We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle - 228. Do You Have Any of These Beige Flags?

Episode Date: July 18, 2023

Today, Glennon, Abby, and Amanda delight in “Beige Flags” – the hilarious internet sensation that invites us all to share our people’s weirdest and most baffling traits. You’ll learn why Glennon changes her clothes 5 times a day, Abby sounds like she’s from yonder yore, and Amanda has a drawer full of washed out Ziploc bags. Plus, we read YOUR Beige Flags and debate: Is that actually a red flag or a green flag? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

To be loved, we need to be normal. Welcome to We Can Do Hard Things. I'm already giggling. We are going to discuss today with you our beloved product squad, the phenomenon, the trend of beige flags in relationships. Now, the idea of beige flags is something that has gained momentum on the TikTok. Probably nine months ago since we have now heard of it.

It is now a past tense trend. Right, right, it was a trend. The idea of a beige flag is your inner relationship, whether it's a friendship, I think we're mostly discussing romantic relationships today. And you're watching the other person. You're monitoring, you're observing, you're getting to know this other person. Sometimes there are red flags. Okay, so a red flag might be if like your partner is shady, McShayton, like taking phone calls in the other room, doing problematic things, red flags.

Green flags are things you're noticing your person is doing that are lovely and signal like this person might be great in a relationship, thoughtful things, green flags, go, go, go. And then there are beige flags. My idea of a beige flag and then I can see sister's face and when I think she's bursting at the seams to do, my guess would be that she's about to ruin beige flags for us by giving us the historical context of beige flags. Which would be Sissy's beige flag.

She knows everything. For the feelers out there, in the New York Times article, they described it as a beige flag. It's simply something that would cause someone to take a three second pause and then continue the relationship. It's just a weird thing, a unique thing. Sissy, where did this idea of Vigeflex come from?

Well, so I first heard it when we were talking to Logan Yuri in episode 219 where she was talking about it specifically in the context of online dating profiles. And apparently that is in 2022, this woman, Caitlin McFail, on TikTok, she invented this term, beige flags. The original definition was when people lean into specifically online dating profiles, these generic things that are like, I like penning puppies. I like working out. It's this kind of thing

that it doesn't offer any special information about the person. It's boring. It's boring, but I feel like boring. Plenty of people are authentically boring and I feel like that's great, oh, you like boring. Plenty of people are authentically boring, and I feel like that's great, own your boring. But for me, it kind of feels like it's like a melee. You know, like a melee apple.

You might not like apples, but either be an apple or don't be an apple, but don't be a melee soft apple. I kind of see bass flags as a little bit like, not, there's no meaning to it. Apple. I kind of see beige flags as a little bit like not There's no meaning to it. It's just like weird quirky things that people do that maybe you've done your whole life that make you them you But like there's no like additive or negative value to it, but it didn't start that way. It started specifically as Not quirky not interesting not idiosyncratic. It started as people trying to be as unobjectionable in their dating profiles as possible.

So if you listen episode 219, what Logan's saying is you actually aren't trying to be everything for everyone. You are trying to just be the thing for the person who's supposed to be with you. So pleasing everyone fails everyone in getting yourself because you're actually trying to weed people out by being your quirky self. So that's how Beigeflex started in 2022 was just this merely ass boring thing. And then people kind of, you know, took the flag and ran with it and made it into, it's not the thing that most attracts me about the person. It's not the thing that repels me from the person.

It's the thing that I just go, huh, you do that thing. And I can't really tell whether I should be compelled or repeled by that. It's just a real, is a real interesting thing. Well, I like this definition better because the first one is just kind of like, I don't know, boring. Okay, here we go.

Bage flags. We like to offer ourselves up first. So Abby and I did sit this morning and try to figure out beige flags for each other. And I will tell you, it's tricky. It is tricky to think of things about your partner or your friends that are not red or green, that are not good or bad, that you don't love or dislike because you came up with like a ton of things and I was like, no, those are red flags.

Okay. Yeah. Okay, but we did come up with like a ton of things and I was like, no, those are red flags. Yeah. Okay, but we did come up with a couple and then we have tons for that the that we have gotten from the TikTok. Yes. Okay. We haven't seen them. So we asked Audrey from our team to go through and find what the TikTok was saying about

the beige flags because we wanted to see them for the first time on this to see if they are funny or make us scared. I have one for Abby. When we were first together and I read her first book for some background to look for red flags. Okay, I noticed this weird thing and I thought this is so weird. Her editor must be really into like old fashioned language because it was almost like every once in a while you'd be reading a modern story about soccer and then there'd be like a Victorian word thrown in or something. And it just and I was, this editor is so weird.

