We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle - 13. Brave Parenting Qs & the Power of Saying YES!

Episode Date: July 29, 2021

Glennon and Amanda decided to add a second episode each week after Glennon’s big move to California—in the first Thursday episode, they discuss: 1. Glennon’s experiment of Saying Yes to anything the universe invites her to. 2. How much screen time is too much screen time? 3. Are we all just Pendulum Parenting (over-correcting parents’ mistakes and screwing our kids up in the equal and opposite way our parents screwed us up)?

Well, hey everybody, welcome back to We Can Do Hard Things. This is a really exciting day because we decided to add an episode each week. And the reason we decided to do that is because, well, we missed you once a week didn't seem enough. Also, we were hearing from you that you felt quite abandoned for the rest of the week. And thirdly, the responses to each episode and the questions you're sending. are so amazing and there are so many and we haven't been able to get to enough of them on our first episode each week. So now we're coming to you for a second episode. Hi, sister. Hello, G-bird. This is so wild. I'm looking at you and your background looks completely

different. And you, this is the first time I'm seeing you in your new state. I know. And you all, it's a little bit echoy. I'm very sorry. I'm doing my best, but I am in a house with nary a piece of furniture. And so the echo is just the empty halls of this home, which is in a new place we moved from Florida to Southern California all the way across the whole damn country with all of us, the whole famed family. So me, Abby, Craig, Chase, Tish, Emma, our four dogs, just the whole, it was like National lampoons move across the country, but we made it. And we're here. And now I'm even further from

you, sister. I miss you. It was those hours that you're all in the plane. I mean, it was the most anxious. The whole time I'm like, everyone, that one little bucket of tin has all of my people in it. And I couldn't breathe. It was really tough. But then you landed and I realized I probably needed to get medicated. And it was so happy. I'm so excited for all of you. Thank you. We're excited too. It's all the newness here. We're trying to figure things out. We don't know anybody. We don't know what to do with ourselves. It's like that very beginning of moving where you realize, oh, I don't have a doctor. I don't have an orthodontist for my kids. I don't have any friends. I don't know. So that's just like me normally, actually. Yeah, yeah. here for 20 years, but that's fine. Right. So maybe it's actually a good excuse. Like, it makes sense that I don't have any of those things. But it's interesting that you say how you're, you know, you've done things the last 20 years because I, the kids keep saying, well, how am I going to make friends? How am I going to make friends? And you realize, oh, my God, that is such a huge

responsibility when you move kids. It's like, you're kind of, you have to help them co-create this whole other life, this whole new life. And so Abby and I've been talking about a lot. And then we are like, wait, we have to make friends. Like, how do we make friends? Like, Emma gets to go to soccer, but like I have no active. Where am I going to meet people? Yeah, but that's elective. I mean, I feel like for kids, when you think about the reality of being a kid, okay, it makes, I mean, it makes me just my blood go cold. I mean, here, is here, small child, get on this bus, go be shipped to this place, be surrounded by strangers, hopefully someone you've seen before, and have to forge your way every day. I mean, they have to

make friends. They're just in this world, you and Abby could decide you don't want to make friends. You and Craig and Abby could hang out forever. But they have to. It just feels very precarious and scary to be a child. And then they have to go. And then by the way, and God, as a teacher, I used to watch this, we tell them, you know, make friends, be with people who are good to you. And then they don't get to pick who they hang out with. Exactly.

They're stuck in the same class, on the same team. It's like the one thing about being a grown up that is good. The one thing is you actually get to choose who you spend your time with. Right. And then that is also the hard thing about being a grownup. I mean, we're going to have to do a whole episode on friendship and what the hell it is and how we all do it or don't do it because I have always been just freaking terrible at it. I don't get it. I think it's because you and I have been kind of everything to each other since we were born. Right. So we haven't relied on outside people to, I don't know. Why do you? do you think that I'm so bad at it? It's like when I meet someone, first of all, as a sensitive person, I'm just hyper aware of everything they're doing and saying and everything I'm feeling and all of the things. But also it feels like when you start a friendship, you're signing a contract or something. Like the person's going to, we're going to start texting and then that's going to

