We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle - Your Hilarious (& Heartwarming) Holiday Stories! (Encore)

Episode Date: November 23, 2023

Glennon, Abby, Amanda and the Pod Squad share their most brutiful and hilarious holiday stories. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to We Can Do Hard Things, Pod Squad, as we begin the most time of the year. Today, we bring you one of our favorite episodes featuring your most hilarious and heartwarming holiday stories. So we are just so deeply grateful that you spend your time with us this week and that you call us with your stories that make us laugh till we pee. This pad is absolutely co-created with you. So thank you for sharing your hearts and minds with us this year. We love you. Reminder for this holiday season. Don't forget to ask yourself what do I want from these holidays and then make some time and space for that. We love you, Potsquat. Joy to the world, welcome back kids. It's holiday season. It's holiday season.

Welcome back to the show. We can do hard things. Wow. Wow. The Abbey sounds like an 80s disc jockey. Let's get ready to rumble. Here we are with the top 40. Oh man, I love your top 40.

Everyone set your tape recorders, pressing play and record at the same time. Oh yes, you can. Can you case your tape tone? Remember, case your case. Of course we do. We do. Yeah.

And do you remember you'd have to wait to hear your favorite song? I used to wait and listen and listen for Running just as fast as we can Holding onto one another's hand Trying to get away into the night and then you put your arms around me and we tumble to the ground and then you say Okay, okay, and then you have to push play and record, and you'd get that shit.

OK. We are here with you, our favorite people, on this entire, beautiful earth, the Pag Squad, and what we're doing today. We have gathered your beautiful, brutal, hilarious, embarrassing, holiday stories. Oh, yes. And we have lots of strategies to get through stuff,

and that's what we do here. We try to make life a little bit easier by talking about the hard and one of the things that we know that gets us through is absurdity. We are going to be here together. We are going to laugh. We are going to cry. We are going to remember that life isn't really all that serious. And that's our goal for today. It's just laugh together and release. Okay. So, let's tell our stories first. Okay. Actually, you go.

Although my husband just listened, he came home last night, gotten bed and he's like, really with the heart sticker. Really? Wait, what? The embarrassing story with the no underwear of Jordi picture. Oh, John, listen to that one.

Oh, yeah. Anyway, but I don't think I have any holidays, but I'll jump in if you jog the old memory. Well, okay, a mine is actually a little bit, it's not funny, it's sweet. But I was thinking, I was thinking, sister's like, thank you. Wow. Wow. Listen, no's like, thank you. Wow.

Wow. Listen, no one has more embarrassing stories than us. We've actually gotten messages that say, how can Glendon have so many embarrassing stories? And to you, I want to say, well, yeah, exactly. Okay. Exactly. So I, the second Christmas after the divorce, So I, the second Christmas after the divorce. The first one was just really hard for everybody, so we're gonna skip over that one.

We're gonna go to the one after the first one, which was the second Christmas with all of us together. And we were gathering at our house, which had used to be me and Craig's house, because that's how we had to do it during that time. Awkward. Yeah, it was just like, as every family that divorces and then tries to do the things together afterwards,

it's awkward at first. It's a minefield. It's awkward at first, big time. And it's awkward and then it's worse than awkward. It's painful. There's all these weird moments. We have to do things differently. And the kids are looking at you like,

what the hell are we doing? How are we doing this? and then you're like trying to make it seem normal and anyway? so second holiday We're opening presence and I open up the present from Craig to me and The kids are all around and I open it up and it's this thing that Craig has had made at the mall. And it's this ornament and it's six snow people. He had had Craig, Glenin, Abby, Chase, Emma and Tish written on each of the snowmen's scarves.

Sorry. And so I opened it up and the kids were watching and it was just the snow people of our family on one ornament that he had put us all on. And it was just, well, I think one of my top three holiday moments ever because it was just like, oh, this is how we're going to do it. And he gave us that gift of like, here we are. The snow people family, little weird, but we are six now. There's nothing like cutting like a slice of the awkward with this beautiful ornament. I know. I know. I was so touched by that. I know.

Because it was like Craig saying, you're part of our family, Abby, and this is the way we're going to do it. I know. And it gave the kids permission to see us that way. And it gave us all permission to not see us as like, we're this slice and that slice that is kind of, but we're like this one big, snow person family.

I actually think that this is the moment that he made the holidays forevermore, not awkward. Yeah, maybe. It was like this, this like gift that he gave everybody that was like, this is our family and this is how we roll. Yeah. Yes. And also this is our family and I declare it publicly on an ornament on our tree forever. Yes. It wasn't like, this is our family and we'll just kind of roll with that, I guess.

