We Hate Movies - Making It So #1 - "Remembrance"

Episode Date: January 29, 2020

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR STAR TREK: PICARD (OBVIOUSLY)! On the debut episode of Making It So, WHM's all-new Star Trek: Picard recap show, the gang is chatting about the series premiere of the latest Trek en...deavor that gets off to a... mostly okay start! How rad is it seeing Picard running his family vineyard? What was with that acid spit bomb device? And boy, can Data sure paint a pretty picture! PLUS: Marvel at the slo-mo car crash that is Andrew trying to explain the Kelvin Timeline! Making It So is a Star Trek: Picard recap show that, going forward, will only be available on our Patreon. Just like we did with The Mandalorian Half-Hour, please enjoy this first episode on us, and then head on over to our Patreon page to make sure you're subscribed—don't miss out on a minute of all-new Trek chat! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Zedek. Chris Gavin. Eric Siska. And we're making it so. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Making It So, a Star Trek Picard podcast. Thank you for supporting our Patreon endeavor here, although this pilot app, you might notice, on that free feed, baby. Right. Going forward, all other Picard, because we're recapping every episode. Every app. And some of these are going to be in studio. Some of them are going to be done remotely.
Starting point is 00:00:53 But going forward, there are all the other episodes. If you want to keep hearing, if you want to keep making it so, you've got to go to patreon.com. slash we hate movies and sign up for our nexus level, which is our Star Trek podcast anyway, which is at the $8. Which is also the highest level. And you're not just getting that. You're getting what we call the Nexus, which is an episode of Star Trek, The Next Generation,
Starting point is 00:01:12 and Star Trek, the original series, back to back. You like our Picard impression here. You will get a quarterly commentary. We did Predator just pretty recently, which is awesome. You get also everything at the $5 level, which is our monthly We Love Movies episode. We just recorded an episode on Back to the Future, part two. Oh, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:01:31 That's going out in February. Can I say by the way? Sure. It's a quick little like teaser into the future. Speaking of back to the future too, where they go to the future. Go to the future a little bit, the Q2 of 2020. Speaking of commentaries.
Starting point is 00:01:49 OQ, come on in. Financial quarter again. Speaking of commentaries, confirmed. The second commentary of 2020, we haven't figured out the first one yet. We know what that second one is, baby. We already got the fucking totally baller
Starting point is 00:02:03 Philippe Zbrero cover art. It is the Catsman Terry. That's right. This summer, come in this summer, we can say. Sure. And by the way, on YouTube.com slash we hate movies, there are some sample clips
Starting point is 00:02:14 of our commentary tracks. If you're curious of what this is actually like and about. Yes. And you also get at the $5 level our entire archive, which is 100, our first 100 or so episodes. So that's a ton of content.
Starting point is 00:02:25 Totally. And the $3 level, you get animation condemnation, which is a 30 to 40-minute cartoon that we're just talking about and having a lot of fun with. We've been on Patreon for a few years now. If you pledge for the $8 level, you unlock literally everything we've ever done.
Starting point is 00:02:39 Some people get confused. Some people get confused. Oh, is this just for this month's stuff? No, no, no. You get everything we've ever done. Everything. Yeah. So anyway, Star Trek Picard. Episode 1, remembrance. Um, I mean, it's so weird. How do I
Starting point is 00:02:55 start talking about a Picard show? We've been talking about Picard and his fucking wacky adventures for years, but this is a little bit different of a show, a little bit different tonally, addressing some different things here. It starts with data hustling Picard at some cards here. Absolutely. I watched this at work during lunch and I kind of wish I didn't because I was like, oh, fuck, am I going to cry at work? Yeah. They're playing poker, man. It's been fucking so long. If you cry at work, just go, oh, paper cut. Paper cut. I'm being emotionally abused by my superior. Like, congratulations.
Starting point is 00:03:28 Yay! I thought you didn't like watch this to work because you were going to run out to the OTP. Is that guy working for Amy Klobuchar? No. Yeah, I mean, we start off with this kind of like really nice
Starting point is 00:03:43 trip through the galaxy that turns into we see the old Enterprise D. So right away, you know it's a dream. That ship famously was destroyed at the end of Star Trek Generations. Well, it was destroyed at the end of Star Trek Generations. A movie from 1994. Stay tuned, by the way.
Starting point is 00:03:58 Absolutely. So, yeah, it's Data and Picard. They're playing poker. And I believe it's supposed to be like 10 forward, which is kind of cool. And it's a nice thing because the television show ended the final scene, because Picard finally joins them for poker. So this is, he's playing poker with data. And immediately, because the ship was destroyed, I know it's a dream sequence.
Starting point is 00:04:20 And Data's a little, I don't know if this is on purpose or just because of the CGI to make him look younger he looks a little off you know what I mean I think that might be a little on purpose I didn't know that androis could eat chorizo you know what cammon fucking time comes for us all dude but to Steve's point though like the makeup
Starting point is 00:04:41 is like flatter and his contacts and I was fucking nerd complaining about this off the air but like they look like contacts from B4 like B4 had way more dilated pupils which this version of data had and regular data had, you know, less dilated.
