We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle - The Not-So-Newlywed Game with Glennon & Abby: Who Wins?

Episode Date: August 5, 2025

434. The Not-So-Newlywed Game with Glennon & Abby: Who Wins?  Amanda gets to live out her life-long dream of being a game show host and Glennon and Abby are put to the test! How well DO these two lovebirds really know each other? Listen to part one and find out! This time Glennon’s in the hot seat. Come back for part two to see how Abby does! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What's better than a well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue? A well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door. A well-marbled ribeye you ordered without even leaving the kiddie pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered. Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart, groceries that over deliver. Welcome to We Can Do Hard Things. Today, I have my lifelong dream of being a TV game show host.

I did not know that. Except not on TV and not really a game show. Who knew that was one of your dreams? I did not know that. Maybe we should start something. I just feel like it would be so fun. You'd be very good at that. Well, we'll see.

We'll see if you're good at that. Yeah, we'll see. I don't know. I don't know. I might just have to go back to being a regular podcast host, which I'm exceptional at. Okay. I had this fun idea, and we'll see if it's fun,

of doing like a newlywed-ish game. Okay. Where we have one of you leave, and then I can ask the other one the questions about, like, so Glennon, we would have Abby leave and I would ask you questions about Abby, that you would be answering them as if it was Abby.

And then we'll have Abby come back and we'll see if you are correct or not. Okay, wait, my question already is, am I answering? First of all, I want to applaud us all for attempting lightness. I think Pod Squad, this hour for you is our attempt to be light and easy, breezy and fun. So I'm going to try to avoid trauma. Well, you haven't heard my question yet. Okay, great.

Great. This is my jam. I love this. A game. But my question is, am I supposed to answer these questions from the perspective of what I think or am I supposed to answer these questions from what I think Abby will say? I need you to just trust the process and there won't be confusion. It's not a tricky game.

It'll be obvious. The questions will be so clear that you will know what is intended for you. And it's not, you can always take a tea. Okay. Take a tea. Take a tea and just be like, I have a follow-up question, but you can't do that every time. Okay. I wish I had to. Just try to scream your way out of it. So I have a question. So before tests came to you in your life, Were you the kid that was like, but Mrs. Johnson, I don't understand. I wanna make sure that I get how to the instruct, like were you that kid?

I like to understand what's happening. Okay. I like to try to understand. She likes to overstand. I like to overstand. This is not a judgment. I am of the same ilk. I knew you were gonna say ilk.

Who says ilk? I do. I just knew you were gonna say ilk. I just knew you were gonna say ilk. Who says ilk? I do. I'm a cross-breed citizen. Abby says ilk and actually you might have just messed up one of my questions. Okay, Abby, you're excused. We love you so much. Do not be an ear sight. I can understand it's tempting. I won't. I'll miss you. Where are you going to go? I'm just going to go...

You're going to go outside the room? Yeah, I'll go watch some videos or something. Reels? She's going to go watch some reels? She's gonna go watch some reels. She's gonna watch some tiny horses. And then when she comes back, she's gonna say, I read this study and it's always just a reel that she saw. I didn't read the study. Okay. I say I watched the video that cited a study. Because we had a talk about it. I said, you need to say you saw it on TikTok. Okay. Can we just do the light most favorable to each other? The light most favorable. Okay, Hans, why do you need to know that she just popped back in and said, can Can we just do the light most favorable to each other? The light most favorable. Okay, Pondes why do you need to know

that she just popped back in and said, can we just answer in the light most favorable to each other? No, we need to do the light most authentic to one another because then it will get more confusing. She wants you to text her when she's done. When I'm done. Okay. Also, if there's any questions that you're like,

that's ridiculous, but I don't, then just skip. We have plenty. I'll try to do my best not to do that. Cause that's my rejecting the first offer is my MO, but I will try. And we're trying to do a little rapid fire. Okay. If it's possible, but who knows.

If Abby were an animal, what would she be? A golden retriever. No God, that's so true. I wish I had more golden retriever in me. If you got another dog and Abby had a hundred percent say on the name, what would she name it? I'm the name person. I'm the name person. Oh so she wouldn't? She wouldn't. This would be unusual? No I would have pages and pages. I already do. I already have pages of names just in case we have another dot. So your formal answer is she wouldn't. It would start with an H.

Your hypothetical doesn't work. It would start with an H. It would start with an H. Oh, Honey and Hattie, yep. Okay. Hamburger. All right, number three. What is Abby's hidden talent?

Planning things. Planning adventures, planning vacations, planning things, making everyone have a good time. Good time, Abby, got it. Okay, who said I love you first? We don't know that, but I bet it was her. Okay. Just based on her personalities.

