We Hate Movies - Animation Damnation - G.I. Joe (Extra Weird Episode Edition) [CLIP]

Episode Date: June 24, 2019

On this month's Animation Damnation, the gang is gearing up and rolling out with the beloved G.I. Joes as the squad... what's that say? Travels back in time to ancient Greece? Oooooooo-kay! The episode in question, "G.I. Joe and the Golden Fleece," originally aired October 27th, 1986 and features such bat-shit crazy moments like—HEY NOW! This episode is for subscribers only! To get the whole thing, head on over to our Patreon page and sign up now! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I was listening to the theme song, you know, watching this last night, and it does sort of, it kind of, it starts off, G.I. Joe, and then the guy kind of's like, and we're going around, and we're going around, and we're going to do more. Yes. Yeah, I don't remember. The talk show. And the airline lost my luggage, and then I went back the next day, and I talked to Connie at the front desk, and she said that I had to come back the next day with three forms of ID, and then the American hero showed up. Yeah, exactly. So this time around, Cobra, it turns out, is looking to finally take the Suez Canal. Hell yeah.

Hell yeah. And one of these fucking idiots. I'm sick of not having that canal. Sick of the trade routes. And one of these guys, I don't know which Joe it is, mentions that, hey, if Cobra takes the Suez Canal, we might as well just put a big red X over the Middle East. Give it like a couple decades. We'll do that anyway. Like literally give you 14 years, brother man.

Just hold your breath there, Joe. You'll be totally cool with that soon enough. By the way, that's beachhead. of this lineage of stupid names. Beachhead sounds exactly like Peyton Manning. G.I. Joe recruited me. Well, Papa John asked me to come here, and I decided to do it.

The first Joe, you kiss, cannot beat Papa John. I will say, first of all, Papa John would be a G.I. Joe. Oh, definitely. He had to throw pizzas at people. Watch out, pizza man! He runs the commissary.

oh yeah he does but like so we're all GI Joe's where we're all hanging out we all have right jobs yep and like snake guys has his own thing he's probably horribly scarred it's fine we we understand it's snake guys deal he's got his issues beachhead just shows up with a fucking ski mask and everyone's like what is that guy's deal and nobody's asking questions exactly like I don't know like it's it's a bit weird beachhead you know if I just started wearing a ski mask every time we recorded yeah you'd be like well what's Steve's problem well if it was the thing where you're wearing a fucking ski mask and you were

like Slopes Master. You'd be like, okay, but what are you doing wearing that on the beach? What are you, the fucking Zodiac? I don't want up here on camera. G.I. Joe should get the Zodiac. That would help their fight against the fucking

cobra. It'd be amazing. Come on we got to go save the Suez Canal. He's got that fucking hood on with the fucking, what was it? Like that weird like Target symbol. And he's running up the beach with a fucking knife and some duct tape tying up some co-cofer

good and stabbing him in the war Zodiac stops point in that sniper I thought that school bus we got to save the Suez Canal Destro do you see how he spells words wrong for some reason but if he could be turned he would be a

powerful ally oh no Destro I've wasted my life trying to find out who the zodiac was my wife has left me. Chloe Seven-Ye has left me. Oh no. Destro, listen to this. There I am at the house of a man who collects

movie memorabilia. And there I am in his basement and things got really weird and I thought, all right, Cobrae, two things are going to happen here. One, he's going to kill you. Or two, even worse, he's going to try to make out with me. And I I high-tailed it. They're all wearing buns. This says, I'm not Cobra.