Watch What Crappens - Winter House: The Luke of Love

Episode Date: October 21, 2022

Winter House returned last week, and we recapped it over on our Patreon feed. We couldn't keep it from everyone, though, so here it is a week later. For the freshest episodes, like this week's bonus breakdown of the new Real Housewives of New York Reboot cast plus video recaps, join Patreon at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Ben, that's Ronnie. How are you doing Ronnie? Great, Ben. How are you? I am doing swell. Thanks everyone for coming to listen to the bonus episode this week. If you're listening, that means to support us on Patreon. So thank you. It means a lot to us. We had such a huge week of Bravo

that we are doing this first episode of Winterhouse here in the bonus. And it will eventually move back onto the main feed. But wow, it's back, Ronnie, any initial impressions on this first episode? Well, no, not really. No. Nothing that can't wait, I guess. This page and Craig thing is going to make me nuts. I will say this.

Page is automatically more likeable, again, on this show, back in her kind of element. She made me nuts on Southern charm I'm kind of I enjoyed her on this. I like her being dressed better than everybody and basically being above everybody Craig is going to be one to deal with. I don't know how you put up with that and Craig is just an asshole because Craig Looks like an absolute monster out of his element. I mean, he's bad on Southern Trump sometimes, but he's got the charm part down where he can make you believe, and especially standing next to Shep and Austin. How about to say,

you like the Craig's the best wine, but no, on these other shows, Craig is just gross. What a pig. And as Ego is really getting out of control, so there's that, but I do think there's a lot of potential with this new girl Jessica as being sort of a Lindsay 2.0 Not only does she look like Lindsay, but she has

That whole she kind of has that whole Lindsay vibe of like, oh, I like it along better with boys and girls Like that whole thing is happening. I think she's gonna be a disaster Especially because I don't think Lindsay's a full-time cast member on winter house I think that she and Carl pop in for like a day, but I don't think she's there be a disaster, especially because I don't think Lindsay's a full-time cast member on Winterhouse. I think that she and Carl pop in for like a day, but I don't think she's there the whole time. Yeah, it doesn't seem like it, because she's not there. But yeah, she seems to be gone now.

Also, Lindsay and Carl did this Marshall's commercial. Have you seen it? No. Oh no. Oh my God, awkward. I give this is all for the cameras. Do better. You know what I mean? Like do about their commercials like I love sales. Don't you love sales? I love sales. Sales are like like cheaper versions of things. Yeah. Oh my god. Is this all on sale? Oh my god. It I was like, oh my god, you two.

The natural ability just popping off the screen, I can't. Please just go back to where ever you were before the so-state. And stay there. Stay there. Oh, Marshall's a little great, by the way. Oh, great. So anyway, let's dive into it.

So the episode opens up. First, we see a trailer for the season. And if you want to see our thoughts on the trailer, we did do a trailer breakdown a few weeks ago. So you can just scroll through Patreon to find it. But now it's February 25th. They're back in Stovermont. It's 13 degrees out. People are driving. They're approaching the house. Page and crag are driving. And they're having one of these scenes that's like, hey, let's be cute. Okay, let's be cute. Hey, will you show me where the defrost button is? crank. It's like literally the button that looks like a window.

Oh, so that button crank. That says AM FM. What sort of window have you ever seen? Oh my god. I'm so goofy. And she tells us literally this is the literal longest we've literally been to literal gather. So and he's like, how many days is this going to be 17? She's like, I'm the longest literally. It's like the longest days. Okay. And he says, yeah, like, you know, I feel kind of bad for like Sierra, because I can tell she's like condom nervous because Austin's coming. I don't think she gives a flying fuck.

Okay, just like you and the defrost button. So let's call this source right now. You're calling the defrost button. No, I'm calling Sierra. No, I'm calling C.C. Because you just call her C.C. because you guys are so close. So let's call CC.

Um, how long does CC? It's like CC's beats like pizza disgusting. I would never. No, of course. Yara, I was close. Yara. So we're talking about Austin coming to the house and Sierra is like, I don't care anymore. Like last year was awesome.

We had a great time, but I don't care about boys right now. I'm so centered and if I can just stay centered I will be totally centered and not caring and pages like looking at Greg going like I told you so I told you so Yeah, you're so centered. We'll see how long that one lasts And so then at the house they arrive and pages like oh my god look at all the fucking boxes I'm gonna be like Amanda and not get involved with that. Wow, it looks the same, but like not really. It's crazy.

Yeah, they read the owners of this house, they must have remodeled it or something. They probably saw it on TV and were like, oh god, our house looks like terrible. But they're also probably- Well, we're fumigating, we might as well spray some paint on the walls. But I'm wondering did they realize they would also be renting out their house again for the show because like you just put all this money into making your house like better and

it's getting trashed immediately. Yeah, I think they came in here and changed all the floors to like wood vinyl flooring and painted the walls all in high glass like a plastic paint. This wipeable paint, I was talking about the Honda Element earlier how you could just hose it out. I think they've done that to the house. It's just all covered in some kind of a rubber now. Yeah, I got, I hope so.

So, Bay just like, oh my God, like this is, like the house looks so much cuter now. It's so, I like, wanna like and subscribe to this house. Like nothing could be go wrong. Oh my God. Oh my God, why did they do this to me? Oh my god Craig look? They took the closet away Craig. Oh my god. Oh my god Craig. I can't believe it They put in a wall over the closet. This is like almost almost public He's like you can't just like drag our suit get look let's put out candles

Let me mess up the room so we can take the room. Check, should I pee? Because that'll take the room. Oh my God, I hate this cattle crack. Oh my God, I don't know if I can stay with crack. And Craig is also one of those couple people who everything he has to amount. He's like, oh look, it's our first kiss in the house, baby.

Oh, cool. It's our first kiss in the house, baby. Oh, cool. It's our first kiss, no boarding, baby. I'm like really scared to be spending two weeks with Craig. Like, I'm petrified. He's in one. He's in scene, two. He's a hoarder and three. He keeps pressing random things and asking if it's the defrost button.

I don't know if I can do this. So Kyle drives up. No, no, not Kyle Luke, but I thought it was Kyle at first because he went, whole lay, mullet. And that just sounds like such a Kyle thing to say. And it was, it's bilingual Luke. Yeah. And by the way, so Luke pulls up and then we cut quickly to page walking down the stairs and telling Craig, these are slippery. Remember? And then we see a flashback of Craig just falling down the stairs. So Luke walks in and he's like, hello, anyone here? Hello? Hat dishes? Are there any hat dishes here? Hello? And Craig almost sees some of the hall but jumps back into the stairs and goes, oh my god,

it's fucking Luke. This is our first kiss with fucking Luke in the hall. He's like oh look it's Craig hey what's up bro good to see you dude bro and Craig tells us Luke and I like we've had like good times together but like there are fundamental differences between us like our personalities they like clash like I don't know how we're gonna do two weeks to go you like Luke But page doesn't so now you can't like Luke. We just all watched this episode the season of Southern charm Where you were totally fine with Naomi until page said not to be and then you were totally rooted in him We know your tricks, sir

Yeah, and then Luke does the Luke thing. He's like oh, I'm leaving my best life when I'm in the elements and in nature. Like, less buildings, more trees is what I say. It does something that feeds my soul. Like, it's so quiet you can hear a snowflake fall next to you. I mean, nothing like rocking on your porch around twilight time, your bones go. Just as limp as a willow tree, the shadow from the mountain makes its way up my steps. Like Like an old friend coming to visit in the stars. I mean, right now the sky would be plumb full of them, you know, kids playing the school yard, doors with no locks, folks are looking straight in the eyes and smile. Yeah, people are as close as corn and Jupiter Hallow. And when Mother Nature looks out her window, Jupiter Hallow was the view she loves best.