Starting point is 00:05:00 Mr. Data, eating too many microchips on the couch, I see. Oh, yes, Mr. Data. I see you like the Cape Cod salt and vinegar microchips. Mesquite barbecue microchips as a snack. What is this? Is it just a hot pocket full of wires? You're obviously, we're kidding. It's just a funny thing to say.
Starting point is 00:05:22 You know, microchips aren't on all the time food. They're a treat. Then I like a microchip now in a kid. I actually think he looks better than I expected. No, he does. And he's doing it too, which I love. He's doing data. He's fucking selling it.
Starting point is 00:05:36 He's doing fucking data. And we see him later in the uniform. I'm like, oh. Yeah. That painting. I'm like, oh. Yeah, that fucking uniform. Data from behind.
Starting point is 00:05:45 That might be in my Google search system. Just see it from behind painting. It's cool. And, you know, it's, there's just, it's a bittersweet moment where, like, Picard knows that he's bluff. or he realized that data is artificially creating a tell and they're going back and forth about what the bet might be. He's like, Captain, are you still?
Starting point is 00:06:04 He's like, no, Mr. Data. I just don't want this to end. And that's what I was like, oh, shit. Dude, yes, strapping for the feels, man, because they're all here. I will say it's awesome. I want to know what Jean-Luc Picard is smoking because I want to start finding the stuff
Starting point is 00:06:24 that makes my dreams start giving me clues to adventures that have not started yet. Methanphetamine. I mean, because it is like this whole conversation about like tells and, you know, how you relay information and all of that shit. Clearly we'll come into play later as we see already at, you know, this first episode here.
Starting point is 00:06:45 But man, yeah, my dream is just giving me hints. That'd be great. My dreams are like all terrible. If they could be interesting or make me cry. Sure. I'm always being like, chased by an opossum or something. I had a fucking dream the other night
Starting point is 00:06:58 where I was just stuck in a bathroom. Oh, dude, that's just you reliving memories. Yeah, I know. It's definitely happening before. It's shitty. It sucks. I had a dream once where my mom invented Diet Peach Snapple. Like, that's useless.
Starting point is 00:07:10 That gives me nothing. Bet you wish she did that, though, huh? She built an empire out of it or what? Popular flavor. Dude, did you dream that your mother was Wendy the Snapple lady? No, but I just knew that she invented Diet Peach Snapple. Sure.
Starting point is 00:07:22 She was a cock at it. Did she also invent pine sauce? So then this whole This nice card game And that fucking line You're right I don't want the game to end Is all interrupted by Picard going
Starting point is 00:07:35 Well look at that Mr. Data I didn't know we were making a trip to Mars Huge fucking explosion Oh Lordy it's great He wakes up And this is kind of the thing where like I kind of I love where this goes
Starting point is 00:07:49 I actually was more surprised That I liked the adventure of this I just kind of want the first 20 minutes of this forever. This is the show. It's just him with these two Romulins. Wait, living in this like French Chateaupegastop a card.
Starting point is 00:08:04 Dude, what the fuck's going on? He's living like a caveman. Right? For anyone in the real world, it's like, what, you got curtains, dude? Really? No, he's an admiral. We haven't had curtains for hundreds of years. What are you doing? Who's fucking curtains over there?
Starting point is 00:08:18 It's fucking crazy. Right? It's like, oh, wait, a wooden chair? He's a fucking crazy person. It's how a Ted Kaczynski like. You have an actual TV? Jesus. Oh, yes.
Starting point is 00:08:32 Tube televisions only, please. It talks to me. It tells me what to do. So does number one, my dog. No, like him, like ambassadors come to him to like have political box or something. Oh, totally. Stuff like that. I could see that working.
Starting point is 00:08:47 And actually, I would have preferred that too. Yeah, it's so dignified to, obviously. Yeah. It's he's doing some good work I will say to the number one point Like I have nicknames for Chris I've called you stabs in the past I call you crabbing sometimes
Starting point is 00:09:01 If I if we stop podcasting And then 20 years from now You come to my house And I've got a dog named crabbin You'd be offended right You're gonna hear about it Just just be ready for it Offended wouldn't you
Starting point is 00:09:16 I don't care if your family's there I don't care of a wife there I'm gonna give it to you Do you think it's How ugly is the dog Do you think it's thing, though, where he was like, you know, I don't think I'm ever going to see Will again.
Starting point is 00:09:27 Eh, fuck it. I miss saying it. It's like the way it feels on my tongue. I'm not going to call this fucking Romulan servant of my number one. You were named after the dog. No, Will you misunderstand. Of course, you're number one in Starfle.
