about an hour now, more or less. Let's wrap it. Let's wrap it up. So this was really fun yelling at you guys today, mainly Matt. Yeah, you too.

I'm glad that Matt was the one on the wrong side today. Whatever. I won that fucking fight. No, you didn't. Yeah, I did. You know what? I gave you a GG kick to the face, bitch. No. Who does that? A kick to the face, bitch. No.

Who does that? A kick in the face? Who does that? You had to go running away from the table. Oh, you run LA? I run Vegas. Oh, my God. You don't even look at the brands on your dress, Matt.

Oh, who does that? All right. Well, it's time for me to go get a hamburger, y'all. It's time for me to go make some shrimp or maybe join Ronnie for a hamburger. We'll see. It's time for me to rock in the fetal position and watch Bethany Frankel. Oh, God. Good luck with that.

All right. Well, thanks, everyone, for listening. You can catch us at thesideshownetwork.com or at tvgasm.com or bsideblog.com if you want to comment. And if you want to tweet us you can find us on twitter i'm at tvgasm and personally at flip it matt whitfield is life on the m list and b side blog is at b side blog and there's also what crappens our twitter handle oh yeah is somebody updating that because i totally i haven't been but i but I'll make an effort to do that. Okay. Okay.

All right. Have a great week, everybody. Thanks for listening. We'll talk to you next time. Bye. Bye, guys. Hey, Prime members. You can listen to Watch What Crappens ad-free on Amazon Music.

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