It was like, no, we are, you know, cause is there anything more official about a family than when you get the ornament with that sort of name? That's right. It was pride. It was like, no, we're proud of our snow person family. Right.

Who says you have to be two snow people and 2.5 kids? We are all these snow people and prove that we're not because the mall says we are. Yeah, yes. And you know he had to custom order that because they usually go come with three big snow people. That's really cool. Well, no, no, no, to be clear, my snowperson was a child.

Fake kid. Okay. Well, it was Craig and Abby were the parents. Yes, yeah, yeah. Craig and Abby were the parents, and then I was a child snowperson. This is like a shout out to all of this, quote unquote, step parents, or we call myself a bonus parent.

I think we call them snow people from now on. Snow people, yeah. When we are decorating the tree, yeah. It is really hard when you pull out all of the kids' first ornaments and their second ornaments and all of the family ornaments

that have happened well before I came around. Yeah. And so here is now this moment that I am included in putting my claim and my stake in this family on the tree during the time of which could be really othering or outsideering, you know? So I don't know. I just, there are a few moments like that. Like when you guys start talking about the kids

before I came around, it's like a shot to the heart. Yeah. And so here, I don't know, I just think it's such a beautiful thing that Craig was able to do for me, because he brought me in in all these ways that I'm sure he never even thought of. But it was just, it's so touching. And so.

Craig Melton. Shout out to Craig Melton. I'm sure he never even thought of. Yeah. But it was just, it's so touching. And so Craig Melton, shout out to Craig Melton. I'm sure he doesn't listen to this. The last thing he needs is more of my voice and his ear, but if you are a friend of Craig, tell him we say thank you. Exactly. I just thought of a Christmas ornament story of my own. Oh, Lord, you did. Do you remember when you're talking about gifts of, um, personalized Christmas ornament? I just had a flash of what you're gonna say. I cannot believe

you're gonna tell the past about this. No, shout to the heart because I probably wasn't around. Even when you guys were little kids, I, so I have so much formal. Sweetheart, you're gonna be glad you weren't around for this one. Oh, really? Okay. So, Abby, so when my first husband and I split, it was, we've gone over this, please, see you in the other episode. But the weird thing is I didn't know anything was a mess.

So it was summertime, we had a 10 minute conversation about it it about the infidelity. No, no, the marriage is over. Then another 10 minute conversation, then I never see him again. And I thought it was just, you know, I don't know what the hell I thought it was. We didn't know what it was. But anyway, it was done. I'm stuck with this house that's very underwater. I'm trying to rent it out.

I go to rent it out from at the house, like trying to get it set up. I'm there and this package comes, but it's for a name that is not the correct name. So I'm like, that's weird, but I can't find an address. I just like open it up, see if I can figure it out to send it back. And it, Abby, is a baby's first Christmas ornament with a note congratulating my husband on his new baby. Oh my God, he was pregnant when he broke up with you. It is unclear. I did go at that point when I was like,

what the hell is going on, I looked online and there was a baby registry strongly correlated with a conception. Wow. Before we were divorced. But one cannot know. One cannot know. Seriously, one cannot know. All I'm saying is that Christmas immaculate conception.

I'm sure. Yes. All I'm saying is that that was my first personalized ornament. Didn't go quite as well as yours. I mean, questions answered. It's the most wonderful time I've been here. Sister opened a baby's first Christmas ornament and that is how she found out. Whoopsie daisies.

You know, we've been through it, Sissy. We really have been through it with the marriage situation. You really got really close of getting away with it. You know? I mean, what is knowing gets away with it? And then Aunt, this is what Aunt Bertha

sends a Christmas sort of it. But that was a fun thing. I don't know. How do you feel about it now? Talk to us about now you're 15 Christmases later. I mean, by the way, I remember that day with, I remember standing in my kitchen at the sink and you telling me this story and just the blood rushing from my body, like my brain trying to put together like the puzzle of what had happened. I don't even

remember how we got through that day. I don't know. Not well. Not well. Um, I, you know what, I just feel like, who knows? This is my theory about life. Yeah. No, I still don't know what happened. This is my theory about life. Yeah. No, I still don't know what happened. I still have no idea what happened. I just think it's... Like, I still have the ornament. I put it...

What? Yeah. It's on my fucking tree. No! What? Oh my God! You were such a badass. It's on your tree.

