We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle - 113. The Time Glennon & Abby Called It Off – and Live Pod Squad Q&A!

Episode Date: July 14, 2022

1. How horrifying advice from a therapist led Glennon to end things with Abby–and how they reconnected. 2. The moments from past episodes that changed us–including Amanda’s new strategy to prevent her anxiety from creating relationship problems. 3. How we decide what to share publicly and what not to–and why we think the dichotomy of “sacred things” versus “private things” is dangerous.                 4. Simple guidance to a man who asks how to stand in the fight for women’s rights, a question from 68-year-old Donna that we can’t stop thinking about, and the story of Tish’s We Can Do Hard Things song.

Welcome back to We Can Do Hard Things. Today, we're going to hear more from our live one-year anniversary recording. It was just the best. I'm still thinking about it. This part that we're airing today was especially fun for us because we got to see some of your beautiful faces and, of course, hear your incredibly insightful questions. We also each shared the episode that we can't stop thinking. about. And I actually can't stop thinking about the one caller who asked Abby what it was like for her to be waiting for me to figure out if we should or should not be together. All right. Let's jump back into our live one year anniversary celebration. I'm so excited to move on to our Q&As from our pod squatters. We have like actual- Yes, but also I'm

I'm going to do something really quick. Oh, yes. If you have any of the questions you want to call in, because we just want to keep this for the next year, as it's been this year, just like a constant conversation. And we want to hear what you want to hear about. And we want to talk about what you want to talk about. And now that we have a fancy new segment, apparently we're going to need to do that too. Tell me more. This is the phone number 747-2005307.

747-200-5307. Let's hear from Karen. Hey, Glenn and Avi and Amanda, this is Karen White from Panama City, Florida. I'm curious if you have a favorite episode, the one that surprised you the most. I'll start. Cool. Go for it. My favorite episode was my hard thing, episode 70, because

this is the one that you shared about your relapse in bulimia. And, you know, I watched you process from the moment you told me that it was happening to the time that you recorded it. And that was a beautiful one step after another process, vulnerable, hard, true. And as like your protector, I like to think of myself that way. leading up to this telling of it made me very nervous. I kept asking you, are you sure you want to do this? And I have to say that as I sat in this exact seat and I was looking at you, watching you do it, the world out there might not know, but our marriage vows of trust and communication and truth and honesty.

Those are vows that run through, they're the thread and the fabric. that runs through all of our life. It's what keeps us sober. It's what keeps our life moving. And witnessing that honoring of not just those vows, but the sacred vow that you have with your own self is, it was just magic. I just felt so,

and pride is such a weird word, like I was proud of you. I just felt so close to you. And it made me like fall in love with you in a different way. And it made me trust you even more. So I don't know. It's like one of those things when you have to tell a really hard truth. We don't do it as often as maybe we should because we fear that somebody will think that we are untrustworthy.

But really it is the stepping stone to gaining people's trust, like when you, especially when it's hard. I get that. And so many people now stop me in the streets and. Thank me on your behalf because of their own personal situation. Oh, that's beautiful, Abby. Thanks, babe. I'll go. I have one.

Okay, what about you? We used to see. We've been lucky enough to do four podcasts with Dr. Brunei Brown. Episode 83 was mine. We were talking in that one about communicating with our partners and this phenomenon, which I'm sure will be foreign to everyone, of, partners seeming utterly nonplussed about things that we have a lot of feelings about. So, for example, like how everything is going to get done that needs to get done and why it's running through my head.

It's incessantly and with growing alarm and appearing to decidedly not be running through your head because apparently you can do things like, you know, take a nap. And I think that I won't be able to sleep for the rest of my life. We're talking about that and how it all leads to anger and resentment and communication that becomes so painful and unmanageable for everyone involved. And she said something that clicked something for me. And she said, I'm so invested in not feeling out of control or being perceived as being out of control that it's hard for me to say I'm feeling anxious. And it's easier for me to say, fuck, are you still napping?

