We Hate Movies - Episode 405 - Bad Boys (CLIP)

Episode Date: February 15, 2019

On this month’s exclusive patrons-only episode, the gang is chatting about Michael Bay’s first ever ‘splosion-filled feature, Bad Boys! What’s with Mike Lowrey walking into—WHOOPS! This episode is for subscribers only! If you want access to the whole show—plus dozens of hours of more sweet WHM content—head on over to our Patreon page and sign up! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

And this was another, like, I think a lot of the script was, like, fully improvised because, like, Michael Bay thought the script was garbage, which, yeah, he was right. Sometimes Michael broke clock is right twice a day, my friend. And that script is changed. So it was, like, the rock and what else? by the way it was originally intended for Dana Carvey

and John Lovitz No shit it was a piece of shit What's the matter? Jealous Not gonna do the movie Not gonna die Do you think that's how he turns down Projects at all times

Or how about like he played it as H.W. Bush The entire film Oh shit dude What if Actually you know what You know what he's gonna say that again I bet like not

Because he was like kind of friendly With Herbert Walker Because of the whole thing now that he's passed away right like maybe he's retired it but i think he will bring it out one last time phone rings right the carvey residence dana carvey picks up the phone it's like six a m george w bush is dead no no no no like this is a little bit in the future do you like from today like in the future right yeah george w bush hasn't died yet oh oh george w no no no no no fuck that guy no no no so the phone rings right and it's like uh is this dana carvey no yes it is like oh this is

uh toronto general oh hi how's it going Mike Myers has passed away he sends his family's wishes that you do the eulogy at the funeral Uh huh Nagada I just hangs up the phone

Or he goes, well isn't that special? See, if I had this kind of power, I would be getting in George W. Bush's phone number I'd be getting Jeb Bush's phone number and at 1 a.m. drunk I would just call up, I'm like, son, I'm still out here. Standing on your front lawn, boy. Come find me.

You know, that's kind of surprising there wasn't a church lady movie. Yeah, there probably were plans at some point. Yeah, you're totally right, though. You know what probably screwed that over was Stuart saves his family. Yeah, I bet, yeah. Because that was like the torpedo into the movies of like that era of SNL. And it's Pat did not do well. Also, it's Pat the movie probably.

had a large role to play in that. That's a fucking stink fest. What's the matter? You haven't vacuumed under your couch lately? Wow. You remember a lot? Yes, I do. It's from its Pat.

It's from Its Pat was on a lot, and I remember like, Charles Rockett, this is a guy to keep your eye on. Turns out he'd killed him. Still haven't seen it. Really? It's Pat the movie? I've avoided it somehow. Oh, Dave Foley's in it.

Oh, really? Does Dave Foley play Chris? Yes. Yes. Yeah. what a stupid thing very dumb that's a movie that's like boy it cannot escape the

1990s it's in a box that's like what I love about when they meet though like Pat and Chris god damn I'm saying compliments about fucking it's you're saying mini compliment you're quote your favorite why they're like doing their meat cute and they're like realizing they like each other

and like Pat or someone's just like you know what I hate bad boring movies and then Chris just like, I hate bad boy boy movies too. You're making me laugh about it. There, there, there, there. It's got its moments. It's not good, but it's got its moments. Oh, so this madam is murdered with a sledgehammer, by the way. Oh, right. Yeah. That's part of it. That's what. So Will Smith catches up with this guy,

and this guy like hits Will Smith or something. And this is when Taleyone calls the police station, Joe, Joey Pants answers. Oh, right. And this is like, this movie does not need like a fucking open door far as comedy situation here you're also missing that martin lawrence is in the middle of like trying to get phone sex going with his wife in the middle of the precinct he's about to take it out and start jerking off they're talking about red lingerie and all this shit and like do you like it do you like it marcus and like it's and then then joey pants comes in oh man joey pan's fucking boner killer dude that guy yeah that guy's a boner slayer Slaying all sorts of hard dicks in here

And it will truly be a world of bubs That's right That's right That's his journey That's his goal A wizard cursed me And I kill boners for a living War of the Planet of the Boners

A New Jersey wizard cursed me Don't come down here to fucking South Jersey With your hard dick I'll fucking slay it in half At the end of this You will lick my bump You'll remember the kid from Hoboken Look at you, Gandalfini Jr.

Get the fuck out of here. Oh, right. That guy's something new. He's playing young Tony Soprano in this David Chase movie. The first time I heard he existed. Yeah, I didn't know he acted. I knew he existed. He fucking found his poor father dead in the floor.

But I didn't know he acted. So, yeah, but so Talyoni calls and she's like, I need to speak to Mike Lowry. I will only speak to Mike Lowry. Oh, it's because the woman, Max was like if anything goes Tits up. Yeah. Mike Lowry is the guy you need to call. And he's like, you know what, Martin

Lawrence, you be him, he be you, you did, you know, doing that thing. And he's like, and that's what's weird is like, it's a bad administrative move on Joe Pantanano, the lieutenant. It makes no sense. Just talk your normal. She doesn't know what he sounds. Yes, you know, also that. But instead, Joey Pants is like, talk sexy or talk sexy. And like

the loosest, loosest cupping of the receiver. Like, she is heard all of this I was thinking he's like put your fucking hand back over that fucking phone

they're talking they're yelling at each other louder than they talk on the phone but that's the thing like if you

want to cup a phone receiver hold it away from you and then whisper something that's one thing but he's just

like sort of holding it and he's screaming his head off his fucking bald head off we both know that Mike Lowry

isn't here why is there a dialto what happened hello hello hello fuck

our only witness and she fucking hot off of me but there's also it's also weird like now you gotta be sexier like Mike Lowry's sexy don't you know

how sexy Mike Lowry sounds no sexier than that but I mean like this is like the thing that's supposed to I mean like delineate it from like a lethal weapon it's like oh

in a lethal weapon movie they wouldn't switch place it's like I guess who cares but like it's such a stupid device you've got your I mean I'm fine with this being a lethal weapon clone because it's just like it's a little weapon

clone but it's in the 90s and it's too cool young up and coming like black actors awesome it's hip as fucked that's a movie I'll watch you know what I mean I don't need any more of a hook than that I don't need any more of a hook than that