We Hate Movies - 2: Unlock the Vault - The Nexus 24 "Space Seed" / "Skin of Evil"

Episode Date: August 18, 2019

We're unlocking the WHM Vault to offer up a Dog Days of Summer-primed episode of The Nexus! If you're not hip to our Patreon, now is your chance to check out an episode of our exclusive Star Trek-themed show—FREE! We can't stress enough that you don't have to be a fan of Trek to enjoy the show—even our own Chris Cabin couldn't care less about the franchise! So if you like what you hear, head on over to our Patreon page and subscribe today! Instantly access hours, upon hours of exclusive content, not only for The Nexus, but also bonus shows on Star Wars, bizarre cartoons from the '80s and '90s... even a series of sync-able commentary tracks where we get drunk watching the Twilight movies! Our Patreon is not only home to this massive archive of additional content you can't get anywhere else, but it's also how we keep the lights on here at WHM. So if you dig the show and like what we do, please consider supporting us over at the Patreon. You won't regret it! This concludes our August 2019 pledge drive. Now go enjoy this oppressively humid summer day! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, gang, welcome to this exclusive unlocked episode of the Nexus. We're going into the vault for this one? Going into the vault, baby. It's the dark days of summer. A little treat for the yet-to-subscribes, as we call them. You let them out? We're supposed to keep them locked. They're fucking dangerous animals.

Sorry, dude. You're infected. It's infected. Too late now. We realize we never previewed the nexus before. A lot of people don't know what it is, but this is a side Star Trek podcast we have on Patreon where we review an episode of TOS and an episode of TNG back to back. And you will see within this episode you don't have to be a trekkie to understand it. Yeah, we're all vague.

I mean, like Eric, Andrew and myself are all very. vague Star Trek fans of varying degrees and Chris just hates the whole's franchise. Hello. So yeah, like this is, we don't get too in depth and actually sometimes we're like, oh my God, you didn't mention that this episode was written by and I'm like, I don't know, my eyes just glazed over.

Yeah, I know very few Star Trek writers, but that's not, you know, that's not the point of this show it's not an in-depth whatever. You know, there are shows like that out there and they do great jobs. That's, you know, their bag. This is way more. of just watching stuff

having fun and recapping it you know and this is one of those episodes that you can get if you are a subscriber to our Patreon which is again Patreon.com slash we hate movies this is at the $8 level which also gets you four commentaries a year that you can

sync up to films as well as access to our Star Wars program the Gleap Glossary That's right. That's an episode where Eric tells us about a character of Star Wars from the essential guide to characters and we kind of go through that that's at the $8 level but what you get Patreon goes at the you can give us two bucks if you just want to give us two dollars just for fun you get a

big daddy dispatch which is a newsletter that's written by all four of us where we do some movie reviews and kind of answer some questions and also recap the show and do some promotion it's just that's more like a nice little add on sure and you also get to know what episodes are coming up in the next month that is very cool it's an essential guide in and of itself very important if you want to watch along plan your month, you have it right there for you. At the $3 level, you get animation, damnation, which is an animated side show. We've been doing this that was

for free for a while. It wasn't for free that it was for free again. Now it's definitely not. If you've been following the show for 10 years, that's been the trajectory. But yeah, it's just a show where we talk about a 30-minute cartoon for about 30 minutes. We've done duct tales. We've done

the Rambo cartoon. We've done it's a big reminder of how bat-shit crazy the 80s and 90s were as far as cartoons go. Because, yeah, we have the heavy hitters like duck tails, right? But like this month, we are talking about the Japanese export cartoon Noozles that I was obsessed with as a child, which is just like, it's all the drugs, all the drugs went into making this cartoon. So it's a combo of both.

Yes, exactly. You go through all that stuff. At the $5 level, this has been what we call the We Hate Movies Prime Level. By the way, as these levels go up, you get everything. everything beneath them. In the previous tier. Yes. So at the $5 level,

you get what we call We Hate Movies Prime, which is just an episode of We Hate Movies that is given to you at this level that is exclusive on Patreon. We used to just regular

We Hate Movies episode. We've done stuff on Ready Player 1. We've done stuff on National Treasure Book of Secrets that's out right now. Oh, yeah. We've done Bright. We've done Man of Steel. All sorts of really shitty movies.

But Chris Cabin, what are we doing in September? In September, we are going, we love movies. In the love in the place. Oh, I want to kiss them. Not just for this month, though, from here on out. These apps are WLMs and we're kicking things off with Martin Campbell's golden eye. Holy shit.

Love that movie. And I love that episode. It was fun to do. And at the $5 level, you also get access to the back catalog. If you ever wondered, what were the first 100 episodes like? You'll see. Really Rocky. We've been doing this show a long time.

I think we've gotten into a groove now. Exactly, yes. But that's why it's all dubbed at one level, five bucks. You get the whole fucking lot of it. Take it, dude. It's the We Hate Movies Garage Sale. And the top tier is that $8 level. We told you about which the Nexus is a part of

and you get everything we already said just now. And on top of that, you also get the commentaries, which are under said, which we've done a lot of great movies. We just finished the Twilight Saga, the entirety of the Twilight Saga. has been watched in real time on these commentaries. It sucks. It's a lot of fun. We've done power hours. We did the Independence Day commentary. A bunch of stuff. Just check it out. You'll love it.

So all this, and I was about to say and more, but no, that's literally, we told you everything. So patreon.com slash we hate movies. Check it out. And for the, oh, what? One last thing, Columbo. What do you got? Just one thing, ma'am. This episode of the Nexus we're about to preview is a year old. So that shows you the breadth of stuff you're missing. There's a ton of Nexus out there. Oh, yeah. We've done, I think, 35 nexus and like 35 animation damnations.

There's a ton of shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And like about 24 episodes. There's a ton of content on there. Totally. So go see for yourself, patreon.com slash we hit movies. And now enjoy this episode, this trial episode of the Nexus. Space Seed and what's the other episode?

Skin of Evil. Skin of Evil. Tasha Yarr goes goodbye, bye, bye. That's right. The oil. monster. Look out for that. All right, here we go. Here's the Nexus. Enjoy. Step into the Nexus with a summer Patreon subscribers Because this is indeed the August nexus

And we are here the whole gang Whole gang in studio Oh wow Hey we're a gang Steve's looking a little incredulous right now What the fuck is your problem? I just can't believe that this is what the slate is this month It's kind of crazy

It's nuts Like people will I imagine someone out there is like they must have rigged it It's impossible to rigged it We had like months off and or like We did a couple of their listener request months and stuff. Right. That's true. We kind of also fucked up the order by doing both of the cage and then the menagerie is separate. Yeah. Exactly. So all of that stuff like

and it's just so coalesced. So now we are doing both these episodes back to back. Two historic Star Trek episodes back to back. So let's get into it. The first one. Of course, as always, Star Trek the original series, the episode in question, space seed, original air date, February the 16th 1967 Chris is your first time watching this one Oh yeah

Oh wow okay This is for those not in the know Space Seed is of course The origin of Khan Nunnian Singh Yeah I did Recognize it Because it does

Have a similarity To the plot of Into Darkness Yeah It kind of does Having his population And Wrath of Khan Yeah

Rath of Khan as well So tell me Did you like this episode because if you didn't, I'm going to punch you. But now I feel like I shouldn't say I did because it will sound like I'm scared of you punching. Chris Cabin loves getting hit. I did like it, but it's not because your fist was going to come at me. A lot of people tell me.