Right, golden retriever. Please see it, golden retriever. If Abby had no soccer talent, what would have been her dream job? When she went to her college visit and they asked her what she was interested in, she said she wanted to be an FBI agent. And so the whole, every college tour,

they took her to the criminal justice classes. And she said, I don't want to do this What is this? I just want to be an FBI agent and they said this is what you have to do So that's when she changed her mind And she got real serious about soccer then she majored in leisure leisure activity. That was like a major and by the way That's her talent. That's what she's good at planning leisure activities. And that was her major Are you sure it's a leisure activities or is it hospitality? You can ask her, but I believe the word leisure was in it.

Leisure planning, leisure str- I don't know. Yeah, it was leisure. She majored in leisure? She majored in leisure. It's amazing. And she's the only one in our family who uses her major. Exactly. Her education is the only one applicable. It's the most helpful. What is Abby's weirdest quirk?

There's so many. She speaks like she's from the Victorian era. She doesn't even have to do a past life regression. I know from whence she came. Secondly, while I went during stressful times, I tend to have internal repetitive actions that are self soothing, like thoughts that are, you know, that I feel like keeps me safe and hers are outer ones, like movements, things that she starts doing. Like pacing or like?

Things, things that all of a sudden, like during stressful times, you can tell because she's doing like a new physical thing. I've noticed that she'll be like, okay, okay, okay, okay. Or, and she also talks to herself when she's stressed. Yeah, it's a minor, but I, we are equal in like our different coping, soothing mechanisms, but mine are internal and hers are external. We've just figured that out. That's so interesting.

Okay, if Abby could only eat one food for the rest of her life, what would it be? I'm going to say Wagyu. She likes these fancy beefs that I'm not certain about, but she likes fancy beef. They cost $6 million. Besides people and dogs, if there were a fire, what would she say from the house? The wagyu? Well, we do have arguments like that and in a heated manner about what we would go back into the house and say.

Ever since this is us. Lesbians talk a lot. Oh my God, you don't even know. It's exhausting. Again, we cannot just understand each other. We have to overstand. But I know this woman and I know she's a hero. And so after we watched This Is Us,

I have had an ongoing conversation with her about whether or not she's allowed to go back into a burning building to save one of our dogs. It's not an easy conversation. No, it's not. It's a terrible conversation. And I don't even know where we've landed, but it is an ongoing one.

But we said besides people and dogs for that very reason. Okay. Would it be our watches? I'm trying to think if we're not like sentimental people about things. So it's tricky for me. I think I know what she would do. I think she would save Chase's journals. Chase our son has these journals that is are his like most prized possession.

And I think she would save those. What is a hobby Abby has that you don't fully understand? She likes to work out with people that are like yelling at her. Like in the yelly environments where people are yelling. And then I can tell who they are in our community because when we walk by them, they yell at each other, but it's like, I don't know, it's a lot of yelling. If Abby could have any superpower, what would it be? I think she would want to be able to teleport different places quickly because she loves adventure

and traveling, but doesn't like the transportation part because of her long life and having airplanes. So I think she'd just be able to get places without going. You're doing great at this. You're doing the best at this. You think so? You think so? Thank you.

Yeah, you're doing great. How do you decide what to have for dinner? Oh my God, we start in the morning and then all day, we pretend like we're having a nice conversation. What do you want for dinner? So we pretend we're not annoyed that we're having that conversation again. And it starts in the morning and it goes eight hours to nine to 10 hours. And then just like yesterday, we were, Abby looked at me like three and

was like, you know what? She said it in a nice way, like, oh, why don't you decide what we want for dinner today? And I said, don't act like that's a nice thing to say. That's not a nice thing. Oh God, it's just an ever going on conversation that will never end. And then we only end up getting one of three things. What are they? Indian food, Mexican food, those are both ordered. Or we just end up, it's called fend for yourself night.

Which just means good luck everyone. Perfect. What phrase does Abby use too often? Two things. One, every time she has a question she says I have a question. And the redundancy of this is so amazing to me but I can't. Anyway, I have a question. And also the other thing she says before she's saying something that she thinks is important or is important is the truth is. Which never mind, I have no comment. What is something that Abby is always right about?

When we get in an argument, Abby is always the rightest. Okay, because I am right about the particular issue. I am right in a court of law, but I am always wrong in the big picture because the thing is not about that. It's about like loving each other and finding compromise and being kind with each other's hearts, which she is always doing. Which really, when you think about it, is some bullshit. Cause she's always gonna win. Cause she's always taking the high road.

But I am crushing it on the lower road. Right, right. You are right in fact, she is right in spirit. She exactly. Okay. What is something that Abby is seldom right about? On fax? Okay.

What is the weirdest app Abby has on her phone? I don't know if it's weird, but she plays solitaire. I don't believe that there's anybody in the world that has more time on their solitaire situation. Never one time is she like, no matter what she's doing, she's also playing solitaire. It's really impressive. What is one thing that Abby would love to get rid of

if you would let her? I don't think she loves my paintings. The ones you make? Well, she's never gonna say that. So I'm gonna write that down, but what's something that she'd love to get rid of that she'll actually say? You're right, she won't say that. And by the get rid of that she'll actually say? You're right.