Starting point is 00:09:43 This dog's named after me taking a piss. I love, there's a, I don't know, some interview that he did maybe Patrick Stewart says that he insisted that number one be a pit bull yes to showcase that pit bulls are not vicious monsters that they are often portrayed to be fucking love that because he's a good Patrick Stewart's a dog guy he walks on water this guy he speaks out against domestic violence he lifts up pits pulls and he's fucking Charles Xavier and Jean-Luc
Starting point is 00:10:16 Picard at the same fucking die incredible this dude has been dealt an amazing hand that he has played amazingly. And he's great, he's actually great in this actually. I don't know what we think about. It's an older performance, certainly. Yes, and he's, a lot of people were like talking about, oh, I'm getting worried about him or whatever. Like, I've seen him doing press for this.
Starting point is 00:10:35 He's playing Picard as a older, infeble kind of whatever. But, yeah, so we then cut to, we're told, the greater Boston area. It's awesome seeing Earth cities. I think the coast in general is not its change of pace.
Starting point is 00:10:54 Yeah, that's true. We're always in San Francisco with Starfleet. I agree with you though, too, because it's like so much with this pilot is that it takes so much it's the most time we've spent on Earth ever practically. I think probably since Kirk's birthday party in Rathakhan. I mean, some of those Abrams movies hang out on Earth quite a bit.
Starting point is 00:11:11 Sure. We're doing a lot of business in the Starfleet headquarters. I'm talking to my ass, obviously, but it's fun to see explore Earth a little bit. No, it definitely is. I mean, it's similarly, we sort of talked about this on the Mandalorian Half Hour, just the idea of like these established universes that we've played so much in, seeing
Starting point is 00:11:28 like lower stakes areas of them, like the farming elements of Star Wars. And like in this, just with Trek, like yeah, here's this girl with her boyfriend having a night in in, you know, Greater Boston, we're told talking about, you know, she got
Starting point is 00:11:43 accepted to this like robotic school. Ah, yes, Greater Boston. The only city that's still racist. They cut to Boston The Dropkick Murphys are playing somehow Oh, that fucking song, are you kidding? Shipping up to what? It's been fucking 400 years.
Starting point is 00:12:05 Are you actually using a ship? Just talk to me real on real here. Are you using an actual ship there, Dropkick? Well, I've been dead for years, but this is Bones McCoy. Drop it in to say that's classic music. I'm a holograms Yeah, so this
Starting point is 00:12:24 woman, I want to get the actress's name here. The character's name is Daj. This is Issa Briones is playing Dodge. She's talking with her boyfriend, have a little flirtatious night in, and then whoops, what's that? A bunch of fucking motorcycle-looking dudes.
Starting point is 00:12:40 Yeah. Beam into this apartment fucking murder this guy immediately. They throw a fucking knife into his heart. It looks like a fucking, like, Kling on dagger or something too. And it seems like this is like a blade runner-esque plot apparently that's being carried out here. Yes, definitely.
Starting point is 00:12:55 The idea of like it's a robot that doesn't know it's a robot. But more of a 2049 because of the fatherhood's angle that comes up. Totally, totally. Yeah, so there's this whole thing, you hear these dudes,
Starting point is 00:13:10 the guy like speaks in Romulan and then this guy's like, speak English, which reminded me of Die Hard with Avengers. Oh, right. It doesn't speak English, do you? Otto. Karisha Karasks.
Starting point is 00:13:22 And then they put a bag over her head and then all of a sudden one of them just yells she's activating. And this girl just fucking murders these guys.
Starting point is 00:13:32 Is she peeing her pants? No, no. She's activating. She's turning into a super killer. So that's like, you know, it's weird because I feel like it's more action than I was expecting. The Abrams movies
Starting point is 00:13:47 introduced like high octane action to Star Trek and I'm still not entirely comfortable with it but like in the confines of this apartment I was like yeah that's fine you're just having a super choreographed fight I got into it a little bit I was I was cool with it proper characters I think makes sense so we're obviously going to talk about the entire show and there's spoilers here but my you know I called the data daughter thing right here oh did you really yes mish's data right did my notes do you recall like what made you thinking at or? I was just like a
Starting point is 00:14:21 young, a young robot. I'm like data was at the start. Yeah. If we're going to make a data thing. But so you thought right away that she was a robot versus like some sort of Jason born sleeper cell kind of. Uh huh. Interesting. Wow. Look at this guy. Superbrain. Dude. A psychic Star Trek fan over there. I see. Let's talk about the interview that he gives. Yeah. It's him. It's the day of this big interview.