Fist was going where? I'm going to bend over and I'll show you. But a lot of people tell me I'm very intimidating. So it's okay if you're intimidated. I'm not intimidated. I'm not intimidated. Third graders? calm down cobra kai

um it's no i think i really liked this episode i did too this might actually be my favorite t o s episode so far that's it that's right so now on to the next one all right so tng we got a good after the jump here we go there's a great thing at the start of this episode you guys notice captain kirk being a bit of a dickhead right here you're gonna have to narrow it down okay Oh, out of character.

He's more, okay, more specifically, he's being kind of a snippy bitch. Okay. Because what happens is, like, they're floating around in space and he's like, oh, we've received a distress call, blah, blah, blah. Oh, right. And so O'Hura is like, Captain, this sounds like 20th century Morse code. What they're saying is, and he just goes, we're reading it, lieutenant. And you can feel the whole bridge crew Like their assholes all clenched

Like, God, that guy's a fucking dickhead Oh, it's gonna be one of those days Fuck, I should have swapped out shifts I know, it's so uncomfortable He just snaps out of her for no fucking reason Why don't you get some coffee, O'Hura? It's just a total fucking asshole. I will say one of the best parts of this episode

You got a full fucking cast for once O'Huru is in it, Scotty's in it Scotty kind of a big role here And O'Hurah has some things to do. Yeah, she gets punched in the face a couple of times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what you want. No, so it's, yeah, they got this thing.

And is this when Spock is like, where Kirk and Spock go back and forth and Kirk's calling him an asshole kind of a thing? He's calling him a robot again. Well, it's something about, because they discovered that the ship, it's the Botany Bay. It's from the 1990s. And they start, like, getting into, you know, Spock's like, oh, this is kind of from your time in history when you guys were animals. Jim, I've heard about this, the 1990s. That's when Carson Daly ruled the airwaves. And my favorite band, Limp Biscuit, was playing.

They were climbing the charts of TRL. I was thinking about taking up with a band called Coal Chamber. Wow. Deep dive. Holy shit. Wait, so, Siska, did you watch this on DVD or? I watched it on Netflix, because I was it. I was lazy, but I've seen this episode a ton of times.

I can't tell you the differences off the top of my head, but if I'm going to guess, is the special effects were worse. Because I was wondering what the ship would look like, the Botany Bay, like what that whole thing would look like. I mean, that's how the Botany Bay always looked, but I think in the original version,

it was made out of a bunch of milk cartons. They painted a grayish brown. Okay. They get this ship like in the tractor beam, and you know kind of pull it in because it's a weird McCoy is like it's something about like yeah there's nothing here but actually oh it's like they expected us I'm seeing a little bit of heart action

and they're like all right well I guess that's is that something should we investigate that action well if we look at all these posters there's a bunch of train spotting posters on the wall this one it had to be the 1990s Jim look at this Jim there you go it's a treasure trove of Kevin Smith memorabilia. Do you smell

clove cigarettes? Hey Jim, what was in Marcellus Wallace's chest? They opened that briefcase there, Jim Boy. What do you think was in there? They turn on the lights and it's black light. It's like from the game,

but it has Spice Girls wannabe all over the walls. That's terrifying. Well, hello, gentlemen. If you would like to be my lover, you'll have to get with my friends. Because making love forever and Superman never end. I'm going to stop you right there, Buckaroo.

How about you do the macarena? Because I'm bones and I'm a racist. Hey, you green-bodied Vulcan, um-bop. M-bop-bop-m-bop. Dip-a-da-do-o-o-o-bop. I'm going to rip your head off Oh my God

So they discover like Oh wow the Botany Bay It is a sleeper Like travel ship Yeah cryosleep deal Which is something that was discontinued By the year 2018 Yes

2018 No more suspended animation No we're stopping it It's a failed program It's a bad deal. Suspended animation is totally fake. It's a bad deal. You go to sleep. You wake up 60 years later and your daughter's not hot anymore.

Khan and his people, they're bad news folks. They're just bad news. I'm stronger on Khan than anyone ever has been. Khan Nune and Singh is a great leader. His people love him and he's great. And I talked to him for two hours behind closed doors and there was no one there and it was great but they actually first things first they bring along a the ship historian

oh my god the disdain kirk has for this woman it's well she has to be Irish because it's Star Wars it's Star Trek oh my lord it's a little late in the night everybody Twitter just fucking exploded bite your tongue

RIPD Twitter and it's uh it's her name is McGivers She's making a lot of shit out of paperclips and bubble game I will say eating a potato the whole time It's very odd Even though this is a classic app And I think it's fantastic

Yes This whole thread is a weak point Totally right It ages like a fucking Like a bad fucking potato in your goddamn fridge What the idea of like a starship having an historian That's what's got to No like the way that this character kind of is written

And the way she kind of falls under his thrall Well she's horned up for the 1990s, man. So it's just... I think I, you know... Oh my God, Fisher Stevens. Exactly. Why do they call them the plague?

Oh my... Yeah. Sick hackers' It's like demolition, man. You know, you got the Sandra Bullock character and that character as well just wants to fuck the dude from the 90s. Sure. But this is what's funny, though, is like we are

so many years away from that. Like, we are told that Khan and his people have been asleep for 200 years-ish, right? So, like, this is, like, people who want to fuck, like, Civil War reenactors. That is definitely a thing. Oh, of course, because it was all about heritage. I understand. But it's just, it's not so much, like, because I was thinking it at first in terms of, like, you know, we have nostalgia now for, like, the 80s. Now the 90s, honestly.

But that's, are they going to be, like, looking for people who, like, are wearing. Echo and Levi's Big Dog T-shirts When Historians in Star Trek Looking back Yes, yes, yes, yes

Right, right, right. They're going to get fucking horned up Looking at the Jenko jeans and everything. Oh, fuck, that would be all right. I took her out. It was a Friday night, Jim. I wore cologne to get the feeling right. We started making out

and she took off my pants and then I turned on the TV. And that's about the time She walked away from me Well, here I am, Captain, Doing all I can Because I am a Superman I try to sleep

Jim, Jim, I'm feeling Like a freak on a leash But so How about this one, Jim boy? Ball with the ball The bang, dabit-bitty-bore What's with these homies dissing my girl.

Why do they got a front? I wish I was a little bit taller. I wish I was a baller. A million peaches. Peaches for me. I am a Georgia peach. She's lump, Jim. She's goddamn lump.

It's in my fucking head, you green-blooded Vulcan. Oh, wait, the eugenics war. It's closing time. You don't got to go home, but you can't stay here. Time for you to go out to the places you may be from. Father of mine, where have you been? Sex and candy.

Walk around in circles, walk around in circles. Oh, man. Oh, no. It's the Super Bon Bon Bon. Bonn. Jim, you want to see my candlebox tat? No, I do not. Bones.

Okay, so they're superhuman. I want to loop back around to what Steve was saying about the, uh, the guy, no, them treating Spock like he's subhumid or whatever. Sure, here. Because Khan was able to take over the planet in the 90s and then. What did they say?

His reach was from like fucking the Middle East through all of Asia is what he control Yeah, there's 40 nations fell to these supermen. Jesus Christ, there's like 20 of these guys. Well, there was apparently 80 that were unaccounted for at the end of the Eugenics War. Oh, right.

