Watch What Crappens - Winter Is Crappening: The Girl with the Dragon Taboo

Episode Date: August 23, 2022

At long last House of the Dragon is here. There are dragons, there is bloodshed, and there is a body part that SHALL NOT BE NAMED. Did you watch? We are all in!Watch our recap with Crappens on Demand here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/70892297?pr=trueSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Winter is Crapening. I'm Ben, that's Ronnie. How's it going Ronnie? Welcome back to Winter's Crapening. I'm Ben, that's Ronnie. How's it going Ronnie? Welcome back to Winter's Crapening.

It feels great. They were back with a whole fresh new game of throne show. What's going on Ronnie? Yes, hello, B.M. How are you? It's been three years. I know. I know it's hard not to fall into the trap

of doing our normal watch for crap and opening. I have to sort of like, I don't know, say not the words that you normally say about crap and but for those of you guys who are here and new to us, we're Ben and Ronnie and we do watch or crap and which is a Bravo recap show. So you can always check us out there and this this recap that we're doing of House the Dragon the premiere episode is part of crap and on demand, which is a tier on our Patreon.com slash watch what crappens. If you support at that level, you can not just listen to our recap, you can watch our beautiful, decently lit faces as we do it. So come and join for that. Again, that's Patreon.com slash watch what crappens.

Yes. Now, this is a big week because you know house of the dragon is back and I guess I had like the same reservations as I did during the first season we did of this which was the final season of Game of Thrones Okay, which was like are we too dumb for this and the answer was very quickly discovered. Yes Yes, we are Which is why it's fun for us to do. But if you're new to this, we don't really know all of the everything. Okay. So we're not, we're here to talk about their shoes. So yeah, I mean, this is, I mean, look, there's a lot of lore. Okay. And there's a lot more heads out there. And we're trying our best. Look, we have

cred. We've watched all of Game of Thrones. Okay. We both played Elden Ring religiously, which is not Game of Thrones, but it's George R Martin. And we're just going to coast on that. Yeah, another project where everyone has the same name with one letter changed. And you're supposed to remember who the hell everybody is. And then I go on Reddit and I read the threads on Reddit because you have to know something, how it's all piece together. Because it really does show me how stupid I am

when I watch it. I'm not stupid, just like into it for different reasons. I'm like, ooh, it's like a women soap opera version of that, which I loved. But then I went to read Reddit and I was like, oh, that's that person and this is that person. And a lot of people in the threads are like, well, as a book reader, you know,

because their opinion is like way more important than anybody else's opinion. They're like, well, as a book reader, here's where the eyes, you've got surprises coming to you, Buccaro. You know what I'm saying? So you've got all these like tears, all these classes of people within the phantom,

which is super funny. All I knew is that I loved it the second I watched. Well, I loved it the second I watched. I did like it, but my favorite part of it was the very end when the episode airs and the producers come on for like, behind the throws or whatever. And the showrunner started it. And you know, everybody takes themselves very seriously. So seriously. A very, it's like a pedigree to show. And the showrunner starts it and he goes, I love prologs.

It's a good one. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't Well, that's good. That's good to know because we're basically watching a prologue. Yeah, I didn't watch that the producer sit down because I was going to, but I was on a little bit of a time crunch, but I'm going to go back and watch it. But I did watch a few of those on the Game of Thrones. And it just would crack me up. They would sit there and like a chunky sweater being like, one of the things that we really wanted to figure out was, what does grass feel like in Westeros? What is that sensation?

You're like, okay, thanks. Thanks very much for your... I like it because it explains... You know, it explains stuff to me. They were like, we wanted to juxtapose the battlefield of the woman giving birth with a battlefield of the men, battlefielding. The battlefield of men is a battlefield. The battlefield of women is, battlefield being. Which is a battlefield. The battlefield of men is a battlefield. And the battlefield of women is babies coming out.

And I was like, yes, yes, I see. I thought like that was very obvious considering that while Emma was giving birth that the men were fighting in a stadium that was shaped literally like a vagina. So I felt like they really, they really telegraphed that. They're like, we want to draw parallels between a vagina. So let's have the men fight in an actual oversized vagina. That's kind of cut down the middle, which is disgusting.

And I'm not gonna make jokes about that because it was horrible to watch. But yeah, and also they had the specific line, like our place as women, This is how battlefield giving birth And I was like, okay, you guys are a little heavy-handed, but guess what? I like it because it's made for people like me who don't remember because I was reading like catch up stuff Not catch up stuff. I mean I have I was actually reading about catch up. Yeah, a lot of corn syrup in there

I read the label every time I use ketchup. I'm like, I'm gonna see what the Hines 57 is updating me with. Yeah, it's like, mom, still using corn syrup. Okay, hit the 57 if you wanted to come out faster. But I'm, I've been reading a lot of ketchup material. And I'm like, who, what? Where? The city of Hong.

Okay. I just spent the entire morning reading about the... The Doom. The what happened to the barrier and... The Grey, yeah. Yeah. So... It's a lot.

But anyway, the shows made for people like me. You don't really remember, and so they're very heavy handed. They're like, okay, we know maybe we've got some new people. So we're gonna just kind of tiptoe in there, okay? Yeah, it's a nice disclaimer because like the truth is this We are gonna miss a lot of Easter eggs and that's just the way it's gonna be I know people be like how could you miss the fact that that was Robert Barantheon's uncle's best friends Glove maker and I'm like I missed it. I forgot. I'm sorry

We're gonna miss those moments, but that's cool. Mention it in the, Mention it like tweeted at us, cause it'll be fun, cause we'll be able to like be like, oh cool, there's Robert Prantheon's uncle's glove maker, but like we will miss a bunch of those things. And I was like you, I was reading some material,

just were like refresh myself, and I was reading about this show, about how there's so many names that are like, and that's just something that George R. Martin loves to do. And they said how in the original game of Thrones, are like, for instance, they had to change Asha's name because it's too close to Oshah or something like that.

And I was like, who's Asha? I was like, I can believe we forgot. And I looked it up and I saw who it was. It was like the fran dresser kind of lady who helped Fran get to the tree or whatever. But like, I was like, there's a lot that I've forgotten. And it's only been like two years or three years. So know, it's it's just to be a part of a journey Yeah, so feel free to and that's the only apology you're getting okay? That was a very long like oh, we don't know things

We're dumb that was all you're getting cuz we're not here because we know things okay? There's other podcasts that I go find this so feel free to tweet at us like you know what we're missing or whatever I'm just saying don't be surprised, you know what I mean? So let's get into it. The story of the Targaryen Civil War took place about 300 years before events portrayed in Game of Thrones. And I was just thinking, wow, HBO Max is going to be no more. They're going to merge with Discovery Plus somehow.

And I just cannot believe that this show is going to be on the same network as flip or flop. I can't believe it. I'm actually looking forward to that because there were a few interiors that I could have used some touches, you know. Some of them can. I need the guy from Insync to come on here and explain those fucking chandeliers that are fire pits about to bring down the entire house. Okay, I mean that. I, um, I don't like, I don't like the excessive use of swords in the iron throne room, which obviously are gone by the time we get to Game of Thrones,

and I'm sure there'll be some significant scene like in season six where someone destroys all the swords. And we're all gonna be like, that's where the swords went, You know, but you know, I think there's a lot of lighting that could be fixed. I think we could get like some, maybe take down some walls, get some windows, you know. I need this kitchen to be more open. Everybody loves a kitchen. I think I need, I think I need the throne room.

It's already actually very open concept. It could be even more open concept. Well, for somebody who wants children so bad. He's not baby proofing that house. I'll tell you that right now, the king. And that is not a baby proof throne. No, okay. No, it's not.

It's horrible. It's not a king proof throne room. He's nickin' self like five times already. Yeah, he's probably a some element. Yes. And I think someone's gonna obviously die on those swords, right? And that's why they're gonna take them away away later, because it's just too dangerous.

But that demon is going to just come and drop somebody on the pile of swords and it will definitely be something. So the show opens up with a very serious late, of course, because there's no such thing as a non-serious lady in Game of Thrones world. She's like, as the first century of the Targaryen dynasty came to a close, the health of the old king de haras was failing and in those days house like Aryans stood at the height of its string

with ten adult dragons under its yoke. No one could stand against it and it's the lady from nurse jackey who is amazing and I can't wait for her to be the lead on this show. But not you falco because that would be a whole different show like. Oh my god no one could stand against the dragons and I told't wait for her to be the lead on this show. But not Evie Falco, because that would be a whole different show, like... Oh my God, no one can stand against the dragons. And I told those dragons, you listen to me, motherfucker. Okay, you mess with me one more time,

you're going out those swords in the throne room, okay? Yeah, so then basically this whole monologue at the beginning ends with a statement of, so in the year 101, the old king, whatever, the king called the council together to figure out who's going to be the successor. The yeah. And so thousands of people made their way, but only two were really considered. And it's people made their way, but only two were really considered. And it's her, Princess, the Princess, and her cousin, Prince Vessaris, who, so she's the King's oldest descendant, but she has what is referred to these days as a vagina,

okay? And back then it was referred to as a no-go. They were just like, don't talk about it. Don't ever give them power. Ewa! Ewa! Ewa! Don't do that. Yeah, but she's like very sure to remind people of like her place in this world, because she says, she says, a woman would not inherit the throne. The Lord instead chose Viserys.

My father! I was like, okay, nice name drop, lady. Okay, we get it. It's like pretty cool that you get to the opening monologue. You don't have to like... Oh, so this was the princess who was giving that monologue. I said it was lady from Merce Jackie. See, I got a rob.