Like, why didn't they, oh, no, no, no. That's just how Abby talks. It is as if she has been in her past life. She was in a Victorian, like, one of those, what? Is lace snacks? Or maybe you were in a suit, I don't know. But it'll be in the middle of a sentence. And she'll or maybe you were in a suit. I don't know.

But it'll be in the middle of a sentence and she'll be like, get in the car. We have to go with to soccer. But go in. It will just come out. And I'm like, did you just say go in? Like it's as if when the program was changed to her new life, they forgot. It was a glitch in the system and there's some old Victorian- They didn't update her settings.

Yeah, they didn't. Like we still have the Victorian fun. All day, I've told you and here to four, you have not listened to me. Exactly. I think it might be some sort of like need to feel smarter and I think that going into Victorian mode gives me this worldly sense.

I don't know, very bizarre. Also, we can say Victorian and I'm not even sure that's correct. Oh, we don't know. I don't know. Also, we can be saying Victorian, and I'm not even sure that's correct. Oh, we don't know. We don't know. We mean a time before now. Yonder Yor. She sounds like she's from Yonder Yor.

Okay. What I would say is that that does not feel like a red flag to me. It sure as hell doesn't feel like a green flag. But it makes me pause and go, huh, it's quirky. Yeah, it's quirky. It's cute. I have a John,

oh good, good. John's beige flag is that he deep cleans every item in hot water and soap before he puts it in the recycling bed. And I'm just, it is, I just, hmm, because I think to myself, I think self, this is ostensibly for the environment, but is 16 gallons of hot, potable water to rinse out a yogurt cup really unbalanced best for the environment. I'm going to back John up right now because he knows something that I just learned the

other day. When you put something in the recycling bin and it is not clean, they throw it in the trash. Again, I say to you, you're telling me the 16 gallons of hot, drinkable water that people need throughout the universe. I can't speak to that, but that might be a... The math on that is correct for the earth. I'd like to ask the earth. Would you rather have this recycled?

Would you rather not waste the water? See, you want to have a lot of water. Remember when John got all of his shirts dry cleaned and pressed and like starched and all the things in order to donate them? Yes, we know he's very serious about this. I like that about John. I have another beige flag for you. Okay. So you have a tendency to like change your clothes 10, 12 times a day sometimes. That is true. And her beige flag, I could actually care less if she changes her clothes that much. Her beige flag is when she comes in and she asks me, do I look comfortable?

And I say, I don't, I don't know if I can answer that. Like, are you comfortable? I say, I don't know if I can answer that. Like, are you comfortable? This is a woman who knows herself. This is an impotty woman. Do I look like I feel comfortable in my skin? That's exactly right. I'm sorry to ask, but do I appear in a polygyddo?

Oh my God. My whole life, I'm just trying to get comfortable. And by the way, I need the parts I want to understand, I'm never going anywhere. Like I change, and I think 12 might be like four times a day. Like four or five times, okay? For sure. That's four more times than I change a day. Well, and you're probably also going places, like you leave the house a lot more than I do.

All those changes are just, I don't know if I'm just trying to make it through the day. I'm just trying to get comfortable. I'll fit change away from comfortable with my skin. Get comfortable. If I put on this sweater, this is going to do it. It's always just a sweater, a sweatshirt, a different tank top, a different shorts. And if I get confirmation from my wife that I look comfortable, then I am. Yeah. That is where I heard this. Because I'm going to come to comfortable in this lifetime. Do I have facial eyes or my face?

We did think of one for you this morning. And that is your commitment to saving things as if you experienced the great depression yourself. Okay. It's amazing. I've never known somebody to save the amount that's at the end of your Parmesan cheese bottle. And I'm like, oh, she just put it back. She didn't want to throw it out.

No, no, no. She was going to use those 10 measly crumbs on something. Or when she used to drink wine and we would open up our refrigerator in the morning and entire wine glass would splash out because she had put a half-drink glass of wine into the into the into the door. The door part. Yeah. It's very movable. Or she'll go to like a sporting event. And like she'll have cool seats and they will have a buffet of food that she gets. So she takes food home. It's like Ross from friends. How he takes all this stuff in the hotel room.