And those are the ones apparently that were shot into space with Khan or maybe less than that. Right. And Kirk and Bones are like admiring this dictator. It's the weirdest shit in the world.

Kirk Bones and Scotty's also there dipping his toe in this fucking hero worship. This is what Spock's like, what are you talking about? Right. And fucking Kirk is such an asshole right here because he's like, listen, stupid. You know, basically he says like, we can admire this dude's accomplishments

but also like hate his guts. And I was like, hey, James Tiberius, Kirk, what's your feelings on one Adolf Hitler? That dude certainly conquered a lot, you weird fuck. Oh, I'd love to meet Hitler. I mean, the guy was great. He had the numbers he put up, you've just got to respect it.

He had some good ideas. Yeah, exactly. You know, if the war didn't happen, he didn't go down as he would be remembered so fondly the way he turned around the economy of Germany. I mean, that's what we're doing here. They're jerking off to these dudes, and Spock's like, stop it. Say what you will about the rest of them, but you got to respect Rommel. Yeah, exactly. Spock is like a horrified right here, and they're like, you're such an idiot, Spock.

You know what, Spock? If you have to ask, you'll never know. They go on the ship. They find the cryopod that has con in it, who's played by wonderfully by Ricardo Montalban. Absolutely. this wig that he's got on though I don't understand why they even bothered I mean because it was the 60s and it's all

quote unquote interchangeable why they made him a Sikh makes no sense it's really really weird because it's just a fake Superman from like the end of the 90s which is 30 years away he can be Mexican you know what I mean like he could be or like or even Latin America

they're trying to like say like oh it was like multi ethnic or something but it's like, yet Star Trek is portrayed as pasty Irishman. Yeah. I don't, yeah, I have no idea what they're trying to do with this. Thank God we got all those Sikhs out of Starfle.

Yeah, maybe it's like the other, like... But they do treat it like, oh, the Sikhs were proud warriors. It's like, what the fuck are you talking about? It's so bizarre. I think it was a thing where like they didn't know what they didn't know what they're talking about. It's like, what would be a nation that or, you know, a group of people that might become something. But obviously they're not going to say that way,

you know, us white dudes are going to be ruling everything anyway. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, it seeks. But the best part is, like, the cryopods starts to fail or something because they tripped the candlebox protocol. And they, the way to get in,

Kirk breaks this, it's held this dude for 600, for 200 years, and it's one pain of the thinnest glass. Like, he used his elbow to pop it. I don't get that at all. It should be like, he should have like a,

Need something here. He really gets in there super easily. They get him out. He's dying. They're like, oh, they actually keep calling him a casualty, which is kind of cool. They're like, oh, we're going to beam him aboard, and we're going to fucking dissect. He's going to die on board. Don't worry about it.

Yeah, just, you know, get the fucking torpedo bay ready so we can send him back out just as quick as we got him in here. What's our sunglasses cases situation? The incredibly large sunglasses cases you see at the end of Wrath of Khan. that we shove Spock into. Yeah, they're stuck for this. I am not a pair of Oakley's, God damn it. Does someone say Oakley's? Oh, fantastic invention from the 1990.

Reminded me of the great music video that my favorite band Limp Biscuit made for the soundtrack to my favorite film, John Wu's Mission Impossible 2. What a time to be alive, it must have been. Metallica. also penned an original tune for the motion picture. Called You Disappeared.

Oh, fuck, Kevin, nice. It's illogical that a franchise would last from the 1996 all the way to 2018. You know, the best part about Metallica in the 90s. Now, Jim, if you remember that unplugged that Alaston Chains did, where they wrote on their guitars, friends don't let friends get.

friends' haircuts. Now that was about the load album, how Metallica cut their hair and like, what the fuck is wrong with you, puns? Jim, may I bring to mind one of my favorite poets and just say,

give me fuel, give me fire, give me that which I desire. Oh, you want to take my picture, Vulcan? Is that what you want to do? Whatever. It's just,

it's a, fucking bottomless pit of awesome they get him on they get him on the fucking ship they they start to revive him uh and immediately by the way the second she sees his sleeping body macivers is like oh my god i want to fuck this guy and i think he's a necrophilia i will throw my body my whole career in the toilet i will ruin my life and everyone else i've ever met for this man and she starts low she gets a hair haircut new hairstyle she's trying to impress this dude That's a weird thing when she, like, visits Khan in his quarters. All of these scenes are weird.

And he's just like, why is your hair up? And she's like, I don't know, it's comfortable and fuck it. I'm at work. And he's like, yes, but what about down? Yeah. And she's, yeah, she's just like immediately into it. It's like, she's going to throw her whole career away. Do you know the Rachel?

Could you possibly do that? Yes, he's like a. It's your bangs that go into your face a little bit, but the hair comes out. It's kind of almost like a mullet. It's a little bit of both. It's almost like the shaggy dog on top of your head. And then you have the nose job.

Model bun's great. I mean, he's awesome. He's fantastic. I can't get over the wig, and there's quite a bit of generous face paint going on here. It's brown face. It's pretty much brown face. Yeah, it's bad.

And is this a fake muscle? suit he's wearing? That's a great question. I don't think so. Is this all Montelban? I think he's fucking Jack, dude. All right. But I think it's a thing

where everybody else on this show was just so heinously out of shape. Even William Shatner was like kind of smaller muscularized and Montalban was just like a dude that was in great shape. You put this motherfucker up against James Duhan. I mean, no contest.

No fucking contest. James Girdle Duhan. that's a great point because like some of these guys are like wet rags like bones come on oh I mean you blow you blow your nose and it'll fall over

with Scotty it's like Hercules fighting the Pillsbury doughboy but Kirk comes to visit and like immediately like there's this tete-a-tet going on big contentious here and but Kirk is so fucking stupid

he's like well captain can I see all the controls and plans to your spaceship what the fuck is this shit and he's like well yes certainly I'll get you a library card and the resources just use my login

it gets you all the privileges he says something about like oh yes like the ship schematics are open to everybody with a view find what the fuck are you doing well I mean that makes sense everybody who's gone through

Starfleet sure everyone who's a crewman of this ship not a war criminal found a drift in space thank you very much can you also show me what you useful explosives here I would also like to know about that

where is this self-destruct a bot? Like it's just it's so fucking dumb like they didn't offer this shit up to Harry Mud that guy was thrown in the brig immediately but he didn't Harry Mud doesn't have like 2,000 kills under his belt and Craigson got a bit of a

2 million yeah he's got a bit of a schoolboy crush on him that's actually true do you think yeah like he's just so hard for this fucking war criminal that it's like whatever you want I'll get it to you twice over. Oh, you know what happened? Is that he was like, hey, hey, I would like to know,

life is like a box of chocolate. And he was, and they were charmed so deeply by this. Oh, Jim, I know this one. And then he meets the president again. Don't mind me, sir. Please go on with the story. Jim, get him some Dr. Peppers. That'll put him.

right at. Oh, I wish the hollow deck was invented so we could be sitting at a bus stop. And then it's my favorite part of that story, Jim Boy, where they do the right thing and they villainize the Black Panthers. And then he beats the Chinese at their

own game, ping pong, which is what I thought was a Chinese name at first. Excuse me, I'm a bit of an amateur historian myself, so you're from the 1990s. Do you know how the fuck that movie beat Pulp Fiction? in the Oscar

I mean it's in it's eons ago but my goodness and how the hell did do the right thing lose to driving Miss fucking Daisy I mean I spit on the ground

when I think about it That is what kicked off the eugenics war Dude the eugenics wars just started with fucking con Nunian Singh throwing a fucking garbage can through pizzeria

It was an Oscar party gone awry This is bullshit This is bullshit He was arrested at a premiere for the English patient Dude, it was con at an Oscar party At Danny ILO's house Sounds right

Danny, you're a shoeing Danny, the movie you put out It's a beautiful movie No, you should definitely play Jack Ruby Why's wise career decision So, I don't know. So, like, he gives him all the schematics. And, like, this is when, like, and again, I do think this kind of sticks out of the sort of thumb, like, these scenes where, like, he, he's, like, breaking this woman down.

