Watch What Crappens - Winter is Crappening: Smoke Gets in Your Eyes

Episode Date: May 13, 2019

It’s romance and utter carnage on the penultimate episode of Game of Thrones, all because of a little insecurity created by a single Starbucks cup. Find bonus episodes, our SHUT UP, BRAN! shirts, and live show dates and ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com and follow us on Insta @watchwhatcrappens and Twitter @whatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off, voice only. Launching during pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Winter is Crapening. I'm Ronnie Carram and that's been Madelker over there. Hi, B.M. Hi, how's it going?

I'm stressed out. Yeah. I want to binge eat. I'm going to eat my sadness. I want to kill people, but I never want to kill anybody. Like, I don't know. I have a lot of feelings going on over here, Ben. I have a lot of motions to mostly anger and frustration

We're probably gonna process these emotions over the course of the next hour or so on the show a lot taken from the penultimate episode of all time of Game of Thrones Yes, now if you want something shallower now this is pretty shallow now very sure you have never listened This is a pretty shallow take but if you want something shallower, then this is pretty shallow now very show you have never listened This is a pretty shallow take but if you want something even more shallow go listen to watch what crap is our other podcast Yeah, okay, Ben. So let's get into this shiz show me oh my goodness. Oh my god I feel like I feel like I'm I'm mad I'm mad at the show I'm not even at the show I feel like I've been, you know, like, well, for me, I only binge the show back, you know, in September. So I watched all at once. But especially for the people who spent, like,

was eight or nine years, so excited for Daenerys, who have been like, on her side, so excited for just rallying behind her, stuck with her through thick and thin, watch her walk through a desert, Rowling behind her stuck with her through thick and thin watch her walk through a desert watched several seasons of her to sort of like Liberating like cities and just sort of puttering around on the sides of the show and now it's her big moment And this is how she does it. This is this what she does to us. Well, look we all have a bad day. I know I know she's just got a bad day with the dragon. Yeah, you know, I mean, in Fried Green Tomatoes, Kathy Bates just, you know, ran her car to some pretty girls and turned into Twanda. You know, that was her bad day. Yeah. There have been very, very many bad recorded bad days. And the nearest just happened to have a huge killing machine, okay? That's true.

I mean, I think I probably would have been a lot happier to nurse were in the mid-size sedan and a parking lot instead, but you know. I guess a dragon, you know, I guess a dragon will do. Yeah, she was triggered. She was very triggered. Really annoying. She had some stuff leading up to it, Tsentrama, if you will. Then you can't trust your boyfriend. What do you get to do? You know, it's like the icing on the cake, it's the icing on the I'm gonna kill an entire species, an entire city full of people, an entire species. It's true. And you know, the thing is that Ron and I, you know, we are special to you know, is watching a crap on Bravo.

And if anyone should have been prepared for this, it should have been us because we know, you know, based on real housewives of antipromptu rules and everything, you know, one season you love someone and the next season they get a bad at it. And I guess I should have just known that the nearest is just having a bad edit the season. I should have just been prepared for it mentally. But on those shows the bad edit is like the second season end. We call it the bitch flower blooms in the second season. And this is like season eight. So, I was not expecting you. Usually the bitch flower does not bloom in season eight, you know? Yeah, usually the bad edit is because someone's gossiping too much

or not showing up at group activities. Not, oh, I just destroyed a million people in the city with a dragon that breathes fire. Well, one thing that they do have in common on those shows with these is, you know, they, they really become a bitch when they. The show is over for the season and they get a lot of followers on Instagram. Okay, Instagram was the real killer people on Bravo. And, you know, they didn't have Instagram back then, but they did have a lot of people cheering for you. And I think that the more and more people she got cheering for her, it's like, you know, boob. She's going to start getting a vacuum up to her lips to get big lips, like highly

generous, just like peeding with everybody. You know, it's the grammar room to you. So what I'm saying, well, basically what happened was after the battle of Winterfell, she clearly got verified, got the blue check mark. And then was like, Oh, oh, sweet. I could do anything. Like I am Daenerys Blue Checkmark. I'm just gonna burn up, I'm just gonna burn up King's Landing. Why not? Oh my God. And when she had to fill out the paperwork to get verified

and they're like, we need a picture of your driver's license. And it's like Daenerys Storm, Daenerys Stormborn. Mother of Dragons, keeper of pencils, rare revolves. Bigger of chains chains drinker of Starbucks We have to actually address that before we go in any further of bicycles Changer of batteries into my remote Before we get into that way two things we of course you know we we are very eager Podcasts and we sat down last week and just recorded our episode right after the show ended.

So we of course did not see this scandalous Starbucks cup that in the next episode. So we have to address the fact that yes, we saw it after the fact. We missed it and I have such shame, shame, shame about not seeing that copy cup in what it actually happened. So very sad that we about not seeing that copy cup in what it actually happened. So very sad that we did not cover that. But also something I do. Well, actually, I want to address that because I don't know why everybody's so shocked that there was a Starbucks cup.

We also learned last week that they invented wheelchairs on this show. So why are we so surprised that they invented Starbucks? That's true. There's a reason Starbucks lady looks like that. She's obviously for that time. And like we can suspend disbelief that there are dragons and magic and people can die and come back to life. And yet we can't suspend disbelief that someone at Winterfell decided to craft a little coffee cup. That just happens to look like a very modern coffee cup. It is possible. This is a world in which-

It's not possible. Yeah, this is a world in which people are named Daenerys, but they're also named Jamie Okay, there are modern touches. I mean, there's a Sam on this show. There's a Sam Yeah, it is totally possible that someone was bored and just like took some like canvas or whatever and wrapped it around a peg and was like Hey, coffee cup. I'm gonna introduce this at our big celebration tonight. Yeah, it's not like she was eating dip in dots. We come on guys. It was literally delicious. She probably was.

This is delicious cup of coffee. So the other thing that I really wanted to mention last week, that I didn't mention, but I think it, I feel good mentioning it this week because I feel like it should have still been, it still could have happened this week, which is last week when Daenerys loses a dry dragon because they go right to a king's landing and like, oh, we'll just do this. Why didn't like no one stop and say, hey, brand, could you do us a solids and should

not really do anything for us anyway, except staring at us? Could you like, worg into a raven or a bat or maybe like, a field mouse and see if there's like anything weird outside of King's landing before we go over there. Could you just do that for us? And I, your circus clown. Yeah, I would like to think that a friend would say something like that. Like I am not everywhere at once.

I mostly live in the past and it is not being your circus clown, Hong Kong. He'd probably not be a Hong Kong. He would probably, yeah, actually I can imagine as a circus clown because it would just be like 10 brands getting out of a little car and Hodor would be holding the door. Boo-yah! Get it, because Hodor, the driver, the car. Oh gosh.

No, not good. Not good. Not good. Not good. T-Soon. It's always T-Soon for Hodor. T-Soon. Yeah. Either way, a retroactive shut up brand for not helping out with a very simple task.

Yeah, how about Speak Up brand? Yeah. How about we're sorry for our t-shirts? Yeah. We're sorry we made t-shirts to say shut up brand. Instead, we should have said Speak Up brand. Speak your gift. How about brand and Aria both use our gifts?

Because we also sat through like a season. I don't think we can come up on Aria. I love Aria. This is more I'm mad at the writers because we sat through a season of her learning how to put on faces. So she finally graduates from Face Academy. She kills Walter Frey, which is great. Great like first thing. And now like it's been five episodes and she hasn't swapped faces with anyone this season and I'm getting furious. Well, guess what, Kate. She's not your clown either. She'll pull out her talent when she needs a goddammit.

Besides her face, her face wouldn't have done much in this episode. It would just be another face to watch people die in. She could have just done it for the novelty. She's like, hi, I'm Robert Coulay. I probably would have stopped this madness. People would have just stopped and she'd be like, hi, I'm Robert Coulet. Yeah, I was like, I probably would have stopped this madness, you know. People would have just stopped and she's like, who is that charming louncinger in the middle of King's Landing? She's just trying to calm people as they die with a better face.

She's like, hey, I love the idea that you're from the same place. If I never loved you, hey, is that Anjilian also? Anjilian. You know, she's just going to work away through the entire cast of its living. Shirley Ralph. This is Seinfeld comes out. Just sick comes out from that. I'm blessed to do with dragons, huh?

Gosh. Is that a teacher from head of the class? It's like the most useless people ever, but the thing is she has to kill those people to get their faces, right? That's so funny that she would like kill Robert Goulet just have some Robert Goulet is already dead, but Angelian, she would have to kill. Well, he wasn't dead back then. He was just starting out his singing career back then. I know. He was just, yeah, he was just trying to get a demo out to people back then. Yeah, he was still doing the cap race circuit back then. I know. He was just, yeah, he was just trying to get a demo out to people back then. Yeah, he was still doing the cap race circuit back then.

