Watch What Crappens - Winter is Crappening: Winter is Here, Betch!

Episode Date: April 15, 2019

Game of Thrones return for season 8 with lots of shade in these cold times. Sansa gives stink eye to Daenerys, Lady Marmont reads Jon Snow, and Brandon darkly cruises the entire kingdom. Find bonus episodes, merch, and live show dates and ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com and follow us on Insta @watchwhatcrappens and Twitter @whatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off, voice only. Launching during pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Winter is Croping! I'm Ronnie Carrum and that's been over there, Hi, Bian. Hey, what's going on? Guys, we have another podcast called Watch It Crappens. Go listen to that if you like a bunch of bravo trash talk. Yeah, today we're here to talk Game of Thrones the Return!

Oh my god, how exciting the show is finally back and everyone's buzzing about it. And I'm really excited to jump into all this madness. Well, you know, marijuana became legal in California the past couple of years. And I'm thinking, I'm trying to think of when the last season was on because I just did a rewatch of the entire show. And I was like, was I stoned the entire last season

because I didn't remember half the shit that happened. So watching the last season again has just been so great because I didn't remember half the shit that happened. So watching the last season again has just been so great because I didn't remember stuff. Yeah, well, I mean, I'm fortunate in that I binge the entire series back in September, much like you did in anticipation of this podcast. So most of the stuff is pretty fresh in my head. And on top of that, on Friday, I had this really ambitious idea that I was like, you know what I'm going to do for everyone who was like not caught up, I had this really ambitious idea. I was like, you know what I'm gonna do for everyone who was not caught up, who wants to follow along.

I'm gonna do a primer and I started writing it. And I was like, Ben, just do high level broad strokes, no problem, but I can't help myself. And then six hours later, I have gone to every minute detail on all these people and I was only halfway done. And I was like, I don't even know, I don't even know why I barked up that tree, but I barked up it. And I'm gonna try to finish it.

But- That's an insane tree to bark up. Okay. It was a huge tree. It was like the sort of tree that brand, it's like the tree that brand was living in when he was like turning into a three-odd Raven. It was that big of a tree. You try to climb that tree and it starts crying blood.

Oh my God. And there was so much brand this episode, I don't know. Um, I love a man who can remain calm and stressful situations, okay? But he's like, I'll show you about it. He's like, yeah, look how calm I am in a stressful situation. He's like trying to be like the strong silent type. Shut up, man. Um, he is the three I'd Ravens, sir, okay? Apparently that's what that's just how they are, okay? It's like, oh, so now just because you went to Burning Man once we're supposed to call him the three-eyed Raven, no.

Yeah, totally. That's his Coachella community. Yeah, that is basically, he's like, oh yeah, did you go to the Raven tent? Yeah, it was amazing. I saw Flume. Yeah, it was a very emo, Brandon episode. And I'm used to my psychics on Bravo,

smoking like a vape pen and just saying really bitchy things. So it's weird to have a psychic and kind of like a bowl cut, just kind of sitting there and just pretty for a jacket. It's just giving everyone shady looks. Yeah, but I will say before we launch into this, that I'm like really excited because this is the first time that there's been a game of Thrones episode Where I've been current with the rest of the world, you know because as I said before I only just recently

Binge the whole series and and prior to that I was always I was always like Carrying away from Game of Thrones spoilers because I was perpetually being like oh my god No, I'm gonna watch it. I'm gonna watch it. Don't say I don't spoil I'm gonna watch it and people are getting so mad because it's been like seven years of me saying that and so like to finally have like Now like I don't have to worry about the spoilers necessarily or be that person It's like really a wonderful experience for me. Well, that's a problem with shows like this and also I guess kind of the blessing But everyone else hasn't seen them and you're not a lot of spoils stuff So you feel like you're an occult, you know, it's like dinner party who watches Game of Thrones and everybody else goes inside

Like you just said that you're like at the first level of slyern geology. Well, I was the one who always like ruined so many dinner parties because it'd be like people who'd be like, oh my God, did you see Game of Thrones? It's like, you guys, I haven't watched, I'm going to watch the show. So please no spoilers. And I'm like, well, how far are you? I'm like, I haven't started yet.

Like, come on. It's like 2017. Yeah. I think there should be a moratorium on yet. So like, come on, it's like 2017. Yeah, I think there should be a moratorium on that. Or you can just say, you know what? Sorry, you didn't watch it soon enough. You're spoiled now. Yeah.

Well, I will say that someone, I had two major spoilers in my years leading up to game watching Game of Thrones. One was that when the red wedding happened and everyone was like, oh my God, the red wedding, it's the most insane thing that ever happened. So that was when I was first going to be like, you know what, I'm going to watch Game of Thrones because everyone's talking so much. I'm going to watch this. And then I was on the West Hollywood free trolley headed into the, uh, headed over to the Abbey. And there was this like little twink on this on this trolley and he's like, oh my god.

Did you see Game of Thrones? So like his friends and they're like, no, we haven't seen the get he's like, oh my god. There is this thing called the red wedding. And I was like, oh my god, he's going to spoil it. And he spoiled the entire red wedding on the West Hollywood trolley. I'm so mad. That is such that's so fun though. That's like such a fun way to get spoiled on the gay, the gay trolley to West Hollywood

gay bars. There's like a bowl fun way to get spoiled on the gay trolley to West Hollywood gay bars. There's like a bowl of free condoms by the door and there's just some twink probably in a crop top like she got stabbed in the stomach. That was crazy. That's basically what it was. I was like, I'm never writing this free bus again. So man, the hottest start batch. And then the other time I was hanging out with my friend Rachel who's from New Zealand.

And she's like, so did you see that King Joe free got killed? I was like, I'm like, I'm like, God, that was glorious to see again. Yeah, but I was very like, it was like, it was like, it was a spoiler out of nowhere. Yeah, well, you know, that's just what happens people. Okay, watch your shows. Yeah, watch your shows,, that's just what happens people. Okay, watch your shows. Yeah, watch your show It's about with your stories, but but the good news is that like The should game of Thrones survives even when you have spoilers. It's still really good

Yeah, it's still shocking how they do it, you know, yeah Yeah, yeah, so this one opens with the brand new opening which I love because it was kind of like a remodeling show You know how like on HGTV they've already done every kind of remodeling show there is. And now they're like trailers, you know, or like a house just the size of a coffee can or whatever. And they remodel them. And this one's like Game of Thrones basements. Because I guess everything's gonna have to take place

in a basement because, you know, the walkers are above. So we get to see everybody's house and I'm so into it. Yeah, I was really surprised by that because when we saw the opening credits, immediately I felt like something was different. Normally I feel like the sword is all on fire and like, whoa, and this time it was a very muted and it was actually like it had been

on one of those home renovation shows. They're like you know we're gonna do a slate pat a slate a slate look for your living room you know I just have some pops of color and stuff like burning fire you know yeah we're gonna do an open concept thrown room so what we're thinking about for your catacombs is that we actually just want to open them up and we want to make them like a catacombe but also place you can rent out and also place when you're in laws come and it's just like a great space for the family Yeah, you're dead bad could be your dad dad or a cut rack, you know, so over here where we have a statue of your long lost aunt We decided to move her to the sides that we could put in a nice family space

The crypt is now the mud room at at at the crypt is now the mud room at at and how they have all the little tiles turning on the floors. I don't know. It's like well you see you first come in through the broken wall right because that mother fucking dragon the asshole dragon broken. I know you know that's the thing about

this show by the way that pisses me off. Okay I can't go too off but do it. It's like the whole thing is about protecting the wall and it's down in five minutes. Yeah. I mean, who thought of making a wall out of ice anyway? I mean, couldn't they have used like a stronger material? Maybe it's, I mean, I know there's magic.

