We Hate Movies - MELR0210 #14 - Melrose Place "My Way"

Episode Date: May 8, 2020

We head into the weekend with our second MELR0210 episode of the week which has us talking about the outrageous Melrose Place episode, "My Way"! Originally airing back on August 19th, 1992, this episode features Billy putting Alison in one of the absolute worst positions of all time, Sandy letting a role in a slasher film go to her head, Jake stealing someone's beer, Rhonda throwing an unwanted party, Jane buying McDonald's, Matt doing nothing, Michael spilling food everywhere, and the return of everyone's favorite satanic character actor, Malachi Throne! PLUS: We come up with some pretty sweet trailer lines for a fake horror movie! MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this more-than-necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. Hello, welcome to Melrode 2.0-210. Let's all put on our sunscreen and remain in doors because this is a quarantine side show where your favorite fucking bad movie podcast loses its goddamn mind every week by watching 90s television. I am joined with my good

friends Christopher Cabin. Oh, hoi, hoi. Andrew Jupin. Yo! And Eric Siska. How are you're doing? We're back all together. Chris was away on Monday.

We actually thought it was a close call for Chris Cabin again this week. He's having a hell of a time out there in Connecticut. They got me. I got to tell you. I don't know who they are, but they got me. I was actually, I had an audio clip all set up if you weren't going to do today, which is the chorus to Tom Waits is, everywhere I go, it rains on me. I touch her, the Travis song, why doesn't it always rain on me? Oh, yeah, I remember that song. Totally. Wow, remember Travis? Also, remember

Melrose Place, you guys? Because it's Thursday and we're talking about Melrose Place. Today we're talking about My Way Season one, episode, I don't know, what is it? Seven. Oh, episode seven. Original aired date, August 19th, 1992. Also, if you go to the

IMDB, someone's having fun with the image graphic for this episode. Oh, the header, the one that it defaults to? Yes, because it's Courtney Thorntzmith, with her eyes closed mid-sentence like what a shitty thing to do it is fucking serious derp face it's the funniest thing i was laughing at it kind of while watching this whole episode the best bit of trivia on this on the page for this episode is that somebody pointed out

that this aired two days before the ruby ridge uh it didn't happen that's on the imdb i didn't see that there was some guy who just i did i got too lot down votes chris two days before yeah yeah so august 21st i think is when it started so the episode was so bad it set off the chain of events this guy was on it don't worry whoever this fucking poster was i love that uh so the only trivia i can see which is something that people were pointing out to us on twitter earlier which i guess happened last week but we didn't really notice it because she didn't have many lines this is a sandy centric episode and it's new sandy this sandy ain't from the south no more everybody dude totally she's now

from just flat-sounding New Jersey. This is one of those things where it really fucks you here because I kept on hearing the Southern accent while I was watching it. Your mind fills in those blanks. Yeah, it's really fucking weird. It is bizarre though.

I mean, well, also for me watching it just due to talking about her so much during this quarantine and doing the impression of her slash the Zelda Rubenstein impression, whenever she's on the television now, like I listen to what she's saying, but in my head,

all I'm hearing is hey y'all well here's the thing guess what we're not going to stop doing that that was that was that way yeah uh and you know it's it's more fun to do it that way so this is she's got the a story billy's got the b story wow i totally had that reversed by the way really yeah i mean we start with her i feel and she has the big moment towards the end i think yeah she almost leaves melrose place andrew i think that's got to be the a story i guess i so. I mean, the only thing I'd offer is there's more scenes of the Billy's storyline, and it ends on the Billy storyline. It does end of the Billy storyline. And the C storyline is Michael and Jane, question mark? I don't know. I think we can

all agree that the C storyline is definitely them, and that's nowhere else. Because it's like a total of like 45 seconds. It's incredible. They come to some epiphany, which I don't even understand at the end of it. so we start with we'll do Sandy's storyline for us

maybe the A1 storyline and Billy will be A2 here because it starts with her it's her in a casting office a very like weird we're trying something out shot of like we're starting with her screaming and we're looking at her mouth

yeah it's kind of like the opening of blowout but it's also it's um it's weird because this like starting off with her screaming and we're like yeah Steve like you said we're like pulling away from her mouth and whatever and you see that she's an audition for a horror movie

but then like it almost instantly cuts to like the courtyard and more credits start rolling and then like Billy and Allison's story starts and I was like was this like their attempt at a weird super short cold open or something kind of it feels that way doesn't it doesn't really work as a scene

because it's so short and it's so weird and it's just standing at an audition she's trying out for a slasher movie and the joke is there's a lot of dialogue that gets cut for the audition and it's like he'd just like scream again which is like you know sure

well I mean as John Travolta points out and blow out man I mean the scream is like the most important part you know you gotta make sure you got that down a scream queen I this is like what 92 slash has still existed in the obviously in the rental market as well but like this is a downturn for the slasher market

for sure right no doubt about it Whoa, whoa, whoa. But do you know what comes out exactly a year from this and what I think they're probably, this is probably for? Oh, please. Is Jason goes to hell. The 90-slash-er par excellence. So Jason's souls transforming and going into my body now. Oh, hey, y'all, I'm auditioning for the role of medical technician that eats his heart for some reason or whatever. Oh, yeah. Go ahead. We are miles away and you stole my joke.

I love it. Oh, hell, Rhonda. I'm going to have a demon popping out of my mouth. Oh, why, excuse me, why does the last 40 pages take place in a haunted mansion, y'all? Shouldn't this be at a summer camp? Wait, y'all, this screenplay is talking about Jason's ancestry. Y'all, that seems stupid, child. Why is this screen direction just the word naked eight times in a row?

That's kind of where this goes. So, yeah, I mean, that's her thing. Oh, I will say, though, funny enough, released the same year that this episode aired is Candyman. Okay. Which also stars Vanessa Williams, Rhonda. Oh, yeah. Nice. Did that Candyman get moved, the new one that had to have gotten moved, right?

I don't know, actually. That's a good question. uh i mean everything's getting moved so probably i was really excited about that it looked really fucking cool yeah candy man actually came out so what did you say steve this aired in august yeah august 92 so yeah just two months later october 16th 1992 man fucking tony todd touches down i got to rewatch that movie i watched it probably and i i feel like i was paying attention but like i wasn't super into it and i feel like i was probably wrong uh i rewatched it in quarantine i should say so you know within the last seven weeks.

Yeah, same. It's good. Totally holds up, man. It's fucking awesome. The weirdest thing about that movie is that it has a Philip Glass score. Yes, it definitely does. And it's amazing. It's fucking great, but it's just weird. But yeah, anyway, so weird things with slasher's and cast members of this show and so on.

So, you know, Sandy comes back and she's at shooters. We'll do the Sandy bit and then we'll do Billy. Yeah. because I don't want to blow my pipes out doing the Billy impression. So save that for the end. But let's not forget Michael and what's her name again.