It's really uncomfortable to watch. Go or stay, but do whatever you wish. Yeah, it's this weird, like, super almost, and she's, like, begging him to stay. It's so weird. And you can totally, like, just flip that voice, right? Come on, babe. Do whatever you're going to do. Stay or go.

But it's your decision because I'm a cool, supportive boyfriend. And don't worry about it. It's a bit off-putting. But there is this great dinner scene. They take con to dinner. Guess who's coming to get dinner. And the fucking spread.

This is awesome. Like, they walk in. And Bone's like, my God, look at the spread here. Jim boy. Oh, you're really rolling out the red carpet. You didn't even do that for the admiral last week. It looks like a pretty great fucking spread. I will say.

It looks awesome. It's delicious. They sit him down and like Because every time like Kirk is like So who the fuck are you and Where do you come from? What is going on?

What's your whole deal mister? And he's like Well I grow very tired captain Could I also buy Whenever you get a chance Can I have your nuclear lunch coats? That's what's fucked up is like Listen when you bring a

Potentially nefarious person Of your starship Invite him to dinner And he's being like Very coy about stuff and like then when you put the screws to him just the little as bit he's like oh i grow tired yeah that dude's crooked yeah sure that dude is immediately announcing himself as being crooked they don't put security on him until like the end of the episode it's until he's turned the

fucking historian to his side anyway i don't want to be rude uh but yeah this dinner scene is you know more ted-a-tete good teddy-tete between kirk and con here and you know it's basically like, oh, well, all of dinner conversation is just combat disguised. Oh, that's a great line to combat in disguise. Oh, fuck. It's brilliant. I was just getting wet looking at it, dude. I mean, like, it's an amazing episode.

So he has a great line. He says to this historian, he's like, I'm going to take over the ship. Do you agree? And she's like, okay, that's great news con. Yeah, and she's like, my boyfriend. So she, they also Eddie, Valian. A classic film.

So they wind up, they do unleash all those people, right? That's what happens to? Yes, so what she does, and so this McGruber here, or McGivers, excuse me. She goes to the transporter room, knocks out this dude.

They secretly beam over to the ship. They wake up everybody else. on the Botany Bay, bring them all back, I believe, is the idea. It's kind of like that part in Demolition Man when Jesse the Body Ventura shows up. Oh, that's right. Let's get the whole gang back together.

Fuck, you're totally right. Demolition Man's screenwriters ripped this right off. Yeah, and then, like, because he's read the entire goddamn user manual, he knows like he locks them all on the bridge and he starts depleting the oxygen.

There's a scene between this when they actually discover who's con. is, and that's when, like, this is when Kirk is like, Khan, Nunion Singh. And he goes through the whole thing, his whole stats. And I was like, yeah, he's terrible, but man, the murders. Like, they're all just, like, they're just the chuckling

about, like, all of the shit this dude did. And Kirk's like, well, I will put one fat Irishman on his hair. That should solve it. And it's great because what he's doing there, he's like, like, he gives that order and he looks at Spock like, there. Are you fucking happy now? You, big baby. Look, no one is tougher

on con than I am. I put one fat Irishman on his door. I'm going to push you way around. Well, I will. Jim, you have to do more than that. He smells scrumptious. So, yeah, like, they take over engineering. They all pass

out. It's a weird, like, Kirk is giving this, like, goodbye address. I take full responsibility. I had a murder boner for the genocide. Totally on me, my eyes were totally on the wrong part of the prize here. I totally botched this one.

Well, look, there's nothing. All of a sudden, the enterprise is filled with knockout gas. There is tanks upon tanks of knockout gas. The Joker is on board. Because first thing, they get knocked out, and then Con takes over the ship. He puts everyone in a room. And this is when he starts slapping around O'Hura. And so that's a little bit weird.

It's not Khan. It's just some beef cake. Oh, that's right. It's one of his dudes. One of his other Superman. He's like, hello, Ramon, or like, whatever this dude's name is. And this dude, this dude's beating the shit out of Uhura. And then it's fucking McGruber steps in. And she's just like, can you please stop hitting this woman?

I will go get you what you need. Well, he was kind of like structured like, do I have to watch this? Yeah. No, you could go take a walk. Oh, that's right. Yeah, she just asks to be excused from the assault. She lets it happen. You know what?

She's complicit. Take five, listen to Weezer's Pink Album. I think it's going to change your life. God damn, you. Pickerton, I apologize. Half Japanese girls, do it to me every time. Oh, the Red Man said you shred the cello. But I'm Jello, baby.

Look, don't touch. Don't look, don't think of me. I'm the epitome of public enemy. All right, you know what? That guy, that one guy, he's all right. Everybody else, you know, and everybody else, I would like to kill I want to do

crush them but that guy is all right watching pink triangle honestly watching grunge leg drop

new jack through press table and then my heart Jim well it starts listening to Cocoa saying well actually no

what should be called Kirk is inside of a weird compression chamber it's something that I think I saw in a Bond movie yeah

like the Pressure's, like, amping up or whatever, and he's going to, like, pop like a grape. Because that's his thing. It's, like, Kahn is like, everyone must join me, or I will kill the captain. And everyone's like, no, because the captain doesn't want that anyway, blah, blah, blah. And McGiver's like, hey, I'm going to go for a walk. This is when, and then, like, Kirk is presumed that it's like,

and you are the next, Mr. Spock. Right. He takes Spock into the chamber. McGivers has turned the tables around, and Kirk gets the drop on one of Khan's goons, and now it's Spock and Kirk doing this. And this is when the knockout gas is like, knockout gas. Floor is 5, 10, and 12.

Lawrence and Gage. It's just nothing but knockout. If there was always knockout gas, use it every episode. Oh, no. Well, you know what, though? You couldn't because knockout gas don't work on no-god people. Good night, Chip. Bye-bye.

Just Kirk gassing everyone. No, you have to be in your quarters. It's bedtime. And then you've got to deal with the. guy who actually deals the poison, the knockout gas to the fucking fleet. Oh, dude, that guy's sketchy. Oh, you don't want to talk to that

guy. He's a tweaker. He's like a sub Carney. Oh, you need to re-up, hey. Yeah. Here we go. Take 10 loads. Put it in the back. How about some poisonous gas this time? Yeah, sure.

