We Hate Movies - MELR0210 #15 - 90210 "Perfect Mom"

Episode Date: May 11, 2020

On this week's 90210-centric episode of MELR0210, the gang is joined by resident Jackie Taylor Expert, Steve's wife, Jenn, to discuss the truly bonkers episode, "Perfect Mom"! Originally airing November 22nd, 1990, this episode features the mother-daughter fashion show to end all mother-daughter fashion shows, Jackie Taylor blowing rails in front of Kelly AND Cindy, Jim Walsh learning the keyboard for some reason, Brandon cruelly toying with Andrea's heart yet again, David reaching god-tier pervert status, and several pitchers of vodka with lemon! PLUS: A Beverly Hills home that looks almost exactly like the Power Rangers' headquarters! "Rangers! Get out there and find Zordon some more blow!" MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this more-than-necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. Hello, welcome to Melroo 210, a side show of the We Hate Movies podcast where we ask you to remain indoors but put on your sunscreen. As this is a, this is a brand new week, it's Monday.

Those two days before, that was the weekend. I hate to break it to you. Oh. Yeah, see that, and this is the beginning of what we're going to call a new week. They're going to have to start spelling weekend like W-E-A-K. Oh, wow.

Trademarkerick, before I even mentioned him. I am joined with my best fucking friends, Eric Siska. Hey. Andrew Jupin. Yo! And Chris Cabin. Ahoy, hoi.

And I am, since this is a quarantine side show, I have decided to bring on the only person keeping me sane during this quarantine. My wonderful wife, Jennifer Carey, Jen, how are you doing? Pretty good. I talked over you already, so we're off to a great story. Excellent. I love it. Story in my life. Well, the problem is I can't steal your jokes today.

Or I will, but they'll be right in front of you. Yep. Oh, you'll get the glare. Welcome to Dead Air. My best friend and ghost writer, Jennifer Carey. I'm bringing Jen on because she is a, not only is a banger 902 and O episode, she's a Jackie Taylor expert, we're going to call her. Absolutely.

A true aficionado. Got to bring in the big guns. And there's a lot of... Quick question. Jackie Taylor, is she a reoccurring character? Yes. Yeah, she comes back. She has a lot of adventures in the future.

What is the director's name? Because I know they used, it was John Cassavetes, obviously. I forget what the name he used is, though. Yeah, actually, that's right. We're talking about episode seven of season one, perfect mom. Are any moms perfect to you guys? Oh, I wonder. Maybe we'll just fucking find out.

I know some certain moms who think they're perfect, Cindy Walsh. So, yeah, this is, it's actually directed by Bethany-Rudy, not John Casavetes, but it goes places, man. And there's some camera moves in this episode. We're doing a lot. And we're doing, like, video cam stuff, like, you know what I mean? Oh, we sure are. Are we not? Those scenes that you would end at a certain point just to save the audience, the embarrassment and, like, hot feeling on their face.

No, go for the whole thing. Yeah, this is, there's some, we're posting some cringe this week on 902 and O. It was, I gotta tell you, it was, it was a rough time. So it's the early part of the series, so we're starting on, it's kind of like those episodes of Saved by the Bell, where we open up on a banner that tells you what the episode's about. It's like, school, Sadie Hawkins dance this week. It's, um, talent show. Science Fair. I wish it was that kind of music.

Did anybody put, it's like breaking the law by Judas Priest that opens this. It's like, dude. It is some real, like, chunky guitar going on. Yeah. So this is a mother-daughter fashion show this week. It's like the random. I just, here's the thing. For this high school DJ, what time does he get in in the morning?

What time does he leave? Like, when are his classes exactly? I think he's like a, like a 6 a.m. to 2 p.m. Got it. Or maybe like a noon kind of a thing. Really? He sleeps in the boiler room, I think. Yeah, that's where I'm at.

Yeah, I think so. He's just like 40 years old. He does not go to classes. He's just really good at it, though. What's his air name, DJ privilege? What's the thing? I missed it. Oh, Steve, before we get too far into the episode,

you know me and pointing out stuff I notice in the opening credit sequence. You have the thought I had, and I don't know if anybody knows the answer, because it's probably actually lost to time. But isn't it kind of insane at this point? I mean, this is episode seven. Isn't it kind of insane that Douglas Emerson made the opening credits as Scott? Like, what are we doing with that space? That is some hefty real estate that this kid has.

It's, I mean, he has like three lines at episode Max, right? Yeah. Well, I think it's a holdover from their attempts to replicate the DeGrassey formula, which they're still trying to do somewhat in these early episodes, which always had like a popular kids, like, loser kids like your tear and I think they were trying to do that for a long time then obviously they give it up and I won't spoil what happens oh oh we all know we've been talking about Scott's fate on we hate movies probably for 10 years it's also in this episode we get a lot

of the intro moments which is exciting that's true yeah there's a lot of you make a little checklist of like a lot of people are having fun in the credits that happen in this very episode I also find it insane how Tori Spelling is so prominent in the credits when she barely speaks for most of this season. It's obviously, to me, it always seemed like something, but by the end of the season, Aaron Spelling was like, you better put her in the opening credits. And she's going to be a main character, or if this show is off the air. You know, I couldn't help but notice that Douglas Emerson got billed in the opening credits there. You know, who else could get billed in the opening credits is Donna. You know, oh, mother-daughter dance

That sounds like we might want to meet Donna's mother Like, who the fuck is Donna's mother? Look, buddy, I don't really care What you do with her She just needs herself a SAG membership You understand that? Sammy

It turns out she's Donna Jr and her mother's Donna Senior Donna the second I did want to say this before Just to draw Jen in a little bit Jen, why don't you tell us What your experience is with 902-0 Because you're new to everybody

Absolutely. Yep. So I watched the show. So the show was forbidden in my household growing up, which is important to know. It was one of the most of the many forbidden television shows when I was growing up. That list is insane and very. It includes Charles in charge. Family Matters on there? Family Matters was dubious. It was always on the bubble. But because it was part of TGIF, it got allowed in. Why was it on the bubble, though? Because he made his own visage into a robot. I mean, that is forbidden, according to scripture. But it was mostly because it was rude. The Simpsons was rude and not allowed. The Simpsons was rude and therefore not allowed.