Jane. You know, let's just do that really quickly. I love this. I love it. It's them. They're trying to he's like, oh, Jane, the baby's coming. I got to measure the whole house. Eek, I broke my ankle. But this is like, this bedroom is bigger than my

entire living situation right now. It's humongous. And then he's trying to, like, move a fucking dresser by himself and throws it on his own ankle. I don't know what he's trying to fucking do. Because, first of all, he's like, oh, babe, I don't know, G-Goo, we got to find some space for the crib in here, boobah. And I'm like, dude, she's like four weeks pregnant. You're fucking worrying about crib placement. And the fucking dresser has shit all over the top of it.

You could ask her to help. You could do it in some way. You could take the drawers out, maybe. Yeah, exactly. There are ways to do this easily. A suicide reshuffling of this fucking house. You complete imbecile. Sit down and decide where you want it.

I'm just going to move to bed here. I'm going to move the crutch here. The way he does this pratfall, by the way, it reminds me very much of this time. I went out drinking with some buddies. And we're driving back. And I really have to go to the bathroom. So I'm like, oh, I got to go to the bathroom.

So they pull off at the side. And I walk away a little bit of a ways. I think that I'm out of sight. I get piss all over my pants because I'm drunk. And I'm like, oh, shit. I can't go back in the car like this. I'm like, let me do, on my way back, I'll do a Pratt fall, fall in the snow, and then be like, oh, this snow.

Oh, my God, the snow. Oh, my God. So I did this, and I came back and everyone was like, why did you fake fall? And I was like, like literally nobody fell for it, which reminds you very much of how Mr. Mancini takes this prop fall. It just it does not look natural at all. Like, what do you

do it? Why did you fall in the middle of your own house? But you fell for it, Steve. You fell for it. It's like a bad like a high school play. And it's like two 15 year olds playing a married couple and he's got to like fake hurt his ankle. It's so dumb. So he has to go to the hospital. He like sprains his ankle.

They come in in the Sandy storyline in the middle which we'll talk about. But the only other scene the only two scenes, A, it's another hilarious. This next one is the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. This one has to, no, listen, the only way this next part

makes any sense as if their fucking house is haunted by a poltergeist. It's the same, so he's making her, he's like, oh, babe, I feel so bad, you're waiting on me hands and foot. Let me make you some lentils and peas. He's like, oh, this is so good. You're going to love this.

Let me just try to move it by myself with my fucking brink. broken leg. He somehow drops it all over the fucking kitchen floor. The towel he was holding is now on fire. And that's where the polterdice comes in. Because what are we doing? How does this towel just burst into flame? Because he does a famous fuck up. And he doesn't turn off the oven before he takes the pot off. He leaves it on. He just turns. He's like, oh my God, fire extinction. Yeah. This is, this is Melro. And of course, stipulation inside here, this place has been haunted by my great grandfather. As my master Lucifer has said to me, I have to keep all flames on all ovens, at least three feet high, even on low. This towel just bursts into flames. And then Jane comes in and there is lentils everywhere. It's a huge mess. I was laughing at this mess.

It reminded me of that state sketch you ever remember, and the popes are coming over in 20 minutes. Yes. And they're trying to like eat cleanly in their nice white suits and they just basically destroy. the stage. That's what this looks like. It's like when Kevin is carrying the chili in the office and he fucking spills it. I mean, it's that kind of a poor, dude.

And she bends over and she's just like, well, you know, it's all right. I'm just going to go get a couple of quarter pounders. Well, it must have been the ghost of Melford Rowe the first. I thought you're going to say his grandfather was actually Louis B. Mayor.

He's cut up on a movie set. I do. She does say at the end, all right, I'll just go get us two, two quarter pounders. I'm like, well, uh, what are you going to have? Yeah, I mean, honestly, yep, exactly. So, uh, Jane, you're not eating tonight? Can I get you a bag of nugs, son? Oh, dude, yeah, definitely a sack full of nugs for those pregnancy cravings, absolutely. Fucking nug bag. So, and the third and final seat of this non story is she's like, oh, hey Michael, I'm making dinner pasta a la mancini and he's like oh babe

you always know what to do cook me dinner question in this part they know the sex of the child somehow already great point eric i think that's a thing where they're just saying it i thought about that too like oh he's gonna love you he's gonna admire you michael mancini doctor guy maybe maybe it's one of those things where she's like oh fuck like he's gonna be furious if this isn't a boy that's because he's one of those fucking people. Oh, Jayne, I already had a telepathic connection

with the child. Oh, no. Melford Rowe has taken it to the dark dimension. And mother to me. Oscar! Oh, dude, you know, Mel, that's, you're exactly right, Eric. Melford Rowe exists only as a painting. And yes, he comes out to collect rent occasionally, to bring it to hell with him, but...

Oh, he comes out of the painting? Yeah, to collect the Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Oh, man, we got to get him and Malachi throne. We got to get these two together. Oh, do not. This is the way the world ends with a handshake, my friend. So, and that's their story. So moving on to Sandy, who, again, no accent in this, is she's at Shooters.

Jake, I mean, this guy is a shit heel to beat the band. He walks into shooters. She's got a tray of beer that she's serving to all sorts of different people. And Jake's just like, yoink. And she's like, that's not yours child. He's like, it is now. Yeah. Did you lose your job?

Sorry. What a lovable road. Again, I mean, this, we've talked about this extensively on the air recently, I feel. Speaking of sack full of nugs, but it goes back to, you know, the decorum around visiting a friend at work. And I'm also speaking now to Billy who drops in to. Allison's place of work quite a lot in this episode also. Like, when you're visiting a friend at work, man, you have to be

acting like you also have that job. Yes. You know what I mean? And like, for Jake to come in and be like, hey, yoik, glug, glug, glug, glug. It's insane. And I'm sure Sandy is like, you know, his bill every night is probably like 25 cents and it's a wink and a nudge, but you got to keep that shit

low. That's how it works when your friend works at a bar. It's like, you know, you act like a regular customer, but then they hook you up at the end. absolutely and then you tip the shit out of them which i'm sure jake does not do that's well you read my mind steve exactly because thinking back to the days we had a friend of ours worked at a bar downtown and we would go we would drink for free the entire night like five of us and then you throw him a bunch of money you know and that bar went out of business so very quickly i think when it comes to jake i think he's thinking you know the tip is the view you get when you're talking to me baby oh that's

Or maybe come get your tip later. It's in my fucking pants. He tries that. It doesn't work this episode. So she is really excited about this audition. Rhonda shows up. She's like, you had almost a voicemail wrong, an answering machine message from that lady.

