We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle - 277. What Happened Last Weekend: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun & We DID!

Episode Date: February 1, 2024

Glennon, Abby and Amanda take you behind the scenes into the magic of their recent adventure at Brandi Carlile and Catherine Carlile’s GIRLS JUST WANNA Weekend in Mexico.  Discover:  Glennon’s triumphant – gyrating – return to the stage (and why it scared her nephew);  The breathtaking moment between Tish and the Pod Squad that brought the house down; The magic of centering: why every marginalized community needs its space; How to recreate the magic of LETTING GO and being out of control; Plus:  Amanda’s pantless debut!  To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to We Can Do Hard Things. We are all in a fight. Everyone's fighting. I'm fighting with Abby. Sister's fighting with us. Everyone's fighting. Nobody's fighting. It's a pretend fight, which are the best fights where you could just scream at everyone and it's pretend, so you can pretend. There's just like a little disgruntledness. Yeah. I think I'm a little tired because I woke up at, this is a true story.

I woke up at 5 a.m. You know why? Why? To paint a picture of a sunset. I was so excited. I cannot really, you woke yourself up with excitement. At 5 a.m. to paint. And I can't stop.

I am so excited about this. I've painted 13 paintings. I think I'm going to have an opening in my house. I'm going to have one of those shows. I'm serious. You're laughing and you think I'm joking. I'm not. No, I'm laughing because you're serious and you think I'm joking. I'm not. No, I'm laughing because you're serious. Yeah, I'm gonna put my pictures up

and I'm gonna make my kids walk around with me. I'm gonna wear something flowy. I'm gonna point at things. I'm gonna tell them. She's gonna have an opening that nobody comes to. Oh no, no one's gonna come. I'm not gonna invite them. But here's the thing. I want to acknowledge this because I am so happy for you, Glenan. Okay. You have found something that you enjoy doing as a hobby. You have figured out a hobby, something that feels fun, that literally wakes her up. Yes.

Out of excitement from asleep, and that she wakes up and goes and does every morning. And you got, I'm not sure a fire would wake me up at 5am. I know. Like, and painting is waking you up. I know. And that's amazing. I need you, Pod Squad, to understand if you could see,

you could see these paintings. Well, we should post them. I will, but they for sure look like a kindergartner made them. They're just, I'm just saying like. Kind of advanced precocious kindergartner. I feel like for sure an advanced kindergartner. If in my kindergarten class someone had made them. They're just, I'm just saying kind of advanced precocious. I feel like for sure an advanced kindergartner. If in my kindergarten class, someone had made them, I would have been like, these are good. Like if the person were five, but you've been learning a lot about what it

means to play. She doesn't use the brushes that you would expect a painter to use as much as she uses the paint tool that mixes the paints together. She loves using that, and cause she likes the way that it sounds. It goes, and she just,

and then you can mix colors, you get to make your own colors. And now here's what I want to say about this. This is important. I think that people who are trying to figure out what they want. You know how a lot of people like me have throughout their life been so conditioned to figure out like, what's the good thing to do? What's the right thing to do? What should I be doing? And then you lose touch with this thing on the inside that just has preferences. I don't know about these so-called preferences

people talk about, but if you're painting a picture, oh, especially if you're not that good at it, okay? So you're like not really drawing anything, okay? You're just throwing some colors on the thing and you're just whatever. You know what your inside self says? It says, I think there should be some red over there. And then you put the red on and you're like,

I like that or I don't like that so much. But I don't know who else could be talking. It's just me. Like there's no right or wrong. There's no good or bad. I make a picture. Nobody can say whether it's good or bad or right or wrong. They do when I write words.

They sure do. They have. They sure do. They sure do say it's right or wrong. But with colors, what the hell are people going to say? Do you find it's making it easier for you to make other decisions in your life because it's giving you an opportunity to practice the art of just deciding constantly. Yes, I do. Because like you're mixing colors, why did you choose those colors to mix?

And then you're putting the color somewhere on the canvas and you're like, why did I do that? I don't know. I mean, I will say one thing. I do appreciate how much you are supporting and being excited about each painting. I don't love the kids' non-reactions. I feel so excited when I make something and I'm like, look at this.

And I just don't think that they are sufficiently. I disagree. Excited or impressed? Emma is the most excited for you. That's true. And Tish, she's not impressed by much. No, she's not. She's really not impressed.

That don't impress Tish. It's just her nature. No. It's your nature. No. She's like Sh by much. No, she's not. She's really not impressed. It's just her nature. It's your nature. No. She's like Shania Twain. I know. I don't impress Tish much, yeah. Today she's like, what is that?

I said, it's a sky. It's clearly the sky. And she looked at me like, no, it's not. Anyway, that's why I have to have an opening and make them come and talk about each thing. But what I'm saying, I'm going to an art store later, I'm gonna pick out some new colors. If anyone wants to tell me where I could learn

more about this, because now I'm just like trying to find random YouTube videos and stuff. But I would just- I mean, if you learn, you might find out, oh, red doesn't go over there. Because the balance of colors should be this way. And then will that ruin it? No, because I'm looking at people's things

and the colors are fading into each other. There's stuff I'd like to learn how to do. And then techniques. Techniques, I believe it's called, as we in the art world call them techniques. It's the first present I've gotten you. Yeah. Maybe in our whole relationship that you have really loved.