Do you do that? Do you like? Oh my god. Abby in her upstairs closet. Next time we go to her house, you're going to go upstairs. You're going to go to the little closet between her room and body's room. It's not okay. All right.

If a whole entire army of smurfs came to her house, they would have an of shampoo and conditioner for a generation. Because she has so many small bottles. What are you doing now that? What are you waiting for? Well, the hotels now are doing the bigger bottles where you have to squeeze it into your hand. Oh, no. Did you bring it home in the block?

I forgot. I forgot. I was set. Remember when I was moving? And I thought you were going to have an intervention with me because you found my drawer of washed out Ziploc bags. Oh my god. You were actually so upset about it.

You were so upset. Washed out Ziploc bags to reuse them. I mean, I don't know. I think we may have crossed over to Red Flag. No, I mean, look, that's what she likes. Who fucking cares? It's not her to know. I care a little bit.

And it's also kind of saving the fucking environment. Like I actually appreciate that. I got to make up for all that water that may has been using. I want to be the kind of person in some ways that like wants to feel like I should wash out the ziplock bags. You know, you know, speaking of trends, you're like, oh, now we're doing high rise, jean. So now, well, don't worry because I still have my jeans from 23 years ago. I'll just put them back on.

That's not true. That is the truest thing that you've said. You will look so trendy, but your jeans are from eighth grade. This true. I did literally wear it out, but the other day, that was from 11th grade. No, she wore a dress somewhere a couple years ago and I saw the picture. I just so pretty. She said, it was my ninth grade homecoming dress. What? She's moved 20 times. How many storage units do you have? Oh, don't get us started on storage units.

Also, I don't have any storage unit, but you used to. You have an addict now. And before everyone who's gotten divorced is how to storage. Right. Right. Right. That's just part of it. It's a bit of a metaphor.

This is not the episode where we try to get to the root of this. So I'm just going to, I mean, we do want to ask you what's happening. Okay. With my hoarding, it's like, great. Can we, maybe we should do an episode about like, relationship to stuff and where it comes from. And I don't wanna say hoarding because hoarding is an actual psychological issue,

but there is something that's just below hoarding, which is what I do, which is just holding very tight items. Yeah. I feel like I have the opposite problem. Same. I'm like, I just like new things. And like, which is why it's a problem.

I get all your old things. Yeah. Yeah, she's usually when you have a story. I'm like enabling your issue, and you're also enabling mine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Hi, it's Elise Loonon, the New York Times' best-selling author of Honor Best Behavior, and the host of the podcast, Pulling the Thread. I'm pulling the thread. I'm joined in conversation by those who can help us bring meaning and understanding to a world that often feels chaotic and overwhelming. My hope is that these conversations spark moments of resonance and plant tiny seas of awareness so that we might all collectively learn and grow. Listen and follow Pulling the Thread, an Odyssey podcast on the Odyssey app,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, let's hear from these lovely tick-tockers about their beige flags. Here we go. This is from at emily.mt underscore. They say, my wife's beige flag is that she's absolutely petrified of bugs, but she also won't let me kill them. So whenever one gets in the house, I have to chase it around with a cup and a piece of paper to try to capture and release it.

But she also makes me take it at least 500 feet from the house. So I end up sprinting down the street with the caption bug while fighting the feeling that it escaped and is crawling all over me. I love Emily. Why that person is. I get that. I feel like these are green flags on both their parts. Green and green and green. They are living correctly to me. Yeah, I always feel so bad when I kill the spider. Well, you shouldn't do that. But I'm so scared. How do you overcome the scare, the fear of the piece of paper? Tell sister why there's so many paper towels on our front porch. Jesus. I go outside. Like some days like the water,

the sprinklers will go off. So that now this piece of paper is totally rooted into like a mushy pile of, ugh. Well, anytime I go out there, I know that Glenin has found some sort of insect gotten it and then just open the front door, and blown the paper towel outside. Because I will not kill it. I will not kill it.

I will not kill. But I also, it can't be response. I have to get it out of my hand as quickly as possible. Right. So you take a paper towel. I open it up. I capture it around your hand in the paper towel. And then you eject the paper towel from the house. Yeah. Which is which is which I guess is just littering again. Yeah. I'm saving a life. But kind of we know, but it's like this funny game that you and the spider have. I think the 500 feet away from the house is the right move because the

spider is like, Oh, I was here last week. And think the 500 feet away from the house is the right move because the spider is like, oh, I was here last week and then it crawls back into the house and then she does this whole charade like the next week. Yeah, I haven't gotten brave enough with what this person says. I haven't done the sprinting and screaming and going 500 feet.