She won't say that. And by the way, she's the biggest supporter of my painting in general. Right. She just says like the product. The actual paintings, which I really understand. She doesn't like like knickknacks and clutter at all. She's the stuff. She's like, she picks up a thing and she's like, what is this thing?

And I'm like, I don't actually know, but it's a decorsive ornamental thing. Yeah, and she only allows it because I need a bit of that for coziness, but she would have nothing anywhere. She likes things minimal. Who brought up marriage first? I don't know, but I'm guessing her. Same with that, I love you thing? Yeah.

Okay. It was kind of dovetail. If Abby asks you to please get fast food for dinner, where does she actually want it from? Oh, that's so good. I mean, we love fast food. I think she probably wants Chipotle. Is that fast food? I feel like that's fast food, right?

I feel like it's middle of the road. It's medium, it's medium food. I mean, my kids think it's a restaurant and I'm just like, yeah, that's right. It's medium. I think that's what she would want the most. Although she does like in and out burgers too, but I don't know if she wants Chipotle.

We'll accept both of those. What would Abby say are her best personality characteristics? Oh my God. I mean, she just accept both of those. What would Abby say are her best personality characteristics? Oh my God, I mean, she just has the best personality. I'm trying to think of what she would say. I think that she likes her generosity of spirit and her presentness and her openness and her enthusiasm for life.

I think those are all kind of the same thing, right? Yeah. She's very joy and adventure and open-hearted. Oh, and then she said the other day, she said, I think I like myself, she said. And I said, I like you too. And she said, I'm really starting to like myself. And I said, well, in what way are you thinking?

And she said, I think I see the world in the light most favorable to the world. And I said, that is absolutely correct. She does. She sees the world in a light that favorability that the world doesn't even deserve. And that's why the world loves her. And that's why she ends up living in a better world than we do because she sees it. My God, that's the same way people like her and the world likes her back because she likes the world in an absurd way.

Because people remember how you make them feel and she makes people feel like they're amazing because she really believes they are and then everything is more beautiful for her. Oh my God. Okay, I have four more. Who is Abby's hero? When she was little, I know it was Michael Jordan. Okay. I have four more. Who is Abby's hero?

When she was little, I know it was Michael Jordan. Okay. I don't know who she'd say now. Okay. Which one of you is better at self care? We are both really good at self care. Tied. Tied for first place. I think we're tied for first. And she hates a tie. She likes losing more than a tie. I do know that. It doesn't make any sense to me, but she doesn't like tying.

What story does Abby tell over and over? All of them. There's only like six. And it's comforting to her. And I do need to say one thing about that because this was life changing to me. I didn't understand this years ago. I didn't understand that she knew she was telling the same stories over and over again. So at one point I just said, do you know that like the kids know

that one so they've memorized it? And she said, oh yeah I know, I don't care. I'm not doing it because I think it's new to them. I just enjoy telling these stories. And I thought, oh wow, okay so you can just decide to not even consider the audience and carry on. I thought that was kind of bad ass. Well, also I think it's bigger than that. I think it's like, cause John does that and his entire family does that. And it's just like a rotation of the 20 stories that get told. It's like, it's like, choose your own adventure.

These are one of them. And I think there's kind of a comforting thing. It's like, this is our family culture. This is the stories that we tell. It's like oral tradition in a way of like, this is what I want you to know about us and like the vibe of the fam. I don't know. I think it is. I have grown to appreciate it. At first I was like, I don't know. Are we all just supposed to pretend we haven't heard this? That's what I thought we were doing. I thought we were pretending we hadn't heard it. But do you ever like, because sometimes we'll just be in a situation and somebody will say a word and then I know.

You're like, you just triggered that story. It's like a vending machine. It's like if you just say any of those seven words, you're getting one of those treats. And then sometimes if I just really don't want to do that, I like real quick try to change the subject. Like an eagle. Change the train track so we like miss it. But in general, I think it's a beautiful ritualistic sort of thing. Yeah.

Yeah, it is. Okay. She loves to tell the story about when she was playing beer Pong with Ina Garten at a Taylor Swift concert. She's told it on the pod, but that is one that if anyone says Beer Pong around us or Taylor Swift, which by the way, a lot of people say Taylor Swift a lot of the time. Or Ina or that kid is barefoot. Right, right. Yeah, anything. Anything that will lead all roads lead back to Ina and Taylor and beer pong. If I had that story, I'd tell it every day to every person. It's a good one.

Okay. Last one. Fill in the blank. Abby and I are total opposites when it comes to... Trauma responses. Okay. Amazing. Well, really great job.

Thank you. Thank you. Really great job. Thank you. How are you feeling about her coming back in and giving her take? Curious. I feel really curious. Okay. This is so exciting. Hello, it's Lena Dunham. I host a podcast called The C Word with my dearest friend and historian of bad behavior, Alyssa Bennett. What is up? It's a chat show about women whose society is called crazy.

