We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle - We’re On Some New Sh*t: 2023

Episode Date: January 5, 2023

Glennon, Abby, and Amanda each share a No they are leaving behind – and a new Yes they’re bringing into their lives this year. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to We Can Do Heart Thames. Behold, Pad Squad, we are doing a new thing. A new thing. It is a new year. What's a new thing. A new thing. It is a new year. What's a new thing? Well, for those who were listening to the doozy of an episode on Tuesday, what we ended it with was this idea that we're just going to try to do a new thing in our lives this year. And so what we're thinking about today is not so much resolutions because it just feels hard.

Resolving? I don't know where you're saying me. New years say me. Good news and bad news every year. Yeah. And so resolving just feels so committed and so aggressive to resolve to do something so we're not resolving. We're just considering what we want to let go of. And a new idea we might consider integrating into our lives this year. So an old idea we're letting go of. And a new idea we're

considering. All right, we're going to talk to you today, Dearest Beloved Pod Squad about what each of the three of us is letting go of and letting in to our lives this year. And also let us know what y'all are. Yes. What are your new things? What are your tired things? You're letting go of what are your tired things you're letting go of and what are your new Jazzy things you're thinking of it's seven for seven 200

Five three zero seven and maybe one of my new things is gonna be Working jazzy jazzy Yeah, I was just thinking about like the vibe is the Taylor Swift line of I'm on some new shit. Like we're just trying to be on some new shit this year. Oh my gosh, we were driving yesterday and Alice go my eight year old Alice. Some new shit. And I was like, Oh, okay, that's what we'll do then.

Some new shit. Yeah, excuse me. What did you say? I's what we'll do then. Some new shit. Yeah, excuse me, what did you say? I thought I missed her and she said some new shit. She's just fine. Go ahead and play it then as long as it's, you know, as long as it's her kindness. And she's doing it. We're allowed to directly quote.

I mean, what I love about that line is I want some new shit is because it makes me think of a woman who's just acting differently, who's just like clearly let go of some burdensome thinking, and is acting different. And then somebody says, what's up with you? Because you're just acting different. You're just like lighter or freer or have more swagger,

and then you're like, well, I'm on some new shit. Mm-hmm. Yeah, right? Yeah. So I love it too because it acknowledges that like, we're all on something. Some shit or some new shit. We are all on drugs and the drug is what your thinking is.

That's it. Exactly. The tracks you have in your brain of the way we see the world are what we're on. And so we're just trying to be on some new shit in 2013. Well, why do you all think it don't think about what has happened and we don't think about what we want to manifest into our life. And so we just are like in the middle. So what do you think about that? comes from over identifying with our thoughts. We either fail to acknowledge that our feelings are a result of our thought. So we think I am bad. I just feel my relationship is bad.

Maybe a relationship is bad. Yeah, I give you that. Maybe you should try some new stuff. So if I start getting down on myself, I could say to myself, my mom's mold shit. Yeah. You know, I can isolate that what is happening is a result of the same thinking patterns, the result of the same shit that I always had done.

Yes. And then, that gives you some agency over it. Because you can be like, hmm, how's that working? Yeah. So, well, okay, let's get some new shit. You know, so it's just, if not, we just think, oh, were these immutable, unchanging, always gonna be like this people?

And then you have no agency. Then it's just like, womp, womp, always has been always will be. Yeah. Yeah, it's like understanding that we're all just computers that are programmed a certain way. And it's like taking out a disc and putting in a new disc and being like, all right.

There's no disc anymore. There's no disc anymore. There's no disc anymore. What is it now? What is it for real? There's VHSs now. Okay. But like seriously, what do people put in their computer so that there are no slots?

Are you being serious? There are no slots in computers. It just files that live out in the computer. Okay. We have to climb some new shit. Yeah, we are. Okay. But so this is going to be like a thought experiment.

You're going to have with yourself. Exactly. Not a doing experiment. It's like a thought. No, no, no, no, no, we don't do. That's like resolving. We don't do. We are considering thinking differently.

Good. That's like, this is a thought. Oh, no, that's a no. No, we don't do. That's like resolving. We don't do. We are considering thinking differently. Good. That's all. Okay. So it's like Homer Simpson.