Look, did you just, did you just segue into big business, Luke? Yeah, I did. I did. Every time they show a picture of Luke at home, it looks like you're in target and you're about to buy a sweater. You know all the men model, like welcome to the men's department. It's a guy on a four wheeler in flannel looking to the side. It looks like that in every picture. So he's like

so positive and he lies, he goes and lies on a bed and he looks up and he goes, six ceiling fan. Gosh, it's so quiet that you can hear Craig and Paige dissing you with their eyes from all the way downstairs. God, just breathe it in. Man, it feels good. Oh, yeah. So Craig's asking Luke how he's doing. It looks like, oh, well, you know, I'm working on myself.

You know, it feels like the only way I can be with someone is if I get therapy and get over things from my past. And Paige goes, I, well, therapy. And of course, by therapy, I mean the new brand that they have at the mall. Oh my God. So sick. The bar, it's the bar. And I like when Luke goes, yeah, you know, I've really learned I gotta work on myself and Craig goes, yeah, good. That's me. That's me. It's like, yeah, you know, gotta go to therapy. Yeah, yeah, like me, like we shut up Craig. I'm not working on yourself. Yeah, and Craig's like yeah, she page wants me to go to therapy and looks like Dude you should he's like yeah, but they'd probably like institutionalize me if I did

So I don't know about that. Hey, you've never heard of it to foster The only reason why I'd go to therapy is that way afterwards I could kiss page and be like look It's my first kiss with you since I start going to therapy So then babe cuz so loo and sing oh good She pages like hey, do you remember the florist from Kalan Amanda's wedding? Yeah, her name is Rachel and she's coming I like that's like a normal thing that would happen. Hey, remember how there was a cuter waiter at that wedding?

They're coming to the park, they're in the cast now. Yeah. And Jason's bringing a really pretty blonde girl and looks like are they platonic? You gotta love Luke already, like pretty blonde. She's mine. He calls himself. I'm working something myself.

Normally I'd say, hey, has someone called dibs on that ham, but since therapy, now I say, are they platonic? So then we cut to Jason and Jessica and Jessica's, like, what is Stovermont known for? Oh wait, chocolate, right? It's like, what? Chocolate,. Oh wait, chocolate, right? It's like what? Chocolate, oh my god, chocolate. I love chocolate.

It's just me, just, you know, real estate agent slash metaverse entrepreneur. It's me. It's just like, nope, not, though I don't even know where you got chocolate. What, but isn't there that chocolate, Russell Stover? No, that's Russell Stover and not related to Stover Mont. Oh, oh wait, I know it you got chocolate. What, but isn't there that chocolate? Russell Stover? No, that's Russell Stover and not related to Stover Mott. Oh, oh wait, I know it's known for sex.

He's like, nope, nope. I think maybe maple syrup. Oh, maple syrup. How do you know maple syrup is my favorite thing? Did you see it in my house? Like, oh my god, this girl is cute. She's gonna be great. He goes, yeah, just pick up on these things. And then we get a, which was funny. And so he goes,

you know, walking into the house, make give preconceived notions about us, like, what's going on here between those two? No, Jason. Nobody's going to wonder that. We already know you've been friends-owned. You're Jason. Okay, you're a Jason, you've been friends owned. Jason is fascinating to me because I don't know how someone could be so blazing hot as Jason and just perpetually in a friend's zone. That's so bizarre to me.

Yeah, there's no mystery there. He's like, hey, I'll do anything that makes you happy. People are like, boy. No, no, I would never want to spend the rest of my life with you. I'll cook you some food and I'll do anything that makes you happy. People are like, boy. No, no. I would never want to spend the rest of my life with you. I'll cook you some food and I'll do it well. Boo. I'll ask you about your emotions.

Boo, get out of my face. Yeah. And she's like, oh my god, like, I don't even get like ice fishing. Like, how do you catch a fish and ice? Like, wouldn't the fish freeze to death but I'm like super excited like right like how are the fish not frozen you still stuck on that because like it's a thing but it's gonna be like super fun and let's share a fish because they're probably like

oh my god hi good day at the office huh like how are we not frozen like is that worth which we thought it's gonna work is that where they're from? Do they freeze in turn to stick some? Let me fish them and then we serve them. He's like, so Luke immediately spills wine everywhere. He breaks a bottle of wine. I don't know if he was trying to like sword it.

What do you call that when you use the sword? Saber it. No, I think he was just putting a bag of groceries on the counter and he knocked over a wine bottle in the process, which led to a good old fashioned. Goddamn it, damn it. And so there was wine everywhere in glass

and then on top of the, it gets into the drawer and he's all being look about. He's like, damn it, gosh, I don't like you wine demons. So Rachel's one of those girls who walks in and just leaves the door open. So Rachel comes and she's like, hello. And looks like, oh, hi, I'm Luke. Nice to meet you. And then she sees Paige who she's basically seen it one wedding. Yeah. Oh my god! Oh my god! Wait. Wait, our jackets. Oh my god. Like I was gonna see that too with the emphanessonning hour as well. Our jackets.

Oh my god. Twins, twins, twins, twins, twins, twins, like, and subscribe. Oh my god. Yeah, like my jacket is like the color of darkness and your jacket is like the color of a barf emoji We're gonna be like best friends and page who's in like green from head to toe. I was like So page is like yeah, I went to Amanda. I was like wait Who's that girl walking around your venue like putting flowers places and she was like she's a flower lady

And I was like I'm obsessed She's the flower lady and I was like, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed with her. Richels like my relationship with winter is toxic. I was not made for the cold, but I live my life that it's easier to say fuck yeah, than to say fuck no, and there is no fuck between. So when Amanda asked me to go to Vermont, I was like, fuck yeah.

Oh, by the way, I also brought flowers. We're gonna change these out. Yeah, fuck yeah. Oh, by the way, awesome. We're gonna change these out. You're changing the flowers. And she's gonna fit right in here because she goes, yeah, I have like a lot to bring in. So like, I know I just met you hot guy, but could you go get that stuff? I was like, oh, sure. You had me in alcohol. Gosh. He was good meeting new people.

So they start bringing the stuff in and then we find out that Austin can't make it until Monday, which is great to have an Austin free start to the show. And now Kyle and Amanda are next to drive up and Amanda is like, Hi, oh, I'm going to pee my pants. Kyle. And they walk in with, you know, 20,000 lover boys, of course. And Amanda's saying, hi everybody, I bought pie. It's a sad pie. It's just a crust really. Then then she tells us, of course, which we're probably gonna hear about 10 times on summer house.

I'm married now. Officially, I don't know if it was something magical in the wedding band or if Kyle watched back summer house, but he's totally open himself up more and he's letting his guards down and he's like another version of himself and there's like a lot of been, there's been a lot of versions himself but this is the one that I like more. Winter Kyle. Is this an avocado pie? a lot of been there been a lot of version himself, but this is the one that I like more winter Kyle. Is this an avocado pie?

It's like a moment actually. It's like my thing. So Kyle is talking to the guys about this new guy coming and Craig's like, yeah, his name is Corey and like he was my little brother in the fraternity. Mike basically is like my best friend. And they show Craig and this dork, this absolute fucking dork in their fraternity and he's like, if he was our little brother,

oh no, Kyle's like, if he was your little brother, that means you're his role model and that means we're fucked. Yeah. And Craig's like, by the way, Kyle, I grabbed the primary bedroom. And Kyle's like, but I would prefer the primary bedroom. Well, here's, I'm gonna give $500 to you and 500 to Amanda to, you know, because I took the room.

