We Hate Movies - Making It So #1 - "Remembrance"
Episode Date: January 29, 2020SPOILERS AHEAD FOR STAR TREK: PICARD (OBVIOUSLY)! On the debut episode of Making It So, WHM's all-new Star Trek: Picard recap show, the gang is chatting about the series premiere of the latest Trek en...deavor that gets off to a... mostly okay start! How rad is it seeing Picard running his family vineyard? What was with that acid spit bomb device? And boy, can Data sure paint a pretty picture! PLUS: Marvel at the slo-mo car crash that is Andrew trying to explain the Kelvin Timeline! Making It So is a Star Trek: Picard recap show that, going forward, will only be available on our Patreon. Just like we did with The Mandalorian Half-Hour, please enjoy this first episode on us, and then head on over to our Patreon page to make sure you're subscribed—don't miss out on a minute of all-new Trek chat! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello, I'm Andrew Jupin.
Steven Zedek. Chris Gavin.
Eric Siska.
And we're making it so.
Hello, everyone. Welcome to Making It So, a Star Trek Picard podcast.
Thank you for supporting our Patreon endeavor here, although this pilot app, you might notice, on that free feed, baby.
Right. Going forward, all other Picard, because we're recapping every episode.
Every app. And some of these are going to be in studio. Some of them are going to be done remotely.
But going forward, there are all the other episodes. If you want to keep hearing, if you want to keep making it so, you've got to go to patreon.com.
slash we hate movies and sign up for our nexus level,
which is our Star Trek podcast anyway,
which is at the $8.
Which is also the highest level.
And you're not just getting that.
You're getting what we call the Nexus,
which is an episode of Star Trek, The Next Generation,
and Star Trek, the original series, back to back.
You like our Picard impression here.
You will get a quarterly commentary.
We did Predator just pretty recently, which is awesome.
You get also everything at the $5 level,
which is our monthly We Love Movies episode.
We just recorded an episode on Back to the Future,
part two. Oh, absolutely.
That's going out in February. Can I say
by the way? Sure. It's a quick
little like teaser
into the future. Speaking of back to the future
too, where they go to the future.
Go to the future a little bit, the
Q2 of 2020.
Speaking of commentaries.
OQ,
come on in. Financial
quarter again. Speaking of
commentaries, confirmed.
The second
commentary of 2020, we haven't figured out the first one yet.
We know what that second one is, baby.
We already got the fucking totally baller
Philippe Zbrero cover art.
It is the Catsman Terry.
That's right.
This summer, come in this summer, we can say.
Sure.
And by the way, on YouTube.com
slash we hate movies,
there are some sample clips
of our commentary tracks.
If you're curious of what this is actually
like and about.
Yes.
And you also get at the $5 level
our entire archive,
which is 100, our first 100 or so episodes.
So that's a ton of content.
Totally.
And the $3 level, you get animation
condemnation, which is a 30 to 40-minute
cartoon that we're just talking about and having
a lot of fun with. We've been on Patreon for
a few years now. If you
pledge for the $8 level, you unlock literally
everything we've ever done.
Some people get confused. Some people
get confused. Oh, is this just for this
month's stuff? No, no, no. You get everything we've
ever done. Everything. Yeah.
So anyway, Star Trek Picard.
Episode 1, remembrance.
Um,
I mean, it's so weird. How do I
start talking about a Picard show? We've been
talking about Picard and his fucking wacky adventures for years, but this is a little bit different
of a show, a little bit different tonally, addressing some different things here. It starts with
data hustling Picard at some cards here. Absolutely. I watched this at work during lunch and I
kind of wish I didn't because I was like, oh, fuck, am I going to cry at work? Yeah. They're playing
poker, man. It's been fucking so long. If you cry at work, just go, oh, paper cut. Paper cut. I'm being
emotionally abused by my superior.
Like, congratulations.
Yay!
I thought you didn't like
watch this to work because you were going to run out to the OTP.
Is that guy working
for Amy Klobuchar?
No.
Yeah, I mean, we start off
with this kind of like really nice
trip through the galaxy that turns
into we see the old Enterprise D.
So right away, you know it's a dream.
That ship famously was destroyed at the end of
Star Trek Generations. Well,
it was destroyed at the end of Star Trek Generations.
A movie from 1994.
Stay tuned, by the way.
Absolutely.
So, yeah, it's Data and Picard.
They're playing poker.
And I believe it's supposed to be like 10 forward, which is kind of cool.
And it's a nice thing because the television show ended the final scene,
because Picard finally joins them for poker.
So this is, he's playing poker with data.
And immediately, because the ship was destroyed, I know it's a dream sequence.