We can't promise to try. But we can try to try. And whatever we do try will be something that if I'm sitting on a couch, I'm doing it. Yes. You can't even tell whether I'm doing it or not. That's right. All right. It's possible. I'm doing it or not. That's right. All right? It's possible. I'm laying in the bathtub thinking and that is fulfilling my New Year's resolution to

myself. Okay? That's exactly right. It's good. No one can prove otherwise. The idea is if you are someone who's been taught through your life that you can't trust anyone. And so your thought in your head is people cannot be trusted.

And of course that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Maybe that's some old shit. And maybe just for a little bit, you're like, I'm gonna try being like an idiot who thinks people can be trusted. Like clearly that's not true, right? But what if I just acted ridiculous and thought everyone can be trusted?

And I had that thought and went through my life for a week that that is true. So fun. It's easy for me to tell the story because I actually did this. I was like, okay, all right, just to test this whole thought thing, I'm just gonna pretend people can be trusted. That shit works.

Yeah. Okay, everyone was suddenly so trustworthy, I could not believe it. But because you seek and you shall find whatever you look for is what you find. One person who couldn't be trusted almost brought the whole house down. Well, they did.

I stopped the experiment, but it worked for a while. And there's a scientific name for that. It's not woo-woo, it's confirmation bias. Right. We have a tendency to find the stuff that confirms what we think and believe. So that's just well documented situation. Right, so your scientific explanation

is my spiritual, scriptural, is seeking you shall find. I'm Jonathan M. Hevar. I'm a podcast producer and someone who likes fancy things. But I grew up working class. My parents were immigrants with factory jobs. And because of that, I think about class a lot. And I want to talk about it. That's what we're doing on my new podcast, Classy.

And what did you all eat? You know, trailer food. Shh. Ha, ha, ha. I was like, girl, we're not doing that anymore. Ha, ha. You'll hear from people who told me awkward, embarrassing, and strangely intimate things about what class means to them.

She said, you know, for the house cleaner, I hide the tag on the $6 bread. And I just thought, don't you think she knows that you're wealthy? You're hiding the tags from yourself. Classy. A new podcast from Pineapple Street Studios. Available now. Wherever you get your podcasts. What's some old shit you're considering letting go of and what some new shit that you're considering trying? Okay, so I think that mine is a result of merging of learnings from our conversations with Dr. Becky Kennedy about attachment as well as her work on deeply feeling kids and the stuff that I've so excited about. But I think I've realized that so much of my mental energy and anxiety is going to how I can support my son, Bobby, in his emotional dysregulation

and his neurodiversity challenges. So how I can prepare him to be able to navigate life successfully. And that means that so many of my interactions with him are actually coming from my own anxiety that he won't be able to do that. And my shame that his father and I have failed to equip him to be able to do that. my shame that his father and I have failed to equip him to be able to do that. So even though it's all coming from this place of love, the interactions between he and I are largely centering on my anxiety and shame. Can you give us an example?

He will have an outburst at home about something that's super frustrating to him. I will see it as not commensurate with the severity of the minor inconvenience to him. Instead of reacting to his feelings, I am now reacting to my own anxiety of how the hell is this kid gonna navigate life if he can't even deal with this minor inconvenience and how have we failed to help him get to a place where this isn't happening all the time.

And so I'm completely missing him. Like everything is centering on my anxiety and shame that he isn't okay. And ironically, what I think that I've realized is that most of his outbursts and struggles are a way of him asking me, am I okay? Are my feelings too much for this world for you? Because I, Bobby, I'm afraid of them, and I'm afraid you're afraid of them too.

And the truth is that I have been. And so my new shit that I have started and that I'm going to resolve to do every day because it's hard and I think I'm going to have to re-resolve myself to do it is to start with first things first, which is to focus my energy in mind on not how his coaches or his teachers or his peers view him, but how he views him and how I view him. And I'm going to just really try to radically love him just exactly as he is and stop trying to make him okay. And do my best to make sure he's okay with exactly who he is. So that I can love him exactly as he is and I can try to model for him to do that too. And so I think my shift is instead of using my love to help him, I'm going to use my love to love him. Oh my gosh. How is it manifested now? Like you've been doing this, you said for a little bit, how has it been going? Like what are he's maybe having like a mis-regulated moment?