Starting point is 00:14:46 and he's got these two Romulan They're not servants They work for him No yeah they work on the vineyard I think they also just live in his house They have like Scottish accents Which is weird to me A little strange
Starting point is 00:14:57 Like just the woman does though Right does the dude also Maybe maybe not But even still like a Scottish Romulins Kind of a question mark It's fine Scromulins Well apparently there's this
Starting point is 00:15:08 Angus Romulan There was He Picard led this huge Relocation effort Maybe a few went down in the Scottish Highlands for a few years. That actually kind of makes sense. I don't know. Yeah, and that could totally
Starting point is 00:15:20 feel. This guy looks like an overcooked Robert John Burke. Yeah, a little bit. Oh, I could see that. Yeah, totally. Put him in the food dehydrator. This is the way it looks like. And he doesn't usually give interviews. He's never given an interview, they say. All right. Okay. It's a podcast. Okay. All right. Who
Starting point is 00:15:37 are my guys? Well, James T. Kirk is one of my guys. Ambassador Spark, of course. Carrot Top Specifically not Wesley Who? Don't worry about it Oh shit Adam O Picard You're that guy
Starting point is 00:15:56 Starfleet right Oh yeah Oh you got assimilated by the Borg Fuck you're that guy Yeah you know oh you knew Worf Yeah me and Warf used to work the door At the comedy story ripped off somebody's arms
Starting point is 00:16:11 Because he didn't want to pay who's heckling Kinnison Hackling Kinnison is crazy night Mitzie comes out fucking blasted on Coke she starts yelling and cling on at this guy
Starting point is 00:16:23 her and Worf had a fucking fight to the death right there in the lobby of the store Or maybe they're all reincarnated right? I'm like Maren Jr. Yes Mitzie the 13th or something.
Starting point is 00:16:41 Mitzie the third. Yes. Missy the third. So, you know, he's kind of nervous. The guy's like, don't worry about it. We've, you know, said multiple times, they're not going to bring up your departure from Starfleet. And this lady's a Terry Gross. She says one thing and she's going to talk about something else.
Starting point is 00:17:01 Seriously, bad move on that, Terry. Working for, what, crooked FNN? Jesus Christ. So this interview plays out. It starts off like kind of okay. It's a Remembrance Day. This big event in Star Trek history. Which I thought was nemesis and then I had to look it up, but it's not nemesis.
Starting point is 00:17:22 It's not. It's what's invented by the 2009 Abrams movie. This is the whole Eric Banna thing. So basically, Romulus, the star is going supernova. Picard is arguing, hey, we have to evacuate all these Romulins. everybody's not having it because Romulins are the fucking age old enemy of the Federation. This is in the
Starting point is 00:17:45 different timeline than the 2009 movies. Yeah, this is about to get really fucking narrative. Also, like that was in the past comparatively to what this is. So what the if you like read fucking nerd literature about this, which I had to do, I didn't understand it right away. But so basically
Starting point is 00:18:03 the sun going supernova happens and this is what Eric Banna's character escapes from. Escaping. That's right. And Spock follows him and they go back in time
Starting point is 00:18:16 to where they land. Okay, gotcha. And so Eric Banner destroys the USS Kelvin, which is what George Kirk is on. And that's why they call it the Kelvin timeline. So Spock is alive in basically right before this show. Yeah, because Spock is in next generation
Starting point is 00:18:31 for like an episode or two. Yeah, he comes on a couple of times. And so basically what happens is Picard is like, hey, we got to do this, you know, there's Romulins, we got to save these people. At the same time, a rogue team of Androids attacks the Mars base,
Starting point is 00:18:50 the colony on Mars or whatever. A port, I think. Yeah, some sort of trade port or something. Kills 92,000 people or something like that. So the Federation decides, hey, man, you know, this tragedy happened. We're going to deal with this. Fuck you, Romulan.
Starting point is 00:19:05 Sorry about that. Picard, this causes the falling out. The Starfleet decides they're not going to do this, you know, rescue mission. That does also sort of explain why Spock is alone chasing after this guy without They also ban all synthetic life. Yes. Which is fucking bonkers. So does this mean if Spock was to show up in this show, it would have to be an old Zachary Quinto? Like, that's what I didn't get. He's already gone at this point. Spock is, it's funny that we just did this episode. I'm back to the future too the same night we're talking about this.
Starting point is 00:19:38 but so in this timeline that Picard is set in Spock the Spock that hung with Kirk yeah yeah yeah leaves and goes back in time and that's like 10 or 20 years ago
Starting point is 00:19:52 Quinto is in another timeline yes that won't ever meet up with Picard so basically like yeah Picard the show is like the regular 1985 yeah and then that Spock went into this other timeline
Starting point is 00:20:06 which is the alternate 1985 where Zach Quinto is. So Eric Banna, but Eric Banna is in both timelines. No, Eric Banna also left. Eric Banna's timeline was regular 1985. He went back in time. But he died back then. Remember that great Eric Banna line? Two Spocks with the same God. With the same phaser, dude. Faser poison. I do like this idea for Picard, why he leaves Starfleet. It's just very Picard. It's also very like political. It's very now. You know what I mean? Like it's very, people aren't, you know, Even if you don't, you know, they're not our friends.
Starting point is 00:20:40 We still, they're still human beings kind of a thing. Right. And that's also very Jean-Luc Picard. Like that's what he always did. Absolutely. Absolutely. He's a very humanist figure. It fits in fucking perfectly. Just until we figure out what's going on.
Starting point is 00:20:53 Yeah, exactly. We're banning Romulans. Well, the Remins they donated so they can come. We're three years into the Romulan ban. Jesus Christ. Have none of you seen three kings? It's all there, folks. It's great, Earth. movie.