Oh yeah, I'm already fighting that man. You remember that? Literally nothing's happened. What do you like about that? Hahaha. Um, so the king opens a box and Gwyneth bouchers him. Literally nothing's happened. We've already messed up. Ha ha ha ha. So the king opens a box and Gwyneth bouchers head isn't there. And he's like, it is declared, he's like a toe. Word that shall not be spoken candle. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha So he opens a little scroll and I love that even though they didn't have like iPhones and stuff

They still had fancy shit, you know, it's not just like some little scroll. It's like a plastic tube and they're like Like a very It's a very like Steve Jobs scroll. I was very impressed very their scroll technology was wonderful in those days, you know It was great. It was great. Yeah. So then we got her. Is that the latest scroll?

Does it have the scroll update 15.7? Is that bug at all? Yeah. Unfortunately, ever since I updated the scroll, I have not been able to write on it in the same way. I write a letter and it takes about five seconds for the letter to actually show up on the parchment. It's terrible. Well, guess who wins? The child will luster from Peaky Blinders. Congratulations, Evil

Priest. You are now the king. How did that happen? I like to think of him as the griefstruck and father from in America. That's my reference of him. I feel like that's a movie that I would lie. I think I did see that movie, actually, but I feel like it's a movie that I would lie about just because you're supposed to see it if you're intelligent but that I really don't want to sit through. I like, I left that theater sobbing.

I'll always remember, that was 20 years ago. It was 2002, I think, and I left that movie because it ends with him saying like his little daughters like say goodbye to Michael say good boy Marker, good boy Marker, good boy, I'm saying goodbye to Marker And I was just like crying in the theater like goodbye Michael. So that was the one with where they were in like an Attenement right and they made friends like like the where they from Africa the people that they They they were never they were Irish immigrants and they made friends with Jim and Hansu, which by the way, great taste.

Yeah, I did see that film. And guess what, I did feel extremely intelligent when I left. You should. And now here he is. So like the whole reason why you see movies is like that is that 20 years later, when someone from a movie like that shows up in prestige TV,

you can be like, actually, I was there. I was there. I was there. I was there. I was there. I was there when he was found. Okay. By the way, did you notice that the second we started doing

this recap, my room got really dark and stormy? Look at the way it was. I noticed that. It's storming now. It's like Game of Thrones time. We just went from talking about housewives in our last recap and the second we started Game of Thronesroes all the sun left and we just started Moving down I love it. It really did. I got very many. I love your support weather. Love it. Thank you

So one thing I was really excited about about this premiere was to see what the opening Credits were gonna be like what the theme song was gonna be like and instead what we got and what I hope is just a temporary thing was We just sort of saw a medallion that kind of like came closer to us and then like, drums. It was like, buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh bu All subsequent episodes. Well, I can tell you it's a book reader. You'll be very pleased next week. Yeah, people were so mad. But I liked it because I felt like this is a housewife show at the end of the day. Because that's how housewives start.

You don't get to begin to get the show. You get to start the live show. You get to start the second week. Yeah. So let's see. So obviously, Aunt Nurse Jackie's friend is very pissed off about this. She doesn't like it. And now, the Jeharris stopped the cold the council to stop a war, but

the only thing that could tear down the house of dragon. Oh, this is a little girl talking. Jeharris called the council to stop a war, but the only thing that could tear down the house of the dragon was itself. Or the lady from Flipper Flop. So now after the credits, we see something on screen. It's written, it is now the ninth year of King Bazarus, the first Targaryen's reign, 172 years before the death of the mad king, Ares and the birth of his daughter, Princess Daenerys Targaryen.

And then all the words like disappear except for a few that just say 172 years before Daenerys Targaryen. I was like, wow, are we that stupid that they have to like, like, buy the, let's clear that up for you. In case you couldn't read the sentence, let's just get to the, let's just get the 172 years before Calisi. Okay, 172 years. But we are the, I am that stupid because I was like words words too many words 172 before okay, thanks for that up. Okay. I'm also I need the math to math You know what I mean because this show in the description of the show when you turn on HBO It says the story of the talk airing civil war that took place about 300 years before events betrayed in Game of Thrones

Now we're at 172, so I guess the Targaryen war charcarian civil war that took place about 300 years before events portrayed in Game of Thrones. Now we're at 172, so I guess the Targaryen war was before that, but then see look what's happening even now. The numbers are starting my head, stop doing this to me, I don't need this. Well, the whole thing with this series, by the way, is that it's sort of like an unreliable narrator, did you read about this? Because Because the whole book that George R. Martin wrote was written in the voice of someone in the world of Westeros during the Game of Thrones time. So the whole schtick is that everything we're seeing may not be fact-based. It's actually as perceived to the person who wrote the original text about it.

Maybe the narrator got that part, maybe that's like our first bit of unreliable narration as he got the years wrong. Like writing that is brain almost exploits from having to do math. So you think they figured it out. It's like the first Easter egg in the show. So now we see clouds.

And the sun shining right in your face, which I know you love from doing our preview episode last week So the sun shining in our face someone's writing and dragging through the clouds and some majestic music and the dragon lands I think the dragons look great. I don't know what people are complaining about the dragons. I think they look good I think they're so cute. I like that they're like all different. I Mean they looked a little CGI-ish to me. I mean, I'm not complaining. It's better than like puppets, you know?

But they like this dragon in particular, I would have liked it. I think they could have meant like a little bit better, honestly. It was not great. Like it's more like once it landed and then it was like, there are those two guys where it landed that were holding at polls,

which I'm like, great work guys. Like, oh, just in case that dragon gets out of hand, I've got a wooden stick. Yeah, make the 12 year old go for the dragon with the stick, bunch of sticks over there. I'm awesome. But as the dragon was landing, they go over the Greek theater and all I could think was,

oh my God, that's where my aunt went to see Josh Groban. Oh, I'll show. So then So then yeah they're with their sticks and the dragon's like, but I'm also really cute. I'm like, oh my god you're so cute. I love that you could kill us. You want to hug? You want to hug before you go to your house? Go to your house. Who wants to go to their house? Who wants to go? The dragon's like, I hate that they exploit my deep-seated fear of sticks to keep me in trying to hide in line. So, I could burn them, but they have sticks. So, there's probably-

They probably train them like when they're little babies, like they do elephants, you know? Like, an elephant shouldn't be able to just be tied to one single rope to a stake in the ground, but the elephant is so used to it that they every time the stakes in the ground, they sit down. They're like, okay, I'm stuck here. So maybe they just, once the dragon is born, they just go out with little popsicle sticks. They're like, damn, they're coming out. They grow up with this trauma of popsicle sticks.

They have stick trauma. You know it can happen. So this young lady steps off of the dragon. Us, she looks like Teddy Melon camp, formerly of the real housewives of Beverly Hills. Teddy farm. Teddy face. And she gets off. And then there's like she has like her bodyguard type guy. They have a name. I don't remember what they're called but the name is white horse guy white horse guy actually does have a name like Sir Harold or whatever and He'd like he starts the show off on an interesting note. He's like I'm gonna do an American accent for this scene And then never again, so he's like welcome back princess She's like thank you. He's like welcome back to the ranch princess Don't worry. We'll put him away y'all

But y'all got your popsicle sticks. Okay. You all got your sticks ready? And just so we got this properly set up princess, I am prepared to get the bark disease on my skin to save your life. Okay, I don't know if we're going there in this one, but I'll be there for you.

And so this girl we find out her name is, this is Ranera, not to be confused with Ranera Riss, but this is Ranera. And she's like, well, try not to let me say believe. And he's like, well, I am really pretty little lady, because every time that golden beast brings you back, it saves my head from being on a spot, don't you know? Ha ha ha. Commissions.

Here comes one right now. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us?

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You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder yeah. So then they go in and carriage. So then she gets into this carriage and it's like the world's voice of carriage. It's like too ridiculous. It's too big. Like you're never going to go under an underpass in that thing. You know, it's just fucking rich people just showing how fucking rich they are with their ridiculous choices. Yeah, it's actually it looks looks, it's a silly, silly looking carrot. You know, I know this is a fantasy world, but even like, I don't even believe in a fantasy world. A carrot would look like this, but she, Reneira gets in that

carriage with her, like, attendee. We find her name. Her name is Allyson, which is so fantasy. Like, I love high fantasy how they do that. They're like, her name could be Allison, but we'll add a T to it, Alicent. It's like, now she's fantasy, Alicent. Alicent. And then we see the castle, shot of the castle, you know, and I can think of so much to clean, you know.

So much, it's huge. So then the girls, they're doing that. Like, oh my God, remember the time when we were innocent and just young fun freely goes, they're really playing that out because it's came across. So their lives are about to be bloody hell and traumatic and abusive for hour long. The show is going to be on. So they're like, have them walk arm and arm, have one laying on the other one while they read books under a tree What other shit did people like to do back then if they if they had the word that not be spoken What did those humans that don't have the thing? What do they do when they're innocent? You know, do they like lead?

Do they like red leaves? They like hanging out under trees red leaves. Let's put them there you know, do they like, do they like red leaves? Do they like hanging out under trees with red leaves? Let's put them there. And this is when we see the big chandelier that are basically bonfires hanging from the ceiling. Like, I get it, but A, it's the day, be anybody have a cough? Anybody on this show?

That's not good. Those aren't good. How about you have a window so that we don't have to have giant bonfires hanging from the ceiling in the middle of the day? Like, I get it at night, but if it's two in the afternoon, it's called like, look into skylights.

