We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle - Brave Parenting Qs & the Power of Saying YES!

Episode Date: July 29, 2021

Glennon and Amanda decided to add a second episode each week after Glennon’s big move to California—in the first Thursday episode, they discuss: 1. Glennon’s experiment of Saying Yes to anything the universe invites her to. 2. How much screen time is too much screen time? 3. Are we all just Pendulum Parenting (over-correcting parents’ mistakes and screwing our kids up in the equal and opposite way our parents screwed us up)? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Whether you're doing a dance to your favorite artist in the office parking lot, or being guided into Warrior I in the break room before your shift, whether you're running on your Peloton tread at your mom's house while she watches the baby, or counting your breaths on the subway. Peloton is for all of us, wherever we are whenever we need it, download the free Peloton app today. Peloton app available through free tier, or paid subscription starting at 12.99 per month. Well, hey everybody! Welcome back to We Can Do Hard Things. This is a really exciting day because we decided to add an episode

each week and the reason we decided to do that is because, well, we missed you once a week didn't seem enough. Also, we were hearing from you that you felt quite abandoned for the rest of the week. And thirdly, the responses to each episode and the questions you're sending are so amazing and there are so many and we haven't been able to get to enough of them on our first episode each week. So now we're coming to you for a second episode. Hi, sister. Hello, Jeybird.

This is so wild. I'm looking at you and your background looks completely different. And you, this is the first time I'm seeing you in your new state. I know. And you all, if it's a little bit echoey, I'm very sorry, I'm doing my best, but I am in a house with nary a piece of furniture. And so the echo is just the empty halls of this home, which is in a new place we moved from Florida to Southern California, all the way across the whole damn country, with all of us, the whole famed Emily. So,

me, Abby, Craig, Chase, Tish, Emma, our four dogs, just the whole, it was like national lampoons, move across the country, but we made it, and we're here. And now I'm even further from you, sister, I miss you. It was those hours that you're all in the plane. I mean, it was the most anxious the whole time. I'm like, everyone that one little bucket of tin has all of my people in it. And I couldn't breathe. It was really tough But then you landed and I realized I probably need to get medicated and it was it was so

Happy I'm so excited for you for all of you Thank you. We're excited to it's all the newness here. We're trying to figure things out. We don't know anybody We don't know what to do with ourselves. It's like that very beginning of moving where you realize, oh, I don't have a doctor. I don't have an orthodontist for my kids. I don't have any friends. That's just like me normally, actually.

Yeah, yeah. I'm here for 20 years, but that's fine. Right. So maybe it's actually good excuse. Like, it makes sense that I don't have any of those things. But it's interesting that you. Like it makes sense that I don't have any of those things. But it's interesting that you say how you've done things the last 20 years because the kids keep saying, well, how am I going to make friends?

How am I going to make friends? And you realize, oh my God, that is such a huge responsibility when you move kids. It's like you have to help them co-create this whole other life this whole new life And so Abby and I've been talking about a lot and and then we are like wait We have to make friends like how do we make friends like Emma gets to go to soccer But like I have no act where am I gonna meet people?

Yeah, but that's elective. I mean, I feel like for kids, when you think about the reality of being a kid, okay? It makes, I mean, it makes me just my blood go cold. I mean, here is, here small child, get on this bus, go, be shipped to this place, be surrounded by strangers, hopefully someone you've seen before, and have to forge your way every day. I mean, they have to make friends. They're just in this world, you and Abby could decide you don't want to

make friends, you and Craig and Abby could hang out forever. But they have to. It just feels very precarious and scary to be a child. And then they have to, oh, and then by the way, and God, as a teacher, used to watch this, we tell them, you know, make friends, be with people who are good to you, and then they don't get to pick who they hang out with. Like, exactly. They're stuck in the same class on the same team. It's like the one thing about being a grown-up that is good. The one thing is you actually get to choose who you spend your time with, right? And then that is also the hard thing about being a grown-up.