Anyway, so, is there any other important business that we have to handle before we dive into this crazy episode? No, let's do it. OK, so the episode opens up with Varra sitting at a desk, writing a letter, and he's writing a letter, basically informing people about who the true heir is, and he's clearly getting it ready for his little sparrows and little birds. So I already am very nervous.

He's basically radar-on-lining good there. And I have to say, I don't know why Varys would turn. This is the best coat he's ever had. Varys is a fierce queen, and he finally got a house to serve with a great coat. He should have just gone with it, but no. He's like, before I die, I'm showing off my penmanship. I'm going to get the most hits on my blog that I've ever had.

This is too because this is worth dying for, okay? Yeah, he is really going for it. The thing is that Varys in the past is really good about covering his tracks. He's on top of shit and he just really fumbled here for no good reason except that I guess maybe the writers just wanted him to fumble. But it was well no he didn't he it was no reason he the little girl. Okay so he's writing this letter and a little girl when if his little beds comes in and she looks terrified and she's like they're watching me so. And he's like of course they are it's their job. Now you it's like, of course they are.

It's their job. Now you never know when you're going to get rewarded. What did I teach you? Martha. As a Martha. She's like, the great time is the great time reward. He's like, that's it. Now go back to the kitchen. I'm like, stop giving her huge promises. Yes. Also, where did Martha come from? She just like was sitting on this island. This is, they're on an island. Like, how did Martha get on the island? How did Martha get there? Because child labor had not gone out of fashion yet. And you know what? Look how proud Martha was.

And that's all I'm saying. Your kids should have jobs. I feel like Martha. Does violence in the streets? Martha was not. I feel like Martha was, like, I feel like none of the children like this violence in the streets. Martha was not, I feel like Martha, like I feel like none of the children have ever complained to Varys before. They've always like, you just make them do things and they do it.

And she's the first one's like, I got to watch it mate. It's like, you know what Martha? And dead. Yeah, you know. He should have just spanked Martha and thrown her out the window, you know? So yeah, so that was the first thing.

So he knows he's caught, right? Because they're all looking for funny. And he also knows he's caught right because they're all looking for funny And he also knows he's caught basically the second he tells Tyrion mm-hmm, right well because I think is that then we see Tyrion Outside like looking off that's that's his big thing this season is sort of doing a subtle brand He like looks off as his bangs blow on his forehead and John snow is yeah, John snow is like landing on the beach and John Snow is like landing on the beach and so Varys goes to meet him. So he's having a whole conversation with John Snow suspiciously in public, so not a very Varys sort of thing to do. Yeah, Varys runs right up to John, like, I'm waiting for you.

Get over here. He's like, she is not eating, she won't talk. I mean, how do I get that discipline? I want a summer bod. And John Snow is like, she shouldn't be left alone cry face. Yeah. He's like, oh, that's so sweet. Okay. But every time a Targaryen drops a DNA bomb, the God's flip a coin. Okay. Is this one going to be nice? Or is she going to burn everyone alive? And John's like, whoa, Queen. Call me. Yeah. And then John's like, we're not much for riddles,

but I come from, you know what, stop gay bashing, John. Yeah. Like we get it, you are humorless. Okay, everyone from Winterfell is humorless. And you don't even like riddles. Can you just enjoy one riddle? Just like, enjoy one of Varys' riddles. Yeah, what the hell do you have on the back

of your cereal boxes in Winterfell? They have a maze that's just like a straight line. Like I did the maze again. It's like, this is the crap maze. That's why Bran is so dull. Please straight maze. Over there hate laughing. Like, ooh laughter. What you trying to be funny? I found a toy in my cereal box. I will dispose of it now, must have been an error. A child could have choked on this. Let me go back to eating my grain and grains.

So Various is like, look, your girlfriend's hot, but we both know what she's about to do, OK? And so they stare at each other with cry face and pensive face. Yeah. And it's like, well, that's her decision. She's our queen. OK, huge mistake, John.

Huge with your, I have to be honest at all times. Yeah, exactly. And Varys is basically like, well, you know what? You should be king. And John's like, I don't want it. I don't want it. I don't want to be king. You know what, John?

How many times? Like, you know, it's like, it's, you know, when I turned 16 and I was told, guess what? You can drive a car now. I was like, I don't want to drive a car because I like being driven around. But you know what though? At certain point, you know, when I turned 16 and I was told, guess what, you can drive a car now. I was like, I don't wanna drive a car because I like being driven around. But you know what though? At certain point, you gotta drive the car.

But I think John's one of those people at karaoke who sits right in the front road. He's like, I don't want to sing. I don't want to drive a ride. I don't want to drive a ride. Yeah. To get to you. Because he was on American Idol season four

and he almost made it to Hollywood or he made it through like the first round of Hollywood. But so everyone knows he has a good voice but he just didn't have the star power and so they know he can sing and he's sitting in the front row so like okay he's singing now's your chance he's like I don't want to and you're like we know you want to because you were on you applied on American Idol so do it yeah but you don't argue with people like that you just say okay then don't sing in the next second. He's like This starts getting up there singing some Alicia keys No, yeah, if it was modern day he'd sing that fucking lady Gaga song like everybody else

Is that what people are doing on karaoke now? Yes, I haven't been to karaoke since the movie came out. Oh. Oh. Let's talk with that one. She is my queen, no matter what. And these storms off with cry face. And the material stands on the cliff looking with his feeling sad face. Like, okay. Both of you, you're both about to lead to terrible destruction. Same on both of you for being such sensitive little pissies.

Yeah, you guys are about to like kick ass over and then and take back what is rightfully someone's. And you guys should be more excited. This is great. No, everything's cool, but instead you're just like all sad and emo. So then upstairs, Tyrion goes into the war room and Daenerys is like staring out a window. She's sad too. Well, but her dragon died and her best friend, so that makes a little bit more sense. So Tyrion's like, there's something you need to know, and she's like, someone has betrayed

me. I was like, okay. So he's like, yes, because John's no. And he goes, well, it was a virus. And she goes, well, he knows the truth about John, because you told him, and you learned from Sansa, and she learned from John. So it's John. I'm like, you guys are getting so wound up in this, losing sight of what needs to be done.

True, but you know, she also was like, John, don't admit who you really are, like John, you know, I know that you have dreams of being a karaoke star. You know, you need to stay here and rely on your plan, be if we're gonna have a family and she makes them give up everything. And then she wonders why he's like distant. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then accusing him of betraying her. Like, she's actually might have, she might have borderline personality disorder. She's very like, very prone to feeling victimized and entitled, which I'm actually not sure that's part of borderline personality disorder, but I'm gonna say back then there was. Yeah, well, you know, she basically isn't titled because she

thinks she's supposed to be the queen and it's hers. And she has been betrayed because he said he wouldn't tell anybody and then he fucking immediately told everybody. She made an unreasonable demand. Yeah, that wasn't unreasonable demand. But, you know, I don't know why I'm sticking up for her. She's basically Hitler now. So whatever. Yeah, exactly. And she's all mad about everything now. You know, she's like mad that Tyrion spoke to Varys first without asking for her permission and all this stuff. And Tyrion's like, it was my mistake. I apologize,

I apologize. But she's not happy about it. She's just like on a real power trip. Ever since you got verified. And she's, uh, so she's like, great. So what do you think that Sansa told you in the first place? What does she have to gain and he's like she trusts me? It's like yeah, she trusts you to spread a goddamn room or fool, okay? And that you destroy me and I'm your queen and you did not And he's like if I have to equate fuck have me and I'm like, you know, this sorry is getting really old Like I really like Terry and but from a human resources point of view mm-hmm Like when you've been in my office like 10 times because you

fucked up. Like why do I? Like you're not even getting a lollipop on your way out this time. I love that your human resources department has lollipops for people. Yeah. For people just leaving.

They're feeling totally fucked over. Yeah. Exactly. So but then I got hopeful because you know it's he you know he was did this whole thing of like we all believe in the same thing We all want a better world that is free of tyranny and we want people to live freely and under your rule etc. And then she's like well, it doesn't really matter now does it and I thought oh good we're moving past it And then she goes you know she goes back to her basically

I think that everyone's doing this season which is tearing out of Windows. It's a big Windows season, okay. So but I thought that she was over it, but clearly not. Well, the, you know, people, the techs and stuff I was texting and getting back during the show were friends who were like, are we supposedly suddenly that she's not? Like why are we, why have we been reading her for her this long? And then now we're supposed to suddenly believe that she turns. I think that the writers are doing their best to prepare us. This is the first time we've ever seen De Narris when she at least in two seasons, where she doesn't have like 10 layers of weave braids piled up on top of her head.