Why? Why do you still have that? Because you know what? I just feel like I feel like compartmentalizing our lives is dangerous. I just don't feel like there's any before or after and there's no like he's bad and I'm good and there's no, even if I could know

whether he was cheating on me and that's why he left and that's why this baby came and that's why who knows what any of it means. It was real in my life and it would remind me of my most brokenness and it's up there with my baby's beautiful faces and the things they made for me. And I just feel like it's like why do we push away those and pretend like that's not all part of the same stew that is who we are. This is the most evolved thing I've ever heard. That is so beautiful.

Beautiful. Wow. The cracks are how the light gets in. And people's wants to crack. Like honestly, I don't know what's a crack. And I try to be open with my kids about it, about like, you know, what happened? And what was that like? And just because it's a very windy path in this life. And there's no like, well, that marriage was fucked up. And this one's great. And you see the trajectory of life.

And now it took that hard walk to get to this beautiful life. Like, yeah. It's just, and then the next step is off the cliff. Right. I think I've come before the fall. It's beautiful and a big fucking mess all at once. Yes, including our tree. And we can't decide what's good.

You know what we thought was good? That wedding day. And it was. But it was. But like, it's that story about the sage and then, and that every time something wonderful happened, the sage would say, it's good news. You won the lottery and he would go, is that so?

Bad news, the lot, all your money means that somebody stole it. Is that so? Good news. Is that so? It's like, we don't know what's good, what's bad, so we throw it all on the tree. Yeah. Sister, that is amazing. I never knew that about you.

I learned something new about you today. I did not know you kept that shit on your tree. That's amazing. That's so bad. That's so bad, ask. It gives me some hope. Baby's first Christmas! of wealth plan to help you reach your wealth's full potential. Visit fidelity.com slash wealth. Investment minimal supply.

Fidelity brokerage services LLC member NYSE SIPC. Do you want to tell a story? Do you want to move on to that plan? I do want to tell a quick story. Oh, hey. Because this has just got to be a big shout out to my mama. Oh, mama, wow. Talk about the hope and the dream of a perfect holiday.

My mom was like, really always and still is. So it is the most important thing to her to have family organized parties and traditions. And so what I'm about to tell you is just like a big apology to my mother because I wasn't the easiest kid. And now being a parent, I understand more than I did as a child,

like most of us do. And so here I was this one year. I think I must have been 10, maybe even younger. I don't know exactly how old I was. But I was going to year, I think I must have been 10, maybe even younger, I don't know exactly how old I was. But I was going to be testing the idea of whether Santa was real or not. Get your kids out of there. If you haven't gotten them out already with all the fucks, please get them out now, because

we're going to have Santa discussion. Yeah, good call. Talking about fucking Santa. Yeah, mute or fast forward. My mom told us all, we need to make a list. And I was like, she tell you to check it twice. I was like, all right, yeah, no problem. I'll make a list.

And she's like, where's your list? And I was like, I'm not going to give it to you. Because if Santa is real, then he will know what my list is. Uh-huh. She was like, okay, got it. because if Santa is real, then he will know what my list is. She was like, okay, got it. But I really didn't make a list because I knew she would find it. Because she's good. Yeah. She's not in that sort of. She's legit. You got it figured out by the time you come to your seventh kid. So fast forward to Christmas morning, sitting around, I've got six brothers and sisters.

It just may have, there's just presence everywhere. And for whatever reason, this year, I had already gotten over Barbie. I was a huge Barbie fan. I had like a house. I had the Corvette. I had a bed you were. And I was switching Ken and Barbie's heads back and forth.

Like, of course, this is not binary thing. Was aren't it? How do I make this work? Yeah. This doesn't look right for some reason. Do I want to play with Barbie? Do I want to play with Ken? Or do I want to be like Ken?

So all of these things, but anyways, this year, I got over Barbie. First President shows up, I get to go, because we go and order from youngest to oldest and then oldest youngest to everybody, get the right turn. And I open the present and I see the color pink Barbie. And I opened it halfway and I was like,

this is a Barbie and I threw it to the side. And I was like, I hate Barbie. Unbeknownst to me at the time, my mom didn't know to get me. So she was like, well, she likes Barbies. I'll just get her all Barbie stuff. Every person to find me. So every single present was Barbie. So every single time I'd open the present halfway,

I'd throw it aside and go, I hate Barbie. Barbie. Oh, you know, and so at this point, my mom's having a total freak out because she knows that every nice six presents also Barbies. So she gets Beth on board. My eldest sister, Beth, she's 11 years older. She's like, go sit next to Abby and open up those presents and get her excited about poor oldest sister and a whole guy. Like they're just trying to make it good and fun for all the youngest. Are you okay? Are you okay? And so here I am having the worst Christmas ever. And this has set the tone for the rest of my life

in terms of being a hard person to shop for. Oh my God. Hates shopping for me because I was an asshole. I had to teach her. She, I kid you not, the first Christmas together. We got her presents. She would open them and be like, I'd be like, thank you. I was like, honey, you act.