What the hell? So, Khan, like, runs to engineering and he, like, deactivates the gas there and that's how Kirk knows where he is Scotty's like oh gas is going everywhere except engineering so it must be there fucking great thing right here is like Kirk pulls a phaser

on Khan and Khan does like the gun bend if he's bending guns he should break Kirk's neck bending guns E breaking necks yes that's what it should be sort of like Superman like how he breaks General Zod's neck you all know

exactly but yeah but like Kirk's it's a fun fight you on this Blu-ray quality man you will see some stunt doubles shine absolutely dude it's outrageous there's standard deaf 4x3 television broadcast signal you'll see those stunt doubles

the fucking con stunt double man he's got a goddamn huge bald spot it's outrageous so they're fighting it's a fun fight and Kirk beats him to death with a pipe almost well this is Kirk is first he's using like little like I'll chop you here there yeah little kaha ha ha yeah

gotcha gotcha good yeah and then like con just like body slam him four times and Kirk's near death and he's like, you have no chance of winning because I am so damn strong and he's like, yeah, but a pipe. So he's knocked out and then they have this like bullshit

tribunal. Here's my one beef. I love this episode. This wraps up a titch too neatly. It wraps up insanely. It is also that. It's like a mutual respect. It's like because of the genocide I'll maroon you to a planet. But you could build

your empire there. Like what are you helping this guy. Just kill this guy. Or just put him in Star Trek jail. You've sent other people to Star Trek jail before. I'd be like, you know what? It's the Federation's problem. It's like, well, well, you've... So, you nearly destroyed my entire ship and killed... You were about

to kill me, but mutual respect here. By the way, hey, hey, McGivers, you want to stay in this weird abusive relationship? Hey, do you want to do, you want to do that? Like, would you rather a court marshal or literally live in hell for the rest of your life? It's a weird thing, too, where they're like,

So what the fuck are you doing? And Kirk is like, you'll appreciate this. It's from a poet I read once. It is better to rule in hell than serve in heaven. But it's also like, this is the exact opposite of the prime directive, right? It's like the, instead of not fucking with cultures, you're putting a despot on a fucking planet. Totally.

And just seeing what happens. Also, I just realized, by the way, because I was sitting here thinking that last Kirk that you were doing, was getting a little Sulu-esque. No Sulu in this episode. Oh, you're right. That's right. It's not a full cast. Yeah, so we've fucked up again, goddammit. This is how you get ego the planet.

Right. Her Russell? Yeah, this is how this happens. Shit like this. Well, we all know that, you know. I'm fucking the planet. I've become it. The space seed and now it's got my face.

Yeah, space sea. My son, he's very, he's very handsome with his raccoon friends. Well, that's what happens. I impregnated his wife. outside the Dairy Queen. Which is very 1990s of me. He winds up, there's a great Spockland,

which is the last side of the episode, which everyone's like, oh, you weird Vulcan, he's like, well, I shudder, is like, well, I shudder to think, I was doing bones for a second. Yeah, no, it's all right.

Well, I shudder to think what's going to happen in a hundred years after that rotten seed you just planted. Yeah. But he said, he's more on the nose because he's like,

we'll have to revisit this in a hundred years and see about that seed or whatever. And it's like, don't worry. It's actually going to take less than 20 years for this to fucking come back around and bite you in the fucking balls, Jim Kirk.

You fucking idiot, because you couldn't goddamn send this motherfucker out into space like you should have. This dude will go on to kill your biological son. So how about that fuck face? You arrogant prick. Did I just get called fuckface? No, he doesn't kill his son. He killed Spock.

His son is killed by... Oh, the Klingons kill him. You're totally right. That's why he's his best friend. That's why he kills his best friend. Sure, sure. Which, I mean, just stop some tweets. Just trying to stop some tweets here. But I think, to be fair, that whole series of events is because Con comes back.

Absolutely, that's very true. Domino's. Totally. So, listen, folks at home, when you get the opportunity to shoot someone into space who's a fucking biologically engineered supermensch, fucking do it. Or even if they're not, if there's someone, if you have an opportunity to shoot someone into space, you should do it. Yeah, I would do it. Airlock that fucker.

And then that's, yeah, it's just kind of unceremoniously. They're dumped on SETI Alpha 5. Amazing episode. Amazing episode, more or less. Fantastic, yeah. I mean, it's warts. There are warts, but it's a lot of fun. It's the best episode we've done thus far.

And it leads to Rath of Khan, which is the best Star Trek movie. Well, yep. The character has presence. Yes, yes. And I don't think a lot of other characters that they bought up against. Mud did not. Mud did not. Any of the God people.

The military people. Clint Howard Yeah, not that as well He's got some gravitas And he's like fucking giving it to everybody He's a little too good for this show And he knows it and I love it And then he winds up

You know back You know and then 82 or whenever the movie comes out And he's fucking awesome again In that movie means He's acting circles around all of them He's a check on Shatner too You can tell Chattner doesn't like him Being on the set with him

I think you're totally right It's a perfect villain then Yeah So coming up next on TNGG things heat up a little bit there as well with an oily, gross, weird thing. Stay tuned. We're back on the Nexus of the episode in question for the episode in question for the next generation.

Skin of Evil. Original air date. April the 23rd, 1988. Mm. Indeed. Mr. Data, they used to call rubbers skins of evils. Hey, Mr. Data, tip for when you go on shore leave, buddy.

Wrap it up. Better put on a skin of evil. Or I don't know. Do you robots get down like that? Captain, I am fully functional. I hate wearing skins of evil. It doesn't feel as good. All the same.

Get the lambskin. The authentic experience. You're not truly human until you fucking a lambskin. That's the free ones they give away at the bookstores. No. Little penis sock.

So what we're doing, which is great, is we're picking up Troy. She went to a conference. Right. And there's this great line. It's like somebody talking to their elderly father. And Picard is just like, oh, Will, won't it to be wonderful to have Deanna back?

And then, like, Riker's like, yes, it certainly will, Captain. You two like sexually intercourse together, don't you? Oh, you think he's having a little bit of fun with it? He absolutely is. Oh, you probably wish you she was here. You probably missed her the kisser. Exactly, because Riker is, like, there's a big old smile on Will Riker's face, and he's like, it sure will be. And Viscard's like, oh, I bet you're excited, you little horn.

dog. Is that a picture of her on your hollow desk? Hollow desk. So we finally get, and it's almost odd, it's like, hey, hey, Tasha, what are you up to? And there's like some

regional fucking martial arts sort of it. Fucking funny. Yeah, the all valleys coming up. Totally. Warf is like, so Tasha, are you ready to take on the cobra Kai or what? See, you're being very insensitive. this is dirty talk

in Klingon. Oh, running it down. It's fucking awesome, though, because he's like, who is your first opponent? And she's like, I don't know, that dude who works at the barber shop? Terry Silver? Oh, boy.

And then he's just like, oh, you could easily dispatch with that pussy. Who's next? I'm Wharf and I want to know the entire combat lineup. Like, you know, we've got a shit to worry about. So Troy's ship goes down on a planet. Yep.

And we have to investigate. We get a vagra too. Which is a little too close to Viagra for my taste. Not that it was invented at the time of the show. I'm just talking about looking back. We must take off to Seyallis. Oh, yeah, dude, planet Seales, the fuck planet. You know, the great thing about that planet is it's all day.

