We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle - Testing Abby: How Well Does She Really Know Glennon?

Episode Date: August 7, 2025

435. Testing Abby: How Well Does She Really Know Glennon? Amanda puts Abby in the hot seat to find out how well she knows Glennon. Find out who WINS and how you can start to use these questions to get to know your people better.  Listen to Part 1 here: 434. The Not-So-Newlywed Game with Glennon & Abby: Who Wins? List of Date Qs:  1.  What’s your favorite room in your house? 2.  Which one of you is most likely to initiate a home improvement project? 3.  What is your favorite family tradition? 4.  Other than anything related to the kids, what is your proudest achievement? 5.  What’s a challenge you’ve overcome as a couple? 6.  Who is more likely to burst out laughing at inappropriate times? 7. Who is more likely to forget important dates? 8.  What is something you are always right about? 9.  What is something you are seldom right about? 10. Who is the better budget keeper? 11. What is a funny habit about your partner that makes you smile? 12 When you’re in the car, who controls the radio? 13. If your partner could have a superpower what would it be? 14. If your partner were an animal, what would she be? 15. What is your partner’s hidden talent? 16. Who said I love you first? 17. How do you decide what to have for dinner? 18. What phrase does your partner use too often? 19. What would your partner say are her best personality characteristics? 20. Who is your partner’s hero? 21. Which one of you is better at self-care? 22. What story does your partner tell over and over? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to We can do hard things. Well, today, love bugs, we have the second installment of the newlywed game. The newlywedish game. Yes. Abby's in the hot seat today. Okay. H-O-T-T, S-E-A-T. Right.

And I'm going to be asking her questions about you, but on Tuesday we did me asking you questions about her. Okay. And I know that you're wanting this to be a competition, Abby, because you want everything to be a competition. So to that end, I will remind you that I did really, really well. I think I got them all right. I mean, to be clear, I don't feel like it's just you doing really well.

because you answered the questions and then she answered. So I think you all did very well together, right? Well, I would suggest that the onus was upon me to guess what she would say about herself. All her responsibility was was to respond authentically in her own feelings. Right. Which I consider an accomplishment to respond authentically in your own feelings. So I also say brava to Abby. actually that's true

very good she could have thrown it yeah but I just think that that is the way that I'm thinking about this like Glennon she was answering the questions and so all of what we did before on Tuesday

that those are Glennon's points because she had to answer them and then I had to confirm or deny so those points will go to Glennon and how it goes today those points will all go to me Okay. Great. Well, let the competition begin. So you, sister, have to leave. Okay.

Bye. Tell me twice. Get out of here. Don't cheat. Cheaters never win, except for most of the time. Can you actually text me where you're sitting? I'm going to sit outside on the stairs. Oh, no, no. You got to go away. You can hear it. Yes. I went all the way upstairs in our bedroom and sat on the couch. And text me a picture of yourself when you get there. You want her to verify that she's there? is a cheater. Even though she says she's not competitive. If you're not competitive, then why I ever cheat? Truth be told.

It's a great question. She's a great question. Either super competitive or super insecure, one of the two. Maybe both. All right. Is she gone or are we waiting until she verifies? I hear her feet going up the stairs. I think we can go.

Okay. All right. Abby, Wambach. Speaking of cheating, have you looked at my questions? No. Okay, she says no. Okay, Abby, what's Glennon's favorite room in your house? This is difficult because, of course, it would be our bedroom because she loves sleeping. It's like her favorite thing when we get into bed at night. But because her art stuff,

let me just give you a little bit of a visual. I do want that. We don't have an art room in our house. We don't have enough space. So upstairs on the top floor where we live, the living room and the kitchen are on the top floor. So Glennon set up her art studio at the end of our dining room table. And then there's a little nook where she sits and reads in the mornings sometimes. So I would say that area of that room. Like the room is a big room. So it's, you have the kitchen and the living room and the dining room all like right next to each other. Yeah. It's all one open space. Yeah.

Yes. Okay. So the reading nook slash art section of dining room table? Yes, but I also will say that she very likely could say the bedroom because she loves going to sleep. That's where the magic happens in my magic. We mean sleeping. Okay. Which one of you is most likely to initiate a home improvement project?