9-0-2-0 is not allowed because most things about teenagers that were not allowed. However, my aunt, who was a teenager at the time and used to babysit me very frequently, was a huge 9-0-2-0 fan and would let me watch it. So I saw dribs and drabs of it over my childhood. and then eventually when Steve and I fell in love one of our first projects as a couple was watching 902 and O on DVD Well that was because we watched all you

I think when we met you were watching Degrassi Yes yeah I was doing a big Degrassi rewatch So you drew me into that and the whole time I was like oh you know on 90210 no they did it this way On 902100 they did it and we got through Degrassi Got to the insane series finale And this is old Degrassi 80s Degrassi I've never seen any DeGrassey

de Grasie at all. Yeah, me either. It's so good. It's like this but it's a little better written for sure. It's and like it goes places man. It's a lot of places. The series finale movie schools out is fucking nuts. What is there like aliens

and shit? No but like characters die and it's like and like people go to jail for the rest of their lives and you're like, what did I just watch? And also the final TV movie includes the F word. Yes. Oh, he's just fucking Tessa Campanelli.

And I'm like, what Canadian shit is this? So can I ask, so Drake is in DeGrosi? So does, like, future or young thug show up in 90210 at some point? Well, that's DeGrassey the next generation. We're talking about older. I see. When Drake's mom was in high school. Yes.

It was the 1950s, DeGrasi. Back with Ken. All right, so that's, now we're back to where we are. So it's a fashion show. everyone's walking around the first see we start with Andrea Zuckerman

like in the fucking chomping on her cigar in the in the editorial room this teacher Ms. Rye is barely keeping an eye on this class this is like a free period for her dude that's why she signs up for this

every year this lady has been sitting there doing nothing on various episodes that we've seen so far it's the perfect grip for any teacher because I feel like a lot of teachers in schools It's like, all right, now we really encourage the faculty to get involved in a club or advisory capacity in some way. And she's like, ooh, perfect, the school paper. That thing fucking stinks and runs itself.

Exactly. And you can shove off all the work on some type A psycho. Enter Andrea Zuckerberg. Yeah, the kids at the paper don't care so much if you take a little nip from the flask every once in a while. They think it's just part of the style. This is what it's like in a real newsroom kids, glug. Fucking J. Jonah Zuckerman. so she's like giving out assignments and she's like oh who wants to do the mother daughter fashion show and like and she's being shitty about it and immediately brandon is on up her ass like nobody's fucking business yeah the first note i wrote for this episode was i will kill you brandon

uh yeah it is ridiculous and he's trying to like it's a weird like power grab here because he's throwing an assignment in her face that he knows she was won't want to do just like she always does to him with various things like that swim meat from last week because brandon is is very aware that she wants his dick yes it's it's becoming very clear that he knows it he's just throwing it every time he can get it yeah it's a thing where like he it's his power over her right like yeah he knows he's never going to give it to her and he but he wants her to know that he knows and he wants to tease her a bit yes it's really weird because he's also like, oh, you know, why are you so dismissive, Andre? I think you should cover this, and you can learn something, right, Miss Ryan?

Miss Ryan's like, what? Don't ask me, kids. You solve your problems together. It'll build character because yours sucks. He does say it'll build character with it's like a fucking nuclear line. I don't know, Brandon. I was shortlisted for the shortlist of the booker man. I don't know.

I'll tell you what, man. I would rather cover this mother-daughter fashion show than the other assignment that's bandied about, which is something, something right about how Jim Morrison's a fucking genius. Yeah, no thanks, everybody. So Andrea takes him outside, and she's like, dude, how many times you have to fucking remind you? I'm illegal at this school,

and I can't just bring it my family in and out. And he's like, oh, I didn't even consider that. You know what, let me just throw my mom under the bus and have her, you can just join Brenda and my mother at the fashion. show as a third wheel. And Andre's like, can I? And yeah, Andrew, why don't you come over for dinner as a friend? Why don't you come over for dinner as a friend? She must have a diary of like, what the fuck is this guy up to? Like, does he like me? Does he hate me? What is how it's not like pulling the little girl's hair. It's like fucking psychological mind games. Dear diary,

today I continued slowly going and so. And they never end up together. at all? No. Not even a fling. They make out at some point and then they're like, oh, well, that didn't work in a really annoying situation. Look, and as many people, like Jen could tell you, when you make out and say that didn't work, you've got to push through that.

Yeah, exactly. Just make it one day you'll end up happily married. Two beautiful cats. It's the difference between a good salesman and a bad salesman. so we meet up with Brenda and Kelly and oh no I'm sorry we meet up with fucking Ted Levine in Silence of the Lambs David Silver Dude I you know

Here's what sucks is I think if you look at the track record This is now episode 15 of Melrode 210 I do have a track record somewhere on the show now It being like you know who seems like a pretty cool dude Is that David Silver Oh man you'll love you'll love it. live to regret that statement. I want to put it out there.