I mean, we're gonna have to do a whole episode on friendship and what the hell it is and how we all do it or don't do it because I have always been just freaking terrible at it. I don't get it. I think it's because you and I have been kind of everything to each other since we were born, right? So we haven't relied on outside people to, I don't know. Why do you think that I'm so bad at it? It's like when I meet someone,

first of all, as a sensitive person, I'm just hyper aware of everything they're doing and saying and everything I'm feeling in all of the things. But also it feels like when you start a friendship, you're signing a contract or something. Like the person is gonna, we're gonna start texting and then that's gonna lead to emailing and then that's gonna lead to invitations

and then I'm gonna be in this situation where I've lost complete control of my life and this person's gonna expect things of me that I can't do and I'm gonna end up disappointing someone. As an introvert, I always feel like I'm going to end up disappointing someone. That makes sense to me. I think it's based on what people need. I mean, you when you have with your friendships, what you need is someone who you have a deep soul alignment with, who you feel understood and can understand and that you trust deeply. And that person can be

your very close friend and you can talk to them once every year and a half. And that fills your bucket up completely. Whereas other people that is not their love language, like they need the togetherness, the constant contact, the fun together, the whatever fills up their bucket. And when you don't have an alignment of those things, it's just some one person hustling to meet the to fill up the other person's bucket. But you're, that's why you and Liz are so beautiful together because that's how you operate. And so I think it's just a difference in what people are looking for. But when I was leaving Naples, some, this small group of friends that I had made that I

didn't spend a lot of time with actually, that I did love, they were all so wonderful. And I was leaving and I had this deep regret feeling of like, why didn't I spend more time with these people? Why? Wow. Like they were right here and they're so awesome and I didn't spend. So what I'm trying to tell you is that I am gonna be

a new woman here. That's my goal. I wanna spend the next decade now that my kids are older figuring out friendship. You heard it here folks. You heard it here first. Gladys gonna be a new woman. Get ready, she's texting all y'all back.

Well, no, it starts now. No, no, no, no, that's scary. But we decided we're gonna say yes to everything. Craig actually knows someone here and we saw this person while we were on a family walk the other day and this person invited us to this thing this weekend, which I believe is like a get together

where people are just gonna like get together. Get together? Yeah. Whoa. California is a wild. I know. And the woman who was so nice and open said, would you all like to come?

And guess what I said, sister? I said, yes. We are gonna be the yes family of the next several months. We're just going to say yes to anything the universe invites us to. We're going to try to make friends. I'm really excited. I want you, listener and me, to begin the countdown to the point in an episode three episodes from now,

on which Gladden turns from the yes person to the point in an episode three episodes from now on, which gladin turns from the yes person to the yes, but please give me your phone number so I can regretfully cancel on the day of. Right, exactly. Well, usually when I make a plan, then I just feel like it's a game of chicken that I'm hoping the other person cancels first.

So I wait, hope, because if the other person cancels, it's so ideal because then you don't look like the flaky one who cancelt. You can be so gracious that they cancelt, you know, oh, disappointed, but it's okay. And it's just so ideal, you know. So what I'm saying, sister, is that I do want to have friendship in my life. And I am going to try because we can do our best. Thank you. Thank you.

New state, new chapter. Yeah. We go friendship. Here we go. Give it an old college try. We'll go wrong. We'll go wrong. Okay.

So here's what we're going to do now. We have so many, had so many amazing questions after our conversation this week on parenting. I mean, when I tell you that we had thousands of, thousands of questions through our Instagram and also through our voice mails, I would not be exaggerating. It was absolutely amazing. So we are going to get to a few more of them today during our Hard cuse. Does that sound good? It sounds great. And I think that Who knows if we

Will have answers to any of these, but I think it's just it was just astounding how many hundreds of Questions came in that were the exact same story. And I think it's just for listening to understand that we are all having very similar experiences. And I think it's just, who knows if we have answers, but telling the story might make sure that you don't feel alone in your story. Yeah. I, um, when you were talking, I just thought of this old poem that's like, I thought it was I alone who suffered and then I climbed on my roof and saw that every house is on fire.

Like that's parenting. Right. Nobody's alone. Every day I'm house is on fire. And so, yeah, we don't have answers. I mean, we, I just got a letter from my friend Kiran when I moved from Naples and the back of it said, thank you for being a curious listener. Thank you for never offering directions to places you've never been.