How are you now interacting with him in the moment? That's different. I think I'm taking down my amptuptness because my amptuptness is about, oh my God, what does this mean? Oh my God, is he doing this at school? Is he doing this in his practices? What do I need to do to teach him to help him to not be doing this anymore?

So I'm not even with him in the moment. So, and I'm at a 10, granted, he's at a fucking 12. For sure. Like, I am now matching his anxiety because my anxiety is less about, I have a kid who's freaking out, and more about, I am now matching his anxiety because my anxiety is less about I have a kid who's freaking out and more about I am freaking out because I have a kid who's freaking out. And so just being with him and I'm actually learning this from Dr. Becky, but I'm actually saying like I'm not afraid of your feelings. I'm not scared of you or your feelings.

I'm just going to be here. Through this. Oh, Cissy. It's beautiful. And so I, I just going to try to use my love to love him, which I think is maybe the help he's needed all along. I have two questions for you. Yes. The first one is you said, I'm worried that he's not okay or he's worried that he's not okay, all the okay. What does okay mean? Like, when you're thinking we all want each other to be okay. Am I okay? Are you okay?

Is she okay? Is my kid okay? Like, what does that mean to you? My most generous version to myself is, is he gonna struggle real hard through life? Is he gonna struggle through conflicts with coaches and teachers and friends? Is he gonna lose friends because of his big reaction? Is he going to all those things? And then my least generous version to myself is, is he going to be seen

as a kid who is not respectful is not having a shit together. I think, if I'm being super honest with myself, I wish that the letter were not true, but I think that I've been focused too much on those forward things instead of really connecting with him. The behaviors are going to be their behaviors no matter what. Like I need for myself and for him to get into a direct relationship and I feel really, really hopeful and excited that like all the rest of it be damned, I got to make sure that he and I are connecting and that I can feel his love and he can feel mine and that I can see him. I need to know what's there that he's afraid of because it's also what is the beauty of him.

I mean, we were, my God, we watched this documentary on coach Dean Smith, who is a national damn treasure. It's this human that embodied respect and honor and decency and connection with people and all the things that I am so desperately afraid that he won't have in life. And we get to the end of it and our whole film is like, that was beautiful. He is bawling. No. Bowling. Because he actually does feel everything more than any of us do.

And we're so afraid he's missing all of it. But it's actually because he feels all of it, that he's having these struggles. And I'm like, I want to know that kid, that kid who feels all of that so much, I want to be friends with that person. I want to know what you know, that moves you that much.

And I'm not knowing what he knows because I'm trying to manage him. Because you're having a relationship with the version of him that you think he could be. And then you're mad at him for not being that thing. And you're saying, I want to look at him and love him for who he is actually. I'm having a relationship with his behaviors. Mm-hmm. And I'm not having a relationship with his feelings. Yeah. And I think something that you should know about a guy like Dean Smith

is this guy didn't become the honorable, well respected person. He is without figuring out the world. And, you know, I think Bobby probably got had such an emotional reaction because maybe he doesn't know that he can be that too, that guy like Dean Smith in a lot of ways is super in touch with themselves to be honorable, to have leadership. You have to be able to embody all of the human emotions, to be able to understand what people are going through.

So it's like, body sees this vision of this person that you would love to be. And all you need to do is just keep telling him to trust himself, to keep telling him that like these feelings are normal. I just, I just love this so much for you and for Bobby, because in the end, all we have is each other. It doesn't matter what the fuck he becomes. Like, the love you have with Bobby is the thing that will stand the, the test of time. Because it's also just this idea of okay, I think it's ruining everything.

It's like, what does okay mean? Okay is always something that we're not quite yet, but that if we just apply enough control, we might be one day. And it's also something that is entirely subjecturnally provided. Exactly. Like people tell us if we're okay. People tell us if our kids are okay.

Oh, don't worry. I'll find out at the parent teacher conference if he's okay. I'll find out at his five before meeting if he's okay. I'm just not interested in that. I'm interested in all of that information as data and ways that I can help my kid navigate in the world. I'm no longer interested in that to find out if he's okay. Yes, because I'm interested in hearing from him if he's okay. Yeah. Yeah, and like, I'm just going to just double down on idea that, okay, maybe is nothing, that it's like,

is Glen and okay? I don't know. I'm sure she's still Glen and. Glen and just is. Glen and just is. Glen and just is. Glen and just is. Yeah.