I was trashed them from the start. Well done, dude. You called it. And this is like, they're trying to set up like a Porky's-esque kind of thing with him and Scott where they're like trying to like panty raids and stuff. But like when they're, when the main cast is older, you're like, ew. Like, you know what I mean? Like everyone's just, it's just kind of gross.

Well, my question is, is this whole notion of the video yearbook a real. assignment or is that just this dude's cover? I think he got a camera for Christmas. Yeah, dude, I think it's like, yeah, oh, how can I bring this to school? Say, I'll just tell her when it's for a video yearbook. Yeah, exactly. Some of this footage is like meant for his like private vault.

It's definitely a vault, by the way. And yeah, we see through his eye, he's like, oh, yeah, video yearbook. Oh, that Kelly Taylor, she's got the perfect bod. And he's like zooming in on her. Like Kelly's like, her mom's running the fashion show, we'll find out, he's giving out all these dresses to all these girls. They're like swarming over.

She's the most popular girl in school probably. And it's just zooming in. And Scott's like, yeah, man, that sounds cool. And he's like, I'm going to sneak in to the fucking changing room. And I'm going to see it. Yeah. Forget fucking Don Jr. dude. This is the actual Trump Jr.

This fucking guy barging into dressing rooms. And then Scott's like, I don't know if that sounds like a good idea, David. And then David's response to it is, I think she'll get off on it. Yep, yep. Oh, man. Actually, the funny thing was, so, Jen, you will appreciate this. For watching these episodes now, Chelsea's requested that I watch them in her presence so she can also relive the show.

And when that line hit, I just hear from behind me, ew. And I was like, yep, that's right. Now, come on, Scott. She'll love it if I drill a hole and put my eye in it. I think it's also hilarious in that this initial filming scene because he and Scott are standing no more than four feet away from Kelly and he's just like ah yes the elusive Kelly Tanner in the wild and I'm like Kelly say something they don't even like acknowledge that he's standing there there there has to be some kind of like ew geek get out of here or something like that yeah um so like

that that's kind of David's thing it's not even I mean the good thing is there's no real B or C plots. It's really one through line for the episode, except we'll get to Jim Walsh when we get to Jim fucking Walsh. Yeah, we will. Motherfucker, man. But, um, yeah, so like, you know, and Brenda is like, oh, Kelly's like, you know, come to my house later, Brenda. I'm going to, that's where the really good clothes are. I save the best stuff for you and your mom. It's going to work out. Great. And she's like, okay, cool. We go to, we finally meet, I think we met Kelly's mom in like the one of the earlier episodes who was not, uh, this actress and Jalespi. Um, who is playing Jackie Taylor

who is having anyone let's talk about the drink she's having because I'm not sure what this is. It's a picture of vodka. Okay. With lemon slices. Yep. No doubt about it.

The lemon slices cut it a little bit, I guess. And here's the thing, dude. You can't even say that it's like vodka tonic because there's absolutely no carbonation in that picture. It's a famous finish drink. It's a gin and air. there's no ice it's just this huge glass and she she's introduced by say it's her and her friend by the pool and she's like you know what i think i finally got my life together i think you know

everything's going great for me you know don is in love with me by the way oh prince don and she also mentions that it's finally filling up that empty feeling in her life which is just chilling uh Steve to point out something that you've been pointing out since the jump with this show and I never really noticed it because we haven't been to her house that much but Kelly's house you know what this is pretty much

it's pretty much the Power Rangers Headquarters. It's fucking nuts it's amazing it's my dream home it's like if you were making like a sea level sci-fi movie in L.A. and you were like I didn't need an exterior for some futuristic facility

you would use this house. Right this It looks like we're in lawnmower man where they stormed to that was dude that's so funny dude because that was also the same building they used for the Power Rangers headquarters. Oh fuck right I think we talked about it on that episode geez. Yeah totally

there are railings and portholes and silver doors everywhere it's there are telephones built into cabinets. Jackie has not only one but two telephones built on either side of her bed Aye, aye, aye, aye, we're almost out of clear liquor. Dude, that's when this was missing, Cabin. Good call. We needed a self-aware robot as their butler.

Rangers, you need to go to the liquor store. I'm a little tired today. Rangers. Rangers, I need more blow. Rangers, could you just be quiet for a little bit? I just, oh my God. Zordons got a headache. Yeah, so it's her and a friend. And, like, you know, the friend is supportive, I guess, right? She's a... She's a classic enabler, if I think her role. Yes. And Kelly and Brenda show up, and it's that creepy thing.

And you know it's creepy immediately where, like, this is the first time Brendan meets Jackie. And it's nice to be like, oh, wow, your friend's really pretty. She's like, Brenda, you're a knockout. You two must be lethal in high school. Oh, yeah, you're really dangerous together. yeah so like and like she you know brend is instantly enamored with her um obviously because she's still pretty and like she's cool and like she's only three years old than and andrea so that helps they give uh jacky taylor this like monologue before like we meet her and the friend and brendon kelly like she's going through this whole like life is so good there's definitely nothing dark underneath it all that i'm repressing all this this time. It's just so beautiful to be alive. That's why

Jen, you're totally right that Nina is an enabler, because like, how can you hear this woman speak and not think like, okay, so I've dialed 9-1. And when she finishes pontificating, I'm going to dial one again. Whenever someone says they're content,

that's a red flag. They're not content. Guaranteed my. Finally, finally content. That's real bad. Finally. This is it. Like, she's like, oh, and all all those mistakes, those were just lessons.