Oh, my God, that's good. Because you always use it on other people and you don't accept directions, but you also do such a good job of not offering directions. Because you've never been where these people are going. That's beautiful. So if I'm just saying to you, sweet listener, if it feels like we're not answering the questions directly, that's because we're not answering the questions directly, because we don't really have any answers.

We just have solidarity, right? Okay, so let's go. Let's hear our first question. Okay, this first question is a write-in, which is my favorite. How many Disney movies a day is too many? Oh, bless you. How many Disney movies? Okay, well, the specificity of the Disney movie reference requires me to interject, first

of all, if it's a Disney movie, you must make sure that you're telling your little one. Okay, little one. We do not sacrifice our voices for princes. Okay? We do not fall asleep for years and be unconscious waiting for some prince to kiss us awake. Okay, so we do make sure that we, our challenging, old, ridiculous messages in the Disney movies.

Having said that, I have big feelings about screen time sister and I think that maybe any real parenting experts who are listening might blow up our feed after this, but I'm gonna tell you something. I feel like most of my angst raising little kids was about freaking screen time. I mean, it was like this idea

that a good parent had limited screen time and a bad parent had lots of screen time and that was like the main indicator. And like all day when I was just dripping with children and like trying to keep everyone occupied, there was this running shame voice in my head, like how many hours has it been, how many minutes has it been? And I don't know, I just put so much guilt upon myself

for how long they were watching TV. Then I started thinking about what that is all about. I started thinking about what that is all about. And I think there's some part of it that is our culture's obsession with constant productivity and no rest. It's like when we see people resting, especially our children who we are supposed to be responsible for molding, we feel shame because our culture teaches us

that rest is shameful. Right. But when I think about when I think back, actually sister to my best memories of childhood, my, and this could be because of my home bodyness and my obsession with coziness. But my best memories are, do you remember on Thursday nights when we used to actually be able to sit down on the couch and watch family ties? And just why we quit gymnastics. Yes, because it was on Thursday nights. Yes, we do not ready to give up our one freaking half hour of sitting there.

Like snuggling up with your family or yourself and like being on the couch and watching TV is so Wonderful It is it is and that's I think that I mean I I love the question because it's a difference between like if you're On a tablet 24 hours a day or yeah, that's a different thing, right? Please see my child playing God knows what on whatever terrible video game it is. But it feels wholesome that movie nights. It feels like, look at us. We're basically doing an activity.

Oh my God, haven't you gotten to that point? Like the screen time, the individual screen time has become so intense that now, if my whole family is watching TV together, I'm like, oh my God, this is a freaking Norman Rockwell moment. Like, we are, this is a plus parenting. We are basically camping in a national park right now. Oh my God, this is a shared experience of love and joy.

And by the way, I'm gonna say this one thing. I like doing things with the kids. I like adventures. Yadda, but my favorite family moments are when we are all in a row staring at something not talking. And it's just when it's a screen, that's helpful. Like when we are snuggled together, no one is talking to each other and we are all together. I love that. I love when no one is talking to each other. So I don't know. So the answer is none.

No, no, no, no. None is too many. No, opposite of that. Wait, there is no such thing as too many movies with togetherness and family time. Also, you heard it here. You heard it here. You heard it here first. And then if you watch like a documentary, forget it. That's like your that counts as reading time too.

Right. Right. Think you know what you can do if you're worried about reading time and teaching your children, just turn on the closed captions. Excellent reading activity. We read for eight hours. Oh my God. And then, you know, they yell for a snack and you give them an apple. That's freaking health class basically, you know. And then they have to figure out the remote technology. Stem. Stem. You're basically creating a stem genius. So you heard it from the sisters here.

We can do easy things like lots of movies incorporating the curriculum into that house time. Amazing. I'm Jonathan M. Hevar. I'm a podcast producer and I'm someone who likes fancy things. But I grew up working class. My parents were immigrants with factory jobs. And because of that, I think about class a lot. And I want to talk about it.