Yeah. I have a little easel. Abby got me a little easel and it's set up on the upstairs table where we're supposed to be eating dinner and there's just paint everywhere and. Yeah, that's the drop cloths. Yeah. That's the thing that I think we just need to learn from. There's no drop cloths. There's just. the thing that I think we just need to learn from. There's no drop cloths. There's just...

Cloths that are dropped. There's like hand towels. That are hand towels. That she is strewn about. And I asked her yesterday, do you think we should get some drop cloths, you know, to put under the, and over the furniture? Because the tool in which you mix the thing, and she likes the way that it sounds. But guess what happens when she...

It's strewn about. It's strewn about. It's strewn about. It's strewn about. The paint is getting everywhere. and she likes the way that it sounds. But guess what happens when she, it's shoo shoo. It's shroon about. It's shroon. It's shroon about. The paint is getting everywhere and, you know. And it's like so, I'm just up there by myself, I'm singing, I am a lonely painter. I live in a box of paints.

I am Joni Mitchell. I am just painting. I'm gonna become an old lady painter and I just don't think that there could be anything better. It's a perfect segue. It is. We've been talking about the discovery of fun. And what are we talking about girls wanting?

The funnest fun that ever funned. The girls. Which we had this weekend. The girls had fun. Just let's hear from Molly, and then we'll tell you all POD Squad about the most amazing weekend we have. Buckle up folks.

What we in the art world call the most amazing weekend that we have. Yes, that's right. Hi Glen and Abby and sister. This is Molly from North Carolina. I am not in North Carolina at the moment though. I am at Brandy's Girls Just Want a Weekend and so are y'all. And the question I had after seeing you at the panel, Glennon, having you talk about how you've been addicted to depriving yourself of things and this festival is just the opposite of that.

And seeing yours and Abby's joy and singing closer to fine and you building right across that stage. Just how do we create more spaces like this where we can have so much fun and be together and just have it be, I don't know, the opposite of depriving ourselves of things. Thanks for sharing your joy and loved Tisha's performance too. Bye. Hmm. That's good. What does Molly speak of? Tell us. Tell the people.

Okay. So girls just want a weekend. How do we even begin to describe this? Okay. Brandy Carlisle and Katharine Carlisle. Mm-hmm. began this, oh my God, festival. It's a festival. It is. It's a festival. It is. It's a festival.

It is. They do a couple of different ones, but this one's called Girls Just One A Weekend, and it's always in Mexico. And basically it is. This was the fifth one. The fifth one. Yeah. The fifth one.

This is the first one we've got. And we went because Tish was invited to perform because Tish is working with Brandy. Tish is releasing an EP called When We're Older in March and she's been working with Brandy. Brandy's her mentor. It's just a really incredible situation. Yeah, March 1st download it please. Right, so.

Stream it. Brandy is like Tish's other mom now, Brandy and Kath by the way, Tish has a lot of freaking moms, okay? So this is like 5,000 queer women really, is what it is. Yeah, well, queer folks, I wouldn't say women. Right, queer, humans. Lots of trans and non-binary folks also. But not exclusively, it's for queer-minded people.

Right, that's good, queer-minded. Yeah, I like it. Cause there were some straight families there. There were. Yeah, there were. I mean, my husband was up in there, and he was loving it. There's a bunch of straight folks too,

but everyone is queer-minded, I would say. Right. So it's an entire weekend where everybody in this one place is there because of Brandi and Kath and the vibe of this place, which is just pure of Brandy and Kath and the vibe of this place which is just pure love and inclusion and acceptance and celebration and music and freedom and I don't know how to describe it. It feels like Brandy and Katharine they probably went to and participated in the

Lil' Affair in the 90s and I believe that this girl's just want to weekend is a new festival idea born out of the desire to create those same spaces that Sarah McLaughlin made for women in the late 90s with Little Affair. To me, it feels like this little bubble that you can opt into and it's just a bubble of acceptance. You come as you are and you can be whoever and express yourself in whatever way you feel necessary and you will be celebrated.

Honestly, I don't think I've ever been to an environment and experienced something like that. The origin of it is Brandy and Catherine's, I mean, just almost reckless generosity. Oh, that's funny. Yeah, it's just, they are like conductors of the experience. They're like conducting and bringing people in. Like there are 15 musicians that are on all the stages

at different times and they are all handpicked by Brandi and Kath and they are invited to do whatever they wanna do that is the most celebratory of their moment and they, everybody's on stage together and it feels like this thing that everything could go wrong at any second because it feels like chaos thing that everything can go wrong at any second, because it feels like chaos, but it is actually magical. Brandy just believes in every single person so much

that she gives them absolute honor and freedom, and then everybody just becomes their most magical self because of that. Yeah. So people like, Salise was there. And then everybody just becomes their most magical self because of that. So people like Salise was there. I mean, Salise, I had my first... Hi Salise, we talked and you are an avid listener of this podcast and we want to have you on. So we love you so much and you're the best.

I mean, I just watched Salise with my jaw on the ground. Like Salise should be the most famous musician in the world. Solis is doing something that is beyond what I've seen before. I don't know. Everyone just needs to go see Solis somewhere. After Solis leaves, I'm crying because I'm just keep crying. Real tears. Real tears I'm just keep crying. Real tears, not even fake crying.