I finally stabilized. That's great. I do think that Angel S.B. does a good job. In this episode, she's a pretty good actress. She's awesome, man. Yeah, I'm very good. She had a run on Deep Space Nine, it seems. Yeah, she was like some nurse or some shit.

I don't recall her, and I'm well, almost done with my DS9 watch. She's had a very successful second career as an Episcopalian priest. Is that right? She's currently an associate pastor at an Episcopalian church in Virginia. Oh, that's so awesome. She apparently I was looking at... Which we might visit when the band lifts.

Absolutely. My first order of business is driving on down there. Dude, it's like going to Graceland. We've got to score that interview. She, I mean, I don't know when she became a minister, Jen, but she reprised this role. on that reboot that came out back in, like, 2009 or whatever. You know why? Because I was looking at this today.

I didn't know this because we didn't watch the reboot. I watched like five to eight episodes. That show ran for A, five seasons, which is crazy. That's a lot, yeah. One of the main characters is the daughter that they spawned. Oh, really? Yeah, whatever, the little girl. Later on, she gets married to, she gets married to someone, and they have a kid.

And that kid winds up being one of the main. Oh, yeah, I vaguely remember this actually, but I wasn't, like, familiar with this show, so I didn't really understand. Is the someone, someone we don't know, or just you want to keep a surprise here for us? It's, it's somebody's father that you don't know. Yeah. Oh, shit. Oh, my God. It's real good.

So, so on and so forth, they wind up, um... It's Jim, isn't it? It's not Jim. Jim does not leave Cindy. by the way cabin don't you dare fucking spoil that for me like cabin i can fucking smell you combing the internet right now dudes don't do that jim has wandering eyes in this episode so it's plausible um so uh you know so brenda leaves and jacky is getting ready for a date with don she is dressed i don't even know what

like a frank miller nightmare it's this fucking like low-cut outfit with like fucking nautical shit on it. Nautical gold trim everywhere. It's leather. It's strapless, but she's still wearing black pantos. She's straight out. She's straight out of the club from after hours. Yes. And like she's drinking and like Kelly is like, oh, so when did you start drinking again? And she's like, everything's great, Kel. Don't worry about it. There is a fucking really horrific line here where she goes And this is the problem with the whole, like, my mom is going to be my best friend thing, is when that happens, then your mother feels free to say things to you, like, set the alarm. I don't think I'm, no, set the alarm. I think I'm going to be at dawns tonight. Like, dude, I don't need to know that my mom's getting laid. Like, that really should not be discussed. Like, just say, lock the door tonight and leave it at that, man. Yeah, so Kelly's concerned. And also good Jenny Garth acting in this whole episode, I think.

She is legitimately great in this episode, yeah. For sure. Yeah. So you can tell she's really nervous about what's going on, blah, blah, blah. The next day Jackie comes home, makeup is everywhere. And she's like, don't worry about it, Kel. Me and Don broke up. Cancel my appointments.

It's insane that she treats her daughter as a secretary or whatever because she goes through every single thing she was supposed to do that day and you have to cancel. Clear my schedule. I'll be puking and sleeping at the same time upstairs. Did anybody else catch the music cue? Yes, thank you.

It's like the fucking Halloween theme. Dude, Jackie, so you see Jackie driving a very boxy 80s, early 90s convertible, which I fucking loved looking at that car, driving it up their very steep driveway. And yeah, it's just like,

And I was like, is she going to a haunted house? What is happening right now? The night Jackie came home. Or I guess rather did not come home because she was at Don's. I really wanted to see Don in this episode. You know, I could have used it. Because you know why, dude? He's got to be like a super rich dude, but he's fat.

He's got a skullet. That is in a pony tail. Well, she does say like, oh, yeah. I'm not even looking for sex. It's companion. which means he's fat and bald, for sure. I was imagining like a young William Fickner type.

Oh, wow, I think you're giving Don a little too much credit. Yeah, maybe. That's a fucking spicy meat to ball right there. So Kelly's really upset. We should talk about Brenda when she goes home from Kelly's the night after. She's like, Mom, can I have popcorn for dinner?

That's what Kelly's eating. And then, like, Cindy's like, well, I feel sorry for Kelly. Oh, well, you know what? Actually, here's the thing. I don't know what I'd rather want. A nice, wholesome bowl of like Orville Reddenbocker popcorn or this Cindy Walsh chicken Diablo special dude I don't know and yeah so she's like oh you know Kelly's mom is so great she's so gorgeous you look like shit today by the way mom I just want to put that out there and it's like she's like rattling off about how cool Kelly's mom is all this stuff and Cindy's like well I guess I'm not Kelly's mom

then the next morning she's like railing on Cindy about something and she starts screaming and she's like, Brenda, why are you picking a fight with me? She's like, I'm not fighting. It's just that you're terrible. I just always amazed how Cindy Walsh will always take Brenda's stupid childish bait. Like just let it go, man. Just let it go. And partially it's like the whole problem with Cindy Walsh, many problems of Cindy Walsh, who I love dearly, is that she just, what I always think during these scenes it's like Cindy Walsh needs a J-O-B like she needs even if it's

a volunteer position it's like very fulfilling for her she needs something to do because she spends all of her time rattling around this kitchen obsessing over her children's emotional lives and it's not healthy and Brenda is getting easy stuff with her too because like she walks in with

these jeans and a little torn under the butt cheek what is this ass slash jeans thing and they and they clearly don't fit They're like, it's like skateboarding pants. You can fit another person in there. Jordash presents ass slash jeans. I love with, I think it's the, I think ass slash jeans are back.