Thank you so much. Happy on Christmas. This is great. You act excited. You lie. You do your face. I don't know. Our family's weird that way.

No one else is like that. I don't know. Our family throws it crazy for every sourcing stuff. It's not. Yeah, is that right? I just don't know if that's right either. I think that there might be something in the middle, right?

Like, what is the best present you ever got me? That I responded to the fact. The ice maker. Oh, that's good. The ice maker last year. Yeah. I really wanted that. Yeah.

Yeah. What else? I don't ever remember anything except it was happening right now. Okay. So I'm just saying Abby that I don't ever remember anything except what's happening right now. I'm just saying Abby that I don't know that that taught your mom a lesson. I think it taught you a lesson. Yeah. Like you were trying to be real slick and not write down your list for your mom or for

Sietta and you got a bunch of shit you hate. That's what happened. You wrote a list next year. I probably did. Expectations are resets. I started under construction. You did not share what you wanted. And when we don't share what we want,

we get barbies. Fucking barbies. Before we end the story, mom, I'm very sorry. And I've set my whole life up for tough times in the present daily business because of this. And I can't help it. I can't fake it. I can't fake it.

I've decided to love about you. If somebody gives me something that I'm never gonna use, like the kids, they gave me some stuff last year that, Oh, I know, you showed how you felt. I just, it wasn't cool. Okay. You know, you showed how you felt.

And this is what we love about you. I don't know, I feel like it's a waste of time. Anyways, mom, I love you and I'm sorry. Let's hear holiday stories from the pod squad. Very excited. I think first we are hearing from Tina. Hi, this is Tina on Christmas a day when I was a young girl. My stepfather, he baked a ham and he baked the entire thing in the oven with the lid on

completely in the oven with the lid on completely in the bag. And the funniest thing is when he pulled it out me who just happened to be standing there and I am a connoisseur of cooking, even at a young age, I was like, oh my God, what is on the hand? And he was like, what do you mean? I was just basing it. I said, listen, you have to stop. There is a bag on the hand for the actual plastic

that comes with the hand. He put the entire thing on and baked it and didn't know. That's the best. Okay, so pod squad, Glenin is confused. So let me explain. Hams and turkeys, they come in that plastic, it's in a sealed like tight, her stepdad put the ham in with the bag on and so the plastic melted.

Well, did it say on the thing take off the plastic? Yes. I mean, everything, that's not even a cooking thing. That's a, you just bought something from some weird thing. No. You have shoes. You gotta take it from some weird thing. No. You got it. You got it. Take it out like I've got the shoes before you wear them.

No. That's not true. There's bags of broccoli. You put the whole thing in the microwave. Right? Right? When you're trying to steam a bag. Yeah.

Yeah. He was steaming the ham. Yeah, I did. I've been to plastic and that's gonna melt. I'm just gonna tell you, I will die in this mountain. I stand with Tina's stepfather. Yeah, we know. The best part is he was basting it. Let me just pour some nice juicy fluids on this plastic.

Let me see you know what basting means. I hope, yes, that's the thing that people use to, what Lesbians used to get pregnant. A turkey basing. Yes, that's right. That's, that's an old school model before IBS. So Lesbians invented it and then some people found out that it could be good for turkeys.

And then Tina's stepdad appropriated it. That's a turkey. OK, let's hear from Anna. Hi, Glenin, Abby, and sister. My hear from Anna. Hi, Glenan Abbey and sister. My name is Anna and I'm a mother of three young kids. And so it's very common for me to refer to my husband as daddy. And so this was a few years ago. We're at my mom and dad's house with all of my siblings and in-laws and nieces and nephews

and sitting around the table having white Russians. My parents had started a tradition of serving white Russians on Christmas Day. So I'm sitting next to my dad and I take a sip of my white Russian and I say, as I'm looking at him, yum daddy and the room's got silent. Everybody looks at me. My face turns beat red. And then we all disarrucked in laughter. And so now every Christmas when white Russians are served, there is a lot of teasing about yum daddy.

Yum daddy. Yum daddy. Yum daddy. Ew. Ew. So, yum daddy. No, I'm daddy. Ew. Ew. Ew. So cool. Yeah, daddy. No, it's nothing that way.