And then she said, I wonder, is it about fear and anxiety that I'm not managing, that I'm using control and criticism? to manage my own fear and anxiety. Yes, that's good. And that clicks something for me because I know that that whole phenomenon is obviously about untenable, unequal mental loads and all of that structured gender bullshit. It is that. And it is also for me about how it is harder for me to manage my own. fear and anxiety, and it is easier for me to control and criticize my partner than it is for me

to manage my anxiety and fear. And that if I didn't start trying to manage that, that we would be a death spiral because control and criticism are not working for either of us. They're toxic for both of us. And I know that's not the only thing it is. But I've also started in those moments, like the moments where I feel the flood and I want to be like my instinct is like, fuck, are you still napping? Or like, oh, it must be nice. Or like, why are you not stressed about this thing? I just tell myself like, how much of this is about my anxiety and fear. And is there a way that I can take better care of myself in this moment. That's good.

Because that is what it's about, I think, most of the time. How's it working? Is it working? I think it's like that tiny little interstitial moment where I realize that there might be something for me to consider. to care for myself. And incidentally, it's also caring for my partner because the criticism and the control won't manifest as much. But it's just kind of like, oh, what's the thing under the thing? Yeah. Like you're angry, but you're angry because you have this anxiety that he doesn't have.

And that's why you're angry. And you feel depressed. You don't actually want him to have anxiety. No. You don't want him to be like you. No. You don't want him to be like you. No. But, But like, so I don't want like an equal distribution of the burden that I have in terms of that mental actual anxiety that I want neither of us to have. So it's more just about like what can you do to cope better in this situation and can you use your words to ask for that thing to get what you need? Or give it to yourself. Yes. Right. Because being pissed isn't giving yourself anything. No, it's not. It's giving yourself another job actually. And more to do energetically to be. angry. It's like you're saying a much more fancy smart way of like the whole when I realized that it must be nice. It must be nice to take a nap. Must be nice to be a joyful, happy human being. Must be nice to have hobbies and do things you like and smile. Like what you really mean is it must be nice. I would like that. Yeah. How do I get that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, Babe, what about you? Well, episode that you can't stop thinking about. Yeah. I like saying it that way because I do have to tell you this is extra, maybe. But I value every one of these conversations that we have so much that I actually don't like it when people say this was my favorite. Like it. It's like, what's your favorite kid? Although we know. No, it's not exactly that. I think it's also as being somebody who does other people's podcasts, it's like so vulnerable.

You go on their thing and then you're like, oh my God, I hope people like it. And then you like watch and see if people like it. And to me, I know I care so much about this podcast. And every person that comes onto our podcast is so unbelievably vulnerable. And I don't like the hierarchy. It was what it was. Like every conversation was so exactly what it was supposed to be. It will hit somebody exactly the way it was supposed to.

It'll be somebody's most important because of this one thing that was said or because of this. I don't do any of the like favorites or for myself. It just feels really important to me. So I mean, truly, my two, I think that one that I really will never stop thinking about was the one that we did, that Chase and I did with Ocean Blong. Sister and I, our feelings are not heard about it at all. Yeah, I know. It was so beautiful.

It was so beautiful. But if you haven't listened to it, it's Ocean Vuong is a poet and just poet isn't the right word. I mean, it is, but he's just an incredible. incredible thinker and human being and feeler and notice her and and he's a queer person and he, my son is queer and he, my son is Japanese and Ocean is Vietnamese. And we just had a talk about a lot of the racism that Ocean faced growing up and a lot of the racism that Chase faced that my son faced growing up. And it was a really interesting situation to think about the fact that Ocean had a mother who prepared him for all of that, and Chase did not have that.

I didn't do anything to prepare Chase for being a brown kid in America. I was out in the world doing my best to, like, do anti-racism work, and I was not helping my son, who I stared out all day and thought about nonstop obsessively. And so it's, I have no, I'm not, I'm on the landing about it. Like I'm I'm stunned by it. It is amazing what whiteness can do. Like the way that it can just convince you that your child, your whiteness has rubbed off on him and he will not experience. It's baffling to me.

It also has made me feel so close to every mother or parent who felt like they did something or missed something or screwed something up that they will never be able to get back. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not beating myself up about it. I'm, right. I just feel solidarity with every mother who's been like, oh, what, where was I? And I can't get that one back. But how awesome for you to have this conversation with Ocean and Chase on this podcast.