I might need to tell that. That would be an amazing visual. It's just glen into oil. Ah! Ah! Running down the street with a freaking paper towel. Yeah, Emily, the next time this happens, can you please record running down the street? Because I think that's what we deserve to skate.

We really do. All right, let's see the next one. The next one is at Katie Capelli. And they say, my husband's beige flag is that he waits into the last possible second to use his windshield wiper when he starts to rain. He will let the entire windshield cover with droplets until it's almost fully covered

and then manually turn them over on. This can be just for the full fight. I think I know why. Because it's so satisfying. You know when it's like a bunch of water and then it goes, swish, all at once and a bunch goes off at the same time. It's so, it's satisfying. I don't know about that.

I like to be able to see through the window. Well, yeah. 100% of the time. Yeah. This is a good, is it sort of like our obsession to be with beating the GPS? Yeah.

Is it like how few wipes do I need to make it through this ride safely? Yeah, maybe. Oh, I don't know. It's gotta be scary for the passenger. It is. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Okay, so this is posted by Atkkaida Zombieslayer. My girlfriend's actual beige flag is that once every month, she'll get a banana for lunch. And after I've let my guard down, she'll frantically search for her phone, freak out, ask me to call it because she can't find it. And when I do, she'll pick up the banana. Instead of be like, yellow.

And I fall for it every time. I hate banana phone. Oh my God. Oh my god. Yellow. Yellow. That is such a green flag. It's gold to me. Every time you keep that one, that is a keeper. That is a keeper who understands the absurdity of life.

I don't like my guard down. And she does it once every month. Yellow? Yellow? It's just freaking out. You just queen her. You just queen her. My boyfriend's beige flag is he does this thing where he will randomly lay directly on top of me completely dead weight and yell, Boulder makes me push him off to quote, train me off for survival. He does not move for any reason. You only weigh out from under the

Oh, you only weigh out from under the boulder is to push them off myself. Oh my gosh, at Kayleigh.apple. We love this. Oh my gosh. She's really sweet. She's so adorable. Last month Abby laid down on the ground and her grandad our kitchen and wouldn't move

until I showed her that I could perform CPR on her. And move me around. And move her around. I perform CPR on her. And, and, and move me around, move her around. I was just dead weight. Because if I go down, I think I'm a goner. I do too. Yeah, I do. I just, I think I'm a goner. I like to have to prepare.

I just ordered an AED machine just in case I go down. So she has some sort of tool to help her make it revive me back to life. I was freaking out even during this simulation. And she's like, I don't know what to do. I was like crashed over and I'm like, you gotta move me. Like put me on my back. She's like, I can't, you're too heavy.

And I'm like, fuck, I am fucked. So now I'm gonna like, I'm gonna get one of those buttons that she or like one of those bracelets. Like the 99 year old. Yes. No, but I told her. I told her, I think I'd be able to do it if I knew this was real. Because I think I've heard people get superhuman adrenaline.

So I think I could do it if it's real. Okay, you might want to practice the boulder, I don't know. Okay, the beckomory. My partner's beige flag is that whenever I lose something and ask if he's seen it, he looks at me quizzically and hesitantly explains that the thing I'm looking for died for years ago. For example, have you seen my phone?

I don't know where I put it down. Phone. Extended positive worry look. Phone died for 40 years ago. Oh, I am. What do you think? Phone died, 40 years ago. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, TikTok. She constantly shows me videos that were viral on TikTok two months ago, like there's a new material. This is literally what our children say to us because we don't want to talk about what we're doing now.

Right now. Okay. Austin, inspired by your wife is this episode. She's going to is this episode. She's gonna love this episode. Another beige flag of Glennens is that she gets a phone number or somebody calls her or texts her, but she just doesn't, she doesn't save them. No, no. She doesn't ever.