Starting point is 00:21:09 Klingon Cinema leaves something to be desired. It's all snuff films. I love Klingon Cinema. I have Don Jr. the 15th. Fast forwarding to all the best murders. My favorite is Black. Look.
Starting point is 00:21:24 Oh, everybody loves Bluck, Fluck, Lick. So, Blak, Millionaire. And who could who could forget? Black, Black, Black, Three. Black, Blak. me the return of black black I like that they brought Shane black back
Starting point is 00:21:41 yeah so this reporter brings up Starfleet he gets fucking pissed off he tells this lady off yes and it's kind of funny because right around here I was like is this supposed to be sort of like a Fox News kind of character question mark she could be pulling a Terry
Starting point is 00:21:59 Gross though that's a straight up fucking National Public Radio my friend but yeah so the interview's over with kind of thing but it's a nice way I wasn't I've seen this episode twice now. I wasn't thrilled the first time with how the exposition plays out. This time, I was more fine with it.
Starting point is 00:22:15 I was kind of weird because he's like, yes, you might know a good reference for this. It was Dunkirk. You mean the movie? It was an actual thing. I love that movie. He does fucking straight up, say to this one,
Starting point is 00:22:28 you have no fucking idea what Dunkirk is. Yeah, that's amazing. You aren't trying to be this fucking expert and, you know, whatever. And while this is happening, the interviews airing all over the place, Dodge walks by, you know, a storefront or something that's playing it and sees Picard. She has had a recollection of Picard's visage in her mind. One thing mildly, well, not mildly, but just not explored here, is are we transporting? Are we fly into places?
Starting point is 00:22:55 Do we have, you know, or teleporting, you know? For one, for one particular scene a little bit later than we'll get to a sec. Yeah, I do think we're trying. We're using transporters, planet-to-planet transportation, I think, is happening. So we're back at Chateau Picard. Daz shows up. Picard's like just chilling, drinking tea, which I fucking love. It's Earl Grey Decaf, by the way.
Starting point is 00:23:22 The old fake ticker can't take the caffeine anymore. You know, honestly, ever since I've gotten older, I have teleporters on every floor of the house. It makes it easier. Computer, bathroom. Bathroom. He does the Homer thing He unsipsed it Oh yes
Starting point is 00:23:41 Homer no It's just easier this way I get up three times A night to take a piss And yes I use the teleporter It just makes it easier So Dosh shows up at Chateau Picard
Starting point is 00:23:56 And she's like Hey man I don't know what's going on here Do you know me You're in my My memories here You know who you are She does have a great line
Starting point is 00:24:04 Somewhere in the sequence Where she's like I know you because you're the great man. Yes. You know, like, it's such a weird thing. But like, yes, everyone on earth would know Jean-Lucre. Oh, another fan. Yes, okay.
Starting point is 00:24:14 What do you want to hear about? Yes, my adventures with the sexy Doctor Crusher, perhaps. Or how I hate that filthy Wesley. Would you like me to sign your cleavage or something? I mean, I've been through the circuit. A picture is $40, an autograph is $100. Do you have a DVD? I can do that.
Starting point is 00:24:36 too. Right now in the upper concourse Captain Jean-Luc Picard signing, what's that? Signing cleavage and DVDs only. We have another dream sequence
Starting point is 00:24:54 which I love. This is the data from behind painting. We're in the fucking super old school uniform which I love. Painting a picture of a woman. Would you like to finish it, Captain? Yeah. Fucking great. We get a image of this painting here it's like a woman in a big dress yeah and he looks and he has the same painting
Starting point is 00:25:12 in this room he's like not that clue oh say my dreams are giving me all sorts of clues I love so we talk about he goes to the Starfleet museum and archive oh yeah fuck I would have a fucking season past this institution man because Dodge goes off in the middle of the night they have this conversation he takes her necklace it's not that super
Starting point is 00:25:34 important it's a nice scene but yeah right Yeah, she bounces. But yes, this is one of those things like, oh, fuck, I can watch the archive show forever. Yeah, totally, dude. I love this little index character. Yes. This woman's cool.
Starting point is 00:25:47 Just sort of like this VR, like... It's a hologram, I think? Yes. He's got like a safety deposit box, kind of. Dude, when you're Jean-Lick-Bacard, you have to, man. Yes, I've got three guns, six IDs, 200,000 in loose cash. Just in case it gets hot here, man.
Starting point is 00:26:05 Lose Vulcan cash as well. It's where I've always wanted to retire, you know. Vulcan. In this timeline, I think Vulcan is still fine. Yes. Vulcan blows up in the Kelvin timeline. Yes, yes, that's Klingon pornography. Don't look at it.
Starting point is 00:26:20 You can't look at it. You'll never be able to unsee it. That's why I keep it in this vault. It's truly horrifying. Have you seen that crazy 88 scene from Kill Bill? It's essentially that. But with clings. It's just as bloody, if not more.