Yeah, it was amazing. It was amazing. It's just I have not gotten any, like, new wisdom about it. I'm just stunned by it, the whole thing. And it was so beautiful to me to be able to do that with Chase. And then, of course, the other one I had can't stop. thinking about is all the ones with gender with a loke. I'm completely fully obsessed with gender. Like, Abby can't even handle it. It's like the waiter comes over and it's like, here are the

specials. Do you have any questions? And I'm like, do you feel like gender's inherent thing that was born in you? I'm so. And they're like, you feel it every, every podcast. I'm like, wait, wait. It's almost. Do you feel gender on the inside? It's endlessly fascinating to me. I can't stop. I just. I know. And I'm just like, the girls. friends over. And we're like, so you're a girl. You think you're a girl. And they're like, yeah. And I'm like, but how do you know? And she's like, I can't do this anymore. She's like, I'm not going to bring my friends over anymore if you want to get into gender dynamics in conversation. So those aloke 74 and 75. All day long. Get out of 10. All day long. For your child, as the school year continues, patterns start to emerge. You can see what's clicking and where a little extra reinforcement could help. That's where Ixel steps in, giving kids targeted practice so they can strengthen those areas early and keep moving forward with confidence. Ixel is an award-winning online learning platform

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Strawberry.combe, because your career should feel good again. We have another question. Let's hear from Pasha. Hi, Glennon and Abby and Amanda. my name is Pasha Marlowe and happy anniversary and thank you for being part of my life for the last year. Every Tuesday and Thursday, I am excited to wake up and sometimes you are in bed with me because I have insomnia at 3 and 4 in the morning. I begin to play the day's episode and you're just there on my pillow and I'm enjoying you while I snuggle in and start the day with your wise and witty. words. I wanted to ask you as a fellow teacher, healer, therapist, coach, I wanted to know whether or not

it's hard for you not to share things right away. Like as soon as I learned something interesting, I just get very excited to share it with the world. I have a hard time holding it in. I have a hard time not sharing my own personal information. I tend to be extremely unfiltered and I lead with vulnerability and courage. And sometimes I wonder if anything is sacred, if anything is private anymore. I share my grief. I share my fears. I share my angst. I feel. I share my ache. And I just wonder if you deal with that as well or if there are any things that you do keep private and sacred. Now, that's a strange question because then you'd be sharing them if you said. I'm curious if there are things you don't have to say which one. I'm going to share all the things that I keep sacred and

private. Here I go. Oh my God. I love it because that would be odd because then you'd be sharing them. Okay. This is fascinating for me because I feel like this is a common way of thinking that things are either private and sacred or they are things that you share. Like that they're, those are mutually exclusive things. So like if you share something, it's by definition not sacred. And if it's sacred, you don't share it. And I actually think it's possible to think about it the opposite way. Sometimes the sharing of something is the honoring of it as sacred. The original meaning of sacred is like to consecrate, make holy. This is a sacred thing. And that's what I feel like often sharing what would be secrets is.

I'm always surprised when people are like, oh my gosh, I can't believe you'd share that. But it's because I don't think things like getting cheated on and getting left and feeling rage and resentment and struggling hard and having kids that are not what I expected them to be and having deep and painful regrets. those are not what I understand as private things. I just think they are actually near universal human experiences. And for me, it's a way of consecrating those messy realities by taking them out of their private shadows and putting them where they rightfully belong, which is as thoroughly human experiences. Yes. So I feel like what happened is that somewhere along the line, sacred came to mean this like something that must not be criticized.

And that is dangerous because it asks us to defend this infallible image. And so if you admit to being human inside of your relationship or yourself or any institution, you're like breaking the rules of sacredness. Mm-hmm. But that is just loneliness and shame. Yes. Is the result of that because everything holy is a complicated journey that we need honesty and community to experience fully. Me tweet.

So I think that Pasha's question is anything private and sacred. or do you have to share it all? It's like for me, the best understanding of sacred that I can have is like to hold with great respect. And I feel like I hold myself with great respect. And it's precisely because of my respect for my own humanity and this faith that we're all connected in that humanity that I can share the things. And I trust. that I am not irredeemably aft or that if I am, we are all irredeemably aft.