And Data's a little, I don't know if this is on purpose or just because of the CGI to make him look
younger he looks a little off
you know what I mean I think that might be a little on purpose
I didn't know that
androis could eat chorizo
you know what cammon
fucking time comes for us all dude
but to Steve's point though like the makeup
is like flatter
and his contacts and I was
fucking nerd complaining about this
off the air but like they look like
contacts from B4
like B4 had way more dilated
pupils which this version of data had
and regular data had, you know, less dilated.
Mr. Data, eating too many microchips on the couch, I see.
Oh, yes, Mr. Data.
I see you like the Cape Cod salt and vinegar microchips.
Mesquite barbecue microchips as a snack.
What is this?
Is it just a hot pocket full of wires?
You're obviously, we're kidding.
It's just a funny thing to say.
You know, microchips aren't on all the time food.
They're a treat.
Then I like a microchip now in a kid.
I actually think he looks better than I expected.
No, he does.
And he's doing it too, which I love.
He's doing data.
He's fucking selling it.
He's doing fucking data.
And we see him later in the uniform.
I'm like, oh.
Yeah.
That painting.
I'm like, oh.
Yeah, that fucking uniform.
Data from behind.
That might be in my Google search system.
Just see it from behind painting.
It's cool.
And, you know, it's, there's just, it's a bittersweet moment where, like,
Picard knows that he's bluff.
or he realized that data is artificially creating a tell
and they're going back and forth about what the bet might be.
He's like, Captain, are you still?
He's like, no, Mr. Data.
I just don't want this to end.
And that's what I was like, oh, shit.
Dude, yes, strapping for the feels, man,
because they're all here.
I will say it's awesome.
I want to know what Jean-Luc Picard is smoking
because I want to start finding the stuff
that makes my dreams start giving me clues to adventures
that have not started yet.
Methanphetamine.
I mean, because it is like this whole conversation
about like tells and, you know,
how you relay information and all of that shit.
Clearly we'll come into play later
as we see already at, you know, this first episode here.
But man, yeah, my dream is just giving me hints.
That'd be great.
My dreams are like all terrible.
If they could be interesting or make me cry.
Sure.
I'm always being like,
chased by an opossum or something.
I had a fucking dream the other night
where I was just stuck in a bathroom.
Oh, dude, that's just you reliving memories.
Yeah, I know.
It's definitely happening before.
It's shitty. It sucks.
I had a dream once where my mom invented
Diet Peach Snapple.
Like, that's useless.
That gives me nothing.
Bet you wish she did that, though, huh?
She built an empire out of it or what?
Popular flavor.
Dude, did you dream that your mother was Wendy the Snapple lady?
No, but I just knew that she invented
Diet Peach Snapple.
Sure.
She was a cock at it.
Did she also invent pine sauce?
So then this whole
This nice card game
And that fucking line
You're right
I don't want the game to end
Is all interrupted by Picard going
Well look at that Mr. Data
I didn't know we were making a trip to Mars
Huge fucking explosion
Oh Lordy it's great
He wakes up
And this is kind of the thing where like
I kind of
I love where this goes
I actually was more surprised
That I liked the adventure of this
I just kind of want
the first 20 minutes of this forever.
This is the show. It's just him
with these two Romulins.
Wait, living in this like French
Chateaupegastop a card.
Dude, what the fuck's going on? He's living
like a caveman.
Right? For anyone in the real world,
it's like, what, you got curtains, dude? Really?
No, he's an admiral.
We haven't had curtains for hundreds of years.
What are you doing?
Who's fucking curtains over there?
It's fucking crazy.
Right?
It's like, oh, wait, a wooden chair?
He's a fucking crazy person.
It's how a Ted Kaczynski like.
You have an actual TV?
Jesus.
Oh, yes.
Tube televisions only, please.
It talks to me.
It tells me what to do.
So does number one, my dog.
No, like him, like ambassadors come to him to like have political box or something.
Oh, totally.
Stuff like that.
I could see that working.
And actually, I would have preferred that too.
Yeah, it's so dignified to, obviously.
Yeah.
It's he's doing some good work
I will say to the number one point
Like I have nicknames for Chris
I've called you stabs in the past
I call you crabbing sometimes
If I if we stop podcasting
And then 20 years from now
You come to my house
And I've got a dog named crabbin
You'd be offended right
You're gonna hear about it
Just just be ready for it
Offended wouldn't you
I don't care if your family's there
I don't care of a wife there
I'm gonna give it to you
Do you think it's
How ugly is the dog
Do you think it's
thing, though, where he was like, you know, I don't think I'm ever
going to see Will again.
Eh, fuck it. I miss saying it.
It's like the way it feels
on my tongue. I'm not going to call
this fucking Romulan servant
of my number one. You were
named after the dog.
No, Will you misunderstand. Of course,
you're number one in Starfle.
This dog's named after me taking
a piss.