I don't know. Oh yeah. So there's the pregnant lady, and she's being attended to you by all these different ladies in Princess Reneerikos and then end it's her mother, AMO. Yeah. Yeah.

And so she, Reneerikos in there, and you know, mom's all mad because she's like, oh my God, you've been, not only are you flying again because you shouldn't be doing that because you are a lady, but also like you smell like dragon, which is, you know,

I'm like, I feel like everyone else here smells like, what is it, what is anyone here doing to make themselves smell good? I feel like dragon is an upgrade, probably based off of the way, how grimy everyone looks around this place. Right, there's only one brand of acts right now and it's not a deodorant. Okay.

And the mom's, it's like the old days so she's really pregnant and she's like smoking her benton newed hedges, drinking a bottle of wine in the pool. I mean, about to. Yeah. And because it's the first episode, there's also a lot of like, the characters go out of their way to say everyone's names. So like, the blue dress girl walks in and she's like, you're crazy. And she's like, good morrow. Alice sent. She like winks at the camera. Emma's like, that's Alice and everyone. Enjoy.

It's also, you know, anybody who's watching Game of Thrones, which I'm assuming is all of us, we all know what's going to happen because you're a woman on Game of Thrones, right? It's just not gonna go well. So and also really for anybody, the men too, you know, to some degree But every time somebody comes on you just know when they're gonna die You know this lady's like difficult pregnancy Girl needs to ascend to the throat so the second you see her like you're dead make it count Make it count. You've got about 10 minutes of screen time left. I want to see some How does anyone like how's anyone born in the world of

Gamathrons because as far as I can tell I feel like every pregnant woman has died on the show Apparently yeah because they were saying on the after show that back then that well on the old days I don't know, really back then, but there was a 50% chance that you would make it through pregnancies, isn't that insane? No, I mean, I know that. I know that like, I didn't know that. I mean, people just kept dropping babies like it was totally great. It's totally safe, you know? I just have another one. I just figured it was safer than 50% I mean my god. Yeah, no, it may it's rough, but like I just I just feel like on game of thrones particularly like You can't get off this. If you have a if they put a pregnancy belly on you, you just know that like you're dead

Yeah, don't buy a Lamborghini. You're not on the show very long. Okay. A Lamborghini carriage Yeah, I mean remember what's her face, the red wedding? They were like, we're just gonna, we're gonna take care of this right now. So, yeah. They're like, it's more dramatic if she's pregnant when she goes. Like, come on, you guys. They love that.

So, she's kind of, you know, mothering her mother. And she's like, I don't mean mothering. And she's like, but you have all these attendance, only focusing on your baby, mother. You need someone to focus on you now. And she's like, but this have all these attendance only focusing on your baby, mother, you need someone to focus on you. Now, and she's like, but this, this is how we serve the realm, my child, as bad babies. And she's like, but I will rather be a night, mother. Yeah. A pregnant night? No, just a night. A night with a baby inside of me. No, no, no! How about this, if you want to take care of me, don't show up while I'm pregnant, smelling

like dragon, do you know how sensitive my nostrils are these days, okay? So put your money where your mouth is little girl. So we go into the council. Yes. For the first time. And the King is telling him, he's like, can I trouble him? You're looking up the wrong end. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh guy who I believe we later find out is Coralus and he's like, my lord, I know everyone's laughing at that joke but I unfortunately don't understand humor so let me tell you this.

The growing annoyance among the free cities has taken to calling itself the Chai-Aki and I was like, God, we're still laughing from that joke. Can we like have like a moment of levity because we have a few seasons of no levity coming up? We just want to have a laugh, okay? It's a tri-Aarchy an orki with three buttholes to look at because I go for that Oh Man a bunch of Triarchy more like tri-harni am I right everyone? This is serious. Oh get over it call us

Well there's a mass of pirate infestation and then try hard establish himself as the wrath knee-tarp because of his creative ways of punishing his enemies on rafts. No matter how fast I'm signing stuff, do you have a butt joke? Do you have a butt joke? I believe they actually call him the crab feeder due to his inventive methods of punishing his enemies and everyone's like, I think I need more explanation. Coralus is like, I feel like that, I feel like that, that, that, that it sells itself. Like, mm, I don't understand about the crabs.

So, do crabs eat, does he feed them to crabs? If so, like, I don't think crab eat humans. He's like, okay, I'll just tell you, okay, what he does is he chops them into small bits and he scatters them around the ocean and crabs come up and they eat it and they're very happy They're happy little crabs. They are you happy now? That is why he's called crab feeders like whoa, Coralus Well, wait to bring down the meeting cordless. All right Aren't you with phone without a cord? Coralus, what are you saying about this triarchy? He's like, well the triarchy

They're on the bloodstones and they're reading the stepsons of pirate infestation.. Are they on the bloodstones or they're on the stepstones with the bloodstones? The bloodstones. Are you sure? Because I'm pretty sure they're on the stepsstones. I've fallen for this one before. The stepsstones bloody or are they on the bloodstones? You've got to tell me the correct stones. Otherwise, I'm just walking up steps for no reason. There's no elevators here. I feel like you're expecting me to be setting up a joke. I'm not telling a joke right now. There is no punchline if that's what you're after. Oh, it's my daughter.

You heard about the one about the asshole. Oh right, oh god, you smell like dragons. Smell like dragon. Daughter, if I said crab feeder to you, what would you think of? Just asking for a friend. Bloodstone's father. What would you think of? Just asking for a friend. Bloodstone's father. What are we discussing today? And he's like, well, one of the old guys is like, you should know your brother to feel the seeds. Your brother Damon!

Or a son. No, I call that man. I call him official old man. He's like, I'm an old man and I'm officially an old man. And I have this to say. What is there no one sitting in there? You know who he is, right? Mr. Roper, it's the guy who played Mr. Roper on a trees company. That makes more sense. Okay. That...

It looks just like him. There's something going on in this apartment. Mr. Roper. the king is like, oh, do you think Damon, my brother is distracted. And they're like, well, blah, blah, blah, your brother, he saw it, doesn't have eyebrows. He was from a doctor who someone told Ronnie that, makes a real stupid. Also, he does have eyebrows, they're just very light. Okay, yeah. Because I was afraid it was like the 2022 fashion, you know how models are just shaving off their eyebrows now. They're like, hey, you're hot.

So we're shaving off our eyelashes, and it creeps me out. But turns out he just has light eyelashes, our eyebrows. So sorry, dude. The, he's blonde through and through. So then they're all like happy. They're like, well, they're like, do you think Damon is destructed by his present task and his thoughts and energies are occupied? It's like, all like, that's my seris is like cracking a joke. So they're like, well,

one would hope so considering the associated cause. So then my seris is like, well, then let us all consider your gold. Well invested Lord Beesbrath. High five. High five Lord Beesbrath. Nell it Bees. Nell it. So the King's hand whose auto is like the court here's your call and we'll take it under advisement. Should we discuss what's really important? The King's tournament. Oh the King's Tournament. I'm like, oh, the King's Tournament! Well, he says that because Coralus is like, guys,

we have to talk about triarchy. I'm really into triarchy. Is that a new band triarchy? No, it's happening on the blood stones on the steps. Yes, he's like, listen, if those shipping lanes fall, it will be Beger our port. Beger, I say, beger our parts. Because that's like the word they say the rest of the episode.

It's like, oh, did you get dinner tonight? No, and I shall be begered in the kitchen now. Now listen, we've kept the people calm through food shortages, water shortages, but you don't know how these people will revolt if they don't get their Amazon packages. I beg your not to. It will beg the entertainment. So I guess as you were saying the answer was, I wrote notes but I didn't really understand

a lot of the words so I'm glad you're here to explain it to me because I just say a wrong sentence and then you tell me what it really was. It's kind of like a game. Well every sentence I went back, like 15 times, we're like, what? And I was like, I'm putting on the closed captions because I don't know what anyone's saying. They're speaking quietly.

If you turn up the volume, then all of a sudden, a dragon comes in and blows out your windows. So I'm putting on a closed captioning and basically the closed captions reveal that everyone's saying, like, it will be a pass. That's very smart because I thought they were talking about raft eating and shipping. That's all I really got. So now they're talking about the tournament and they're trying to, the like, sir, me

you might not want to do this. We've been pouring over the moon. Cos we don't know if it's the right time for the tourney. We might want to delay it until the child is in a hand. Question about the mooncast. Do you have that app on your scroll? Do you have the mooncast app? Because I think it's a little more accurate. I had it and it was very good. Unfortunately, update 15.7 ruin the whole experience. Oh, that's a shame. That's a shame. So, yeah, they're really setting up the fact that this king... this king is like, we're going to have an air tournament

because I'm clearly going to have a son who will survive. So, let's not... Let's... That's a... It's a fate of complete, so let's not even worry about what what might happen otherwise So we're definitely having those air tournaments. Yeah, the King is like yes We'll have it the games would go right when it's ending the baby or pop out be the King It'll be great. Mm-hmm, but we don't know that it's gonna be a boy sir. What if it's got one of those things on it with an opening

You know, it's gonna be a boy. I sense it, you know We did one of those laser things on the tummy, you know. Those have been invented, sir. Well, we dangled a necklace in front of her until it went side to side, which means a boy. That actually hasn't been invented yet either. What necklace is? Notice the method of pregnancy.

It doesn't really work, sir. Well, okay, well, I had a dream about it. It feels a little Lucy Casey. So, so now, Renera has now gone to the Iron Throne room, because she was in there before. If it wasn't clear, she was in there pouring wine for everyone, except for Coralus.

