We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle - 144. EASY FRIDAYS: Trick or Treat

Episode Date: October 28, 2022

No digging deep. No paradigm shifts to be found. Welcome to Easy Fridays. P.S. Thanks to @ohnochels & @dmc1138 for the haunted house laughs.

Okay, are we ready? No, no, when we start. We're starting. I was born ready. Okay, I was born ready. I know. Okay. Okay.

I don't know what's happening. Well, look, I'm just trying to get fired up. We're trying to have a Friday is what's happening. Okay. Do you hate joy? She does. I mean, I do you hate joy. I do hate joy.

It's the weirdest. But I'm working on it. It's Friday. Okay, here's the deal. Let's go. Welcome to We Can Do Hard Things. I'm surrounded by freaking joyful people. My coffee's not done.

My coffee is my joy and it will be inside of me soon. Welcome to Easy Fridays. We can do hard things, Pod Squad. And we have proven it again and again. Every hour after hour after hour with these paradigm shifting conversations. Today, there will not be a paradigm shift to be found. Thank God. All right?

It's an easy Friday. Unless it's like a super undercover one. No. No shifting. Somehow like a super secret one. This day is a day for me. I just feel deeply like I'm so connected to this easy Friday. When we record for Thursdays and Tuesdays, I'm like, I don't know if I know this shit.

Thank you for doing this easy Fridays for somebody like me. I think it's funny to say Thursdays and Tuesdays. I know. I went backwards. I just went backwards in my mind because guess what? I can do whatever the fuck I want. It's Easy Fridays day. We're so crazy. We're reverse chronological. It's so crazy up in here on Friday. That's the joy of Easy Fridays. I'm kind of scared because we all know that I actually, I can do hard things. I'm good at doing hard things. But I cannot do easy things that everyone

else can do. That is correct. Oh my God. That is so correct. That might be like the perfect difference between you and me. Yeah. You are really good at doing hard things and I am really good at doing easy things. It's interesting. Like winning Olympic gold medals, like easy things like that. Yes, but it was easier for me. That was easier for me. I will give you that. It was easier for you than it would have been for me. Yeah. I will give you that. So here we are going into Halloween weekend. Speaking of scary things. Okay. Scary. I want to tell you people and dogs, if you're listening, I'm sure they are. What happened to me this weekend when we are speaking of scary things?

Because I want to give you an example of not being able to do easy things. A lot of people can go to airports successfully. Get on their planes, do all the things. Going to an airport by myself for me. You know those memes that are going around right now that are like a haunted house, but for me, an airport is a haunted house. I don't, it's so much chaos. There are so many things that could go wrong.

They often do go wrong. There's lots of people moving fast, yelling. In the midst of a lot of external chaos like that, I tend to go internal. And that is the worst thing that can happen at an airport because then you're constantly missing your gate. You find, you see a bookstore. You see it as a haven of joy and peace and comfort. You go into the bookstore and then the next thing you know, your plane is gone.

So I'm at the airport this last week. I stress out. I go to the wrong gate. I only have a few minutes to go to the next gate. I go up to the gate person and I say, oh, this isn't the right gate, is it? And she goes, it's not. But we can do hard things.

Oh, did she really? That's funny. The point is, I'm like, that's not helping me right now. Exactly. So I make it to my destination and I go into the hotel. And I'm so proud of myself because I have made it through this situation, okay? But the hotel is a whole other plethora of strange new experiences every time. So I go into the hotel bathroom.

It's nighttime now. I have made it. All my stuff is in. I've got actually Bravo on the television. I go into the bathroom and I open up the little room where the toilet is. And this toilet is sitting there. I have, it looks like a spaceship. I don't know how to explain it.

There's like buttons and little lights all over it. And I open up the thing and the toilet seat rises magically. And so I'm like, what is happening now? Something will probably happen. But I sit down on the toilet. And then I look to my left and there's this panel of buttons. Okay. It's just a panel of buttons.

And I think maybe I just was drunk with my, own power because I had made it through this day and I thought I could try something different. Now, when I, you know what I'm saying? I should have kept. You can't. You can't. You can't try something different, Doyle. I can't try something different.