Oh, Glennon, 100%. Okay. For an example, she wanted to have Christmas in June. Oh, right. She needed to like a change up of energy. And she wanted to put up all the Christmas decorations. And I called marriage. I was like, no.

That means I have to go get all the shit. I got to put up the Christmas tree. No, I don't want to. She loves home improvement projects. She loves thinking about things. I mean, the amount of time we spend on Zillow and never buy a house is illegal. It should be illegal. Yes.

Anticipation is 90% of the experience, right? So you can just anticipate and anticipate and never do anything. And then you have 90% out of the 10. That's pretty good. Yes. One of the things about Glennon is that she likes to start the projects. And then, you know, she'll go through the whole house and clean out every cabinet in the house. And I just have to wait until she's done.

And there's just piles of stuff to go. get thrown out. So it's, she's a starter of home improvement projects. Yes. For sure, she's the one that's initiates. Initiator, not completed. Okay. What is Glennon's favorite family tradition? Um, I mean, the Christmas holiday season. Yes. Literally. She's really good at that. Other than anything related to the kids, what do you think is Glennon's proudest achievement? I think her sobriety. She's said that before, and I think that probably maybe even more recent, is just this new, this newfound freedom she is experiencing, though it's been difficult to cultivate over the last couple of years of this therapy. This is how we kind of define sobriety now is just more peace, more freedom.

So that definitely that. What's a challenge you've overcome as a couple? There have been a few. Well, I think the initial, like, me coming into the family was a challenge and one that was really beautifully navigated by Glennon. She handled it so truthfully, so honestly with the kids and with Craig and not an easy situation. I also think that we've gone through phases in our relationship and our marriage that has allowed us through different forms of therapy, through our own individual therapy,

has allowed us to, I think, understand each other better and communicate through conflict so much better. You know, early days, I just took everything so personally. And it was like, I was so scared of her leaving me. And I think we really try hard not to take advantage of, our softest parts and like our deepest wounds. But I think she might say one of those two things. Okay. Amazing. Okay.

The working through conflict, communicating through conflict and the blending your family. Yeah. Together. Okay. Who's more likely to burst out laughing at inappropriate times? Oh my God. Glennon.

Okay. I think we've talked about it on the pod before, but we'll be in a conflict. We'll be in like a fight. And I will come to bring some sort of grievance to her about if she's hurt my feelings. And I'll be so earnest. And sometimes I'll be crying or even in tears or really upset. And I think her laughter is indicative of her guilt. I think that there's an overwhelming sense of, well, it's just an overwhelming emotion that's happening.

And I don't know if she, I also wonder if it's because. because I'm being so earnest so quickly and so vulnerable that it's almost like offensive to her because she's not learned that mentality and that way of being. This is a real thing. We need to figure this out. I want to do a podcast on this of like Glennon and I both are like earnestness is like has a disgust response. It's like a nervous system disgust or sabotage with the laughter.

or something that is so odd. I don't know if it's because we grew up in such a sarcastic home that like everything was sort of addressed like through the sarcasm prism to the heart of it and just going to the heart of it feels so odd. I don't know. Yeah, it's funny. And unfortunately, for me,

the laughter also is like a levity in the intensity of my feelings. And so when she laughs, it makes me laugh. And so it's like it eases my upsetness in a way or it eases the intensity of which I'm feeling. But it could easily go the other way. If you were like crying and she laughed, you could easily be like, oh, that's further evidence that I should be upset. One time I looked at her and I said, do you see my sadness? And she said, yes. And I'm like, does it make you sad?

And she said, yes. And she just burst out laughing. And I'm like, oh my gosh. She's like one of the biggest empaths I've ever met. But when it comes to her most personal relationships, it's really, it's almost like too close to the fire. Yeah. Oh my God. That's amazing. Okay. Who's more likely to forget important dates? Oh, this is a good one. I think she's going to say her. But, okay, we both forget things all the time. Timing, scheduling. We've got a lot going on. Things fell through.