So, and I have that money. So, this guy's such a fucking asshole. I'm so obnoxious. It really is. Now that said, it's really much just that Kyle just always assumes he's gonna have it to I've always hated that he's like well, there's two of us So we get the best there like that sucks to but man He really ate shit last year sucked in the basement. I mean I was a great to just walk right in and be like

We took the main one. Here's a thousand bucks, bra. And Kyle takes it. Kyle's gonna take it too, by the way. He's like, whatever. As you should. He's like, we get it. Your pillow company's printing pillow money. Like, I'm sure he thinks he looks really cool

right now, but bro, coming off super entitled, bra. I love Kyle saying that. Craig sent me off super entitled when like last season Kyle's entire story line was like when we go to Stowe we always go skiing man that you have to ski with us. How are you not gonna ski with us? It's a thing my family skis So I love that Craig doesn't just hand over the money. He keeps holding it waving it around He's like yeah, because you don't have to pay us and he goes yeah Yeah, cuz then you feel like you get something out of that.

And then he likes his fingers to count all the money. Oh, come on. It's a really a fucking wish. If I can just wish for the money. Like, the most obnoxious way to hold money is the way he, like it's one thing if you just sort of like rolled it up into like a little thing and just sort of slipped it into his hand, you know, like when you, like if you're

gonna like tip someone at a restaurant or like like the host or something cause they did something really cool. So you sort of do that little his hand. You know, like, when you're like, if you're gonna like tip someone at a restaurant or like the host or something because they did something really cool as you sort of do that little thing where you wadded up and put it into their hands, you know, discreetly. But he was like, the bills were out and up and he was pulling each one slowly one by one.

It was such an ostentatious display. Yeah, so Kyle's like, yeah, just please let me be above the Peter Pattern. I dealt with the basement last time, you know. looks like oh hell. I'll give you my room I don't care. Give me that money and he goes but I get half of that because I'm taking the room and Craig's like Okay, well you can have 200. He's like thanks, bro. We'll spend it at the bar Yeah, he thinks he's like, thanks for being good sport. This time. So Rachel, like, thanks bro, got him a 200 bucks

and got a new blind wife. Amazing. He just like me, but better yet. I know he's already in love. He's just like, um, right, we're not in the mafia. We don't have to pay our friends off because but money solves everything. Yeah, but you're also not in the mafia and don't get to pay our friends off because but money solves everything Yeah, but you're also not the mafia and don't get to just walk into the neighborhood and pick whatever you want out of it and claim it as your own fuckers

Yeah And so it's just that money solves everything I was like well is someone who spent their young adulthood as friends with Thomas Ravanaugh I can see where you would get back, but still. And Shep. So, yeah. So Nassiera arrives and she's like struggling with her bag and she comes and she's like, party people. And then Corey arrives, the famous Corey and he's showing up and then Craig's saying,

Paige and I have been dating for a little over five months now and we're more romantic than ever. And I'm not trying to brag, but I think our friends could use an example of a healthy relationship in the house. Oh God, he's not good. Oh God. Oh, please.

And then they cut to Amanda and Kyle. And we, the editors are so shady. They put four months ago. Craig would have nailed me and I went to lunch. No crack I said no so then What's his buns? Corey comes in. Croy Jim. Oh, he comes in. Yeah, oh Corey And I'm gonna say Croy lot because I'm sorry. He even kind of looks like Croy

So he comes in and he's like, I love the coat, is that Chen Xiaolong? And he's like, just straight up fuck boy, you just see it right there. It's just blatant fuck boy. And Paige says, I love Corine, but I'm already nervous. That Craig is going to act like a fool. Like when the two of them get together,

Craig has half a brain, and Corine has half a brain, and together they form a full non-functioning brain. And so, which I believe fully. And then Amanda is, she's like, Kyle guys, I forgot my heels. And then they all know that- So the girls are talking about shoes, and we see that the rug is just red now.

I mean, these poor homeowners. Yeah. So then Rachel's like, oh, so Cory, so Cory, are you wearing a pearl necklace right now? Like, what is that? He says, yeah, like I'm bringing pearls back, baby. These should like my grandmother's pearls. Like Cory, we don't need you to wear your resume to the house. Thank you.

Yeah. And it tells us it's like his financial portfolio. He says, I like surprising people. I mean, people think I'm a fuck boy, but I'm wearing pearls and diamonds, which means I'm not a fuck boy. But then when they actually get to know me, it's like, oh, you're actually a real person,

a nice and cool, as opposed to complete douchebag, which sometimes I am, but sometimes I'm also just a douchebag who wears pearls. So there's a distinction. So then in the kitchen, Sierra's trying to open wine, but doesn't seem to really know what the fuck. She's just kind of like tapping the end of the bottle and cracks like give that to me. I'll do it. She goes What do you think bro? I don't know how to open a bottle of wine. You don't and neither does it. It looks like Craig doesn't really either.

He's like, look, This is how you do it Oh my god, I feel hot air coming out of the windshield fucking crazy And then begin Sierra's Story line for the episode. Can you shut the door? It's cold out. God shut the door Yeah, because nobody ever does. I guess they don't shut it so that the cameras can get out there, but that is quite a fun generous. It's like freezing.

That's way too generous that you even think that there's any thought put into why the doors left open. The doors left open because they just are like, someone will close the door for us. You know, they just leave wide open. We remind me of the old scene that used to play out my house growing up close the door Are you born in a barn? Yes, that was Jesus Had a family is that fight just try to steal everything from Game of Thrones really? Hold the door any Anywho. Hold on. So spoiler alert. So Jessica and Jason

arrive and Jessica's like, Oh my God, I'm like nervous that they're not gonna like me. And he goes, Why? She goes, I don't know. Wait for it everybody. Here we here it comes. Girls never like like me. Oh, I knew you were one of those girls. I just fucking made way. That's just, it's just, when you hear those words on reality TV, you know you've got fun coming your way.

It's like when she's gonna do them, like the microaggressions, the other girls, and then she's gonna accuse them all being jealous, and then hang out with the boys, and then be like, why don't they like me? We see an old man to happen. Yeah, so she's like, well, so Rachel, they're asking Rachel. She's single and she says, yeah, my boyfriend was like last fall summer So like I'm ready for some fun. Yeah, and then Jason comes in and then we start getting a bunch of yeah, buddy Yeah, buddy.

I love that this show is so committed to like really leaning into something from Jersey Shore in 2009. And like, yeah, buddy, GTO, am I right? Yeah, buddy. Your money, bro, your money. So Amanda sees this new girl and she's like, oh my God. We knew Jason was bringing a girl, but she looks like someone else. We know this girl could be Lindsay's younger sister. And then we see a side by side of Jess and Lindsay. And I don't think they look like,

I mean, they're both blonde, but they do have the exact same teeth. I think they look like their teeth twins. They're teeth twins, they're squinty twins, they're hair twins. I think they look so much alike. And I thought, especially when Jessica said, how many sandwich wraps have you made me? I was like, wow, the similarities are striking. Especially when Jessica's like, hi, I'm Jess and I'm activated. So she was just like, I got the fajita contract. I was like, wow, so so crazy. I got the quesadilla contract, guys. It's time for commercial. it's time for a crap.

Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin

and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wondery app.

This commercial piece of shower. We learn about Jess and she's like, I grew up in a really strict Baptist church and like it definitely felt like a call. We went to church three days a week. I was homeschooled and we had to wear long sleeves and no makeup and not talk to boys and that's why I left because I'm not that person anymore the question I can't wait to see the repression bikini in below zero weather. I can't wait You know the casting directors they were just basically like passed out on the floor when they found her

They're like wait a second wait second. Girls are jealous of you. And he grew up in a strict religious household and you were homeschooled. Oh, and there's a picture of you as a child with a bunch of other children you're all wearing white amidst sunflowers. Oh my God, they just all have aneurysms. They're just so happy.