I love, there's
a, I don't know, some interview that he
did maybe Patrick Stewart says that he insisted that number one be a pit bull yes to showcase that
pit bulls are not vicious monsters that they are often portrayed to be fucking love that because
he's a good Patrick Stewart's a dog guy he walks on water this guy he speaks out against
domestic violence he lifts up pits pulls and he's fucking Charles Xavier and Jean-Luc
Picard at the same fucking die incredible this dude has been dealt an amazing hand that he has played
amazingly. And he's
great, he's actually great in this actually.
I don't know what we think about.
It's an older performance, certainly.
Yes, and he's, a lot of people
were like talking about, oh, I'm getting worried about him or whatever.
Like, I've seen him doing press for this.
He's playing Picard
as a older, infeble
kind of whatever.
But, yeah, so we then
cut to, we're told, the greater Boston area.
It's awesome seeing
Earth cities. I think the
coast in general is not its change of pace.
Yeah, that's true. We're always in San Francisco
with Starfleet. I agree with you
though, too, because it's like so much
with this pilot is that it takes so much
it's the most time we've spent on Earth
ever practically. I think probably since
Kirk's birthday party in Rathakhan.
I mean, some of those Abrams movies hang out on Earth quite a bit.
Sure. We're doing a lot of business in the Starfleet headquarters.
I'm talking to my ass, obviously, but it's fun to see
explore Earth a little bit. No, it definitely is.
I mean, it's similarly, we
sort of talked about this on the Mandalorian
Half Hour, just the idea of like these
established universes that we've
played so much in, seeing
like lower stakes
areas of them, like the
farming elements of Star Wars.
And like in this, just with Trek, like
yeah, here's this girl
with her boyfriend having a night in
in, you know, Greater Boston, we're told
talking about, you know, she got
accepted to this like robotic school.
Ah, yes, Greater Boston.
The only city that's still racist.
They cut to Boston
The Dropkick Murphys are playing somehow
Oh, that fucking song, are you kidding?
Shipping up to what?
It's been fucking 400 years.
Are you actually using a ship?
Just talk to me real on real here.
Are you using an actual ship there, Dropkick?
Well, I've been dead for years,
but this is Bones McCoy.
Drop it in to say that's classic music.
I'm a holograms
Yeah, so this
woman, I want to get the actress's
name here. The character's name
is Daj. This is Issa Briones
is playing Dodge.
She's talking with her boyfriend, have a little flirtatious
night in, and then
whoops, what's that? A bunch of fucking
motorcycle-looking dudes.
Yeah. Beam into this apartment
fucking murder this guy immediately.
They throw a fucking knife into his heart.
It looks like a fucking, like,
Kling on dagger or something too.
And it seems like this is like a blade runner-esque plot
apparently that's being carried out here.
Yes, definitely.
The idea of like it's a robot
that doesn't know it's a robot.
But more of a 2049
because of the fatherhood's angle
that comes up.
Totally, totally.
Yeah, so there's this whole thing,
you hear these dudes,
the guy like speaks in Romulan
and then this guy's like,
speak English, which reminded me
of Die Hard with Avengers.
Oh, right.
It doesn't speak English, do you?
Otto.
Karisha Karasks.
And then
they put a bag over her head
and then all of a sudden
one of them just yells
she's activating.
And this girl
just fucking murders
these guys.
Is she peeing her pants?
No, no.
She's activating.
She's turning into a super killer.
So that's like, you know,
it's weird because I feel like
it's more action than I was expecting.
The Abrams movies
introduced like high octane action to Star Trek and I'm still not entirely comfortable
with it but like in the confines of this apartment I was like yeah that's fine you're just
having a super choreographed fight I got into it a little bit I was I was cool with it
proper characters I think makes sense so we're obviously going to talk about the entire
show and there's spoilers here but my you know I called the data daughter thing right here
oh did you really yes mish's data right did my notes
do you recall like what made you
thinking at or? I was just like a
young, a young robot. I'm like
data was at the start. Yeah. If we're going to make a data
thing. But so you thought right away that she was a robot
versus like some sort of Jason born
sleeper cell kind of. Uh huh. Interesting.
Wow. Look at this guy. Superbrain. Dude. A psychic Star Trek
fan over there. I see. Let's talk about the interview
that he gives. Yeah. It's him. It's the day of this big interview.
and he's got these two Romulan
They're not servants
They work for him
No yeah they work on the vineyard
I think they also just live in his house
They have like Scottish accents
Which is weird to me
A little strange
Like just the woman does though
Right does the dude also
Maybe maybe not
But even still like a Scottish Romulins
Kind of a question mark
It's fine
Scromulins
Well apparently there's this
Angus Romulan
There was
He Picard led this huge
Relocation effort
Maybe a few went down
in the Scottish Highlands for a few years.
That actually kind of makes sense.