lead to emailing and then that's going to lead to invitations. And then I'm going to be in the situation where I've lost complete control of my life. And this person's going to expect things of me that I can't do and I'm going to end up disappointing someone. As an introvert, I always feel like I'm going to end up disappointing someone. That makes sense to me. I think it's based on what people need. I mean, you, when you have with your friendships, what you need is someone who you have a deep soul alignment with who you feel understood and can understand and that you trust deeply. And that person can be your very close friend and you can talk to them once every year and a half. And that fills your bucket up completely. Whereas other people that is not their love

language. Like they need the togetherness, the constant contact, the fun together, the whatever fills up their bucket. And when you don't have an alignment of those things. It's just one person hustling to fill up the other person's bucket. But that's why you and Liz are so beautiful together because that's how you operate.

And so I think it's just a difference in what people are looking for. But when I was leaving Naples, this small group of friends that I had made that I didn't spend a lot of time with, actually, but I did love. They were all so wonderful. and I was leaving and I had this deep regret feeling of like, why didn't I spend more time with

these people? Why? Wow. Like they were right here and they're so awesome and I didn't spend. So what I'm trying to tell you is that I am going to be a new woman here. That's my goal. Like I want to spend the next decade now that my kids are older figuring out friendship. You heard it here, folks.

He heard it here first. Glenn is going to be a new woman. Get ready. She's texting all y'all back. Well, no, no, no, no, no. That's scary. But we decided we're going to say yes to everything. Craig actually knows someone here, and we saw this person while we were on a family walk the other day.

And this person invited us to this thing this weekend, which I believe is like a get-together where people are just going to like get together. Get together? Whoa. California is wild. I know. And the woman who was so nice and open said, Would you all like to come? And guess what I said, sister? I said, yes. We are going to be the yes

family of the next several months. We're just going to say yes to anything the universe invites us to. And we're going to try to make friends. And I'm really, I'm really excited. Okay. I want you, listener, and me to begin the countdown to the point in an episode, three episodes from now in which Glenn turns from the yes person to the yes, but please give me your phone number so I can regretfully cancel on the day of. Right, exactly. Well, usually when I make a plan, then I just feel like it's a game of chicken that I'm hoping the other person cancels first.

So I wait, hope, because if the other person cancels, it's so ideal because then you don't look like the flaky one who canceled. You can be so gracious that they canceled. You know, oh, disappointed, but it's okay. And it's just so ideal, you know. So what I'm saying, sister, is that I do want to have friendship in my life. And I am going to try because we can do our friends. Thank you.

New state, new chapter. Here we go, friendship. Here we go. Give it an old college try. What could go wrong? What could go? wrong. Okay. So here's what we're going to do now. We have so many, had so many amazing questions after our conversation this week on parenting. I mean, when I tell you that we had thousands of

thousands of questions through our Instagram and also through our voicemails, I would not be exaggerating. It was absolutely amazing. So we are going to get to a few more of them today during our hard cues. Does that sound good? It sounds great. And I think that who knows if we will have answers to any of these, but I think it's just, it was just astounding how many hundreds of questions came in that were the exact same story. And I think it's just for listening to understand that we are all having very similar experiences. And I think it's just, who knows if we have answers, but telling the story might make sure that you don't feel alone in your story. Yeah. When you were talking, I just thought of this old poem that's like, I thought it was I alone who suffered. And then I climbed on my roof and saw that every house is on fire.

That's parenting. Right. Nobody's alone. Every damn house is on fire. And so, yeah, we don't have answers. I mean, we, I just got a letter from my friend Karen when I moved from Naples and the back of it said, thank you for being a curious listener. Thank you for never offering directions to places you've never been.

Oh, my God, that's good. I know. Because you always use it on other people and you don't accept directions, but you also do such a good job of not offering directions because you've never been where these people are going. That's beautiful. I'm just saying to you, sweet listener, if it feels like we're not answering the questions directly, that's because we're not answering the questions directly. Because we don't really have any answers. We just have, you know, solidarity. Right. Right. Okay. So let's go. Let's hear our first question. Okay. This first question is a write-in, which is my favorite. How many Disney movies a day is too many?