Yeah. It's like watching the caveman movie and then suddenly someone has a machine gun. It's like, well, that's not fair. You know, I've invested in this whole movie. You can't just show up with a machine gun. It's actually very empowering, Ronnie. I mean, have we learned nothing about the Berlin wall? You know, so many years, it divided a city, and all it took was a little bit of willpower for it to come down. Oh, God, Ronald Reagan standing outside the white wall.

Ronald Reagan is the night king. Oh, God, we're gonna make people mad. Ronald Reagan is calling the night king. It's like, listen here, Mr. Night King, you better bring down this wall. So I also wanted to say the tiles are changing over and ever. So we come through the wall and then like the flooring starts to change. And I was like, this is our property brothers. It's like property brothers. I'm and do it. Yeah, although those tiles made a whole lot of noise.

Like I felt like a half of the opening press was like, I was like, okay, these tiles have to calm down. They should. TV makes you think changing your flooring is easy and it's not. Yeah, it's not. But yeah, I guess maybe we're just not going to as many far-flung lands anymore because in the past we'd go to like, would you winter fell then King's Landing and then you'd go maybe to like I don't know Slavers Bay or you know Castorly Rock but this time they're just like we're just really gonna go to like Winterfell Kings Landing and then like a place called the last her and Ross Wouldn't that be amazing if there's just a Ross that showed up guys winters here time to get your name winter coats

It's Burlington coat factory. That's where they go. We also sell other things. And then you go into the burlington, then you go downstairs and just use them staffers on break checking their text messages. We also, by the way, the opening credits did because it also went into King's landing and it went like in King's landing and it went like in King's Landing and it ended at that at the Iron Throne, which was like the first time at that was like where it all ended. Yeah, the whole opening was near. It was really, really good, really well done guys. Okay. Yeah, nice. And it was like.

It was sitting at home, wondering what it been and Ron, to think about our new opening. Well, it was great. And I would like to congratulate the property brothers and Ross for his product placement. I also want to congratulate the lady from Love It Or Listed who clearly this has her fingerprints all over it. She's like, I'm just. Who are you? I went to drink a big jug of water, okay. I was like, wait, what happened?

I'm watching Game of Thrones, so now I'm drinking out of my big giant water jug like yeah I was so I was so confused. I was about to make a page Davis joke and then suddenly you went silent Don't bring page Davis into it. Okay trading trading West roses It's Cersei Cersei and Sansa have to like redecoratedecorate their thrown rooms. Yeah, out of like goat guts or something. And Bage Dave is just keeps coming back and forth to annoy them. Okay, damn it. We're gonna do this. Okay. So, so now like after this opening credits, which by the way, we should also mention the opening credits were very great.

While we said there was a great tone, which I think it's supposed to allude to the fact that winter has arrived, right? Yeah, winter, winter arrived a long time ago. Yeah, but I'm just saying it's like now official, because it's supposed to allude to the fact that winter has arrived, right? Yeah, winter has arrived a long time ago. Yeah, but I'm just saying it's like now official because it's in the opening credits. Yeah. Okay. I'll go with that. So everything opens up with, like you see a child like running in the snow and he's like running amongst soldiers and trying to get a view of what's going on. And in my mind, I was wondering,

who is going to be the first character that we see? And I was pretty surprised that the first one we saw was actually Aria Stark, got the first big moment on screen. Yeah, she had that moment where she sing all the characters she knows come through town in a parade. She wasn't asked to walk in. Yeah, what's up with that? She could have just faked it.

She could have just taken someone's face and been like, guess what? I'm in the parade now and Daenerys and John are with their troops marching through and everyone's just you know kind of watching It's kind of a boring parade but it beats the El Paso Easter parade Yeah, certainly better than the Cotona fire truck parade. I'm immorial day. That's for sure. Yeah, there is no Viva El Paso truck passing by but yeah, I do think that it's sorely missed and inflatable Garfield that would have really Brought it all together. I know we have Snoopy on the house

I wish Yeah, we could have had like Al Roker just like sitting there in this now giving commentary with like Yeah, I don't have to go to fanning or something Yeah, Kathy Lee singing some bullshit song on roller skates. You care. Okay. Clearly clearly seeing to track as she enters Winterfell So I love that on this show the boy even like the The various and Turian are talking about balls. You know, that's how the episode starts. They're driving. Well, they're not driving, but they're in that buggy thing. And Turion's right. Well, at least you would freeze your poles off.

Oh, I was like, that is so rude. And he's like, why do you keep making jokes about that? Like, I'm a unique. Like, why do you keep making fun of me? And endurance, like, because basically, I have balls in you don't, which is so catty. So catty. Yeah, and Venerys is really losing, or Venerys, what is wrong with me? Neereal.

I know, I've made sure to spell out every name, but then I'm second guessing myself, because I might used to sing them spelled out, so that makes sense. Yeah. So you said, you know, I'm second guessing myself because I might used to sing them spelled out. So that makes sense. Yeah. So you know, I'm surprised he wasn't shady here because that's my favorite shady queen on the show. And it's not just because he's my twin.

Yeah. Well, maybe now that little finger is dead, he can't be quite as shady because he's like shadiest when he plays off of little finger. Well, this is a huge lesson of modern time Twitter. You know how like really pretty people go on Twitter. Like let's say Ariana Grande goes on Twitter. Okay. I mean fat, stupid, change your hair.

Like everyone's so mean. That's how I feel like the crowd was when they saw Dinaris for the first time. It's like some hot blonde lady in the best dillards for a coat ever. It's like perfectly tailored. Like she looks amazing. And then the poor people are like, we don't have dentists. So, thank you. Yeah. okay? They were so rude. Yeah, she she was very too swift as she came in You know like she was like singing along to someone else who was singing you're like um, it's not your moment

I was also very upset that like I've we saw I feel like everyone in this parade. I mean, it was a full on parade. I mean, Greyworm had a moment and then the lady who's like with Greyworm, got the moment, got a moment. I'm like, everyone got a moment, but Brianna of Taras, where was she? She wasn't here the entire episode. She wants to ask for more money.

They're pulling like some housewives' sit on her where they're like, fine, you can have more money per episode because you're sitting three out. Yeah, she's a friend of the Starks now. He's a friend of the Starkes now. Is a friend of. By the way, one thing that I forgot about with Lady of Grey,

Greyworm, I forgot her name, but I was watching an episode from like the last season. And God, you know what she, why she would really drive me nuts is because it got to the point with her when any time Daenerys came on screen.