I'm telling you, she has five people saving her. And every other person is just like, well, can't be known who's calling me. And so the amount of times she's like, hey, can you type this phone number into your phone so that when I type it in, it comes up. And she's like, oh, so that's who it is. And yet still does not go ahead and save that person's name to the phone number attached. Well, I learned my lesson right now is when I admit to you that for one year,

all right, Laura Perry, she's probably listening. I love you Laura, okay. I thought for one year that I was conversing back and forth with Stacy London, okay. Stacy London. Okay. Stacy London. Right? Stacy London emails me and says, how are you? I've been talking for so long and I was like,

what do you mean? You're protecting for your. No. I had Laura Perry saved as Stacy London. So I have been having a friendship with, so both of them, anyway, it's very confusing. That's how, when I learned my lesson, you can save with the wrong person,

so it's better just to keep it a surprise. Oh my gosh. I, KTH Wang. My boyfriend's bitch flag is that he'll casually tell me the randomest facts throughout the day that aren't even true. Hey, did you know that the reason ripples on waves exist is because of the sensitivity of water

to tectonic movement? Oh, really? Ah, that was a lie. Like, then he'll proceed to laugh to himself, frown that he's excited to pull me. Sorry, Daniela. Dad used to do that. Remember when you swore to us that Spam was called Spam?

Because they used it in the Spanish-American war. Yeah, I think half the things that I think are real lies. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, my boyfriend's beige flag is that he sets timers instead of alarms. It's midnight and he needs to wake up at six. He'll set a six-hour timer. Oh my god. That his brain just works differently. Like he needs to think of it not in terms of time, but in terms of hours, that makes sense to me. Well, just real quick, before you go to sleep, does everybody hear count how many hours before they're gonna wake up,

like how many they're gonna get? Yes, and then I lay there and well, that's because you're always gonna get like 35 hours. I lay there and I'm like, you don't go to sleep now, Doyle. If you don't, oh my God, now it's six and a half. Now it's fun. Now it's fun. And then I just berate myself.

I get so anxious that then the time keeps going down, then I get more anxious. And that's how I live happily and balanced. Red flag. Yeah. Jen Fricker says my boyfriend's beige flag is that he cannot wait to give a present. As soon as it's wrapped, he is telling you what it is. That's me. He is next week and he is the present now,

you're getting it now. That's me. Oh, that's me. I can't handle it either. I can't handle it. I don't know what that is about. This is at J. Dubbs, 22. My girlfriend's beige flag.

She drinks two, maybe three sips of her ice coffee that she can't start her day without. Small, medium, large, doesn't matter, two to three sips, and she'll carry it around for two hours, no additional sips. 85% full. Why'd we get her aventy? No idea. Only two, three sips. She likes the feel of it. It's to have that anger to the earth. Okay. It's helping her have gravity. Yes. Yep. At Collins app 4, this is a person after my own heart. My wife's beige flag is that she keeps tags on everything.

Just in case she wants to return it. Pillows who bought a year ago still has tags. patio furniture. Tags don't tell me. Yes. I feel like it's important to cover yourself. You never, you don't want to over commit. Me too. A lot of times people will be like,

oh my gosh, your tag's still on whatever. And then I have to pretend that it was an accident and I'll go, oh no. It's not an accident. No, I sometimes, I just feel like such a commitment. You know how I return a lot of things. Yeah, I know, but like after the second where, isn't it? Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Just after the first where? Yeah, you know, when you're like, I don't know, well, we have a whole whole. She's just wearing it, you know, it's her six thousand for the day. I'm gonna be getting a win, 25 more. Yeah, she has to make sure she looks comfortable. Okay.

I feel this way, I do the same thing if I have a shirt with a stain on it. And I put it on, but I like really like the shirt that I just wear it. And then the first time someone says, Oh, you got to stay in. I say, Oh, I just happened. I do that with watches. I have two watches. Neither of them have ever worked. Not one time. I've never set them. Never. I mean, they work. You just have never set them. Okay. Well, isn't that the important part of working? It's clock tells the time. Yeah, but they're automatic watches. So you actually have to set them every time you put them there.

She's saying they're not broken. Abusing them are broken. Yeah, saying functionally they are. Yeah. But I still wear them all the time. Yeah. And then when anyone asks me what time it is, I look at my watch and go, oh, I can't say I don't use my watch for that. Because I can't say, I don't use my watch for that. Fuck. Kuh. At Cassandra Palumbo. My partner's beige flag is that he doesn't put his phone on silent mode throughout the night

because he scared it means his morning alarm won't go off. No matter how many times I tell him or secretly do it, and it still goes off, he just won't risk it. And I have to be consistently woke up all night by all of his new conditions. Almost terrible. That's horrible. Well, risk and I have to be consistently woken up all night by all of his new questions. That's horrible. That's an example of maybe not a beige flag because I feel like what

beige flags are or they are not objectionable. Right. That's objectionable. Yeah. But then you also have sympathy because maybe he has some like major anxiety around things. But it doesn't mean that it's not objectionable. That's it.