Okay. All right. Let's hear from Dusty. I call Craig Daddy. Yes, you do. And it's really not so weird. So good. My name is Dusty.

So when I was 12, my mom was really excited to do things up for Christmas. It's been a really hard year. So she wanted to do all the lights. Think like Martha May, who be a from the grand. So I ended up on the roof with her trying to spell happy holidays with our strands of lights, except that we ran off lights.

So instead, our house said happy ho. All things are new. And this is easily my favorite house. All of my favorite house. All things are new. And you can easily, my favorite. I wanna have my favorite house. I wanna have my favorite house. For sure. Justy, that's amazing. Happy ho.

I wanna see all the plot squad's pictures of themselves at Christmas with hashtag happy ho. Under the name of all the selfies. So yes, depending how you identify, you can either do hashtag happy ho or hashtag young daddy. Ah, yes. Okay, let's hear from Taylor, host. Hi, my name is Taylor.

A little bit of background. My parents were starting COVID and we're all older, so we're in our funniest and late teens, the youngest and we're four kids, and we were newly navigating sort of this split holiday, but doing it together situation. And my mom and me and my sister right underneath of me have all been highly therapistized. We are then, we are healthy, as healthy as you can be, and really working on our stuff. So all of that said, my young sister 17 and convinced for us that it would be really funny to do the TikTok trends where all of the kids

are sticking up their little finger in the same photo. But it wasn't funny. We did it. My mom looked at the picture. It actually laughed, but my dad just hysterically broke down crying, which caused my brother to cry. All of the women are just standing there looking at them like it was so joke. It was supposed to be funny and it turns into this huge thing and none of us had that laughing. Long enough to take anybody's feelings seriously. And so we talked about it as like flipping the bird, Mcgeton, and we hope to hold it all together now. We have two separate holidays all because my 17 year old sister wanted to follow a

type of trend and convinced the rest of us that it was a good idea. Wow. I'm so surprised. Oh my god. I must unpack this. So they all were flicking off and it just that is the thing. That is the butterfly effect that set the emotions into play and the men started crying and then they don't do their holidays together anymore. So all the people who were in therapy started laughing. And the men who weren't in therapy cried and left. Do you know what I think there's something there? What?

Besides the no TikTok things that Chris did, or Hanukkah,, to me that shows how whatever we're thinking about, whatever is the main thing on our minds, we think everything is about. So they saw the flicking off of the camera and they were like, see, this family hates each other now. Yeah. This holiday they hate us.

It's all ruined when really they were actually having a great time. But you can't see past your own perception of what everything's about. Yeah, everything's about everything. Yeah. Oh, that's a thing. I'm thinking about that one for a while. Let's do the trend this year. All right, Liz, let's hear from Liz.

My name is Liz and Blasmo has been part he wanted to propose to me in front of my entire family for Christmas. And so him and my younger sister have it all planned out. He gets the bring. She knows what box it's in. My sister knows what's going to happen. And I just have no idea. And so I'm sitting here with my 88-year-old great-grandmother, my grandparents, and my eight-month-old son and my sister's been pestering me this entire time to open this box.

And I'm trying to do the whole Christmas thing, you know, trying to get the baby all settled. And so I am aggravated. Finally, I give in. I'm like, give me the damn package. I get this package and I open it. And I'm sitting there. I'm aggravated. Get it open. And I look at my husband and I said, what's this? And he's down on one knee. He asked me if I'd marry him. My 88-year-old great-grandmother from across the room, who's been watching this entire time. Yellow, what's going on? Wind up? My grandmother goes, I'm not sure, Shirley, and my sister yellows shut the hell up. She's just master the marriage.

And my sister yelled, shut the hell up. Shut the mouth or the Mary. Oh, I love this family. Yeah. Oh, no, no, we're surely in Linda. What's going on? I'm not sure, Linda. Oh my god, it's so good. It's good.

This reminds me yesterday. I saw this tweet that said, God I love the holidays, the peace, the joy, the ornaments, the woman in front of me at Costco that just said, I don't care if we get your cousin a pile of shit Larry. Okay, what's here from Katie. I Glenn and Abby and sister, this is Katie. My wife, Lindsay and I were traveling for Thanksgiving and we stopped at a gas station to fill up and while my wife is filling up the car, I said, I'm gonna go in and go to the bathroom.