She was like, Daenerys, mother of dragons, daughter of Targon, lover of lavender, uh, Eta of macaroni, woman who has dresses, has three punches, I'm gonna separate punch cards. Swiffer of floor, clay that's plug in Noah of Jodobug Like okay, you don't take give us the entire Wikipedia entry Twirka off twirky Alright calm down over there collector of rocks and pebbles and occasionally seashells Yeah, Daenerys is pretty full over itself at this point like I dragons, but you're basically driving three nukes around the skies, okay, you need to be nicer to people. But to be fair also, like the Winterfell people,

they need to take a seat, okay, because they have been so cranky for much of the show, and I get it, they had been invaded, and they had terrible people who like ruled them, but like, how many times do they have to be convinced to rally to a cause? I mean, they're just like constantly like going back on their plan. They're just sneering at people at outsiders like, you know, you guys, like, you guys are no great shakes. Okay, like, these people

are here to save you and you're gonna get to nearest that thing guy. I don't think so, peasant lady. Yeah, peasant lady. You know what this town needs? A crossfit, okay? Everybody needs to get together and workout and better themselves and stopping so gel. Yeah, please, please. Yeah, so we go to Winterfell and John C's ran for the first time. And you know what, Brann, I get that you're the three I'd rave in now and you're emotionally disconnected

or whatever the hell's going on with you emotionally, okay? Emo, but someone needs to tell him, at least pretend you're happy to see people look happy to see be fake, okay? Just be fake just be like hey brother. I haven't seen you in years. I'm like way homely or now Like you're even a homely or now. You're way cuter as a kid Like it's on you to be nice to people and make them feel welcome everyone comes up to him and hugs him and he's like make them feel welcome. Everyone comes up to him and hugs him and he's like, wow, wow, I'm the three odd right now. Yeah, he's like just because you have like clairvoyant powers, this is not mean that you have to be devoid of personality. Because John Snow comes over. He hasn't seen this guy in forever.

He's so happy. He knows John Snow is having the best episode. He's just like just so happy to see everyone. He gets amazing news at the end. It's just like a great hour for him. Okay. He comes up. He sees, he sees Bran who's sitting there in his wheelchair-esque thing. He comes up and goes, look at you, you're a man. And Bran goes, almost. Shut up, Bran, how about you say hi?

How about you say, oh thanks, that was really nice of you. Or hey, you look great. Oh, I'm so glad you're alive. How about, I'm so glad you're alive. Yeah, how about not giving your brother another reason to cry? Cause that pitch cries 20 times an episode. And I don't need to see John Snow like do his shaky face, squinty cry thing right now. Okay. Yeah.

Also, brand as long as you're like not being personable, why don't you just be like, Oh, now that you're here, let me tell you something. Um, you're actually the son of that target, Reagan, Targaryen, and you're actually the true air. So welcome back. How about just do it now? Yeah, get it out of the way. He's like, well, he won't trust me as much as he trusts you, Sam. I'm like, yeah, because you're acting like a little bitch, you know? Yeah, go back to playing Overwatch. Go back to Fortnite with your friends. Loser. Yeah. Yeah. So John's looking around. He's heard that Arius back. So John's looking around.

He's heard that Arias back. So he's looking around and Sansa's like, she's lacking some hat. Sansa, you too, by the way, young lady. Like, what are you so miserable about? A woman who's happy enough to craft that dress for herself should have the bigger smile on her face. If I could craft like that,

I would be the smileiest bitch in town. Sansa's really turned into a monster in her own way. I mean, like Sansa, let's not forget that like half of the issues that people have dealt with are because you told your dad like, Oh, no, please, I want to marry Joffrey. I want to be queen. Please on the confession. And now look where we are. Okay. So just like, like, how about you don't shade your sister? Okay, how about you just say, welcome back.

Here's some grog and like a piece of veal, especially you and your sister should be totally bonded. Now you just murdered somebody together in public. I mean, that has to be the most freeing shit ever. You know what? Sansa basically did the thing that we see all the time on the real house. So what is that? Basically, um, she and Ari are like, we're cool.

We're great. Everything is good. We're just moving forward. And then the very next scene, she's like, we're cool. We're great. Everything is good. We're just moving forward. And then the very next scene, she's like, you know what? Fuck Ariya. It's like, well, yeah. She's that girl in school that you just assume is going to be nice because she makes her own dresses, but she's really a bitch.

And you're like, why is that girl a bitch? She makes her own dresses. Yeah, because she's like, got the lead and like the production of Oklahoma that's happening in your junior year. So you think like, well, surely she's like, got the lead in like the production of Oklahoma that's happening in your junior year. So you think like, well, surely she'll be nice because she knows what it's like to be made fun of and you know, all us made fun of kids are in drama club now. And we were all going to be like happy family. But then she's like a bitch.

And you're like, but I thought we were cool. Yeah. So then John introduces her to Daenerys and Daenerys is like making an effort. You know, she's like, yeah, she's trying. I mean for Daenerys considering usually she's like, you either banjo near as beautiful as promised, as are you. And Tant is like, she's a liar. This place is disgusting. I know she's lying. She's like, enjoy the slime and guts covered walls. Winterfell is your show graze. Have you talked with Bran?

He's great. He's really into Led Zeppelin now. I think he's so original about it. And then Bran, like the least energetic narrator I've ever seen in my life is like, hello, tonight King has your dragon. He's one of theirs now. The wall has fallen to dead March South.

All right. Is it dinner? Oh, who's looking after Brand now, by the way? Because as far as I can tell, they just put him in that courtyard at the beginning of the episode. He just stays there the entire time. And yet every time someone walks into the courtyard, they're always surprised to see him like,

oh look, that was a brand. He's got the same assistant guy as the dead Bolton kid. What was his name? You know, the one that got eaten by the dogs. Ramsay. Ramsay Bolton. That's sick. Oh really?

Yeah, his assistant that was like ever abused is now helping brand brand because they took over Winterfell and you know, that's just so how this show is. It's like, you know, you're abused by one guy and then you get stuck with brand. It's like, yeah. Yeah. Do I ever move up in the world? Is there a human resources at Winterfell? Like, what the fuck? I want to know what happened to Mira because she had the best situation which is that she just got rid of him. She just was like, you know what? I'm just taking my chances in the forest.

All those tree people, by the way, we'll get to them another time. So now we have like some sort of like council meeting, you know, that they're in that like dreary ass hall that they have when they have to discuss matters of Winterfell. and there's like a little boy who's like when it horses and wagons over for the notch king a day day day you know yeah it's a little child lord she's like listen here five-year-old when can we expect your whole people is like anything she's like oh

already went shopping and you know that Daenerys is like, well, actually, I've got horses and wagons, but she's like, I don't want to over set my balance because I try to get Amon Sansa. Oh, and then my personal queen, and I cannot believe we didn't bring her up in the pre-pop music. I cannot believe it because she's my favorite,

but I hadn't watched the later seasons yet in my rewatch. Lady Mama. She's like, you're great. You're great. watch. Lady Marmal. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. you're grace. Yeah, that's true. But like, I don't know, I feel like the younger generation came with Thrones, they just really have an attitude, you know? Yeah.

And I mean, how did some things bring shame when you're a house, but not the other things? Like rape and murder is fine, you know? Yeah. But like trying to, I don't remember what Dora tried to, tried to, tried to poison someone or he was like, he was told to do something. He was a slave trader. I guess that was a failure.

Oh, that was, I thought he was a slave. I never really found his backstory to be terribly compelling. He was a mercenary. Yeah, yeah, slave, a slave is mercenary slave. I don't know. But either way, like, Liana, her name is Liana, right? Liana Marmont. She's like, really, this knit about the fact that someone calls, uh, John Snow, your grace is like, your

grace, your grace, what you're not, yeah, I know. You left Winterfell King and came back up, not even show what you are now. A lord, nothing. You're not. Geez. Jesus, congratulations on your 50 horses or whatever the fuck you have little girl, okay? Yeah But you need to calm your ass down now that said she's my favorite and I hope she wins the throne Yeah, no, I I really felt so terrible that we left around a little character preview because she really deserves a spotlight Yeah, and John's like it's not important to what my title is shit. Oh really? They're mine me phone on it.