He's Bobby just is. Bobby just is. And I know him. Like, yeah, and I think, I think by okay, if he is okay with him, I think it's like, is he not scared of himself? Oh, well, good luck with that. I mean, seriously, is that really your goal that he will not be scared of himself? I feel scared of myself.

Me too. Scared shitless. I don't, that's what I'm trying to say. I don't know if there's any goal. I just love the idea of letting go of the idea that there is a goal, other than what you're saying, which is let me know you and let me be here with you.

Because like, what's your definition of love? You're saying I just wanna love him with my love. What is that? I want to meet him where he is. I want to delight in him. I want to see when I look at him the best version of him, and I want to reflect that back to him. So hard as parents.

Yeah, that's it. To do that. It's so hard. It's so good. Not to get stuck in the bettering them down the road mindset. Yeah, because you get stuck in your job. Like I view my job and, you know, part to be totally honest is

preparing and helping them and not setting them out. Like good fucking luck, Charlie. You know, but I just realized I jumped a step. Like there's no preparing him for the world unless I'm helping him to be inside of him. Yeah, exactly. And oh well, if we like are too good to them, and we accept them too much for who they are,

it reminds me of when Jenna Hatmaker said, you know, my dad spent my whole life telling me I was excellent. And then I got knocked to the world and I found out I'm just medium. Okay. Like, it's better than the reverse. That's because if you think you're just shit,

the rest of the world can tell you you're excellent forever and you don't believe in any way. And by the way, if your family tells you you're Perfect and beautiful and then you cook the rest of the world can tell you your shit and you won't believe them Yeah, exactly just be like that world is so confused. Good job, Sissy. I love it What about you babe? What about me, oof. Well, I've been thinking about this because, you know, end of the year beginning of the year, we as a family, we always consider what has happened and we write our intentions for now 2023.

Do you really do that as a whole family? No, we do it as a couple. Oh, I was like, God damn it. She's my family. Our kids would be like F you. Right. My next thing, the thing I'm breathing life into, I'm breathing into next year, this year, is this idea of flexibility.

Now, this might sound weird at first, but for my whole professional athletic career, I decided to be strong because I was bigger than most other women athletes. I was able to use that as a source of strength to, you know, overpower other teams to score goals, to win games and whatever. To that was your advantage. You're like, strength is my thing. I am doubling down on that. That's my main bet.

Yeah. Double down on it, triple down on it. And what that did was it created a big imbalance inside of me. Now, back in the day, strength and flexibility. As a pro athlete, you want to have both. You want to have this balance of both strength and flexibility. But I put so much emphasis because this was the thing that was going to give me that advantage.

I put so much more emphasis on power and strength than I did my actual physical flexibility. So for the last couple of weeks, I have been doing a flexibility challenge trying to open up my hips. So every day, I hold these poses for like five minutes. It's very brutal because I have never in my entire life focused any energy on my body's flexibility. Now what's been fascinating over the last few weeks is I've been learning quite a bit

about what we store in our hips. Sadness. In terms of... Hips show lie. Yeah, exactly. It's not that they will make you cry this hips. And it's gotten me to think a lot about flexibility in general in my life. So not just with my physical body, but my emotional and spiritual body.

Tell them what happens if we say we get to a drive-thru and then the drive-thru is closed. Like tell them what happens if something changes. Yeah. I don't handle it well. I have what happens? What happens? I have. Well, first of all, it's very loaded. So when we agree to be able to go to a drive-through and get fast food,

yeah, I was going to say not often, doesn't this happen? Never does this happen. So when we agree and then said drive-through is closed or the line is like 50 cars deep, we decide we're not gonna do said fast food anymore and just go home and make grilled cheese. Oh, and then it's gonna be another like six months before you get a try. That's right, we're gonna.