We're going to be rediscovering the stories of women's society dismissed by calling them mad, sad, or just plain bad. Listen to and follow The C word with Lena Dunham and Alyssa Bennett, available now, wherever you get your podcasts. ["The Little Mermaid"] Can you tell her to come back from her small horse videos? Okay, and I'm switching with her?

No, you're staying to hear her responsive. Okay, okay. Hey, babe. It was so fun, babe. You'm leaving. No, you're staying. To hear her responsive. Oh, staying. Okay, okay. Hey, babe. It was so fun, babe. You're gonna love it, I think. Okay, Abby. Yes.

Here we go, girl. Abby? Yeah? If you were an animal, what would you be? So I think that it would either be like a teddy bear, like a bear, or like a golden retriever dog. Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding! Your wife said golden retriever.

Yay! Yes! Okay, Abby, if you got another dog and you had a hundred percent say over the name of it, what would you name it? This is hard because I know for a fact that I have no say in this. That's correct! Exactly. Your wife's answer was, she wouldn't.

It's so good. But she did say something with an H is what it would be. Well, yeah, maybe because that's what she would want for consistency's sake. Of course. Yeah, I know my place here. Naming is not your real name. It's taking care of the dogs after you get them. That's right. Abby, what is your hidden talent?

I think my hidden talent that I think Glennon probably would say, this feels so weird because I don't even know if this is a talent of mine, but I feel like you would say something about my emotional intelligence. That's sweet. That's not what I said. What did you say? That's good. I said planning joy and adventure and trips.

Yeah, that is good. Planning things that are a good time. Yeah, I'm a good time person. Yes, you are. Do you even think that I'm emotionally intelligent? I do. That'd be funny, she's like, I don't think that. One of the questions later was like,

what is she not good at? She was like, emotional intelligence. Don't worry, I didn't ask that. Okay, who said I love you first? For sure it was me. She said, I don't remember, but I bet it was Abby. Yeah. I don't remember either, but I for sure think it would have been me. Glennon's not. I don't even remember. Have I said it yet? You've said it. Yeah. I love you. She's getting more and more comfortable one of these days. I don't even know. Abby if you had no soccer talent what would have been your dream job? I have a couple. I mean I would have probably been golfer slash FBI agent.

You did? I literally went to college and told them I want to be an FBI agent. And so they brought me to all these like criminal justice classes on my recruiting trip. Did you explain this? And then you were like, and not this. I was like, no. FBI agents have to go to class? Yeah, leisure service management was my major. I was like, she told me that and I was like,

there's no major that has leisure in it. It is, leisure service management. Okay, but service management, it's a little like hospitality for the leisure industry. That's right, yeah, yeah. Like hotels, et cetera, which which, ironically, I spend a shit ton of time doing those things in those places. So the only applicable learning in your family.

Literally, my parents were like leisure service. What are you going to do? And you're like, you're not paying for it. So I'm going to get out of Dutch. I'm gonna be leisurely. I'm gonna figure out how to be one of those FBI agents who doesn't have to go to school. And I never graduated because I was really taking to heart

the leisure part of my... Exactly. I was so good. I got my doctorate and left in a leisurely fashion. Okay. What is your weirdest quirk, Abby? Oh no. Okay, well now, I don't know if this is just current news. I have been informed that my allergies have really been stoking marital fire inside of Glennon.

I'm rubbing my nose a lot and like itching. And it's what she used the word was distracting instead of annoying. And so now my nose is super itchy. So now I'm just like, I like turn away and I do it and it's become a problem I think. And I'm looking into it. I'm looking into like getting allergy shots.

Climate change has really fucked me over. The freeze isn't lasting as long. Did you say all this? She said never. I feel like I'm going to get canceled for controlling your body. I should. No. Also, weirdest quirk turned into like a really self-flagellating situation.

Is that what you said? I said it more general than that. No, you didn't say any of those things. You said, share a Victorian era speech. Okay, but the other thing. Physical and verbal repetitiveness. That's what I was saying. When she's under stress.

It was the nose rubbing? Yes, it's so, I wanted to keep it general because I didn't want to say anything that might hurt your feelings! Wait, she's under stress. It was the nose rubbing? Yes! It's so... I wanted to keep it general because I didn't want to say anything that might hurt your feelings. Oh, that's sweet. But that's what I meant. Like, outer things that are self-soothing.

Yeah. That show up. You were talking about a nose rub? Yeah, it's more intense than you understand. A nose rub and maybe my excessive talking is the other... You said verbal also? Oh, no, no. I added the verbal part.

I thought we were talking about something else. Oh, got it. Take out the verbal. Got it. The repetitive, repetitive movements. She said. Yeah, I think a lot of people have those. I have them.