And there's like a lot of when I was in to bring it back to drama club, but when I was in like the seventh grade play, our like drama teacher, I was always like, you know, in extra. I always had one line and they would just be walking around the background like pretending to like, you know, like shine like time I shoe, you know, and do things like that. And so anytime something happened and we're background players in order to be like, oh, we're upset about something. We always have to go, rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb. So that's what was happening in the scene a lot of rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb. What a melancholy pine.

So John's like, and then I wrote a, uh, oh, a John speech. Okay, listen guys love John love his hair Hate the needs always about to cry. Hate the least. They'll can't grow real beard Also, I hate John speeches sick of John speeches. Okay, John should not have to give you a speech every five minutes Okay, get control of your lives you guys get a job get a hobby start making John kiss speeches He's like it was the honor of my life When you gave me the honor of being the keen I Had the choice of keep my crown or protect the North and I chose to protect the North Greenfield He's like we need to regulate brand scooters. We need to be. Also, by the way, he came back with like two dragons

that are friends with like Winterfell. Like I think that's pretty cool. I think that like, I think we should be happy with that. You know? And questions about these dragons. How do you steer them? How do you tell them where they're going in the first place? How do they know?

Just like, how do you keep them from eating all the peeps? Like, how do you steer them? How do you steer them? How do you steer them? How do you tell them where they're going in the first place? How do they know just like how do you keep them from eating all the people on the ground? It's not like you can just tell them. I don't know. We'll get to their own thing. I mean, it's, I mean, you know, it's like what Sans has like, I mean, how do you even feed a dragon? Am I everyone? Am I, Am I right? Am I right? To be your second to eat if they want it. Yeah, because they get real bit too with each other. Casturion's like, yes, we must fight together now. Or die.

Everyone, let's listen to John's speech. He's like, should I make a balls joke? I've got plenty of them. He's like, now I know that you don't really like me, but you know, John's a great guy and I think we should support him and also the Nana's are coming. So anyway, great day, great day. And it's so bitchy. It's like my mom's biggest complaint. Like when she's like, does anybody need anything from the store and we're like, Maaal? Yeah, I'm not saying I don't want anything. And there were like's my cereal? It's like I just asked you what you want in the store because she's like me I ask how we are meant to feed the knowledge just all me already went to the store

What do dragons even eat like she's all bitchy about the dragons and to nearest just looks at her like whatever they want bitch Okay, I've been nice to you. This is the nicest. I've been to anybody in my entire life. Okay. Don't shape me She's like um in case you haven't noticed, uh, I've been walking around with this giant ass army for about seven years and last time I checked actually none of them eat anything. So don't worry about it. That's true, too. They never do. Yeah. Um, I'm not saying that. Okay. You're less than everybody. Yeah. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's commercial. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on

parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone.

So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So we see, um, Gandry, that's not Gandry, right? Gandry, um, he's like, he's like, you know, he's making stuff with dragon glass. And then we see, uh, Tyrion, he walks over to Sansa.

And he's like, where the last time we spoke was at Jeffries, Jeffries wedding, miserable affair. And she goes, hmm hmm it had its moments I thought his base is like an old theater green on the show that's what this is turned into I'm totally here for it. Oh my god. I love it. I love it. I feel like I'm in Palm Springs So like sorry for leaving so fast leaving you to be murdered by your father. It's like yeah Yeah, well, you know, we all do what we got to do. She's like, yep, we survived. I got a hard oil treatment. My hair's got an adorable cut. And I was given enough fabric to make this beautiful dress. Yeah, exactly. And so they just have a conversation where he's basically like, oh, people didn't

just didn't think you would survive. And she's like, oh, you think your sister says she's going to send an army, yes, Yes, stupid whatever. So they're talking Yeah, and then for me what was significant is that they have this whole little conversation and at the end They like look out over the edge and brand is just down there in the courtyard staring at them like stop it brand Yeah, stop cruising brand. Okay, the dead people are coming Oh awkward So then John and the bloody eye tree, John and the bloody eye tree, the eyes are bleeding.

Get running, like that's kinda how it works. So, Gary and John have this family, you know what, how did this family ever have fun? I know that everybody has gone through a lot, I know that this family has gone through a lot of shit on this show, but everybody's gone through a lot of shit on this show, okay, find some joy in life. Everybody talks to each other and this family's like,

hello, steep it, hello, ugly. Ha, ha, just kidding. You got two ha ha from me. Let us hug gently. Well, that's kind of funny because yeah, because so, Aria finds John at the tree and then they, it's like, she's like, gruff at first, but then they hug.

And then it's actually, it was so sweet because she was like, really smiling. And I feel like she hasn't smiled in about five seasons. So that was really nice. But then what I'd loved was this totally passive aggressive moment that was supposed to be enduring where John's like, oh, needle, you still have that thing. She's like, yeah, I still have it.

It's like, you ever used it once or twice? And she likes showing it. She's like, yeah, I said I have it. You ever used it once or twice and she likes showing it. She's like, look, it's needle. It's like, oh, cool. Look at this. Valerian steel. Jealous. Like, shut up, John. I don't have a moment with needle. He's like, where were you before? I could have used your help. The Sansa cry eyes, cry eyes. Oh, she's torturing me eyes. She thinks she's smarter than everyone. I like that this devolves into disabling fights like the end of last season that I can mean sister you are I was thinking you're pretty of everyone else. Alright, let's kill someone together. Let's do it.

And then they're back to like hating each other at breakfast. Yeah, exactly, you know, I just like she's the smartest person I ever met just kidding. She's an idiot. I hate her Listen to her soft heart well and John's like you're defending her now. Come on She'll come defending our family and so is she News like I'm a family to I'm don't you ever forget it Worm hugs Worm hugs

First or fierce on the show by the way Everyone has such a beautiful fear for and I know we're not supposed to wear first any more and stuff. But God, I admire him when I see him. I'm like, that was a hot bear or whatever died. Yeah. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful winter fell for us. You know, condition has a lot. You know, someone like takes the bear and I don't bite me set. I'm putting you through a conditioning treatment. Is it odd that none of the houses have a bear as their sigil?

I feel like there should be one bear. I mean, the Tarels were like a fucking rose. Okay, can't someone be a bear? It feels like a bear, it feels like the Baratheon should be a bear. Maybe because their name is Baratheon. I would never be in it, mm-mm. I would never be in it, mm-mm. I just think that there should be a bear, especially because there was a prominent bear in the

show at one point. I mean, the prominent bear is started off this show. It was Robert. That's a bear. And then it was Ned. I mean, that's a big old bear. Raw. Yeah.

So I don't know. Okay. So then Cersei is with her hand. Q. I just call him Q. Yeah. She's with her hand and he's like, I'm afraid I bring tabernoo's miss the dead. I've broken through the wall. It's like, ah, hello.

Yeah, she's like, good. She's like that person. You're like, oh my god. Did you hear that restaurant that beloved restaurant that's been around for 35 years? It's closing down because they raised the rents on them. And she's like, good. Didn't like them anyway. So she's terrible. I love her. I hope she wins. So while she's doing that, while she's like happy to hear that the wall has collapsed. We then go to the one

of the Greyjoy's boats, the Iron Fleet, where you're in, you're in, right? You're on. You're on. You're on. You're on. Not to be confused with you're in. So he's got Yara tied up. Although, again, I like to call her Jess because she reminds me of someone that I feel like I want to college with. And so Jess is tied up and he's just like in her face with like nasty, sort of being breathed. Just being annoying. I'm like, I just hate that this guy shows up late in the show and then has like has such a annoying pivotal role. And it's terrible. Like we've got enough people that we love to see get killed this season. I don't need this cartoon, you know? He's terrible.