She actually has bad hair and no under eye concealer and I was like, she's gone. Well, my friends said that they've been slowly removing her makeup every episode of the season. And so it's like, they've been preparing, like, the crazier she gets, the worse her personal upkeep is, I guess. And, you know, I mean, I guess we've seen, like, glimmers of her power issues, you know, over the seasons. But I think it was more just like, oh, young naivete. She didn't really know, you know, when she was, went crazy, oh, young naivete. She didn't really know when she went crazy.

She'd locked up her dragons and the more she would kill people to aggressively. But I thought that was part of the learning process. And that's why I got mad again, because it's like, she's been such a good head on her shoulders sort of lady. And then all of a sudden, she's going nuts. It almost feels like she's going nuts because the writers decide they want her to go nuts, not because her character

would go nuts in this situation Well, I think they've been building up to it for a long time. I don't think it's really said and at least it's not said to me I totally believed that it was coming and especially when they killed Jora and then you know, Cersei beheaded her best friend I was like, no, well, yeah, we knew she was gonna get some fengus when she convinced herself that Johnson against her You know, so now she's like, okay, you know, if I'm gonna get this, the only way I'm gonna get it is slaughtering everybody. So here we go.

Yeah, I guess. Yeah. So we go over to Varys, who is now at Candle, riding by Candle Light. I mean, just beautiful calligraphy. You know, this is one thing blocking Kilt. It's just beautiful handwriting, you know? Like I can't even make a grocery list anymore

with my hand, I have to use my hand. Yeah, me too. My writing is absolutely terrible. It's just like a strange word. Thank you, it looks like a fresh thanks. Yeah, it's like someone attached a little pencil to the back of a fly and let the fly run over a paper. You know, it's like, it just is just like weird skittish lines.

Yeah, so he's writing a letter and he's like, Mac and Marco had her baby She named it Archie and then he hears the door open and he burns the note immediately because he knows what's coming So you and you know, it's like a it's like a chola about to fight outside taking off your rings and putting him in a cup Like I don't know if I'm coming back, but I still be from Claire's give them to somebody I know but then like why burn the note might as well leave the note for someone to discover. If the note is there to alert people, and you're gonna get killed anyway,

so might as well keep the note out, right? I guess, but then fucking Martha will get caught with it. That new... Oh yeah, Martha. He probably died from Martha if you really think about it. And Martha's like, hocking his rings like, Saka? Martha, we never see again, but she gets a full name.

Like, this girl there are people have been on the show who I guarantee you've been on multiple episodes and I never got a name and then Martha comes in with one line and gets a name Martha that lives on now in the lower probably someone's niece you know so they marched him down to the beach with torches and Terry and can't even look at him yeah but then he does go up to him and he's like it was me it's like you know what that line was already used right and much superior queen I'm kind of pissed off at you right now, okay? Don't be silly from Alina. Yeah, well, and also like

Like what like how he's about to die you want though you want his last emotion to be the betrayal of an old friend You did this for you to and you did not do this for Varus. Yeah, and friend. You did this for you, Tyrion. You did not do this for Varys. Yeah. And he just looks away. He can't look. And Varys is like, well, I hope I deserved it, bitch. Yeah, because you know, not one so by old friend. Yeah, he's super shady, super shady. And then Tyrion, like, touches him back by letting them burn his coat, because somebody else could have worn that fashion doesn't come easy.

Just burn it. You gotta die. You gotta go down with a ship. Okay? Yeah. You kill me. You're gonna kill my coat too. Okay? Yeah. It's beautiful, beautiful coat. Yeah. And by the way, Danny's like Lord Ferris. I Dinaris, House of Talk, Aryan, Breaker of Chains, Skater of boards. Typer on laptop. Drinker. Friends. Drinker of smalls, Frappuccino, no whip. Yoga tough frozen.

Who Jerry have been? And so then the dragon just creeps up her like my mom on Christmas Eve all drunk. I love you honey like I love you I'm breathing Benson in head just menthol In my 10 year old face while I'm pretending to be asleep Yes, yeah the dragon comes up out of the dark and then there's like a dracaris and the dragon goes and just burns him alive Which is also by the way a really inhumane to way to get rid of Varus like at least like do something like fast and painless I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not approve. I did not Yeah. Real bitch dragon moves. Like, geez.

This dragon takes shit personally. Yeah, I did not approve of any of this. Varys is one of my favorite characters. I did not like seeing him die. Also, I thought he was supposed to die in Westeros, which I guess the island is in part of Westeros by sort of thought it'd be more like on the mainland. He didn't deserve to die on like an island.

I felt like he was more like a, he should've died on the land with the people who he wanted to save or Serve, you know, so then and then to make matters worse. You know what I hated about the most So after they burn various alive John snow then looks sort of like watches and his eyes Grow big like wait a second That wasn't nice. I know, he's catching on so quickly. Like you just heard what Veris told you. Yeah, and he still doesn't really fully believe it either.

He's like, huh. She might be crazy. I think this, is this a red flag? I'm not sure. Let me ask Veris. Oh wait, damn it. He's dead. And I have to give Varys credit because the the

everybody makes dick jokes Varys you know the writer all the characters have just mocked him forever but I have to say he died the manliest death out of anybody he's the first person on this show for sure who's ever burned by fire and didn't scream hmm he's the only person that's ever stayed quiet so thank you for that at least writers wow I did not know I did not notice that Well, did Syrien's cry at this you probably screamed yeah. Oh hell yeah. They all scream. I mean you're being burned alive There's no way to not scream But they gave him the most silent dragon death I've ever seen and then yeah Johnny's like oh my god

Have I chosen wrong? Yes, you chose wrong. Okay. You don't date someone for three weeks and then fucking get married to them. You know, and she's your aunt, by the way. Like you've been sleeping with your aunt and she's you've not only have you been sleeping with your aunt when you found out it was your aunt. She still wanted to like get that D. Like she's crazy. Okay. Like what? I might want to know with hot family members like I'm so not offended So then we go over to Danny sitting in front of a fire looking at the collar that was Miss on days me Sundays. Yeah, and she's like this is what she brought with her when she crossed the narrow sea how only possession You can keep it great. We're I'm on a you know Maybe you should think more about how you're treating your employees.

Yeah. Me and my gray worm is sitting there trying not to cry. Like, could you like maybe like, they were in love. Could you like give him some space? Like, yeah. Here's her dog collar. Have fun. Yeah. So of course, he probably throws it in the fire.

Good for him. Cause he's like, no, no, this is like she hated this thing. You're gonna give it to me like it's special. This was her bondage. Why are you giving this to me? Why did you, why did you keep it? What did, no, no. I know I brought me up here to talk about her benefits that I might be receiving. That would be nice. Hey, how about if I got her, you know, something to live off of?

Yeah, how about, um, I thought you were calling me up here because you're finally gonna eat something. You know, that's the real, that's a real problem. She's hungry. There, it all makes sense. She hasn't eaten anything in like days. I know what I'm like. I haven't eaten anything in a few hours honestly. In about 10 minutes, I'm just going to bitch out Ronnie for no reason.

Well, no, we know why there is a reason you've just told us and it all ends over a ham sandwich. It's true. So much of yours, Dinarious just needs a ham sandwich. Okay. That would have probably solved a lot of issues It's true. So much of yours, Daenerys just needs a ham sandwich. Okay, that would have probably solved a lot of issues in this episode. So John comes in and. Well, great worm. Great worm really. He, he, I'm a little over great worm right now. I'm like, Matt, I'm mad at my favorite characters right now. And my favorite characters, I'm not mad at have, have died actually. So there. Yeah.

So John comes in and Danny's like, Oh, it's okay, great. We're let us be. So he leaves. And John just, they just stand there staring at each other. And she's like, what did I say? What happened if you told your fucking sister that you're really the king of all of the realms yeah, yeah He's like, but I don't want it. That was a point. I was just telling him that I don't want it Yeah, and she and then so she's all like well now now she knows. Now Sansa knows what happens when people hear the truth about you, okay? Like that's the deal, because the truth is,

more people love you than they love me, and I don't have love here, I only have fear. It's like, I mean, like at this point, just like pick up a guitar and join the little o'fathest festival, okay? No kidding, she's picking up a guitar. She only knows like G-E-N-A, but she doesn't care. She's gonna go on the road anyway.

Like she's got that kind of attitude right now. She's gonna like, she's gonna be like the next coming up, like, jewel or something, you know. She'll have a whole story about like how her brother was killed and everything, but then the more you learn about it, it's like you don't live in a van. You didn't really live in a van. I lived in a van.