Am I wrong? Yeah, ass slash jeans are back. A lot of the stuff in the 90s is coming back in a big bad way. Better get flapping cheeks out there. I love Cindy Walsh screaming. It's like in the morning. I think it's the where I'm not yelling, biting thing. Brenda's like fine

Go fuck yourself I'm late for school And my shit heel brothers honk in the horn And Cindy just screams Take a muffin Well that's the other thing too What Jen was saying Which is like

Cindy Walsh was rattling around This kitchen Cooking dinners for I don't even know how many people That's why it's always like Yeah we could just have Andre and Kelly and whomever else The fucking DJ can show up

She's cooking for 12 every night Well absolutely That's the problem like with these types of families where they have to butt into their friends, their kids' friends' personal lives, is then it becomes a thing and from Steve, what you've told me about the show this exactly happens

is that house becomes the conduit for all these fucking box card children to come get two hot and a cot, you know? Like, it's insane but they're opening themselves up to it on their own. She's cooking like Minnesota portions in California. Perfect way to put that. I would hope they're leftovers

but who knows, fucking Jim Walsh might be house in a fucking whole dish of chicken Diablo. Oh, geez, you need another whole salad bowl full of chicken Diablo. Take this to school

and give it out. I can't put it in the fridge. So she goes to school and important to note here that I actually at first I think Andre is like, I don't know if I'm going to do this, Brandon.

The next day, again, maybe at her diary, she came to some conclusion. She's like, you know what, Brandon, I want to thank you for humiliating me in front of my staff

yesterday. It's so important that I learned something that I'm taking down a peg. Also, I need more exposure. Again, as a very illegal student of this school. So, yes, I'll take up your offer to do the fashion show with Brenda and your mom, if that's cool with your mom. And Brandon's like, yeah, no problem. He's so sarcastic to her in this scene. When she's accepting doing something he told her to do. Oh, that's right. He's like, oh, you want to be in the fashion show? I'm like, yeah, dude. And he's like, I guess that'll be like a learning experience. It's like, that's what you said yesterday. You said that sincerely yesterday.

Mind games. You got to keep. He's gaslighting the fuck out of this girl. Dude, this kid's like Professor Moriarty, man. I can't keep up with it. So Brenda goes up to Kelly and she's like, oh, wow, Kel. Your mom, so cool, so awesome. She must be so better than, and like, Kelly's like, yeah, you know, the Jackie show gets pretty

tired sometimes. Like, what do you mean? It's got to be amazing with a beautiful mom who never does coke and never drink. Brenda is so dense. Yes, thank you. Yeah. I mean, like, I don't know what else you need here, Brenda. This girl is clearly asking, you know, for a helping hand here.

And you're just not getting it. And it's really embarrassing. Yeah, it's true. Like, she keeps, like, throwing things in like, well, it's not that great. Oh, yeah. Well, sometimes it's not so fun. And it's like, oh, I, I, what? Do you have too many clothes, Kelly?

Is that we're so upset about? It's like, listen to my words and intonations. No, no, that's it. That's it. That's exactly the problem. Thank you, Brenda. Oh, my fucking God, my friends. We got to not forget, though, right before that completely ignorant discussion happens.

We have another David Silver sighting, and he is trying to score this interview with Kelly again. And oh, my God, is he. walking behind her, filming her, and he says that he has, quote, an incredible urge to sniff her hair. Goodbye horses. It's exactly the moment of In Silence of the Lambs when Ted Levine is like touching her hair in the camera. Yep, right at the end, dude, all he's missing is fucking night vision goggles. Yeah, when he's touching the, when Levine's touching the girl's back,

He's like, good. Oh, good. It's terrific. And she, like, reluctantly is, like, sure. Because it'll be for the video yearbook. She's like, I don't remember ever hearing about a video yearbook. Oh, it's new. Yeah.

Yeah, it's new. Listen, we got to keep it on the QT because they're not going to announce until May. But, man, when this video yearbook is ready. Video yearbook by browsers. so he's like you know Brenda Andre why do you just come over

my house for dinner we finally get to dinner everybody's here Jim Walsh just kind of revealed in this scene you don't know he's at the table and it's like oh Jim's there it's a bad it's what happens

when you start a scene and you don't use a proper establishing shot in any way because like we just start in on these close-ups of the kids talking at the table about the fashion show and then they finally pull out

like one or two minutes into the scene and you're like oh you're eating here too i thought you were on a business trip all right whatever welcome to the episode uh so it's basically andrea's like oh thanks so much for having me you're such a terrific cook that we're doing a lot of let's like Kelly's kind of being like where she's like oh you know and like Kelly's actually giving her good advice she's like you know you shouldn't put mayonnaise and everything great idea is always she's like oh you know next time Mrs. Wall she can use fresh herbs that would help a lot just like I'll take that into consideration, Kelly.

California is so weird. Oh my God, they want to use all these fresh ingredients? What the heck? We can't miss also. There's a great reaction because Kelly gets home with Brenda first while like the dinner's being prepared. And Cindy makes reference to the fact that Brandon is bringing Andrea home. And I don't remember what Cindy says exactly,

but it's something like, oh, his friend from the paper. or whatever, Andrea. And they both, one of them goes, Andrea Zuckerman, and the two of them look so disgusting. And Andrea will be joining them for dinner. Your brother is bringing home one of his guinea pigs. I don't know.

Every time somebody says, Andrea Zuckerman, the Z gets a special hit that I don't like. Yeah, dude, and I don't appreciate it either. And I don't know if the show ever deals with that in any real way, but there's, I believe there's a lot of anti-Semitism not being referenced here. So, yeah, we're just, we're enjoying dinner.