Like I'd play with these this top all the time. Yeah, listen, pod squatters. Glennon has been dealing with this internally for evidently months. And she's just revealed this to me recently and and she did it very lovingly and kindly, and she's not wrong. She's not wrong. I have some work to do around my physical soothing mechanisms that could be, I'll say it, that is probably really annoying to be next to somebody 24 hours a day going, ehhhh.

Cloud Squatter, she's rubbing her nose in that precious fashion. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click. next to somebody 24 hours a day going... Ehhhhhhhhh. Cloud Squatter, she's rubbing her nose in the face. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click. Nose, nose, nose itch. But I tend to be so irritated by things that are none of my business to be irritated about, so I have been talking to my therapist about this situation for four months.

Okay? And I have not brought it up. That's a mature of you. Yes, I know, because I was like, I need to figure out if this is my problem. But then over time, we realized, my therapist and I, that since it's going on and getting more intense, if it were me, I would wanna know in a loving way

so that I could decide whether this was a conscious thing I wanted to continue or if it's unconscious. Anyway, you see what I'm saying. She's been trying for a while to like clue me in, like your allergies are acting up a lot more than normal, et cetera. And then in classic lesbian fashion, yesterday I was like, gosh, this has been happening for so long and I feel. I feel weird that you haven't brought it to my attention.

She's like, but that's the work I'm trying to do because I'm not trying to police your body and your natural reactions to stuff. So it's a thing that I'm now conscious of. Yeah. And one last thing. We sat down to dinner just two nights ago and I was like, I finally was about, I was gonna do it.

And so I was like, I have to talk to, I was going to do it. And so I was like, I have to talk to you about something. I've been thinking about it for like months. I am so nervous to talk to you about it. And now I need to work on the fact that, because then I said, you're itching your nose. And she was like, what the fuck? I thought you were going to divorce me. I thought we were getting... So now I have to work on doing it, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, in a less extreme fashion. Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

All right, all right. Well, that took us down a road. If you could eat one food for the rest, if you had to only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? Pfft. I feel like what Glennon would say is different than what's true. Okay, give me both.

Maybe. For sure, hot dogs. Pfft. Ha ha ha ha ha. For me. But like, she would say either Chipotle or pizza. Ha ha ha ha. I don't know about food.

Hot dogs! What did you say? I said wagyu or wagu or whatever that is. Oh yeah. That's funny. I think that I'm now deconditioned to eating expensive things. Right.

That's what I said. I said, all I know about it is that it's like a million dollars. Yeah, I love a good wagyu steak. Are you telling me in your heart that if you could eat one food the rest of your life it would be hot dogs? Yes. She loves hot dogs. It's my favorite food in the whole world. Wow. She's from Rochester. Hot dogs are big. It's an upstate New York thing. Oh it is? Yeah. Garbage plates, red hots with cheese and hot sauce and they do a special

hot sauce up there. Look it's not healthy. I don't do it very often, but when I get a hot dog, this body is the happiest it can be. Amazing. Okay. I've learned something. Other than people and dogs, if there were a fire and you could go back and save something, what would it be? Like my most precious thing? I guess precious to you. Yeah. What would Glennon say that I would say? Probably...

She probably would say, like, my medals. Mmm. But for me, what I would definitely save is this ring that my mom gave me that was an heirloom. My grandmother had her wedding ring, had like a bunch of these teeny little tiny diamonds. And when we turned 21, we got three of those diamonds. And so I would save that ring.

Oh, that's so cool. She had it made for you and the three of you. All of us. Yeah. Oh, that's beautiful. Yeah, every single one of us. That's beautiful. What did you say?

I said Chase's journals. That I would save Chase's journals? I would. I don't even... where are they? They're over there. Clearly I was wrong. I think you answered for yourself. Well, I think you should save Chase's journals.

What about... okay. Because like, not her grandmother's ring? Well, no, I'll accept that as well. Okay. What hobby do you have Abby that your wife, Glenna does not really understand? All of them. I mean golfing, surfing. I understand surfing. I mean you understanding, surfing.

I understand surfing. I mean, you understand it, but you don't understand it. I understand it spiritually. Yeah. Crosswords? Although that's wordy. What did you say? I said working out with people who are always like yelling. Nobody's yelling! I feel like they are.

Nobody has ever yelled. Not one time has anybody ever yelled. What you think is yelling is not what I think is yelling. No, nobody even talks at all. I hear that when I walk by that place. Wait, why do you think people are yelling at Glennon if they're not yelling? You've projected on them yelling. Go! No, never once. Never once.

It feels like high energy. Okay, so what happens is, there there's 12 of us in this class, the music's louder. The music is so loud. Because that's- Oh, so the singers are the ones yelling? They are also yelling. I think that the singers are yelling.

Nobody's yelling. And sometimes the trainer will have to like increase the volume of their voice to explain what's happening next. That's what yelling is. 10 seconds. Increasing the volume of their voice to explain what's happening next. Like that's what yelling is. Like 10 seconds. Increasing the volume of your voice. 10 seconds.