So I go into the gas station, convenient store area, and there's single stalls. So I pull in the women's door and it was locked. And I had to go pee so badly, so I was like, I'm just gonna go in the men. I go in the men, I go to the bathroom and then I leave and I'm kind of walking in the aisles of the convenience door trying to find snacks or something and I hear this woman kind of pounding on the door and she's yelling like, get me out, get me out. And I look over towards the bathroom, and I see my wife is leaning against the women's tall door, like pinning it shut, bending over laughing hysterically, because she thinks I'm in the soul.

And so this woman is like pounding on the door. She's like, get me out, get me out. And Winnie is again, just like bent over laughing. She looks up and sees me and then her jaw drops. And I, I, I, I lose it. So now I'm laughing hysterically and she moved out of the way this woman comes flying out of the bathroom and looks at my wife and is like, what the hell is wrong with you? And Whitney just looks at it and he's like, happy Thanksgiving.

And I fell over. At this point, I think I was on the floor of the convenience store, laughing hysterically. Oh my gosh, that's like a waffle confinement. Oh my god, that's so good. How much fun. I love couples that do that. I'm stuck to each other.

Same like play practical jokes and tricks and... The other day I was hiding for like a solid five minutes. Maybe that's all you do. And so like I set the camera up and I'm ready. By the other day she means every day. Oh yes. And like she walks upstairs and then she takes a different route that she normally takes so she found me.

Yeah. Yeah, Yeah. All right. Let's hear from Taylor. My name is Taylor and my partner and I do my favorite thing. Every Christmas, we were inspired both of our dads the way when we were 17 year olds. And we have had a lot of other significant deaths in our family. And so now for Christmas, we buy each other gifts and honor of those people.

So my husband calls it on behalf of and their behalf gifts and their favorite things to open around Christmas. So hopefully that inspires you all to keep the memory of your loved ones. With you, I you and make that liminal space very present in your life. Thank you for all you'll do. I love you for all and and just so thankful. Bye. That's awesome. That's beautiful. So she's saying they give gifts on behalf of someone who's past. Good. That's really beautiful. I'm gonna say three about. That's so good. That's really beautiful.

What is it doing now? All right. I'm gonna do it. Let's see if I'm Adrian. This is Adrian and I have a holiday story, which is I have always loved Christmas. So if that was a kid, I was the ringleader of loving Christmas.

And then I went to college. I got politicized. I learned about capitalism. And I was like, I'm not down for this. Capitalist holiday and all this stuff. politicized, I learned about capitalism, and I was like, I'm not down for this capitalist holiday and all this stuff. I told my family, like, look, post-catholic, okay? So I come home, wake up Christmas morning with my sisters, and we come downstairs, and

there's no guests, nothing. The parking, there's just nothing. Now, my grandma's like 24, 25. Like, there's no children in the house. Maybe there shouldn't be anything, but look on my face, apparently, be trade my anti-tapilism to my entire family. And my dad started laughing like the grandchews still Christmas. And I was trying to play it cool.

Her father's having grown up popping. This is fine. Like, it's fine. I just need one inside. I'm six years old and crying and devastated. Then my parents go upstairs and they came down with these very elegant bags of like adult gifts. And they were looking for a shoe. But most of the day, this is laughing in my face.

And every year, every year, I get to hear this story. Oh, yeah. Adrian's parents for the win. Yeah. You know, all of our children are anti-capitalists until they need to plane ride home. That's right. Until they need to test anti-capitalism

with a little Christmas attitude. Yeah. That's so good. That's so good. OK, Emma. Hi, my name is Emma. I do really love to cook and my family and grandma and mom and I have always cooked together. One day I said, you know what, I'm going to do friends giving. I'm

going to cook this meal. And so I texted the whole family group chat. And so, you know, I really love our secret family recipe. The green bean broth is like the cream of mushroom, the green beans, and the fried onion. Classic. I said, can you send me the Secret Family Recipe? To which my entire family replies, and by Secret Family Recipe,

we mean the Green Bean Carp Roll Recipe, that's on the can of fried onions onions that all of the United States of America makes everything. There's mine. So short and sweet. Sorry. I'm still making us do this day. Well, after that story, yeah, after that story, we have to mention Phoebe Buffet. Yeah. Grandmother's secret chocolate chip recipe that she was going to take to her crave. And the recipe was by Nestlé told house. Nestlé told house. Let me some Phoebe. Okay, Jen. Hi, my name is Jen. And this is a bittersweet holiday story. When I was 27, my mom was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer.