That's what we're doing on my new podcast, Classy. And what did you all eat? You know, trailer food. I was like, girl, we're not doing that anymore. You'll hear from people who told me awkward, embarrassing, and strangely intimate things about what class means to them. She said, you know, for the house cleaner, I hide the tag on the $6 bread. And I just thought, don't you think she knows that you're wealthy? You're hiding the tags from yourself. Classy.

A new podcast from Pineapple Street Studios. Available now, wherever you get your podcasts. you get your podcasts. Okay, next question. This is a call-in. So yeah, my name is Alexandra. I am sitting here calling you, rocking my baby. I got to have a question about my baby and parenthood. I'm wondering if you all have advice on navigating some of the traditions with identity when it comes to becoming a new parent. I have just been sort of blindsided by how quickly I feel like

my priorities have shifted and how the impact that becoming a mother had had in my relationship with my friends and with my husband and with my own parents and nice to blame. I guess if you have any thoughts on how to navigate being a new parent and understanding identity shifts, that would be really great. I love your show and I hope you guys are doing okay. Bye. Okay. Well, I want to start by saying navigating is probably not the right word. Like navigating is when I think of a boat and you're holding like a map and the weather

is fine and you're like, which way should we go? I'm going to plan this trip. But she said she was rocking a baby, okay, which means she just had a baby. So your boat, there's a large storm. A large storm has come. Okay. Very large storm. And you're a captain of that boat.

And so the map is gone. Like you're not right now deciding which way to go planning a route, okay. When the baby comes, the storm is a ruin. And that's the hatches here. That freaking hatches. You're not like, oh, how do I navigate my friendships? How do I navigate my relationship with your friends are dead to you? Your mom's dead to you. This is not no. to you. Your mom's dead to you. This is not no. Okay, this is storm level. It's like emergency time, right? It's like your fog of war. I remember when that was the most helpful one, my friends like three weeks in texted me and was like, how is it going in the fog of war? And it was so liberating because it really truly feels

like you're in a war zone and you're just like, you're like army crawling through the day. And I think if we just set it up like that, then people would feel less ashamed of the very logical consequences of war. But Alexander just put all those words together. I mean, Aleksandr is an overachiever and I guess you shouldn't, guess you doesn't need an answer from us. Aleksandr. That's damn right.

Lord, I'm mercy. Yeah, Aleksandr, you with all of those fancy sentences and words that make sense are crushing it. Okay. I really, but for everyone else who was more like us and not putting together sentences at the beginning, I mean, you know, we talk a lot about identity and keeping ourselves. And you know, that's what untamed was all about. And I just don't think any of it applies to new parents. I can't. I don't think you can have nice things with you. But you can have nice things like an identity and peace. It's just survival mode.

So I think one thing you can do is release the desire, release the need for that and just know that during this time, it is a bit of a time outside of time, right? Yeah. And you don't have to be terrified that you're never ever gonna get yourself back, you will. If you're already thinking about getting yourself back when you have an infant, that's coming, okay?

So there will be a time when once again,'re trying to find your soul, you know, separate from this role that you've just taken on. But for now, Alexandra, just go easy. Go easy on you. The war will pass. The storm will pass. You once again will be navigating your own life. So true.

And when you think about it, how many times do someone start? You start a brand new big job, right? You just got a big promotion. Start a brand new job. People lead with, oh, have you seen, you know, Mark lately? No, he just got a brand new position. He's really over like Mark isn't worried about his identity and navigating his relationship. Mark just got a brand new really big ass job. Okay, so did you, Alexandra? You just keep on keeping on through that job and you'll come back.

You'll come back. Be like Mark. Be like Mark. I wish you got paid like Mark. Yeah. I do like, damn it to help Mark. Okay, this is a right in Glenin. Did you ever feel guilty for just wanting to be alone sometimes? Oh God. Yeah. Yeah. But okay, I just this is this is a story I want to tell about this. It's quick, I promise.

But I was doing Dr. Bernet Brown's podcast early in the untamed days when it first came out. And we were talking about this ridiculous situation. We find ourselves in parenting where we are still human beings who have needs, but like suddenly no one cares. You're not perfect. And A, not applicable. Not applicable. Your needs and personality and none of that matters, right?