Yeah, he's not interesting enough. Yeah, I don't like him. And so he's like, well, we have family. I've only went to talk to him. I'm going to talk about my nuts. Yeah. I'm going to fuck that queen. I'm going to stick my wig into queen. Yeah. I'm just going to stick in. All right, you're on quite down over there. And she's like, oh, you're fighting for Cersei. You've chosen the wrong side. Do I have one brother with a brain? She's also like a little jealous, because when he's like, I just want to fuck the queen, she's like, well, I kind of do too.

Yeah, she's like, who doesn't? Yeah. So speaking of which, we then go to Cersei in the throne room, and she's now on the Iron Throne. And she's questioning you're on and Captain Strickland from the Golden Company and she's like how many ships did we lose? Well, I think we lost about three or four but they were pitiful. It's like what about the elephants? Well, we lost the elephants. What about the elephants?

I really wanted my elephants. So then your honor is basically, we're fucking right? Because I brought all these boats and you're fucking me now. She's like, ah, He's like, we're blessed forever. She's like, if you want to hold by one, if you want to queen He's like, uh, please she's like. Yeah, she's like, you know what? That's fine. Come on. I'm boy. Like she's like kidding. Like my brother's gone. And the mountain is useless. Come on. It's either like you or my crazy hand. So as in the end, not her hand, Not her hand. I know.

She's all horrified. I said, shall I take a bath, ma'am? She said, no, you. Not again. So speaking of sexy times, we then see Brawn and he is just hanging out with some prostitutes, like these chatty prostitutes who are like get your hair the dragons Someone got that nice book a little because of the dragons the dragons How do you blink with the high sexy talk? what I

Said also the least sexy talk you ever want to hear before you're having sex. I know That's a problem with four cents, you know, you get you get three hookers, they're just talking to each other. You need one. Okay. You need one who will focus. What has got like strong determination. So Cuber and Kyber and Cuber and Q just Q. The hand comes in. He's like, a queen ordered me to talk to you and the hooker is leaving as she's psych um let me now have to have a landlick here I prefer out a gentle man and she leaves because poor girl the pox will take her within the year and bronze like oh dodge the bullet

on that one it's like the best kind of psychic ever. Oh, look at that business man. He'll have a code in two weeks. Boon! Ah! So basically, Q has shown up with basically a crossbow, and he's any tell brawn the queen wants you to kill her brothers because she hates them and if you do that you can have a huge amount of money. So you know, you do that.

Yeah, I have a huge special one that the Jocfree Maureen used. Yeah, the Jocfree one, the Jocfree murdered that poor hooker with. Yeah. And brawn's just like this fucking family. I mean, seriously, my god. Right. Yeah. Um, and bronze just like this fucking family. I mean, seriously, my God. Right. Yeah. So, um, we'll see how that works out. I feel like it's, I don't, I feel like it's going to have like a big, there'll be a big moral thing in the middle join forces and come back for a suit together. Yeah. Cersei will die with that thing. They're not

going to kill, they're not going to kill their sweet Jamie no one's killed Jamie come on. No you already lost a hand and he flosses I feel like Jamie for sure flosses yeah yeah I like that every season Jamie looks more and more like he should be in a video game you know yeah and I like that he ages most more than anybody else like today he's salt and pepper he's like no yeah I've gone a couple of miles and now I'm salt and pepper that just makes some snockey comments about it. You know that there's like, I don't nearby hillside. Brienne was just watching. Looking like she's about to cry.

It's a salt and pepper now. I'm so proud. I love her. I love her. It's so good. It's so good. So Cersei basically ends up banging you on. And of course he's disgusting. You know, he's like,

yeah, I was the dick. I was the dick of the three. Won't take another ride, lady. Yeah, she's still like, even after sex, she's like, I wanted those elephants. I'm not going to be happy to be honest. I wasn't paying attention. I was thinking about elephants the entire time. Just wanted a bigphant's the entire time. Just wanted a big ole elephant, just to walk around. Just wanted to walk around the city and Elephant, just for fun.

What's the point of being queen if you can't get Elephants? So, um, yeah, so he's just being really annoying. His pillow talk is horrific. And she's like, you might be the most arrogant man I've ever met. I like that. Get out. That's hot. Get way to kill you. And then he feels her stomach and he's like, I'm going to put a pretty, you bella. And she's like, ew, but then I see the, she's like, my bella. And then she does that thing that Cersei does where she holds her gigantic glass of wine. I love that she, she, she has like the equivalent of those gigantic margarita glasses that we have down

for a time. I was drinking like a fish bowl of wine and she does that thing where she just rolls it around while she looks into the fire. She's like, oh, roll wine, roll wine. Yeah, she casually has a very severe drinking problem that has really not been addressed after all these seasons. Well, when you've got it that bad and you're that used to drinking huge glasses of wine, please don't quit drinking right now, okay? Quit drinking after the war, okay? Kids are gonna be way harsher coming down from all of that. Yeah, exactly. So then we go on to one of the boats of the Iron Fleet and we just see people getting killed.

They're just like dropping like flies, so we don't really know what's happening. And then we see Jess. See now I actually am literally calling her Jess. I'm not Yara. This is gonna be a problem for me. But Yara is tied up and she is just like sitting there and she hears the sound of bodies falling and dying and then like one like dies, like falls into the room

and dies and she's like, and who comes in, of them Dion of all people her brother. Yeah, apparently to get over PTSD and severe trauma you just have to beat the shit out of somebody and then you're fine. Now he's fine, but he keeps crying. He's got the John Snow thing of like needing to cry in every scene, but he saves her and she's like, he did it. But then she headbats him. Yeah, we're just like classic jazz. Classic jazz. Of course, jazz is like, oh, what? You like watch? I can I can chart this beer too. And it's like, Jess, I'm not even trying to prove this with you right now. I just want to get out of here. It's like she's it's like the very last role in bowling. Like, this is the first time you're ever going to beat me. Whoops got to

strike. You didn't think I was gonna let you in. Did you? She's like, this is the first time you're ever going to beat me. Whoops got to strike. You didn't think I was going to let you in. Did you? She's like the type of person who's like, you want to play it? You want to play pool? You want to play pool? It's like, no, I'm not really in the mood right now. Jess, come on, come on, come on. Come on. Like, fine. And then you start playing with her. And she's like, okay, seven in the far pocket. I'm going to call it. Like, Jess, you're already making, I don't even want to play this. And I'm making even more annoying. And now you, you actually did it. And now I'm just ruining it for me Jess So she's like let's go back home

Who says that I can't believe Yara said that like why don't you want to go back? I just like everyone's dead. He's gone. Let's just retake it chill for a while and he's like Oh Jesus Christ you crime again just go fight with the stars Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh Tyrion are walking around and Davos is like, listen, you have to earn their loyalty. So what if there's a proposal? What if you've got one heart brother and one hot sister and they were banging and Terri, it's like, uh, high, I've tried that. Yeah. I'm like a little not into this whole, I have to win over the the trust of the North because I always felt like the North was supposed to be like morally sound and that they when they recognize good causes when they come around and like more importantly, I feel like we we had the whole you

have to win them over storyline about a million times with Daenerys when she was wandering around on the other continent. So it's like the thought of having to like have yet another you must win over the loyalty is just like not what I'm in the mood for right now. I know this is They're commenting on trees. So they want to get the young hot ones married because they figured that out work, you know. And then various people, they'll never listen to old people. We remind them of an unpleasant truth that nothing lasts forever except by fucking fabulousness. Can you believe this rope? I can't use. Apparently this rope lasts forever because I've been wearing it for 10 years.