Then Janelle Monae comes on the stage. Now, I don't know, is Janelle Monae a human being? I'm not sure, but I don't think so. Yeah, it feels like they're from a different planet. They're so special. Just this, I don't know, I don't think we could even just call it a different planet. They're so special. Just this, I don't know. I don't think we could even just call it a musical experience.

It was theatrics, it was fashion, it was love, it was queerness, it was feminism, it was how... Janelle Monáe kept my wife glenning up until two o'clock in the morning. Y'all. That's never been done before. No. Without drugs. Like, okay, so I was checking in with glenin' at nine

and at 10 and Janelle goes on at 10 o'clock. And I was like, honey, we have a shuttle to go back to the room if you wanna get on 10, 15. She said, yeah, I just wanna see a little bit of Janelle. And I go to see her. And I am spent, we've been outside all day. My body needs to go, I'm shutting down. So I'm like, honey, like, you know, the shuttle's here.

She said, I'm going to stay. Glennon and I are in bed every single night at eight or eight 30 at the latest. And our, we are, our eyes are closed and we were sleeping at nine, 9.30 at the latest. Tignicharo texted us when it was 4.30 in her first, it just said, I'm sorry to wake you guys up, but I have a question. Go ahead.

Yeah. And so she just said, no, I'm going to stay and our kids wanted to stay because they're huge, you know, Manoia fans. So I'm like, are you guys going to be able to get home? Like, I don't know how you're going to get home. I'm going to sleep. Good luck. And they stayed until 1130 or 12 o'clock, and then you couldn't find your rides home until one. Oh no, I was so lost. I was so lost. It was awful. Like the afterwards was awful, but it was a worth it because Janelle Monae is doing something that no one's doing.

Like Janelle Monae is like something that no one's doing. Like Janelle Monnet is like, you know, Prince or like Jimi Hendrix or like just doing something totally brand new. And it is just one of the most powerful things and most beautiful things I've ever seen. And the Celeste Janelle 1-2 punch just had me out, laid out. I'll tell you what, Katie Tenshtall, her energy is so outrageous. It's how I thought in high school

that if I ever met Matt Damon, he would wanna marry me. I was like, Katie and I would be such good friends. Well, I believe that. I 100% believe that. You have similar energy. She was ridiculous and so silly, and she was giggling, and she was brilliant. And I was like, I love her.

Love her. Everyone was perfect. And it just the joy infusion everywhere for everyone there and all of the people, everyone that you talk to, was like, this is my favorite all of the people, everyone that you talked to was like, this is my favorite weekend of the year. What is that? It's like the performers are so amazing,

but something was happening for every person there that was unique to that weekend. If you can get to that show, get to it. But what are the elements of that place that people can like Molly saying, how do we create more of that in our lives? Like what were the elements that you can like reconstruct to make happen in your life? Okay, we flew in on Thursday and Tish performed on Friday and I saw a friend who's a trans man and we were having this conversation about the environment

and how amazing it is to feel like you're not gonna get any weird looks or weird comments or you're not considering, if I hold my wife's hand here, it won't be seen, it's not like a revolution. You are now in a majority. And so like being in an environment where you feel like you are a part of this majority feels like it's altering.

For me, it's like, oh, this is hope for our future. Like kind of creating more of these spaces as we go on in our humanity, but like specifically walking into a bathroom and having 10 out of 20 people online be butch lesbians and that there's no, I'm like yelling right now because it's so important to me to literally walk into a bathroom and to not feel stress to be in a majority. So I felt like I was gonna have people on my side if there were any weird looks, which of course there weren't.

And then even in the airport, that when we were leaving. The airport was packed. The airport was like packed with all of these folks that were at the festival. And I don't know, it's just like safety is a word, but hopeful. Is it the absence of the alternate gaze? I don't know, it's just like, safety is a word but hopeful.

Is it the absence of the alternate gaze? Is it like, when you're in a place like that, there is no patriarchal gaze to navigate. It's like the reality is just this. You're not, oh, are we gonna have to deal with that? We're being too much and we're going to get some looks because we're being too much or we're dressed crazy and people are going to have feelings about that. That you're always trying to navigate yourself versus the gaze coming at you. And there isn't.

The gaze didn't exist. There's something about that. Just got the gaze gaze in that the gaze's something about that. You just got the gaze, gaze in that. The gaze are gonna gaze. Yeah. It's the magic of centering. Yeah. That's all it is.

The magic of being the center, being the gaze. You're suddenly having, I think it's not having the double consciousness. It's like, you can actually be present, fully present. Because you are not split, which is why every marginalized group has to have space. Until the world is different, has to have space where they are centered,

where they are only worried about their own gaze because it's the only time where you don't have to be split. In terms of am I safe? What are they thinking? What do I look like? And that is such a gift to offer people. I found this thing happening when I would see like a straight family, like a straight couple with some kids.

I'd walk up to them and I'm like, wow. Are you lost? This is amazing. And they're like, we love Brandy so much. And oftentimes it was the wife's, you know, You're here. Are you lost? This is amazing. And they're like, we love Brandi so much. And oftentimes it was the wife's, you know, Brandi is her favorite artist and the husband comes and the husband is like decked out in all of his gear. And the kids are like, I don't know.