You got the part. Yay. But she fucks with her though here. Which I believe starts everything out on the bad note. Because she's like, no, you didn't get any calls. Oh, wait. There was like a feldstone. or a Feldstein

and she's like Feldman and Rhonda's like oh yeah that's right Feldman you got the part This is the Seinfeld mirror universe Yeah totally Like meanwhile this poor woman is like waiting for this callback

She's like you know doubting herself doubting her acting ability And this this roommate friend of her Is this supposed to deliver the message And it's like oh I'll deliver that message But not before fucking with this person For a few minutes

It's definitely not like Sandy fucks with people constantly like in literally every episode so she gets the part she's super excited it's um she's trying to she's trying to her and this is a Melrose place staple of

bad roommates and nobody knows what a common area is for no one knows how to fucking live with another person I'm sorry you're all in your mid-20s figure it the fuck out you're all in your mid-20s all of your bedrooms have doors on them exactly let's do something here Sandy if you need to run your lines

you want to read your lines you want to focus on those, go in your room and close the door. Rhonda, if you want to fucking practice, you know, pick out your new songs for your dance routine, that's great. Go in the room, close the door, keep the volume to a low roar, or use your fucking headphones.

Yeah, but I guess it's just not compelling television. That's fair. If everyone was just sitting in their room not conflicting with one another. That's what everyone's doing now at Melrose's place. Right. I mean, I feel though, like I would appreciate just one episode if someone you know if alison is like you know what billy can you fucking take that huge

computer and go in your bedroom with it and leave it there just once if someone acknowledged a living room every single episode someone should tell billy to shut the fuck up also true so uh sandy is uh reading her lines ronda's listening to the music she's like hey uh could you uh put you and she's actually quite nice here she's like ronda could you please put your headphones on girl because i just i need to these lines right and she's like no I'm trying to get my new songs together for my dance routine I'm like that's the answer to can you put your headphones

on is one of two things A they're broken or B yes of course because all you're doing Rhonda is listening to music I I have a little bit of an argument for Rhonda on this one okay it's she has to hear it in a full room

because it's going to be playing in a full room and like she needs to hear like I'm sure the acoustics at the fucking Ronda's aerobics are insane but uh oh get out of here it doesn't matter about sound quality it's fucking jazzer size dude is it

loud can I fucking shake my ass to the rhythm but also fucking Sandy's like no I can't read my lines down by the pool I can't do it can't do it in my room can't do in the bathroom I have to do it exactly here no but that's the thing Chris you just pointed it out

what is it please child no but you just pointed it out have it exactly right ronda's suggestion is not hey sandy maybe you go in your bedroom it is hey sandy maybe you try to go study lands out by the pool in public of course that's a terrible idea but no one in either situation neither of them say could you please do that in your room listen you know the rule if you're sitting around by the pool matt's going to show him be like hey we could all if you're just sitting around we could always use another set of hands at the halfway house and that's a real problem with living at meadow's place in general steve i think you're

hit the nail on the head is a lot of people want to move here. One of the perks, I would think, right, is that, oh, fuck, there's a pool. That's pretty cool. But after, like, your first week there, you're already bumming. You're like, I can't even fucking sit by the pool. There's this guy, I think his name's Matt. Every time I'm trying to sit up by the pool and just relax, he's asking me to fucking volunteer at this halfway house.

What is this place? So you can't use the pool. It's off limits. Because Matt's the worst. And Malachi Throne resides there, as we all know. Oh, right. He lives at the bottom of the pool. The port of all hell that Mel Ford Row is also being called into from time to time. Also, the pool is also used for being tossed into.

That's actually very true. No, if she went out there to read her line, she'd be tossed in the pool. Exactly. And then anything you, that's just open season. If you have a book, it's going in the pool. You're wearing a beeper, Dr. Michael Mancini. Sorry, it's ruined. It's in the pool. Yeah, Bronda can't get those. fucking page is wet, dude. That patient died because the beeper died.

And then, I mean, to top it off, Sandy is then like, Rhonda is about to make a phone call. And, like, Sandy's like, oh, honey, you're an incompetent. You don't know how to switch over to call waiting. Could you not use the phone? You don't know what you're doing. She claims precedent, though. She says that Rhonda always ignores it and answers it too late and they hang up. That's kind of nuts.

That's a bit of a terrorist situation. You always have to switch over. Absolutely. I've never had call waiting. Is that right? Yeah, I wouldn't even know what to do if something happened. You push the button and it clicks over. I just lived in a world of busy signals or bust.

On your cell phone, you have call waiting now? Oh, I guess so, yeah. Yeah, that's, is that what we're talking about? Modern cell phones? No, but on call waiting is like you'd be on the phone. Right. And then you'd be talking and it would be like a dude in the speaker. Right.

I saw that in movies and television. Right. And then you hit the little hang up on the receiver and it clicks over to the other line. Okay. And then you're like, no, my mom's not here. If you do it too hard, if I do a hard hang, that's probably not going to work, right? What hard is it? Like, if I hold it down too long, like, I'm going to fuck it up, dude.

I'm going to fuck it up. Here's the thing. If you hold it down too long and it hangs up on who you're talking to and you've just like fully hung up that phone, that second line's going to get through and your phone's going to start ringing. Oh, interesting. I didn't know that. Yeah, man. Two-line phone. My brother once dropped our portable phone in the toilet and it whistled like a tea kettle for a while. Yeah, that's something. Just an FYI.

So whatever, like, yeah, so she, we're having a little bit of a roommate drama about. And like, Rhonda is immediate, I'm sorry, Sandy is immediately like, no, Rhonda. Rhonda is immediately like, oh, someone's getting a little too big for their britches. And it's like, I don't know. It's kind of an exciting time for this. it's an exciting week in Sandy's life if everyone can just give her a titch of latitude. Thank you very

much Steve Sadek because these fucking heathens at this apartment complex are crawling up this girl's ass immediately and they're not even taking into consideration like oh man like this is her career this is what she wants to do they're treating it more like oh good for you you got a little part in a thing

I'm on the other side of this completely she's acting like Norma fucking Desmond she's like oh you never believed me did you Jake well fuck you very much goodbye much later in the episode cabin not at the point we're talking about but in Sandy's defense I mean like you got

characters like Billy is like yeah I'm you're doing a little newspaper column that someone uses to line their parakeets cage with sure and everyone in the complex is like oh my God thank you you are doing something oh my Lord and then she's acting in a

major motion picture and you know I'm not trying to confirm that it's major Well, it's a motion picture. It's a motion picture. People love to be little horror, but it's a motion picture. It's a big deal. It'll get on IMDB in a couple of years, Chris.