We're like, wait a second, Teneris. No, Teneris. You literally control like a whole continent over there, by the way. Yeah. So she's like, yeah, I only have fear and he's like, I love you. You'll always be my queen. I said, is that all I have to you? And then she tries to do that, like, you know, sucky, sucky, five dollar kind of thing to

him, but he's fallen for this before. And he can't get a boner. So he's just like kind of trying about then he stops and she's like, a fine. Yeah. Let it beat. Yeah. And I'm like, okay, now you're going to slaughter people because John has to

get a lot of spray fair. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Mrs. Robinson. And then by the way, when she goes like, is that all I am to your queen? That's a lot, by the way.

That's like a huge amount, especially when there are a lot of people who don't accept you as a queen Okay, especially when you also just killed our favorite queen verse, okay? So when you say is that all I am to your queen you should say oh in that case. Thank you Let me have that handstand He failed because she can tell that he doesn't even like he's he he's not he's distant basically Well, he doesn't want to keep with his aunt. He's just distant. Okay, so yeah She knows that she's gonna lose this one because he will win, you know, and you know If she's got another various has already, you know radar in line to the whole

Country, I don't even know what she knows anymore at this point. She is like reading her own fact She's reading info wars at this point. Okay, like she doesn't like she's pulling things out of out of thin air She's like I will not stand by while frogs are turned gay I will not sit here while Cersei runs a sex ring out of a pizza ria It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial." Hello, Fresh makes conquering the kitchen a reality with deliciously simple recipes. Yeah, maybe if Daenerys had a Hello Fresh box, she might have taken over King's Landing in a much more polite fashion, okay? Because then she wouldn't have been hungry. She could have been cooking with some fresh pre-measured ingredients and easy to follow, six step pictured recipe cards that are delivered to her door or your door each week in a

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That's $20 off a suitcase. Go to awaytravel.com slash crappin'ing and use the promo code crappin'ing during checkout. So then she's in the throne room and Tyrion's like, hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!

I just wanted to have another chat. Just casual chat after you murdered my best friend, and it was kind of all my thoughts. So you're not gonna murder all the people of King's Landing, Ryan. Because you know, like your entire character for the past, like, seven seasons is that you always protect the innocent people.

So if you stop protecting the innocent people now, it would be a massive betrayal to the innocent people in the audience, right? And she's like, but he's like, they're just like the ones you liberated in Marine. And she's like, um, Marine, the slaves turned on the masters and liberated the cities themselves. Yes, true. But you did give them a speech first. So we'll do it. At least try and give a speech first. Maybe sing a song this time with your GE and a chords. Yeah, exactly. Maybe a song about like, who will save

your soul? It's thematically appropriate for what you're trying to do. Well, I'll speak to the show gave her the perfect, the perfect way to win this. Introduce Starbucks to the world. Right. Everyone will fall to your feet. Okay. These people will turn on, on Cersei if they get one taste of a frappuccino. Meanwhile, cut to brand holding that Starbucks cup and just saying to himself,

if only she knew this cup were the key to survival Oh, well tell her Bran tell her. Oh, you know it's me Starbucks want to make it back into the real world for hundreds of years Thanks to what happened to you today. It's a like crumpled up and throwing that little pond next to the tree Yeah, and he's like their hostages. So I guess they all hostages in the time of the script who's fault is that mine? Like who are you right now? Yeah, what is this? Their host that there's literally hostages like what like huh? Like who like huh? Like why are you not I don't I can't?

Well my guess at this point is just that she feels like she's been betrayed by everybody. Because she already talked to Various before she talked to her. She can't trust him. She can't trust John. She's, Laura's dead. It's like the only one she can trust is Greyworm and he's throwing dog collars in finance. We know that she can't trust anyone because she's trying to do crazy shit. And so finally people are like, well, we can't trust you. So we gotta talk amongst ourselves, okay? Because you're being the crazy one.

She should watch Survivor. She would understand how it goes, okay? So now she's like all mad. And you know, she's like, you know what? Cersei is trying to exploit like my, like, she's trying to exploit me. She's trying to exploit what she thinks is my weakness because she thinks that mercy is my weakness. But guess what?

It's my strength. Well, you know what, that's good that mercy is your strength, but like show mercy these people you can't blame the victim She's saying she's showing mercy to future generations because they'll never again Be held down by a tyrant. Yeah, I just burned alive by a crazy dragon in the skies. Yeah She's like laughing the Ansalez. But so she's thought was about in her if they think the wars lost. It's a city surrenders. They will ring the bells. If you hear the bells, please call off the attack. And she's just like it's a little big long pause. Then she gives him a nod. Yeah. And I'm so

scared. Oh my god. But then just when... I'm just scared. Yeah, well, and just when Tyrion thinks like, okay, everything's calm, then Tyrion's like walking out like, okay, this conversation's clearly over, so I'm going to walk out the room as most people do when a conversation's over. And just as he's about to hit the door, she's like, your brother was stopped trying to get past our lines. It seems like he hasn't abandoned your sister after all.

She's like all mad because like she's mad because Jamie's like that doesn't mean anything, you know, like he has a child, okay? And they're in such a crazy anyway. A little dead man, something, but like she's caring, I mean, she's, it's hard for me to know whether I'm on her side at this point, you know. And then she goes, the next time you fail fail me will be the last time you fail me and I'll say okay she's officially nuts. Yeah exactly now get me a mocha frappuccino venti with a chocolate chip cookie warmed up please. I would like a banana nut bread wrapped in the plastic it came in, please. Exactly what part of a Machiato order is a cold iced tea.

I've heard that you've changed your point reward system. I shall burn down the Starbucks. I, Daenerys Stormborn, Breco of Chains, first of my name, last of my name, something of my name. Why is it that my recent purchase of a chocolate croissant in your store on Westeros did not qualify for me to have Starbucks Bingo answer me that. Or at least press one. Oh, press bandmit. Press two. So over at King's Landing, poor people are still coming in the gates. That's exactly what I wrote. I said poor people are coming into the gates. They're just feeling as many poor people as they can through that.

All the extras of Bulgaria were heading through the set. And Tyrion and John both have sat face on the sea with the army. And Davos is greeting them as they come as they come onto the camp or whatever. And he's like, oh right, welcome, you built the car. This is going to go well. Everybody loves the queen party. No, I'm cheering. It's like, please go smuggle my brother. Okay. Yeah. Basically, so then everything I can get killed by a Daenerys, where this is all sudden. Also, she doesn't realize it. She still has like 450 points left on her starbucks thing.

And I think we should really redeem it now because honestly, we may not got another chance. Okay, I think she's going to change her password. Her phone has face ID. So we are not letting her die until we have those points. It's Starbucks happy hour and like two hours. So let's just like get our two for one and just get out So um, it's nice. So now it's nighttime and so the hound and aria they arrive at the camp at like the the like the northern army camp

After playing like 26 hours of slug bug on the way there What a joyful ride those two must have it's like when they actually when they see like a real-life bug they punch each other on the shoulders There's a mouth Why can't I ever see the bugs literally everywhere you stupid idiot So let's see so they're having small talk, you know, and they passed the one of the guards and he's like having small talk, you know, and they pass the one of the guards and he's like, I knew you that. Everyone who's not a lead is like an extra from Oliver twist. I'm I a stock. I'm going to kill Cersei. Thanks. And he's like, I think I need to talk for my captain. Yeah, I like he is very concerned about rules and regulations.

So they just ride right past his ass. Yeah, because they have like a hello. If she stops He is very concerned about rules and regulations. So they just ride right past his ass. Because they have, it's like, hello. If she stops thirsty, she stops the war. Might want to let this happen. And I'm 70 tall. And I have like burns on my face. Like, be intimidated.

So then Terry in approach is the guards outside a tent. And he's like, I want to eat the schoolkeeper. Because he's like speaking in like the unsealed tongue and he's like, Booka tika puto it goes, I want to eat the skullkeeper. I mean, I want to see that I want to I want to the guards like, shut up. He's like, we speak English. Okay. What would you like for your order? Tyrion's like the guy who goes into a Taco Bell and tries to pretend he's fluent

Know what he's like. It's like I don't know if you ever watch the amazing race, but there's there this is Tulsa, okay It's like an amazing race every time the the racers get into a taxi in a foreign country They go rapido rapido rapido. They could be in Italy. They could be in Japan. They just go rapido rapido rapido It's like that not that only applies to one language And then the the driver no matter what language it is, they all say the same thing. Fucking Americans. Fucking Americans. Jesus Christ.