Starting point is 00:26:42 Just Klingon's fuck fighting. Oh, look at that fat one. There I call him Charlie Brown. Oh, he'll get into it later. I watch it, but once a year. He has to go by the pizza or whatever. Why are they going to make that third one? I mean, I'm this old and they still haven't done it.
Starting point is 00:27:05 there's the like Dodge at one point is like you know she's got nowhere to go it's this weird thing where like she calls her mother and the mother's like just go to Picard no no no no you gotta find Picard my thing is like is this person real yeah I don't know what that is because like spoiler alert Dodge is a robot yes and so like is this like the creator well she doesn't know she does this thing where it's like oh um I didn't tell you where I was it's one of those things where it's I didn't tell you this information and she's like, oh, oh, oh. Yeah. I got a heavy Edward Furlong's aunt and T2 vibe from it. Oh, totally. Yeah, like there was either she's being, like she's playing her or she's got a gun to her head
Starting point is 00:27:47 somewhere. Right, right, right. Or she could be a hologram that is just like talking shit. Yeah. Because like, Dodge keeps saying stuff like, you know, oh, I'm from Seattle and blah, blah, blah. She, so she's like, you got to find Picard. She gets into robot mode again, uses her little device to track him. I love that Picard immediately tells you're like, oh, your memories are fake. Oh, no, they're real to you. Yeah. Oh, it's cute that they're real to you, but they're fucking
Starting point is 00:28:12 fake. Look, the robot thinks it's a person. Oh, this is adorable. Hey, Lira, it's actually, come out there. This thing thinks it has memories. I mean, obviously what he should do is just immediately take her, build
Starting point is 00:28:28 the thousands of data's and stuff. Sure. To overthrow the Federation. That's it. Fuck, dude, an army of data's, that'd be rad. Just breaking necks, and then suddenly Picard is, like, president of Earth. King of Earth. Yes, exactly. So Picard is talking about something that has been referenced on TNG before,
Starting point is 00:28:51 but we've never seen it, the Daystrom Institute. Oh, okay. He does say Data always wanted a daughter, which is a reference to the episode Data's daughter. Oh, that's right where he, it's fucking sad as hell. It's a creepy one, yeah. He makes a little creation, but then, like, her fucking, like, positronic net just fails and it dies. Care me. Dude, it's kind of like that.
Starting point is 00:29:16 I mean, this thing, it looks unsettling. What is it just a computer? No, I mean, it looks like a, it looks more or less like a person. It's a little girl. I just, I feel like if I'm on the enterprise and I'm trying to do my job, and like this fucking eight-year-old girl walks by, was like, oh, data baby, daughter. I'm like, can I just fucking live on this ship? Must this happen?
Starting point is 00:29:41 You know what? Just send me to engineering. Nobody's coming in there all the time with this. Everyone says it's the prize fucking job on Starfleet. My ass. You know what? I'm putting in for a transfer. I'm done with this.
Starting point is 00:29:53 I'm putting in for a fucking transfer. Oh, wait, now the robot's sad because his daughter is dead? Can I leave this ship? Is there fucking space on the Excelsior, please? Jesus Christ. There has to be. less egos and shit on those other ships no you're like the celebrities
Starting point is 00:30:09 yeah exactly they could do whatever they want hot shots at least they're not referencing Melville and shit you know how many plays they have the Excelsior a week zero I love it there precisely no poetry readings no I've never heard of Dashel Hammett
Starting point is 00:30:29 can you please take me please take me man so yeah he's like dash here's the deal i'm pretty sure you're a fucking robot we're gonna get to the bottom of it we're gonna go to the daystrom institute man these fucking romulans beam in again starting shit
Starting point is 00:30:46 I'll tell you the funniest part of this episode I think Dodge is like all right we gotta get out of here we're under fire and dude the stunt double for Patrick's Dewart running away from this like phaser fire from behind looks exactly like Bruce Willis
Starting point is 00:31:01 it's so fucking fun Maybe it was him. Or the same stunt double, probably. Yeah, I mean, they both got the shoehorn, man. Or a horseshoe. And what's not a stunt double is Picard going under something to hide for a little? I was like, I can get, all right, that's good. You young people have fun, though.
Starting point is 00:31:22 A dodge fucking kicking ass again right here. I really love, let's see what we feel about this. I really think the jump is cool. The super jump. Oh, yes, it's very cool. Yeah. And again, it's one of those things. Like, you can be a prig and be like, why didn't data ever do it?
Starting point is 00:31:36 Well, because they didn't film it that way. We couldn't fucking do shit like that. Also, there's a newer model. It's also true, yeah. The chorizo. What with the chorizo? Sometimes when I eat too much chorizo, I'll jump up and down. Yeah, but then something's coming out.
Starting point is 00:31:51 Okay. So she fucking fights this one Romulan. This dude like spits on her. I don't even know it. They both explode. Yeah. It's like acid spit. He's fucking reptiles.
Starting point is 00:32:03 He started to change and I was like, oh, is he like a Riemann? Do we ever get, we'll see if we ever get into that. I don't know. I have no idea what this is. Yeah, I mean, so he just like spits this biological agent on her. And she starts to like disintegrate and there's a huge explosion. And I'm like, is this a dream again? Yeah, I thought so.