So a lot of things are happening, but I think overall, my brain reads this like altering of what was supposed to be this change of course. And I go into I get triggered and I become dare I say an asshole. I get short I get upset so much so that you know this one decided we were just going to drive home and have grilled cheeses. And I said I'm'm dropping you off. And I'm going to drop to solid at home and left us. She said in the fire. I know I did think it was kind of good, like taking care of her own needs. It's very good. First of all, I was way too upset about she was really

upset. I was way too upset. So the whole reason why I'm telling this story is I feel, and it might not necessarily appear on the outside, but on the inside when things change or inefficiencies happen or something breaks in my house, what happens on my insides is really upset frustration. Tense, clenching, clenching, and then I, you know, I project all of that negative energy around me.

And I think when this circumstance happens, we could classify me as somebody that is inflexible. So, see where you're going Abby. So, what I am leaving behind is inflexibility. And what I am breathing into, what I'm looking at for this new year, is not just in body, but in also my mind, because I believe that my mind sometimes creates a bad taste for my spirit to experience the feelings. Because I do think it's about training myself to be a lot more flexible. Yeah.

You know, and when kids leave stuff in the sink and leave the upstairs a little bit of a mess at night, and so we come up to it, I don't think it's never happened. I don't have to internalize it. Always gonna happen. I'm not gonna internalize it anymore as a sign of disrespect. I'm going to think, oh wow, look, they're living lovingly and out loud

and they feel safe and comfortable in our house. And I remember what it was like to be 14 and 16. And I remember leaving shit all over my fucking house. I'm so sorry, mom, that I did that. Listen to what Abby says. This is what she said to me in all seriousness, just two days ago. She said, do you know what I live for? And I said, what do you live for?

And she said, I live for the day when these children have their own house. And I'm going to come to their house. And I'm gonna come to their house and I'm gonna fuck everything up Open up all the cabinets. I'm gonna throw my shoes everywhere. I'm gonna take their clothes I'm gonna go in the closet. I'm gonna take their clothes. Yeah, I'm and she was dead serious I'm gonna throw my shoes around and take their money. I'm gonna hide their remotes. You know what else I'm gonna do I'm gonna leave shit in the sink. I'm gonna hide their remotes. You know what else I'm gonna do? I'm gonna leave shit in the sink. I'm gonna leave little wrappers everywhere. They're undone cups. You know what else we do? We're gonna take 60 cups. I put them in every room. Yeah full of ice

water on all of their wood furnaces. We're gonna take all their clothes that are nicely in the hamper and we're gonna throw them on the floor next to the hamper. Are you also gonna put, are you gonna put leftover lunches just like right under their beds? Yes. That's right. Tupperware, Tupperware, we're gonna line it up in their closets. Just dirty, dirty Tupperware. And she's like, no, you're not.

And I was like, oh, you watch me. I'm gonna fucking do it. And I'm gonna be happy about it. I'm gonna actually sneak in to their homes and do it while they don't know. So how's that peaceful flexibility coming that that? Well, this is down the road. This is like, this is going to be a future self that maybe I'm working on something else. But yeah, so I have an idea too, which is that I see you doing your flexibility stretches while you're watching the soccer. And I know from yoga that when the pain comes from the stretch that we're supposed to like

just breathe into it. So maybe one strategy is when you sense that shift that comes with discomfort which honestly probably comes a lot from being one of seven and you never got to control your own day, right? Everything was always changing and you didn't get to set the, a tinnary of your life. So now when you do, and it changes, it feels out of control. Yeah. But maybe your strategy could be just to breathe deep into that pain until it feels better.

Yeah, I know. It's just, you know, it's so funny how things for me present in the body that also means so much more. And let me tell you, it's not easy to hold these poses. And it is not going to be easy to remember flexibility in the times when things are changing and needing to breathe. And to hold your peace and to be a surfer.

You surf. Well, that's why. You're a surfer. Life is not like brick building. Nothing's that concrete. Everything is wavy and wavy. And so it's just like constantly adjusting. I just, I think that the whole first part of my life was built on being a robot body.

And now with this love of surfing that I've taken on, it's the complete opposite athleticism. You have to be like graceful and flexible, and you have to really move with the element and be in nature and breathe and be flexible out there. Because there's no control. Yeah, there is. There's never, we're never in any control. It's so annoying.

I'm doing good. I'm on some new shit. I'm doing good. I'm on some new shit. I'm doing good. I'm on some new shit. I'm doing good. I'm doing good.