It's true. It'll be lining the $5 been at the car wash in like two years. It'll be great for her. But see, it's circulating. Billies will never, no one will read a word by Billy. So a word by Billy. So she

good title, honestly. She winds up, she's got a it's kind of a weird way she puts it like the casting agent is taking her out to do to a party it's a party in the Hollywood Hills y'all I'm going to get murdered tonight

so she's getting she's all excited and she borrows Rhonda's outfit without asking and Rhonda's kind of pissed which is fair totally fair don't take my fucking clothes but again it seems like this is going back and forth anyway like the volley is in full force at this point but but in Ronda's

his defense right here she's like dude I fucking wore that twice and you're gonna take it out and she's like I'll be careful with it y'all promise I won't get murdered in it also when me and Andrew and Steve lived together if I had come home and

like Steve had had my faded snapcase t-shirt on and I just didn't say anything about it I'd be like what the fuck dude what do you what's the fucking deal with this and I'd be right to say fuck you also if you yeah if I was wearing your faded snapcase t-shirt you should call the hospital because I've lost

my mind also you'd be swimming in it yeah a little bit at the time you need to get the guys with the white outfits and the butterfly nets just because it's a sign of a much larger problem so she she's on her way out and in comes the entirety of

Melrose place mostly it's Michael Jane and Matt of course it's everybody who doesn't have anything else to do on this Exactly, and they've got a cake and balloons And it's a nice gesture But it's like just the wrong timing It's a nice gesture but like it is

It's going overboard man And they're like Yeah, we're throwing you apart She's like well I have a date And he's like bring him along And it's like well no We're going somewhere else And he's like oh okay

And then she's like The casting director's coming over here I don't want to see fucking balloons I want to play this a little bit cool And Ron is like You know what just forget it just say it was my birthday or something. Yeah, yeah.

And she's like, well, let me get these balloons out of here, y'all. And then Ronda's like, God, Sandy, just leave him. Then the next day, how does this blow up? She goes to the party and then she comes home. Oh, yeah, so she goes to the party. She comes home. And she is laughing like fucking Frank Gorshian on the set of the Batman show, man. I don't know, I don't know what gas she was cast with, but it is terrified.

It's eerie laughing. It is. And I think the thing here, at least I wanted it to go this way and it doesn't but I was like oh this week's lesson is Sandy learns not to do cocaine at Hollywood parties I seriously thought she was like

drugged out of her mind I think she's supposed to be drunk or something I was expecting one of like the casting director or some of one of her producer friends to like hit on her really aggressively like to have the Allison storyline from the beginning of the season right right and that just doesn't happen

she just comes back like I like I literally was Norma Desmond like you don't know what it's like yet all my dreams are coming true you would expect it to be a bigger moral quandry than should I be nude in a film and that is like a big high stakes moment for Sandy in this well it would be it would be high stakes for me dude if I was asked to fucking show my cock in a movie against my will and I didn't want to do it that'd be pretty high stakes sure but I mean whatever man so jake is like hey want to fuck and she's like not really because we don't go out and like i mean she kind of shoves it in his face but let's be honest here this entire season jake has been going up to sandy letting her smell it like oh i'm fucking this high school girl

ooh i might be fucking alison and now all of a sudden it's like want to come into my room and she's like nah dude you had your chance check great it's great to do a power move against this guy right he's gotten everything he's ever wanted except for a job or money yeah but the the thing right before this though is i think speaks to chris's norma desmond idea here because jake's like oh that's so great you got a part you know i always knew you'd make it and she's like don't lie child i know what you thought yeah like you you always thought i'd be a fucking wash out spit out the back of the porn industry he probably did

oh he definitely did they all did that's the thing that's why you know what sandy's right fucking lay waste to this fucking place the smartest thing she ever does is in the next scene when she tries to move because she's running lines with ronda and ronda it's like oh it's like some

it's your classic thing where it's not even at all in what we see later on but it's like you're going to get exactly what you deserve because you treat everyone so horribly it's like that ain't in the script y'all she's like i guess i got carried away and then they start like sniping at each other and she's like could you not do this i have i'm literally about to go to the biggest uh a job of my life in hours and you're throwing this shit at my feet right now not a good friend move not the time for it and she's like

she does the whole like you've changed and all of this and it's like listen nobody especially sandy asked for that party ronda i know that your ass is burned about that but nobody asked for that. The party's the stupidest idea in the entire world. Like, you shouldn't, for that little thing, for the stabbing four, you know, no. Yeah. At least wait until, like, filming has been successful. Like, if she's got a rap on the movie, it's like, oh, she wrapped her first motion picture.

That's awesome. And the argument, Rhonda does have a point because she's like, look, I'm going to be your friend, but I'm not going to be a dormant. And Shandy's response to that is, oh, well, then I guess we're not friends there. Yeah. I'm sorry about that, honey. I can't walk on you. constantly. Fuck you.

Also, yeah, if you're doing the party thing, it's got to be like, hey, Sandy, are you free Saturday night? Oh, why? No reason. Just be here Saturday night. That's the way you do that shit. Because the way that she actually does it, Steve, good call. It actually starts the whole

Sandy reaction to the party off on the wrong note because she's like, oh no, child, he's here 10 minutes early. Oh, I'm not even dressed yet. Rhonda, can you get the door? And Ron, Ron, is like, no, you get it. Because she knows that the people are at the door.

And Sandy's like, Rhonda, just please get the door. I'm just not dressed yet. But then she's like, she doesn't understand it. So she just goes to the door angry. So she's, the emotion she's feeling is like anger and frustration when she sees these people compounding her nervousness about this party and the role and everything else anyway. So the whole thing, like Rhonda should have found a better way to be like, oh, you know, know what, I'd really love to go get the door, but

ooh, I got to go take a shit. There you go. Always, always, always the reason. Just go with it every time. So Sandy's just like, look, I guess I'm moving our child if we're not even friends no moors. Bye, y'all. And this is exactly the energy I want

to bring to set. Thank you so much Rhonda for being a good friend. I'm in a great mood to fucking get murdered today. Oh, you don't have anybody else to take my place? Bye. so she does go to set we do we're having a little bit of fun this week on merylowe's place because we're like we're pretending you know we're not telling you were at the scene right now it's just uh sandy in a in a bog walking around

uh and of course this this overweight minor comes to grab her yeah it's my bloody valentine for sure yeah i think we were we were all just about to say the same exact thing yeah you can't use a fucking minor as your character dude that's an established horror villain. Right. That's like if a guy in a hockey mask came out. Yeah, it's like a less obvious version of that. But like you kind of know immediately

though, Steve, because she's like in a forest out of nowhere. Yeah, it's fair. And she's very much dressed like a, like camp counselor, Friday the 13th type character, you know, like the fucking Daisy Dukes and a button down shirt that's tied off kind of a thing. She sees a dead body

and then she's faced with the fat killer. I love what this guy eventually takes off his mask and they're behind the scenes on the set and he just looks like a real like a heavy heavy cane hotter with the mustache. Cate Hodder if he never hit the weights. Yeah, it's like cane hotter on the off season on the convention circuit.