What is something Glennon is always right about? Oh, facts. She's the fact finder. She remembers things. I don't remember things. I generally have, like, the right idea, the bigger picture. But, like, in the focused factual moment, she wins. She's right about that grammar.

Grammar. Yeah. Stories like remembering, like storytelling and remembering stories. Like how it actually happened versus how you. I'm like a 75% correct storyteller. And she's like a 99er. Amazing. What is something she seldom right about?

Hmm. Numbers. Numbers in time. Who's the better budget keeper? I am. Well, I mean, yeah. Glennon doesn't do any of that. That's interesting because you did not used to be.

Yeah. You used to be a budget buster. I was a budget buster. And what I realized when we married was that Glennon wasn't going to take the reins. And so I had to do it. What is a funny habit about Glennon that makes you smile? Funny habit. Okay.

Something that makes me smile. This is going to sound so weird. And it might not be funny. But like, I am so amazed. at how much she reads books. You know, like a normal person, like the person who's listening to this podcast, like, you know, when you have like 10 or 15 minutes to spare, like you grab your phone and you're like seeing what the kids are doing or, you know, looking at your emails,

if she has like five minutes of spare, she's reading a book. I also think she might say that she's always fidgeting with her hands. Oh, yes. She might also say that that's an annoying thing, annoying habit I think that she does. I don't. I think it's cute because I know that she's like trying to like regulate. Oh, I think it's funny. Sometimes when we're watching TV, she will draw one one word in cursive and she'll write it over and over and over again and erase it. Like fake erase it with her hand. So with her left hand, let's just like say she's right. Somebody will say a word that was interesting. to her, she'll start writing the word and then erase it and then write it again and then erase it. But she's not writing it. It's just with her finger. Just with her finger on the couch, on her leg, and then she'll erase it. With her hand. She wipes it away. Wipes it away. Like she's like got to start over it and then just does it. And so every once in a while I'll say, what word are you writing? And she'll be like,

details. I'm like, oh, that's fun. That is so funny. Okay. When you're in the car, who controls the radio? Amma. Yeah, I knew it was going to be one of the kids. One of the children, for sure. If Glennon could have a superpower, what would it be? Probably to be less in her head to be, to not think so much. Yeah. And she already has a superpower that she most would probably want, which is a speed reading.

That's right. I didn't know. I mean, she is a bona fide speed reader. She can read a book in like two hours. You guys, she read three books in, three days when we were in Seattle for AMA soccer tournament just recently. It's humiliating because I actually am a very, very slow reader, which is a special slice of hell if you went to law school. And I didn't know that I was a slow reader, but I

am. And like, we'll get an email 30 seconds later. It'll be like pages and pages of things. And she'll call me and be like, what do you think? And I'm on like paragraph two of the thing. and it's humiliating because she's just, it's wild. I have to read next to her some emails. I'll be like, oh, look at this or like a text, a longer text. And she's scrolling, you know, she's like going. And I'm like, I read three words. Like, what the hell is happening?

It's embarrassing. It is. It's embarrassing. I would have said speed reading. But I do actually think that she likes the whole vibe of it, like the sitting and the being there and the doing it. Yes. So, yes. I don't know. This one, I'm assuming that there's something that she's going to say, like, to be magically dressed in the morning and comfortable in whatever she's wearing every day. Or to be invisible. I feel like she loves to observe things. She might just be like, I would like know when to be able to see me, but me to be able to see. Or maybe like having the ability to like know what other people are thinking. Oh, God. That's my personal nightmare. I would never, ever, ever want to know what people.

Same. Same. Oh. Get groceries delivered to your door from No Frills with PC Express. Shop online and get $15 in PC optimum points on your first five orders. Shop now at nofrills.ca. Hello, it's Lena Dunham. I host a podcast called The Sea Word with my, dearest friend and historian of bad behavior, Alyssa Bennett.

What is up? It's a chat show about women whose society is called crazy. We're going to be rediscovering the stories of women's society dismissed by calling them mad, sad, or just plain bad. Listen to and follow the C-word with Lena Dunham and Alyssa Bennett, available now, wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, if Glennon asked you to grab her a treat from the store or on the way home, what do you buy? This is difficult because I would have to get two things.