Her ass is getting woken up all night long. Just test it out. It's very viable. Yeah, test it. It's very viable that that will work. Yeah, test it on your phone so that he can, on for one night, that it will still work. And then he'll turn them off.

But I feel like Cassandra, I mean, she's tried a lot of things. Yeah. I think it's a lack of trying logical explanations that Cassandra's still waking up all night every night. This is not about logic. Okay, my boyfriend's beige flag is that he thinks he's a ways influencer.

Why would you have to come whenever it's funny? He won't sit. There is no cop. He makes note. Traffic? No confirm it's there. Steck in dead stop traffic. He writes funny notes to everyone else.

He gets really excited when people like his notes. He got 114 likes at a note the other day. It was a big deal. He would rather use a paper map than Apple or Google Maps. This man is loyal. Oh, Anna Redmond, that's good. He's like public service. He's like public service.

Oh, Anna Redmond, he's like, you know, this is the future. To stock influencers be damned. The way his influencer is the one of the future. Get this guy a contract. Super helpful. I've always wondered like when it shows up like still here or whatever, I'm always like, who's touching that? Yeah. Well, I'll tell you who is Anna's boyfriend.

And apparently you get like preferential treatment or some kind of points. I just learned about this. And so if you click this still there, somehow, you know, it's taking you or the best fastest route. You're tracking. No, no, no, but you're somehow you're getting, you're getting the equity, the social equity. Okay, something's happening that's good for you. Oh my god. That's good stuff. I love it. All right, here we go. This is Atnat Row. My girlfriend's beige flags that she left so hard at her own jokes, like she just invented comedy. She is her Nat Row. My girlfriend's beige flags that she left so hard at her own jokes,

like she just invented comedy. She is her own entertainment. This girl will be tearing up by herself nonstop and will end with a, I'm so funny. Even just by just bringing up her beige flag, she will kick off. Oh, that's sweet. That's actually lovely. Yeah. Enjoying your own company, green flag. I am so funny. All right, so. You're gonna kick out of me. You're gonna really kick out of me. Okay, my partner's beige flag,

they refuse to charge their phone until it dies. Yes, I'm saying 5%. 5% just wait until it's dead. The plug it is. Doesn't matter if there's a cord right there, it's not being charged. That is good. That is a, that is a beige flag.

Yeah. Yeah. And that is by at IRL Fleabag. Okay. At Dumpling Kingdom. My cat, my cat, oh, we're doing cats now. My cat's beige flag is that she only stays calm in the car. If I meow, the national amputation. I'm so glad this is a cap because when my eyes went down to this one, I didn't see the cap part. So I thought this was someone's partner that needed to be me out the national anthem. So that's good. Okay, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, And he did it so easily. I would like to look at her up because maybe she does it with a little margouste. Yeah. Wait, it says that they have a video if you want to see it on the TikTok

of her meowing to the tune of the National Anthem, while their cat sleeps in their lap that has 6.5 million views. Oh my god. Oh god. All right, so at Smelly Belly, my husband's beige flag is that every time I'm watching my own show, he will join in and watch an episode, then proceed to call it our show, which means I

cannot watch it without him. I have zero shows that I can watch on my own. This Smelly Belly, Bella Munkata, this is upsetting to me. This feels like a red flag. Out of all of them, this is what you're picking. Yes, because you can't just sit down and claim that now it's our show. That has to be mutually agreed upon. Okay. All right, red flag, red flag.

I think it's sweet that he wants to watch all the shows with her. I don't know if he wants to, because he would have done it from the beginning. Could be a little controlling. Okay. All right. My boyfriend's beige flag is that he hates... He hates the number 11. Specifically, the fact that six plus five equals 11. He says that six and five are just two good of numbers to simply equal 11. And it

really bothers him that the number that these two super cool numbers total up to is just 11. And it's anti climactic and unsatisfying to him for some reason. I understand this because I think it's very unsatisfying that Chicago is a city inside of a state called Illinois. I feel like Illinois should be a city and Chicago should be a state. It's wrong. So I understand this and like this dude a lot. Not a lot of people give that much respect to things like this. And this is from Faith at Not Faith Core.