She was like, no wine for me, which will probably be, he's's probably gonna fall off the wagon soon That's what yeah, she was in the meeting listening and they're like no woman could be out for sure So hopefully it's a boy otherwise just wrote in the bean start all over again I mean these damn women smelling like dragons. What does that smell? Oh? Sorry, Ranera sorry What they call it a cup filler where's the cup filler so That's a mouth. Oh, sorry, Ramira. What did they call it? They call it like Cup filler.

Where's the Cup filler? So with their little talking marbles, like, I'm gone. I've got the talking marble. And so Teddy's all mad, Teddy faces like, oh boy. So then we go over to, um, she goes over to the Iron Throne room and she walks in and it's like, and like her, her like overseers like well my stalls because he's speaking you know an accent now and basically there's Damon he's sitting on the throne uncle Damon uncle Damon just lying there just sitting there and she's like what are you doing in here uncle he's like this could be my chair one day little girl. I say not with

him evil words at all. And she's like, not if you're executed for treason, Uncle, he didn't even come to court. And he's like, call his bory. Yeah, you know, I'll come back because there's I came back because there's a tournament in my honor. And she's like, the tournament is fun. And he's like, just as I said, because there's a tournament in my honor and she's like a tournament is fun air She's like just as I said I see how I stepped right into that one didn't I? Yes, ding ding ding bozo So she's like I mean, I think he means his new air is like well interior mom has a boy It's my bitch. So brought you a party to necklace. You know kind of necklace it is

It's forerian still well actually i got it at case but that's fine for the sense valerian we'll go with that we'll go with that i got it from jarrad muck and lie but we can say valerian did valerian have a food court in the mall? It did not. This came from a Jared's. Right. Well, I mean, it was a steal, but it wasn't quite the living in steel. If you know what I'm saying, fair. That's just say they're calling me a Maxinee study stays. So it's like turn around. So he basically puts it on her. There's like definitely some weird like incest. There is. Yeah. Going on. But I don't know. Yeah, I don't know what they call flowers back then, but there

is definitely some like flowers and the attic shit happening already because HBO knows we need our incest. Well, I was in part of my research, quote unquote research for this. Apparently, there's like a huge amount of incest in the book because intergarian don't believe in incest. And it's like all over the place. But I know that probably at HBO, they're like, um, yeah, we're not going to do this incest here. We'll do some other incest, but this incest we're not going to show you guys. We're going to hint at the upcoming incest so people are invested and keep it. It's like once you've got, once you've got people watching for incest, just keep it going. You know, it's like lifetime, lifetime has a whole industry

of flowers in the attic movies. They just came out with a show called like, before the attic or whatever, their own prequel of flowers in the attic. It's like, yeah. Yeah. So, anyway, he gives you this necklace. Now we go to, now we see these beautiful red leaves. It's like a maple tree or something, and now it's Reneira and Alessant, and they're sitting there, and Alessant is like, Did you read it? And she's like, of course I read it. When Princess Reneira arrived in Dorn, who did she take as a husband? She's like, Aman, what was his name? Lord something. If you answer Lord something,

Set Marla would be furious. If you're not going to take this seriously, well in the midst, lovely, best friend cases with third leaves and wonderful birds chirping lying on my lap. Think of you on OK, you two. So then they start talking about the air situation and she's like, Oh, come on. You'll always like to swim when you're wearing disagreeable Munching on Eminem's non-stop. You're worried your father is about to overshadow you with the son aren't you? It's like shut up Brunette, right? I have to take this from a Brunette. You're not blonde. You have no say in this kingdom

Shut up Brunette. I was hoping to reveal my character a little more slowly over the course of the season. Thank you very much. She's like, no, I want my father to have a son because all I want to do is fly dragons and eat cake or I could have cake. And I was like, oh, Teddy, we all know you don't eat that many calories, okay? You have a diet industry. You have a diet industry. All right. I also think it's like, yeah, we know you like to like to fly dragons. That's what got cotton in my nostrils right now, okay?

So I keep rose water between breasts. So she's like, I gotta go. Because she's mad now. Alasent is mad. She's like, this girl doesn't want to even learn or be queen. now. Alice is mad. She's like, this girl doesn't want to even learn or be queen. So she's leaving and then Rainier runs like oh really? Because look, I know every fact from that book. There's a river under the bridge. The castle is there. The princess married prince and always happy with his land. I'm even gonna tear a page out of this book to prove we don't need a poo cares. And I'm sure that's like an Easter egg. Cause you know, there was probably like, like a scene when Sam Tarley was in the archives in the Citadel in Game of Thrones

where he opens up a book and he's like, where's the page? It's missing. You know there was something like that that we're just like, oh, whatever. And that people online are like, there's the page. They figured out what happened to the page.

So I'm predicting that that was an Easter egg that moment. So I was like, why is she tearing that page out? That's just rude at that point. I don't think this girl is set to be an error if she's tearing out pages of books. I don't think so. Well, they never are. They ask the thing on the show, you always

want to be king until you're the king. Then you're like, fuck me. It's like everybody wants to be king, but no king wants to be king. Every king is is like oh god. I wish I could be something else Does that dog look at worker no capy happy dog workers? It's all I want I want to join try-okey commercials Here comes one right now So So, uh, speaking of the king, he's now, uh, I first thought he was getting a tattoo.

I thought it was like some sort of like, chargaryen thing like now is the time that you got to your tattoo. But he just has- How is Emma with an A at the beginning? How many times do I have to tell you? Well, why would I be called Emma with an A if a name is Emma? Who spells Emma AE, M-M-A? It makes no sense.

So he is not getting it tattoo. He is getting some nasty ass leprosy legion off his back pick that because that's what doctors did if you watch he shows this is how doctors work. They get something really sharp and they just poke you with it. Yeah, and then he just has like a pus filled sore and he's like, he's like,-filled sore and he's like, oh, right? Like, he's like, listen, it's not nothing is wrong with me.

It's just, you know, it was like a nick from the throne. And that's all. It was just a nick from the throne. I'm like, no, we all know what you've been up to, sir. We know what this is all about. I saw a comment that I really liked and I didn't write down who wrote it so sorry. But someone was like, so is that why all the kings go crazy? Because they're getting some disease

from getting Nick on the throne. And I think that's a very good theory. What do you think? I think that's wonderful. Like maybe the throne is made of mercury or something. And like the metal just wasn't treated right back then. It's like you get disease from rust, you know? You'll go koo jo on everybody.

And maybe that's what's wrong with all the why everybody's crazy in that family. Is that's what you share? Yeah, that chair that they shouldn't have anyway because it's not. I mean, who thought it would be comfortable to sit on the chair made of swords? Our point remains ever like we've been saying this forever. Don't make a chair of swords. It's like, oh guys, guess what? I got you a bed made of acid. It's like no, not doesn't make sense It doesn't okay, so let's see so he's getting his back lesion picked and The doctor is like oh the king is understress, you know bad hubris of the mind can affect the body

Oh, yes, it's all in your head. I love that even back then people were spouting that shit Oh, you have cancer. It's all in your head. You know, even back then people were spouting that shit. Oh, do you have cancer? It's all in your head. You know, it's your negative thing. Oh fuck off as cancer. Okay. Yeah, my head fix it. Stop poking me with that goddamn thing. And why are you wearing a hood made out of like swim cap material? By the way, the medical establishment in Westeros really needs to have a have some reform. So they said they're gonna quarter rise it, but we actually never see it. I was surprised.

I was like, I can't believe HBO was like, you know what guys, I think we're the pass on an opportunity to show skin being burned. So that was not always brand anymore. That was actually one of my questions, because can he be cauterized? Because I thought they were fireproof in that family.

But then I read that no, they're not fireproof. And Daenerys wasn't fireproof that that was made up in that family, but then I read that no, they're not fireproof, and Daenerys wasn't fireproof, that that was made up in the show, but in... The books is a book reader. See, it was like magic that she came through the fire one time, but that they aren't really fireproof. So it's like, oh, thanks. It's like, how are they gonna colorize him?

It's these fireproof. I like about a hat. I thought I solved something, but I didn't. Well, once again, unreliable narrator, that what I got to say. I think that Joanne Where one where one to talk we're to to talk I know okay God I feel bad for any civilization like in 400 years that like really the only record of this show and they're like Oh listen to this show. Okay, interesting Where that we're the surviving record.

So start getting named Joanne. Joanne of Westeros, you gotta be careful. You can't always tell the truth. So then we go, Emma with an A is in a tub, a milky tub, a very milky tub. I think she's been there too long. I'm just gonna say it right now. Let's refresh that water. And then the king comes in and shames her. He's like, you spend

more time in that bath and I deal with the throne. I'm like, well, she's carrying your baby shirt. Okay. So why don't you have to show some more respect for your wife? Yeah. But he's actually really loving, you know, and that's not our wiki case on these shows. He's like, oh, you should have hot water darling. And, um, no, by the way, the first, first kings are loving because you have to have a loving first king. So that way when they get killed, you're like, God, I miss that nice king. Now we have this awful. Yes. Then you have the awful king, right? Yeah. So, um, they make little dragon jokes. He's like, you know, dragons do prefer their heat darling and she's like well after this pregnancy I wouldn't be surprised if it was an actual dragon that comes out of my don't say the word even I can't protect you

Let's just say Stadium we'll call it that your stadium He's like it will be loved and she's like well, you know Ray Ray wants a sister and she's already named her loved and she's like, well, you know, Ray Ray wants a sister and she's already named her. Veseña is a quarter stupid man. God, we've already got a Veseña. It's a stupid dragon, all right? No one dies.