Like we got one. So Luke, of course, is immediately talking to her. And he's like, where are you from? And she says, Oregon. He's like, oh yeah, you know, is immediately talking to her. And he's like, where are you from? And she says Oregon. He's like, oh yeah, you know, I'm going to Oregon because, you know, I'm climbing Mount Rainier. She's like, oh my God, you're climbing Rainier. And he's like, yeah, you have to help me

because like, I don't really know Oregon. I'm going in April. She goes, April, but it's going to like rain all the time in April. He's like, yeah, but I got to with my schedule because, you know, I'm producing a feature film. She's, oh, my God, you're a producer. He's, yeah, I'm like an actor, but like, I don't say I, I don't say I act, but I don't act like I definitely act. I'm not like an actor who acts like he acts. I'm like an actor who acts. You ever see the flight attendant?

That was me in a scene. The way that Luke just paraded out this series of like on the nose, fuck boy lines was so impressive. I was like, I cannot believe this. This is, he has been doing therapy. He's like, I'm just gonna get right to the point. Okay. I'm gonna give you all the cheesy lines. Oh, I'm producing a movie. Yeah, I'm an actor. I don't like to say I'm just gonna get right to the point. Okay. I'm gonna give you all the I'm gonna give you all the cheesy lines

Oh, I'm producing a movie. Yeah, I'm an act. I don't like to say I'm an actor. Oh, I like being outdoors Hey, you ever hear a snowflake? Hey be quiet for one second. There it goes Hey, you think that fan is sick That fan is sick You know he knows every mountain and every region for whatever girl he meets. Yeah, or organ and climbing rainier soon. Yeah. Oh yeah, Mount Hood. I love Mount Hood. Yeah. Oh, we're going to Phoenix next. Oh, Camelback. Okay, Kansas. Oh, that's gonna be a tough one.

Okay, we're gonna see a flatland soon. I'm gonna speed walk on the flatlands pretty soon. Oh, I'm climbing flat mountain I know it's not that high and it's mainly just a prairie, but I'm excited So he tells us she might be with Jason, but I'm still gonna get her nor and then we see a montage of Luke hitting on taking people Yes, that's this whole thing. So now they there's a more shots, here's the still, and then the girls go to another to the living room because they're just going to have girl talk. And so the girls are there and then the guys are talking about getting food or just like sort of busy work. They start decorating for Sto Paloza and and they're gonna start doing some beer pong.

And then Craig, now Craig is getting drunk enough they start yelling at people about random things. He's like, wait, you can't do beer pong under there, you can't do that. He's also got this running thing with Sierra where he's always mad at Sierra. Because Sierra's like, okay, I got ping pong, so he goes, what did you bring him? And she's like, no, they were in the fun box. And babe's like, okay, I got ping pong, so he goes, what did you bring him?

And she's like, no, they were in the fun box. And babe's like, oh my God, what are you two in a fight about? He's like, yeah. Also, you can't play Pier Bong from under here like this ceiling decoration. I don't even want the hell. Sierra's like geez.

So then they do the shot skis, but on a hockey stick. And Kyle yells, because this is Kyle's favorite thing, costumes and just getting obliterated, you know. Yeah. So he's like, you're welcome to spell up a loser. Yeah. And there's like shots and pong and shots. And page changes into sweats. And then there's more than 103434 and like the Stopelus was already winding down, it seems like 30 minutes later. And then Kyle starts telling us that last summer, he was very stressed out, it was stressed out Kyle.

So we get a montage of Kyle doing all his stress out things. Like I'm sorry if I'm going through something a little bit more serious there and there. And then crying to be like, that floor is back. My favorite is him self taping on his computer going, we can't get a break with his wedding. But now he's happy to go lucky again. And then we get this great conversation with the mandin page. Page? Yeah. Where are you? Am I

closet? Are you ready? Yeah. I've just changed and she's just all cash now in the man that goes, wow, you really went for it. You went from like divorced widow to 20 year old college student. I can't trust in avocado color for you. How dare you? So none of this beer pong and Luke and Jess, of course, they team up because the flirt is on. And they're already like Luke are, they're already being kind of physical with each other.

And Amanda's like, oh my God, but that's like Jesus friend. Like so she's gonna be a yenta about this. She's gonna try to sort the pot about like, I can't pull Hey Luke doing this. They hate Luke and they're never gonna let it go, right? So she's like, well, imagine if Link's here, I came here with a guy and then you were like swooping in,

like, hey, he's like, yeah, yeah. So then later Amanda is playing this whipped cream game where everybody has to put whipped cream on the back of their hand and then hit the hand and the whipped cream pops up and you have to try and catch it in your mouth. Yeah, this is 40 guys. They're gonna do a remake. Yeah, so that's happening and then there's like whipped cream and it becomes a whipped cream fight and Craig's like baby and then Jessica tells Luke like I don't want to get hit because he's like I know we don't need to be here let's get out of here let's blow this popsicle stand am I right so they go into another room to tell what they can be you know our popsicles are born frozen how does that work

It's born frozen. How does that work? So Corey is talking to Sierra and Rachel. And Jason is cooking chicken and Luke and Jess are in the room. So this is all kind of cut back and forth. So Corey and Sierra and Rachel, Corey's like, snowboard, anybody? And Sierra's like, no, but like I skied and I'm horrible at it.

And Rachel's like, yeah, skiing is definitely better. Yeah, the outfits are better. He's like, what are you guys talking about? The outfits. God. So now we go to Luke and there's a fireplace and Justice Room. I feel like this is the same room

that Lindsay had last summer too, which is funny or last winter. And so he's like, wow, you have a fireplace. She goes, yeah, will you make it for me? Because I would love to literally have been waiting for years on Bravo for someone to ask me the light of fire fire. Ah, yeah, just like someone walks a gorgeous blonde watching, speaking his left language.

Will he make a fire? So he has a favorite thing to do. He has how she knows Jason. And she's like, oh, well, yeah, he messaged me on Instagram and You know, I'm in the crypto space. I have a crypto startup. I think I'd ever go wrong and look at oh really I'm in crypto too. I love that show with that crazy old skeleton being like yours today's episode. I love it so much and she's like I have a very dominant personality And she's like, I have a very dominant personality. So I'm like always attracted to the most powerful guy in the room.

And Luke is producing a movie. He has power. And the power thing, oh, it's crack up. He has power. He has so much power. I'm dead. So Jason is announcing to Amanda basically, because she's the only one there.

But he's like, pants here, chicken and I. And she goes, um, you're doing that? And he goes, yeah, Jessica loves chicken. She goes, uh-huh. And how do you know Jessica? And he goes, um, sitting on my DMs. She goes, wow. So basically, like you're about to get married

and Lucas's stealing your wife. Great. So are you guys friends? He's like, well, I don't know. It's new. Yeah, but like does she know? Like she knows your friends, but she doesn't know. You know, roly eyes, roly eyes. So then in the other room, yeah, basically, Lucas like, you know, I like Jason a lot. He's a good friend and I wouldn't want to piss him off Just kidding. He's so nice. You can really just walk all over him. Not a lot of power. Am I right Jessica? Not a lot of power

She's like well like in my mind. We're just like friends and then Jason comes in right when she says that and he's like dinner is served She goes, oh my god awkward Yeah, they're basically like lips. So then they, they, uh, God, they're eating food and crack. It's like, this is the most tender chicken you will ever eat. Craig, stop pressing the chicken. It's not a defroster.

It was worth trying. So the just later is in the kitchen with the guys and she's like, oh my god, it's like two in the morning. Where is everyone? And it just cuts to Rachel snoring in bed and Amanda is pooping. And she's like, Kyle, where'd you go? Kyle? Yeah. And and and so yeah, Jess is clearly getting off, you know, doing shots with the guys and all that power down in the kitchen. She's like, I love all these powerful men and they're just like talking about Amanda telling Kyle that she has Jason about Jessica and that he might be interested in her.