How many times do we have to learn? No, and what's amazing is I have not told you the story yet. Sister, I've only told two people in my life. Are you serious? You haven't told Sister? Oh, this is my most exciting moment. So I don't know what's happening with these buttons. Now, I lose my mind in the face of technology.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I just assume it's not going to work. So what I always do, which drives out me nuts, is that I just push all the buttons. So annoying. I just push all the buttons. Certainly if I just push all of them, I'll hit the right one, right? Yeah, you're covering all your bases. You're like, if I don't know which one to push, probably want to work out well as if I push 12 of them.

That's right. Many times each. That's right. Right? So I push all the buttons. The next thing that happens, sister, is I'm sitting on the toilet and a geyser shoots into my ass. Okay. The effing

toilet water attacks my ass. Wait, have you already peed in it? I already peed in it. I already peed in it. Okay, so your own piss is being

shut up your ass. No, no, no. It's coming from a different source. So. Well, we don't know because she's pressed on. I don't know that. That's interesting. But I just want to be clear

that it's not pee water. I thought it was going to flush. Okay. I don't think anything is clear, Abby. Nothing's clear. All right. So here's what happens to me. I'm attacked by the toilet from the bottom up.

Okay. My brain goes... Literally. Yeah, my brain goes, oh, this must be one of those situations that they call a bidet. Okay? Right? This is some kind of mechanical bidet. But once again, and I've pressed so many buttons that they think I need the extra charge, Mount Vesuvius.

So it's continuous? Is it keep going and going and going? No, she keeps pressing buttons. So I keep pressing buttons so it will stop. Oh, sister. Yeah, because that will stop it. Because it will keep going though. Sister, I was on that effing bidet,

Geyser ass attacker for probably seven minutes. Okay? I could not get off because it was shooting so high like a geyser that I thought, well, I'm going to, the whole hotel room's going to flood. Better my ass than these tiles. This was like a colon, Anoscopy. Wait, wait. I have a question. Yes. Is there normally where there's peanut butter, there's jelly, normally where there's a bidet, there's a toilet. Was there another structure that looks less? No. No. There was one toilet. Yeah. So this is a new. Oh, it was like the European washer dryer. Yes. It was all one. So Glennon is sitting on this toilet. I think she doesn't have a phone because she didn't go to the bathroom with her phone. Because I sure as hell would have called Abby and said, how do I?

I'm getting this geyser out of my ass. She's just sitting there. And then at one point, I kept pressing the button that said, oscillating. So then the geyser would move from my vulva all the way back to my ass and back and back geysering me from front to back. Was that nice? It sounds kind of nice. No, it wasn't nice.

It was an attack. She wasn't expecting it. She didn't know what she was getting into with those buttons. Well, I also didn't know how I was ever going to get out. Okay. So in my mind, I'm like, what am I going to have to call the people and say, I'm sorry. but your bidet attacked me and there's nothing else I could do. So can you come up and turn it off?

Anyway. Right. Right. So I finally have pressed and I stopped doing anything. I remember that line from this. Well, that was a good call. Yes. How many minutes did it take you to figure out how to stop doing nothing?

At least five solid minutes. Now, five minutes doesn't sound like a lot until you've been sitting on a guiser. Okay? So I was actually worried for my own health. I was like, is this okay? Is it okay? So I very sheepishly get off the toilet, climb into bed, I decide to stop doing anything. Does it dry you?

I was just basically in bed peeing for hours. Like it was just like coming out. Oh my God. Because what goes up must come down. I told you. I could not stop laughing. This is why it's so dangerous to leave the house. You know, new experiences, so many buttons, so many gates.

so many noises. That's so many things that could go wrong. Yeah. That's terrifying. So haunted house, but it's a toilet with 12 buttons. Buttons, exactly. Oh my gosh.