And then, like, Andrea is like the crown fool of this episode, just being like, oh, it'll be so great tomorrow. We'll do the fashion show. Thank you so much, Mrs. Walsh, for agreeing to do this. And fucking poor Cindy has to be, like, fashion show. Oh, what fashion show? Shutter. I mean, this is on Brenda, of course, because Brenda's always wrong.

But Brandon needs to, the night before I'd be like, hey, Mom, by the way, I kind of like put you in a really awkward social situation that I got to prepare you for even a little bit. She gets blindsided by both of her children at this dinner table. It's fucking crazy. Only one of them gets in trouble and I'll give you one guess who. Yep. And then poor Andrea has to just sit there and like, ugh, be in the middle of this family situation, which is the worst thing that can ever happen to you. Oh, no doubt. Yeah.

Well, Kelly must be like a pig and shit. She's like, I love these people's tiny, tiny problems. Yeah. Oh, look at this squabble. Someone didn't get an invitation to a fashion show. Hey, Brenda, have you ever come home and found your mother's face down in a pool of blood coming out of her own nose? There's no syringes here. This is so quaint.

Yeah, awkward dinner is more quaint than cocaine belt down. So, Cindy is destroyed. She excuses herself to clear the table. and Jim comes in and he's like, listen, I know Brenda's shit, but we got to deal with her. We got twins. I'm sorry. I never wanted twins either.

I told you, hon, in the delivery room, we were going to have to point out the evil one to kill it before it was too late. You didn't want to. No, they're like, oh, you know, she's coming into her own. It's very different here in Beverly Hills, yada, yada, yada. Everyone is like 10 feet away.

Jim Walsh, though, I have to say James, Jamesack has some good acting with his eyes here because Brenda comes in in her like naive tone right here like oh hey what's going on in the kitchen and the fucking look that James that cow shoots out at Shannon Doherty well done sir piercing yeah so like you know that Brenda apologizes she's like you know she apologized but then turns it around on her and she's like you know you are more Beverly Hills in Minnesota than you are in Beverly Hills I don't understand And you would be running this fashion show who was in Minneapolis.

And it's like, well, I didn't fucking know about the fashion show, obviously. Totally. Mom, you're overreacting for me lying to you and making a fool out of you. I don't know why. So Kelly comes home to find Jackie totally. Oh, she's locked out of the house. Oh, yes, she is. She's like using whatever handprint that is not recognizing her to open this fucking

the garage bay door I think she makes some comment about how Jackie has flipped over the deadbolt which usually have a key for a deadbolt I had a key for my deadbolt no in my house there was like a dead bolt you could only lock from the inside

Oh so Kelly has to go in through the doggy door where's this dog? I know who's this dog I've never met when I said out loud who is this about the dog oh hello

who are you so she has to to go into the doggie door. It's doing something for somebody. And I want to point out, I like Kelly's wardrobe here because she's wearing, and this is the same clothes she had on

at school earlier in the day when she was getting her hair sniffed. It's like almost parachute pants. Like just almost. Like they're still like trim enough that you're like, okay, those are just some like baggy pants. But if they were any baggier,

straight up parachute pants. Well, yeah, but I don't appreciate the collar and the tags. she shouldn't be wearing those she comes upstairs Jackie is dead to the world and she's like is this finally the day

she's just poking her and like she's like oh what a day sweetheart we have a really bad like when Jenny Garth walks into the room there's a terrible close up

on like an empty bottle of vodka and a glass and there's just like a music cue like bhao wow wow wow yeah she's very upset she like takes her shoes off she's like oh mom blah blah blah she calls up nina and she's like

thanks for fucking nothing nina which i do love uh the next morning and she actually says this she's doing this throughout this whole episode when she's telling kelly to cancel her appointment she's like well i have to be i need to take the whole day off so i could be miss charming for you and your friends are your fucking fashion show and it's like i don't know there might be a middle ground here Jackie. Also, Jackie, like, we could have found anyone to fucking stand there and read names off a card, okay? Like, you're replaceable, Jackie. So the next morning, she wakes up. She's like, oh, five more minutes. She pulls out this Coke and starts doing it right in front of her. And I'm like, wow. What's the story? Morning Glory. And again, she's like, well, I have to do this

if you want me to go to the fashion show. It's like, well, then maybe take the day off. So, yeah, she does a couple of lines. She gets ready. We get to the fashion show. We see, who do we, so it's, we see Donna and all, and her mom get, what if Donna was getting dressed first? And like, this is Donna's mom number one, not Donna's mom number two. She's kind of becomes a major character.

When Donna becomes religious later on. Oh, are you kidding me? Yeah, sorry, guys. Yeah. now what religion Christian yeah I was gonna say probably not hanging out with

Andrew Zuckerman yeah that's but that's like Donna and mom number two this one's just sort of a posh lady I guess you'd call her kind of a posh strong woman and you know we're just going through we're looking at all the fun fashions

Cindy is happy to be at the fashion show she's like you know what Brenda I think I was wrong she wearing this crazy red dress amazing amazing It is a high-necked, long-sleeved, fully-beated, red-and-white ensemble. And she's loving it. Oh, she's loving it. And Brenda's trying to convince her to buy it.