Starting point is 00:32:21 Because then he wakes up at Chateau Picard. Yes. This is where I think we are just transporting people places. Because in the very next scene, he's back in France. No, no, no, don't take him to the high. Hospital. Don't beam him to a nearby hospital. Beam him to his country estate. Well,
Starting point is 00:32:40 hopefully it's not a concussion. Star Trek medical technology, dude. You just wave that fucking little rabbit vibrator over somebody. It's the equivalent of your drunk uncle gets a little too ridiculous at Thanksgiving. Just put him in a cab. Tell the cab driver, 70 bucks. Just put him at the house. Take him to France.
Starting point is 00:32:58 70 bucks. It'll be fine. Yes, Jean-Luc, we put you in the hologram doctor. they took care of all of that. By the way, why does it look like Beverly? Yeah. Also, by the way, the French language still existing. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:12 Yeah, he speaks French to the dog for a little bit. I love that. Good for you. So, yeah, and this, he wakes up and he's like, all right, man, hey, everybody, this is the fucking thrust to the first season of this show. He's going to find out the mystery of who murdered Dajun why. He goes to see Allison Pill.
Starting point is 00:33:28 She's a scientist. This is the Daystrom Institute. Yes. And, like, I mean, this is just sort of. setting up the next episode obviously like she is basically he pieces it together that it's date his daughter and basically says like
Starting point is 00:33:41 she's like why did you have to tell me this information now I have to be at the show yes she says like on my day off or why couldn't she tell me this on my day off my favorite thing I like Altsa Pillar she's great I love Alzbollah she's playing Agnes and this is her name my favorite thing is she's like
Starting point is 00:33:58 there was this genius scientist who worked here Bruce Madd you're never going to meet him. This guy, Bruce Maddox, he's not going to be in the show at all. We've met Maddox. Who is he? Maddox, we actually just covered the episode. The measure of a man. Yeah, Maddox is the guy
Starting point is 00:34:15 in that TNG episode from season two. So we're talking like, he's trying to scan data's brain. Yeah, he wants to deactivate him and take him apart to study him. And he should have. Because there's been no other droid like, droid, android, like data, we come to
Starting point is 00:34:31 find. What's also interesting about this Institute is they built the robots that overthrew Mars and killed all those people. So now they can only do research and they can't actually build anything. Actually construct anything, yeah. But it's kind of funny because I was trying to remember how Measureman ends. And it's something where
Starting point is 00:34:46 data basically says to the guy like hey, Maddox, like when your stuff is further along, like I would be fine to like team up with you and help you. So it's very cool how they're working all this stuff in. So are we going to get an old that guy? Living in a cave somewhere?
Starting point is 00:35:02 see and I looked it up and like because I was like oh what if they brought that guy back if it was like a guest star that's a bigger star now and it's not he was just a dude you can recast that's an easy recast oh yeah sure I mean I wouldn't be surprised if we do see Maddox pop up so how does it say
Starting point is 00:35:18 I know it ends with the cut to the Romulan ship oh right well see yeah he's just asking about like you know you know they call it she says it's called fractal neural cloning the whole idea of like if only one part of data's positronic net was saved and was put into another one. He could theoretically have all of data essence.
Starting point is 00:35:36 Listen, Alison Pill, what if, hypothetically, we made a really bad movie. That was the last one of our movies. Is there any way to undo that totally? Is there no take-she-back scene? Because the movie was really bad. Yeah. Just want to be clear about that. It fucking sucked balls.
Starting point is 00:35:54 My fucking dog that I am, it sucked as dog balls. It would be nice to have Tom Hardy back. He's doing great now. One great line of this was Picard says that he's, he hasn't been living, he's been waiting to die. Yes. So it's pretty cool to get the call to action. Yeah, he's got a reason for living, man. It's fucking great.
Starting point is 00:36:14 And at the very end of this, we get, I guess, it's a resettlement camp of theirs. Romulan reclamation site, we're told. So is this a vacated Borg cube there was. I was confused by the cube. Well, so that's the big mystery is how they came across it, like what it is. because it's a great, it mimics the pullout shot from first contact the same, we go out, it's two people talking
Starting point is 00:36:36 and it's out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out. We should say it's her twin sister. Yeah, so, Daj, so the way that you make these clones. It's kind of cheap, but, yeah. Yeah, I mean, the way that you make these clones is that there's always two of them. Yeah. Which does lead to a, I'm sorry, it's a clunker Picard line
Starting point is 00:36:53 where he goes, so there's another one. I'm like, yeah, no fucking shit, dude. Of course, like, this one's in Romulan's, space and one is in the United States where you're more likely to be shot even among fucking romulins and this Romulan officer wants to get it wet he's like hey could you help me out I mean he's obviously evil
Starting point is 00:37:13 but he's also just like hey yeah you wouldn't care about my sob story another yeah like you don't want to listen to another sad story or something I was just wondering like if the federation was they started to relocate these people and they're like I don't know throw them on that fucking old board cube Like, we're not, like, we don't have enough to go around. I mean, yeah, like, just, I don't know, bring it out, people could live there.