Oh, bless you. How many Disney movies. Okay, well, the specificity of the Disney movie reference requires me to interject, first of all, if it's a Disney movie, you must make sure that you're telling your little one. Okay, little one. We do not sacrifice our voices for princes, okay? We do not fall asleep for years and be unconscious waiting for some prince to kiss us awake. Okay, so we do make sure that we, um, you know, are challenging old,

ridiculous messages in the Disney movies. Having said that, I have big feelings about screen time sister. And I think that maybe any real parenting experts who are listening might blow up our feet after this, but I'm going to tell you something. I feel like most of my angst raising little kids was about freaking screen time. I mean, it was like this idea that a good parent had limited screen time and a bad parent had lots of screen time. And that was like the main indicator. And like all day when I was just dripping with children and like trying to keep everyone occupied, there was this running shame voice in my head. Like how many hours has it been? How many minutes has it been? And I don't know. I just put so much guilt upon myself for how long

they were watching TV. Then I started thinking about what that is all about. And I think there's some part of it that is our culture's obsession with constant productivity and no rest. It's like when we see people resting, especially our children who we are supposed to be responsible for molding, we feel shame because our culture teaches us that rest is shameful. Right. But we When I think back, actually, Sister, to my best memories of childhood. And this could be because of my homebodiness and my obsession with coziness. But my best memories are, do you remember on Thursday nights when we used to actually be able to sit down on the couch and watch family ties? And just all snuggle.

That's why we quit gymnastics. Yes, because it was on Thursday nights. Yes, we're not ready to give up our one freaking half hour. of sitting there. Like snuggling up with your family or yourself and like being on the couch and watching TV is so wonderful. It is. It is.

It is. And that's, I think the, I mean, I love the question because it's a difference between like if you're on a tablet 24 hours a day. Yeah, that's a different thing. Right. Please see my child playing. God knows. what on whatever terrible video game it is. But it feels wholesome the movie nights or the TV

nights. It feels like, look at us. We're basically doing an activity. Oh my God. Haven't you gotten to that point? Like the screen time, the individual screen time has become so intense that now, if my whole family is watching TV together, I'm like, oh my God, this is a freaking Norman Rockwell moment. Like we are, this is a plus parenting. We are basically camping in a national work right now. Oh my God. This is a shared experience of love and joy. And by the way, I'm going to say this one thing. I like doing things with the kids. I like adventures, yada yada. But my favorite family moments are when we are all in a row staring at something not talking. And when it's a screen, that's helpful. Like when we are snuggled together, no one is talking to each other. And we are all

together. I love that. I love when no one is talking to each other. So I don't know. So the answer is none. No, no, no, no. None is too many. No, opposite of that. Wait. There is no such thing as too many movies with togetherness and family time. Also, you heard it here. You heard it here first. Watch them. And then if you watch like a documentary, forget it. That's like your, that counts as reading time too. Right. Right. Think, you know what you can do if you're worried about reading time and teaching your children? Just turn on the closed captions. Excellent reading activity. We read for eight hours today. Oh my God. And then, you know, they yell for a snack and you give them an apple. That's freaking health class, basically, you know. And then they have to figure out the remote technology. STEM. STEM. You're basically creating a STEM genius. So. You heard it from the sisters here.

We can do easy things like lots of movies incorporating the curriculum into that couch time. Amazing. It's a new year and instead of trying to reinvent myself, I've been asking a simpler question. What would actually support me right now? And honestly, a big part of that answer is my home. I want my space to feel calmer, more functional and a little more like, a place that can reflect my goals and energy for this year, which is why I've been turning to Wayfair. It's truly a one-stop shop for everything your home needs this season.

What surprised me most was how easy it was to find exactly what I wanted in my style and within my budget, whether you're organizing kids' rooms, upgrading your work from home setup, tackling clutter, or just trying to make weeknight dinners easy. Wayfair really does have everything. Your home doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to support the life you're living right now. Get organized, refreshed, and back on track this new year for way less. Head to wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com.

Wayfair. Every style, every home. Okay. Next question. This is a call-in. So yeah, my name is Alexandra. I am sitting here calling you rocking my baby. I guess I have a question about my baby and parenthood. I'm wondering if y'all have advice on navigating some of the transitions with identity when it comes to becoming a new parent,

I've just been sort of blindsided by how quickly I feel like my priorities have shifted and how the impact that becoming a mother has had in my relationship with my friends and with my husband and with my own parents and my siblings. So I guess if you have any thoughts on how I'm to navigate being a new parent and understanding identity shifts, that would be really great. I love your show, and I hope you guys are doing okay. Bye. Okay, well, I want to start by saying navigating is probably not the right word.