Now I have to say, first and foremost, when they're walking the house, Jason was like, oh, people might get the wrong impression of us when we walk in together, which to me sounds like they're definitely not dating. And it's also they've been, they've known each other for a few months and nothing's happened. So I don't know, I think that Amanda's, Amanda needs to let me go. Amanda's a man being. Yeah.

So she's like, yeah, and then he said they're just friends right now, but like he just said right now, Kyle, because that means that they could be more than just friends than like tomorrow when it's not right now, Kyle, but I mean, when it is tomorrow, we'll still be saying right now, which I don't know how much sense that's really gonna make a lot of time.

And Kyle's like, hey babe, it's just that they're putonic. And she's like, Kyle, Kyle, say it again, Kyle. He's like plutonic. He's like, Kyle. Oh. And then over in Luke's room, Luke has a banana. I'm just talking to him because you're an idiot. Yes, you're in it.

No, you're an idiot. No, you're an idiot. Well, punch and duty there for all the Luke heads. So in the morning, Rachel wakes up and she's the only person to wake. So she cleans the entire house. That is a huge mistake that you just made because now they're going to just expect that every day. And no, no one's going to wake up. Well, Luke does because he's Luke, but no one else is going to wake up and go, wow, someone cleaned. At people don't know, okay? They will never be grateful. Don't waste your time.

Never. Yeah, Luke starts making the bake in. And Jason gets some firewood and people just start waking up and we see Paige and Craig and Brad and Craig's like, hey baby, did you have fun last night? You can stay in here with me. So Jason comes in to just embedding because one of my friends taught me coffee and bed was one of the best things to receive.

And the wissy clips of Andrea like, coffee in the bed. And she's like, um, did Luke has loop ring coffee too? He's like, I beat him to it. Oh, I was just hoping for a more powerful cup of Joe, if you know what I'm saying, I love power. This is like such good working class coffee, which is great. I'm looking at more for like, if this coffee were storing 50 cents Okay, bring me the power coffee So then yeah, so the plan for today is that there's gonna be snowmobiling

so They they're all getting dressed and then Jason starts staging the house Because why not and then Sierra just goes oh what's that smell? Shut the door! So then, um, Austin calls Craig, and Craig's like, Oh my God, it's Austin calling. Hey, Austin, he's like, Crab! Fuckin' straight out of Crab! We'll squine all over there, Crab! Tell me everything, every little thing going on over there, Crab!

And Austin tells us, he's like, over there crack tell me everything every little thing going on over there crack. And Austin tells us he's like, yeah, things are bitter sweet since my flight was cancelled. I'm like, I don't understand why that's bitter sweet, but that's fine. Can you have a really good meal at Chili's? Like, what's the good part? I really, I really enjoyed going through TSA. It was so fun. It was a little bit of sweet. So then it cuts to Sierra and Jess talking. And Jess comes in and sits on the bed and Sierra goes, you can sit on my bed.

She is sitting on your bed. So then back to Austin, Austin's like, okay, what's going on over there? Okay, what's it like? Is anything weird happened? Anything weird? Oh, okay, what's going on over there? Okay, what's it like? Is anything weird happened? Anything weird? Oh, Cran, come on, Cran. Cran's like, uh, like, snowmobiling.

Like, my guess is like last year, like, we sat around and drank. Sierra tried to open one. That was embarrassing. Yeah, Cory is a great addition. I'm just being like, I'm here. I don't care what happened, you know? Cause like, Cory's been great, you know, we're poor, we're all so, which is great.

And Austin's like, well, from what I've gathered, it's a familial situation and everyone's excited to be back there. It's insane right now how happy people sound like they are. Bittersweet. So I'm back to Sierra and Jess. Sierra's like, yeah, so like so far, it's like fine. And Jess says, well, like, saying, you know, like everyone in the house and like, you, so like so far it's like fine. And just says, well, like saying, you know, like everyone in the house and like you get along with them, she goes, yeah, I mean, like, I'm still getting to know you. Yes, thank you, Sarah. And like, great. Also like Rachel and like, court, yes, here we get it. You don't know the new people yet, but thanks for warning it. She was built, yeah, but like, Corey fits in great, but like Austin's coming and like,

we had a thing after you left. Yeah, he came to like the Ham, but like Austin's coming and like we had a thing after you left Yeah, he came to like the Hamptons of summer and it was like a fucking Shit show Yeah, she just starts over sharing with everything She's like yeah, and then I went to Charleston for pages birthday and I saw him and I was like I haven't seen him It's so long and I want to apologize and I was like well what the fuck took you so long So then like we like had sex and everything but then it was like it was cool that time But then he didn't text afterwards and then I like went on to Instagram what the fuck took you so long. So then we had sucks and everything, but then it was cool that time,

but then he didn't text afterwards. And then I went on to Instagram, I sent him a DM and it took him a while. And he sent only back the heart emoji. And just was like, uh-huh. Uh-huh. Listen, I don't know you very well. I just came in here to ask if you had any, you know, hairspray.

I know. You know, hairspray. I took this as Sierra being like, yeah, I don't even care that Austin's coming. I'm not even thinking about boys. I'm gonna immediately talk to the hot blonde girl that Austin hasn't laid his hands on yet and warn her that I already have a thing going on with Austin. Yeah, so Craig is like very happy because since Craig told Austin that Cory is there in Sierra's there he knows that Austin can be so jealous and like so uneasy about the fact that that the two of them are in the same household and there will be no cock blocking. So Craig is just happy that he's he's riled up Austin and that for the next two days Austin just because

he's fixing his house. He says when I told Austin Corey was coming on this trip Austin goes so what is here and Corey gonna hook up now. As a now Austin's all stressed out of course. Yeah. So they go off to this no more be yelling. Yeah, snow more be yelling. But then but not before con Amanda check in on their foster dogs. So they have foster dogs. No And they've actually like decided to keep two of the dogs and so like it taught a patient side a Kyle. Who knew two bitches would have changed Kyle? I love this light Amanda after her last season. She's like, I'm going to go improve that I'm light fun Amanda. Yeah. She's like, we're going to improve that I'm light, fun, Amanda. Yeah.

She's like, we're gonna get some dogs, take some nice pictures of Kyle, rehab our image a little bit, shouldn't be a problem. Yeah. So then we have like the girls, car in the bar, car in the alcohol, and they get all snowmobiles, and it's paired up kind of how you think,

just like, all right, we think power, power, power. Good luck keeping up with this horse train. And then Corey and Sierra pair up and Corey tells us that he loves adrenaline. And we see footage of him maybe flying a helicopter and then footage of him using some sort of flame thrower. I don't know, I'm like, I'm just throwing grenades and zip lining across the Grand Canyon or something next? Yeah.

And Paige said that that I've cracked, driving something 70 miles an hour and me hanging off the back is not the most comforting thought, but I will put the fuck out of this outfit. And she's got like a pink shiny snow suit and a diamond mask. Yeah, she's a Polo clava. Yeah. She, so then they just, the snowmobiles and they're just riding through the snow, which means we hear a lot of. Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom,

vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, Jess is like, yeah, like, I've skydived in seven countries and I've like a bungee jumped. So like, I'm gonna go fast. So look better, hold on.