Candy cane hotter. Good old kit cat hotter. Yeah, exactly. He fucking kills Twinkies. you'll never be ready for the fat killer you'll be out of breath when you meet the fat killer

get ready to go on a diet of blood with the fat killer you may think you can outrun him because you can it's the fat killer escape by doing a single pull-up to avoid the fat killer

he's breathing heavy but you're not breathing at all oh there it is there it is that's the one that's on the poster so it is the fat killer he's just kind of hanging out this director it's such a strawman bullshit thing

they they immediately choose a female director for no reason like name me fucking I mean I know the last nightmare movie is directed by a woman there are female slasher directors but they turn her into the Harvey Weinsteiny cigar chomping like

I mean, that's why. Now you're going to take your top off. And it's like, okay. Because if a man was doing it would be like too heinous for television. That's it. I mean, that's exactly. That's the only reason why the director of fucking bloodbath four or whatever this is is this woman to be like, oh, see? Like, it's just the industry itself.

It's not a man problem. Yeah. She's got a great line too. It's like, oh, what you don't want to do a topless scene? Well, you know what? You're not special. You're a piece of fucking shit. And I can get a little.

another piece of fucking shit in here within a week. I mean, to this director's point, this director knows that she's making bloodbath for. Yes. Like, and she's totally right. I mean, it is a slasher movie.

You'd think Sandy would have some knowledge of that, but they should have obviously told her before she had. Oh, yeah. You can't fucking spring this on people. And that's got to be like contractual things. It should be. Is she sag or what? It's my question.

Because I feel like SAG wouldn't let this. But I mean, obviously, this stuff happens all the time, sort of, but not like this. not like this i feel like it probably does happen like this an awful lot i mean if you're working for like a troma level movie i don't think there's too many checks and balances going on there oh definitely not you don't want to look at those books too yeah a trauma level is checks and bounces yes yes do you think when people get there like you know a lot of actors on

twitter whatever will be like oh i got my six cents uh whatever check and then someone's like yeah my six cent check check from Trouba bounced. They sent me a check for a negative amount. So when I deposited it takes money from me. It goes back to Lloyd Kaufman. It's the perfect crime. So she and like, so the thing is like, we're going to do.

That was great. Let's do it again. This time he's going to slowly cut into your shirt and grab your breasts. And it's like, okay, she's really uncomfortable. She doesn't want to do it. But then she, you know, she gets talked to it. because this woman kind of bullies her and then she does it

and the guy's like cutting off her shirt very slowly and then we cut. You hear the director too like giving like direction to the guy playing the killer. The fat killer. And then like back to directing Sandy and she's like, that's right.

Yeah, just let those tears keep flowing. Yeah, dude. And you're like, man. Okay, female director. That's, you know, that's how it is. These women directors, man, they're a real fucking terror on set. Also a thing about,

what the direction is doing here. It doesn't make any sense because from the first take... Yes. It's clear that what they're filming here is like a jump scare. This character that Sandy is playing is going to be murdered immediately.

I mean, the weird thing about it is like, they're making a point of like, this is awful, she shouldn't be treated like this. Let's also show it happen. Yes, oh, of course. You could have just cut there also making the episode shorter, which makes me happy. Well, Chris, this is the sexiest moment of the show.

Yes. But it's bad. It's bad. Don't you know it's bad? What she's directing in the second take, though, is like from a different part of the movie and something that would be happening to a different character. You know what I mean? It's more like, okay, that was great. Thank you so much. Ah, you want to do that as pornography? Yeah, let's do that as pornography now. That was good. We tried it once. Not as pornography. Let's do it now as pornography. What I'm going to do is do a Jonathan Demi close up on your chest. uh yeah i mean it's it's truly awful and like you kind of it cuts like after the dude like cuts off the second button of the second of two buttons yeah the final second and final button yeah uh so we cut there she comes she's now moving out um and as she is uh is this what she runs into jake and she yeah she's she's got she runs she runs into jake and they have a scene and she kind of explains and it's and again pretty good amy lo kane acting here

now that the accent isn't tripping her up. I definitely think San's accent, we have an improvement on the performance, guaranteed. She's just like oh, you know, and like she relives the humiliation. She lets Jake know what's going on. And she walks out, right? She doesn't actually do it.

That's a question that I think is left open because that's what I thought she was about to then say is like, and then I couldn't do it so I walked off. But she doesn't say that. Instead she says like how the director had the actor like hold her breast and cut the shirt open with the machete and everything and I was like

so they got the take or what you know I I don't know that it's actually clear uh yeah so like that's how that goes and like Jake is like kind of trying to talk her into staying he's like but all your friends are here and I if I get like even if like you know maybe I feel bad the way I treated Rhonda it's it's reason enough to leave Melrose place all of this is reason enough to Like, you know what? I just, I had a what I thought was going to be a good week and like, yeah, it went shitty because of the other stuff. But also went shitty because these people will not leave me alone. Totally. I just can't get a lick of privacy. Also, I can still work at shooters. They can come see me there. At least there's a fucking, there's a framework here for a friendship. Yeah, they show up, they show up there anyway, you know, they abuse that relationship at her job.

Does she need it in her private life too? Yeah, exactly. Also, though, her weird thing about like, oh, you know, don't worry. There's someone I know from the production who's hooking me up at a guest house in the hills somewhere. And I was like, is this woman going to live on the street? Like, is that a fake story? Like, I couldn't get whether or not

she was telling the truth about that. Maybe it was either between her or Kate O'Kalind for that guest house situation. You don't know. You didn't know who was going to get it. Right. That's actually true. A long-haired blonde. either or that's what the one who appears to like surfing

and one who does not so whatever she winds up staying at Melrose place and everything works out right she apologizes to Ronda Ronda apologizes to her and like Ronda even says like you know I got a little jealous to him like a fucking course you did Ronda because your wheels are spinning remember

when you turned down that dance troupe for no reason exactly excuse me Ronda like this was just what last week we were talking about this that's what's killing about this is the only people they encourage is billy everyone else it's like no you should feel bad about trying to succeed at life maybe because billy is the one they secretly definitely don't like so they're like oh yeah let's encourage this guy so he gets a solid career gets successful doesn't need to have alison as a roommate anymore and he can fucking leave this place that we all treasure so much or we

all know he's so fucking talentless he'll never do it let's just keep pushing him so we look good and when he out he fails out it's true and bonus points if he winds up face down in the pool fantastic malachi throne fed again so that's it we've been teasing it everyone you know the throne heads out there going nuts waiting for this storyline for weeks uh so this is that's that's that's said his thing she just they make up everybody's happy blah blah blah blah she didn't fuck jake but jake's looking out for like a big brother these days yada yada yada should be off the show in three weeks um we're gonna go They end with, like, eating cake together. Oh, that's what you...

Let's pig out, child. So... Hey, y'all, you got any cake left from that party I hated? Where are your balloons? I love those balloons. I'm sorry I said that. Hey, who wants to watch my pornography later? Jake raises his hand.

So, uh, we start off Allison is cleaning. She's... And again, she's up Billy's... Everybody in this... You guys need to fucking break up, dude, because... either fuck or break up. Because she's up his ass, like, where have you been?