I would have to get something that I know she wants. And then I would also have to get her something that she thinks that she will want. So food and Glennon is a difficult, it's a difficult ask. So I would get something like a green juice. Okay, is that what she thinks she wants or what she wants? That's what she thinks she wants. Okay, so a green juice, she'll be like, that's what I want. Thank you.

But what she really wants is... What she really wants is like animal crackers or some sort of like Doritos or chip that she really likes. Okay. So you have to get both. You have to get both. Okay. I feel like I'm going to fail this. This is going to absolutely go poorly.

But maybe she doesn't know. She will be learning things, secrets about her that you've been keeping. That's true. Okay. Fill in the blank. One thing Glennon would never do is sports. What does Glennon talk about the most? Patriarchy.

And I would also say the children. Okay. Patriarch of the children. Not many people know it, but Glendon is really good at. A lot of things. It's so annoying. She's really good at distilling, complex ideas simply. This is a thing.

She calls it the, what does she call it, the simple after the complicated, that she feels like she's got to really dive super, super deep in. Yeah. And like immerse herself to come out with like the, one sentence thing that she yes and it's so one of the things that I know about her is that when the moment happens when she's done it when she's completed the simple after the complicated she has this aura this energy that's like I fucking did it she's like read that and I'm like oh shit it's going to be good what is something you think would improve Glennon's life if she would

only freaking do it. Honestly, at this point in her life, stop trying to fix her. So. Ooh. Oh, that is compelling. Yeah. And I might get some backlash from the pod squad around this because I think that she's done so much beautiful work. And it's like, I think that we need to like, be in all of the after of the work for right now. I don't know. Work begets work and then talking about your problems begets more problems at times. And I think we've done solid foundational building work. But I don't want to like live in it for a while. Yeah. I don't want to jump to the next thing quite yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I shouldn't talk about it. I don't want her to. Yeah. Yeah. That's very. Because yeah, it could just be your own mental health.

could be just another like workaholism where you're like, I need to put up a new goal and a new goal and a new goal. And it's never good enough. And it's never enough. Yes. If Glennon had to spend $100 on something, what would it be? Probably like a shirt or a manny petty. Okay. Or like a massage or something. Yeah. Yeah. What sense would Glennon say is best in you? Okay. So Glennon's saying this about you, Abby. your sense of time, your sense of humor, your sense of adventure, or your common sense? Adventure. Okay. What's Glennon's favorite season?

Summer. More than five years ago, when Glennon wrote Untamed, she described herself as midnight blue. And a lot has changed since then. What color would you say she is now? What color would she say she is now? That's good. I would say she would say about herself. that she's kind of like this yellowish, beige.

I think that she might say that she's getting closer to that pearly iridescent. Like she's on that continuum towards there, but I think that she thinks that she's not quite there yet. Amazing. All right, you did it. Okay. Let's see. Let's see how the cookie crumbles.

I think I'm going to do terrible. Glennon. She's coming. I'm excited to see what she says. Because it's interesting. I know her theory is that, like, the person who's answering is the one carrying the lift, but the person who's giving the answers about themselves is doing some serious introspection or not. It's true.

Or self-delusion. Yeah, it's true. And also, maybe she's, we'll see. We'll see how I did. We'll see. I'm excited. Hi, it went great. I'm not sure.

Uh-oh. I'm not sure. I'm not sure, she said. No one can ever be sure. It's hard. There's like so many different options because I know you, you're not a one kind of Exactly. You're complicated. I am an enigma wrapped in a puzzle. You contain multitudes. Trauma. Okay, I'm just going to note that my wife does not look confident. We have a code at soccer at Emma's soccer games. We can't sit next to each other because one time we didn't sit next to each other and the team did really well. So now Abby doesn't let me sit anywhere near her because she's, Of course, because she's not just a little stitious. She's superstitious.

So a couple times a day, a game, I walk over to her from my spot, if I ran the sidelines, and I say, how are we doing? Because I can watch the whole game, but not be sure how we're doing, right? I know what the score is. I understand. And if she says, she always only says one word. Okay? She says good.