I don't know. Yeah, and that could totally
feel. This guy looks like an overcooked Robert John
Burke. Yeah, a little bit. Oh, I
could see that. Yeah, totally. Put him in the
food dehydrator. This is the way it looks like.
And he doesn't usually give interviews.
He's never given an interview, they say.
All right. Okay. It's a podcast.
Okay. All right. Who
are my guys? Well, James T.
Kirk is one of my guys.
Ambassador Spark, of course.
Carrot Top
Specifically not Wesley
Who? Don't worry about it
Oh shit Adam O Picard
You're that guy
Starfleet right
Oh yeah
Oh you got assimilated by the Borg
Fuck you're that guy
Yeah you know oh you knew Worf
Yeah me and Warf used to work the door
At the comedy story
ripped off somebody's arms
Because he didn't want to pay
who's heckling Kinnison
Hackling Kinnison
is crazy night
Mitzie comes out
fucking blasted on Coke
she starts yelling
and cling on at this guy
her and Worf had a fucking fight
to the death right there
in the lobby of the store
Or maybe they're all reincarnated
right?
I'm like Maren Jr.
Yes
Mitzie the 13th or something.
Mitzie the third.
Yes. Missy the third.
So, you know, he's kind of nervous.
The guy's like, don't worry about it.
We've, you know, said multiple times,
they're not going to bring up your departure from Starfleet.
And this lady's a Terry Gross.
She says one thing and she's going to talk about something else.
Seriously, bad move on that, Terry.
Working for, what, crooked FNN?
Jesus Christ.
So this interview plays out.
It starts off like kind of okay.
It's a Remembrance Day.
This big event in Star Trek history.
Which I thought was nemesis and then I had to look it up, but it's not nemesis.
It's not.
It's what's invented by the 2009 Abrams movie.
This is the whole Eric Banna thing.
So basically, Romulus, the star is going supernova.
Picard is arguing, hey, we have to evacuate all these Romulins.
everybody's not having it
because Romulins are the fucking age old
enemy of the Federation. This is in the
different timeline than the 2009
movies. Yeah, this is about to get really
fucking narrative. Also, like that was in the past
comparatively to what this is. So what the
if you like
read fucking nerd
literature about this, which I had to do, I didn't
understand it right away. But so basically
the sun going supernova
happens and this is what
Eric Banna's character
escapes from.
Escaping.
That's right.
And Spock follows him
and they go back in time
to where they land.
Okay, gotcha.
And so Eric Banner
destroys the USS Kelvin,
which is what George Kirk is on.
And that's why they call it the Kelvin timeline.
So Spock is alive in basically right before this show.
Yeah, because Spock is in next generation
for like an episode or two.
Yeah, he comes on a couple of times.
And so basically what happens is Picard is like,
hey, we got to do this, you know, there's Romulins,
we got to save these people.
At the same time,
a rogue team of Androids
attacks the Mars base,
the colony on Mars or whatever.
A port, I think.
Yeah, some sort of trade port or something.
Kills 92,000 people or something like that.
So the Federation decides,
hey, man, you know, this tragedy happened.
We're going to deal with this.
Fuck you, Romulan.
Sorry about that.
Picard, this causes
the falling out. The Starfleet decides they're not going to do this, you know, rescue
mission. That does also sort of explain why Spock is alone chasing after this guy without
They also ban all synthetic life. Yes. Which is fucking bonkers.
So does this mean if Spock was to show up in this show, it would have to be an old Zachary
Quinto? Like, that's what I didn't get. He's already gone at this point. Spock is, it's funny that
we just did this episode. I'm back to the future too the same night we're talking about this.
but so in this
timeline that Picard is set in
Spock
the Spock that hung with
Kirk
yeah yeah yeah
leaves and goes back in time
and that's like 10 or 20 years ago
Quinto is in another timeline
yes
that won't ever meet up with Picard
so basically like
yeah Picard the show is like
the regular 1985
yeah and then
that Spock went into this other timeline
which is the alternate 1985
where Zach
Quinto is. So Eric Banna, but Eric Banna is in both timelines. No, Eric Banna also left. Eric Banna's
timeline was regular 1985. He went back in time. But he died back then. Remember that great
Eric Banna line? Two Spocks with the same God. With the same phaser, dude. Faser poison.
I do like this idea for Picard, why he leaves Starfleet. It's just very Picard. It's also very
like political. It's very now. You know what I mean? Like it's very, people aren't, you know,
Even if you don't, you know, they're not our friends.
We still, they're still human beings kind of a thing.
Right.
And that's also very Jean-Luc Picard.
Like that's what he always did.
Absolutely.
Absolutely. He's a very humanist figure.
It fits in fucking perfectly.
Just until we figure out what's going on.
Yeah, exactly.
We're banning Romulans.
Well, the Remins they donated so they can come.
We're three years into the Romulan ban.
Jesus Christ. Have none of you seen three kings?
It's all there, folks.