Have you seen those haunted house memes that are going around? They're the best. Oh, my God. I love it. I pulled some because I think they're so funny. A haunted house, but it's just receiving a text message

that says, call me. Oh, God. With no, with no punctuation. Nothing. That's the worst. That's, oh, no, Charles. The second night, anyone says, call me, we need a meeting. I just assume everyone's mad at me. Well, I mean, yesterday, one of our kids texted us and I was like, hey, could you call me for a minute? Everything's fine. Just, I would love to chit chat. You read it to me. And I was like, oh, my gosh. What do you think is wrong? Yeah, our kid says nothing's wrong. Everything's good. Don't worry. And we hear something terrible has happened. Call me right now. Yeah. What? That's correct. That's correct. A haunted house.

but it's rooms full of people who have literally told you their names three seconds ago, but then the person you're with asks you to introduce them. It's gone. Terrify. Nobody remembers names. We should all just have like, we should all have like a one name that we just go with. We should all have the same name. Well, also.

We should all have the same name. And then this is the thing of nightmares. So brace yourself. A haunted house, but it's just a coffee shop that only serves decat. No, that's not a coffee shop. shop. One of the things that I think is important about Halloween that I just really want to talk about, why do we want to terrify ourselves? Oh my God. Like, what is this about? I remember when I was a kid and it was like fun and exciting. But like, now that I'm an adult, I'm like, that's just actually

traumatic. I know. I'm convinced it's just that people just want to feel something. Like everybody's just like a little bit dead inside and it takes somebody jumping out with a freaking chainsaw and a scary mask to like feel something. I for one don't need that extra just a toilet scares the shit out of me. I mean, I just remember those haunted hayrides that like we'd go on and the people would come up with a chainsaw. And I was too young to understand that there was no chain on the saw. I was terrified. I know. It's so weird. I don't get it. Some people are so weird. We have a kid who's so into it. So into the terrifying movies. For me, a haunted house. but it's just actually a haunted house.

Like walking around with anything jumping out at you. Yeah, those mirror houses, those mirror like where you can't get out. And I never was one of those people that could see the exit. I was the kid that was like, bam, running straight into the mirror. Bam! I can't get out and I can't get out. I'm just going to sit. And just sit in there.

And then I'm stuck. Abby, I feel like you like scary movies. Do you like scary movies? No. I mean, when I was a kid, I think it was like a, I feel. thought watching scary movies was like the gateway to adulthood. So I was like, oh yeah, I can, I can handle this. But now that I'm an adult, I'm like, no, I don't want to be scared.

There's way too much horror in the real world to manufacture this shit. Well, I think that you're always watching scary movies, but they're not horror movies. To me, a scary movie is any movie that has a conflict. Yeah, yeah, mystery or like action. Right. Any movie that is not a rom-com that I haven't seen already. 60 times. I want to watch movies where I know what's going to happen because in real life, I don't know what's going to happen. Why would I also want to enter another experience where I don't

freaking know what's going to happen? I want to be able to recite the movie from start to finish. I have seen one situation that I think I was like, oh, maybe this is why people also like scary movies is one of our daughters loves scary movies with her friends. And when I peek in on what's going on, I can see that a scary movie that a bunch of people are watching together creates a together experience. Yeah. When you're watching a movie with people and everybody's in their own little world. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this scary movie creates these like jump scares or whatever where they're all like holding each other and responding to each other. So maybe that's it. Maybe there's like a forced in the momentness and a forced, which is why I don't want it, but like a force

in the momentness and a forced. Connectiveness. It's almost like why do people like roller coasters? Because it's like we have a kid who's super brainy and who loves roller coasters. And I always thought, oh, it's because they want to be like in their body. Yeah, in the body. Yeah. So could that? Yeah. That's true. That's psychologically true that they're. She's got it. She's got it. Scary. What's that? I said, oh, here she goes. She's going to make easy Friday hard. She's going to make fun Halloween boring. Go. It's a conduit for social bonding. There's this, all of this study by Zhang of Johns Hopkins. And it was consuming horror in a group, bonds and connects family and friends because it is linked to oxytocin. That's the hormone that is these feelings of closeness and affinity. So when you watch horror movies with your friends, you are all experiencing oxytocin together. and then you feel a sense of closeness with them. That makes sense.