Fucking Americans. Uh, so Jamie is in his second favorite position. Actually, it's probably his favorite position, which is change to a post, which he spent most of the series, I feel like being as, I'm getting lost in my proposition. Certainly a lot of it. So, Jerry, it's like, how did they find you this time? And he just lifts his gold hand. Did you consider taking that off maybe?

It's like a gorgeous hand. Gorgeous, like a gorgeous shining hand that you can like glow in the dark. And he's like, well, I've been told I'm the dumbest of all the Lannisters. I don't remember who told me that've been told I'm the dumbest of all the lannisters. I don't remember who told me that again, because I'm the dumbest of all the lannisters. So Tyrion's like, so you're going to go back and die with your sister seriously. And he's like, she's not been

underestimated before a brother. She's going to die, okay, compared to the change of course of action. Coffee is coming to Kingsland. He's like, listen, here's what you have to do. Okay, you know what that like crazy room with the dragon skulls? So go find her, take her down there, and there's gonna be a, go through like a little hallway,

and there's gonna be a boat, okay, and we're gonna save you. And then once you're out of there, tell them to ring them bells, okay? So basically escape, and then you better ring them. Bells, you to ring them bells, okay? So basically escape and then you better ring them bells. Yada ring them bells. So Jamie's like, okay, and he's like, but please remember if they hear the bells ring

or when she gives up ring the bells, be sure ring the bells. By the way, that song ring them bells, it is about a woman who leaves her apartment in New York City and travels the world for love and meets a guy in Dubrovnik, Croatia, and turns out he's her next-door neighbor and the more of the story is that you've got to get into your hallway and ring the bells. But you know what's funny? Is Dubrovnik, Croatia? Do you know what that is?

That's where they film King's Landing It all comes together in a beautiful musical comedy way with Liza Manelli. That is the gayest solving of a mystery of This show you know what this episode needs it, okay? This episode needs Liza Manelli to come on out Maybe it's Arya Stark. It's Arya Stark. Wait a second. That's Arya Starry a Stark. It's Arya Stark. Yeah, wait a second. That's Arya. Pull off her head. Pull off her face. Liza Mnelli goes kills the Night King. She should, you know, she should have gotten into Liza Mnelli costume. Several episodes so to go and just done whatever she's she's been doing. Just be Liza Mnelli the whole time.

She probably would have just. I'm sorry, I'm not kidding. I have to do this to you. Yeah, what a what a swell god, but he's dead now We worked together want Tyrion has a really nice moment. We're the worst I'm so sorry for all the nice All the straight men who decided to name like you know what I never get to listen to water crap ends But now they're gonna show for straight man, so I'm gonna listen During fan fiction of Arya has Liza Menele, killing the night king. Well you're never too straight to learn who Liza Menele is. So Tyrion is like, I just wanted to thank you, you're the only one who's never treated me like a monster. And then they have their last dance. Very, yeah, it's very dramatic.

I mean, it's like, so it's actually like very soap dishy. I mean, he's like tens of thousands of innocent lives. And because the whole thing is that like, Jamie's like, but like if this happens, Daenerys is gonna kill you because you're gonna let me go and let Cersei go. She's gonna kill you and he's like, well, tens of thousands of innocent lives and one so innocent dwarf seems like a fair trade.

It weren't for you, I wouldn't have survived my childhood. You're the only one who didn't treat me like a monster. You're all I ever had. You're all I ever wanted. I'm like, okay, you're turning into a sling Dion song, sir. Yeah, but I felt it. I know it was nice. I was I was feeling it at the time, right now I have ring them bells in my ads So James like okay, I'm gonna you know go be with a woman who tried to murder you like 17 times okay See you later little one so he goes off and Tyrion It goes up to John and Abbas and he's like, If you hear the bell's ring, they've surrendered.

It means... Remember, if you hear the bells ring the bells, you got to ring them bells. You got to... Oh my, they're key. They're a friend. So my personal queen, Sissy. Sissy, my personal key. So, for a frame. So, my personal queen, Sissy. Sissy.

My personal queen, Sissy. It's like a different show. Sissy, my first one. I really can't believe Sissy. I don't know what I was thinking. I love the Sissy's basic. Sissy's basic comes on the screen. She's reviving Curie.

It doesn't make any sense, but we're into it. Yeah. So, she's looking over the city and her red velvet, and a little smile on her face. I love her little smile. She's like, can't wait to win. Yes. She looks like she just finished watching

a season of Great British Bake Off. She's like, I think I'd like to try my hand at a pie now. Totally. She's the first and he just bought a kitchen eight mixer after two episodes of that show. She's like, I think this could be a new hobby of mine, yes. She hasn't opened the oven to see that her macarons have been eaten. I would, I find it made the perfect macaroon.

I would love to see her on that show. Just all these like British, like, people from the countryside, you know, because it's always like, is a count, my account auditor at a local school and in spare time he likes making croissants and then he just sees Cersei. Cersei is a tyrant from Westeros and in a spare time when she's not killing people, she enjoys a cookie. So then we could down to the hound and Aria pushing their way through people to get through the gates right into last minute before they close and we see a mother and her child. Yeah, we know that this is going to be important because we see this mother like a zillion times. Oh my god. She doesn't even get a name. The mother doesn't get a name I know she was not related to anybody.

And her kids playing with a toy car. Did you know that the game was playing with a toy car horse or no, it was a horse. It was probably I made it as a horse. But I was like, this feels a little anachronistic. Okay, as long as we're talking about Starbucks coffee cup, I mean, my eyes are like ready for everything. I was like, wait a second. That clothing could not have been manufactured before it's 1733. It's a game boy. We're like wait a second. Is that an Nintendo Switch?

So the mom, people start trampling and the mom gets her kid out of the way and stuff. And then Jamie gets left out too, so he's got to find another way in. Yeah, and by the way, something that cracked me up is, okay, first of all, Jamie, who just got apprehended because they could see his hand. He is like in the middle of King's Landing and he just like takes off his glove to be like, he has my hand. I'm like, sir, that's not how you stay undercover. You just got it.

I can tell if he was showing that to them so they would know who he is and let him go. You know, you're right. I gotta wear a war so we'll let you back or something. I don't know. You're probably right. I'm the dumb one here. But I will continue to be mad because I love how the hound in aria are like trying to like blend in but they're wearing this like dark hood these dark

hoods and he's like seven feet tall it's like it's like not blending in at all as I good try I swear good try yeah so then we see on the ship you're on you're on stop spacing and he looks up in the sky and never it's just silent as everyone's wondering what the hell but you're on, you're on, stop spacing and he looks up in the sky. And everyone's just silent. As everyone's wondering what the hell, but you kind of hear a dragon and then boom, here comes the dragon. Yeah. Now it turns out that all,

sir, all Danny really needed this whole time was to kind of maneuver a little bit to miss every single arrow that's ever. Yeah. How would he get? Turns out that the two dragons been shot down so easily. Now she's missing like the arrows from 10 scorpions. Yeah, also by the way, um,

Why not do this at night when they can't even see you so they can't shoot arrows at you. How about that? Oh, good. How about how about let brand wargan to the I mean, I just feel like I agree. I was like, oh, so now it's okay. Like now now you can kill everyone but like you couldn't before I Really bothered me but really awesome man. I love watching those dragons bring it It was really nice. It was a real it was a real good like return just rips into every ship and urine does his like overacting thing I'll ever like Oh Like he got so many cartoon faces

By the way, can we also give a shout out to the horses on this episode? I mean, they're, you know, we always talk about bangs. The horse bangs on this episode were really just like, they were just perfect. They just really cascading down. They were just laid. They were just like beautiful horse bangs. Yeah, well points to the stable queens of the tourists. Yeah, they really, they really killed it. So they keep trying to shoot, you it so they keep trying to shoot you know

They keep trying to shoot the scorpions, but they keep missing and she just kills everybody. Yeah amazing This is the best part of the show for me. This was the best racking girl the drag it was like classic drag and action It was fun. It was thrilling. It was just like undeniable But it was at the same time like well, why didn't she do this last episode? Could they have maybe done that? I don't know. So, there's all this stuff. And it's like not just that like she's taking out boats, she's just taking out all the scorpions, which are like the, those like the, the crossbow type things. She's taking all of those out, she's knocking over walls, and then there's like this scene where like, and that's all happening on like one side of the city. And then on the other side of the city where like the northern army is and the cavalry and all that you have I believe they're called the golden army or something like that the guys who come from yeah they came from like the

rich city and so they are just like they're like the company the golden company thank you I knew the gold army didn't sound right so they're like ready to like attack but they're like not yet because they're still having like a stare off and then all of a sudden, there's a rumble, and then the wall, just explodes and fire and the dragon just bursts through. It's like total dragon porn. It was great. Yeah, it's awesome.