Like, navigating is when I think of a boat, and you're holding like a map, and the weather is fine, and you're like, which way should we go? I'm going to plan this trip. But she said she was rocking a baby, okay, which means she just had a baby. So your boat, there's a large storm. A large storm has come, okay? Very large storm. And you're a captain of that boat.

And so the map is gone. Like you're not right now deciding which way to go planning a route, okay? When the baby comes, the storm is a. Brewin. Batten the hatches, people. Batten the freaking hatches. You're not like, oh, how do I navigate my friendships? How do I navigate my relationship with your friends are dead to you?

Your mom's dead to you. This is not, no. Okay. This is storm level. It's like emergency time, right? It's the fog of war. I remember when that was the most helpful, one of my friends, like three weeks in, texted me and was like, how is it going in the fog of war?

And it was so liberating because it really truly feels like you're in a war zone and you're just like you're like army crawling through the day. And I think if we just set it up like that, then people would feel less ashamed of the very logical consequences of war. But Alexander just put all those words together. I mean, Alexandra is an overachiever. Guess you shouldn't, guess you doesn't need an answer from us? Alexandra.

That's damn right. Lord have mercy. Yeah. Alexandra, you with all of those fancy sentences and words that make sense are crushing it. Okay. I really, but for everyone else who was more like us and not putting together sentences at the beginning, I mean, you know, we talk a lot about identity and keeping ourselves. And, you know, that's what untimed was all about.

And I just don't think any of it applies to new parents. I don't think you can have nice things with you. You can't have nice things like an identity and peace. It's just survival mode. So I think one thing you can do is release the desire, release the need for that. and just know that during this time, it is a bit of a time outside of time, right? Yeah. And you don't have to be terrified that you're never, ever going to get yourself back.

You will. If you're already thinking about getting yourself back when you have an infant, that's coming. Okay. So there will be a time when once again you're trying to find your soul, you know, separate from this role that you've just taken on. But for now, Alexandra, just go easy. Go easy on you. The war will pass. The storm will pass. You once again will be navigating your own life. So true. And when you think about it, how many times does someone start? You start a brand new big job, right? You just got a big promotion. You start a brand new job. People lead with, oh, have you seen Mark lately? No. He just got a brand new position. He's really over. Like, Mark isn't worried about his identity and navigating his relationship. Mark just got a

brand new, really big-ass job. Okay? So did you, Alexandra. You just, you just keep on keeping on through that job and you'll come back. You'll come back. Be like Mark. Be like Mark. I wish you got paid like Mark. Yeah. Do I? Damn it to help Mark. Okay. This is a write-in. Glennon. Did you ever feel guilty for just wanting to be alone sometimes? Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah. But, okay, I just, this is, this is a story I want to tell about this. It's quick, I promise. But I was doing Dr. Bray Brown's podcast early in the untamed days when it first came out. And we were talking about this ridiculous situation we find ourselves in parenting where we are still human beings who have needs. But like suddenly no one cares. N-A, not applicable. Not applicable. Your needs and personality and none of that matters, right?

And Brunay was talking about this situation where she had just come home from this long business trip, okay? And she was freaking exhausted. She was freaking exhausted. But she got home and that night one of her kids had this school event. And she felt, she just felt like she could not go because she was so desperate for some alone time. And I'm sure she gets mobbed at those things. Exactly. Of course she does.

And she just needed a minute. But of course the mom guilt of like, oh, I've already been gone. And now I'm going to tell my kid that I can't go to a school thing. I probably missed three things this week. And now I'm here. But she, her need was so desperate that she just did it. She said to her son, I'm so sorry. Like, I can't go to that thing.