And as we neared the holidays, we realized she wasn't going to be here for Christmas. And also realized that all of our family traditional check recipes were in her mind, in her brain, and had never been written down, just passed down orally. So we decided, stupidly, to recreate Christmas in October with her, so we could share the meal with her and write down all these recipes. The first step was the pork gravy that we're supposed to boil the drippings at 500 degrees, according to my mom's brain, which wasn't a peak capacity at that point. And the first thing to happen is smoke billowing out of the oven and my four-year-old nephew knows what to do in a fire. He's running through the house screaming quick quick fire we have to get

out of here evacuate. So leave the eights and pension and then next was the pitot dumplings and when we scooped those little suckers out they were pure rubber. We had screwed up something along the line and my mom was pissed and devasted. One of those little fuckers into the sink and it ricocheted around like about people off the sides of the sink and we all just arrested into the silent laughing tears streaming down your face, can't breathe laughter and it was beautiful and amazing and we had had a wonderful albeit chewy and burnt meal, but it was a beautiful last memory with her. And I think about every year,

when I make those little dumplings, then they turn out wrong. And it just brings me to a... I think that story is so beautiful. Yeah, she said wonderful. I'll be at Burnton rubbery. It's so much could be set of life. It's wonderful. I'll be at Burnton rubbery.

That's right. They turn out wrong. And it brings me joy. It's like all the mess of it is the beauty of it. Mm, thank you, Jen. Tiffem Jackie. Hi, my name is Jackie. I had just recently started dating this guy

in my early 20s and I was out at the bar with his family and talking with his mom on the side. And she told me that she was going to be asking her husband for Christmas for the magic bullet. And I proceeded to tell her how I wanted a magic bullet as well. And I thought it was really interesting that she was so open with me. so open with me. This was a first Christmas together, but you know, that she was telling me about her sex toys that she was going to be asking for her husband. So she's telling me, oh, yep, the one that I want has all different beards, different pulses. And I asked her if she was going to get the one with the massage gloves, and she worked at me, and she's like, I don't know about the massage glove and she worked at me and she's like, I don't know about the massage glove. I am talking about a blender.

Did she say this is her mother-in-law? Jesus, she was just dating this guy. I'm recapping. Jackie was dating a guy. She went to a bar with his family and she was talking to his mom And his mom said she wants a magic bullet and she said I also want a Mugger operator magic bullet. Oh my god. I can't believe how cool this mom is she's talking about wanting a vibrator But I think she was talking about one of those things that they have on like QVC I can't believe how cool this moment. She's talking to me about wanting a vibrator. But I think she was talking about one of those things that they have on like QVC. A blender.

A blender. Yeah, like a neutral bullet. The thing you turn upside down and she thought she was talking about the freaking silver bullet. Oh, so it's called the silver bullet. It was comparing notes to see if she was getting the best model into a Asterov. She wanted, if she was going to get the one

with the massage setting. Oh my god going to get the one with the massage setting Oh my god. I don't know about the massage setting. No massage gloves. The massage gloves. That's good. Yeah. Jackie thought she has about to have the coolest mother in law ever. Yeah. Yeah. Oh god. That's so good. Jackie, thank you for that. You've made my Christmas better. Thank you for that. You've made my Christmas better. Christa. Hi there. My name is Christa about five or six. Thanks, Diggings ago. We have two little kids. They were playing running around outside.

We were running around outside and our dogs was out there as well. And we know to us she disappeared somewhere into our neighborhood for a maybe ten minute tops came back always well we loaded the kid the dog all the food into the car and we are heading to my mom's house for a lovely thanks giving dinner. So we get down there everything's great until about 15 minutes before we sit down all of a sudden our dog rose up and entire honey baked by will. No, no, no, no, it's honey baked because the crackling edges were still attached

through the ham. It was perfectly sliced. It was clear to anyone what it was. My mom looks at me for an explanation. I just kind of shrugged. I have no idea. I look at my husband for an explanation. I just kind of shrugged. I have no idea. I look at my husband for an explanation. He also has no clue. We eventually clean it up and move on with the family dinner. The problem is to this day we have no idea which of our neighbors had to order pizza for their Thanksgiving dinner because our dog ate

their ham. I am still aptly horrified at my dog on the other hand. It does not seem to care. She walked around the neighborhood like she owns it, like everything's fine. Like she just like she just really wanted some ham. I'm so happy. Can you imagine a lot of people use like their garages or outdoor area to like keep things cold because you don't have enough room in your refrigerator or in a holiday food? Can you imagine having your ham or turkey

or whatever outside? And they're like going out to like, you know, you've preheated the oven? You're gonna bring it to room 10. Pfft. The fucking ham is gone. It's just gone. That family is still talking.

What do you do? Do you look around for it? Like did this ham get up and run away? You be yelling at everyone. You know they were all blaming each other. Yeah. And then I'd be like, wait, did I buy the ham? I didn't buy the ham? I'm riding a bike!