But if she says it this way, good. That means we're doing shit. Mm-hmm. And she says, good, good. That means, oh, I'm so excited. We're really doing good. So what I'm saying is when I came down here, I got a face that was more like, good. Yeah.

Good. I think I'm feeling pretty good. Well, there's so many answers to each question that it's like, how do I know what you're going to say? It's, you know, it's hard. And I'm a bit of a shape shift. in life. So I understand this. I did give a lot of two and three possible answers. Okay, now that's already a clue. I don't know if we're allowed that, but I will accept it. I'll offer a few things as well. Okay. That could backfire because what if you offer one and

then you offer two that weren't her two. So just things strategically. Number one. Landmines everywhere. What's Glennon's favorite room in the house? Glennon, what would you say is your favorite room in your house? The family room. where we watch TV and read and sit and cozy and couch. She said that it was two things, the family room area where it's the reading of the nook slash the part of your dining room table where the art gets done.

Yes, that's the same. And then also the bedroom, because that's where the magic happens, which means sleeping, which is your favorite. Yeah, I think that's right. Number two, which one of you is most likely to initiate a home improvement project? Me, for sure.

Correct. What is your favorite family tradition? Christmas. Great. Other than anything relating to the kids, what would you say is your proudest achievement? I mean, I don't know, work writing this team together rising, my marriage, my marriage, my marriage.

No. She gave what is your actual thing that you're just not thinking of it. Sobriety. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah, sobriety. That's right. Good job, Glennon. You mean, Abby. Okay. What is a challenge you've overcome as a couple?

So many. That's right. I think the first one that came to mind is power and control, like, vibes of we had like the honeymoon period. And then after that, there was whatever's the opposite of the honeymoon period. It was no moon, scorching daylight, just like the moon has set, the sun is arisen. And now it's blazing sun period. It's scorched earth period. And it has lit up the sun, all the things that were hidden by the moon. And during that time, all of the things that I fell in love with Abby about started to drive me bad shit crazy and vice versa.

And so we had a long couple years of like a power. struggle and we had to learn how to argue and learn that neither of us were going to change really all that much. And so it was a time of acceptance. Yes. So that was a toughie. I think a lot of people don't even get out of that phase. So I'm proud of us for that. That's right. And I didn't necessarily completely say that, but I kind of said it with conflict and getting through it a little. And I feel like we would say it was half learning strategies and really working our asses off inside of conflict and half just a little bit of going dead inside, right? Just being like, well, that's who they are.

This is what it is. Yeah. This is who they're going to be forever. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes you keep it alive by going dead inside. Right. Yeah.

There's a lot to be said for that. It's a hopeful. Other people might call it radical acceptance, but going dead inside is another way. Yes. I also said that because I went back to the beginning and the way that I kind of came into the family, I think was a real challenge. Oh, yeah. The blended familyness of it.

all. Yeah. That was a challenge. But I don't feel like that's something we've overcome. That's just something that we continue to deal with. Oh, so you think we've overcome the power and control struggle? Oh, mostly. I mean, I think we still get hitched, like a little hitch. We still get a little hiccup. But I think mostly we have. Great. Do you think mostly you have, Abby? She said, great, in a very high-bitched way. What do you think? Yeah. I mean, I think that I think that, the last couple of years have been interesting. We went through the first couple of years of moon, honeymoon, and then we went through two years of power control struggle. We were fighting a lot, like nitpicking. And then we went two or three years with nothing. And then Glennon

started her therapy again. So that's brought up a lot of stuff. Because I think that you buried stuff. I think dead inside. I think you went dead inside. And so now that you're really being true to how you feel you are able to express yourself in certain ways that are that is different than you did before that it was just like either going to be your way or the kind of it's right or wrong it was your way which is right or it was wrong right and now you have a different way about it and so the power and control is it's almost like owning your discomfort with a situation rather than saying you're doing this wrong. Yes, I'm trying to regulate myself instead of controlling you to regulate me. Yes, and you're doing an excellent job. Thank you.