I have, I need some alone time. Right? Okay. A week later, her kid, there was, something that he was supposed to go to for school. And he said, no, I'm not going to go. I can't go. I don't want to go. He came to her and told her a story about how he feels like he's an introverted person. And sometimes he feels like there's no space for him in the world that he has to go to all of these things or he's being a mean or he's being antisocial or he's being whatever. He didn't

know that you got to say, no, I have needs. I need alone time. He didn't. He didn't. He didn't. He know that until Bray did it, until Bray made it modeled it for him. And her saying, no, I'm not going to her own kid's thing, allowed him the freedom to say, oh, I see, we are human beings who have needs and personalities, and we get to assert them. We get to say no. So I would just say to that caller, like, or that right in, maybe switch it. Like, instead of saying, oh, I have this need that is going to take away from my child. Like it's a zero-sum game. It's like, no, I have this need and I need to show it to my child.

So my child knows that whatever needs they have, they get to get met also. That's so good because same same with every other need. Yes. If you need to cry in this moment because you're so overwhelmed. I'll do that sometimes where I used to try to keep it in. And then I'll just like get super upset and I'll just say I'm having a really rough time. right now. It's not you guys. It's just I'm having a really rough time and all. It's just for any need that you're modeling, then they don't have to be secretive about their own needs or feel like

there's something wrong with them. That's good. So then one day when Bobby or Alice is feeling overwhelmed and they just need to break down, they get to because they've seen their mom have that freedom and they get to have that freedom too without shame. So yeah, that's my answer to that sweet. Just be alone. Talk about your need to be alone in front of your kids. Great. Have you ever hit a point at work where everything just feels heavy? Not just a bad week, but the kind of burnout where you're staring at your laptop thinking, I can't keep doing it like this.

You're not alone. Strawberry. Strawberry.me is career coaching that helps you get to the real root of your burnout, whether it's workload, boundaries, a tough manager, or feeling disconnected from the work you used to love. Our coaches help you untangle what's draining you, build boundaries that actually stick, redesign your day-to-day so it energizes you and create a plan so burnout doesn't sneak back. And with a new year starting, it's the perfect moment to rethink how you want to feel. You can get matched with a coach in just a few minutes and sessions are flexible, private,

and built around the reality of your life. Go to strawberry.comme slash we can do hard things and try a coaching session for 50% off. Strawberry dot me because your career should feel good again. Here's another right in. Glennon, why do they just keep talking? Oh, my God. Because we taught them that. We steered them so wrong.

This is my thought about that. So when I was growing up, I felt we all had different parents. Our parents were raising us in different generations. Okay. Right. So I always had this feeling that there was not enough room for me to speak or to have big feelings, right? As a kid. So in response, because so many of us are just parenting in response, right? Everything that our parents did, we're just doing the

opposite. Okay. So here's what happens when that's the way we parent. I taught my children to express every freaking thing that comes to their freaking minds to talk about every feeling that they have. And sometimes, sister, you know this. Sometimes I'm listening. I'm looking at my child who has been speaking at me for two hours about their feelings. It's like a hostage situation, right? And I'm just looking at them thinking, oh, I have done you so wrong. Like I should have taught you the benefits of suffering silence.

I have over corrected. And now you think that everybody cares about every single thing that you think or feel or what. So I still prefer that to not having enough room. And I think in the long run it works out. But it's just this idea that we're really just like pendulum parenting. Actually, we should do a whole episode about that. Just this idea that we're pendulum parenting that whatever childhood trauma we have, we just go the absolute opposite and just screw them up.

other way. Yes. That's exactly right. Kind of like how we were like, there was very, we knew what we were supposed to do and what we weren't supposed to do. And there was a lot of discipline in our house. And I feel like I go the opposite way where I'm like, well, I know, I realize why this would be so frustrating to you. And I know it's so. And then I'm like, uh-oh, I accidentally made assholes. So because I'm just so I don't want the like hyper disciplined environment. And it's going completely the other way. And it's so fascinating because if you really, I know this is off the talking concept, but I was talking to my friend who also had a very disciplined household.