It just feels like a glimpse into a possible future. Yeah. A dream. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Hi Pod Squad. I want to tell you about another great podcast from Odyssey. Fly on the wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade. Each week, David and Dana, two legendary Saturday Night Live cast members, chat with other SNL alums about their memories of the show and careers in the entertainment

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and everywhere you get your podcasts. ["Fly On the Wall"] So let's take them through, y'all, tish's performing, okay? Or at a pool, it's a huge pool and there's a stage in front of the pool. And there are, what do you think? A couple thousand people just smushed into the pool together

waiting for Tish to perform. You can't see water. It's just thousands of people in the pool, in inner tubes, looking at the stage. Right. That in itself was wild. Well, and to be clear, there's two different stages.

There's like a main stage and then also a pool stage. So Tish was playing on the pool stage and later at night, there's a main stage stuff that Tish also performed on. So. Yeah. So Tish plays her set. Okay, she plays Michelle, she plays the chase, she plays damage, sober, yeah, which nobody's heard sober yet, but damage came out that day

that we were there. And then Tish and Brandi's up there with her singing because they've produced these songs together and they're just unbelievable when When they sing together, it's just deadly. Listen to the tracks, especially come March 1st when Tish's EP drops. Listen to the background vocals. It's Brandy Carlyle, y'all. It's crazy. So Tish goes, all right, I want to do something.

She's on stage. She's like, I want to sing a song that I never sing. But I have a feeling that it's a song that all y'all are going to want to hear. And she looks out and when she's looking at what? 2040 to 50 year old lesbian. So she knows that this is my mom's demo. Okay. I am in my mom's place now. And she says, I don't play this song often because I wrote it when I was much younger.

When she was in eighth grade, she said. Yeah. And now I feel so different as a musician and I don't feel like it reflects who I am now. So I don't play it, but I want to play it for you all today. So my sister, Amanda, Abby and I are sitting by the pool. Craig is there, you guys, our whole family was there. Emma Chase was there, it was his 21st birthday that day. Bobby and Alice, John, everybody was there. And so she starts singing. I walk through fire, I came out the other side.

She starts singing the Winky Hard Things song. Okay. Brandi's singing, Tish is singing, y'all. 2,000 people in the pool start singing We Can Do Hard Things, and they know every word. Yeah, that was so magic. Sister and I and Abby are just holding on to each other, watching Tish and Brandi sing to these people who are all our people, pod squad people,

singing back to us, singing this, we can do hard things song that our daughter has written from our work. Like it just, talk about a slice of heaven for us on earth. It was, It was incredible. We can do hard things, all of them singing. Oh my God. It was so beautiful.

That was as close to magic as you can get right there. Yeah, and to be clear, Tish wrote that song with the voice of you. Yeah. So it wasn't something that she, the lyrics, of course, I'm sure she feels them on some level, but she doesn't feel like a real ownership over that song. So she feels a little bit like a fraud when she plays it

because it's not like really her stuff. It's Glennon's stuff. It's like a cover of Glennon's. Exactly. She feels like it's a cover. Yeah. And so it was so touching to me that she did this. It felt like a gift that she was giving Glennon and me and you, sister.

And honestly, it was so fun because not many people yet know all the lyrics to all of Tisha's songs that she's released. She's obviously still a very new musician. And so for her to choose to do this was also a gift to the audience, because they could be in participation and for them to be singing out loud. Like it was just, I know that this feels like so not a big deal, maybe to a listener, but it was a big deal to our family. Yeah.

Yeah, it was. And then so after that, we went to this panel. If you wanna know what this festival is like and the caliber of people who go to this festival, in the middle of the resort day where people are just doing music and having beautiful times with their families, we did a racial justice panel

with, we're talking about black women and white women. It was Alison Russell the incredible Angel on earth Allison Russell and Salise was on the panel and Annie Lennox and me so it was just like really just four musical legends up there and Four and Probably three thousand people came to it. Yeah, there was a lot of people there. Stopped their day to come to a racial justice panel and sat in the Svalbard Twinkeat and we had a freaking beautiful conversation.

So that's the panel to which Molly was referring to in the beginning. And it was incredible. And you know, just for people who might not be huge into the music scene, I wouldn't consider myself somebody who's huge into the music scene, I wouldn't consider myself somebody who's huge into the music scene. It's so fun to like learn about musicians. And also they have tons of other activities that are happening throughout the day.

They have meditation, they have yoga, they have like learning how to song write, learning soccer, basketball. There's all these events that they schedule into these four days. They have 12 step meetings, they have brandy-yoki, karaoke, they have lip-sync contests. Yeah.

There's just a lot of things happening that you can participate in or obviously opt out. But what you need to know, Pod Squatters, is that the weekend culminates in what is called Ladies of the 80s. Okay. And so what this is is the last night of the festival. And each performer throughout the weekend chooses an 80s song to perform with Brandi's

band, with the twins, with the whole band, which is just Matt Chamberlain is the, he's like the best drummer in the world, and he's back there and Phil and Tim are play all the sister strings, who are just these incredible musicians who, by the way, I didn't even know they have like the best voices in the world also. They performed. Everybody picks a song.

Okay, so Tish performed Heaven is a place on earth, obviously, Linda Carlaw. Ooh baby, do you know what that's worth? Except it sounded good. And so, and we are all- Not like that just did, it sounded good. Right, so a few days before we're on the phone, Brandy talking about something else,

and Brandy just says, also will you and Abby perform Closer to Fine with me and Catherine on stage? And I'm like, obviously that's a hell yes. I actually forgot to tell Abby about it, okay? Which was my bad. Yeah. But she says to me the day of, oh, you know that we're doing closer to fine tonight.