You're really working through it. So the issue itself is still alive, but the way that it's being handled is making it a non-issue, if that makes sense. That's so important. Would you agree? Yes. The gist of that that you are trying to regulate yourself so that you're not controlling her in order to regulate yourself. That's the whole. So like this is something that happens all the time with kids, right? So like I can't handle that my kid is being left out. Instead of dealing with my grief and shame and fear and projections into the future

about what it means that they're being left out and all of my anxiety about that, I will control the situation. I will find other friends. I will make sure they're included. whatever it is, because I need that situation to regulate me instead of just like dealing. Yes. Because then it's whack-a-mole. Yeah.

It's the whole shebang, I think. Yeah. In relationships. That's the biggest thing in the entire world for me is learning how to be okay so that I can be of service to my people, not use my people to service myself in my own nervous system. It's good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And protect them. because it's not, I mean, people think they're serving their people by protecting them. But really, that need to protect is serving your need to feel okay. Yeah. Yeah. Our people are not existing just to make our, not to be like, you know, cat scratching poles for us. And I don't think we really realize we're doing it. No.

But, yeah, they need to know we're okay so that they can live fully based on their own desires and wants and feelings and not our. Impact site located Entering spacecraft Contact Unidentified life form Containment We were safer in space

FX's Alien Earth, an original series streaming August 12 on Disney Plus. Sign up today. 18 plus subscription required TNCs apply. Who is more likely to burst out laughing at inappropriate times? Me, for sure, 100% all the time. Yes. Who is more likely to forget important dates? Me, 100% all of the time.

Yes. Okay. What is something that you are always right about? Oh, Jesus. What am I always right about? I truly don't know what this is going to be. No, I know. I think you're getting a little bit too, like, bogged into the detail of it. Books? Just be like, just pull perspective out. It's not about a specific detail. Like emotional guidance of human beings? I didn't say that, but yes, that's true. Like guiding the ship emotionally? Like what people need? Yeah.

Like being in touch with people's needs? That is true. I said facts. Okay. So facts. Facts. All right. She said facts.

Whereas Abby's big picture ideas. She said remembering things. You're good at remembering things. You're good at telling stories as they actually happened in a factual manner. And she also said you're always right about grammar. That's right. I struggled to figure something out. Yeah.

What would she say that you are seldom right about? I don't even remember what I answered here. You answer correctly. Soccer? Numbers and time. Numbers and time and dates and anything in the time and space continuum. Other continuum, spiritual continuums, emotional continuums. Yes, but time and space reality is not my jam.

Who is the better budget keeper? Abby. Yes. What is a funny habit about you that makes Abby smile? I don't know. Okay, come on. Just think about it. Like, we're watching a movie. Oh, oh, she likes that I write with my fingers all the time every important word that people say, which I always am doing. But what's the cutest part of it? Oh, and then I erase it so I can start over. But there's no writing because it's just my finger on my leg.

But I have to erase it to start a new sentence. Yeah. And that's what I do in my all day. Yeah. When you're in the car, who controls the radio? I do because Abby's driving. But I don't do it well. I'm sure you mentioned that.

And who controls you controlling the radio? The children. They just yell at me about what to touch. Touch that. Bluetooth. Something about connecting. Disconnect. Buttons.

Do it faster. Volume. Great. If you could have one superpower, what would it be? I forgot what I said here. Because this was a struggle for me. This is not right. This is not incorrect. But my first thought was, I would just be everyone I love superpower. So I could whisper in their ear what they should do next. So control over everyone. Shit. That is the one. That is the one.

Because I always have to remind myself. What did I say? What did I say? Okay, you said so that she could be less in her head, maybe more embodied. So that maybe she would just wake up and be totally comfortable all the time. Yes. And then we thought maybe like invisible so she could just do her observing but not have to actually interact with people. Oh, God, those are all good.

So yes, to all of this. But controlling everyone that you love is more accurate. I would call it guiding, loving the guiding. Yeah, you would. You would call it guiding. Yeah, and I feel like, because a lot of times a day I have to remind myself because of my work in this area, like, that person has their own higher power. So it would be great if I was saying that person has its own higher power. And it's you.