I haven't seen you. And he's like, I don't know, I had a dark night of the soul. I kind of just walked around a little bit. And she's like, Billy, this is L.A.

People don't wander. I was like, Skinrow has something to disagree with you about. So whatever. She's, you know, they can have a little blow about, you know,

Billy has some short story idea on a cocktail napkin. Fucking put it on like a piece of toilet paper and then like fucking soaked it in red wine or something. Yeah, you're going to look at this thing? It looks disgusting. Why would you ever keep this? Unless it was covered by additional garbage after she threw it. Alethan, I had an idea for a short story.

It said beginning, conflict, and epiphany. You can't throw that out. It's a killer idea. It's so important, too, because the newspaper shuddered. The free newspaper is gone. His column is gone. Oh, yeah, dude. He says it went under.

And she's like, what, how does a free paper go under? he's like, I don't know, Allison, I'm not a newspaper scientist. Allison, I had this great idea for a movie called The Silence of the Sheep where a young FBI, a young FBI, gets with a catalyst to killer. Billy, you got to stop coming up with ideas when you're sitting right by my video shelf, bud. So, he's like, well, fine, forget you, Allison, buy, go to work or whatever. So she does, and Billy gets a call from his parents, like, hey, we're all excited to to see you this weekend, you and Allison

both, they're like, oh, fuck, it's that weekend. So he goes to her place, her place of employment again, he brings her flowers and he's like, oh, listen, I was being a great A jerk before. Sorry about that. Yeah, she works at D&D,

Dungeons and Dragons. That's what I thought the entire time, because she keeps on answering the phone going, D&D. Oh, please, D&D. Billy, what are you going to do with your mage? D&D, what did you roll? Hold, please. D&D, what'd you roll? Hold, please. D&D, Andrew doesn't know how to play it. Hold, please.

Well, I don't know. If you don't have enough XP points to beat the dragon, I don't know what to tell you. I honestly don't know what to tell you. Customer helpline. Well, if Derek, if Derek is your Gia, your game master and he's giving you bad roles, you've got to talk to Derek. We can't do anything here at D&D industry. That's a Derek problem. The Indies Industries. So whatever, he's like, oh, you know, my family's got this awesome place in Palm Springs, want to spend the weekend with us. Everyone's going to be there. It's going to be great. She's like, I guess so.

You know, absolutely not. This is what you do. I am moving out. Thank you. Me and Sandy are going to get a place together somewhere else. Those are the two that only have like a little bit, like have any kind of decorum about them. she's like she's like hey billy you remember a couple weeks ago when me and sandy had that heart to heart at the abortion clinic well it turns out ever since then we've become really good friends and we're just going to move in together so i don't know maybe you can move in with ronda i'm sure she wouldn't want that uh goodbye sandy and fucking alison go and they split oj's guest room and that's going to be a great series for like a year and a half

Allison, I can't talk now. I'm supposed to be hiding this knife. Oh, Allison, the juice needs me to look after his stuff while he's in Chicago. Oh, sorry about this, Allison. I can't meet you for lunch today. The juice asked me to pick him up in the Bronco. I got to drive him somewhere. He just wants to see his mom, okay? He just wants to see his mother. Just let him see his mother, okay? What's with all this police? Can a guy drive? Allison, sorry, me and Al Michaels

need to fuck with the state's timeline. I'll be back a little later. Oh, man. So, yeah, it's important to point out here also that Billy says his parents rent a condo in Palm Springs every year and not only is Billy

attending, but he has multiple sisters who are also attending. It's very important to keep that in mind. And that makes sense, and when they finally get there and is like oh elephant they're at the doorway and it's like oh little thing I got I forgot to

tell you my sisters aren't coming and she's like well that just really sucks because now it's like now it's like this weird double date like with me and your parents that's much more awkward than just a friend coming over it's like yeah oh also I told them we were going out

a little bit a little bit high to brother Andrew could you please come on the show no I'm not doing that Andrew could you please come on the show. We have a special part for you. I know. I'm not doing that. Thank you very much. I have the

saint to do in three years. Alathan, it's going to be great. You're going to beat my sister. She was it back to the future tour. You love that movie. This fucking Custanza level web of lies that he's got going on here, dude. Like, they get there, Malachi throne.

By the way, if you don't know what we're talking about, it's the name of the actor who plays Billy's father. Well, it's a William Sr. And you can only say it when you write it in blood. Absolutely. Yeah. If you say it backwards, three times,

he goes back into the pool, into the hell dimension. So he's like making smoothies or cocktails or something, and they're like just talking to what they think is their son's girlfriend. And then it also comes up that he has fucking told his parents that not only are they dating, but that she works for a literary agency. A literary agency that sold his script question.

Right. Yes. It's all, none of it makes sense. But, and I feel like Billy thinks here it's like, oh, wow, perfect fail-fif. I'll just tell them that it's in development hell and we'll never know when the movie's actually going to come out. Because, yeah, it's also, yeah, she works for a literary agency, the same literary agency that bought my script. Wow, this is getting fucking heavy, dude. Oh, so you're loaded then or something, right? Yeah. And so she's like, can I talk to you outside for a second, dude? And she fucking calls him out on this. And in the big.

biggest asshole line, I think he's had the entire series so far. He's like, Alethan, you should be flattered. And I'm like, dude, what are you talking about? And again, it's one of those things that he doesn't even, he learns a different lesson in this episode. He does not learn not to fuck with people, which is the lesson he should learn. Yeah, stop using your friends like this.

Allison, you should be honored. This is one of my wackiest games. I chose to include you at my wackiest. of hair brands the games yet. So she's like playing along as best she can, even though the lie keeps moving. And it comes to pass

that Billy's dad wants him to take over the furniture store. He gave him a year to not do that. But now it's come time to do that. This dinner scene, my fucking God. It's straight out of Todd Solens. Malachi throne is over there saying, it's the good jeans that make you talented.

Like, I'm like, holy fuck, dude. It's pretty. serious. And again, like, Dr. Eugenics over here. We should say this dude's voice beats the fucking band, man. It is velveteen and awesome. It's so great, dude. His voice is so great that I

was thinking about, like, looking up ladder in life Malachi throne rolls just so I could hear him speak further. Because he doesn't have a ton of lines in this episode. Well, you know, once you get to hell, he's probably like the boat man or something. Yeah, like

the devil likes good soothing voices. It's like him, Leonard Cohen, Nick Cave. Oh, he's on retainer. Yeah. Michael Jackson. Oh, man. They have a fax machine in hell now. So, look, whatever, she goes to bed

and he's... Okay, hang on. Before we get out of the first night here, this is why I was talking about he says that the sisters aren't going to come after all or whatever because the two of them are forced to sleep on a fold-out couch together is the thing and if this condo was originally supposed to sleep like three different siblings and partners

why are they sharing this fucking couch because Elizabeth Shoe was an adventures in babysitting she could get a hotel room I mean, it's just insane. And also, Billy, God damn it, dude. Billy Campbell, you fucking son of a bitch. Allison is like bundled up with like pajama pants and her bathrobe and slippers on. And he's laying there fucking spread eagle and boxer shorts like, Al that I promise.