Yeah. And I will say, though, that after, over the last couple of months, I have been challenged in what Pasha was sharing because I am learning what it means to hold my husband and our marriage with great respect. And there have been some things that. I have shared that did not feel like it met that mark for him. And so I'm having to learn to navigate that and also come to terms with what is holy mine. Yes. My own story, what is our story, what is his story? And this idea that holding each of those with great respect might be very different.

but it doesn't mean that I respect one any less. That's beautiful. Wow. I love that. And just one more spin on it. I just want to add that as you're talking, I'm thinking the things that you said, parenting is a different thing than I thought it would be, being cheated on the overwhelm of life.

These are all women's issues too. There's an edge on every time somebody says, isn't anything sacred, don't you keep it to yours? That's what they've been saying to women forever. Like, that's why during the second wave of feminism, when people started having consciousness-raising groups, where people would get together and talk about their individual issues, people would be like, oh, the girls are at therapy.

They're going to their therapy. Like, why do they have to share those things? Because when women start to actually talk about their private issues, we learn that they're not private issues. That's right. There are issues in relationships, issues in parenting, issues in education, issues in our bodies, menopause, all these things that we see what we're doing with this podcast is we might be talking about personal things and isn't anything sacred. But what we learn when we bring them forward is that they're sacred as hell. They're just not shameful.

They're all women's issues. And when we get together and we don't stay siloed about them and we say, yeah, they're personal and sacred. That's why we're talking about them. then we realize that many of these problems that we have are not personal failings. They are systematic failings. Yep. And then when we can talk about them and talk about change and so yes to all of it. And Pasha, thank you for that beautiful question. Let's hear from Angelique. Hi, Glennon, Abby, and Amanda. My name is Angelique. And my question is for Abby. And my question is, I'm more. wondering what it was like for Abby in the waiting for Glennon. I know we all know the story and

and everything, but I wonder what it was like, knowing that the two of you were in love with each other and not knowing whether or not you were going to end up together. And I'm wondering what would have happened if Glennon you had decided to stay? Would you have been friends still? Would that have even been possible? Of course, thankfully, that didn't happen because you'd all be deprived of this beautiful union. Okay, thanks so much for your time. I love the podcast. I love everything you're all doing and always looking forward to the next thing, especially the next live thing, like in person. All right. I love you. We love you. Thank you, Angelique. So I don't know if you wrote the full story about this and untamed, but do you want to tell the first bit of the story where you called, well, I'll tell you, you called me.

The blow jobs. Yeah, you called me and you told me that you had just gone to a therapy session and that your therapist recommended to give more blow jobs. Well, okay, hold on. Hold on. Context. I told her I was in love with you. Yes. With a woman. She said this is just, this is not. Bad idea. This was the person the therapist who had been with me and Craig forever and tried to get us through the infidelity. And she had thought she had fixed us. And then I come in and say I'm in love with a woman. Basically, I was like, if you won't let me be with this woman, I'm at least not having sex with Craig anymore. I can't have, I can't do it anymore. I'm dead inside every time I want to die. I can't do it anymore. And she said, have you considered blow jobs? If I can't have my cake, I'm not going to eat it too.

Yeah. Is what when it said. So, and I'm like, what? And she goes, well, many women consider them to be less intimate. Anyway, this, in the book, immediately, I think I have an epiphany. In real life, it took me a minute. I did not. I was like, what is she saying?

Maybe she's right. Maybe I'm broken. Maybe this isn't real. So you called me and told me about this. But then she also said that you needed to take six months. And not talk to you for six months. And not talk to me for six months. Yeah.

And I remember I was sitting in the parking lot of the golf course I was going to play golf at. And I remember being like, hmm, I was enraged by the advice that she gave you. Not the six months, the BJ part. And I thought, okay, well, if this is what you need, I'm going to honor whatever you want, you know, the children, your marriage, that mattered to me. And I wanted to honor it. And so I said, okay, if in six months you still want to pursue this, then let's meet somewhere and we will figure it out. But I want you to know something that I will not be your friend. I will not text you. I will not call you. I cannot do that. That's not what this is. This is more

important than maintaining a faux friendship. Like there's no way I can do anything other than love with you. We said goodbye. And that was a really hard day. I was heartbroken big time. And what happened next? pulse happened. The next day, I think. Yeah, I think it was the next day. And so... The shooting in Florida, Orlando. Yeah, in Orlando.