And Brunei was talking about this situation where she had just come home from this long business trip. Okay, and she was freaking exhausted. She was freaking exhausted. But she got home and that night, one of her kids had the school event. And she felt, she just felt like she could not go, because she was so desperate for some alone time, because she gets mobbed at those things. Exactly. Of course she does. And she just needed a minute. But of course, the mom guilt of like, oh, I've already been gone. And now I'm going to

tell my kid that I can't go to a school thing. I probably missed three things this week. And now I'm here. But she, her, her, her need was so desperate that she just did it. She said to her son, I'm so sorry, like, I can't go to that thing. I have, I need some alone time, right? Okay. A week later, her kid, there was something that he was supposed to go to for school. And he said, no, I'm not gonna go, I can't go, I don't wanna go. He came to her and told her a story about how he feels like he's an introverted person.

And sometimes he feels like there's no space for him in the world that he has to go to all of these things or he's being mean or he's being anti-social or he's being whatever. He didn't know that you got to say, no, I have needs. I need alone time. He didn't know that until, but I did it until, but I modeled it for him. And her saying, no, I'm not going to her own kids thing allowed him the freedom to say, oh, I see, we are human beings who have needs and personalities and we get to assert them. We get to say no. So I will just say to that caller, like, or that right in, maybe switch it,

like instead of saying, oh, I have this need that is going to take away from my child. Like it's a zero sum game. It's like, no, I have this need and I need to show it to my child. So my child knows that whatever needs they have, they get to get met also. That's so good. Because same, same with every other need. Yes. If you need to cry in this moment because you're so overwhelmed, I'll do that sometimes. We're all just, I used to try to keep it in. And then I'll just like get super upset and I'll just say, I'm having a really rough time right now.

It's not you guys. It's just, I'm having a really rough time and all. It's just for any need that you're modeling, then they don't have to be secretive about their own needs or feel like there's something wrong with them. Yes. Good. So then one day when Bobby or Alice is feeling overwhelmed and they just need to break down, they get to. Because they've seen their mom have that freedom and they get to have that freedom too without shame. So, yeah, that's my answer to that sweet.

Just be alone. Talk about your need to be alone in front of your kids. Great. Here's another right in. Glenin, why do they just keep talking? Oh my God, because we taught them that. We steered them so wrong. This is my thought about that.

So when I was growing up, I felt we all had different parents. Our parents were raising us in different generations. OK, right. So I always had this feeling that there was not enough room for me to speak or to have big feelings Right as a kid so in Response because so many of us are just parenting in response right everything that our parents did. We're just doing the opposite So here's what happens when that's the way we

parent. I taught my children to express every freaking thing that comes to their freaking minds to talk about every feeling that they have. And sometimes sister, you know this, sometimes I'm listening, I'm looking at my child, who has been speaking at me for two hours about their feelings. It's like a hostage situation, right? And I'm just looking at them thinking, oh, I have done you so wrong.

Like I should have taught you the benefits of suffering silently. I have over corrected. And now you think that everybody cares about every single thing that you think or feel or what. So, I still prefer that to not having enough room. And I think in the long run, it works out. But it's just this idea that we're really just like pendulum parenting.

Actually, you should do a whole episode about that. Just this idea that we're pendulum parenting parenting that whatever childhood trauma we have, we just go the absolute opposite and just screw them up the other way. Right, yes. That's exactly right. Kind of like how we were like, there was very, we knew what we were supposed to do and what we weren't supposed to do

and there was a lot of discipline in our house. And I feel like I go the opposite way where I'm like, well, I know, I realize why this would be so frustrating to you. And I know it. So, and then I'm like, oh, I accidentally made assholes. Yes.

So, because I'm just so, I don't want the like hyper-disciplined environment. And it's going completely the other way. And it's so fascinating because if you really, I know this is off the talking concept, but I was talking to my friend who also had a very disciplined household. And she was like one of very many children.