So get in there. You are the higher power of everyone you love. Oh, my goodness. I've never heard somebody say that. And it's perfect for you. And also incredible. That is my worst nightmare is to be somebody else's higher power. No, imagine, like, our kids would be, like, go down to say their prayers and be like, oh, and then I would get a message that's like, oh, Amma needs some help.

And then I would be able to be like, it's okay, honey, you're perfect. Like, I could just like, yeah. So I think this is for a tape that has YHP. You're higher power. You just fly in. Exactly. Exactly. And I want it to be like I don't have to fly. I want to just be able to teleport my thoughts. Yeah. No flying. That's too active. Yeah. Okay. That's like my worst nightmare when Alice says. I want to play an active game. Oh, no. You need to learn from your sister. You know what I say to Alice. I don't like that game. I don't want to play. I don't want to play that. I don't want to play that. Alice looks at me like, oh, I'm sorry. I thought you said, I don't want to play. And I'm like, I don't. I don't like that game.

She's like, you don't like that game? What? How is that relevant? My mom does so much shit shit. Exactly. Why are you telling me these things that don't matter to me? Get on the floor and crawl like a giraffe. Doesn't matter that you don't like this, Aunt Deity?

Okay. If you told Abby to grab you a treat from the store on the way home, what does she buy for you? I don't know. I'm fucking suck at this game. I don't know. What do I like for treats? you're doing great. Candy, a kombucha? Oh, that's good. Close. Very close. A juice. Explain Abby, or I can explain Abby, the answer, which was illuminating and wise. Okay, so you don't know this, Glennon, but what Abby has to get for you as a treat is actually two things. One, which is the thing you will think that you want. Yeah. And one which is the thing that you actually want. So the kombucha or the juice, but then also.

So the Twizzlers. So, yes, the green juice is the thing you will think that you want. But the thing you actually want is some kind of like animal cracker or Dorito or chips or something. Like a hostess cupcake with the cream inside. I mean, you've never bought that in your life. Well, maybe you should bring it home every once in a while. Oh, she's telegraphing things right now. Yeah.

I love a hostess cupcake with the cream inside. I've purchased those for myself. Yeah, there is a level of. this is the thing I should have and then you better also get me the Twizzlers. Yeah. Yeah. Do you even know me? Okay. One thing Glennon would never do is what's something I would never do? Throw a party. That's good. That's true. She said sports. Oh yeah. Sports. Yeah. Well, it's sad for me, but yeah. Okay. What is something that Abby thinks would improve your life if you would only freaking do it? maybe like just relax and have fun and do more joyful things and stop like worrying about

making everything better and like growing and working and doing the work and doing the work and like what am I working on all the time and can you just ever fucking relax and be okay what's the hell's the problem that vibes yes yes that's what I said okay not many people know it but Glenn is really good at? I have no idea. This is really hard. The getting to the simple after the complicated that you're really, really good at like diving in and distilling really complicated things very simply and that that gives you great joy. Okay, but everyone knows that. That's why I'm a writer and a podcaster. That's like literally my whole thing. Yeah, I know, but that's right then.

No, it's the question was not everybody knows that. That's like the only thing people don't. It's the only thing I'm good. Oh, no, hold on a second. I'm telling you. I'm telling us. Do you know? I was hoping for something that was hidden and like another thing. It would be like if Abby was like writing. She's a really good writer. Yeah. Or like if I was like soccer.

I was really good at soccer. Well, okay. I will tell people this. Not many people know this. Not many people know this. That Glennon knows all of the rules of the game of soccer. And she is not pretending. Oh, that's a good one.