Orlando, yeah. Where a man walked into a gay bar and just started shooting. And maybe it wasn't the next day. Maybe it was like a few days later. Anyway, it was right. It was close. And I still don't know why. I, why that just, I just remember watching it on the news and just, you went there.

I went there. I did go there. And she was texting me pictures there. And I was like, I told her that we can't be texting, but this big thing happened. And then you had told sister in and around this time. And so then one of your texts was like a 911 text. You were like, I really need to talk to you. Some really weird stuff is going on.

And I'm just joking about the six months. I meant approximately six and a half hours. I meant. Yeah. And it was like, I just, I was like, oh, I can't live without her. I can't live without her. And the pulse thing, I don't know, it just made me. It was the first time I'd ever experienced anything like that while feeling part of the community to whom it happened.

That's really interesting. And I couldn't relate to anybody else about. it except for you. Yeah. So that was the day that we decided we were going to not go to that therapist anymore and we were going to do it. Yeah. Yeah. I love you. I love you too. I really was so sad though. I was so, and I understood and I was also so heartbroken when you were like, okay, if this is meant to be, it will be in six months. I know. And. But it's okay. We're here now. I know. Okay. Yeah. I can see her going down around at all.

She smiled. She's in a golf cart right now. She's so upset. It was so upsetting. But note to everyone from people who are huge, huge supporters of therapy. It is important to remember. You have to have a sense of self that rejects things that are hurtful to you. You are not allowed to turn off.

your intuition and yourself just because somebody has a degree. Not every therapist is for every person. Right. You'd have to find the right therapist for you. This show is brought to you by Alma. When I first tried to find a therapist, it felt like a scavenger hunt with no map, pages of names, long wait lists, voicemails that never got returned. I remember thinking, if this is what it takes just to talk to someone, no wonder people

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Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash hard things to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash hard things. Okay, let's hear from Kyle. Hello, Glenn and sister and Abby. My name is Kyle. My wife, Turn me on to your podcast last fall. And I since have lapped her and now I've listened to all of the episodes. And she's a few behind. You know, not trying to brag or anything.

I love your show and I love what you all are doing. My question I have for you is, so I have a lot of female friends. You know, my wife and I talk about your show a lot. And we actually just saw Ashley C. Ford at a speaking event last week. These things are really important to me. And I'm curious as a man, what can I do in my everyday life to not only advocate for women, but also help men do better? Kyle. Did he say that he left his wife?

Okay. That's what I thought at first. I thought this was going to go a different direction. But I think he said, I lapped her. Like he left her in the dust and listening to more podcasts. Lapped is when sporty spices go fast. go fast and pass people twice. Okay.

Okay. Proceed. Thank you. First of all, bless your heart, Kyle. Second of all, when Kyle was talking, I think that when a man or someone with like more power and privilege than people, anyone does in a culture, asks you an honest question like that. It is a gift to be honest back.

With somebody like Kyle, I feel comfortable telling the truth to because he's earned that. Yeah. So what I'm going to say to Kyle is the truth. And I hope that Kyle holds it with the gift that it is as he's earned this truth. Kyle's question and when men ask me that question, it reminds me very much of what Dr. Blay, Dr. Yaba Blay, who just please listen to Dr. Yaba Blay's episode, said to us about how she feels when white people ask her how to be an ally. What she said was that it is very confusing to her when white women always need to have seminars and IG lives and questions about like what do we do to, you know, stop the killing and stop the injustice and stop all of it. She told us that she felt like that was a confusing thing that we would need to be taught empathy or taught what justice looks like or taught. She said when animals need to be protected or when your people need to be protected, you don't have to have diversing. training. You don't have to like, you just know what to do because empathy tells you what to do, because you fight like your life is on, you know, at stake because it is. But you don't see yourself