I can get behind that six and five or cool numbers. I wonder why 11 is so decidedly objectionable. Yeah. I don't know, but you know what to me? It feels so satisfying. Six plus five equals 11. That's a good 11's a good combination of six plus five. I don't think so.

I think five is a terrible number. What? Six is also like, my. Oh, I knew it wouldn't be possible. I'm like the opposite of this guy. I feel like 11 is wonderful. How could 11 be consumed by this five and six? Oh, okay.

All right. This is amazing. This one is at Clarify for me. My girlfriend's beige flag is she will make absolute message trying to feed me all of her food. I'm afraid to go in the car. All of her trust on a plastic fork trying to get it across my console while I'm driving.

She's tried feeding me meatloafs and red sauce with spoon across our fresh, clean, ready to stay in bedsheets ice cream. You know that cone's coming at me a million times an hour while we are walking. I would say 50% of the shared food is on the floor of my cone. Oh, she just has an experience and it's so good that she's desperate for her partner to experience it to regardless of how it happens. That's sweet. You know that going to come and have me a million miles an hour while we are watching. That's good. All right, so this is Mike Gotch chalk. My girlfriend's

beige flag is that she doesn't know her left and right, but also has a GPS in her brain. You could drop her in the Amazon with nothing and she'd find her way out in 30 minutes. But if you tell her to turn left, she has to take five and make an L shape with her hands to figure it out. Oh my gosh. I mean, I feel like I do that still. I'm all, okay, left.

Yeah, this is the left side. And idea I had for an invention is that I think they should make yoga pants that have an Ellen and R on the bottom because the yoga instructor always say, lift your left foot or your right foot, but it's so confusing because I don't know, I'm not like that's not automatic left and right or not automatic for me. I can tell that for most people they are, but it's not automatic. It takes me a minute. And also the teacher's looking at you,

it's a mirror effect. Yeah, they're opposite, yep. Yeah, that's confusing. And also it's always like, don't be thinking, be in your body, don't be in your brain, but then they give you a pop quiz every 30 seconds. I'm like, help your life. Right, R and you laugh, leg, and I'm like,

but you just told me specifically, I didn't have to be in my brain. Exactly. So I do think that that would be good if it was wants to make that. L and R, just an error. Remember when I thought that we were all gonna get really rich because I had an incredible

new idea for an invention of a mirror app. And then I realized that everyone had to care for on their phone. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So I was like, I to care for on their phone. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I was like, I cannot believe this doesn't exist. Oh, that's good. Okay, my fiance's beige flag is that he doesn't like to eat dinner in silence. He will Google couples questions or relationships quiz and ask me the most random yet intimate

questions in a room full of people as if we're in our own world. Oh, Naya hurt. That's why Naya is good. That's really sweet actually. Oh, God. Oh, God. Cody Ev. My girlfriend's beige flag is that she announces everything.

Her stomach just growled. I have to know. Can there is ready? She's telling me. She has to tell me like it's the most important thing in the world. She's cold. She's calling me to let me know. Her FaceTime calls are just a daily news report.

Oh, my God. I like the news report. It's so true. Some people like to tell you everything, John, another page like he has is I'll be like, um, well, how the conversation go. I'll be like, okay, well, I said, oh, and then they said, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then I said, and then, and then you just repeat the conversation for me. And I'm like, huh, that's it. So it's like basically your, your, you're just give me a transcript. So then, I'm really not a synopsis like a, like next time maybe like an executive summary

of the conversation, not like, you know, court reporter. Because then what has to happen is you really have to decide how that conversation based on the full of what you have to draw the conclusions that you were actually asking for. Okay, I just have to say this, this, I think, is going to help me. People are so absurd and delightful. Yes. I mean, it is so fun to think about the quirky, not bad, not good things, that neutral

weird area of, huh. It's a good place to be with people. Yeah. Also, it's a new opportunity. There's so many things that I've wasted so much time not being pissed about, like, six plus five equals 11. I never thought to have an opinion on that. And at once. I have a lot of them about cities and states,

even if you want to know. When I did give the first speech to my family about how it's obnoxious that Chicago is not a state, but Illinois, as if anyone's ever heard that, is this... You know? Everyone's heard of Chicago. Anyway, Abby was looking at me at the table like she's looking at me right now in a little bit of embarrassment and disdain. And one of my kids goes, exactly, I have always thought that.