Is yelling. Five seconds. Time. They'll say time. Right. Who wants that? Who wants someone yelling at you? Time. Because you have to know what time it is. And when you're done with the exercise.

You don't, actually. You're choosing that. Kind of stressed. Well, clearly we are correct that Glennon does not understand that hobby. Okay. If you could have any superpower, Abby, what would it be? Time travel. Yes.

Yeah, like going from here to there without having to be on a plane. Yeah. That's what I said. Okay. How do you decide what to have for dinner? You two. Oh, I ask Glennon and Glennon asks me.

And then Glennon has an idea and then I take the idea and I run with it. Amazing. What would you say if she said that you start in the morning, both of you discussing it, as if you're having a pleasant conversation and you pretend all day like you're having a little bit of a pleasant conversation, but all day you're trying to figure out and you're ratcheting it up. And then at some point, sometimes you just say, well, I'll let you decide what to have for dinner, Glennon. And then she says, I don't want to know. I don't want that job from you. And then you end up just ordering out or fending for yourselves.

Yes. That, that, that rings true. That actually happened last night. I sometimes try to like do a bait and switch with her that I'm like, oh my gosh, what do you want for dinner? Like it's a gift. Like it's a gift. Like it's a gift. She's like, this isn't a gift. You can't just put a different emphasis on a different syllable and make it seem like a gift. What phrase Abby do you use too often? That witch.

That witch is... What else? What else do I say? Wait, wait, wait. In what context is that witch? Like use it in a sentence. Um, okay. So... you want to try? No, I can't even think of anything. I can't either right now. What's another phrase? What did she say?

I said... Do you have any more that you think... I do. I just can't think of a single one. Okay. The ones I said was every time you have a question, you say, I have a question. Just because you, I believe it's that you want double the time and attention. I want the attention. No, it's like in one second, everyone's got to be focused on me. I'm reclaiming my time. Yes. And then I also said that you say the truth is. The truth is, yeah.

Before. The truth is, yeah. Before. The truth is that which I'm about to speak after I have this question. That's right, that's right. Okay, what, Abby, is something that you are always right about? I don't know what I'm always right about.

I don't feel like I'm right about much in our family. There's so many smart people around. Well, we have established you are not right in fact, but you are right in spirit. Yeah. I said you're always right. That's good. I'm not right in facts, but I am right in spirit.

That is my vibe. Yeah. That is my vibe. I'm gonna take that with me. Yeah, which means that you're always the rightest. That's my vibe. I'm going to take that with me. Thank you. Yeah, which means that you're always the rightest. That's what I think. I think in every argument we're having or thing, you're the rightest because you're

on the biggest plane of intention. And you win the argument. That's right. You win it factually. But I lose it. So I win it. I won. What is it if you win the whole world and lose yourself?

Why do I feel like an asshole? Because I am. Because you are. Yep. Yep. Okay. Book club on Monday. Gym on Tuesday. Date night on Wednesday. Out on the town on Thursday. Quiet night in on Friday. It's good to have a routine and it's good for your eyes too because with regular comprehensive eye exams at Specsavers you'll know just how healthy they are. Visit Specsavers.ca to book your next eye exam. Eye exams provided by independent optometrists. So, what is something that you are seldom right about, Abby?

Most things. I said facts. Facts, yeah. Facts, that's what we said. Yeah, most things. Remembering information. Information. Yeah. Most things. Remembering information. Information. But generally I get it. I'm good about the vibe. Yeah. Yeah. That which is the vibe.

What is the weirdest app that is on your phone? Oh man. I've got a lot of them. What would be the weirdest one that Glennon thinks? Solitaire. That's what I said. Look at us. We're doing good at this. Okay. So I play solitaire. It's my like numb, just check out. And it's so fun. It's just get me out of this life and world for 15 minutes. Solitaire is it. I think that whenever that happens, whenever Glennon sees me on Solitaire, I think that

she has like an internal panic attack because she thinks it is the most uncool. What? Uncool? I'm the least cool person on earth. Why would I care about cool? But like it's the most unintelligent. I think Glennon- I don't think so.

I still hear of course a lot of my intelligence. But the way that... Okay. She one time criticized the way that I played it because I like to go for speed. And so, am I just making this up? No, that's what... That's all this is, the whole thing. There's no like doing it. She's not playing...

She's not... She's going like this. Because they're like auto... Okay. The motion that Glennon's doing is like the getting cash out of your hand motion. It's like as fast as possible. Like making it rain, making it rain. Like, so she's not...

I'm pressing it. No, there's no strategy. It's like she's actually just trying to... Cause it's like on auto, like it can automatically... You play auto solitaire? Kind of, but not really. Yeah. Yeah. I wasn't gonna say anything. But I'm...

But then that's not even playing, that's just being present for it. Correct. I am trying, the whole goal for me... Solitaire is playing something by yourself. What is it when you're not even playing? It's nothing a tear. There's not one person playing, it's nothing. I am trying to get away from my world.