That's so great. All right. Cool. I get that. All right. All right, Halloween. But I think there's something that's happening with you, Glennon, which is this, there's all of this stuff that says that you could only like horror and scary things if you have what's

called a protective frame. And it's this idea that you can only get pleasure from being horrified if you have these things where you know that you are physically safe. And that you can detach from what's happening. It's not real. Yeah. And that you can save yourself from whenever the situation it is. And so this makes sense, right?

This is why people who have experienced war don't watch war movies. They did studies where they showed that like the higher the GDP, the more like wealth and ease of conditions, the greater consumption of horror. Wow. even if it's equally available because the idea is that you don't have the psychological protective frame. Your life is too scary to be able to disassociate from what you're watching. Totally.

Which is why. I bet like highly empathetic people. Yes. Because what do I say? That's true. It makes me so mad every time you say what. Don't be scared. It's not real.

It's not real. And I'm like, that is so not true. This is real for somebody somewhere. Yeah. Like this, oh, this murder that's happening on my Netflix. Okay, it's not real right now to that actor. But this thing that they're play acting, a bunch of people have experienced all over the world in this moment. It is real.

It's all real. It's all I'm saying. Yeah. It is to somebody somewhere. The more empathetic you are, the less you like these things. Yep. And women like it less. And I think that is not coincidental to the fact that women are very often like being pursued and stalked

killed and all these movies. It's like, why do we like that? And by the way, can we do an episode at some time about like the date lines and the true crime everywhere? You know what? I'm going to, I, Abby, am saying I will head host. Oh. Well, you'll have to.

Look out. I won't be there. It is my head hosting job now to do. Because I love the murder mystery stuff. I am so into it. And it's because I am. I'm not as empathetic as you two are. I'm going to say, we would have different approaches to that, to that episode.

So you do it. Yeah. You do it for all those people that like that shit. Okay. I do think that part of it, though, there's like this excitement and joy and then there's this like anticipation and terror. And for me, I think the feeling is like relief, post-intensity relief. Yeah.

And for me, I don't know the difference between happiness and relief. Like, it's the same thing. I'm like every, oh, God, thank God, that bad thing didn't happen. Just over and over and over all day long. Yeah, I feel like we need to work on that, though, too. Because that's adrenaline, fight or flight, up and down, relief totally. Get that. And then there's this like kind of contentedness situation that is not that.

Right? But I get that completely. Relief is the happiest thing. Okay. I wish there was a crystal ball to tell the future sometimes. And I'm sure anyone who runs or wants to start a business would totally agree. Fortunately, there is a lot of tools out there that can help you if you find yourself in this position, including one of our sponsors, NetSuite. NetSuite offers real-time data and insight for so many business owners. And by that, I mean over 43,000 businesses. NetSuite

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NetSuite.com slash hard things. We have some pod squatters. Yay. Oh, good. They're Halloween, weenie. Halloween, weeny. Scary things. Halloween, weeny.

Scary, happy theme. Wonderful. Let's hear from Amanda. Hey, Blennon and Abby and sister. I was listening to your creativity, chemistry, and planning podcast. I just had to stop it and say, thank you. you because it's exactly what I needed to hear today. By the way, my name's Amanda too. And about just you needing to have fun and I need to have fun and claim it. And sometimes that

means either out loud, but probably more in my mind telling people to fuck off. For example, I love dressing up in costumes and Halloween, what greater time to dress up. Well, in past years, I have children, I dressed up and I dressed up with my kids. And I've had moms literally kind of make fun of me for dressing up. Like, who are you to dress up? This is about the kids. And so I was doubting if I should do it this year. And your podcast and just listening to sister talking about the flame and Abby saying,

like, do one thing every day just made me think, you know what? yeah, fuck off. I'm going to dress up. I'm going to dress up not because my kids want me to and not because anyone else wants me to or doesn't want me to, but because it's fun for me and I like it. So fuck off. Yes.

Anyway, thank you just for the support of your podcast and just like reminding all of us what is important and that it is important to have fun. And sometimes people, I think, are so afraid to have fun themselves that they judge other people who are having fun. That's right. That's Amanda. That's right.