Thank you. That's better. Yeah. So people think that because I do the bit, the funny. the funny, the schick of like, I don't get the soccer that I don't know anything about sports, but actually I know a lot about sports. That is a vehicle that I use, that humorous, I'm an alien. I've just landed. I've never seen a soccer game. That beginner's mind of it is something that I use as a joke to talk to people about soccer because when Abby and I first met and I started learning all

the stories about the women on this team and it just started to blow my mind. I promised myself I would get as many people as possible for my little world to soccer. And I felt like the middlemen between people and sports is so gendered and so like ridiculously male and so meant to turn people away that it would be funny to have another sort of middleman inviting people in who didn't know much. But I actually really do know what offside is and lots of rules. Amazing. Probably more rules than I do, honestly. She probably knows more rules than I do. She's like, what is that? And I'm like, I don't know. I never knew any of the rules. I just complained all the time. Just complain. That is the rule. Complaint about every call. What do you talk about the most? Just family and my family. Everyone in the family. Yeah. The children and patriarchy. Yes. The children and the patriarchy. Yes. What would you say is the best thing in Abby? Her sense of time, her sense of humor, her sense of adventure, or her common sense? A sense of adventure. Yes. What is your favorite season? Well, we don't have seasons in California, but I like all the seasons.

But you have to pick one that I said. Okay, I guess I'd say fall slash winter because it's like, I like the candles that are of the pumpkin and I like. like the idea of football in the air, even though I don't want it on. I said summer because the kids are off of school and you get to see them more and you love that. I do. I love summer when the kids are home and don't have to go to school. You're right. And then also right after summer comes fall and then right after fall comes winter, which is Christmas. Basically, she loves the seasons because it's, we're always changing. Yes, I love change. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay, here's the last one. More than five years ago,

you wrote and untamed that you were midnight blue. A lot has changed since then. What color are you now? Purple. Fuck. Amazing. Tell us why. Well, first of all, all of my, my answers are always aspirational. Okay. So like my writing. Like if I'm writing a book about something, you can bet, I have not figured out that thing yet, but in about five years, I'm going to. I'm like my own self-help author. I'm like pointing myself towards what I think things could be, right? Right. Purple, because I feel like I'm entering a sort of time in my life where I need to be the like solid, grounded, crone matriarch

of the family which has an element to me of the like divine feminine royal situation. Like I need to be sitting in my sovereignty on a fucking throne

unmoving sceptor in hand letting the people come to me like I'm an oracle when I'm like I'm an oracle When I mean the good of the realm. Yes. And I mean the children, okay?

I don't need anybody else coming to me like an oracle. Unless you want me to be your higher power. Well, I'll have an opt-in button for that. But so, purple, a touch of royal, a touch of, listen, everybody, we did the best we could. All right? Now you go ahead and you do the best you fucking can and then come back to my throne and you tell me how that fucking goes for you. That's my vibe. That's so good.

It's quite a vibe. Well done. Well done. I like viewing you. Oh, yellow. Why did you say yellow? I said yellow, beigey. Like you're coming into, I don't know.

I just see like. Pearly iridescent, you said. Yeah. That's nice. Thanks, babe. But your answer was good. Okay. I love you.

I think you did great. I think I did worse. I think you did great. Yeah. I think you all did great. Thank you, sister. That was fun. It was very brave of you.

And I feel like I learned. some new things about you, which was a real treat for me. Oh, a real TR. All right. Well, thanks, team. We can do hard things. We will see you back next time. You know what we should do. Let's put these questions in whatever the places where we put things for people to find it who are in the Pod Squad so that they can ask their people these questions. These are good question starters for dinners and stuff. Love it. Yay. Okay. Pod Squad, we love you. We will see you back here next time. Bye. Bye. If this podcast means something to you, it would mean so much to us.

If you'd be willing to take 30 seconds to do these three things. First, can you please follow or subscribe to We Can Do Hard Things? Following the pod helps you because you'll never miss an episode, and it helps us because you'll never miss an episode. To do this, just go to the We Can Do Hard Things show page on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Odyssey, wherever you listen to podcasts, and then just tap the plus sign in the upper right hand corner or click on follow. This is the most important thing for the pod. While you're there, if you'd be willing to give us a five-star rating and review and share an episode you loved

with a friend, we would be so grateful. We appreciate you very much. We Can Do Hard Things is created and hosted by Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle in partnership with Odyssey. Our executive producer is Jenna Wise-Berman, and this show is produced by Lauren Lagrasso, Alison Schott, and Bill Schultz.