So then there's a guy on the horse who's been standing there in the standoff. And he's the feature to be dead extra. And he's still alive. And he sees the Dothraki charging and he just starts the featured about to be dead extra and he's still alive And he sees the Dothraki charging and he just starts running like hell away from them Which is not gonna work and then he's happy with my grey worm. Yeah, very very angry little grey worm Yeah, even the grey worm is supposed to be at the front of the pack, but he somehow is in the middle of the pack It's okay. Yeah, so then the dragon just takes off all the balconies where all the scorpions are and stuff and then it comes to the courtyard and we're like oh Jesus now there's

civilians Yeah, raise the courtyard Just bring everything, you know, yeah, we're still like There were weapons where she was shooting before yeah, it's the it's the cost of war it happens But now and then now we see Cersei watching. So now Cersei's smile has gone from, I just finished watching Great British Bake Off to, I can't believe my DVR did not record the latest episode of Survivor.

She's like, I cannot believe that. And then I went on to Facebook and someone spoiled it. Totally. So she's watching the dragon and then we cut Deteria and he's walking amongst the dead. And this is the thing, Cuber and Cubsan are chyber and any, she's like, Cuber and,

that's how you spell it. That's not how you say it, chyber comes in and he's like, oh Grace, she's like, oh, we need this one good shot. He's like, yeah, about that. The scorpions have been destroyed.

She's like, well, oh, not to worry. The iron fleet told Blackwater Bay, he's like well, not to worry. The Iron Fleet told Blackwater Bay to yeah, it's not quite working. All right, well our men will fight harder than anyone else. And the red keepers never fall in. We have Starbucks. They do too, actually. We've just brought a pizza coffee into the town surely no We have the coffee been in tealy people like that more than Starbucks, right? So he's like yeah, we're gonna need to go now

Gray worm is downstairs fighting Yeah, yeah, Gray worm is downstairs fighting And so the army is just marching through the castle stabbing randos who are still alive and then they get to a standoff with the remaining Red army and they're just all staring in the garden Mm-hmm, and so it's like yeah, the army just starts dropping all their swords Well, well, it's not what's not just. It's like there's like this moment where, like, John's army comes face to face with the last of like the red guard, and they're just like staring, and it's like, is this gonna be a blood bath?

Because no one wants a blood bath. Who's gonna, like, will these people surrender? Will they not surrender? They're like this moment of like suspense, and then, like, Cersei hasn't even left yet. She's still like on her balcony. She's like still like holding on and she's like She's holding up like she's Cersei spends a lot of time with like where what we watch like tears like coming to her eyeballs But not actually dropping it. They're just getting wetter and wetter and she starts like

she's like She's just kind of like staring down the nearest. It's like this big like like the nearest is across the city Cersei's there in a balcony. Tyrionions waiting for the bells people are like, you know Really on edge like is this gonna happen? Well they surrender and everyone and so people start yelling different down there like it's clear that like the dragon is like really powerful So people down the starts going like rain the bells you got a got a ring that bells! You got a ring that bells! But like nothing's happening yet. So you're like,

this Cersei gonna like cave, what's gonna happen? And then, Plink! Everyone starts dropping their swords at one time in the Red Army, and then you see, the sound travels up to Cersei, and she's just watching all her ships burning, and all her town, you know, everybody dead. And she thinks

this is it, like she's been defeated. And Jamie's still running through the town trying to get to his system, people are getting ring the bell. And then Danny is just sitting there on her dragon, you know, sitting on one of sitting on a building, just staring at the castle and Cersei staring at her and Danny is just like and people are still screaming ring the bell and then the bell rings and John has like a sci-face. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. And then Cersei closes her eyes like I've been defeated by times still alive and then she and then to narris is freaking out she's having like a sob face up there. Like, yeah, she's like angry, she doesn't know what to do. Like she's clearly one, the surrendering, but so then she's like, you know what? Fuck it. So she just goes to her drag and just starts flying across the city. So my mind I'm thinking, oh this bitch, okay, she's not like, this is sort of mean, but she's probably just gonna go directly to Cersei and take out Cersei. But no, she's like, I'm gonna take my time and I'm thinking, oh, this bitch, okay, she's not like, this is sort of mean, but she's probably just gonna go directly to Cersei and take out Cersei.

But no, she's like, I'm gonna take my time and I'm gonna go swear I've left to right and just blow everything up in my path. And it's just like full on destruction. Yeah, it was insane. I mean, this part of the episode lasted like over 30 minutes. It was 30 minutes. It's a dragon taking down the city.

Yeah, it was actually, it got a little tiresome. I think I only needed about like two minutes worth and I would have gotten the point. Like, how many times I have to watch all these like villagers or city folk go running around and then things fall. Running around and things fall. Then flames and running around and things fall. You know, it was like over and over and over again.

I was like, can brand like war again to this dragon and like send it out to see just like to stop this? This is going on too long. Where is Bran? What is Bran doing right now? He's just sitting around not wargging into anything Yeah, it's like still his turn at Scrabble and Sons is just staring at him like are you ever gonna go and he's like Hold on. I'll be right back Where'd you work off to this time Bran in case three hours later and he's like? I've seen coffee. It's like that's it.

Oh, you know, he probably wargs to cheat and scrabble. He's probably, he sounds a little down, and she's like, what? Why did I use the X-I? X-I? I was gonna write exclude. Why did I do that? Did you warg into me?

Maybe. Uh... She's like, wait a second. Why is that kick me in my written on my forehead in choppy? Did you walk into me again, man? Wait a second. Why does my word and right before the triple letter score? So let's see. John's race to get the soldiers to go back but they don't listen to him. Well, because Greyworm seems to be our pin somebody again. Yeah, because this is all from Missande by the way. So he's angry and he basically is like, he sees the dragon still going.

So he's like, I'm going to go. So he goes and starts harpooning. And then what could have been a relatively bloodless Takeover just turns into pure mayhem and John's face goes from side face to like but but but but face Like but but but but but but but but no Yeah, I've made the wrong choice Yeah, and then he tries to stop the soldiers. Like, stop it. But then, Greg, we're in like, turn, turn, look, sit in.

Like, oh, I'm remembering this. And I'm telling Danny when we're done. I'm telling. He's like, I say two words a day, and they're going to be about you, bitch. So, yeah, Danny is just on a tear. And there's women and children dying all around them. And stuff.

Yes. And then he sees John sees a soldier who's taking a woman off to rape him. You know, you've got to head it to like men. It's like, now you're going to rape somebody. Like, the whole city is in war in Mayhem. And this is what you're thinking of. Come on.

Yeah. Well, I thought he was supposed to be on. I don't think he was actually trying to rape her because he's unsolid. So I don't think that's really like a motivation. But he's still being a jerk. Still a man. I'm not so lead, was he? I don't even know. I'm so out of the Winterfell, guys. At this point, I don't think that's really like a motivation, but he's still being a jerk. Still a man I'm so lead was he I don't even know the Winterfell guys at this point. I don't even know all I know is that everyone is out of control and

Everyone's being obnoxious and John is totally powerless and I'm wondering is Daenerys maybe doing this because she's afraid that John's gonna Get all the credit instead of her. I don't know, but um, she's just she's she's mad and Cersei, they come back to Cersei, who now almost looks happy because I think Cersei realizes that she has claimed the higher moral ground. And so she's actually happy again for a second. Oh, she looks scared. I just wrote this bitch finally looks scared. Oh, well, maybe being scared is her happy place. Yeah, you never know with Cersei.

Cersei is like very happy when she's sobbing. Yeah. Look at me feeling things. Oh, this is nice. Yeah. So then Jamie finally is down by the dinghy and he's gonna go in the entrance that the secret entrance that his brother told him about and Youron comes out of the water and he's like He like comes tap dancing out of the water like the WB frog from the old days. He's got a top hat and everything.

He's like, Kingslayer. I was like, oh, this guy is so annoying. So he's the worst. He's like not like a, he's not like a, he's not like bad in the way we want our villains. He's just annoying. He came out of nowhere. Like his character was just like dropped into the story. Like, oh, guess what. He's just annoying. He came out of nowhere. Like his character was just like dropped into the story.

Like, oh, guess what, there's another one. There's another great joy. And he's a dick. So he basically is like, oh, so you're the king slayer. Well, guess what? If you kill me, then you'll have two kings that you've killed. Because I slept with your sister, and I'm gonna be king now.