Zero a tear. And it is accomplishing that. And the way that I play my life. So you're watching a program that is playing solitaire. It's like those kids that watch other people play. I am moving it. I am doing it, but I am doing it for speed. I'm a speed solitaire player.

I'm not judging the mindless, cause it's the mindless scroll that I do on the phone. But what I'm just saying is I'm just wondering if we can call it playing solitaire. If you're not like, okay, here I have an eight, the eight goes on the nine. I'm going to put it there. Yeah, but the way that my brain works is that it's done it. I see the red and I'm like, oh, it goes there. And it just automatically does it for me.

Okay. Like I press it on purpose because I see the move. It just does it faster for me. You're gonna end up in the same place anyway. Might as well let them do it. That's your theory. Yeah. People like to have a player piano in their house. It just plays for them.

And so for her, it's like watching a player piano. Yeah, but those people don't say, what are you doing right now? I'm playing piano. They say, I'm listening to my player piano. I'm doing solitaire. That would be a hobby I don't understand. Okay, got it.

All right. So what is something Abby that you would love to get rid of if Glenan would let you? I mean, I think the thing that she would say, but it's not true for me, is I think she would say maybe her painting stuff. But that's not true. But then I said think she would say maybe her painting stuff. That's what I said. But that's not true. But then I said, I don't know if that's true. And so then I said, knickknacks. Oh yeah. God damn it with the knickknacks.

All of our shelves are buried, like buried in knickknacks. They're not buried. There's like five things upstairs. You guys were filled to the brim over here. Nicky knackies. Nicky neck, patty wet. I like space. It makes me feel clean. Who brought up marriage first?

No idea. But for sure I knew that I was going to marry her. I don't know. Do you know? I said I don't know, but I bet it was you. Yeah. Especially like with three kids, you know, it was a little bit more complicated for her. So, yeah.

Yeah. Abby, if you were to ask Glennon to please get fast food for dinner, where do you actually want it from? Oh, Chipotle. Yep. That's what she said. But we didn't know if that was counted as fast food or not. It is. So she also said In-N-Out Burger. Yeah, Glennon's not a huge Chipotle fan. So

whenever Glennon's gone for like a night and nobody's in the house or it's just me and the kids, it's Chipotle all day. Yeah. I get like once every six months. What is your Chipotle order? Yeah. I get like once every six months. What is your Chipotle order? Burrito bowl, burrito bowl, double chicken. Burrito bowl, double chicken, both beans, pico de gallo, cheese, sour cream, no lettuce, and then hot sauce. Now what the hell with that lettuce.

Yeah, just put more beans and chicken on top. Side of chips, side of guac, and then the way that I do it is you take a chip, you dip it in the bowl, you put a little guac on top. Because guac all over the thing, this doesn't feel right to me. Yeah. The problem is when we eat Chipotle, I'm the only one who has this chip thing.

I'm the only one that ordered his chips. Oh, and everybody wants a chip? Everybody believes that it's a family chip bag. It's not a family chip bag. I have to actually tear. I have a whole system which pull it. I tear the bag and I put the bag next to me. And then I just see the hand.

Like on the chair? On the chair next to you? No, I just put them next to my bowl. As if like these two are partners. It's a private servant. Yeah, it's private. And then I just see them. And then sometimes kids will go,

can I have a chip? And I'm like, yes. Begrudgingly. Yeah. So the entire Brita Bowl is eaten through the vehicle of the chip? Mostly. Sometimes I run out.

Sometimes I run out when chips are now delegated to other humans. Run out. And then I gotta, I gotta like... Actually use a fork. Use a fork, but like sometimes I'll do the fork in between and I see the chips are running low. It's a whole system. Yep. Yep, yep, yep. Got you. Okay. What would you say are your best personality characteristics? I'd say one of them is I'm pretty easy going.

I like to have fun. I'm pretty like dependable, like stable. What'd you say? I said that your generosity of spirit and presentness and the way you look at people in the world, that you see the world in the light most favorable to it and Other people in the light most favorable So since you have such a beautiful opinion of the world and other people

Other people in the world tend to be beautiful to you and then you end up having a more beautiful life than the average bear Well, that's so sweet. And thank you. She also said emotional intelligence I know I know, I know. Who is your hero, Abby? Well, I had different heroes at different stages of my life. Okay. What were your early? When I was really young, it was a woman.

Oh, Sheila Doyle. Shit. Yeah, Sheila Doyle. Sheila Doyle. I forgot about her. Sheila Doyle. She picked Sheila as her confirmation name because she was so obsessed with Sheila Doyle, who was an... Sheila is not a common confirmation name.