And I was like, what are you talking about? She's like, it's later, it's the 80s, we're all dressed up. And I was like, well, I don't have an outfit. I brought five tutus. I don't have an outfit. She's like, I'm so sorry. I forgot to tell you we're doing this. And I was like, okay. So I had to like make shift a silly, funny thing in my outfit. Which was amazing because Abby had on just pants and a T-shirt, and then she had a sign on herself that she safety pinned on herself that said,

I'm a lesbian, I've been dressing like this since the 80s. Which was a huge hit. It was a huge hit. Yes. However. Had a great time because I peaked in the 80s, so I knew exactly what to do. I had a big black 2- did not peak in the 80s.

Two, two, I had my rainbow leg warmers. I had four inch heels with spikes on them. I had a huge Brett Michaels like wig. You were crushing it. Thank you, but not as much as who? Sister did a better job. Sister won the day. Okay. She Pat Benatar'd herself. Oh my God. Sister! Sister won the day. Okay.

She pat Benatar herself. Oh my God. More than Pat Benatar could. Pod Squad, don't worry. We will put pictures of this for you to see. She had a black spiky wig on. She had a leotard with her sparkly hose underneath. I say to her, I see this outfit laid up on the bed.

I look at the outfit. I say to her, I have one question, and I'm really hoping for a specific answer. My question is this, where are your pants? And she says, no pants. And I say that is the answer I was hoping for. So, no pants. I will also say that I found out about the 80s costume the day before we were leaving that we're supposed to have costumes.

But don't worry, because in the 37 bins that I have in my attic, I was able to find all of those items that I was wearing during that time. Vindicated. So I know that it's a bit much to have 87 bins in your attic, but low and behold, sometimes it pays off. That's right, that's right. So here's what happened, y'all. Okay, the performances are so amazing.

Annie Lennox kicks it off with Sweet Dreams. Brandy is up there just decked out bright red hair, your rhythmic outfit. Everybody is decked out. All the songs just start coming, they're all incredible. We get a text, it's time for you to get up to stage. Tish, Abby and I are all in the holding area. It's about to be our time, okay?

Abby and I are about to go on stage because Tish is after us. To sing closer to fine, the indigo girls. And there's like 5,000 people. And by the way, everybody, Padsquad, this is my first time back on any stage for over a year. I haven't set my little feet on a stage because I promised myself I would not do that during recovery.

I would only focus on what I'm looking at, not being looked at. Okay. So I was feeling a little bit nervous. I remember saying, what am I supposed to do? What, how am I supposed to do with my hands? I figured out right beforehand that we were not lip syncing, that Brandy actually expected us to sing words out loud. Well, that was your choice.

I lip sync the whole thing. Not singing into a microphone. I knew that I was like, Oh yeah, no, I'm just gonna hype, I'm gonna hype man it up. That's what, and that's what I did. So the next thing we know, Kath is standing by us, it's our turn to go out. We go out on stage.

The crowd is freaking amazing. Closer to find starts. And really, I don't know what to say other than just all of my dreams came true. Your body knew. The rock star in you came alive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything but your voice, no offense.

Right, that was rough. But like you are in body and in spirit, I think that you are a rock star. It's kind of cruel to give me that dream, but then to not give me the tools which I need to become one. So like at first Glenn and I were kind of dancing around, doing this fun things.

I did a little lift with her. And then eventually Catherine and Brandi realized that we in fact weren't really singing in the microphones. And so Brandi- They were like, shit, we have to sing like a lot. Yes. And so Brandi, of course, she was carrying the song, which... Ah, she should. Yeah, exactly. Right.

She kind of like tells Glennon, sing in your microphone. She goes, Glennon. And then she stops singing. Yeah. So it's just me. So then I sing words. And then I have... And it like back. it's scared me. It's scared me. And then she goes, oh my God, I can hear myself.

That's what she said to the whole crowd. Oh my God, I can hear myself. Like it was, she was like the first time she's ever used a microphone. Well, like God was like, at first there was some feedback because it was like, yeah, and then God was like trying to tell her, no, no. Stop singing. Just keep dancing. That was enough.

That was enough. Yeah. It was so fun. It was so fun. And so wonderful. Did you think that it was good when you were watching it? I, she's like, I can't say it was good. A gape.

A gape. A gape. I was standing there with Emma and Bobby and Alice just watching you all like, oh, oh my God. You were just so full of joy and just abandoned. Just abandoned. Yeah, abandoned. Yes.

Then. But not as much as the following song. OK. Well, the following song was Tish. Which that one really took it right to the next level. Tish went on stage. And we sat offstage watching Tish for the next song. Yes, she was amazing.

She sang Heaven on Earth with Brandi. And they were so beautiful. And Tish looked like a little rainbow bright on stage, although she didn't know what a rainbow bright was. So Brandi had to explain to her what a rainbow bright was. And then they sang together and it was tear inducing and gorgeousness. It was so amazing.