in me and it doesn't seem as important so that you have to have training for it. And so I think what what would be amazing and important is if men would get together and figure out for themselves what they would do if their bodily autonomy were under attack, if they were being sexually assaulted at unbelievable rates, if they were constantly at risk and constantly second class citizens, what would they do? And then do that thing. Because it's a double responsibility then for women to feel all the rage, to feel, to process being second class citizens, to process all of it, and then to teach them what to do. And so when I feel all the time,

when I feel that to men, it makes me remember that that is how I am to black women, to women of color. Like whatever annoyance or rage or disbelief I have that men are not organizing like their families are on fire is the exact same way that, black women likely feel that white women are not organizing like our lives are on fire. That's right.

Because it's pretty simple. Act like it's happening to you. Act like it's happening to you. That's good. If you want to know how to act, act like it's happening to you. And then it's humbling because I'm not acting like my. kids are getting pulled over and shot by cops. Like, I'm not acting like that's happening to me.

And so it's a challenge to all of us. And to not pretend that asking the people who are under attack what to do is part of doing something. Yep. And also, Kyle, love you! Yes. Good job, Kyle. We really do.

I mean, you know, when Yava has told us that, when she's able to share, it's because she trusts us to handle it and and she like on that podcast she said like Kyle we told you that because you are a man who we thought deserved to hear the gift of the truth yeah not for nothing the claiming of women's bodies as a means of production of the state through the action that is very likely to come down from the Supreme Court overturning row, you don't even have to act like it's happening to you, men. It very much is happening to you. Abortion as medical care is a man's issue too.

Yes. Because 100% of the time, that is what's happening. Yeah. And we know men know how to get organized. I mean, you know, they're starting doing startups all the time. Like get together, make a plan. Unleash your venture capital selves or whatever it is that they, you know, like just do the organizing, figure it out. And then just do it. And that would be great. Okay. We're going to move on to Donna. Yeah, we've got Donna. Hi. My name is Donna Ritterman. And my question is, do you think any of this, including all of the podcasts? are relevant for a 68-year-old person. I think it's too late to change and that my chance would have been a long time ago. But I'm just curious about what you think.

Thank you. Donna, I love me some Donna, and I have so much reverence for folks who are older than me. Yeah. I always have. I really feel like the stories that they carry with them are our stories. And I don't believe that it is ever too old to change.

And I think what she's saying, like what I hear is, does it matter? Like what I hear from her is, I'm listening, my mind is opening, but does it matter? It's like our culture really can do a number on an older woman. It makes us feel like we are so irrelevant at a certain point. Like when we're no longer producing what the culture wants us to produce, whether that's children or whether that's work or whatever, it's a beautiful question. When a 68-year-old woman has an awakening, does anybody hear it? I love that question. I do too.

I think it's revolutionary. I do too. And I think that a 68-year-old woman who is willing to be open to change gives the possibility for a 58-year-old woman to know that change is possible for her. inner 60s. I just think that it is all so relevant to all of us because we are discarded after the time where we can birth children or, I mean, we've heard the menopause episode. It's just my mom texts us about every single episode. She listens to my mom's, hi, Mama. She's listening right now. Here's what I think we should do. Because we don't know. I think if you are 68 years old, If you're like 65 or older, let's get a group going.

Let's do it. Email, sister, say some email words. Okay. And then here is what we'll do because look, when we just talked about like consciousness raising groups, like, Donna and a bunch of her badass cheetahs should just talk to each other. Yes. I will kick you off. I will come to your first meeting and kick off that goddamn cheetah.

What's the email? Okay, so if you are 60 or older. Oh, 60. Okay. Yeah, we're just inclusive here. If you are 60 or better and you wish to join with the other goddamn cheetahs of Donna's variety, we are going to receive your emails at W-C-D-H-T. That seems weird, but it's we can do hard things. The first letters.

W-C-D-H-T pod. That's POD at gmail.com. Email us. If we have enough interest, we will set up a group, connect you all. I love the idea. Because remember what Ashton Applegate was talking about at the anti-aging episode? It's like the siloing of generations is the same as the siloing of genders, of women. It's like, I want to learn from Donna.