I have been a member of every house in Westers and I have always looked fucking fabulous in this room. I'll tell you one thing that lasts forever. Castration. Get it. Terence, like, hey, that was my line. Fabulousness room. I'll tell you one thing that lasts forever castration get it Terence like hey that was my line So Daenerys and John are hanging out with the drags. Yeah, yeah, you know, you know how it oh no No, they're just hanging out. They're love the dragon. Yeah, and Dan Daenerys is like your sister doesn't like me I shall turn her into a small Yeah, she doesn't need to be my friend, but I am her queen and if she can't respect me then and then before she can like finish her sentence

There's tragic news, which is the dragons aren't eating very much and they don't like the north so The guy comes in he's like eight goats non-squares 13 elephants, she's like and I'm like oh my god these dragons are terrorizing another community, you know He's like what does that mean she's like that still hungry geez Yeah, and by the way point of reference they don't get fed the rest of the episode It's not like this gets solved so just know they're so hungry. So, um, so, so John and, um, Daenerys go to visit the dragons. Who by the way seem like

they're in totally great spirits. They're like, you know, they're not like sad or listless. They're like, it's fine. We're on a diet. It's cool. Yeah, they're like picking over the bones. Yeah, they're like, you know, I love the first course. I think the chef missed the mark on the second goat, but the third goat was wonderful. I mean, foams. Aren't we done with that yet? Wait, wait, wait, wait. I just want to take a picture of this goat carcass before you eat it. Oh, thanks. It's on their Instagram. It just looks beautifully arranged goat So they would have a feed Instagram Really well lit and you get they have like a surprisingly large amount of followers. You're like oh

You're like fuckers get verified Wait, they have their own cookbook? What? How do they get 78,000 followers? Yeah, pictures of goats. So yeah, she needs to drop this like, I'm the queen. Like, we know, okay, give people a little time. So they talk about, there's one dragon

that really likes John. And so John's like, hi, dragon. So I kind of hate, give him a ride. And I was like, they are not gonna do a how to ride my dragon together right now. And they do. And guess what? Guess you lost how to train your dragon.

Me, I love that movie. I cried like three times, loved it, great film. I never saw it, but if it was anything like the scene, sign me up, because I thought this was just enchanting. First of all, you had some classic scrupal comedy of John trying to get on the dragon and be like, whoa, whoa, how do I hold on? I don't know.

No one zip it. Told me how to ride a dragon. Just hold on to whatever you can. All this sort of like, you know, like a pattern that was like very reminiscent of like heppern and Tracy, both dragons. But with dragons, yeah. It was hot.

It's always hot until someone died on a dragon. And then, you know, like some groups are gonna come in and force like seatbelts on dragons and they're gonna start regulating it, you know. Like the wind is too much, you need to wear a helmet on a dragon. Like everyone's gonna ruin dragons. Unsafe at any speed.

So it's like Ralph Nader has like a dragon manifesto. So they like arrive at a waterfall and then they like get off and and John's like, it's cooled out here for a southern girl and she's like, so keep your queen warm. Which is like sexy ish and then they're like, they'll your queen, Wom, which is like sexy ish. And then they're like, they'll become couples. I hate it.

I hate it in real life. And I hate it on TV. Because I loved an ares. And I like John. I just hate couples that they're all just staring at each other the whole time, making little couple jokes, never if you're anywhere anymore.

Fuck off, couple. I actually like them together. But what I think is weirder is that when they start to make out the dragons are just off, couple. I actually like them together, but what I think is weirder is that when they start to make out the dragons are just like, yeah. And and Johnson's like, um, should these are sort of like your children? Should we like not do this in front of them? She's like, no, it's cool. Like we're very open family. And so then one of them super mad at him. He's like, yeah, I'm going to really. Yeah, I was reading like one of those jealousies because John's kissinger and he gets a job. Oh, yeah, definitely gave like a long stare, but you're right.

It probably is like jealousy because then I thought later on it was like, oh, it recognizes that this is like a fellow Targaryen and like a friend of the dragons. So I thought he was being like, yes, I bow down to you. Please have sex with my mother. Well, I guess it's like the crying tree. You really don't know what the fuck it's thinking, you know, you just can read into it. You're probably right.

There probably is some drag in jealousy. Go ahead. He's also probably mad at you. She's like, don't worry. And he keeps making out with him, but then he looks and begin terrified. The drag is like, it's like, yeah, you know, it's, I think like that the generally the proper etiquette is if you are going to have

sacks like just don't do it in front of the dragons. True. Yeah. Just be like, get down, go to the living room. You know, everyone has to train their dragon the same way, you know. You look, put finding Nemo on in the living room, close the door. Like, hey, go watch that. Did I say, hey, go watch that. The Bobby Flay on. So, can't read minds of, can't read minds of Sidian or gender, sorry, gender. So the house like, you know who makes weapons for the world, like, pimples and cocksuckers, which he is. How jeez.

A pound. You know, last time I checked, you were the reason why one of these dragons is dead, which is probably the real reason why that other dragon angry, that other dragons like we came to save your ass and my brother got killed. Yeah, hound. The fucking house. Stop complaining. Be like, thank you. Thank you for making me a weapon that you did free of charge for me, even though I barely even deserve to be alive right now. Yeah. Banks. So then Ari, Ari, I could say, and he's like, she's like, leave him be. And she's talking like the girl with no face from her schooling. And I hated that bitch.

And I don't like that Ari is acting just like her now. I did not like that girl with the stick. OK? Don't become the girl with the stick. The girl with the stick was so annoying. God sick was so annoying God. Yeah, keep her Slow loose lose her bank teller from hell attitude. Yeah, she was yeah, she was she's like She was that type she's gonna be like I'll be right back like no No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, hi, and so the house like, you left me to die. And she's like, but I rubbed you fast. I was like, you know, why, what is wrong with it? It's sort of what you were saying before. Why can't anyone just say, oh, hey, how are you? Hey, how are you? Oh, so good

to see you. What have you been up to? I thought you were dead. You're alive. That's great. That's great. So like What's new? But this version is you're called little bitch out here That's why it's still alive and then he gives you like a little smile I was like, oh, that was like a hug on this show, you know, yeah Yeah, yeah, it was basically a hug and then there was like a moment like where the Arya and Gendry or Gendry, whatever's name is,

I always forget his name. I never really commit much of him to my to memory because I actually know don't do my Gendry. Okay, so she's, they're like talking and I was like, I hope that they're not supposed to be a couple because they have zero chemistry. I'm sorry, they don't, they don't have it. Well, I can't have chemistry with a person of many faces. Oh my god. It's like, hey,

what are you doing Tuesday? The girl is doing nothing. Okay. Well, what's your number? The girl has no number. What's your favorite food? The girl has no favorite food. It's like, Jesus, can you make this a little easier on me, lady? Oh, girl, that's blushing ahead that night. just a little easier on me lady. Okay, let's blushing ahead that night. Yeah, they're gonna bone. Pretty much. So she gives him the design for her new weapon and he's like, Why would you need this? You already have your sword.

It's like because there's dead people coming, Gentry. How many times do we have to tell you this? You saw them yourself, sir. Okay. Yeah, if you are busy making weapons then, and someone says hey, can you make another weapon? Like don't be like wait, why do we need this weapon? Just make a weapon Just do it. It's already got molds and stuff for the obsidian for like the arrows Why does he have to spend an extra three because you know that's like a three-day project?