It's like, oh my God. I love her like jumped and skydived in seven countries, Ronnie. She didn't just skydive. She knows what it's like to breathe air far above a different country seven of them specifically Party she cracks me up and she's perfect for Luke to Because that's a losing to say like I've skyved him in seven countries So then

It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's commercial commercial. It's time for a crap and it's commercial. Luke and Jess are walking together and then page C. Sam and she's like, guys, do you think that Jessica looks like Lindsay and Craig is like, hey, what do you guys think of Corey and Cronkos? He's just salt dude. Great smile. Craig goes, yeah, right? Yeah, he has a nice smile on everything. And Corey's still wearing the pearl necklace. He's like wearing it over his snowmobile thing. And he's talking about living. He's telling Sierra about how he lives in Greenville, but he's gonna move to Charlotte to open up a gym

because he already owns two gyms. And Sierra's like, I wanna see the gym. And he's like, yeah, you should come see it because everything's Instagrambo because I can draw. And she's like oh my god Like you look a quarry and you think like oh wow It's just gonna be a douchebag Jim guy But then you like you talked to him one-on-one and you peel back the layers and he's actually a business guy And he can like paint things and like he does a lot of things you wouldn't expect like not many people admit

They're like painting. That's pretty cool. I'm like poor Sierra. I I feel bad live where you're not used to somebody and who would admit to fucking painting? That's just sad. But also, I just feel bad for her that her experience with fuckboys is so limited. Has she never heard of a fuckboy painter type?

The whole reason why he can paint is that way he can say, yeah, I like to paint because I'm sensitive. Well, crack to me out, because she's like, oh my God, you can't draw, and then we see the pictures of the gym, and it's happy faces on a wall. I know, it's like, yeah, a wall.

It's like a toad. Like a Nintendo toad. It's a real fucking Picasso over there. I know. Happy faces. Yeah, people who paint aren't fuck boys, that's like literally never happens in life ever ever So then Rachel Amanda and Paige are talking Amanda's like so

Listen, you're really only worthy if you're liking a guy fucking a guy pretending not to like a guy or marrying a guy so like you feel like you're not vibing with guys and Rachel's like, um, they're really not like my type I mean, you've got like fuck boy bro and actually that one's nice Of course to Jason. You got a you got like a bro a fuck boy and like In possibly attractive man who cooks food and is like so caring and doodling so like in other words, I totally loser Yeah, I like the Rachel's, like, that one makes chicken. So I'm going for him. As she should. And Amanda's like, this isn't where you have to find your husband.

Page goes, yeah, I'm actually advised against it. And then it cuts to Craig burping. So then meanwhile, Jess and Luke are talking. She's like, so what are you looking for in a girl? And he goes, well, I know I'm ready to be in relationship, ideally with someone else who's in a relationship. And she's like, oh, I like that you like to pursue,

I like that you're pursuing me hard. It makes me, I don't know, feel like you got power. And he's like, oh yeah, you like that? You like the chase? She's like, I do. I'm like, I like it, but like stop, but I like it, but like stop, I like it, but like stop. You like the chase. She's like, I do. I'm like, I like it. But like stop, but I like it. Like stop. I like it. But like stop. You're not saying any like that.

Like mine. Fuck huh. Yeah. It's like a mind. Fuck you like how you know, I just started therapy. Okay. So don't fuck with me. They are basically like two red flags just tangling themselves up in each other right now. So now Kyle, they're back and Kyle is alone with the living room and he sees a bottle of wine and goes, really? Who leaves a bottle of wine? Like who opens it and just like leaves it open? And then he drinks it from the bottle. And then the guys go out, the back, it's just start sledding, but they're being like goofy sledding and jumping on. They're just like, they just some, I don't know how it's possible to sled it in a douchey way, but they'd wind up doing it. And Amanda's watching. Like, how does

it, sledding is just sledding, but somehow they make it look douchey. And Amanda's like, guys can be so simple minded. Like, do you see how much it takes to make them happy? And page goes, yeah, the Annab blow job is really all they want. So then the girls go out a couple of the girls go out and sled and crash page is like, I'm okay. So then cut to the obligatory Luke playing guitar in his room. Yep. Classic. And then later Amanda's in the kitchen. She's like, oh my God, we're gonna play this game called double trouble where you're gonna like wear costumes and then like another person's gonna wear a costume and like it has to be with like somebody that you don't know.

So in other words, night to remember. So Kyle is dressed up as an avocado and he's doing a dance, he's going, I'm a healthy fat. I'm a healthy fat. And then Craig and Luke wind up as being partners and Craig goes, yeah, Luke and I know each other real well He cooked me out of his house on the 4th of July for lighting fireworks So now we get the backstory about why Craig does not feel like he and Luke are a great personality match Yeah, me and Austin went to visit him in Minnesota. Well, Craig was staying in my guest cabin in the shed that he made us stay in.

Yeah, a guest cabin. Yeah, it was basically outside, but like with wood on our head. I guess the cabin. Anyon fireworks in it. Yeah, I left the fireworks in the cabin because it's not like I left a note saying, hey Craig, like have fun with these. So like I basically saw a note, it was like hey Craig, have fun with these.

I mean, why else would you leave fireworks around two grown men in a shed? Well, what they didn't think about was my $165,000 boat without a cover on it, sitting right next to them that was full of gas. Gas is a thing that famously can explode when fireworks hit it. Yeah, you would have thought we actually lit his boat on fire. So then he got mad and he dumped the fireworks into the water, which almost maybe literally

cry and then basically threatened to kick us out of Minnesota. I had to throw them in the water to be honest. They were about to explode. The countdown was they said, they cut the red line or the blue line. I said, I have a better idea. I told them in the water. Oh, situation saved.

Funny thing is a couple of weeks later, mom made a hot dish with fresh cat fish. And it exploded the second she lit a birthday candle on it. It was like a strange version of rasha mom rasha monday and that's what it was. So basically these two idiots were lighting firework. I think it's like well you know I have a thing with about fireworks which is that I cannot. My thing is I just don't like amateur fireworks. I think they're stupid. I don't know why people do them. I think like go to a park and they'll let the professionals do it. Because when regulars do fireworks, you get a stupid ass fireworks show.

That's like, it's stupid. It's like saying, hey guys, who wants to look at my home movies and then everyone in the neighborhood has to like watch your home movie for 10 seconds? As opposed to, why don't I just go to a movie theater and see a proper movie. You know, that's, I just think they're loud and people should get there. Then people blow their fingers off. They're just rough. That's a fun part.

I mean, I love them. Of course, I grew up in Texas, you know, and like I grew up on a street where you go outside and you set off the fireworks and every time you see it, you're like, somebody here is gonna have serious burn damage. Who's it gonna be? I mean, it's the best holiday of the year. It's like, is it worth it for your one sad little light in the sky? I feel like when you see fireworks,

when you go to just even a local park or whatever, those fireworks are so much better than what anyone can do at home that I don't understand why people risk their fingers. Their lives. For the day insurance. For the day insurance, the fun. It's for the day insurance.

It's for the day insurance. It's for the day insurance. It's for the day insurance. It's for the day insurance. It's for the day insurance. It's for the day insurance. It's for the day insurance. It's for the day insurance.

It's for the day insurance. It's for the day insurance. It's for the day insurance. It's for the day insurance. It's for the day insurance. It's for the day insurance. It's for the day insurance. It's for the day insurance. It's for the day insurance. It's for the day insurance. or something and I kept seeing fireworks out my window so I went out and all the neighbors were out there doing fireworks on the street and The cross the street neighbors who were assholes and never talked me unless you listen to the show Sorry, you didn't hear it for me, but um They were setting them off and I was like they're setting those right off right in front of there

Like little babies faces like to have these real cute little kids A foot and they're not just like sparklers. These are like actual, you know, Roman candles and shit that you're setting off in the kids' faces. And they're just sitting there and trying and I was like, one of those little blonde kids is going to get it. I cannot wait. And then one of them went off and flew into the neighbor's yard and started the tree

on fire. And I was like, God, it's good to be back in Texas. It just is it ever really worth it. I don't think it is. I think they're just like super, super, it's just super annoying. I don't, and they go off at all times, you know, where I live in Hollywood,

July 4th, July 4th fireworks start like around June 15th and they go into about like today. Okay, because I swear to God last night, I heard fireworks going off at like 11.30. And I was like, why, why is there a firework going off on, you know, like on a random weeknight? Like, why is this happening? And the fireworks go off all night long.