So you follow my logic Kingslayer That's not really how it works. Yeah, I fucked her. I'm the king like no It takes some paperwork and some some talks gonna take some long talks But um he starts a big sword fight He starts a big sword fight. Now look at him. Come on man, let's fight women. She fucking doucheers. Yeah, meanwhile, the castle's falling apart

because the dragon's like bombarding it. So now like they're finally gonna take to a someplace safer. So we're going back and forth between castle crumbling and these douchebags fighting it out down on this stupid dirt beach. Yeah, and you're on finally grabs a dagger and stabs JB the side.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I will somehow manage to tap down again. Yeah. So then, uh, Kyber and Cycris, it isn't safe here. It's like, truly in the living room. It's like, what about that, mom? It's like, damn it.

Hi, perhaps I go to a different balcony. Surely one of these balconies must be safe It's like Cersei you gotta stop standing in balconies, okay? Yeah, balconies are not your friend right now Yeah, so everything's crumbling around them and they wildfires are explode in the across the city now So now everything's we're gonna even worse. Yeah, so then we cut back to you're on and Jamie and he's like you fought well for a cripple and Jamie's dying but he goes for the sword anyway and then it's more fighting, fighting, fighting and you're on stabs him again and then Jamie impels him. Yeah Jamie just like get some right in the middle and then just like and then like leaves and then Yoron is like like on the ban who killed Jamie Lannister

which is actually winds up being false so like just slow your roll you're on enjoy dying there on a rock his final words are so funny because they're so him he's like I got you I got you I did it so then Arya and the hound are now in this courtyard they're standing over the map of

uh... west arouse which is also the same map that Ned and Ned Stark and Cersei stood over when they had that famous scene where she was like, when you play the Game of Thrones, you play to win otherwise you die, whatever it was that she said. But it's like where the name of the show came from, it was a very pivotal scene. It's also like right before he the show came from. It was a very pivotal scene. It's also right before he got thrown in jail, et cetera, et cetera. It was a call back to that, especially because the Hound and Arya sort of, there's a vague similarity, but either way, but now it's a cracking. It's symbolic, because now there's cracks running through the map of the country that

they're in. I'm looking at pictures of that. Yeah. I thought they were outside somewhere when you said that. But I think that map is outside. Oh, it's like a report yard. I thought they were outside. I'm just looking to see.

Am I doing false information? I apologize. I don't know. I'm pretty sure that map is outside. This recap always makes me Google things. Yeah. I remember them being outside in the gardens. They were, but I thought the map is an but I thought I thought the map is an outside

Map I thought the map is an outdoors. It's an out. It's a landscape feature Like you go outside to the garden and there's a lot I see it a lot I mean, they're definitely like outside. You're probably right. You're probably right because you you rewashed the series more recently than I did I rewatch it like Five months ago, and you're just doing to remember I'm like, but I remember a weird house plant But I remember the thing outside also, but I also seem to remember them walking on the map Is it possible there was a plant in the courtyard? Something this will give people something to come into back. I know We're just gonna get a million tags. Oh

God why do it, every week, some stupid thing. The dragon is still flat. It's like every time I look at my notes, it's like dragon. Right, I heard her in this women's dragon. It's like going on. It's always like a 10 minute interlude of like let's watch the dragon destroy something. It was like watching Black Hawk down all over again and I hated that movie because it was just nothing but this.

It's like, so the Hound in Aria are in that the map room and the Hound is like, go out and go out! Don't let it die here! No, I'm gonna kill him! My daddy don't discuss him! You're gonna pay! Oh, look at me! I've wanted to prevent my whole life, not look at my face. You want to look like me? It's like Jesus Christ. If you had said that from the beginning, I would have gone to college. I know. By the way, if you do die, can I use your face just to scare people?

Because I'm really good at that. So, um... So, um, it finally gets through to her. You know, it's like those fear buses that Jerry... She's scared to talk so where they were scared that the teenagers would be. Yeah. She's been a day in Juve and now she's like those fear buses that Jerry, she's scared to talk so where they were scared that the teenagers would be happy. She's been a day in Juve and now she's like, I'm sorry. Sandor, thank you.

I'll never do it again. So she decides to leave and he goes to find his brother. Yes, so now Cersei's being evacuated and she's like, they're going down a staircase. Cersei's with Kaiburn and the mountain and a whole bunch of people and then the ceiling starts to fall and the mountain Like of course like stands over Cersei and Kaiburn and like shields them and everyone else just dies So then by that once the ceiling is done caving in they're on this the staircase and by the way This is all very much like legend of Zelda like when you beat gas

There's always like a two-tier Gannon fight, and the first one is like normal Gannon, and then you kill him, and then the castle crumbles. Yeah, the big bosses, yeah. Right, this is what that felt like. So anyway, so now the Hound is on the staircase, facing down Cersei, and the mountain, and Kaiber, and the Hound's like, hello, big brother! And so then of course the mountain's like very triggered by this. Even though he has a big brother! And so then of course the mountains like very triggered by this Big brothers like I can't you see I'm sort of undead right now and you're really gonna you're gonna do this right now so and

he's So the mountains starts walking towards him. So she's like suck reggaugh stay by my side And he looks at her like fuck no are you crazy? And she's like I'm not mind you He's like bitch. We don't have a ceiling. Yeah, Kiberin's like obey your queen so Gregor And he's like he grudges grabs him and he's like now about that And he like smashes his skull into the rocks and he's like completely A blemish just like just tosses him off the side just totally destroys Kiber in one second

So that but then my favorite part of the entire episode is now like the mount, he's now just like throwing Kaiber against the wall. And now the mountain is just staring at the hound and seriously, did you know? She just walks right, she just sort of like skits by. She's like, I'm like, you know, by, I think I left the, I think the toaster,

the toaster's on down, so I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna check. I think the laundry, the laundry, yes, I'm coming. I think they're calling on downstairs. I'm just gonna I'm gonna check. I think the law is a laundry done Yes, I'm coming. I think they're calling for me. I'm just gonna go She's like scoots right by like she doesn't it's like she just literally scoots by So then Jamie Then yeah, then the the two start to fight. Oh my god And this is the coolest fight to because the fire is like right behind them. You see the dragon behind them like, yeah, like everything's like exploding.

And it's like, okay, brother fight. Yeah, brother fight. And then he takes, at this point now, the mountain is like taking off his shirt, which like theoretically could have been a sexy, but it really wasn't because he's undead. And then he takes off his mask where it gets knocked off. Oh, I'm sorry, the howe knocks it off. So we see his head and it's like very, he sort of looks like Butchbear's, you know? It's like, oh, oh, this is what, this is another trajectory for Varys' life.

And then the howe does like, you show is ugly. It's like the color purple. And then so they start swinging at each other and going at each other. And, man, the howe really gets some good ones in. And, fortunately, the mountain can't really just die. No. I didn't realize how undead the mountain was.

I thought the mountain was just stronger, like super strong. I didn't realize he was like super unkillable. Yeah, he's like Frankenstein. He's like the dead brought back to life. Yeah. So, Cersei is like, oh god, here I am. Another crumbling life. Yeah. So Cersei's like, oh God, here I am. Another crumbling room. Yeah, there's the map.

And he makes it to her and then like romantic music place. And they're like just so good. No, they go into a hug. Because everything crashes down around them. Was it just me? I totally thought it was Arria. I was like, oh, this is gonna be awesome because they're gonna have this moment.

And then she's gonna, then, and then like, like, I just thought Arya was gonna kill Cersei at that moment. I was like, but I, they're not gonna give Arya two super high profile kills, but I wasn't totally convinced that it was Jamie. I really thought I might have been Arya, which would have been awesome. Yeah, you know, they're kind of robbing Arya for kills. So I feel like she's really earned them. Well, they also gave her nothing to do.

I mean, they made her go all the way to King's Landing, just to have her get like trampled and like covered in dust. I don't know. I didn't really love what they did with Arya this episode. I guess maybe it's that she finally learned to like go vengeance, but oh god, we really had to watch her get knocked over a lot. Yeah, a lot.

Oh my God. Like it was like from this point on, like the show, the show is already getting kind of like, it was getting a little tedious with all the destruction and then it just really starts going downhill. Yeah, so when we cut to some more women and children getting slaughtered and then we're back to the mountains and then the mountain stabs the hat and then he grabs him and he's got him up against the wall and he's strangling him. And he pops out one of his eyes, which is...

Yeah, there's this whole thing. The hound, well, the hound, he sticks his sword into the mountains all the way through the mountains torso. And then the mountain just takes it out. Because I think at this point, the mountain is just like a jelly donut. It's just all jelly And there's no actual organs and there's just like shit falling are you running just like you said and also by the way

Is it a real basically can ninja? Why is she so inept at this evacuation process? She's just like getting knocked everywhere Because there's no winning against it's like a best it's like a black Friday at best by there's no winning against, it's like a black Friday at Best Buy, it's terrible. Like there's a $400 TV in there. Yeah, and at one point, like, like, Aria gets knocked down, because she gets, this was,

she keeps getting really knocked down, and she's getting full on-stamp heated, and then this lady's like, grab my hand! So she like grabs this lady's hand. Yeah, some on from the beginning. Right, which by the way, there was nothing particularly like athletic about that. So Arya could have just gotten up without a hand.