And then Tish comes off stage and I'm like, all right, I'll take you down. So then it's time for us to leave stage, you guys. And this suddenly feels unacceptable to me. You're like, I have just started to live my lifelong dream. So this is why it became doubly unacceptable to me, which I feel like a lot of my friends will understand. Sister Strings walks out on stage

and then the first few notes of Salt and Peppa BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM B say, oh, hell no, I am not leaving. I am going back. I cannot. My body can't leave. My body cannot leave the stage. Next thing I know, Gina Gershon,

I'm standing with Gina Gershon. She goes, she's Tina Turner doubt. Okay, she's got this wig on. She's just performed. She's 80s doubt. She is also not ready to leave the stage. I could see it in her eyes. She wants to be out there.

She goes, let's just go. Let's just go. I said, out there. She wants to be out there. She goes, let's just go. Let's just go. I said, out there. We're going to go out there. And I say, yes, let's do it. Let's just do it. The next thing I know, Pod Squad, I don't know what to say to you about what happened next.

Yeah, yeah. Like, you guys, what you'll understand is Sister and Abby look both a little sad right now because what I did on stage, I think that there's a difference between the way I experienced it and the way other people experienced it. I danced with my whole soul. And what I want you to know is that from my mind, when I was on stage, I would have bet every penny that everyone in the audience was having

a communal revelation thinking, oh my God, Glennon is the best dancer we've ever seen. Yeah, that's how you thought. It looked like you thought that out there. It looked like you thought that out there. It looked like you thought that. It did. It did look like you thought that. I was unapologetic.

OK, hold on. I was just whole ivory working. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Can you define twerking? The problem is you don't even know what you were doing. It was not. You were gyrating. It was repeated and enthusiastic, pelvic thrust.

Non-stop. Like a sledgehammer. Across the stage. Across the stage. Brandy told you and Gina to stay over here Fledge hammer. Across the stage. Across the stage. Brandy told you and Gina to stay over here by the backup singers and dance over here. We couldn't. We thought maybe that was a mistake.

We thought maybe Brandy just didn't know what we had in store. What you could accomplish up there. Why would anyone want us to stay on the wings? All right. So we did not listen to that. She was laughing. She was laughing during the song. Who was? Brandy was. Brandy. She was.

I seriously should probably apologize. Anyway. So I'm walking tished out to the rest of the family out in the crowd. Right. While you're starting the escapade of not twerking. Right. The gyrating. The gyrating. The confident gyrating. Yeah, but then when you get off, I actually, I realize she's going to stay out there. If I don't go better. You even got me. So I had to go get you.

I got dragged off stage. I was like, honey, we just got to go with our family. And you were like, oh man, but, but, but, but here we go. It looked like somebody doused her with a whole gallon of water. She had so much sweat on her body and her clothes. Those palpages don't thrust themselves, Abby. Don't.

Bobby, my little nephew, who I love with my whole heart. Ammo said that Bobby came up to her after push it. Concerned. With a very concerned look on his face. He's 11. Do you think that Dee Dee got a little bit out of control up there? I'm Dee Dee.

I'm Ann Dee Dee. And he was really concerned that I had taken it too far, that I had embarrassed the family beyond what we were gonna recover from. Well, he's never seen you out of control. Right. He's never seen you, honestly, that was as close as surprised

about you that I've ever been watching you do that. Like I was like, I am surprised. And I've never been surprised about you that I've ever been watching you do that. Like I was like, I am surprised. And I've never been surprised by you. So I have it. He was, he was surprised. I mean, he might have been a little, a little traumatized if we're going to use the correct terminology. I think he was a little traumatized.

And then Amigo's mom, mama, mama afterwards. Do you think that they're going gonna worry about your sobriety? That's what my daughter said to me. Because nobody in their sober state, no, this is how, like, I can imagine a child looking at this. Nobody would think that she was sober. Nobody, nobody here thinks that my mom could be sober

and she lives a sober life and all these people think she's fallen off the wagon, but no folks, we are here to assure you. Glennon was sober and she finally, and I think that this is a huge success, finally let go. And surrendered to an out of of controlness of embodiment. Like you were completely in your body. That's exactly right.

And nobody said, what I realized is that nobody promised it's going to be pretty when you reach full embodiment. Okay. Apparently it doesn't have to be pretty. But it doesn't matter. I know you guys. It doesn't matter. I mean, coming full circle,

like what is it about that space, Brandy and Kat? Yeah. It's like, I remember Brandy's face going, okay, Glennon, this is what she does with everybody. She believes in somebody and then she brings them into a big situation and then she says, go, do your thing thing and you feel so fucking loved and so honored and so safe and you believe in yourself because Brandy believes in you.

I mean she probably doesn't anymore but she did once but she always does once. Bye. ["I'm Not a Man"] I think that that's one of the things that I find so fascinating about Brandy and Catherine. They have the utmost faith that whatever is supposed to happen will happen. Yes. And that is why they feel like they can get 100 people on a stage and a night. And no matter how it looks or turns out, it is exactly what should be happening. And that kind of faith is in the people.

It's not the product. It's like believing in the people. And I think that that's what makes them so special is, of course, so many of the people there, they're extraordinary musicians and what I mean, obviously we aren't, but it's not about the music. Right. Specifically, it's about the creation of something unique and different and everybody's sets and everybody's moments, it's like writing in the sand.

I mean, Brandi talked about that. This thing is only gonna happen this one time. And so be here and be present and open yourself up to this one experience that will never be created again. Cause even next year's festival is gonna be different in some way, there'll be different people there. And there's a letting go and a surrendering to it all that I just find stunning.