It's not just some easy weapon Yeah, I'm making a mold for it This is John's nose fall because I really love Needle. And then John says like, oh, Needle's cool. That's like, so that's so cute Needle. What a great starter sword. Here's my Valerian steel sword. Okay. And so now she's like, fuck, fuck.

She needs to like upgrade Needle. Yeah. So Sansa is reading a scroll like she does. She's like so beautiful. Usually reading a scroll, a scroll. Biffy scroll reading. Oh my god. And then she probably is like, I was reading a scroll today.

Like, OK, Sansa, we get it. You re-scrolls. So John comes in and she's like, well, OK, that's what. We lost a little boy. Thanks a lot. John. The reason we lost him is because he didn't stand for the North. He stood for John Snow. And you never told me you were going to abandon your crown. Thanks a lot, John. John, because he didn't stand for the North East,

stood for John Snow. And you never told me you were going to abandon your crown. Thanks a lot, John. I haven't changed my dress in five days. Could someone get Sansa some like porridge or something like that? I just think she's angry at this point. I think she's just like, we need to fix this mood. She's been in.

Yeah, she needs some essential oils. She needs like some fish oil pills. She needs to like go to like on a spa trip, you know, just get out of here for a little bit, you know, now that John's there, she doesn't have to like have all the way to the world on her. She's gonna just go on a little trip, have girls trip with like Arya and like,

well, you know, that's one of the other problems. She doesn't really have any friends, you know. So that's why she's probably so bitter. Yeah, you gotta have a friend girl. Take a spin class or something. You'll meet people. So, um, Well, maybe she could take Daenerys,

work on that relationship. Yeah, right, but kill each other. So, John's like, I brought in army and two dragons. Do not make me make cry face. She said, thanks a lot, the top Gary and Queen. He's like,

title is don't matter. Yeah, is this where I give a speech? I will give a speech. I would like to say that I never thought I'd be here this room talking to you, but then I met a woman. I wonder who is stronger than any woman. It's like, okay, John, just get to the point, please. Sansa, then Sansa thinks that she's like really busted. I'm just like, did you bend the knee to save the North or because you love her? So, wow, wait a figure that one out, Sansa thinks that she's really busted. And she's like, did you bend the knee to save the North or because you love her? It's like, wow, wait a figure that went out, Sansa. They've only been in each other's faces the entire time

and then the court got her a bram, staring at them with this little bram boner. Like what is this? Congratulations. I'm going right over your head on twin dragons making heart shapes out of the clouds, okay? Yeah. Yeah, wow, you really caught him off guard with that one.

But she does know her dumb brother because that is what he did. Hey. So then, Jora and Daenerys are walking through a library and Sam has the cutest quilt of jacket. I just love Sam. Yeah. Love his jacket. Yeah.

I love that guy. I love Sam. Yeah. Sam is great. He also speaking of which, I think he got rid of his bangs, speaking of bangs, right? I was like, why is Sam looking a little different? I think he loves maybe a little weight. Like, he looks good. He's like, you know what?

He's like, I've gone through hell and I am going to liberate my bangs and I'm going to, I'm going to show the world my forehead because I've been through so much. It's like, do you know how much I learned in the Citadel? Let me tell you. I know the question. I know the question.

I know the question. I know the question. I know the question. So have you ever heard of a foe hawk? I learned about that, the Citadel. So I've got a beautiful hawk. So things are like seem to be pretty good at first and she's denerous is like so i hear that you're the one who's who fixed the gray scale and you are

the one who could do that and you're the only one who can do then and it's like oh it's not that i'm the not that he's the only one was the only one who would want to love it yeah but i could use the part new lady i stole some books from the library and they're like giggling like how quaint Lada la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la for generations. How starly, my dad's not very nice to me, but he'll come around one day, and my brother, my brother's so fun to play with. I love my father, and my brother. I wish my father was here right now, said to the silly chair so I could sit on my father's lap and said to this chair. That's a cool note. The one thing that keeps me happy is knowing that they're both alive right now, alive and well, and walking around and doing things, and surely finding love for me. Oh, for a guy, nobody told him. I mean, I know that it's been a long time before seasons,

but damn, it seems like it's been forever. And just nobody tells Sam. I know. So, St. Nierse is like, well, I offer to save your father, but he refused to bend the knee. And he's like, oh, okay. And he starts crying, but he's mad. But then you can see he's like, well, at least my crying, but like, he's like mad, but then it's like, you can see he's like,

well, at least my brother is still alive, right? My very, very handsome tall brother. No, he's dead. Okay, okay, just gonna take some deep breaths. Gileee is good. Okay, Gileee is good. Okay, I'm going outside. Yeah, she's just like totally feeling free, you know?

She's like, yes, care to him too. Is there anyone else there? Shall I care to them? What about your mother? What does she's like, yes, care to him too. Is there anyone downstairs? I like you know then, what about your mother? What does she look like? Is she a good death? Like, she's lady lighten up. So Sam goes outside and he looks angry, which by the way, confused me because I thought the whole thing that he has an asshole dad who wanted to kill Sam, a dopey brother. I don't think it's even his real brother, isn't it like a brother-in-law or something like that So like these are people who don't give a fuck about him They never have and he always knew that and he was always resentful

But now he's like still crying which I guess makes sense because it's still your family But I sort of thought he'd be like maybe happy about the situation either way Iced to him Kind of yeah, he was I don't know wait he gets outside and he's going to these emotions and he looks up and guess what guess he's staring at him Oh geez Brand no for crying out loud brand Seriously get a hobby honestly stop staring at everyone

So brands like what he is doing It's like I'm waiting for an old friend it It is time to tell John the truth and so I'm like no you do it your brother. He's like I'm not anymore have I mentioned I'm the three I draven I'm in a band now I don't have time for this. Now you either go tell him or I'm calling the citadel and telling them what you did with those Nancy Drew books. He's like alright. So where else would John be? Is he making out with the thought girlfriend? Is he like out of the diner? You know, like try to cause some trouble? No, he's in the fucking crypt. Wherever he done, man goes for fun.

Yeah, he's just like lingering around and then suddenly he hears like a commotion and it's Sam. Sam fell over. I don't even know why they included that detail. And we're Sarah. He just falls over for no good reason. Yeah, the show is fattest. So they hug and John's like, why haven't you said hello to me? Cry face, cry face. Are you hiding from me? Cry face. Dude, you've been out like with some queen all day flying around with dragons. Okay. Literally, a literal queen. you've been out like with some queen all day flying around with dragons, okay? Literally a little queen you've been doing that. Why don't you have a John next time you when you arrive You should be like hey, has anyone heard from Sam? Maltarly? Does anyone here heard from him? Then someone could be like, oh, yeah

He's in the other room and that way you could say hi. He said just being like So John Sam is sitting there crying, you know, tears just streaming down face and John's like, oh, what are you doing here? What's going on has life has tricks? It's like he is crying John, okay? Yeah, come with you're crying everybody has to do whatever you want but with someone else is crying You don't even notice wait no John was very accommodating. He's like, what's wrong? What's wrong? Is it gilly? Is it gilly? Which I thought that was so lovely of John to even remember gilly's name You know, it's like you know like when you like see someone and they remember like your name and you're like

I can't believe you remember's my name. I know John's like always invited back to dinner parties So they hug and um he tells him he's like dinner is executed my father and my brother. They were her prisoners Didn't she tell you and John's like and my brother, they were her prisoners. Didn't she tell you? And John's like, uh, this is awkward. This is awkward, right? You remember me telling,

you remember telling me that story about your dad, right? So he's like, so let me just make sure I have this straight Sam for like seven years when we were on that wall. Every single night, you would tell me about how terrible your dad is and your dad wanted you to die and you were so pissed and now you want me to be upset and my girlfriend because the guy who hated you and wanted you to die is dead I'm just not tracking with this Sam yeah and John's like whatever I got laid okay and John's like God we really need to have this war huh and Sam's like would you

kill them and he said well I've executed men when they betrayed me he's like, God, we really need to end this war, huh? And Sam's like, would you have killed them? And he said, well, I've executed men when they betrayed me. He's like, but you've sped men too, John Black. Yeah. And he's like, yeah, but I wasn't a king. And he's like, you were, you were a king. And you have always sped a king. And John's like, OK, just spit it out, Sam, OK?