She's like, okay, well, what's your, what, what do you do? A lot of colleagues like Barbados or something around here. Bar, Bar, I forgot what he named it. I've always wanted a bill or a jack, you know, a Jackson, they'll call them Jacket School, you know. How about a school is Skid and School? How about Blake? I was thinking more Sophie.

Bella, how about Bella? Let's stick with Blake, but we'll put a scene in front of it just to fuck it up, you know. A Blake. And people will say, he's your name, Cablaque. And we'll say, no, it's a silent scene. Have him killed. Have him killed.

Can we put an E after the A? Well, of course, we can't put a Blake without an E at the end. No, not at the end, like directly after A, so it's like Blake. But you don't say Blake's in regular Blake. But then when you do a Google search in the future, and you look up blake, well come up because you didn't add the e-n-a, it'll be hilarious. Let's do that, please.

When he's trending in the future, we'll know it's for him. Yeah. Ha ha ha. Sib blake, pronounced blake. Ka blake. Ka blake. So yeah, they talk about that a little bit,

and then they start talking about his brother. She's like, anyway, if you all lose her brother without the brows. And he's like, well, you know, he's just busy, but he'll show up for the tour, and he's like, oh, really? To celebrate the sun that you don't have because, you know, the baby is not going to grow a cock if he doesn't possess one just because you want to cock so bad. Right. grow a cock if he doesn't possess one just because you want a cock so bad. Alright. He's like I was actually under the understanding that that would happen. So excuse me one moment while I talk to my master. I'll be right back.

He's like no. This child is a boy. I am certain of it. I've never been more certain of anything. The dream was clearer than my memory. Our son, son, was born with Aegon's iron crown, and when I heard the sound of thundering whose splintering shields and ringing swords, I placed our son on the iron throne as the bell set off, and that beautiful dress he was wearing. Damn it, he was a girl. God, I should have looked at the fashion. The dragon's road is when the orchestra started to stir and that the moment saying I had a dream I dreamed it for you that's Chipsy darling that hasn't been written yet damn it. Damn it it was such a such a good well then but

but I don't know going back to the dream my son he was there on the throne and three wise men with beards emerge Each had a bottle on their head and started doing a dance We're telling We probably could do that show based on the way the fashion of this player, but we do truly the context would be out of sorts. She's like, anyway, a baby in a crowd, God, that's life is unpleasant enough as it is with that baby is having to wear iron crowns. They have soft spots, don't you know? All right, now this is the lost, lost arm, you know, because we've lost one baby

in the cradle, two stillbirths, two pregnancies, five and twice as many years. I'm exhausted. Alright, and it's my responsibility to provide an air, but this is it. Alright, last train to babyville. Alright, get dreaming. He's like, I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. What were you talking about?

I don't know, mind. I just saw cats and leotards. That's literally just cats. Literally just cats. So, so now, you know what, the police back then were even worse. Okay, they were terrible. But people didn't really rebel against the police in these times because they played drums. And people were like, yes, the police drum chorus here

to murder us. Guys, this is good. Gather round. Come on. Come on, guys. I can already hear they're gonna do my favorite song. They're gonna do like bang, bang, bang, bang. I love that song. Come on, guys. Guys, gather round. They're doing a like bang bang by bang bang. I love that song. Come on guys guys gather around I'm a bad guy. Yeah Play Gaga play Gaga So All evil uncle Damon is there and these this drum circle of police guys He's like now listen when I took command after watch you a stray Mongols and now your apaka homes balls apaka Hounds say it for the hunt now get out then chop some balls off

I know he's like when I first met you guys you were shitty dogs and now you're just Different dogs, okay, you're just different dogs. I was like, okay, that's a cool motivation. So he's saying my brother, city has fallen into squalor. Every breed has been allowed to thrive no longer. Beginning tonight, King's Landing will fear the color gold. It sort of doesn't make sense, because when we first meet Damien, his vibe is kind of like, I'm Rogesh, slightly effect, and kind of into incest. I don't follow the rules. I'm just that kind of guy.

And I was like, Loss must be followed. So it's sort of like, okay, sure. So he, I mean, he's on a power trip. Obviously, that's more about power than laws, but I'm just saying some things feel a little weird. And by the way, I would not, my prediction is that Damon is actually going to be a good guy. I think they're trying so hard to be like, look how bad he is. He loves like slicing dicks off of people on the street. He's bad. But I think we're gonna find out that he's actually like,

he is vulnerable and he's suffered things. I think so too. Yeah, I think that's where they're going to, because even the creator said on the after show thing It's like he's not such a bad guy. I was like really well you showed that in a great way You really you really played that one up. So yeah, so he takes all the cops out And they just start beating everybody in the street They're cutting off their hands and their legs and their balls as we've said and

Heads I mean every there's a shopping and evil uncle is like cutting off their hands and their legs and their balls, as we've said, and heads. I mean, they're just chopping. And Evil Uncle is like, who the hell are you? You love aunties, just watching and loving it. Meanwhile, they probably should have given us some indication that King's Landing was so shitty because I feel like we didn't see anything.

It was just like, oh, by the way, let's just go outside and kill a bunch of people, and now we're done. Okay, cool, fun times. I was like, okay, and then they just have all these body parts They have to put them in a wagon they rolled them off and now we go back to the council and so you know This is I feel like where we really see those marbles and the saucers, you know, it's like All right guys well Beaver beesbury went to CB2 so we guess we have to use these balls and

Saucers you got on sale I guess let's just pretend like when you talk you put one ball on the saucer I guess is that I don't really know why he got them. They don't have any functionality Let's use them as talking bowls all right talking marbles Okay, I've got the talking marble so the hand auto is like your brother had a cooling of criminals out of every Elk your brother made a show of it He just put nuts and wagons and drove them all over the town, all right But it's not delicious

Lovely walks We're well we need to have more more vendors serving nuts around the city What a beautiful no human nuts testicles. Oh, well That is quite different. yes, I apologize. Suddenly I feel very uncomfortable with these new talking marbles. It's a petri- no, it's just a talking marble. So then, so then, yeah, this guy, I don't hide towers like the prince cannot be allowed to act with his unchecked impunity. So then Damon walks in and he's like, oh, brother, hello, it's like Damon, it's like,

carry on, you were saying something about my impunity. And they're like, hey listen, the police forces are just used to wield at whim young man. Yes, making a spectacle of brutality is not all thing. What is this HBO? What is this HBO? What is this? It actually is. I win. It's a dammit.

Dammit. It's like, there was a lot of time making those gold cloaks, and now everyone hates them. Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot. And then the uncle puts out this argument. He's like, where? Guess our coming for the tourney. You want them raped and not ugly, do you?

Alright, King's Landing has looked at as a terrifying place with Centrelius made out of bonfires. Is that what we want? We it should be safe for all people. That's what I say. And they're like, oh my God, you've got a point. Thank you for bringing safety to King's Landing. Here's a raise. We're gonna make it safe in King's Landing by slaughtering lots and lots of people. That's safety. So So then Coralus is like, you know, or Coral Coralus. Coralus. He's like Coralus. Well, anyway People since no one barely wants to talk about try Arki

Just wants to say that people shouldn't fear coming shouldn't fear the city watch. They should fear try Arki Yes Wait a minute try Arki. He's doesn't orki with three Arthols He's probably like finally someone who gets it. Thank you brother. Thank you, man So then correlate and that quarrel is auto is like well if you paid as much attention to your wife not qualis, uh, auto is like, well, if you paid as much attention to your wife, she's a good woman, honorable woman of the veil and he's like, well, those women are so good luck, the women are so good looking there that the men fuck the sheep instead of them, all right? Sheep are prettier. And if you're in want of a woman to warm your bed, because your lady passed recently, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, me up like, waaaaaaah, I'm angry and you said that the women of the veil are uglier than sheep. So, waaaaaaah. And so, um, so then the king is like, you know, you know how my brother loves making

sport or provoking you? Must you indulge him? And then Adda was like, yeah, I just really wanted to have a stand-up moment. I thought it would be really good for the trailer, but that's fine, I'll sit down, I'll sit down, it's fine. Now, brother, this castle has, at great expense, fortified the watch to your requests, but please, just don't slaughter the bowls, all right, to sacks going around the streets, to stir me. We're selling less nuts than ever, at the town square, please just stop. So now it's like, sacksounds, like moaning and you know sex sounds. And we're at the brothel because of course, can't be at King's Landing without visiting the brothel, am I right?

And there was no TV then, so everybody's just like watching behind like a, it's kind of a wooden screen. It's like a trail. It's like a trail. Yeah, they're just all watching this public banging. And you know, girls getting banged from behind by who else who else would it be? It's uncle. It's uncle over there getting his name on. Yeah, and so his who is like, what travel do you my friend?

So is everything alright? He's like, oh I can't have six. The true sign of a troubled man on HBO. I can't have sex. The truth is, I started to think about sheep and honestly, they really are a delight, a real delight and once you go sheep it's hard to go horror. Am I right everyone? Oh sorry no offense. And she really loves him I guess. Because she's like, what troubles you? I could get you another. Would you like me to hold your ears here hold your ears you are one was over here You want one without eyebrows. We can do that. That can be arranged You are Damon Targaryen rider of carraxes wielder of the Dark Sister the King cannot replace you

It's like you know it. Thank you. I appreciate that I've actually already been introduced on this pilot So you don't have to actually see my full name and all that stuff because everyone knows So just get back to doing what you do best, which is being on all fours for me. Okay, thanks so much love. So then cheering sounds and we see Teddy face approaching the, the giant Echolosseum and the king is giving a speech and Teddy faces late and so he's like, well, I see all the kings here, nights, I see kings of equal and equal people doing nighty thing. By the way, I had a dream.