That's right. And if anybody gives you the side eye, fuck off. Just tell them. But don't you think with anything where people are doing what they want to do, it unsettles the ecosystem because it's like, but you can't just go around doing whatever you do. And I'm mad that I see you doing what you want to do because I'm restraining myself from doing what I want to do.

in a totally different sphere or lane, you know? Yes. I love dressing up. I love dressing up for Halloween. And by the way, this doesn't just extend, I think, to the Halloween thing. Amanda was going to not dress up or was considering it because she got sort of made fun of for dressing up. And I'm sure it was like in a subtle way. But how many times do we kind of self-police not even in dressing up?

just like I want to put this on today. Or I want to wear this eyeliner. Or I want to wear no makeup. We're constantly doing that. But I feel that. I feel that so much. I don't, I did do the speaking event last week and I had to put on a suit. And I was like, why do I have to do this?

I don't, I feel like I have a costume on. Why can't I just go to this thing and just wear what I want to wear? You can. No, I don't feel like I can. You can. I think if I went and I was, no. you wear a suit jacket. I don't.

Not every time. Sometimes I do because I'm feeling a little bit more like dressing up. But you feel like you just do it when you want to. It's always only because I know for me and the person that when I go out into the world, I know that I'm giving somebody else permission to do the same. I think that people going to these, you know, conferences or whatever that I'm speaking at, when I get up there and I'm wearing, you know, casual, oftentimes the attires as business casual. And I just take the casual to the, to the nth degree.

You're like, well, like 50% right. Yeah, you see it as business or casual. Yeah. Yeah. What are they going to say? Like, you're dressed inappropriately? No. And so when I'm up there, I know that there's another person who might look like me or might

feel like they want to be more comfy. So you don't have to. And did you say, sister, that you love dressing up for Halloween? Did I just hear you say that? Mm-hmm. You do? Yeah. Oh, my God.

Are you going to dress up this year? Well, yes, but I haven't figured out what yet. So I have like two days. I think you would make a good witch. I have heard that more than what. I want to just say this one thing. Amanda, the person who called in, one of my friends long ago, she was a massage therapist on the national team.

Angie, she and her husband got married in Wonder Woman and Superman costumes. Wow. That's amazing. And she posts it, this picture, every year on her social. I remember looking at it for the first time being like, what did she do? She's going to totally. She doesn't. Every year she posts it.

Every year she posts it. And it's like, oh, those are people that are of joy. And they are doing what they want. Nobody said to them, you must wear a Superman and a Wonder Woman. It came from inside them. They are building by design and not default. Yes. Oh my God, you've just struck on something.

How it is weird as shit when you think about it. That for a celebratory day, that's so weird that everyone's wearing the exact same shit. Yep. It is weird. It is so weird. These weird little costumes that you wear on the most important day of your life. And you're like, this is what I'm supposed to do. I'm just going to stand here uncomfortable the whole fucking day because these pictures are going to matter.

And Angie, my friend, is proof that that is not true. I think we should go to the next caller. All right. Let's hear from Leslie. Hi. My name is Leslie. I am a therapist. I am about to sit for my LCW gym here in Virginia.

And I'm going to tell you that I did not. know how to say no to things, even though I tell my clients all the time to say no. And I had a mini breakdown this morning because I had signed up to do tricker fucking trunk trees. I don't know what it's called, but I signed up because I wanted to be that mom. And I had said, yes, I'll do this thing that I didn't want to do, but I felt like I should do it because I wanted to be that mom. And I said yes. And I'm not creative. And I was panicking about it. And I got the email giving me the instructions about how to do it. And I freaked out because I have this big exam coming and I don't have enough time to study anyway. And I was sitting in the bathroom

crying and I decided I can say no. Yes. I texted my wife who was in the other part of the house and I, and she said, no, you can do it. And I said, no, I don't have to do it because the podcast tells me I can say no. So I don't have a question. Well, actually, I've watched. the questions, but I'm not going to ask any of them. Thank you all. And, you know, like everyone else says, you are a light in the world. And I listen to you every week and you help me be a better therapist. And I appreciate that.