All right. Before we close pod squatters, also feel free to call in your beige flags. Yeah, call in 747-253-07. I mean, if nothing else, just to make us laugh a lot, but we realized last week that we forgot to do pod squatters of the week for a year and a half. That's our fish. So we are back with a pod squatter of the week. After episode 217, where we were talking about our daily Delights. Carolyn called in with her daily delay. So if you

haven't checked out that amazing episode 217 do that for a whole hour of delight. This is Carolyn. I am a suburban mom and I'm always in the car with my two kids. They are six and four and they are so delighted by any car that is not white, black, gray. I mean if they see like a purple car or like a green car, I mean, I just, I get like a shout from the back. I mean, it's just, and it's like, the delight has like spilled over to me. So even when I'm like alone in the car, and I see a purple car, I'm like, you know, it's like, I just get so delighted now by all the bright colored cars on the road.

Maybe you'll stop some bright colored cars now while you're driving around. All right, love you. Keep up the good work. Bye. So sweet. I'd like to end with a bitch like that. I think we all have. Because you and I got in a little debate about this. I think it's precious that all of us, if we are in a car and we pass by cows.

Oh my gosh. War horses, we have to say cows, horses. Okay, I just say, move. Okay, well something, you have to acknowledge the existence of cows. And Abby told me that's not true. People go by cows all the time and never, so this was like a couple of years ago. So we're in the car. And Abby told me that's not true. People go by cows all the time and never,

so this was like a couple of years ago. So we're in the car, the time after this conversation debate, we're passing a herd of cows and we are in a game of silence chicken. Don't take doggie, don't take doggie. And I can feel the energy. She knows how wrong it is that no one's yelling cow. She knows it. Don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don't take don don don't take don't take don and he goes, GALS! Should you see the cows? You saw those cows.

God, what the hell is that? I was like, I don't say that. That is just not true for me. And it is true for me. Yeah. And now I'm like, cows. I'm like, I'm surprised by myself. It was like so subconscious before.

It's like the color purple thing. It's like, this has got off. If you see a herd of cows and you don't yell, moo or cow. Is it herd the color purple thing. It's like this is got off. If you see a herd of cows, and you don't yell moo or cow, is it herd of cows? Yeah. Gaggle? That's a herd. A school of cows. It's a herd. A murder of cows. It's a murder of crow's. That's weird. That's really weird. I feel like I'm all the animals really crow's. I mean, I get like a murder of hippos. No, crows are scary. Yeah, they look they'reows. I mean, I get like a murder of hippos. No, but crows are scary. Yeah, they look they're scary. They look like they're about to murder.

They really do. They're suspicious as shit. Okay. Okay. Um, we love you, Pod Squad. I don't know whether to say you are welcome for this episode or we are sorry. Either way, we will see you next time bye bye if this podcast means something to you it would mean so much to us if you'd be willing to take 30 seconds to do each or all of these three things first can you please follow or subscribe to We Can Do Hard Things?

Following the pod helps you, because you'll never miss an episode, and it helps us, because you'll never miss an episode. To do this, just go to the We Can Do Hard Things show page on Apple podcasts, Spotify, Odyssey, or wherever you listen to podcasts, and then just tap the plus sign in the upper right-hand corner

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is produced in partnership with Keynes 13 Studios. I give you Tish Melton and Brandy Carlisle. I chased desire, I made sure I got what's mine And I continue to believe that I'm the one for me and because I'm mine, I walk the line. Cause we're adventurous and heartbreaks on map, a final destination that, you stopped asking directions Some places they've never been And to be loved we need to be known We'll finally find our way back home

And through the joy and pain that our lives bring, we can do a heartache. I hit rock bottom, it felt like a brand new star I'm not the problem, sometimes things fall apart And I continue to believe the best people are free And it took some time, but I'm finally fine Cause we're adventurers and heartbreaks on map A final destination with that We stopped asking directions Some places they've never been Come to beloved we need to be known

We'll finally find our way back home And through the joy and pain that our lives bring We can do a hard game This world finished her rose and heart breaks on land We might get lost, but we're only in that Stopped asking directions Some places they've never been And to be loved we need to be known We'll finally find our way back home

And through the joy and pain that our lives bring We can do hard things Yeah, we can do hard things Yeah, we can do hard things you