I dreamed it for you, baby. A dream will come true, baby. Darn it. Get back on track. Oh, yes, yes. Oh, hello, everyone who has arrived here on the vagina stadium. We have some big news that's not jumping the gun whatsoever. Queen Emma with an A has begun her labors. I can say this that her womb is currently begged. All right everyone. Why is everybody looking at me like they want to murder me shouldn't they be cheering you said the V word the

What it should not be spent your right all right? Let's start over welcome to Welcome to body part that shall not be named stay deum the rest is the same. Are we good? Like that in Edit edit. Oh wow. It's a big day here everyone's got this scrolls out recording the videos This one for the gram So now it's like a lot of j- there's a lot of jousting, a lot of clapping. Could you all please stop doing your scroll row dances right now? It's about to be that everyone's like doing there.

You're like little TikTok dancers at the time for their scrolls. You know, it's a shame that no one could be present anymore. Everyone has their face in their scrolls. They can't even see what's happening. But I record it when you can just watch it, you can just watch the jowls. Oh, God. Is that another little girl playing pigeon crush? I can see what's happening. Why record it when you can just watch it, you can just watch the jazz. So then, is that another little girl playing pigeon crush? Come to where you scroll.

Right? I'm switching to crush. So then there's a mystery night. And I think he's, is he called of the Stormlands? I don't know, there's like some discussion of like, who's coal of the stormlands? Never heard of him before. He won't be important in this story whatsoever.

There are a lot of douchey names, you know? A lot of douchey dudes. Who gets coal? Coal, COLE, coal. Coal of the stormland or whatever. And I really like that they all have these helmets that are molded to be their house, where they're land or whatever.

Like one has a castle head. And we find out that Uncle, Uncle, you know, Damon. Damon, yeah, I was gonna say Nicefucker or whatever. I was like wings, his is all fancy. Yeah, it's great, it's our great armor. And then, so this one guy, after. I was like wings, you know, his is all fancy. Yeah, it's great. He's got great armor. And then so this one guy, after he's done jousting,

like after they're done jousting, whoever wins, like rides their horse up to like, like basically the luxury box where all the royals are at. And they always ask for like a blessing. So this one guy goes up to Reneurus or Reinas, I'm sorry, Reneurus, Reinas, or how can I even keep it straight anymore? It's Reneurus or Reynus, I'm sorry, Reneurus. Reneurus, or how do I keep it straight anymore? It's Reneurus, Reneurus, whatever it is.

Reneurus, I think. And he's like, so I'd like to ask for the favor of the queen who never was. I was like, God, that is a passive, aggressive nickname she got stuck with, huh? That's harsh. Yeah, it's like, oh, you're not the queen, wanna bone? Mm-hmm. I guess I can get you now, queen that never was, right? And she's like, Yeah, it's like, oh, you're not the queen one a bone. I guess I can get you now queen

that never was right and she's like, still got it. She has this way of talking with Jesser. I'm sure we'll see as the series goes on, but she only she keeps her top lip stiff and then moves only her bottom lip when she talks like this. She's like, my really still got it there. Yeah, she's great. Like, she's already my favorite and I want much more of her. I feel like we did not get nearly enough. We got too much little girl and too much. Oh, she'll be here. She'll be here. Oh, the book reader. Let me assure you. So, um, Damon's, it's his hat's a little much. Most of you honest, his hat's a little much. He's got like Dragon. It's like a drag race version of a Jast.

It's like, okay, put down the glue gun, okay. You've got enough detail on that. He's got like the wing. Now his horse looks badass, I think. Horse is amazing. That's something that looks great. Horse armor, yeah. So now, Ranera, she likes it's down with, oh yeah, Ranera is like now Ranera she likes it's down with oh

Yeah, Ranera is like now sitting she's with Allison There's a lot of royals here a lot of people whose name start with like ram here And so she's sitting with Allison and she's like no, it's talk with daughter is promised to that young Tali spa and then Allison's like no massive son. I'm like I Think I feel like this was like set up for something I had no idea what was going on. Yes, too much for me. It was like they're gossiping about everybody basically. Yeah, we had a here that she's called a bum,

a hot trass. Ooh. And so then it's uncle's turn to fight. And so he chooses. Sir Dwight, which I liked Dwight. There's a Dwight, I'm a low-town. So I thought his name was Sir Dwight. His name is Sir Dwight.

I'm going to stick with Dwight. That like Dwight works too. Dwight and her G. Damage uses Sir Dwight. That doesn't even sound the same. Well, makes more sense though. Queen is the Dwight of Westeros. You know, like that's a translate into Westeros. Thank you.

Dwight is Gwaine. That's supportive. Yeah. So, um, what's your buttons? Allocent is all worried. I'm not really sure why I guess you. There's like a hot guy there, right? I think there's a hot guy that is...

I can tell you some hot guy that we're talking about. He's from... There is a hot guy. I think the hot guy is Cole from storm, storm, wherever. No, I think Allison is worried because Allison does auto's daughter and this is auto's son, so it's like her brother. And so she's that's why. At first, I thought she was like, she had a crush on him,

but and she might, because you know, incest is really, and it's like a thing here, but like, I think this is where we roll on this show, yeah. Yeah, I think she was just concerned because it's her brother. Okay, so basically she gets flowers from Uncle, right? I don't know, there's a lot of jousting now, okay? Yeah, this is a big, well basically,

Damon is like, does a dirty move because Damon is jousting Gwain. And Gwain does a pretty good job, by the way, imagine if it really is Dwight, and I'm just being so obnoxious, keeps Gwain, everyone's like, oh my God. Not only is it not Dwight. So Damon attacks the horse that Gwain's on,

and so they all Gwain, or a horse. Yeah, that shit he's not a good sportsman, okay? He knocks down the horse's legs, and so the horse falls, and everyone's like, Wayne's on and so they all like Wayne. Yeah, that shit is not a good sportsman. Okay, he knocks down the horse's legs and so the horse falls and everyone's like, I love that it's like modern times, right? Because everyone's worried about the horse. So I think I'm gonna go to the horse and the horse is okay. Meanwhile, people are getting their heads bashed in with hatchets, you know, and they lose and the people are like, yes, that's awesome, but you heard a horse and the people like move fuck away and oh no the horse though

so yeah he cheats and then they go for another round and then this guy win like he smacks him and the prince is like foboom and he he's still on his horse but his body slams onto the pole that separates them and just drag he's dragged down the entire pole body slams onto the pole that separates them and just drag he's dragged down the entire pole and then falls off the horse. That was actually really cool. Well, actually, that's because, at that point, that was because that was when Damon was jousting the hot guy or the hot-ish guy, you know, who I think was coal of storm, whatever.

He's like this new one and Damon thinks he's gonna be like whatever, I'm just gonna kill this guy, but this guy does a really good job. So then, like after Damon's like being dragged along the railing and he falls off, then he's like, no, now I'd like to, I want to, let's do like, like melee combat, right? So now he's got a sword and the other guy has like a flail and so they're like, they're like battling back and forth and all like the everyone's all you know leaning in because they're excited

about what's gonna happen you know. Yeah and hot guy wins. Yeah. Hot guy wins which is great. Yes. So then we go now we start intercutting between the pregnancy right because the birth is happening now. So we cut to the queen, screaming bloody murder,

right, because she's having a really hard birth, and the baby is in breach, and so the king is called in, and he's like, well, do something about it, do something, and they're like, well, we've given her as many pop touch as we can, but that's as far as the medical community has gotten to at this point. So we've given us some milk of poppy, which is our way of saying we've gotten her high as a kite. And that's about all that we can do. So anyway, good luck. And we see people losing badly and like just hatcheting each other's faces and stuff and The aunt nurse Jackie's friend is like oh look at that the day growing ugly Hmm. I don't know if this is the best greater Celebrate a new baby bashing each other's heads in mutton in his father's mid-hawling Yeah, she's basically representing like the the wasp contingent of Westeros, so I really enjoy that It is fun as metal. This is what we were talking about. This is it. This is the moment to everyone. Parallels, parallels between them.

And so then eventually basically that, you know, that one of the, the doctor asks the maesters, mysters are like, says like to the king, look, you have to make a choice. You have to either choose between your wife or the baby or neither of them. And that's basically it. So then the king and one of them.

And you saw that one coming. I'm like, we all saw that coming. Well, I know what's gonna happen, right? But at the same time, it was like, oh, oh God. This scene was so rough, okay. So it's like, basically you sacrifice one or you lose them both, okay? So you're gonna kill your wife right?

And he's like, hell's bells. I think he said hell's bells. But he's like, but you can save the child. And he's like, well, we're gonna kill your wife right? And he's like, hell's bells. I think he said hell's bells. But he's like, but you can save the child. And he's like, well, we're gonna try. So what do you want? Make your decision right now. And so, of course he chooses the baby, you know? So the baby.

Because it's gonna be a boy as he predicted. So he's like all about like, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy. So then they have like the intercutting gets faster. And it's like this really vivid suggestive imagery of them like slicing into her womb and all it's like you know It's terrible. It was not it was not a triumph in terms of imagery But you know it's it's what had to happen and and then me while the other place Kristen Cole I think that's his name. Kristen Cole, Kristen Cole, the Feats Damon, and so it's like a whole thing.

But at the end after all this chaos, there's all this hubbub, this newborn boy has been cradled and it's like we finally have an air, it's like a bittersweet happily ever after for the king. But it's not. Because the baby died too. So then we go to we go to the funeral.