You know what I mean? Yep. It's just whenever, it's ready when you're ready. It's crazy, man. The planet Seales is ready. You could be like painting something. You're like painting a shelf on a ladder. You have a painful boner that lasts like seven hours

You have to call the doctor Surprising amount of hammocks Oh yeah dude Because it's all like that fucking weird Like commasutra sex swing shit Yeah yeah yeah That's all those commercials are It's like oh he's in a tub

You know why man They're doing fucking sex tub And hammocks are like the test Oh yeah dude The test kitchen for a sex swing Yeah by the way man You want a quick two steps To a broken neck fucking a hammock

I'll see you later. People dare to imagine the possibilities. They do it all the time. I'm not saying it's safe. I'm not saying you should do it, but people fucking hammocks. People fuck anywhere. When they reboot final destination,

seek us out. Oh, yeah, dude, sexual destination. Oh, done, done. It's all done. It's all dying from sexual consequence. Also co-starring Tony Todd, which is weird. So there's a weird thing where they're just with the martial arts tournament again for two seconds where it's revealed that like several members of the crew are gambling on this tournament. Oh wait, I missed that line.

Because like it like Worf says something and she's like, oh, that's because he's like, the ship's pool says that your favorite blah, blah, blah. And she's like, but you guys are gambling? You placed a bed on me? No, I'm talking to the pool. It is a sentient being. people fucking pools also that too is gross I mean there's chlorine up your urethra

Mr. Data you still owe me for when I put Jordi in charge and the ship did it blow up so before we go on with Worf's fighty fight You're in the red mister But it's crazy because Warf again I think Hammond's right

I think these are fucking words because he's like It's a sure thing Yeah, just like you're getting fucking laid to Night Wharf. So they go, it's an away team to find out what happened to Troy's ship. It is Crusher, Riker, Yarr, and Data. Correct. That's the form of that's correct. And there's a puddle of goo and they're like, well, that's just nothing.

We'll walk past this puddle of goo. And I was actually kind of curious, are all these, and it's a dumb question to ask, are all these puddle of goo effects original or are they updated puddle of goo effect? I still, I don't think that the next generation Netflix shit has updated effects. I don't think so. Because someone fucking, you're listening, you know better than we do. Comment below.

And by the time I think about this and leave this apartment, I will not check it. So tweet us. It moving with them when they first come there, when they first land. It moved. That I think might be, that seems a little updated.

It's like dancing around. Yeah. It's like this. oil streak and I'm just thinking like is this Bob from Twin Peaks? Oh, fuck, that's right. It actually does, it looks the best when it's physical effect where you can actually see. Yeah, good ones

just goopy shit. I like it when it's a dude covered in oil. Yes, I think it's pretty chilling looking. Yeah, it's a goo ghost as I was calling. So, as you know, this is... Chris Cabin stars in Googos. Oh, shit, that's what happens to all those sperms when you waste them, you know what I mean? Like, they become

goo ghosts and they don't become babies. Oh, my God, so many. There's an army of goo ghosts. Sounds like the forward to fucking Mike Pence's autobiography. They could very easily invade Manhattan. Oh, my God. Better late than never. Fill the streets.

This is the... It's a river of goo ghost. The last episode of Denise Crosby, she had asked to be relieved of her contract because she just didn't like the show. Or she didn't like the way her character was written, which is totally fair because they never gave her anything do. But to be fair, they gave nobody anything to do in this first season.

No. You had to write it out. You had to write it out. I mean, you're going to do what you're going to do and it's whatever and, you know, this is 30 years ago so it doesn't matter. But like, jump in the gun. I mean, and you can kind of tell there was maybe a whiff of that because she pops up in later, like a later episode is like her sister or some shit or alter dimension or something. Fans went nuts because she was a popular character. Like, again, there weren't that many tough women. It's a tough woman, fucking chief of security. I was going to say, she, you know, sticks it out, different, you know, different dimension.

Terrence Howard also decides I'll take the first contract. I'll do what Denise did. Suddenly a lot more convention paychecks. I mean, she's doing fine convention-wise, trust me. Really? Oh, yeah. Anyone. They'll fucking see anyone.

Dude, Mott the barber makes appearances. I saw someone getting an autograph and photo with mop-bop. the cum jizz wiper upper for the hollow deck but she is very quickly dispatched by this goo ghost by this puddle of oil and very unceremoniously

and I think that's a little bit of a fuck you I think it's a you want out of your it's a reference that people listening will get but no one in this room will get you know it's Kawhi Leonard he wants out of the Spurs now oh fuck you're gonna go

you're gonna go to Toronto we're not you're gonna go to the Lakers no no no no fuck you you go to Toronto it's like oh you want out yeah we'll give you a teary farewell you get fucking killed by mud in the first nine minutes but then it's it's kind of great because this is it's a really it's a dud of a crusher line yeah wow there's a lot of those i know but this is particularly

bad because she actually gets to be kind of awesome later on like the next scene but like right here it's like she's doing her little i'm waving a fucking it looks like the the water filter in my goddamn british system yeah all these star trek like medical technological whatever's and then she's just like, she's dead. Yeah. She's dead. It should be, by my book.

It should be. And she's, she's been gorbacheved across her face. Yeah, I don't know what this mark is. It's supposed to be blood because she goes flying or whatever. But then what's weird is, yes,

that sort of unceremonies, but then like Piccar's like, now get everyone the fuck back up here, please. We'll start over. Wait, hold on, a puddle of what? Get everybody. Get the fuck back up here.

We can die. I thought medical technology was... Wait, wait, wait, wait. Was it mud or was it in oil? I need specific here. I haven't dead. I'm in person on my head. Oh shit, the brass is going to be here, man.

We need to get our story straight. What, she slipped on what? No one was drinking today. Sliped. Data, data, data, put... Erase your logs. No one was drinking today. Haven't you been watching this show?

I'm going to be on a high couch. so soon. Captain, it is against regulation for me to wipe my database. Look, no one needs to know about brunch. It was fine. And look, this little joint I have on my lips suddenly it's in my mouth.

And nobody's the wiser. Data, you know, I could break you in half if I wanted to. I'll melt you down right now, like your favorite goddamn movie Terminator 2 judgment you fucking metallic piece of shit. Well, Dr. Crusher's blood alcohol

level is 2.3, and I feel like if it was less, she may have been able to revive YAR. That was awesome, though, is like they beam her directly to sickbay and whatnot, and you have an actual, like, emergency room scene on NextGen. Yeah, it's kind of fun. But she is

like zap in this dead body's brain, man, because it's basically, like, put these, like, neural, whatever the fuck, you know, it's a headband, basically. And this dude's, like, just cranking up the voltage, and she's like, 70, 80.80.3. 90. And this dude's like

waiting for her temples to start smoking. Meanwhile, two ensigns are like, yes, they beamed Yard immediately back the sick day. Remember when Minetti died on Yargis 4 and they just left him there? I don't remember that shit, man. Mani was a good dude. We're going to turn her into

cat food. They really pick and choose the dead that they mourn on this show. But I got to tell you, there is a moment right here because he's one of the greatest actors that ever lived. Patrick Stewart walks into Sick Bay and he takes it like it's Picard

looking at what's going on and the look that he gives is like a general like oh fuck it's an actual actor's look and not a ham fisted whatever everybody else does on this show most of the time

so we get into a conference room we're trying to figure out what's going on and like Worf gets a sick promotion well now Worf congratulations it's been a long time coming buddy you're great it's an exciting new role that just came on board

about an hour ago I I was going to do this but it's a little early and then immediately Worf's like yeah I'm not going down there to confront the oil shadow I'll be better served up here it's a weird piece of cowardice that kind of goes unremarked

no it's a thing I think Picard is fucking with him like he's testing him right here because Riker's like all right we're going back down Mr. Worf let's go And he's like, no, now I'm the chief security officer. I would be better served here, monitoring, whatever the fuck. And Picard is like, well done, Mr. Worf. You passed.