And look, where on God's Green Earth is Cindy going to wear this dress? I don't know where anyone would wear this dress, except to the set of Dynasty. So I really doubly don't know where Cindy, who never leaves her yard as far as I can tell, we'll be wearing it. Are her and Jim going to meet the president? It's an Emmy dress. It's a dress for the Emmys. Well, that's what they tried to do with 902 and O like they did with the Brady Bunch, right? They had Jim Walsh, she ran for president, and then all the kids moved into the White House.

Oh, and around here, this is where, like, David Silver is, like, videotaping all the moms and daughters changing. Oh, yeah, he gets right in there with that video camera, dude. I don't know how he got past security. He's got a flimsy orange bag, badge that says video yearbook coming. through. And then some of the moms and stuff scream at him and stuff, but he's got like a humiliation fetish, I think. Oh, definitely.

Oh, yeah, call me a pig. Call me a pig. Yeah, you might even say he gets off on it. Yeah. So, there's definitely a fucking shitty Cindy Walsh backhanded comment right here because Andrea comes out in the dressing room, all

done up and whatnot. And Cindy goes, wow, smart and beautiful. Oh, man. Andrea is a vision in brown velvet in the stream. It's a Tori Amos burlap sack. Brown velvet, and you're sitting there for a smile. Oh, no, no, no, she's very pretty.

Just dust her off. Just dust her off and she's pretty. Take the glasses off. She's a beaut. And I also don't understand why Cindy and Brenda's dresses are coordinated. Cindy's wearing red and white, and Brenda's wearing white. It looks lovely together. But then Andrea's going to be walking out with them.

They put her in this shit brown. color, just so that everyone will know she's not part of this family. That's what I think it is. I think it is the sweet revenge. I think it was a deleted scene. Someone with a big rack full of clothes comes up to Cindy and is like, and which one for your other

daughter? She's like, hmm, the brown one. So everyone's like, well, where's Jackie? We're going to start in a couple of minutes. Jackie is dressed like Harley Quinn's mother at this point. I don't know what this fucking out

it is, man. Yeah, it's kind of like, oh, man, I can't think of the name of it now, Eric. There's a movie, oh, is it kind of like the uniform that the woman wears in trancers? Is that what I'm thinking of? Man, you know what? It's funny is I've seen, like, transcers one through three and I couldn't tell you. There's some action movie from the 80s. I can't remember the actress, but she's got like short blonde hair and it's in a uniform.

Oh, man, it's going to bother me. If I can think of the, because I can just, I can picture the poster, but I can't think in the name of the movie. If it comes back to me, I'll say. So she shows up,

and David Silver's like, ready for the video yearbook interview? And she's like, I guess so, man. And Jack's like, I got to go to the bathroom. And Kelly's like, fucking great. She knows exactly what that means.

Exactly. Also, David Silver, the most unflattering angle of all time while they're trying to do this interview, he's got it like in this extreme low angle. Yeah. Like, what are you? you doing, dude?

He wants to make her taller. Dude, that's the move. Oh! David's upskirt website needs some fucking material. What am I going to tell you? I also love that they couldn't bother to get Scott for this scene either.

Again, to your point, why is he in the credits? Because Scott, did you notice this, though? Scott is in the crowd. He's in the crowd, and he's loving it. He has such a good time at this show. Because I think if I heard the last name right, Scott has a sister and mother that are participating in this.

Because he's like, they call them, and then the mother and daughter walk out, and Scott is the only, he's like standing giving, like, he's doing a standing ovation. Oh, that's really interesting. I'm going to have to remember that to see if these actors reapprised their roles for their grieving at the site. I assume they grieve over him, right? Yeah, did they get these actors back for the funeral? Yeah. Dude, the Scanlon family is cursed. If we wind up doing this whole fucking series, they keep coming back in all the wrong ways, man.

That's all I have to say A pox on that house There's also this cut They cut to a scene Of fucking Jim Walsh And Brendan arriving At the goddamn extravaganza And he says

A lot of women here Beautiful women here Oh yeah He's going nuts And Brandon's like Yeah I know dad Wow Dad should we be wearing our belts

anymore? I don't think so Let's just go free All right Brandon And look, we're two businessmen from Minneapolis. We just came in on the red eye. I am definitely not your father. Put my wedding ring in your pocket. Put my wedding ring in your pocket.

We're no longer walsh. We're wilsch. The Wilch boys. All them Wilsh boys hitting up a fashion show again. You want a Wilshy? I will not ask what a will she is. Jim will show you. If you have to.

ask you'll never know so Cindy speaking of Wilsh's decides to go to the bathroom oh my god so Jackie is just doing coke I mean first of all I was screaming get in the stall yes I have written down here a stall

Jackie especially if you're doing it a high school of that we're not in the fucking viper room here lady like a little a little decorum if you please she's like oh pardon me I'm sorry I thought I was at a motley crew concert I'll go in the stall now I would understand if you needed

like you didn't have the little mirror with you and you needed some surface to do it off of but you have the mirror So she she's just blowing rails right on the fucking vanity counter And Cindy Wall She comes in she interrupts And looks at Jackie

See what she's doing Doesn't know who she is yet And just goes Excuse me And walks out like okay Bye You know in that situation too It's best to just play it cool

Like, I walk into public bathrooms and see people doing bumps all the time. I'm Cindy Wall. She's like, don't make a scene out of it like that. Truly. It's rude. Frankly, it's rude. Or perhaps you might call it Minnesota nice. She just yells like, excuse me.

It's fucking nuts. She's alerting like, you shouldn't be doing, the way she's doing this. She drives me up the wall. I kind of don't like Cindy. You're right. You're right, too. Yeah, the move is you quietly close the door and you come back later. Or you just go to the bathroom.