It's great, Earth.
movie.
Klingon Cinema leaves something
to be desired. It's all snuff films.
I love Klingon
Cinema. I have Don Jr.
the 15th. Fast forwarding
to all the best murders.
My favorite is
Black. Look.
Oh, everybody loves Bluck, Fluck, Lick.
So, Blak, Millionaire.
And who could
who could forget? Black, Black, Black, Three.
Black, Blak.
me the return of black black
I like that they brought Shane
black back
yeah so
this reporter brings up Starfleet
he gets fucking pissed off
he tells this lady off
yes and it's kind of funny because
right around here I was like is this supposed to be
sort of like a Fox News kind of character
question mark she could be pulling a Terry
Gross though that's a straight up fucking National
Public Radio my friend
but yeah so the interview's over with
kind of thing but it's a nice way I wasn't
I've seen this episode twice now.
I wasn't thrilled the first time
with how the exposition plays out.
This time, I was more fine with it.
I was kind of weird because he's like,
yes, you might know a good reference for this.
It was Dunkirk.
You mean the movie?
It was an actual thing.
I love that movie.
He does fucking straight up,
say to this one,
you have no fucking idea what Dunkirk is.
Yeah, that's amazing.
You aren't trying to be this fucking expert and, you know, whatever.
And while this is happening, the interviews airing all over the place,
Dodge walks by, you know, a storefront or something that's playing it and sees Picard.
She has had a recollection of Picard's visage in her mind.
One thing mildly, well, not mildly, but just not explored here, is are we transporting?
Are we fly into places?
Do we have, you know, or teleporting, you know?
For one, for one particular scene a little bit later than we'll get to a sec.
Yeah, I do think we're trying.
We're using transporters, planet-to-planet transportation, I think, is happening.
So we're back at Chateau Picard.
Daz shows up.
Picard's like just chilling, drinking tea, which I fucking love.
It's Earl Grey Decaf, by the way.
The old fake ticker can't take the caffeine anymore.
You know, honestly, ever since I've gotten older, I have teleporters on every floor of the house.
It makes it easier.
Computer, bathroom.
Bathroom.
He does the Homer thing
He unsipsed it
Oh yes
Homer no
It's just easier this way
I get up three times
A night to take a piss
And yes I use the teleporter
It just makes it easier
So
Dosh shows up at Chateau Picard
And she's like
Hey man
I don't know what's going on here
Do you know me
You're in my
My memories here
You know who you are
She does have a great line
Somewhere in the sequence
Where she's like
I know you because you're the great man.
Yes.
You know, like, it's such a weird thing.
But like, yes, everyone on earth would know Jean-Lucre.
Oh, another fan.
Yes, okay.
What do you want to hear about?
Yes, my adventures with the sexy Doctor Crusher, perhaps.
Or how I hate that filthy Wesley.
Would you like me to sign your cleavage or something?
I mean, I've been through the circuit.
A picture is $40, an autograph is $100.
Do you have a DVD?
I can do that.
too.
Right now in the
upper concourse
Captain Jean-Luc Picard
signing, what's that?
Signing cleavage and DVDs
only.
We have another dream sequence
which I love. This is the data from behind
painting. We're in the fucking
super old school uniform which I love.
Painting a picture of a woman. Would you like to finish it,
Captain? Yeah. Fucking great. We get a
image of this painting here
it's like a woman in a big dress
yeah and he looks and he has the same painting
in this room he's like not that clue
oh say my dreams are giving me all sorts of clues
I love so we talk about he goes to
the Starfleet museum
and archive oh yeah fuck I would have a fucking
season past this institution man
because Dodge goes off in the middle of the night they have this conversation
he takes her necklace it's not that super
important it's a nice scene but yeah right
Yeah, she bounces.
But yes, this is one of those things like,
oh, fuck, I can watch the archive show forever.
Yeah, totally, dude.
I love this little index character.
Yes.
This woman's cool.
Just sort of like this VR, like...
It's a hologram, I think?
Yes.
He's got like a safety deposit box, kind of.
Dude, when you're Jean-Lick-Bacard, you have to, man.
Yes, I've got three guns, six IDs,
200,000 in loose cash.
Just in case it gets hot here, man.
Lose Vulcan cash as well.
It's where I've always wanted to retire, you know.
Vulcan.
In this timeline, I think Vulcan is still fine.
Yes.
Vulcan blows up in the Kelvin timeline.
Yes, yes, that's Klingon pornography.
Don't look at it.
You can't look at it.
You'll never be able to unsee it.
That's why I keep it in this vault.
It's truly horrifying.
Have you seen that crazy 88 scene from Kill Bill?
It's essentially that.
But with clings.
It's just as bloody, if not more.
Just Klingon's fuck fighting.
Oh, look at that fat one.
There I call him Charlie Brown.