She, they all, it was all like work ethic, taking care of yourself, taking care of the family. So at six years old, she is baking the entire family's bread consumption for the week. They literally had the chickens, she's baking for the family. So me and this to say, she's a very self-sufficient person has been through a lot. So we were talking recently about, you know, we did, we've learned to take care of ourselves so much and we're growing up raising these kids who are going to have other people tying their shoes until they graduate from college because they were just handing them everything in response to that. And I was like, I just don't know,

they're just gonna are they ever gonna get a job? And she's like, you know what? I don't know if that's true. She's like, we tell ourselves that, but is that true? And can we just, might they just be happy? And is that okay? And it made me think of this idea that sometimes we reframe

our things that we've been through our difficulties and we create this like causal link between those difficulties and our strength now to make sense of it, right? To say it's because of that that we're like this. But it's just super interesting to think, is that always the case? And do we actually,

does the pendulum, because there's always this guilt, right? The same thing with the manalmic kids have no discipline. And I have this guilt because they're not going to have the self-discipline I have. Like, is that true? Or is it that we just create a story about the stories of our life and about how we came out and that they're not everything and we're raising our kids and not everything our kids

are, need to be in response to our own stories and our own experiences? Yeah, that's so true. It's like we're creating the pendulum out of air. Like maybe the stories aren't really at all. Yeah, that's interesting. Cool. But yes, they talk way too much. OK, here's a call in.

My name is Ali. First of all, hello to a Glennon sister in the pod squad. I'm just curious, after hearing you guys talk about drinking in both of your relationships with it, how both were either of you approach it with your children, and as especially your children who are like in high school are going into college. That's a really interesting topic for me that I feel like isn't covered a lot in most substance podcasts or docs. Thank you guys so much. This is a tricky one.

I have no black and white answers for this because for us, it's talking about alcohol has been kind of like talking about sex. Like we just do it often, but like poorly. Like we don't have like, you do sex. You do sex often in poorly. No, we don't, we don't, no, we just do sex poorly. But the sex talks is what I'm saying.

Like it's not like a one time thing. It's just like this ongoing attempt to basically when I'm talking about alcohol or sex with my kids, I'm not really trying to deliver any information. I'm really not. I'm just trying to make the actual topic less terrible and awkward to talk about. Does that make sense? Because I never know exactly. I mean sex is a freaking quagmire of confusion for me. So it's not like, it's not like I have any expertise. I'd like to share. You're like, would you like broccoli or carrots tonight? Volva. Anyway. And PS, I think so the kids now are like whatever mid teens to older teens. It's just started to become less terribly awkward to talk about.

And I've been trying for so many years. Anyway, she's talking about alcohol. Okay. My kids know everything about my alcoholism, not every detail, but they do know that their mom started drinking very, very early and that it became addicted to alcohol and that it deeply negatively affected my life for a very long time until I quit. And that Abby and I are sober family, right? So they don't see alcohol in our house. We're not, we have no alcohol.

And they also know that they have likely a gene that might make them more susceptible to becoming addicted to alcohol. Should they allow it to become part of their life? Okay. So, I would say that I don't know in the long run how that will affect them. I don't know if they will be drinkers. I don't know if they will be sober. I don't know any of that.

I don't know how it's going to affect them in the long run. I just know that they do have the information that they need. And I'm trying to just kinda make sure that they know the truth about that. What do you, you have much younger kids? What do you plan to, or do you already talk about? We just talk about, I mean, they know what, why not? They know what beer is, they know,

they did ask when I stopped drinking. They asked, well, why did you stop drinking? And if there was a reason for you to stop, why does daddy still drink? So, you know, they're obviously noticed things. And I just said, I stopped drinking because I was concerned that there was, that I could possibly become addicted to drinking and addicted to drinking means that it controls you instead of you controlling it. And daddy does not have the same fear or concerns about being addicted. And that, and I just say drinking

is, you know, having some alcohol is fine when you start to feel out of control. It isn't, but it's fine for some people and not fine for other people. So we don't, we haven't talked to them about their predisposition to this yet, but we just kind of talk about it regularly. Yeah. And in that way. And it's interesting when there's one parent that drinks alcohol and the other one that doesn't, you have to be very careful. We have found not to assign moral value to deciding not to drink or to drink, right?