And she was like one of very many children. She they all the, it was all like work ethic. taking care of yourself, taking care of the family. So at six years old, she's, she is baking the entire family's bread consumption for the week. They literally had the chickens. She's baking for the family. So needless to say, she's a very self-sufficient person, has been through a lot. So we were talking recently about, you know, we did, we've learned to take care of ourselves so much. And we're growing up raising these kids who are going to have other people tying their shoes until they graduate from college because they were just handing them everything

in response to that. And I was like, I just don't know. They're just going to, are they ever going to get a job? And she's like, you know what? I don't know if that's true. She's like, we tell ourselves that, but is that true? And can we just, might they just be happy? And is that okay? And it made me think of this idea that sometimes we reframe our things that we've been through our difficulties and we create this like causal link between those difficulties and our strength now to make sense of it, right? To say it's because of that that we're like this. But it's just, super interesting to think, is that always the case? And do we actually, does the pendulum, because there's always this guilt, right? The same thing with them. Now my kids have no discipline,

and I have this guilt because they're not going to have the self-discipline I have. Like, is that true? Or is it that we just, is it that we just create a story about the stories of our life and about how we came out and that they're not everything and we're raising our kids and not everything our kids are need to be in response to our own stories and our own experiences. Yeah, that's so true. It's like we're creating the pendulum out of air. Like maybe the stories aren't really at all. Yeah, that's interesting. Cool. But yes, they talk way too much. Okay, here's a call in. My name is Ali. Um, first of all, Hello to Glennon's sister in the Pod Squad.

I'm just curious after hearing you guys talk about drinking and both of your relationships with it, how both were either of you approach it with your children, and especially your children who are like in high school or going into college. That's a really interesting topic for me that I feel like isn't covered a lot in most substance podcasts or talks. Thank you guys so much. This is a tricky one. I have no, you know, like black and white answers for this because for us, it's talking about alcohol has been kind of like talking about sex. Like we just do it often, but like poorly. You do sex? You do sex often and poorly? No, we don't. We don't. No, we just do sex poorly. But the sex talks is what I'm saying. Like it's not like a one time thing. It's just like this ongoing attempt to basically when I'm talking about alcohol or sex with my kids. I'm not really trying to deliver any information.

I'm really not. I'm just trying to make the actual topic less terrible and awkward to talk about. Does that make sense? Because I never know exactly. I mean, sex is a freaking quagmire of confusion for me. So it's not like I have any expertise I'd like to share. You're like, would you like broccoli or carrots tonight? Volva.

Anyway. And P.S. I think, so the kids now are like, whatever, mid-teens to older teens. It's just starting to become less terribly awkward to talk about. And I've been trying for so many years. Anyway, she's talking about alcohol. Okay. my kids know everything about my alcoholism, not every detail, but they do know that their mom started drinking very, very early and that it became addicted to alcohol and that it deeply negatively affected my life for a very long time until I quit.

And that Abby and I are a sober family, right? So they don't see alcohol in our house. We're not, we have no alcohol. And they also know that they have likely a gene that might make them more susceptible to becoming addicted to alcohol should they allow it to become part of their life. Okay. So I would say that I don't know in the long run how that will affect them. I don't know if they will be drinkers. I don't know if they will be sober.

I don't know any of that. I don't know how it's going to affect them in the long run. I just know that they do have the information that they need. And I'm trying to just kind of make sure that they know the truth about that. What do you have much younger kids? What do you plan to or do you already talk about? We just talk about, I mean, they know what wine is. They know what beer is.

They know they did ask. ask when I stopped drinking, they asked, well, why did you stop drinking? And if there was a reason for you to stop, why does daddy still drink? So, you know, they're obviously noticed things. And I just said, I stopped drinking because I was concerned that there was, that I could possibly become addicted to drinking and addicted to drinking means that you, that it controls you instead of you controlling it. And daddy does not have the same fear or concerns about being addicted. And that, and I just say drinking is, you know, having some alcohol is fine when you start to feel out of control.

It isn't, but it's fine for some people and not fine for other people. So we don't, we haven't talked to them about their predisposition. to this yet, but we just kind of talk about it regularly. Yeah. In that way. And it's interesting when there's one parent that drinks alcohol and the other one that doesn't, you have to be very careful. We have found not to assign moral value to deciding not to drink or to drink, right?

Because if you are sober family, you know, if Abby and I are sober, the kids as young, I was afraid that they would start to think, oh, not drinking good, drinking bad, because Craig has beers, right? So I did notice that, you know, one of my kids would start to make comments about people who were drinking like they were making bad choices, even if they were adults. You know, so I had to kind of get in there with that. This show is brought to you by Alma. When I first tried to find a therapist, it felt like a scavenger hunt with no map,

pages of names, long wait lists, voicemails that never got returned. I remember thinking, if this is what it takes just to talk to someone, no wonder people give up. So when I found Alma, it felt like someone finally turned the lights on. Alma, ALMA, is this beautifully simple way to find licensed, in-network therapists without all the runaround. You can browse without even making an account. And you can filter for what actually matters. The therapist's approach, background, specialty, lived experience, whatever helps you feel understood.