Oh, he'll get into it later.
I watch it, but once a year.
He has to go by the pizza or whatever.
Why are they going to make that third one?
I mean, I'm this old and they still haven't done it.
there's the like Dodge at one point is like you know she's got nowhere to go it's this weird thing
where like she calls her mother and the mother's like just go to Picard no no no no you gotta find
Picard my thing is like is this person real yeah I don't know what that is because like spoiler alert
Dodge is a robot yes and so like is this like the creator well she doesn't know she does this thing
where it's like oh um I didn't tell you where I was it's one of those things where it's I didn't
tell you this information and she's like, oh, oh, oh. Yeah. I got a heavy Edward
Furlong's aunt and T2 vibe from it. Oh, totally. Yeah, like
there was either she's being, like she's playing her or she's got a gun to her head
somewhere. Right, right, right. Or she could be a hologram that is just like talking
shit. Yeah. Because like, Dodge keeps saying stuff like, you know, oh, I'm from Seattle
and blah, blah, blah. She, so she's like, you got to find Picard. She gets into robot mode
again, uses her little device to track him. I love that Picard immediately
tells you're like, oh, your memories
are fake. Oh, no, they're real
to you. Yeah. Oh, it's cute
that they're real to you, but they're fucking
fake. Look, the robot thinks it's a
person. Oh, this is
adorable.
Hey, Lira, it's actually, come out there.
This thing thinks it has memories.
I mean, obviously what he
should do is just
immediately take her, build
the thousands of data's and
stuff. Sure. To
overthrow the Federation. That's it.
Fuck, dude, an army of data's, that'd be rad.
Just breaking necks, and then suddenly Picard is, like, president of Earth.
King of Earth.
Yes, exactly.
So Picard is talking about something that has been referenced on TNG before,
but we've never seen it, the Daystrom Institute.
Oh, okay.
He does say Data always wanted a daughter, which is a reference to the episode Data's daughter.
Oh, that's right where he, it's fucking sad as hell.
It's a creepy one, yeah.
He makes a little creation, but then, like, her fucking, like, positronic net just fails and it dies.
Care me.
Dude, it's kind of like that.
I mean, this thing, it looks unsettling.
What is it just a computer?
No, I mean, it looks like a, it looks more or less like a person.
It's a little girl.
I just, I feel like if I'm on the enterprise and I'm trying to do my job, and like this fucking eight-year-old girl walks by,
was like, oh, data baby, daughter.
I'm like, can I just fucking live on this ship?
Must this happen?
You know what?
Just send me to engineering.
Nobody's coming in there all the time with this.
Everyone says it's the prize fucking job on Starfleet.
My ass.
You know what?
I'm putting in for a transfer.
I'm done with this.
I'm putting in for a fucking transfer.
Oh, wait, now the robot's sad because his daughter is dead?
Can I leave this ship?
Is there fucking space on the Excelsior, please?
Jesus Christ.
There has to be.
less egos and shit on those other ships
no you're like the celebrities
yeah exactly they could do whatever they want
hot shots
at least they're not referencing Melville and shit
you know how many plays they have the
Excelsior a week zero
I love it there
precisely no poetry readings
no I've never heard of Dashel Hammett
can you please take me
please take me
man so yeah he's like dash
here's the deal i'm pretty sure you're a fucking
robot we're gonna get to the bottom
of it we're gonna go to the daystrom institute
man these fucking romulans
beam in again starting shit
I'll tell you the funniest part of this episode
I think
Dodge is like all right we gotta get out of here
we're under fire and dude
the stunt double for Patrick's Dewart
running away from this like phaser fire
from behind looks exactly
like Bruce Willis
it's so fucking fun
Maybe it was him.
Or the same stunt double, probably.
Yeah, I mean, they both got the shoehorn, man.
Or a horseshoe.
And what's not a stunt double is Picard going under something to hide for a little?
I was like, I can get, all right, that's good.
You young people have fun, though.
A dodge fucking kicking ass again right here.
I really love, let's see what we feel about this.
I really think the jump is cool.
The super jump.
Oh, yes, it's very cool.
Yeah.
And again, it's one of those things.
Like, you can be a prig and be like, why didn't data ever do it?
Well, because they didn't film it that way.
We couldn't fucking do shit like that.
Also, there's a newer model.
It's also true, yeah.
The chorizo.
What with the chorizo?
Sometimes when I eat too much chorizo, I'll jump up and down.
Yeah, but then something's coming out.
Okay.
So she fucking fights this one Romulan.
This dude like spits on her.
I don't even know it.
They both explode.
Yeah.
It's like acid spit.
He's fucking reptiles.
He started to change and I was like, oh, is he like a Riemann?
Do we ever get, we'll see if we ever get into that.
I don't know.
I have no idea what this is.
Yeah, I mean, so he just like spits this biological agent on her.