No funny stuff. Just come to bed. And I'm like, dude, if you are sharing a fucking bed with a platonic person where there could be sexual things going on, you got to fucking at least put a shirt on. put pants on. He's like laying out, dude. The fucking sunning his taint. The mouse is going to come out of the house, okay?

Yep, exactly. Boxer shorts like that, forget it. 90s boxer shorts without the button? I didn't see a button there, dude. Nary a button to be found. So whatever, that all happens. He explains that his dad is really pushing him to take the business over. And you know what?

He's just going to do it because he's a fucking pushover. Also, the thing that we don't say in this episode, absolutely is happening. Billy's getting money from his parents. Can we just fucking stop already? We just fucking stop. Because that's his whole plan right? Because he says like, okay my parents said I could

have a year to try to do the writing thing which also anytime you're doing like a career goal thing and it's like I'm giving myself just a year to do this and then if it doesn't happen in a single calendar year I'm giving up bad move because it's never going to happen in the first year.

We've already given up. We get this full, like, story of William Campbell, Sr. and, like, his life and everything. And all we get of his mother is, I'm good at sauces. I've got to tell it for sauces. This mother looks like

the fucking old lady from Brazil, though. You get a look at the smile on this woman? She is lynchian and terrifying in her own right. Absolutely. Also, Billy should just work at the furniture store and write after hours. Why is it such a big fucking deal? Thank you, Eric. Thank you.

Like, because he'll make more money than doing that than taxis. And tell your dad, like, look, I don't want to take a management role right now, but I can, you know, I could learn the business for a couple of years while I try and get my writing thing going. No promises that I'm going to take the business, but I'll have one foot in one door and one foot in the other. Exactly. Exactly. This gets confusing because Billy, Billy acts like he left home to go to L.A. To make his fortune as a writer. And I'm like, the fucking furniture store is in L.A.

dude it's right down the street from shooters probably what the fuck are you talking about well he said he was from the valley or something well that's we pretend in this beverly hills nine oh two and no universe this is still the extended universe chris then all this stuff is miles away beverly hills is its own fiefdom on a hill and then you have to fucking take a boat to melrose place and you have to take a fucking boat to models ink or whatever like it's the same fucking nine blocks it's like the keys i want to see the fantasy novel map of that Beverly Hills and Melrose Place. Just all the borders, the, the craggy mountains that are in between.

Yeah, exactly. And there's a fucking giant evil tower where a Malachi throne resides and sells furniture. Jesus Christ, did you know that Beverly Hills has a king? I did, yeah, yeah. Outrules the president. It's kind of amazing. So whatever, we see this furniture store. It's just your classic on the strip furniture store.

Like, Billy's doing his best to sell But not doing a great job Like, it's a couple that want Paisley instead of whatever the fuck fabric And like his dad stops mid-sale By the way, he's like, oh, Billy, You're doing such a good job Selling furniture.

You're a natural, Billy. You almost have their souls, Billy. Just go back and seal the deal. Make sure they sign on the dotted line. Yes, Dad. I'm about to make $400. Congratulations. Keep it in your pants.

He keeps not actually like he's a young Shelley the Machine Levine in the sales room. And like all he's known is, yeah, it's a couch. Can you pay for it, please? And like, he's just like, oh, you were just made for this son.

You were just made for this. And I'm like, dude, just pay attention for five seconds. I beg of you. Malachi throne kind of shows his hand here as a bad business manager because when he's trying to give his pep talk to him, he's like, oh, yes, Billy. Do you see across the sales floor those two other idiots over there,

Flotsam and Jetsam? Yes, they've been working with me for 25 years, and oh, Billy, are they terrible at selling things? And I was like, dude, you have kept these people on for the better part of three decades, and you think they're terrible at what they do? Oh, yes, and they steal from me, Billy all the time. Oh, I'm pretty sure one of them is sleeping here,

after hours, Billy. I can't prove it, but someday I will. Okay, Billy, you don't have to sell furniture, but just watch the register. Make sure they're not taking anything. Oh, there's a hole in this place, Billy. I don't know how deep it goes, but we just can't hold on to money.

But I mean, I do think that, like I said, that there is like, okay, Billy, I'll give you $1,200 a month for rent and other expenses, but eventually the furniture store is mine or yours actually I mean but that's the thing dude and I feel like that's a thing

it's unfortunately unsaid yes because nobody really talks about this in television in that way like at least then is like his parents are helping him out but like Malachi throne's going to be like all right Billy the faucet is being turned off you're coming home to

sit next to the throne while Malachi throne is like taking the eyes at newts for the next fucking you know meeting he's like telling him like I'm sorry I did that I pressured you like this

it's bad to do that I know I just expected you to do this because my father didn't be he's very very like honest with him and trying to be heartfelt and then Billy's like well dad you were just you were always about furniture you had no other interests you're hollow inside other than furniture

and I'm like no he's not he's a man what the fuck yeah exactly I fucking thrown. He's more than a man. Well, I did, you know, my occult business didn't take off the way I wanted to do, so I just sell a cursed furniture. You can only bleed so many chickens dry,

Billy, before the cops come to get you. And then I love his second sales scene. He's trying to make a sale with the legendary Liz Sheridan. You know, or is Helen Seinfeld on Seinfeld, of course. um i think she was also was she in black Christmas actually cabin

was she the house mother in that movie no but you're she is she's a house mother in something oh that's gonna fucking kill me I thought it was that but anyway yeah it's kind of awesome because she's like being like the difficult salesperson or you know sale mark or whatever oh she's the den mother in school spirit previous side of house

yeah but yeah she's just like Like, you know, I bet this fucking sale that you're having is a bunch of garbage. And I think you're all a bunch of filthy life. Oh, right there. I see it. The sign above the door. Malachi throne owns this place.

I know all about that bad. Oh, well, actually, now that I'm supposed to tell you, once you realize you're in Malachi's throat domain, you have to abandon all hope because every, welcome to hell. It just cuts to Malachi throne. Explodio and she burst into place. That'd be pretty rad. No, Billy, you have to go from the gut. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

No. So he gets into it with Mrs. Seinfeld and like kind of just tells her to go fuck herself, which is pretty funny. He calls her a bitch. It's crazy. Not to her face. Not to her face.

Well, thank God. The door barely closes, though. She storms out. He's like, what a bitch? And I'm like, come on, what? Come on, dude. And he tells his dad, like, look, this is just, I tried this for even a day and a half. And it is just not working out.

Dude, the way this fucking loser goes through jobs like this, he's just quitting all these jobs, man. What an asshole. Is he still paying for the fucking taxi? That's a great question, Chris. The cab has not mentioned in this episode. I don't know. They left it all alone. Well, you'd think he'd have to, like, trade off with another cabby, right?