Come on out here, y'all. She's not even dead. Well, this is a great introduction to the martial arts tournament. Let's do it, everybody. Everybody get your geese off. It's going to kick off now. Oh, Wesley, get out yet. Does this look familiar, Wharf?

Oh, it was Wesley playing the oil monster the whole time. Happy birthday, Mr. Warf. Oh, and by the way, Q doesn't exist. It's just Randy. Come on out, Randy. Hello, Picard. Dude, there is a fucking Randy character here, and I don't know how much longer this character is for this show,

but this goddamn Chief Engineer Lynch, They just needed to have Jordy in that position. That's where they're going and that needs to happen. Very stuffy. Yeah. It's weird because it's like, you know, Scotty was like the chief engineer in TOS and he's a character. Yeah. So like you would think, okay, well, a position to fill on this starship to make a character is the chief engineer.

This motherfucker's in like five episodes and he's a fucking flaming bag of dicks in every one. It's like a rotating cast of nobody. It's always been this lynch guy. Oh, it's always, okay. Yeah, he's repeated. And it's like, what are you? Who are you? What are we doing?

I mean, put anybody there. I don't even need to be the chief engineer. But fucking even the dreaded Wesley there. Oh, the dreaded Wesley. Look out. That's a move you don't want pulled on you. So they go back to the planet and this oil slick starts talking all sorts of bossy brass out of them. It's amazing.

Here's a question. This is a legitimate question I have because we're told later in the episode, that this creature basically... The skin of evil. Yes, the titular skin of evil. He's basically a plot device from Ghostbusters 2. Like, he's all the bad vibes from the planet that, like, came together and it's all the hate and whatever

and made this thing, right? It's like the venom stuff. What is that, that symbiote stuff? Is that what this is? No. Well, we're sort of told that, yeah, it's like made up of evil and whatever. It's just a goop. It's just a goop that can get on Spider-Men and make them evil.

Exactly. So my question is this. If that's what this thing is, how does it know what the Wizard of Oz is? Yeah. Because this thing is calling data 10-man left and right. What is my old, tin man? What do you think?

That's pretty cool, huh? Isn't the Wizard of Oz the most evil thing Earth is made? Therefore, I will call you by it. I mean, that's a thing. I would be so, it would be so much easier for me to enjoy this episode. If it didn't, if this oil slick thing didn't sound like the cigar baby from Roger Rabbit when he got old. Well, he's like fucking with, with a, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, a Diana there, Deanna, Troy, like, that's the thing. And like, it's kind of, because this thing is kind of just an internet troll come to life.

It totally is an internet troll. Because they go down to the planet and they're like, you didn't even register on our doohicies. He's like, oh, I didn't register on your duties. I'm because I'm not a person. Huh? Oh, I'm not a person. Oh, I'm not a person, Tin Man. How about this?

I'm going to start a fucking Twitter campaign to remake the Last Jedi. Fuck you. No fake. No fake. No fake. Look at these. You guys, you're a pedophile. Sorry, dude.

Just found out you're a pedophile. Oh, Mr. Tin Man's a pedophile. The interesting thing is the only way to get rid of him, which I think is actually the only way to stop Internet trolls. Yeah. is just to get them some therapy. Because every scene with Troy, she's just like, oh, you're so sad.

No, everyone else is sad. These movies just suck so much. And they're feminazis. You're just really lonely. No, I'm not. Feminazzi is a destroying manhood. J.J. Abrams is to blame for everything. No, I don't hate my mother.

I hate Ryan Johnson. Or more like Ruin Johnson. which is someone did tweet at me about Ruin Johnson. Oh man, take a long walk off a short peer fuck face. Yeah. It's just that's what this is right? It's just it's this guy

is just like just totally a nothing and lives on bile and shit which is why it's fucking great because like the end of this episode because of course Daddy's got to come down. Picard's got to come down and fucking see it for himself. The kids keep fucking it up. One of

the kids is dead and he's like all right, fine. I'll fucking go down. Didn't it? See to it that this thing gets a talking shoe. Let me get on my house slippers and who is stealing my paper. Didn't he? Riker gets gooped up. Oh, right. I forgot about

the goopening. That's pretty great. The best bit of trivial The best bit of trivia. This thing was made out of, I think it was Meta Musil and like printer ink. And the only thing worse is if you said printer ink and horse come.

LeVarburn. have to freaks afterwards like dude I wouldn't have got in that I don't know what the fuck you know dude I get you should get another show on PBS or something because I I don't need this shit like they they asked me to go in black goop I'm like no dude I'm cool

Picard did you hear there's going to be a female predator me me The most haunting image in this episode is when... You know what the most haunting image is, Picard, is that Sheirah doesn't have a rack.

I mean, like, what, what? Everyone's supposed to be androgynous? I mean, femininity's got hooners. Look at that. Look at those thunder cats. Show me a place I can put my dick in those thunder cats. I want to fuck the boss, baby. It's more attractive than you're Shira.

That's right. You do want to fuck the boss, baby. No, I don't. It's okay. Let's explore this for a second. You're the pedophile. You eat at that weird pizza place. No, I don't.

Now you're lying. You like pizza. Fuck you, Councillor Troy. I'm going to get you fired for decade-old tweets you already addressed. Listen, what I'm going to do is give you some small things you could do daily to make yourself feel little better. Wouldn't that be nice? Maybe. I like that you sound like my friend

prison planet. Sherlock Nomes isn't sexy enough. I think Sherlock Numbs is plenty of sex. What I'm saying is the most horrifying image in this episode is when Armis, which is the name of this internet troll, spits up

part of Riker's face and it's just this, like, detailless mask. Oh, it's fucking... Bone-chilling. Totally bone-chilling. Dude, I'm sorry, but, like, Rikers got that dude in his mouth a little bit. So he's bringing him, right? You're going to shit part of that dude back out, guaranteed.

And then he's on board. Exactly. Oh, pretty nice digs. Must be nice to have this much money. But, so, yeah, whatever. But, yeah, Picard comes down to bargain for Rikers' life. Right? That's what's going on here. Pretty much.

But then he really... starts fucking taking it to this dude because he's doing the whole like again it's another way to render trolls powerless it's just like dude I don't care yeah it's just like take Riker kill him I don't give a shit

the robot fine he's a toy fuck it well that's because he starts creot and trolling data is like I'm gonna make you kill yourself kill captain kill whatever data starts getting the upper hand right here because he's like wouldn't you feel bad if you killed your captain and data is just

like schooling this thing like no because you're controlling me so it technically wouldn't be me killing my captain it would be you stupid data what the fuck you're going to fucking blow the spot up man

take it easy all right this is totally not going in the report man shoot yourself data there's also a thing here where the goop is also making some sort of energy fields So, like, they can't beam Troy out.

They can't beam anybody out or whatever. So it's also, like, this distraction stuff is, like, it's distracting the monster from keeping the shield up kind of a thing. So, like, Picard really starts taking it to this motherfucker. They get Troy out. Everybody gets beamed out or whatever. And then it's just Picard and this dude. And he's like, fuck you.

I'm not taking you off shit. And just beams out. Because that's thing is like, well, there's some nonsense going on with Wesleyan War. if it's like, if it gets to 2.6 megalixels, it'll wobbling, blah, blah, blah. Jesus, dude, two words for that fucking shit, deleted scenes. Nobody fucking cares about your calculations.