And she starts to like disintegrate and there's a huge explosion.
And I'm like, is this a dream again?
Yeah, I thought so.
Because then he wakes up at Chateau Picard.
Yes.
This is where I think we are just transporting people places.
Because in the very next scene, he's back in France.
No, no, no, don't take him to the high.
Hospital. Don't beam him to a nearby hospital.
Beam him to his country estate.
Well,
hopefully it's not a concussion.
Star Trek medical technology, dude.
You just wave that fucking little rabbit vibrator over somebody.
It's the equivalent of your drunk uncle gets a little too ridiculous at Thanksgiving.
Just put him in a cab.
Tell the cab driver, 70 bucks.
Just put him at the house.
Take him to France.
70 bucks.
It'll be fine.
Yes, Jean-Luc, we put you in the hologram doctor.
they took care of all of that.
By the way, why does it look like Beverly?
Yeah.
Also, by the way, the French language still existing.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, he speaks French to the dog for a little bit.
I love that.
Good for you.
So, yeah, and this, he wakes up and he's like,
all right, man, hey, everybody, this is the fucking thrust
to the first season of this show.
He's going to find out the mystery of who murdered Dajun why.
He goes to see Allison Pill.
She's a scientist.
This is the Daystrom Institute.
Yes.
And, like, I mean, this is just sort of.
setting up the next episode obviously like
she is basically
he pieces it together that it's date his daughter
and basically says like
she's like why did you have to tell me this information
now I have to be at the show
yes she says like on my day off
or why couldn't she tell me this on my day off
my favorite thing I like Altsa Pillar
she's great I love Alzbollah
she's playing Agnes and this is her name
my favorite thing is she's like
there was this genius scientist
who worked here Bruce Madd
you're never going to meet him.
This guy, Bruce Maddox, he's not
going to be in the show at all. We've met Maddox.
Who is he? Maddox, we actually
just covered the episode. The measure
of a man. Yeah, Maddox is the guy
in that TNG
episode from season two. So we're talking
like, he's trying to scan data's
brain. Yeah, he wants to deactivate him
and take him apart to study him. And he should
have. Because there's been no
other droid like, droid, android,
like data, we come to
find. What's also interesting about this
Institute is they built the robots that
overthrew Mars and killed all those
people. So now they can only do
research and they can't actually build anything.
Actually construct anything, yeah.
But it's kind of funny because I was trying to remember how
Measureman ends. And it's something where
data basically says to the guy like
hey, Maddox, like when your
stuff is further along,
like I would be fine to like team up
with you and help you. So it's very
cool how they're working all this stuff in.
So are we going to get an old that guy?
Living in a cave somewhere?
see and I looked it up and like
because I was like oh what if they brought that guy back
if it was like a guest star that's a bigger star
now and it's not he was just a dude
you can recast that's an easy recast
oh yeah sure I mean I wouldn't be surprised
if we do see Maddox pop up
so how does it say
I know it ends with the cut to the Romulan ship
oh right well see yeah he's just asking about like
you know you know they call it
she says it's called fractal neural cloning
the whole idea of like if only one
part of data's positronic net
was saved and was put into another one.
He could theoretically have all of data essence.
Listen, Alison Pill, what if, hypothetically, we made a really bad movie.
That was the last one of our movies.
Is there any way to undo that totally?
Is there no take-she-back scene?
Because the movie was really bad.
Yeah.
Just want to be clear about that.
It fucking sucked balls.
My fucking dog that I am, it sucked as dog balls.
It would be nice to have Tom Hardy back.
He's doing great now.
One great line of this was Picard says that he's, he hasn't been living, he's been waiting to die.
Yes.
So it's pretty cool to get the call to action.
Yeah, he's got a reason for living, man.
It's fucking great.
And at the very end of this, we get, I guess, it's a resettlement camp of theirs.
Romulan reclamation site, we're told.
So is this a vacated Borg cube there was.
I was confused by the cube.
Well, so that's the big mystery is how they came across it, like what it is.
because it's a great, it mimics the pullout
shot from first contact
the same, we go out, it's two people talking
and it's out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out.
We should say it's her twin sister.
Yeah, so, Daj, so the way that you make these clones.
It's kind of cheap, but, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, the way that you make these clones
is that there's always two of them.
Yeah.
Which does lead to a, I'm sorry, it's a clunker Picard line
where he goes, so there's another one.
I'm like, yeah, no fucking shit, dude.
Of course, like, this one's in Romulan's,
space and one is in the United States
where you're more likely to be shot
even among fucking romulins
and this Romulan officer wants to get it wet
he's like hey could you help me out I mean he's obviously evil
but he's also just like hey yeah you wouldn't care
about my sob story another
yeah like you don't want to listen to another sad story or something
I was just wondering like if the federation was
they started to relocate these people
and they're like I don't know throw them on that fucking old board cube
Like, we're not, like, we don't have enough to go around.