Starting point is 00:37:36 It's not going to be nice, but all those planets where we killed all those gods, and there's nothing on them anymore. Why don't we just put them there? I don't understand this. There's some guy with a fucking Borg cube in his front yard, with a fucking spaceship on top of it. Yep. For sale. If you have a spaceship on top of your Borgube,
Starting point is 00:37:59 you just might be a Romulan it is crazy though because this shot really shows you like the scope of these things I mean it's just a massive piece of machinery which is really cool and that's the end of the episode
Starting point is 00:38:15 so the other woman so now Dosh goes to Soji Soji Asher is her name and the guy she, Narek the guy with Harry Treadaway is a main character too I think Yeah I'm sure he's going to come up
Starting point is 00:38:28 Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's, like, listed as the main cast. What's that guy from? He's in something we did recently. He's been in a bunch of movie. He's in, like, a lot of BBC stuff, too. The one I remember, there was this weird-ass movie called Brothers of the Ed about a conjoined twin punk band. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:45 He put this weird freaking movie out, and he's one of the conjoined. He's the guy in the movie, uh, the movie, uh, honeymoon with Rose Leslie. Yes. Great fucking sci-fi movie. So, yeah, anyway, that is the end. of episode one thoughts going forward Steve Sadeh? Do you want to do letter grades like we did it? Oh yes yes good yeah let's do
Starting point is 00:39:04 let's do that letter grades for episode one remembrance I would say it's a pretty solid B plus for me I think it's a hard thing to come back into this universe yeah it's exciting I think Stewart is obviously super engaged I like Allison Pill a lot I'm excited to see where this goes I'm just way in on the show
Starting point is 00:39:25 it's a and it's an intriguing mystery. I wasn't, I was actually like, ooh, cool, there's a twin because I actually liked the character. And I'm like, oh, good, she's alive. So I don't know, I'm into this, I'm way into this, B plus for me. It's a C plus for me. I'm into it. But I will say,
Starting point is 00:39:41 all of the exchanges between Picard and Dodge are really trite. And they're full applied to it. So it's like, oh, she, you came here because it's important. Yes, because it's important. And there's going to be a thing that happens in the future. Yes, there's going to be very important. Yes, it's going to be
Starting point is 00:40:03 important. Just shut up and get to it. That's why I like the action so much is because I do think scenes like that just go nowhere and you can get it done with the line. But I love seeing him back. I love having data back. I love, you know, I'm ready for it. Yeah, I think I'm just kind of splitting the difference between the two of you guys here. I would do like a B, maybe to a B plus. I'm excited to see where this goes. I was, you know, some of the stuff I was like, oh, there's a twin. I'll kind of. I don't know, build a new one. Anyway, no, I had a lot of fun. I'm glad to be back in this world. I got my data from behind, so I'm all in. Yeah, I think the first time I watched it, I probably would say B and then this time around, I'm probably more like a B plus. I did
Starting point is 00:40:51 think some of the dialogue was really clunky, the one, you know, another one that I just mentioned. But, you know, You reminded me just now of the fact that, yes, data did indeed always want a daughter, you know, with regard to that episode. But the way it's just, he tosses like, a date I always wanted a daughter. Yeah. Just a, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, you know, it just. But here's the thing. You can't come back on the air after fucking 20 years and it's going to be a smooth landing. Sure.
Starting point is 00:41:18 Like, I feel this thing is just taken off. And, like, yeah, it's a little rocky, but, like, that's okay. I didn't think it was terrible by any stretch of the imagination. and I'm fucking ready to go. I'm ready to see the other characters we haven't met yet. That's the thing. It's really economical that they decided. We're not throwing everybody into the first episode.
Starting point is 00:41:34 Yes. You get fucking Brent Spiner as the guest star and that's it. Like, we'll move on. I am glad they did data because his ending in nemesis was just terrible. It's trash. It's fucking total trash. But this is not total trash. And we will be back on our Patreon feed next week with episode two.
Starting point is 00:41:53 At the time of this recording, we only have a pressure. few hours until the next one comes out. That's right. And now folks, you have to understand some of this is going to be a little fluid. You know, Andrew and Steve are actually moving. So we're trying to like juggle our schedules as best as we can. We're going to try to get episodes out around Monday, Tuesday.
Starting point is 00:42:13 We'll see how it goes. Obviously, this one was a little late. But we're going to try to batten down the hatches and get these out. Totally. We'll figure that. And I should say on the note of moving, this is the absolute last piece of content we will record in this apart. in this studio.
Starting point is 00:42:26 Or ever, maybe. Who knows? See if your train makes it home tonight. It has been a rad five years in this place, and I'm excited for the new studio space to record so much more content for you fine listeners. So until next time, I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Say it, Chris Cabo.
Starting point is 00:42:41 Eric Siska. Engage. Thank you. Thank you.

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