We're all walking around. We don't even learn from the people who've already done all the shit we're trying to do. all just reinventing the wheel. I would love to learn from some donnas. I love it. It's a new year and instead of trying to reinvent myself, I've been asking a simpler question. What would actually support me right now? And honestly, a big part of that answer is my home. I want my space to feel calmer, more functional and a little more like a place that can reflect my goals and energy for this year, which is why I've been turning. to Wayfair. It's truly a one-stop shop for everything your home needs this season. What surprised me

most was how easy it was to find exactly what I wanted in my style and within my budget, whether you're organizing kids' rooms, upgrading your work from home setup, tackling clutter, or just trying to make weeknight dinners easy. Wayfair really does have everything. Your home doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to support the life you're living right now. Get organized. Refrust. and back on track this new year for way less. Head to wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair.

Every style, every home. Now, I think we might have to go to our last question. Okay, okay. So we have Christine. Hi, Abby and Glennon and Amanda. I'm so excited to celebrate the one-year anniversary of your podcast. And it is also the one-year anniversary of when I started chemo. My very first chemo was last year on May 11th, my birthday Eve, and I listened to that podcast

sitting in the chair. And I think many things hit me that day, but especially the song. And it still brings me to tears every episode. I just wanted to ask you how that song has a song, has been instrumental in the podcast and how it has touched you guys too. Thanks so much for all work you're doing. Christine. Christine, I'm so grateful that we ended with this question because the amount of hard things that people have gone through this year, it's just this one little year since we started this, I mean, people who have written to us and posted the chemo, the divorces, the losses, the deaths, the friendships, all the things that we've gone through together and that this community has, I don't know, we've been a little bit of a touch tree for each other

during that time. And the song, just for those of you who don't know, that Tish wrote that song based on some of the, Tish our middle child. Yeah. And then she is based on some of the ideas from Untamed and then she sent it to our friend Brandy Carlisle and Brandy produced it up. And I still, it's still, I actually can't listen to it sometimes because it makes me have too many feelings. I will, I have to be in a really good place to listen to the whole thing. Um, so I know what you mean. Christine, it's a bit of an anthem, bit of a lullaby for all of us. And Christine, happy birthday.

Yes. And happy making it through chemo. Happy being a badass. I just realized that Christine's anniversary. of her chemo is today the same as our podcast. And it's our birthday. And it's Christine's birthday. It's like a cosmic moment. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Christine. And we can do hard things. Happy birthday to you. Christine, we love you. Thank you. Thank you. I want to ask a favor of the pod squad.

Oh. My mama is going through a health thing right now. And don't worry, I got her approval to say this. But I'm asking for prayers for my mother, Judy. And we're all, actually, all three of us are wearing our Mary medallion. Because Mary has Judy's back. Big significance. She's a prayer and she likes prayers. And so please pray for my mama over the next week. week or so. She needs it. And thank you. Nana, you've got Cheetahs sending you all the strength and love. And look at what you raised. You made this one. You can get through this week. We love you so much. Y'all, guess what you did? What? You did it. You did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. You've done it. We love you. We love you so much. We're so grateful. We really are. This is

very real and true and important to us. And you are not alone. You are not alone. We're going to keep doing this. We can do hard things. We can do hard things. We will see you back here just in a couple short days. Don't forget this week when life gets hard, you can do hard things. We're with you. We love you all so much. Bye. I give you Tishmilton and Brandy Carlisle. I came out the other side I chased desire I made sure I got what's mine and I continued to believe

that I'm the one for me because I'm a... Because we're adventurers and heart breaks I'll map a fine destination we've stopped asking directions to places places they've never had to be left we can do a hard a brand new star sometimes things fall apart

I continue to believe less people are free and it took some time but I'm finally fun because we're adventurers and heart breaks on the destination we've stopped asking directions to places places they've never been to be loved We'll find so hard to play never been. And too can do. We Can Do Hard Things is produced in partnership with Cadence 13 Studios. Be sure to rate, review, and follow the show on Apple Podcasts, Odyssey, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Especially be sure to rate and review the podcast if you really liked it. If you didn't, don't worry about it. It's fine.