Yeah, the funeral right. So now we're at a mountain on the sea and everybody's there. There's like this dragon up the hill and we see the queen wrapped and then we see the little baby wrapped. And then a Damon comes in and he's like really sweet in the scene. He's talking to Ray Ray and he's like they're waiting for you and she's like oh I wonder if my father finally found happiness that he got to boy those few hours and he's like come on now your dad needs you more than ever. She's like but I will never be a son. And she decides to like be cool about it anyway.

So she calls the dragon down and then I guess they burn their dead. That's how that goes. It's a little over the top, if you ask me. I'm like, just use a match. But they're like, no, no, let's have a dragon these year and like, do duke Harris and like, do the full thing. But I guess you know tradition, tradition.

So now Who might have questions? Who might have questions our gear and traditions? I mean, you know listen We all have our different rituals So so now we're back in a council meeting and everyone's got their marbles on their plates and now the hand auto He's he's really I mean he's not a great hand if you ask me. He's really He has something urgent to discuss. He's like, I'm sorry. He's like, the recent tragedies have left you without an obvious air. I'm like, well, I think it was sort of that there was no obvious air to begin with if you ask me, but that's fine. Yeah, it's like, now we need to decide. We need to decide right now. And they're like, well, yeah, it's because he's on contest. Oh, well, good to stabilize the realm.

Have you heard about shipping people of furies about their Amazon? And then he's like, hey, look at your brother. He's an idiot. Look what he did with City Watch. All right, you know, it was ridiculous. And the King's like, you were the one who gave him the watch. You know, putting him in command after he fucked up

the Treasury, he got arrested for doing Coke in office at the Treasury. He fucked up literary. He fucked up the post office. got arrested for doing coke in office at the treasury. He fucked up literary, he fucked up the post office, no one got their mail. You were the one who made him the head of the coppers, now look at you, you're man, where will you go to? You put him in charge of the King's End, the Red Keep cafeteria, and all we got was meatloaf for like a month, okay, that was your choice. I didn't want him to be in charge of the cafeteria. I liked our food personally.

You said master of coins, okay? And you said he was a spender of that would beg other realm. Look, all I'm saying is he's not so bad, honestly. And he's like, yes, he is. And he needs to be kept far away from this court. He's like, back he's my brother. And then the old guy's like, but now it's him, so I've been consulting the moon gauge.

Oh, he's gay. Oh yeah, with the moon. Alright, so what does the moon, there's the same moon that said I was gonna have a little boy. Okay, continue, continue. Well technically it was quick. So if the god gives you more tragedy, either by design, or he's like, are you saying that my brother would murder me? Just go on and say that. Ah please, Damon, Damon would Damon murder someone?

No, he wouldn't even hide in a closet and listen to what everyone's saying. I'll cast a demon hiding in a closet, listening to it everyone. He doesn't even want the throne and it's like, that is hilarious. I'm killing you the first chance. I get you all Fucker. Are you saying my brother who just casually slaughtered a horse in front of an entire Body part that shall not be named stadium would kill me Are you saying that the same one with the literally evil outfit? He lit. There's an actual catalog I found in his room called evil clothing and he bought that from the evil clothing catalog.

I saw the receipt. Are you saying he would kill me? Damien can barely, barely keep his helmet from literally flying off of his head because he's put wings on it. You think he's gonna try and run a country? Whoa! The same man who altered all his underlings to run through the streets and chop off every dick and Testicle you think that man's gonna kill me. I mean the the lack of faith you have in our family Damon lacks the patience to be king and they're like, uh, yeah, you don't really need patience To be the most powerful person to the kingdom. Okay, everybody wants to be king sir

He's like really sucks for me actually. I really like it at all All right, well anything else to talk about and they're like well who else would have the claim besides him and They're like his firstborn child and they're like a woman You kidding Are you kidding? I heard it last second. You're saying? Hold on, I'm trying not to laugh when I say this. You want to put a lady on the throne. Have you truly con mad? I mean, this is crazy. This is the greatest.

And we live with dragons, and this is crazy. The only thing breaking through ceilings around here are the bonfires we hang from them. You've never done only in Norway. Oh God, that was a good laugh. Okay, who else has any good ideas? Anyone? Anyone at all? And he's like, you are not to make me choose between my brother and my daughter.

And then Coralus is like, well, there are other claims, you know, like, oh, let me guess, you're talking about your wife. Is that Jackie? I guess, is it your wife or Jackie? Let me guess, Kalameo Kalameo, when it comes to you, Carlos. He's like, well, aside from the fact that, that, Tricy, we'll beg our ports. Okay, Carlos, let's move it along.

She was my wife. That's the second best thing in, no, Jackie. So I'm just gonna put that out there, T key and the King's like my wife and son are dead I will not suffer Crows that come to feast on the causes I am I don't if I am going to make models of the Kingdom Goodbye. I know if anyone needs me I shall be with my like us. Thank you so So then we see So then we see Otto in his room blowing on wax for a stamp, you know, to shut a letter close and he sends a rave into old town straight away. And then Alessette comes in and she's

like, oh, hello, daddy. You know, she's upset, obviously. And he's like, oh, darling, how's Ranera doing? She's actually lost her mother. How do you think she's doing? She won't even read out the ripped out page of the- I mean! He's like, well, this and the Queen was love-rider. I found myself thinking of your own mother today and she's like, oh, that's sweet. So what can I do? He's like, go fuck the king. Go fuck the king right now. Where one of your mother's dresses? Alright, this is me being sensitive. Alright, fuck his brains out. Let's see how that goes. Might get a race. Might get a race. Oh, father, that was more of a rhetorical question, but do it. Okay. Very well. This is

deeply awkward. I will, I will do this as my father hores me out to the king. That's fine. That's fine. So else, bring your sexiest encyclopedia. All right. Bring your mother's sexiest dress that also looks like it could be a window fixture. Thank you very much. So, she shows up in like this big gown and the king is there making a model. But it's not the whole city. I mean, the whole city. We're going to say it's not a good model because that is a very good model. No, no, no. no, no. For a moment, I was gonna say, I was gonna make a stupid question. I was gonna say, was this the model that was in the opening credits of the original give-ins,

but that was not. That was the Citadel. Wasn't it, that was the Citadel, that whole thing, or that's where the lamps are. Who cares? So, he's making this crazy model, which is kind of, it's like, well maybe like what's going into this model?

Maybe that's, maybe there what's going into this model? Maybe that's maybe there's a connection between your Pussy Soar and the materials you're using in this crazy model. Also, maybe you- That's how we care about is your skin disease. Oh my God, you really need to get that jacked. Also, he's like, at one point he was like, you know, this city has been going downhill for the past 80 years.

I'm like, well, maybe you should spend less time on your model and more time with the people. How about that, sir? Every city, I mean, no matter what time you live in, everyone's like, this is the worst time ever. Everything sucks. So Alicadus is ready to seduce. She's like, hello, your grace. I brought a book. He's like, oh, okay. It's a favorite of mine. I do know how passionate you are for the history. Father, am I doing this right? No, stop on the top. All right, this is a favorite of mine. I know how much you love Sidney Sheldon.

He's like guilty, guilty, all right. So she sits while he plays with the model. And she's like, you know, when my mom died, no one really was truthful with me and all I wanted was for somebody to say that they were sorry for what happened to me. And she's like, and I am very sorry, your grace. And he's like, oh, and so then it was like weird love.

So, who knows what's going on with these crazy kids? Future child bride, I don't know. But then we have Damon, he's over at a brothel. And everyone, it's like a big orgy happening. And of course, it's like the prostitute that loves him is like, the king's soul, eh, once again, might we drink to our future?

I did everyone's like, the speech, speech, speech, speech. So Damon's gonna make a speech. And while he's starting to make a speech, we then cross cut to another meeting of the council where Otto is, he's pets. He's pissed because he's heard about the speech that we're seeing right now. Before we start your grace, I have a report I feel compelled to share. Last night, Damon

brought out Bottata, who a house, to entertain officers of the city watch, and then we cut back, and he's like like king and council have often rude by position but as they might I'm not easy to get rid of braw, braw, braw, braw, braw, braw, and then we cut back to the meeting and he's like yeah he tested your son and he called him the king for a day and I corroborated with lots of people from that bar or that brothel okay lots of hookers corroborated it with lots of people from that bar or that brothel, okay? Lots of hookers corroborated this, okay? He disordered that baby. I, I, I, I spent all night corroborating with,

with bearish hookers in different positions to make sure I got, I was merely corroborating. There was nothing else he said. Air for the day, full of corroboration, that's why I was there if anyone's asking, thanks so much, okay? And yes, my knob is sufficiently polished, thank you for asking. So then, now this is where I think that Damon might be getting a bad rap, because they

didn't really show him saying that, and it could be for a dramatic effect, right? Like, well, how did he say it? Because he could have been saying, like, and and now let's give a toast to the king for a day. You're just, you know, it's like something sense. It would be good a bit. A powerful moment. Yeah. Yeah.

But if you don't see it. So now all of a sudden, now the king is walked in is like, sorry, Damon is in like the throne room. The seris is like on the throne, getting more necks, of course. And he's like, did you say it? He's like, I don't know what you mean. You will address me as your grace. Or I will have the King's God cut out your tongue.

The air for a day. Did you say that? He's like, well, we almost mourn on the own where your grace. Gotcha, got you some pops like the own way your grace. Gotcha! Gotcha! You some pops like our gion, you get your grace. He's like my family has been destroyed, and instead of being near me and my models, you celebrated your own rise laughing with your horse. You have no eyes I call but me! Everything I've given you, you've done in my face! And he's like, but you throw me to the veil, you always give me some little part-time job somewhere, little ice cream scooper.