Like it'll be 2.30 in the morning, 3 in the morning, 6 in the morning, you'll all of a sudden just hear're a firework and I'm like that's good to me I hear a firework. I put on the crop top and grab a 40 and just stand in the driveway like But like you know certain things homemade or it's like great someone says hey I'm gonna make a homemade pie or like I'm gonna make a homemade cheesecake So they're not I'm making fireworks. They buy. Or like, I'm gonna make a homemade cheesecake. So they're not high making fireworks. They buy fireworks.

It's a homemade fireworks show. And, you know what, like, I don't, it's just like, you know, you said Hamilton, it's like everyone in the neighborhood decided that we're gonna put on their own version of Hamilton. I'm like, no, if I'm a sea Hamilton, I'm gonna see it on Broadway or the national Tour. I don't want to see you know Like Robert down the street just putting on

Oh Texan who loves homemade fireworks show and is in community theater How dare you when I walk outside to see those homemade fireworks, almost brim the faces off children, I say, hello, I'm Alexander Hamilton. They say, I'm Alexander Hamilton. And they say, I'm Alexander Hamilton. And we've got a show. And the third one says nothing, because his head's been blown off.

You know, I mean, the other thing is, then you got two dumb dums, like Austin and Craig. This is why fireworks are terrible, because invariably always wind up in the hands of Craig and Austin. And that's the thing, like two people who never should be handling fireworks and are shooting them off next to basically a bomb.

Okay, see the fun in that? This is the chance to see someone like a Craiggger in Austin get their karma coming to them. Yeah, but then what it comes back as is like, oh, we should feel bad for them. Like don't say that on the podcast. That's mean. They lost all their hands. And that's so mean because now like that's like not right. And then all of a sudden I can't say make a joke about it.

And then I'm going to get messages saying like, I know you thought that was funny, but my cousin lost his hands with fireworks. And then I have to issue an apology all because we're not talking about your dad because they met. Stupid, so stupid with fireworks. Yeah, well listen, fireworks should be like a scary movie where you just go outside and you say who's gonna die first? Well, I don't like to hear you talking about it. I'm the one who gets killed. I'm the one who gets killed in those movies and I don't want to hear you talk Horn and Wait. Wait to hear a child scream. Except it's I'm the one who gets killed

I'm the one who gets killed in those movies and I don't want to get killed by someone's firework because they don't know how to use them Oh geez. Okay, so then Everybody pairs up into different little pairs. They have to start like getting to know each other So Connolly and Rachel are the avocados and Paige and Jess are peanut butter and jelly Yeah, and then Sierra and Jason are hot dogs and then Korn Amanda are unicorns. There's just a lot of costumes going on. They're socializing.

It feels like some weird corporate event where it's like a team building exercise. I didn't really understand what was terribly fun about this, but anyway, Page starts gossiping, she's gossiping with with Jessica. And with us would you have to ask anybody that you've never known before if you're on Winterhouse, what's your type? Yeah. My God. Do you guys do fucking anything else except think about being wanted by a dude? God fucking do something. My God. Like do something

with your life. There's more to life than like oh my god, who are you? Antill there's one single person here. Yeah Jessica goes I Really like a financial business guy. Oh The classic paradigm of a thoughtful man who always always puts his lady first the financial business guy I love pages response. Yes, absolutely Manchled business guy. I love pages response. She has absolutely, absolutely. So then Jason and Sierra are talking.

Jason's like, what's your favorite color? She has, what's my favorite color? I mean, I think it's pink. I'm really into financial guys though. Okay, okay. She and Jess is like, does Craig, do you guys say I love you to each other? And she's like, yeah, he's her telling me

he loved me a month, like a month after we started dating, but he was always drunk, so I just wouldn't respond. Yeah, I just didn't respond until the funny set is sober. And Jess goes, he is kind of out there. I mean, what's the biggest thing that annoys you about him? She goes, I mean, look at him, look at him right now. He literally looks like a shark. He's not just like dress like a shark. He literally looks like a physical

shark and a West Side Story shark rolled into one all the sh- he literally looks like- honestly, he also looks like a shark vacuum cleaner. I'm not gonna lie. It's just all the sharks. That's what he is. And it cuts to crack in his hair. It's just all over the place. He's wasted, like, red-faced. So then Kyle and Rachel are paired up as avocados and he's like, oh, are we like avocados anonymous? She's like, oh my god, you're hilarious. What's it like being married? Different but great. What's like the next step? Next step. Yeah, like babies. Babies, right? The dogs. We got dogs, babies, right? You're like babies. My god, I love talking about next steps. Hey, Craig, what's your favorite dinosaur? What's or tell me something random so that way we can You got those babies, right? You got my babies? I got a lot of talking about next stop.

Hey, Craig, what's your favorite dinosaur? What's, or tell me something random, so that way we can just tell people that we did this. And so Craig goes, um, okay. My favorite dinosaur is an Anclyosaurus. I was like, wow, that's a surprising deep cut from Craig. I was expecting a classic triceratops or segasaurus from him. I was surprised you went to Anclyosaurus.

I was a little impressed. Is that real? Yes, it's the Anclyosaurus is the dinosaur that's sort of, kind of, it almost looks like a turtle, but it has spiky sides and it has like a tail that's kind of like a club. They're really adorable actually, if they're, you know, based on the drawings. Oh, so then back to Rachel and Kyle, he's're, you know, a space on the drawings. Oh.

So then back to Rachel and Kyle, he's like, what's your middle name? She's like, I'm not telling you. It's like, it's, okay, it's so key. And it's Korean and it means beautiful smile. He goes, oh, that's beautiful. It's like, oh, well, no, because I was adopted when I came to America.

And so my mom and dad named me Rachel, but then they chose to keep my birth name from South Korea. And it was really because like when I was younger everyone got that LL beanbook bag, you know that LL beanbook bag Yeah, we all had it and like everyone else's had three initials, but I had four initials So that's a reason I stood out Kyle's like Okay He's like nodding. He's like back at the gym. All the childhood traumas I've ever heard on these shows, that has to rank up there.

Yeah. My LLB in catalog had one extra initial audit. I was more initials. Mine didn't even have initials. Okay. I had the LB in bag, but I did not have initials. It was just a generic one. Of course you did. A fucking course you have that back. From Westchester to yours. Like if I was not wearing it, if I did not have initials. It was just a generic course you did a fucking course you have that from Westchester of course like if I was not wearing it if I did not have an L. being book bag I might as well just thrown myself into the Hudson River and hoped a firework exploded on my face so I had whatever plastic fucking bullshit bag then had a superhero badly printed on it from the scags. Okay, that's

what I had. Well, but you also had a Trapper Keeper, as you've mentioned many times. I did. Um, so then Amanda and Craig, so now basically, Amanda is still trying to keep this night going because like it's her hosting night and Craig hates this night. So he's like, uh, she says, okay, we're running. let's have a drink now. And he goes, you like literally haven't done anything. She's like, I hosted the whole party, Greg. Oh, the next game is called Make Eye Contact with your partner.

And he goes, oh my God, go do something, donkey. I also like that Amanda's like rebranding steering contest to make eye contact with your partner like this is a copywriter or not a lot of say staring contest, staring contest anymore. She's like this game you look into each other's eyes and try not to laugh and then we make you guys laugh I'm like yeah, staring contests. We're not falling at the staring contest. She has to make it more meaningful. It's Amanda to make it more meaningful. It's Amanda. Let your partner know what you're really feeling. Okay. And if they laugh, they're out. And Craig's like, he should go against another team. I'm not going to try to make Luke laugh. Wait, he's like, he's like the kid at the birthday party who has had too much sugar and he's

yelling at all the other kids about how to have fun. Yeah, he's like, you're doing it wrong. She's gone. Just staring the line. I said, we're a team. Me and she was like, yes, shut the fuck up. Craig. So page is mortified. You know, and she's like, Oh my God.