I'm doing good. I'm doing good. I'm doing good. I'm doing good. I'm doing good. I'm doing good. I'm doing good. I'm doing good.

I'm doing good. I'm doing good. I'm doing good. I'm doing good. I'm doing good. I'm doing good. I'm doing good. Well clearly if having heard low-ass episode, you know that my new shit abounds Your cup runnithova with new shit as usual and electrolytes Okay, I have a one idea which I don't know I think it's gonna make sense to everyone. Okay. We'll let you know I I think it's going to make sense to everyone. OK. We'll let you know. I'll be the judge of that. Yeah. So here's an idea that I have lived with for a very long time.

For at least 15 years since I've been doing this job in its iterations and being a mom and being a family person and all the things. OK, I have lived my life in anticipation of something big. And the big thing is like a big interview or a big book deadline or a big speaking event or a big something with which I have convinced myself and other people have contributed to convincing me that that thing, the rest of my life will be dependent on that thing. That my future success, everyone's future success, the whatever hinges on how well I perform in that thing. And to be fair to me, it's usually something scary.

It's like on a stage, I do think that everybody in talking to my friends has this, whether it's a work thing or whatever, that you have these things that you're like, okay, that's what they say, adulthood is just like saying, well soon things will slow down after this week, like forever until you die. You just live in preparation for that big thing,

and then it's over, and you always kind of convinced yourself that when that's over, I'm gonna be okay. Right, and that's when I'll do all the things, that's when I'll start taking care of myself, that's when I'll go on that vacation, that's when I'll, because I just gotta get to that thing. That's when I'll breathe, that's when I'll do all the things. That's when I'll start taking care of myself. That's when I'll go on that vacation. That's when I'll, because I just gotta get to that thing.

That's when I'll breathe. That's when I'll be human, because I live my life in dread of the thing. And dread is what I call it. I don't know, I tend to use negative words in trying to anticipate pitory energy of that thing that makes me unable to be present

because I'm constantly in my head, not here. I'm preparing a mandatory energy of that thing that makes me unable to be present because I'm constantly in my head not here. I'm preparing for that thing. I'm, my nervous system is getting ready for that thing. That has been going on for at least as long as I've been doing this job. But honestly, I remember when I was teaching too. Like, once I get through that big unit, once I get through this school year. But it's nature. That's a human, that's a, I think a way humans live is we, we're living big thing to big things.

Yeah, but I don't, the result of this situation of living this way is that I am never living. I am never in the moment. I am never here now. All the people I'm with are just like, actually, there are problems. Because I'm in my head trying to prepare for that thing.

Like yeah, I'm, everything is, nothing's here now that's good enough. It's all just, I'm scared, I have to be scared until that thing and then I'll relax. And then the interesting thing is, during the big thing, so the preparatory time beforehand is shit. The thing is shit. I always perform it well, but I'm not really there. Anxiety-wise, it's shit. Anxiety-wise, it's shit.

I'm like nervous and whatever, go to the thing. And then I think, this is the moment I've been waiting for and it'll be over and then I'll finally be happy. And that never works. Every time something big happens and it's done and it's dusted and I'm like, waiting for all the joy. And then there's this double let down. It's because when you've promised yourself

that you will be okay when that mountain top comes and then the mountain top comes and you're not okay, you're triply scared because you think, now, I'll never be happy because I promised myself that was the thing that was going to make me happy. So, through my thinking over the last couple months and my therapist, I have started to consider and actually live into this idea, this new shit, that nothing is more or less important than anything else. Nothing. Okay. Oh, recording a big pod, not more important or more scary or more on the line than the walk that I take by myself beforehand.

An interview that I do with a big magazine, not any more important than the ride that I have with Emma from school to home. Nothing less important, nothing more important. Every single thing that I do, just equal presence. It is fucking working. And I'm keeping it. If you call me today, are we having a meeting and you say, well, in two weeks we're going to have to interview the Pope.