Thank you. Leslie. I love her so much. I love her. I love her. So what is she talking about the Halloween trunk or treat? Oh, my God. Trunk or treat.

It's where you go and there's a parking lot and then everybody opens up their trunks and then the kids go around and they take candy out of the trunk. Is this to like. But it's not. Just that. You have to decorate the shit out of it. You have to be. See, this is a question. I have so many questions. Like, like Leslie, I have many questions. Why are we always making things more? Exactly. Like, why? It used to be, you just looked around your house, put some shit on you. That's right. Went around the neighborhood. And now it's like, well, that's not good enough. That's not festive enough. We have to have the trunk or fucking treat. And we have to have to have to have. have a school Halloween and we have to have a home Halloween and we have to have parking lot Halloween. Here's the other thing I will say. First of all, she said she's not creative. She is a social worker in the making. That is definitively fucking creative. You know what else is creative?

Sitting in your freaking bathroom and texting your wife, I'm not doing it. That's creative. I love that shit. Yes. I'm not ready to say it face to face. So I will text it from the bathroom. Right. And I also, love this thing. Her wife says, you can do it. Okay, let's stop right there. Of course we can fucking do it. We can do anything. The question should not be, can you do it? Can you pull it together to get it done? Can you make it happen? Can you gather your resources and get the 47,000 things done? That is not the question. The question is, should you? Do you, do you want to do this. Yes. Yes. And she says, I don't want to do that. Of course I can do it. I don't want to do it. I love it. And I feel like if more people said no, that they didn't want to do it,

then we would all stop doing the extra more stupid things that nobody wants to do in the first place. Because there's a wider question. I don't want to do that. But also like what Abby just said, should we even be doing this in the first place? That's right. Like if all the people were like, actually, I just want to do the basics, then we'd free up all. this. Here's what I want to say. This is one thing that I have actually learned because how do we not get in our situation, the situation where we are constantly signing up for things that we don't want to do. I have learned that I have to say to myself when someone proposes, do you want to do this thing. Will you do this thing? Do I want to do it today or tomorrow? If this thing were tomorrow,

what I want to do it. It's a good barometer. Okay? Because what I'm always doing is saying yes to something four months from now because I constantly think I'm going to become a different version of myself by then who will want to do the type of thing that someone's asking me. But I've never become a different version of myself ever. If you don't want to do it today, you're not going to want to do it four months from now. Well, I agree with your philosophy on some level, but I also think that there are things that we do want to do that are hard, that even today, I'm like, I really don't want to do it. So I also think that we have to go. beyond just the day and think, will I have wanted to do this thing in five years?

Will it be that important? Okay. Here's what I think we think. We think, no, but I want to do the decorate. For people who do want to do the decorating, Godspeed. I have many friends that are like that, and I love them, and they are magic makers and yay. But if you are the type of person who doesn't want to do that thing, but you do it because

you think it's tied to joyful family connection and experience, what I have found is when I do those extra, extra things that the world tells you you have to do to be a good mom, when I don't want to, I end up being bitter and tired and annoyed. And that ruins the family connection that could have happened if I would have just shown up, not done all the extra things and had a little bit more relaxation and peace about it. Because the kids never asked for all that shit. It's preventing the connection because you're all, you're pissed and bitter. And so then when you get into the moment, you're just like exhausted and you're actually not in the connection.

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slash we can to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price all right let's hear from jesse hi this is jesse last year i got out of a pretty huge breakup with my daughter's father and was exploring dating again and i was seeing a gentleman who lived lived in a different state, and we would trade sexy photos back and forth.

And I had sent him a photo back in August, and then rolls around Halloween, and my daughter and I were at a pumpkin patch with some friends, and I made a photo album to send my dad and my mom who lives in North Carolina far away. Oh my God. And lo and behold, my eye photo played a trick on me and added one of these sexy nude photos at the very end of the album of my young daughter being cute at a pumpkin patch, to which my father instantly said, are you kidding me? The last photo?