I mean. Oh, he's in that business. Well, yeah, I guess. Well, yeah, it's not like he doesn't own it. It's not his car. But I mean, look, yeah, but to Chris's point, like, did he quit? Did he not quit? Is he right? Yeah. Who the hell knows, right? And who the hell cares? He just gets through life, man. He just gets through life.

I'll go if I'll just work for Satan now. But yeah, he basically, he tells his dad, like, this is not for me. You can't push me into this, blah, blah, blah. The dad's like, I guess, fine with it, whatever. He goes home and it's like, now

because Malachi Throne is like sitting in the office, like he's in the store, like all the lights are off. He's doing the books or something, like looking at the receipts for the day when they have this conversation. So I was like, okay, it's after closing hours for this store. So like post

what, eight o'clock, nine o'clock, something like that. Yeah. When Billy comes back to Melrose's place, Allison's just outside barbecuing in the dark. Yeah. I don't know what's going on here, man. You've never had a midnight burger? Oh, I've had a midnight burger, man,

but I've never been out grilling by myself in the middle of the night. Some midnight nug bags. That definitely. But what's crazy about this grill sequence is they get to talk, and they just abandon the grill with food cooking on it. Great point. Great point. Not good, man.

That's a no-no. The meeting in the furniture store, I mean, like, you have to know, Billy walks in, he's like, God damn it, Billy. The blood orgy is 10 minutes away. Everybody's in back getting undressed. You better make it quick. Oh, man, they do like shuntonings at this furniture store.

Oh, totally. Mrs. Seinfeld's definitely involved. In the back, the throne room. That little haunted turkey from Lords of Salem comes out. I think fucking rules. So whatever. And, you know, we got a here we go again ending here where, where, which again, like, Billy at some point is to be like, you know what, Al, I'm really sorry for that position I put you in. That makes me a world-class jerk, but he doesn't do that.

Absolutely zero apology here. Thank you for pointing that out. And he's just like, oh, all right. Yeah, I guess I'm just going to keep hacking away at being a writer. Oh, by the way, my parents have a boat house in August. We're going to spend a week out there with them. That'll be great. and then like it's a playful like I will not do that Billy Campbell and they're dancing around

and it's like dude stop it with this guy either fuck him or get out of here yes absolutely by the way because that's the end of the episode um she's yelling she's yelling about like what is their phone number which is kind of funny um thick six six six six six evil actually you have to summon or raven I know you gotta go outside and make a bird claw I got it down oh Allison Althud excuse me it's one

six six six evil no but did you did you guys notice this and maybe I just wasn't looking right originally but when Billy so Billy walks into the courtyard and the gag is Sandy has left all of her boxes and stuff

downstairs so he kind of of like looks at the pile of you know luggage and shit it's kind of a funny moment and then immediately upon entering like he goes to the left to his left and that's where Allison

is barbecuing and I was like okay and then they go into the apartment that's right there like closest to them but they must did they change the location of their apartment because weren't they at the back of the complex

yeah probably I feel like that's not something they keep good track of is my guess. No, no, Alison, we're sleeping with Jake tonight. I feel like at a certain point Jake was upstairs, but now he's downstairs as well? No, Jake was always downstairs. But it was just, yeah, I don't know. I'd have to look at it

again, but I was like, did they change where they live just for the convenience of this, like, weird barbecue exchange? Hey, Allison, let's do a home invasion on Matt's place. Hey, Matt, do you have any eggs? no else

and put on this this mask of a rabbit your next Matt ha ha ha ha ha anyways that's it I will do our classic are you excited

to continue slash any parting shots Christopher Cabin who these people fucking suck so yeah I can't wait this was like the one

where I was like I hate everybody so much it was definitely hard for me to get through this. I had to pause like every 15 minutes because I was just getting pissed off at everybody the whole time. But yeah, I can't wait to come back. Let's go, baby. Eric, let's go. I mean, I think Chris said it all. Like, I actually did pause a few times during this. I was excited for Maliki Throne, but I feel like the payoff wasn't really there as much. And we're in Palm Springs

and we're so confined to this shitty condo. Like, I wanted to see him more. Show me more of this wondrous California I hear of so I'm excited to continue and see what happens next year what the fuck Andrew Chuteman yeah man like I say every week I am down to continue this shit

I will say two things about next week's episode of the place one there is like kind of crazy shit that happens so look forward to that but also for Chris Cabin that's season six

Uh, yeah, we didn't get the world was just, yeah. Half bear, half wolves. For Chris Cabin personally, though, there is a great, uh, little bit of personal trivia for you about something involved in the Allison storyline. Hmm. I'm excited about this. Uh, there you go. Yeah. I'm always enjoying the show. Uh, it's kind of amazing just to watch Sandy deteriorate. Like, it's just like, they're just, like, you just imagine Amy Locaine coming in, like, doing that southern accent.

And they're like, hey, Amy, could you not? Just, yeah, we're just going to say no. It's like, well, won't that not make sense? What's my? We're not going to worry about it. It's just, yeah, it's fine. No one's really watching yet. It's okay.

It'd be funny if towards the end of this season or whenever she leaves it, like the last couple episodes, she's like fading like the picture and back to the future. Like just in the show, like transparent looking. That would be pretty great. Why is it Amy Locaine slash guest star on my dressing room wall, child? My locks don't work no more. Yeah, so that's that.

I mean, it's fun. We're having a blast here all the time in the We Hate Movies feed on the live, on the main feed, and the Patreon feed this month. Just tomorrow we're going to record our episode on The Ring, which we're super excited about, which we'll be dropping this month in May. That's a We Love movies episode on The Ring because we're doing all pirates, the time this month on the main feed all Gorvibn, mostly Gorvibinsky movies.

I think he stops directing eventually. He does. Yeah. Yeah. I think does Rob Marshall come in at some point. Rob Marshall, I think, does the fourth. And then I think the fifth, there's like this Swedish adventure movie director that comes in. That sounds like a can't miss.

So, we've also, we dropped an audio version of our quarantine live special mailbag. We'll be doing another one of those, this month look out for that we've also got we did it uh you can check our Twitter for we played a Cinefile

the game for charity check that link out or you can watch it at streaming on their site and please uh donate right and again to be on top of stuff like that you have to follow us on social media at WHM podcast on Twitter or like the Facebook or something be a little proactive folks that's true because honestly we're we're doing a lot more shit

these days and it comes up quick and fast and we don't we can't always like just promo it so so sorry you missed it sorry it is there it is so that's going to do it for this week we'll see you next week for a whole new week of melro 2100 my favorite what my favorite episode of beverly hills 902 and o's first season is coming up on monday so we're really excited about it oh shit until next week i have been stephen saedek andrew jupin eric siska chris cabin take it easy and remain indoors That was a hit-gum.

Thank you.