We Hate Movies - Gleep Glossary: A Star Wars Story #6 - Melas the Sarkan (CLIP)

Episode Date: June 21, 2019

On this entry into the Gleep Glossary, Eric tells the tall tale of a guy that didn't always exist in the Star Wars Universe: Melas the Sarkan! Vaping his way across the galaxy, Melas was only added to Star Wars when—HEY NOW! This episode is for subscribers only! To get the full scoop on Melas, head on over to our Patreon page and subscribe today! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sarkin culture originally revolved around a caste structure as a holdover of this time, Sarkins in later years almost always traveled in groups of three or more. Lone Sarkins were usually outcasts from Sarkin culture, exiled for some offense committed on Sarka. Sarkin's used a single name. Typical Sarkin names included B-Nir, Demystic, Ralph, B-P-P-E-P-E-N-A-Nus, G-A-N-I-S. G-A-N-I-S. G-A-N-I-S. G-A-N-I-S. It's unfortunately not an anus, though. Siron, Sanus. That sounds like a watching Game of Thrones over here.

Ty Bellar and Yuvala. and the runt sepher off Sarkins valued the natural beauty of their home world especially its dense jungles and bejeweled mountains. I know some of this is repeating because it's Wikipedia. Yeah.

They got jewels. We got it with the jewels. Fucking amateur hour on this Wikipedia dude. We're going to skip to history here. When the Galactic Empire was in power, the Sarkins reluctantly relaxed their protocol requirements when dealing with humans and while negotiating with corporations with

strong imperial connections. Lord Vader, this greeting process is going to take eight hours. Well, it's like, oh, welcome to Sarkin. Let us start the dance. Whitesaber. Okay, that's over. We're good. The brilliant thing about Darth Vader is with that

helmet man, he could just go to sleep. He's just sleeping and watching the dance. And what of you, Lord Vader? What about your sexual conquests? No, no, it's great. He's fallen asleep. This changed after the Sarkins learned of Palpatine's death,

refusing to... Your sad devotion to that ancient religion hasn't helped you at the rebel base, or there's still a... Could someone wake him up, please? I'm all the way down at the other end of the table. I do it myself, but I can't reach him. He has a TV in there.

Dude, that would be awesome. You just live it inside your own little clubhouse. Is he watching Happy Days? I'm sorry, I can chat. Oh, did you see the jukebox gag? Or he just hits it and it turns on a song. After Palpatine's death, they reverted to their old ways. In one instance, they surprised a representative from Sorosub by demanding a formal greeting

and cut off trade relations with Sorosub for several years, the demands were not met. Yep, you got the Sarkans. Meeting with George Soros, son. It is actually spelled exactly like Soros, but with a U-U-B after him. Turn to frickin' carillion's gay. After the fall of the Galactic Empire,

the wealthy Sarkins became one of the most powerful factions in the New Republic. During the Thron campaign, now these guys are the throne trilogy was written before this ain't canon well the throne trilogy is no longer canon yeah but flush it

don't you dare but don't you flush that toilet as an expansion for the roll home Thank you.