That was his response to all of the beautiful photos of my daughter to his 30. 38-year-old daughter. So at 38, I sent my father a nude photo. I don't really know if you can top that. My response is just, L.O.L. Sorry. Okay. I hope you have a great day. Oh, we will now. We will have a great day now, Jesse. Oh, so Jesse gives a whole new meaning to trick or treat. She's like Her eye photo Played a trick on me Here's a treat pops

That's amazing First of all Jesse Hats off to you People do People are sending sexy photos at 38 I'm so proud I'm so proud of Jesse That is so awesome

I didn't know we still did that Although I did that when we were first together I sent you sexy photos Do you remember? Oh okay All right Treat treat Yeah. Also, how about her response?

L-O-L. I think-I love how we say L-O-L whenever it's the opposite of what we're doing, because sure is shit, neither Jesse or her dad were L-O-Ling in that moment. They might never L-O-L again. Like, I don't know if they can. I don't know if they can L-O-L ever again. I love Jesse. I don't know what we did before the L-O-L. like just that response to anything, Pod Squad, just anything, anyone that pisses you off, anything that goes wrong, just channel Jesse, L-O-L, sorry. And especially if it's in real life. Yeah.

If someone comes up to you and says something dumb ass, you just look at them and you say, with a completely straight face, L-O-L, right? And then that's it. Or we could use Melissa McCarthy's mom. Well, probably. Oh, we've said it. Probably. Abby and I've said that to each other 20 times this past week.

Or our first caller, Amanda, we could also use, it's fun for me. I like it. So fuck off. That's right. Okay. If LOL doesn't work, we move to probably. And if they're still sticking around, it's fun for me. I like it.

Fuck off. Probably. That's great. I like a three-step program. You're on yellow. You're about to go to fuck off. Okay. Pod Squad, we love you.

you so much. Was it easy? I thought it was kind of easy. I mean, I'm still sweating as usual, but I don't know. How did you people feel about Easy Fridays? I loved it. It's Friday. Everyone have fun.

Yeah. Have Friday fun and do what you want to do and enjoy yourself. And also, I get a kick out of you. Yeah, get a kick out of you. And one last thing, just a teeny thing. I love it when people do this on Halloween. If you feel like doing this, do it. If you don't, don't, if it feels like too much.

But you know how all the little ones who have, have like severe allergies can never get their, get their Halloween treats. So there's this thing you can do where you find a teal pumpkin. You put your teal pumpkin on the front porch. And then the little ones who have severe allergies know that at your house they can get a safe treat. I just think that's a safe treat. Well, anything that doesn't have peanuts in it. I mean, there's a whole that you can find a, you know, you can get non-pensil, you can do tattoos. Yeah. Yeah. We do a lot of like little games. little notebooks.

They're just like any kind of treat thing. Also, let's not do Halloween shaming for a lot of neurodiverse kids, a lot of kids who have sensory issues. You might see kids that look older than you would expect to have people trick or treating. You might see kids not in costumes. There's a lot of kids for whom sensory issues makes costumes really uncomfortable. And they deserve to have fun and enjoy the day, just like everyone else. So let's just go ahead and challenge ourselves to not be shaming or policing the people who come to our door and just try to, you know, take that job off our hands.

Yeah. And think of our only job is passing out treats. I have a confession to me. Oh, Lord. About Halloween. I have scarcity that no more trick-or-treaters will come to the door. and so whenever anybody shows up at my door, I give them like...

I'm like, take all of them. I know. Just take them all. And then I got to go run to the store real quick because we're out. Me too. We ran twice to the store in the middle of Halloween last year. I'm like, what is going on right now with you, Abby? Like, just give them one piece. All right, happy Halloween.

We love you all. We will see you back here next time. Have an easy Friday. Bye! Boo! We can do hard things. is produced in partnership with Cadence 13 Studios. Be sure to rate, review, and follow the show on Apple Podcasts, Odyssey, or wherever you get your podcasts. Especially be sure to rate and review the podcast

if you really liked it. If you didn't, don't worry about it. It's fine.