I mean, yeah, like, just, I don't know, bring it out, people could live there.
It's not going to be nice, but all those planets where we killed all those gods,
and there's nothing on them anymore.
Why don't we just put them there?
I don't understand this.
There's some guy with a fucking Borg cube in his front yard, with a fucking spaceship on top of it.
Yep.
For sale.
If you have a spaceship on top of your Borgube,
you just might be a Romulan
it is crazy though
because this shot really shows you like
the scope of these things
I mean it's just a massive
piece of machinery
which is really cool
and that's the end of the episode
so the other woman
so now Dosh goes to Soji
Soji Asher is her name
and the guy she, Narek
the guy with Harry Treadaway
is a main character too
I think
Yeah I'm sure he's going to come up
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's, like, listed as the main cast.
What's that guy from?
He's in something we did recently.
He's been in a bunch of movie.
He's in, like, a lot of BBC stuff, too.
The one I remember, there was this weird-ass movie called Brothers of the Ed about a conjoined twin punk band.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He put this weird freaking movie out, and he's one of the conjoined.
He's the guy in the movie, uh, the movie, uh, honeymoon with Rose Leslie.
Yes.
Great fucking sci-fi movie.
So, yeah, anyway, that is the end.
of episode one thoughts going forward
Steve Sadeh? Do you want to do letter grades
like we did it? Oh yes yes good yeah let's do
let's do that letter grades for episode one
remembrance I would say it's a pretty solid B plus
for me I think it's a hard thing to come back
into this universe yeah it's exciting
I think
Stewart is obviously super engaged
I like Allison Pill a lot I'm excited to see where this goes
I'm just way in on the show
it's a and it's an intriguing
mystery. I wasn't, I was actually like,
ooh, cool, there's a twin because I actually liked the
character. And I'm like, oh, good, she's alive.
So I don't know, I'm into this, I'm way
into this, B plus for me. It's a
C plus for me. I'm into it.
But I will say,
all of the
exchanges
between Picard and Dodge
are really
trite. And they're full applied to it. So it's like,
oh, she, you came here because it's important. Yes,
because it's important. And there's going to be a thing that
happens in the future. Yes, there's going to be very important. Yes, it's going to be
important. Just shut up and get to it. That's why I like the action so much is because I do think
scenes like that just go nowhere and you can get it done with the line. But I love seeing him back.
I love having data back. I love, you know, I'm ready for it. Yeah, I think I'm just kind of
splitting the difference between the two of you guys here. I would do like a B, maybe to a B plus. I'm
excited to see where this goes. I was, you know, some of the stuff I was like, oh, there's a
twin. I'll kind of. I don't know, build a new one. Anyway, no, I had a lot of fun. I'm glad to
be back in this world. I got my data from behind, so I'm all in. Yeah, I think the first time I
watched it, I probably would say B and then this time around, I'm probably more like a B plus. I did
think some of the dialogue was really clunky, the one, you know, another one that I just mentioned. But, you know,
You reminded me just now of the fact that, yes, data did indeed always want a daughter, you know, with regard to that episode.
But the way it's just, he tosses like, a date I always wanted a daughter.
Yeah.
Just a, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, you know, it just.
But here's the thing.
You can't come back on the air after fucking 20 years and it's going to be a smooth landing.
Sure.
Like, I feel this thing is just taken off.
And, like, yeah, it's a little rocky, but, like, that's okay.
I didn't think it was terrible by any stretch of the imagination.
and I'm fucking ready to go.
I'm ready to see the other characters we haven't met yet.
That's the thing.
It's really economical that they decided.
We're not throwing everybody into the first episode.
Yes.
You get fucking Brent Spiner as the guest star and that's it.
Like, we'll move on.
I am glad they did data because his ending in nemesis was just terrible.
It's trash.
It's fucking total trash.
But this is not total trash.
And we will be back on our Patreon feed next week with episode two.
At the time of this recording, we only have a pressure.
few hours until the next one comes out.
That's right.
And now folks, you have to understand
some of this is going to be a little fluid.
You know, Andrew and Steve are actually moving.
So we're trying to like juggle our schedules as best as we can.
We're going to try to get episodes out around Monday, Tuesday.
We'll see how it goes.
Obviously, this one was a little late.
But we're going to try to batten down the hatches and get these out.
Totally.
We'll figure that.
And I should say on the note of moving,
this is the absolute last piece of content we will record in this apart.
in this studio.
Or ever, maybe.
Who knows?
See if your train makes it home tonight.
It has been a rad five years in this place,
and I'm excited for the new studio space
to record so much more content for you fine listeners.
So until next time, I'm Andrew Jupin.
Steven Say it, Chris Cabo.
Eric Siska.
Engage.
Thank you.
Thank you.