Because if you are sober family, you know, if Abby and I are sober, the kids as young, I was afraid that they would start to think, oh, not drinking good, drinking bad, because Craig has a beer, right? So I did notice that, you know, one of my kids would start to make comments about people who were drinking, like they were making bad choices, even if they were adults, you know?

So I had to kind of get in there with that. So I think that this parenting Q&A or Q&A more Q&N. Q&N is Q&N-esque, Q&N solidarity. Yes. But we want to end our second, our episode two a week, with something that is making life easier, right? Because we can do hard things, but sometimes we just need a little ease and joy. So I have a couple things. Can I start this way? Yes.

I don't know if you have anything that's making life easier, but I have two things. Okay. The first thing is this show that I can't tell you. I love it so much. Our whole family loves it. We've been just inhaling it and it's called hacks. Okay. Gosh, you've been tweeting about this.

Oh my god, I cannot stand it. It's a Jean Smart who is just so freaking brilliant. And it's about this older woman comedian and younger woman comedian and how their lives intertwine. And it's just, it's feminist, but it's like an end. It's full of heart and the writing is incredible and the messages are so good. And our whole family has watching it together. There's a few spicy parts that we had to, you know,

like, sweat through with the children. So just know that. They'll have some good sex and drug talks, actually, if you would like to jump start those conversations. I never reasoned the movie night is so good. Right. Look at that. It's like a freaking after school,

after school special, you can just, yeah. But I just think it's special. I think it's so different, but it reminds me of like the Ted Lasso of this year. It's just full of heart. It's like if it's like the, I don't know, hacks. We'll make your life easier and better. Okay, and then there's also an amazing thing

that people have been trying to get me to try for ages. And I kind of have this like sneaking suspicion that every single day that it will change my life if I do it. And I still don't do it ever. Because there's so many things that could be as you're leading up, I'm like, there's like, what do you think?

Take a guess. What could it be? Okay. So it's this idea that all of these health, people are always telling me to do. And it's called drinking water. Oh Yeah, that's very untrend. It's it's like water is like it's like if you took a coffee But then you filtered out the coffee what would be left is called water and it's like this clear thing liquid that I don't know, sporty people drink.

Where can you get it? Where do you get yours? I mean, there's different places, but like in my kitchen, I have this like thing that I just go ch, and it just pours out. Just pours out, I know, I know. So I've been drinking water, and I've been trying for,

you know, this, this, everyone's gonna get mad at me, but I'm just trying for two glasses a day at the beginning. I know sister it's bad. I'm serious, I don't drink water, I'm a dehydrated prune, okay? But I would like to so far, extol the virtue, the life changing virtue of water. Like I feel better.

I feel better with just my two little glasses. I'm going to go for three. Okay, so Jerry's still out on this people, but Glenin has a hunch. Water good. It makes me feel better. Okay, so I feel like I could, I just after I drink a glass of water, I feel like I'm one of those health gurus. Like I should be an influencer. I should be a health influencer. Is you get sponsored by water? I know. Okay, so we can do hard things

that we can also do easy things. We can watch hacks. And by the way, I don't like know them or like I'm not, I don't have any affiliation with that. So you're gonna write to us and be like, please stop invoking our show and your show. And drink a glass of freaking water. Okay, every time I think I'm a big thinker,

I'm a big, I've big feelings, I get really overwhelmed. Okay, and so at least once a day I think I have to have, I have to have a new life. I have to like quit my job. I have to have a new state, I have to move, I have to have a new life. I have to like quit my job. I have to have a new state, I have to move. I have to have a new family, I have to have a new religion. I have to have new friends. I hate everything. I need all of these big things. And what I think I really need is just a glass of water. Right? Like when the big feelings come, think small, drink a glass of water. We love you so much. We can do hard things, but let's also try

it easier. Alright, we'll see you next week. We can do hard things, is produced in partnership with Cadence 13 Studios. Be sure to rate, review, and follow the show on Apple podcasts, Spotify, Odyssey, or wherever you get your podcasts. Especially be sure to rate and review the podcast if you really liked it. If you didn't, don't worry about it. It's fine. you