Well, Abby didn't ask what was common. Mary Abigail Sheila Wambach. Because she was like an older girl in the neighborhood who was an athlete and Abby thought she was the coolest. Yeah, she was the daughter of one of my parents' best friends. And my sisters were also my heroes growing up. My sisters, Beth and Laura. And then as I got older, it was like Mia Ham,

Michelle Akers, and soccer. And then, I don't know, who the heck did you say? I picked the one that you always tell me was your hero, which was somebody from a different sport than you. Who? Well, I think his number was 23. Oh Michael Jordan? Yeah. Yeah he was like back in the day there were no like women professional, very few on television at all. So like Michael Jordan was like it. Like the way that I practiced I like tried to imitate him and his fierceness.

You like Mike? Yeah. And honestly, when the want to be, want to be, want to be like Mike commercials came out and then Mia was in. You're like, I do. I do. Yeah. I definitely.

Oh yeah. Mia was in them. Yeah. She was in one. Weren't you in one with him and Mia? No. There was one later with the golf and then she's hitting the. Yeah.

I think you were in one. Oh yeah, I guess I was. I was. It was a Gatorade commercial, yeah. So that's kind of cool that he was your hero, you were looking at him on TV, and then you were in a commercial with him later. Yeah. I mean, good work. That happens to most people.

Most people end up in commercials with their childhood heroes. Yes, and then don't remember. I'm wondering about Sheila right now. What's she up to? I don't know. Which one of you is better at self care? Glennon. Why did you say that?

I think because I do employ a lot of self care mechanisms. I do sauna, I do cold plunge, I work out, I do PEMF mat, I do red lights. But I think that Glennon has established a baseline of like, that's what we do here. And I'm so grateful to that. So I give her the credit for starting me into the becoming really like self-care.

Would you say that like, you would be like tied? Maybe. I think that Glennon is good at doing self-care things that don't require any other devices. I'm good at like buying the things. Yes, yes! You're an excessor, heavily accessorized self-care. Yeah, like I, I'm not gonna just do yoga on a mat.

Like that's never gonna be me. You're gonna have a studio. I need to have a thing that helps me with the, I need the thing to basically do the self care for me. You needed the solitaire version of your- Well, I think we- Because it's different, like, when we have different ideas of self care,

like, what's the forward-facing self? Like, it makes sense that your self care would be physical things. My self care is more like emotional, mental, right? Like, they're different, and that requires like a lot of meetings and then books and yours requires a lot of devices. We are trying to come to the same end.

I think we're coming to the same end, but we're using the forces differently. I know that if I take care of my physical being, that I am making the whole thing. I am taking care of my emotional and my mental wellness that way. That's how my body works. It's how my being works. And I think if you take care of your emotional through the intelligence factor, then the physical form feels better. Nicole Zwaard Your wife said that she thinks that you'd be tied for both first place because you're

both a very good at self care. But she also said that you would prefer to lose than to tie so that you wouldn't lose. That's right. I would never say tie. Tying is worse than everything. Yeah. Ew. That's right.

We have two more. What story, Abby, do you tell over and over? All of them. That's what I said! That's what she said. I'm just a repeater. Fill in the blank. Glennon and I are total opposites when it comes to... Cleanliness?

Ha ha ha ha! Well, maybe it's the same same. Yeah, what did you say? She said trauma responses. But maybe your cleanliness are both trauma responses. Yeah. Okay. So what do you mean? Oh shit.

We're going to have to wrap this up. This has been a really nice conversation. We had learned a lot. Yes. Come back and I get to answer and then... We really did great. I feel like, do we have like a score? Because I like to do. Yes, you won.

We won. Well, no, no, it does not winning. It. We won, babe. No, I'm going to come back. Oh, oh, oh. And do the questions. And then we have to compare the scoring.

I will figure out a way to score you so that somebody wins. Okay. But right now y'all are winning. Together. Cause this is all we've done. We tied with winning. Tied at first place with winning. Together as a unit.

Thank you for doing that. That was fun. I learned a lot about both of you. So fun. And I love you and good job, everyone. Yay. I think you are officially still newlyweds because you still know shit about each other, which I find incredibly impressive after this long.

Well, I think that when we come back, will this be a second episode when we come back? Yeah, we'll do another one. Okay, so then here we go. You got to close this out. Okay, love bugs. We adore you. Thank you for listening to that.

I'm not sure what you got out of it, but I hope you got something. And we will see you back next time. And I guess Abby, you'll answer questions about me. Can't wait. Okay, good luck doing as good as I did. Bye. See you next time.

Bye. Bye. If this podcast means something to you, it would mean so much to us. If you'd be willing to take 30 seconds to do these three things. First, can you please follow or subscribe to We Can Do Hard Things? Following the pod helps you because you'll never miss an episode and it helps us because you'll never miss an episode.

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We Can Do Hard Things is created and hosted by Glennon Doyle, Abbie Wambach, and Amanda Doyle in partnership with Odyssey. Our executive producer is Jenna Wise-Burman, and this show is produced by Lauren Legrasso, Alison Schott, and Bill Schultz. You