I didn't buy the hair this year. I'm just gone. Do you know what's fascinating? Is that the whole thing came up and it was art. It was still and it's like pre-slice. Yes, because dogs, they just swall the whole thing. They do. I mean, the other thing that's really interesting to me

is that this dog Ruined somebody's holiday. I don't know what I was gonna say. I had a really good point No, it was gonna be good. Damn it all the hell. It's okay. The pre sliced No, no, okay. All right. Let's hear from Teresa Hi, this is Teresa. I have a heartwarming holiday story to share with Pa's son. I was getting divorced in 2014 and it was very hurtful because I loved my ex-husband's family. He had a large extended family.

They were all very good to me and I was feeling really lonely on Christmas Eve because that was all his big family extravaganza. And that was always one of the highlights of the year for me. And my family doesn't live here and that kind of left me on my own anyway through the whole divorce. So I was sitting at home kind of in a moat feeling really sad and then there was a knock at the door and I opened the door and it was my soon to be ex-cband's cousin, who was bringing to me a butter dish cup of water, that's the fancy Polish cup of water, if you're in Buffalo or anywhere in the Midwest.

Well, Gulas from my ex-husband's grandmother, knew that I was sitting at home alone, missing everything, and missing her Gulas in particular, which is always a big holiday highlight. And she handed it to me through the door as if it was some sort of transaction of like sacred documents. There's something that Grandma wanted you to have

this and Mary Christmas. And I think it was the best gift I ever received was that tub full of Grandma's goulash. So sometimes it's little things that are really the big things. Thanks. Happy holiday. You know what else is good?

Gramas. Gramas who just include women whether they're on the ends with their families or their outs with their families. Like the people who think of the person who might be lonely and just reach out something little, that would be a good thing for this holiday. Yeah. Just to think of somebody in your life who might be a little lonely this holiday and just reach out. I also remember to what I was

going to say before. What? If the family of this ham is listening, if one year a ham went missing, please call in and leave a voicemail. Yeah, I need to hear it from your side. And also I just love the idea of that you can just maybe rise up above a little bit of that just because people are no longer going to be married that that has to be whole cloth I'm no longer going to be married that that has to be whole cloth cutting off from them. I mean, where it's possible, I think a little gestures like that. Again, the compartmentalizing. Yes. That we talked about before.

It's just like, there's no world in which someone was a huge part of your life and your traditions and you loved them and you cared for them and you spent all of these important events with them. And then the next year because of something totally separate from you, it's like, well, that's no longer a thing. We force ourselves to do emotional gymnastics instead of realizing that the truth of it is if you cared about them then, you care about them now.

And it may be in a little more complicated of a way, but we make it too tidy and in making it too tidy, I think we hurt other people and we hurt ourselves. If you have love for people, you can show it. Yeah. I also think in terms of like divorces, and isn't the holidays supposed to be about trying to like be of joy and love and inclusion, and it's like when this divorce thing happens,

they're automatically becomes this weird exclusion. Yeah, in and out. And like this person's now on the outside, and I just, I don't believe in that, you know, like, marriage just happened. People happen. I love some of my in-laws that are no longer married to my brothers, you know. And I think that that's really important, that they know that I love them. And no matter what, my nieces and nephews are half theirs.

Yeah, that's right. Well, I love this Wild huge family we've created this pod squad. It is just been a great joy of my life this year And it makes me feel comforted to know that no matter what The next year brings we will be back here next year at the same time, telling ridiculous stories together and reflecting on the year together and preparing to do the next year together. And for that, Constancy, I am grateful. And I just hope all of you find some And I just hope all of you find some tiny bursts and slices of joy inside all of the mess that the next week will inevitably bring. And peace.

Yeah. Little flashes of peace. And I love you sister, and I love you Abby. And you will be the gift, and the present. Your presence will be our best present. I hope so, because I haven't bought a lot. I love you Abby. I love you, G bird. I love you, Pod Squad. I love you guys so much. And I want to buy sister all of the things.

I know. We do like the weirdest things. Please act on that impulse. We love you. Enjoy your people. If you're alone, enjoy enjoy yourself because you are the thing. If you're with people, you are the thing too. That's right. We'll see you next time. Love. We can do hard things, is produced in partnership with Cadence 13 Studios. Be sure to rate, review, and follow the show on Apple Podcasts, Odyssey, or wherever you get your podcasts, especially be sure to rate and review the podcast if you really liked it. If you didn't, don't worry about it. It's fine. you