I mean, first of all, I'd have some fucking questions. Also, bad example. Okay, be on, say, I'd have some fucking questions. Also, also a bad example. Okay, be on, say, I don't know. I would tell you right now, amazing. And that will have the exact same level of significance, which to me is like, holy, I'm not saying it's unimportant. But I will not work myself up about it any more than I would work myself up about dinner tonight with my family. No more

anxiety for that thing than I would have for whatever I'm doing next today. Sounds like you've adjusted priority in your brain. Yeah, the way things are organized Like what is the most important because I think some of us I know that you live with anxiety, but some of us Make something bigger because we put more value in it or we do believe that it's gonna bring us more joy or if when that is over I will have now achieved okayness. But that is a revolutionary thought that no one thing is more important than another. Yeah, I think it's the opposite of prioritization because it's basically because then that's still, then that still puts one thing in front of the other and you're having to do that mental

gymnastics of wait, is this dinner more important than I've won on one with my kid? Does this more important? But it's just like a spiritual practice of agnostic prioritization. That's right. No prioritization. Yeah, yeah. Everything is holy, amazing. Just the only priority being in my body and being present for what's in front of me.

And when you think about it, that's actually from a just practicality perspective. If you were a betting person, you would actually do better to do your approach. you would actually do better to do your approach. Because if you're doing any kind of ranking order of what's important in your life or not, you might find out at the close of business that you were wrong about your success. That's right. Well, that's what I suspect.

And then you'll get it, you will never get it back. That's right. And when I think about like the level of presence and attention that I want to have just with my, you know, in the morning when I have my little coffee and my poetry and haddy and honey and my little window seat, like, that's the good shit. And also it's helping me shift how I feel about work. You know, I've talked before about how I'm always saying I have to quit. Like I can't do this. And it's helping me shift how I feel about work. You know, I've talked before about how I'm always saying, I have to quit, like I can't do this. And it's because who wants to live that way,

who wants to live holding their breath and only breathing once in a while. I just think, you know, our moments with ourselves and our friends and our family are, there's just no level of importance. And it's so interesting because Tish actually mentioned last night to you, you just seem more grounded. Yeah, she said that.

And I think that that must be such a reaffirming thing to hear from one of your kids. And I interpret it as like, you're here. Yeah, you're here. You're here. And I feel you and it's just really awesome to watch it all happen and unfold in front of my face. Yeah, and it will, you know, it'll come back. It'll always comes back. But like the touch tree of, you know, these new ideas, I was walking on the

on the beach yesterday morning. And I there were like these tire trucks because the lifeguards ride their little trucks in the morning. And the wave came up and the whole wave curved into the two tracks, right, of the tires. And it made me think of how our reactions go into the neural pathways that are tread, you know, the water, it goes into the path that is most tread,

which is the thought that we've had for most long. Like, if you make a mistake and you go, I mean, idiot, you're gonna automatically go there. If that's where you've been going for so long, it's like turning a freighter to like, change a neural pathway. So I expect that it'll take me all year to actually retrain my brain to think, nope.

Nothing more or less important than the next thing. Nothing more important than that. I will have to come back to treading that new path so that the water goes there and it will be an effort for all of us with our new shit. But we're going to try it. And if that way of thinking that Glenin just mentioned resonates with you of like, oh, not living in the moment, but living in preparation of the thing ahead and planning for the thing ahead, you should go back and listen to episode 56 that we did with Kate Boehler, and we talked a lot about that horizon living and how I was talking about how I spent my life in horizon living. So if you want to hear more of that, go listen to that. It was great conversation. And tell us y'all what is your new shit gonna be? New ideas.

New ideas you're considering trying out while you're sitting on the couch. Okay. What are you letting go of? Yeah, read the number, babe. Okay. 747 200 5307. And you all, we love you so much. And if you want us to use yours, you got to stay under two minutes. Although we do love the people who call, talk, hang up because it cuts them off. Call that. Keep talking. Get cut off.

Call that. Keep talking. So we look. Call that, keep talking. So we look forward to hearing from you. We will catch you back here next week. We love you, Pod Squad. Bye. Bye. I'm doing good.

I'm on some new shit. [♪ Music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, is produced in partnership with Cadence 13 Studios. Be sure to rate, review, and follow the show on Apple Podcasts, Odyssey, or wherever you get your podcasts, especially be sure to rate and review the podcast if you really liked it. If you didn't, don't worry about it. It's fine.