Craig is crazy. Like I consider myself very easy going, but there's one thing I will not stand for and that is my boyfriend yelling at my girlfriends. That's like icky, like it's night to calm and calm. So now it's the eye contact game formerly known as a steering contest and um, staring and staring and laughing and staring and laughing and laughing and staring and um, and then it's over. So then Amanda's like, all right, let's party. So then Luke starts teaching Jess how to dance, which I was surprised at. I did not think that Luke was a hoover at all, but maybe he's like, who's not a dance? I mean, he's teaching him how to salsa dance. Well, it's the movie we're producing is called dirty sourcing. It's great.

That was funny. It's like bitty, bitty boom, boom. So then a man goes to pages room, pages changing. And pages like my costume was just so hot. She was, tonight, I'm going to jump tonight. She's like, oh yeah, the pairings were perfect. Like there was one half of the avocado and then another. And like you and Kyle seem good. She goes, yeah, he's made a good effort to be a partner and it's like good

Bage goes wow Yeah, but it's weird because you know the amanda's only coming to your room if she's about to cry about something right? Yeah So Amanda's like, yeah, oh like Sometimes I'm like you're not gonna fight me, but also I went off birth control and I'm still mob pragmat So like maybe I can't get pregnant like I don't know how well um I think you'll be okay and like that's stressful and I'm I'm so sorry

I'm not gonna be able to go to bed in the next five minutes or this can be a long conversation That's kind of like a rough interface. Yeah. Yeah. So then Kyle and Jason bed, I wrote, and Jason's like, bro, I thought there could be something between Jessica and I and Kyle's like, what did you tell her? Because you can't take income, you can't take any income, Jeff, or something like, you didn't do any work for you know what I mean?

And Jason's like, I've really never thought about it. He's like, well, I'm in the friendship zone. And, you know, if she wants Luke, that's great. I mean, I love her, Andrew, where she is in life. Like, that's just my vibe. I'm just give everyone in space and respect their decisions. And I don't know why that's not getting me laid. It's so weird.

Really, really weird. Isn't there any woman who's ever going to come in here and just be like, wow, he made his chicken? Like just once. I mean, as far as I can tell, I'm the only one here who seems to have an eight back, but apparently, apparently, that's nullified by being a considerate person, weird, so strange. So Justin Luke are in the hot tub. And Jessica's like, oh my god, that's like a really sweet that you set this up. Yeah, I dug it.

I basically dug it and then put the hose in here and dropped a toaster in it to warm it up. I love it. So powerful. Yeah, I feel like this is like a first date. Like, hey, welcome to the first date. Sorry, I brought eight other people. Hey, that's a joke.

We're using in the movie I'm producing. Yeah, so anyway. Hey, by the way, I don't know if you're a fan, but I tap trees and make maple syrup. She's oh my god. Like maple syrup. It's a wait. A maple syrup is like my favorite thing ever. Oh my god. And because yeah, Jason likes you. Let's be real. Listen, do you like maple syrup? We're having the talk. Things are getting things are moving quickly. So quickly so we got to move forward on this. And he's like, I just feel rude. Why do you feel rude? I'm not into him.

Does he have any sort of power? No, I don't think so. I'm into you. You're a movie producer. Okay, you're about to get an Oscar. Power. And he's like, God, it's amazing. We can come on vacation. Two hot, young, blonde people. And just like fulph for each God, it's amazing. We can come on vacation, two hot, young, blonde people, and just like ful for each other. That's wild.

You know, I've been working on myself and I feel like I'm in a great place. I'm ready for a relationship after I think, you know, one therapy session really fixed everything. It's amazing what life throws your way, especially when you're just an incredibly attractive person. Wow. He's like, I want to have to kiss. Just wait like really? And then it cuts to Craig just standing outside with the pizza pizza pizza, like she's having to get, I don't know if he's shame eating or what he's doing.

But then the door shuts on him and he's like, wait a minute, I can't get back in. And she's like, wait, I don't know how to open this door. Like guys, how do I open the door? I just want to clarify that he's standing outside with his pizza and they ask him why is he standing out there? And he says, I'm standing out here to cool my pizza off. That's what he I miss that.

Yeah. So Amanda is, Amanda goes to page and says, you were a little quiet tonight, like how are you and Craig? And she's like, oh, well, he's just like so loud and wild and like, and Amanda goes, I don't know how that is, whatsoever, she's making a joke because Kyle's crazy. And we see Kyle dancing as the avocado downstairs.

And we see Craig still trying to get in back into the house. It's like literally reenacting the Flintstones opening credits. So funny. And no one knows how to open the door. It's cracking me up. So then Craig's like, they finally get it back in and get Craig's like, okay, Sierra, we're gonna have to teach you how to work a door knob.

She's like, Craig, shut up, you piece of shit. This is why you get a bad rap. Oh no, that you piece of shit. This is why you get a bad rap. Oh no, that's what he says. This is why you get a bad rap, which I didn't know that's, I didn't know Dorinob issues were Sierra's issue. So Sierra, not able to open doors. So Amanda's like, you know what?

So fucking annoying, falling in love with someone and being worried about their every move. And then we see Craig climbing on the pong table and then grabbing the railing on the second floor. She's like, oh, this is a disaster. He's just wasted. She says, yeah, because that person is like a reflection of you. And what they fuck up is like, y'all chose that.

And she tells us like alone, he's amazing, but he's obnoxious. And I'm not a mom. And I don't date toddlers. Like, if we can't get through two weeks of vacation, how will we get through a lifetime? And Craig is now stomping on the table, going suck it. And then there are people jumping off the railing. And there are literal animals now in this household.

Yeah, then she's like, I just worry. Like if he gets into it with someone else, I'm gonna be party to that. And then it just cuts to Craig punching the shit out of the gay pride shit emoji pinnata. He's like, oh, it's all care, and he goes flying everywhere. I just love how so much of this first episode was where people being like, how are we going

to spend two weeks doing this? How are we going to live in a house for two weeks? Oh my God, it's going to be two weeks in this room. Wow, two weeks. Everything was worried about two freaking weeks. It's like the easiest time of like the easiest period of time of all time. Being on vacation. Oh my god. Well, that brings us to the end of a winter house. Thanks everyone for listening and thanks for supporting here on Patreon and we will catch you on the main feed. Bye everyone.

Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. Dana C. Dana Duh. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniella. Itchles. Aaron McNickles, she don't miss no trickles. Alvin Aguila Weber.

Jamie, she has no less namey. Sit some scotch with Jessica Trotch. Jess saying, okay. she's always supplying. It's Kelly Ryan. Christian the Piston Anderson. You're never alone with Lacey Montellan. Let's give a Kisarino to Lisa Lino. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.

Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. The Bay Area Betaches! Beaches! And our super premium sponsors? Always the wiser, it's Allison Weisler! Somebody get us 10ccs of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Better do what she says, it's Elva Enriquez!

Can't have a meal without the Emily signs. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. He says it's Elva Enriquez! Can't have a meal without the Emily signs! Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We will, we will, Joanna Rocklandu, my favorite Merto, Karen McMurdo. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. She's a good hobby, it's Lauren Hobgad. We want to hang with Liz Lang, the incredible edible Matthew sisters, Nancy Cicentasisto. Give him hell, Miss Noel. She's. Choose the Queen Bee at Sarah Lemke

Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Let's take off with Tamela Plane. Shate no shrinking violet coup d'art. We love you guys Hey prime members, you can listen to watch our crap and add free on Amazon music download the Amazon music app today You can listen to Watcher Crappens' ad-free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.