Nearly everyone who finds a therapist through Alma, 97% say they felt genuinely seen and heard. Better with people, better with Alma. Visit helloalma.com slash we can to schedule a free consultation today. That's hello-a-l-m-a-com slash W-E-C-A-N. Such amazing cues. I think that this parenting Q and A or Q and more Q. Q and Q is Q and S, Q in solidarity. Yes.

But we want to end our second, our episode two a week with something that is making life easier, right? Because we can do hard things, but sometimes we just need a little ease and joy. So I have a couple things. Can I start this one? Yes. I don't know if you have anything. that's making life easier, but I have two things. Okay. The first thing is this show that I can't tell you. I love it so much. My whole family loves it. We've been just inhaling it, and it's called hacks.

Oh, gosh. You've been tweeting about this. Oh, my God, I cannot stand it. It's Gene Smart, who is just so freaking brilliant in it. And it's about this older woman comedian and younger woman comedian and how their lives intertwine. And it's just, it's feminist, but it's like, at an end, it's full of heart and the writing is incredible and the messages are so good. And our whole family has been watching it together. There's a few spicy parts that we had to, you know, like sweat through with the children.

So just know that. They'll start some good sex and drug talk. actually, if you would like to jumpstart those conversations. Another reason the movie night is so good. Right. Look at that. It's like a freaking after school, after school special. You can just, yeah.

But I just think it's special. I think it's so different, but it reminds me of like the Ted Lasso of this year. It's just full of heart. It's like if it's like the, I don't know, hacks will make your life easier and better. Okay. And then there's this also amazing thing that people have been trying to get me to try for ages. And I kind of have this like sneaking suspicion that every single day that it will change my life if I do it. And, and I still don't do it ever. Because there's so many things this

could be. As you're leading up, I'm like, there's like, what do you think? Take a guess. What could it be? Okay. So it's this idea that all of these health nut people are always telling me to do. And it's, it's called drinking water. Oh, yeah. That's very on trend. It's like water is like, it's like if you took a coffee, but then you filtered out the coffee, what would be left is called water. And it's like this clear thing, liquid that, I don't know, sporty people drink. Where can you get it? Where do you get yours? I mean, there's different places. But like in my kitchen, I have this thing that I just go and it just pours out. It just pours out.

I know. I know. So I've been drinking water and I've been trying for, you this is, everyone's going to get mad at me, but I'm just trying for two glasses a day at the beginning. I know, sister, it's bad. I'm serious. I don't drink water. I'm a dehydrated prune.

Okay. But I would like to so far extol the virtue, the life changing virtue of water. Like, I. feel better. I feel better with just my two little glasses. I'm going to go for three. Okay. So jury's still out on this people, but Glennon has a hunch. Water good. Yes. It makes me feel better. Okay. So I feel like I could, I just, after I drink a glass of water, I feel like I'm one of those health gurus. Like I should be an influencer. I should be a health influencer. If you get sponsored by water? No. I know. Okay.

So we can do hard things that we can also do easy things. We can watch hacks. And by the way, I don't like know them or like I'm not, I don't have any affiliation with that. They're going to write to us and be like, please stop invoking our show in your show. And drink a glass of freaking water. Okay, every time I think I'm a big think I'm a big, I have big feelings. I get really overwhelmed.

Okay. And so at least once a day, I think I have to have a new life. I have to quit my job. I have to have a new state. I have to move. I have to have a new family. I have to have a new religion. I have to have new friends.

I hate everything. I need all of these big things. And what I think I really need is just a glass of water. Right? Like when the big feelings come, think small. Drink a glass of water. We love you so much. We can do hard things, but let's also try easier.

All right, we'll see you next week. We Can Do Hard Things is produced in partnership with Cadence 13 Studios. Be sure to rate, review, and follow the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Odyssey, or wherever you get your podcasts. Especially be sure to rate and review the podcast if you really liked it. If you didn't, don't worry about it. It's fine.