Like she could have done it if she actually thought about it, you know. Well, geez, I'm just mad at Arya. I just feel like Arya could have, like, she could have got, she could have escaped in a more interesting way. Then getting thrashed around. She's Arya. Arya is such a badass and this is what she's doing. I'm mad. She's getting covered in rubble and then she's trying to help the mom. She follows the mom into a little hallway. She's like following the mom.

She's like, no, we'll die. She's like, you want to let it? They're running and then they're torn apart because the dragon comes down. And we think, oh my god, god Ari has just been burned alive. Right. Well and the thing is this so meanwhile while this is happening upstairs after the mountain has like squeezed out the hounds eyeballs and all this stuff the hound. The hound does what everyone's been doing this season which is while the bad guy is clutching her throat we're doing whatever you reach down and grab a knife and he jams it right through the mountain's head. And then even that doesn't work. At this point the hound is just like, okay, fuck this shit.

So he just tackles his brother, they go through a wall and they just fall off the castle into like a pit of fire and lava down below. And so ends the story. The story is, oh, he's overcome his greatest fear by killing his brother inside of it. Oh, I didn't even think about that, but yes, you're right. Well, I saw it on the after the show thing. Oh, that's nothing deep on my end. Did that was the creator sitting there with hands folded, looking down at his knees, saying, well, you know what we had to do for the Hound is, we really want to bring this full circle to his childhood,

because that's what this is about. Yeah, and I'll like it here. Amanda Pete is terrifying. Haha. Please help me. Please. By the way, we have to give applause to Amanda Pete for her wonderful performance as the mountain.

So anyway. Haha. Would that be funny if that was her under all that? Yeah. So anyway, so yeah, so you're saying, as you're saying, rubble, it's, I mean, this is all sort of like a mix because there's rubble, rubble, rubble, and then like every time there's like rubble. So there's like areas walking, rubble falls on her, then it looks like she's dead and

then she wakes up again. And then there's like always a quiet moment of like, look at all the carnage, look at all the dead people and the destruction. Yeah, and then she wakes up again. And then it, she's like, oh my head, I'm coughing, oh my god, and then it comes again, she starts running like hell, you know. And she, you know, this is where she makes the, the women and children trying to run because it's only where they're going to make it out. And then the dragon comes in and like spews out fire and she jumps in a hallway. And we're like, is she she dead now because it looks like the fire goes into that hallway and fall

Yeah, I mean she's like everything's fallen on her every single thing and if it's not falling on her It's like catching her on fire and then there's like death and then on top of that There's like death raki who are just like rating the streets and attacking people and the poor woman that she told to like Get out of that hallway. She gets like hit by the the Thrac and then she's like, oh, you know, should I take my child, take my child, but in the fire, it's just like one thing after another, after another. Yeah, and it ends, I mean, then we're in the basement, which is a new Cersei. And he's trying to take her to the escape

door, but it's covered in rebel. Yeah. And she's like, damn it, I want a baby to live. I want a baby to live I want a baby to live shut up Cersei you're an asshole okay and I cannot believe are you thinking to kill you also you had like a lot of time to evacuate and you took a really long time so you know what like like read the room and by room I mean read the city that's falling apart. Maybe if you weren't wearing velvet right now. Right. If there was ever a time for Lulu lemons. So then Jamie's like nothing else matters, nothing else matters, only us only us.

And she's like, comes down and they're like hugging and kissing and then the room just starts to cave in on them and I'm like, is this? No, I was like, don't kill my Cersei and if you do, don't, like, we still have another episode. I want another episode of Cersei, like, it's not fair. Yeah, I think that Cersei deserves a villain's death. Yes. You know, because they really give the villains these horrible deaths on the subject.

I agree. Like, watching Jofrey just die for like 10 minutes. I mean, that's the kind of death Cersei deserves. Something massive. Not just getting fucking covered in rubble with some hot minutes. I mean that's the kind of death Cersei deserves something massive not just Getting fucking covered in rubble with some hot guy. I agree. I felt like Not even the love of his life. She didn't even notice his bangs. You love his that If only she knew that he had banged the Awkward tall lady up in winter felt like the night before yeah, well who she to talk Well, but the point is this I agree she deserved a villain send off and I thought like while it is like You know the world's crumbling in around her

There's met a there's a metaphor there and you know big getting buried with her brother It's like very sad and fitting whatever it was oddly Unsatisfying to me and it felt it was like unsatisfying in me in terms of wanting to see a villain die and unsatisfying for me and wanting to see one of my favorite characters die It was like or it's almost like I wish Watching them die was given the same over dramatic treatment as like watching the villagers running through the streets in slow motion You know like what I would have liked to see the bricks like descend in slow motion I would have liked to see like strings swelling and

cameras swirling but something just did not work right for me in that moment. I loved it. I just wanted her to have like a more violent horrible death. Yeah. And you know what? As as a gift to her she earned it. I feel like over the course of the show, but you know she does romance instead. So what are you gonna do people? What can you do so then Meanwhile, then it's like the screen goes like white and then we see like ashes and everything and then it's like Okay, the aftermath and then there's aria and like oh, okay. Well now she's really dead, but she's awake She's awake. Yeah, she's a wake again, then miraculously, her white horse is waiting for her.

But like before the horse gets there, Arya has to stare at like a Pompeii body. You know, it's like these two bodies that have been burned alive. Yeah, because she sees the mother and the daughter that she was, or the mother and the kid that she was trying to save. Were those the same words I just assumed?

Yeah, and they're holding, she's holding the kid. The kid has the toy. Just staring. And then it's like everything's, and they're holding she's holding the toy the kid has the toy Staring and then it's like everything's and then there's the horse and then she goes up to the horse It's all in like slow motion and it's like there if it was starting to feel like a commercial for Britney Spears perfume It was just it was I was like oh can can we I? Can't sit and ruminate about the carnage in King's landing anymore like this is like come on Let's move this along. I wanna get back to like people, you know?

Yeah. And she does, and next week we will, and we see the scenes from next week, just a little bit, but basically, Daenerys stepping up to the throne, and I'm like, girl, are you gonna get killed? She's gonna get killed. But just for everybody who's been going crazy

this entire recap, that scene where she says you win that game of throws Oh you die took place outside in the garden. It was not in the map room. Oh, am I brain all this time? The map was my library of episodes. It just took me a while to search through. Thank you Thank you. I'm sorry that I did that I Confibulated the truth there. I'm sorry. No, I am sorry It's just like Tammy. Can you know, well something like that happens. I'm like, was it? Is my whole life a lie?

I just, the thing is this, I can't make fun of Daenerys for, you know, coming up with shit out of Daenerys when I myself am doing it. And then passing it off as truth. Let's face it, if we were characters on this show, we would have been that a long time ago. Long time ago.

And we would have been dead in the dumbest way. It's like, well, I accidentally stepped on the Dragon's Toe when he wasn't paying attention to me in the kitchen. I think we would have been fine. I think we would, because you know, there are some amazing cities that I think we would have just gone to. First, we would have gone to the Citadel city, or we would have gone to the city where like the, I would have gone to try to go to the wealthy city where he can get cockles and clams.

You know, like that's my kind of city. Money everywhere, cockles and clams, I like it. Yeah, we would have been in a totally different place, you're right. Yeah, I would have been in a Kingslanding. Listen, we live in Los Angeles, not in New York City, okay? There's like, do you think we would have stayed in Kingslanding?

No, we've been like, it's too crowded. We're on, you have to spend like $5,000, you don't even get like a full like you know Like shit hole to stick to shit in I'm going to SOS because it's just you know I would have gone to Dorn that I said the beginning of what we started doing this podcast I would have gone to Dorn because that's where this that's where it's nice Yeah, I think Dorn is the most L.A. for sure. Yeah, that's where it would have been all right everybody Well that brings us to the end of the penultimate episode.

Next week, it's gonna be the last one of all time. Oh, it's so sad. Yeah, we'll be back. And of course, if you are enjoying this ridiculous pattern, be sure to subscribe and also check out Watch for Crappens. We cover a lot of shows like Real Housewives, Vannapurna Phromproules, Below Deck. And we think you'll enjoy it. Have fun. Bye everybody. Bye. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court.

I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the hosts of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Disantel. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.

But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering app.