I feel like I'm learning a lot from Katherine and Brandi about that. Yeah, it's a complete loss of self-consciousness, which is like for me, the rarest thing on the planet. To be so in a moment that you lose awareness of the way you're being viewed and received. That's what happened to you on stage is that you were like, I'm just doing what feels and what I want like with zero regard for whatever I'm trying to project. And that lack of self-consciousness is the same thing we talked about in the beginning of like

when you don't have another gaze that you are calibrating coming towards you and you're only worried about your gaze out. Yeah. Like how you feel and what you want, it's a completely different experience than if you are weighing the math of what I want within the formula of what the people looking at me want. The outcome is always different. looking at me want. The outcome is always different. And I think that it, for me personally, with my journey lately, it's a beautiful, I have to figure this out. I have to think about it more, but I think I just thought stage was a place I can't be. That is too much, look at me, that is too

much thinking about what other people are thinking. It's just, I thought that's the literal definition of it. Why would I wanna be on a stage when I'm working on embodiment? Why was that the place that I felt the most embodied in the last year? I wanna keep thinking about it because- Your perspective has shifted, honey. Yeah, but it's not just any stage.

It's a stage in that community of comfort with the faith of the person who invited you with no pretext, with no direction, with no agenda, who said, just be you and do what you want. You were in costume, so you were already out of character. You were able to be whatever the hell you wanted to be. You had gorgeous music. That means a lot to you. You were with your wife. It's like a perfect storm of those elements

to be as free as you can be. And an amazing environment to like learn that A, that is possible on stage. And B, how can we try and recreate the feeling that you had, the acceptance that you had to have with yourself to be able to go be completely yourself. Yeah. I mean, we talk all the time

about how do we create families, friendships, environments where everyone feels held and free because we so often have to do one or the other, right? We can have community, we can be held, but there's certain rules that we have to follow, certain ways we have to be. We are not free to like release our individual selves within that community.

Because our belonging is tied to towing a line. Or we can have individuality. We can be weirdos, we can be misfits, we can be whatever, but that usually means we sacrifice the community, the belonging. And so Brandy and Kath have created this place where everybody has community and feels so held. And it's almost a prerequisite of it to be weird, to bring whatever weird means to you,

to be fully your individual self too. I mean, right before we went on stage, I said to you, I said to Abby, how do I crowd surf? I want to crowd surf. And Abby was like, here's the thing, no, no. Well, no, I mean, if you guys knew how much distance from the stage to the people, there was like a big gap, like a 20 foot gap between the stage

and where people could catch her. I'm like, that's a no go. Like you, you wouldn't ever make, I wouldn't make it. But the point is I wanted to crowd surf cause I was like, I actually want to be held by these people. I trust these people to pass my little self around. Like it is magic to feel complete. I mean, these people,

we put our 17 year old daughter in front of these people and they're like holding her. I don't know, I think that what I truly believe based on all the people I've seen doing work out in the world that what Brandi Carlisle and Catherine, like the way they live their lives is the most revolutionary way of life and community and celebration and inclusivity that I've ever seen.

Yeah, it feels like they're doing it in a way. I feel super odd and inspired by just knowing them and talking to them and then getting to experience the festival in real life. Felt like that was like, I understood them more because you could see not only that it has taken five years to develop to what it was this year, but you can see the tender love and care

and the painstaking details that they have kind of curated. The work, the work, it looks so wild and wonderful and it is, but the amount of discipline and work that they put into making it that way, that thing between like making it happen and then letting it happen, like what they do, how they live their life to, you know what they have is they have faith.

They have faith in people, they have faith in music, they have faith in the moment, and whatever that is is the opposite of control. Whatever happens there feels like the opposite of what I'm trying to get rid of in my life. It feels like trusting, feels like trust. Yeah. And there's a lot of structure and control

that goes into creating a container into which everyone can let go of control. And that container is the thing that I think folks can replicate, whether it's at this festival or something else. What I heard from so many people talking to them is like, this is the weekend that gets me through the year. This is the place that we all come and we recharge

and we go back. And it's like folks need a container of time where they know I am saving that for me. That is my time with my friends. That is my time to show up for myself, to do the thing I need to do. And if we wait for a container to be passed to us, it never will be. But if you mark it and you say, every year at this time or every six months, I don't even know what I'm gonna fill this container with, but I'm marking it and holding it

because I know that I need to fill it up with something, then that's where the beauty comes from. But I think that's what they're creating a container for everyone to come and let whatever happen happen. And I think people can do that in their lives. It's really great. I think it's very rare. They've built a community that people trust them

and then they know and it's not like it's gonna be perfect. I know, it's so brave. That's what freaks me out. I don't even want to like, if someone comes up and talks to me, I'm like scared I'm requiring too much of them just for standing there for five minutes.

I'm like, oh my God, how do I get us out of this? Sorry, I'm totally. I can't host a dinner party because I'm like, how audacious it would be to suggest that the best thing you could do with tonight was to come to my house. Is everyone having enough fun? Is it okay?

And she's like, can 5,000 people travel to a different country? And I swear to God, they're gonna have a great time. She's like, no problem. That's audacious as hell. Think about how many things go wrong. There has to be. I don't know. I'm sure there's a million things that go wrong.