What are you trying to say? You're trying to say that I'm your king. Is this like some weird fetish thing that you've been holding in? No. It's serious. Spitted out Sam, okay? What are you trying to say? You're trying to say that I'm your king. Is this some weird fetish thing that you've been holding in? No! It's serious. Your mother was Leonistak and your father was regart like out around. Don's like, uh, I actually don't know who those people are.

Can you just give me a little refresher? Yeah, and of course, John finds a way to cry about it. He's like, my father lied to me! Oh! Yeah, I was so surprised because basically Sam is like you've never been a bastard. You are Aegon Targaryen, the true heir to the Iron Throne. And I think John's reaction was like, oh my god, that's crazy. But instead he's like, no, my father was honorable. Are you saying he's the most honorable person I've ever met? Are you saying that he lied to me? It's a John. That should not be your takeaway right now John

Here's to what your takeaway should be Yeah, you should be doing like a dance like a little John snow dance right now just like started. It'll become a viral sensation The John snow challenge My father lied to me and sounds like oh stop your crying. Okay, my dad got eaten by a dragon. Okay, you got burned alive next to my brother. Your father, Ned Stark, promised your mother he would always protect you. He would the North would have murdered you, Johnny. You're the king. And Trump's like, oh shit, but Daeneryses are queen. And he's like, she shouldn't be. He's like, that's treason. That is the truth.

John has a hard time accepting good news. That's what we've learned. Yeah. And this is Soundstural Housewife line. It's not treason if it's the truth. Yeah. That is so true. And you're like, gave up your crown to save your people.

Would she do the same? Short answer? No. OK. No. She won my answer. No. Actually, I think she would. I think she would. I think they're going to rule together and be a king people would she do the same um... short answer no okay no she will not know actually i think she would i think she would i think they're gonna rule together and be a king and

queen boy and why not and why not you know uh... because if this were the other way around she would have burnt the other person at the stake here uh... well here's what they need to do though if they're going to rule together or though there's they like they're gonna have to figure out how they're're going to sit on that throne or maybe they'll make a duplicate or maybe like trash that throne or put in a museum and create a new type of throne for both of them. Yeah, they probably won't want the throne that's made out of swords from all the fallen, you know, hopefully they'll be nicer than that. Maybe they can make it out of all the bones that the dragons have burned. Yeah, the dragons. Yeah, that's probably what it'll be. It'll be more like an iron, like sofa.

And it'll be like all the white walker bones fused together from dragon fire. Yeah, it'll be like a white walker sectional. You can find it like Jennifer's convertibles. The Nate Berkis collection at Target. Yeah, and Sam, I'll have a little moon pod on the side that he gives us in. Yeah. and Sam will have a little moon pod on the side that he gives us. Yeah.

Sectional is great because then it can expand and there can also be a chance for those really long sessions when you're asking for elephants. Yeah. So we go to this place. I don't think we've ever seen it, but it's covered in blood and it's abandoned. And the guys, they'll, they'll cruise walking through the hot ginger, the hot big tall ginger and the magical Jesus guy keeps coming back to life. They're walking through and they run into the wall guys. Yeah. And they're like, are we alone

here? And like, girl, wait until you see there aren't work in this living room. They have such a statement piece on this wall. It's a little boy pegged to a wall. Oh, but don't worry, it's not playing like that. It's like arms and legs making a sun thing around it. Yeah, it actually really is in the spirit of trading spaces, but they're like, okay, we're gonna take some materials that you would not normally associate with art, in this case, arms and legs and other limbs.

And we're just gonna create a pattern. And your homework for tonight is that you have to put this up on the wall And then I'll just see you tomorrow morning and we'll just load in the furniture Yeah, and then the person who's living room it is comes for the reveal and they're like serious So you guys did I told you I didn't want the heli in my room So that's pretty much again end they burned the little kid around or alive. Of course he's dead alive.

He's dead alive. So they burned him. And he's screaming and it's like this horrible little boy scream because it's the little boy who ended up staying home instead of coming back. The one that Sansa was like, eh. Oh, is that the same little boy? Yeah, it's the same little Lord boy. He was like, I'll be back now.

And then he never came back. And so now he's dead. Oh, I didn't really, I didn't put that together. But that's like, you see with the one who wanted like the horses and the and the flag. Yeah, mom with that horse isn't groceries. She's like, oh, I have to go back to the store. Fine.

Yeah. So then, yeah, so then we go back to Winterfell, as the episode ends and there's like, mull up people, what marching along and there's like a person and a cape. And I was excited because I was like, oh, finally, it's Brianna Tarth. I was like, I thought it would be like her big moment. I don't know why I would ever think the show would make her the big moment, the climactic moment of the episode, but like, I think in my heart of hearts, I just wanted that to happen. But instead the cape comes off and guess what?

It's Jamie, Jamie Lannister. The king's laugh is here. He's got the Sultan Peppa. So, Jim Peppa and he gets off his horse and he gets, he steps on the ground, he looks around and guess what's happening. Damn, staring at him. happening. Brands, Sarah Adam. Brand is like the creepiest guy of the gay club. He is. He just has like a

little table and just like watching people drinking his spritzer. And Jamie's like, and looks horrified, but, you know, come to that, Jamie. Yeah, it's a strange, when it's a strange lot. It's going to be okay. Don't worry. He hasn't hugged anybody yet. Jamie. Yeah, it's a strange and a strange lot. It's gonna be okay

Don't worry. He hasn't hugged anybody yet. Jamie's like why is he not talking to me? Brandon's a most honest guy. Yeah, and it was this brand's friend. I guess it was When brand said I'm waiting to meet a friend. I guess it's Jamie. Yeah, you know, they've never met friend. I guess Jamie. Yeah, they never met. Honestly. Yeah, well, you know, nothing bonds you like being the victim of being pushed out of window by some dude. Oh, that's right. I can sister. You're right. I forgot. They did meet in that terrible way. Yeah, that's how they know each other. So he's going to be like, thank you. Thank you for leaving me to my destiny. I know. He can be so annoying about it. So that was the first episode of season eight.

I think that's pretty much it. We'll be back next week to tackle the next Game of Thrones episode here on Winter is crappening. And of course, if you enjoy Bravo TV or just like talking about TV in general, go to check out Watch watch or crap ends if you aren't already there Yeah, and if you're listening to this on the watch or crap ends feed go subscribe to the winter's crappin feed because we like sweet sweet ratings Yeah Everybody, thank you so much. We will be back next week. Have a good one. Bye everyone Bye. Hey, prime members, you can listen to WaterCrapins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon

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