Oh, look at him, the new Alpha Stamp printer. Oh, look at him, he's leaving the army. Oh, now given the cops whatever, just keep him out of court. You literally said, I could eat meatloaf every day for the rest of my life, so you, that's what I did. That's all all I did I just answered your wishes Then I've had enough you have had enough of you okay So then he is basically like he's like really mad. He's basically like you know like He's like he's mad. He said this thing and the Damon is like well, you know what you've been king for 10 years And you never asked me to be your hand there. I said it and the king is like well, why would I do that? He's because I'm your brother. It's like well eyes He's like I see you high top for who he is and what he is he's like well it's like so non-wavering and loyal Han is like no he is I see you next Tuesday

he will inherit nothing he doesn't see himself and he's like hi towers are more honorable man than you could ever be he sent his daughter to read me Sydney Sheldon and it was twisty. All right. Oh, and he's like, the genitive on a bitch. Right, and demons like, well, he doesn't protect you. He goes from what protect me from whiting as yourself. You're weak for seris, and the council knows it, and they pray on you, and you're too dumb to see it, so suck my dick, how about that one?

And the king's like, oh really? Well I've decided on an heir. He's like me, right? I mean, this conversation's gone really well, I would assume it's me. Because I know at the end of the day we are family, you know we fight, that's what family does, right? So I'll still be there, right? And he's like, no, you go back to Roon Stone and he was, you should do so without Quarrel.

I'll go back to Roon down with your hatchet-faced wife and don't bitch about it by order of your king. Enjoy fucking sheep. He's like, all right, fine. So, and then like, after he leaves, the stairs look down at his hands, he's like, go to another cut. How could that have happened? It's like, because you're sitting on blade. Fucking sitting on knives, dude. So then we go to this scene with a giant skull of a dragon.

I mean, this thing is enormous. Grady, oh my gosh. I was like, wow, that's amazing. It just, I don't know. So yeah, there's a big, big, huge skull, dragon skull, and there's candles, which means that someone had to go down there beforehand and light all those candles, which is really obnoxious just to have the king put his hand through the flames. And by the way, some of them, I mean, the actual, there was an actual PA on this poor set of the show who had to light all these candles.

Oh, you know, it made their life. They're like, I was the cantalider on that subtraction. So I'm pretty big. I was pretty big guys. Yeah, so we're going to come in. And she's like, father. And he's like, now let me tell you, Valerian was the last creature to see Valeria before the doom. We're drowning. We're now spent four hours reading about on Wikipedia at all All right now when you look at the dragons. What do you see? What are you talking about you have nothing to expect to be since the funeral now? We're doing character

Character write-ups for the dragon seriously Sorry, they cut the scene where we talk so unfortunately we were just here at dragon talk anyway I'm asking this because you often smell like dragon which usually is a liability But today it really kind of works for this moment. So tell me what do you see when you look at it? What do you see because when I look at it I see a woman with somewhat curly but short hair coming to sing a song to her daughter That goes I had a dream father. Please not today. All right. It's a some actual meeting. We're having get to the point Listen father, everyone says Tugairans are closer to gods than men, but they say that because

of their dragons and without them we're just like everyone else. Alright, not quite the vibe I'm going for, I'm not trying to humble ourselves. I'm trying to get a little defeatist. That's a little defeatist. Alright, we're still pretty close to gods. Okay, let's be honest. Okay, we have a pretty damn honest. Okay, but pretty damn close Okay, did you see me putting my fingers through the candles can normal men do that? I don't I don't think so God I'm really rethinking this decision right now. I know so does that mean that they they are fireproof damn they show So he's like well the idea that we control the dragons is an illusion. There are power man should never have trifled with. Like slinkies or corn syrup or...

Well, no. ... too much gene modification. Yes. Meatloaf over consumption. You know, too much of a good thing is not a good thing. It turns out. Tell me about it. They wouldn't even do a turkey version for me.

I know. I know! I know! And if we treat the dragons the same, it's the same things can happen to us. We're all fucking meat. Alright, we're all gonna be basic kebabs. At the end of the day, and the kinglies understand that. All the queen. Now listen, I'm sorry I always wanted to son, I'm sorry I always preferred a cock to that thing between your legs that we're not supposed to talk about, alright? But I did build the entire stadium to celebrate it and die, she's like, that's true.

Now are you making points? Carry on. You are the best of your mother, whatever her name was, and I believe it and I know that she did, I assume I don't really talk to her or talk to her, but you know, whatever. So anyway, I've- mostly we just talked about bathwater To be honest. Yeah, I'm sure she would think you'd be a good queen as well. Yeah, so yeah, you want to do it So she's like she's like but Damien's your air and you're like no Damien was not meant to wear the crown, but I believe

you are so Then we sort of like moved directly into like the ceremony where people are like it's been announced and people are pledging their fealty to her as the new heir. Yes. So coreless is, you know, basically they all make their vows to the heir. You know, I shall defend her against all enemies without deceit after she listens to my story about the triarchy.

Oh, God, that's a tri- Listen, this is not the time on the place, okay? So, like, while this is all happening, we're getting like little, I feel like, little things is like, oh, I am from house Barantheon and I pledge my loyalty. Oh, I am so-and-so, I am so-and-so. We're seeing all these, I feel like little things is like oh I am from house Barantheon and I pledge my loyalty Oh, I am so-and-so I am so-and-so We're seeing all these I feel like we're getting a lot of characters layering in here pledging their loyalty and meanwhile

Damon is up with a dragon and the his like lover the prostitute lady She comes in and he's like look put your hand on the dragons jaw isn't that amazing? She's like wow I did just wash my hand though. So I kind of don't love doing this right now. Okay, a little slimy, but cool. Very cool. Yeah. And one guy who comes up to give his vows is like, I don't want to give my vows to someone with something that I'm not supposed to talk about. And she just gives him this look like, you want to fuck with me? Motherfucker, get on your fucking knee. He's like, alright, I'm on my knees now, I got two, I got two, fine, fine.

So then meanwhile, it's like we're still also, it's like we're also in the dragon room. It's like both teams are happening at once. He's like, by the way, now that I've decided that you can be queen, you know, even though you have the thing that shall not be mentioned between your legs. I forgot to mention, there's a little secret that you should know. So, member A-Gahn, yeah. So, he had a dream and he'd like, basically, it was like a wintery dream, very cold, not like my dreams, my dreams are like fun. He's a cold and he said there's gonna be a terrible winter gusting down out of the north and we'll all have to come together She's like I and I already saw the I already saw game of the rooms. I know what happens. You don't have to tell me dad

All right, we'll just go with me anyway or X we've got a whole show to do here All right father go ahead. He's like well, we didn't move here just for shits and giggles All right, we moved because he had a nightmare that we were all gonna die all right And so we needed to unite with these we unite the kingdoms against whitewalkers, and it has to be a blonde person, which naturally is us, right? So, I think you should do it, you know, just make sure that you only trust blonde people. Do you understand? It's queen, and she's like, all right. now he named his dream, the song of fire and ice. I'm sorry, he named his dream.

Do people name dreams? I didn't know that that was the thing that they do, that well, he did it. Because it seems a little strange. Should we maybe trust a dream so much? Well, you know what? Let's just, it has a nice sound to it. So let's just go with it, song of fire and ice, OK?

Thank God. But what's the name of your old dream? You already know the name of my dream. I had a dream that's the name of your old dream? You already know the name of my dream. I had a dream that's the name of your dream. It's a great song, really is. Is it about a castle in the clouds? Well, yeah, but naturally they go together. It's two songs for one dream, okay?

And then we see Damon flying up on his dragon as the king hereby names Ray Ray, Princess of Dragon Stone and it, the Iron Throne, and then Ray turns around. It looks kind of forlorn, but then the game of Thrones music starts coming in and the dragons are screeching and she just looks at the camera like, nailed it, bitch. Yes, very, very. And then we get this new version of the Game of Thrones theme that's like kind of real housewives assault like city with the choir.

It's like, ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho scale or something like that, but yeah, it was cool. I actually enjoyed it. I liked it. It was very fun. It gave me all the Game of Thrones feels. I'm on board for wherever it takes us. I don't care. I'm definitely into it. I loved pretty much everybody in it. I don't think anybody sucked in it. You know, first off, I was like, all right, it's the council. I'm a lot of the poor that's in love with the guy who's eventually going to use the guy and screw him over. You know, like you see and then I'm a little more. A lot of people. A lot of people. A lot of people. A lot of people. A lot of people. A lot of people. A lot of people.

A lot of people. A lot of people. A lot of people. A lot of people. A lot of people. A lot of people. A lot of people. A lot of people.

A lot of people. A lot of people. A lot of people. A lot of people. A lot of people. A lot of people. A lot of people. A lot of people.

A lot of people. A lot of people. A lot of people. A lot of people. A lot of people. And like that works with nuts being cut off, you know, yeah, got Mabby with force castration. Okay. Yeah, it's like if someone gave Mrs. Pat more like some legal authority and like that's what it was. That's what it is. So I'm down. I'm excited. I'm excited for the season. So thank you all for being here for listening.

And first of all, as we were watching, we appreciate it. We'll be back every Monday with recaps of this crazy show. And of course, be sure to catch Watcher Crapins too if you are into everything on Bravo. So until the next time, bye everyone. Bye. Hey, prime members. You can listen to Watcher Crapins

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