I'm sure there's people that aren't happy. I'm sure, whatever. Like I'm sure there's, and they just do it because they think it's go wrong. There has to be. I don't know. I'm sure there's a million things that go wrong. I'm sure there's people that aren't happy. I'm sure, whatever. Like I'm sure there's, and they just do it because they think it's worth it. And so they take on responsibility for all of those people's experience. That is what it is. Damn, that's so good.

So few people take on responsibility for other people's experiences. And I know it's different for musicians, but that feels like, oh, I don't have to be responsible here. Somebody else has got this for us. And it might not be perfect, but that's not the expectation. Right, perfection is not the expectation.

No, it's just that you're gonna have an experience. Yeah. Yeah. We love you, Brandon, Kath. We love all of you. I just hope we can all find spaces or make spaces where we feel. Also, can I give myself a little shout out? Brandon, Kath. We love all of you. I just hope we can all find spaces or make spaces where we feel. Also, can I give myself a little shout out?

Yes, please. Okay, so on the last night, Tish's management team had her QR code, like little business cards essentially made up for her. And she forgot to bring them to her pool stage set to pass out for people to download her new music or whatever. And so on the very last night, we still had this huge stack of them to give out.

And so I was like, Tish, I'm gonna go out there into the masses of folks. And I'm just gonna start handing out your QR code to get people to download. So I just started walking around. I was just momma juring big time. People kept coming up to me, asking me, can I have a picture?

And I was like, for sure, but you just gotta take your phone out and I need to see you stream her song right now. I just totally, shamelessly was marketing for Tishy Bear. You're such a good mama. Abby is the new Chris Kardashian. Chris Jenner. But I think Jenner.

Same haircut. Didn't she go back to Kardashian? Oh, I don't know. We're like the Kardashians, but we're like the Kardashians. Cause we deep in there. Okay. It was beautiful. She was like, do you want to come around?

We'll just tell people we're going to take pictures if they download Tisha's song. And I was like, I would never do that. Like, what if I walked up to someone was like, I'll take a picture with you. And they were like, who the fuck are you? Why would I want a picture with you? No, that's brave.

That was so brave. That was great. I know, but to be clear, 95% of the people I saw knew Tish and already had her downloaded. No. That's amazing. Sweet. There were 5% people that were like,

oh, Tish is yours? That was so cool. They didn't even know that Tish Melton was our kid. They've been listening to her music. But they knew her and they knew the songs. It's crazy. And that's like, I can't believe Tish gets to have this life. I can't believe she gets to be part of like

Brandi's family and be part of this traveling situation. And it's just, okay, all right, we're gonna stop. Yep. We love you, Brandi, we love you, Kath. We love all of you that were there this weekend. Thank you for taking such good care of our family. And maybe we could crowd surf next year. And we can do hard things. We'll see you next time.

And if you have good ideas about how you create these spaces in your life, call us because people need this. If you do this in your life in a different way, call us and tell us how you do it and how you get your out of control-ness and how you get your fun and your joy. The phone number is 747-205-307.

Call us and tell us how you get your out of control fun, how you fill yourself up, what's your container? Tell us all the things. And also go stream Tish's music. I don't know how, go to Best Buy and buy the CD or whatever. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. She has no CDs out. All right, well whatever.

Just go to any streaming service, one of your DSPs, whether it's Spotify, Apple Music or whatever, and click add so that she becomes part of your library and then play her songs. March 1st. What does DSP? Those are all those streamers. It's like the fancy way of saying that. Yeah, you really you've been waiting this whole time to say DSP Haven't you? Yeah, I've been waiting this whole time to say Best Buy. You guys I've learned a lot. Circuit City. I've learned a lot.

Circuit City Best Buy. I don't even know what to say. Circuit City, bro! Oh my god. I told you I peaked in the 80s. Tower of Records. Okay. Alright. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. these three things. First, can you please follow or subscribe to We Can Do Hard Things? Following the pod helps you because you'll never miss an episode and it helps us because you'll never miss an episode. To do this, just go to the We Can Do Hard Things Show page on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Odyssey, or wherever you listen to podcasts and then just tap the plus sign in the upper right hand corner or click on follow. This is the most important thing for the pod. While you're there, if you'd be willing to

give us a five star rating and review and share an episode you loved with a friend, we would be so grateful. We appreciate you very much. We Can Do Hard Things is produced in partnership with Keydence 13 Studios. I give you Tish Melton and Brandy Carlisle. I walked through a fire, I came out the other side. I chased desire, I made sure I got what's mine And I continued to believe, I walk the line Cause we're adventurers in heartbreak So now, a final destination

We stopped asking directions Some places they've never been And to be loved we need to be known We'll finally find our way back home And through the joy and pain that our lives bring We can do a hard pain I hit rock bottom, it felt like a brand new start I'm not the problem, sometimes things fall apart

And I continued to believe The best people are free And it took some time But I'm finally fine Cause we're adventurers and heartbreaks on that A final destination in lack We've stopped asking directions To places they've never been And to be loved we need to be normal We'll finally find our way back home And through the joy and pain that our lives bring We can do hard things These were adventurers and heartbreaks on that

We might get lost but we're okay now We've stopped asking directions To places they've never been And to be loved we need to be known We'll finally find our way back home And through the joy and pain That our lives bring We can do hard things

Yeah, we can do hard things, yeah we can do hard things, yeah we can do hard things