I guess the idea is when he gets so upset and gets so horned up. Right. He loses control of his magic. That way it allows the beam to get through. But yeah, this thing's like, oh, yeah, man. No, no, no. The car's coming, dude.

Oh, my Uber driver, he says he's, oh, weird. It said three minutes ago. It's now four minutes, but I probably. Thomas, it'll be here in a minute. Looking for Fernando. Has anyone seen a black Nissan? No, it's 6642C, not that's 665. You didn't do the pool, did you?

Oh, fuck, I hate riding with strangers. No, no, no, that's a Chrysler. Stop even trying to help. So he zips off. And the best part is it's kind of a great. thing where like Picard you see a blaster go off to this to this surface and you're like

oh shit he just killed him and he's like well I just destroyed the cruiser so he won't be going anywhere right which is kind of awesome because it's like rot your loneliness internet troll fucker and then it's just like Picard's just like and by the way that planet is blocked

Federation knows now no one can go there yeah exactly what orange cones are going to go around yeah I mean this is the part where I think like the Prime Directive, fuck that, blow this shit up. Oh, yeah. This fucking surface to air missile. I imagine he just goes and he's like, let the payload go. Exactly.

Just don't put it on the report. We, it jostled free. Tasha Ya says hello. Oh, yes. See, that would be good. Instead, we get that lame-ass funeral where she was like, fucking God. If you were seeing this video, I've died and you're in a Star Trek movie.

are the rules. So you find yourself at the end of a Star Trek episode. I was waiting for the dead guy from Blind Melon to start dancing over the hell. Good Lord. That guy did not do a Holodeck video

before he died sadly. You didn't have the foresight. I have a few. It's all like if you're seeing this, I've died on the toilet. What I was doing in there was none of your business. The point is I'm dead.

And yes, it was embarrassing. my laptop is still a private space even in my death I gotta tell you cut to me last night watching this episode this shit I was kind of getting a little choked up

through part of it she addresses each and everyone the main cast one by one we get to data there's something like fucking lowly again that ensign is like oh wait they're just going can I oh it's a private funeral well you know

Yar was my partner in the martial arts tournament I mean I can't I don't her talking about me. Get out. Get out. I don't need randos in this funeral. This is a closed-door memorial service, mister. Don't you have a shift to get to? Wharf has nobody to talk fighty with. Do you really want to make a stink?

Like some of them are, you know, whatever. Like, oh, Wesley, you'll grow into a man or something. Fine, I don't really know you. That's okay. She gets to Data and she's like, Mr. Data, my friend. And I started kind of breaking. And when she starts... Dude, when she starts addressing Picard, I was just crying. Oh, really?

I was crying in this very chair you're looking at watching this last night, just crying at Star Trek. Just a stunning stark indifference. Yeah, I mean, I've watched all of her episodes now and I felt nothing. Well, because they use her poorly. Yes. But I do like, so they're going around, I do like she goes to war. she's like, I died with my eyes open like a war, he's like, oh, fuck, I'm...

Oh, my God, now I'm hard at a funeral. Awesome. Captain, could I get a copy of that funeral tape to masturbate too? Of course, buddy. It's just this, like, solemn thing, and she's talking, and he's like, ah! And then Data's just like, I don't think I got it, Captain. Wait, I feel

sad that she's not here to entertain me like usual. Oh, Data, you've... Wow, you've... You've made the funeral about you. which is the most human thing of all. You have come to a funeral for someone else and found a way to make it about you. You took a selfie in front of a coffin. That's the equivalent of what you just did.

And congratulations. Hashtag RIP grandma. Well, data. Unlike wharf, you cannot get violently horny. So you must deal with it in your own way. The only one I wasn't like Wesley, whatever, Beverly, whatever. Deanna's is a nice one. Well, she's just sort of like, Beverly, you were nice.

Beverly, you're a train doctor. Well, the best thing is that she goes, and Riker, you're the best. It's just sort of like that. Will Riker, you're the best. Yeah. Also not crying at that. But what's the most fucked up one, though, is goddamn Jordy's, where she's making sight puns.

Oh, yeah. Because she's just like, Jordy LaForge. You taught me to look around and appreciate things in a different way. You helped me see. different perspective and I'm like dude come on I'm glad my fucking disability was enlightening to you. Jordy you were

a living joke to me honestly you'll never find happiness a new wheelchair guy down in engineering you were always a ball he always seemed to be on a roll

exactly well I mean like also like is there any other blind person we've seen billions of people. I've never seen another blind person in Star Trek. No, not a one. Not a one. When she fucking says

that Picard has the heart of an explorer oh fuck it. Oh my God. Oh my God you guys. Both of these episodes are awesome. I want to know what you think of who wins. Well, quick thing, Diana is the only one crying and it says on the thing is like, oh, because she was really good friends of Denise Crawsby. No, no, no, no. She's the only actor, aside from Picard who can't

cry in this scene, who could get Like, you know what I mean? Like, everybody else is like, oh, like, you think fucking, no one else is going to start. I'll tell you what, though, I think, I mean, he couldn't because he's a great warrior, but it looked like Dorn could get there. He could get there, sure. Denise was fine. Oh, we were all right. So, Eric Susky, you want to know what I think?

I still think. You like this episode more than me. I can tell that. I did, but I still think TOS wins. It's a more historic episode. It's not even a discussion, I feel. You are such a fucking heartless prick. It is unbelievable Chris Cabin.

It is a discussion for me. It's for one reason only. TOS sweeps. TOS sweeps. Because TNG has me. I like that 30 minutes. I found that guy quite enlightening to be quite out. I don't know. What, the internet troll?

Yeah, I honestly, like, I was like, oh, wow, it's kind of, it's a weird thing about, like, it's not a bad episode. It's not a bad episode. It just sits there and stews and does nothing. I think it's a thing where the stuff that's interesting like that in this episode gets overshadowed because they killed off

a main character in it. Unceremoniously. Yeah, and that's like what everybody remembers about this episode. I saw someone was like on Twitter like, oh, you're doing a skinny of you. Oh, the worst episode of TOS. I was like, what have you seen six of them? First of all. But like everybody remembers this episode

for like, oh, the goo thing kills YAR. But there is so much about that. Like, it's fucking pointless to hold grudges and like, let of whatever. Like, it gets very Star Trek-Ecky once you get through the Goop. And I think, I mean, it's, it's, it's Space Seed by, by a mile. Yeah. But I do like this episode.

No, I do like this episode. No, I don't mean to be that dismissive of it. It's just two. Space Seed wins. It's, a classic character is born in Space Sea. Yeah. And that's, that's all there is to it. And the Goop is not classic.

Do you think that we, is it a weird thing, like, how excellent wrath of Khan is, is informing our? opinion about that? I think a little bit. I would say a little bit, but I'll be honest, I completely forget Rath of Khan. And that was like, and so when I was watching this, like, I was just, I was like commanded by the performance. Sure, sure, right. Like, he's just very, it's not that he's not great. He immediately knew what the character was. I get what you're saying about looking back on it, but I feel like Rath of Khan wouldn't have been great without this being great. Yeah, I think that's totally fair. And that is the August Nexus. Thank you so much for continuing to

support our Patreon. Until next time, I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Sadek. Chris Cabin. Eric Siska. Take it easy. Thank you.