Yep. Yes. You just think to yourself, oh, my God. And if she had any friends, she could gossip about it, but she doesn't. So I think that's her problem. Just yelling, excuse me and then closing the door. It's like, what do you, like, go in if you're yelling, excuse me. Great point, actually.

It's a waste of an excuse me, frankly. So, and Brenda's like, oh, my God. you're about to be Jackie Walsh mom. Prepare to have your mind blown and fucking realize what shit you are. And here comes Kokea Jackie. And it's like, oh, hi. Well, Cindy at first, it doesn't want to be introduced to her

because she tries to get out of it as though she could not bring herself to speak to this woman. To shake hands. Yeah, and it would be less awkward if you didn't just yell at her. That's why you don't do this. Again, you just kind of quietly play cool.

So the fashion show starts. Um, this is crazy. It's crazily lit. It's incredibly dark. Thank you very much. One of my notes. Someone turn on the lights at this fashion show. Like, I mean, it's just a mother-daughter.

It's not a real, I mean, like, and, you know, obviously there's, it's high end because it's Beverly Hills, but like, this is nuts. It's crazy. This is a child's fashion show. Thank you. Fashion show for babies. Do you remember any mother-daughter events like this in your high school again? I don't remember any mother-daughter events.

That's a whole other story. they uh cucky is the emcee the master of ceremonies and james zack has likes what he sees here in this emcee let me tell

he says that's a mother and it's like okay geez brend do you think they serve liquor here I get a tie one on when Andrea Zuckerman comes out he's like whoa whoa that

that was the girl at our house because he can't believe that he's being like aroused by her visage. He can't believe what's happening to him, dude. He did not expect this. It is the start of his Penn House Forum letter.

He never thought he'd write. I've been waiting to do this all episode. Can I tell you the age difference between Gabriel Carteris and Carol Potter, who plays Cindy Walsh, and James Eckhouse, who plays Jim Walsh? Less than 10 years. Please.

Carol Potter, 13-year age difference. That's a uncomfortable. Like James Eckhouse six-year age difference. Six years? Six years? James Eckhouse is only six years older than Valley Carter's? I'm serious. That's fucking insane. That's the craziest thing I've ever.

I read it last night. I had to double check. Oh, my God. By the way, Angelisbee, no age listed on that IMDB. No, no, not native. She's a lady, so. But it's crazy that this girl, Could you imagine anyone playing somebody's father

who's six years younger than you? That's really insane. I think it's true what they say. Sin ages you. I mean, yeah, I mean, like, yeah, he's bald. I mean, like, yeah, obviously, like, he looks older because he's so gruff-looking and blah, blah, blah. But I mean, like, again, like, Andrea especially,

when Andre comes out, by the way, she gives this like carry right before the blood splatter smile. This is what I was talking about, Steve, because I think it was literally on the last Melro episode we covered on 902102.1 episode when I was like, dude, what is with that shot of Andrea?

She looks like she's at some pageant and it looks like something bad is about it. I was waiting for the fucking pig's blood. So, you know, whatever. And like this is when Jackie starts. She starts off fine. I think she tells like one off-color joke about like everything's for sale.

Like she's like, oh, these dresses are for sale. but isn't everything? And I was like, well, that's not super appropriate. Yeah, totally. It's a Sunday morning right now. Jim's rifling through his wallet. And she seads into like all-out commentary where like two, mother and darrow coming like, oh, there are the Witsenstein's.

Oh my God. What a bunch of dogs. She's stunning. And it's like, I mean, I guess you have to keep it, you know, pepper it in some like commentary. That's what she's there for. but she starts to lose it a little bit here because she's like,

can somebody get that spot out of my eye? It's right in my eye. Man, it is really uncomfortable when she starts yelling at these tech people and she's got someone and she's like, oh, and of course they wouldn't let us rehearsed the day before without charging us a full

day's price for the red doll. Forty jars, get out of here. Excellent reference. But when she starts like going, and often like, oh, you know, 20s over the hill these days and men can be a model into their 50s.

It's crazy. It's wildly inappropriate. It is. And the ADR in this scene is fantastic. It's my favorite thing in the world. The first one is like someone from nowhere just saying I think that's a bit rude. And again, like stage whispers people, let's not be yelling

at this and making this worse. There's like 70 different ADR, oh my God. And they took the whole run of them. They took them all. Yeah, and she starts getting like the order of the models wrong. People are just saying over and over again, she already said that.

She doesn't even realize. Oh, no. That, I think when she's called, because she's calling for Brenda and Cindy and Andrea to go out a second time and they're just standing there like, and she goes,

you're not going to let me die out here are you? I was like, yep. And meanwhile Jenny Garth, Kelly is watching being destroyed. Again, good acting here. And Donna's mom, Donna's mom number one is just like, to

everyone. And the girl is like fucking five feet away. She's like, she's on something. Yeah. Also Donna and her mom, by the way, only ones in this charity high school fashion show thing, just in these fucking bathing suits. Are you kidding?

me? Did not need that on this. What if Donna wasn't a bathing suit? Wait, what are you suggesting Mr. Spelling? Just putting it out there. Well, he paid a lot of money for some of that. Sag membership. Remember what I said. It's very important. Well, that was funny when we first get to the dressing room and it's like, oh, this is

Donna and her mom. Chelsea was like, oh, is that candy spelling? Is that like the actual mom? And I was like, oh my God, Tori Spelling's mother's name is actually candy. That's pretty great. In the later, later half of this series, Randy Spelling shows up. What is that? What is that some no good Nick's son? Yeah, it's a brother.

And he is horrific. They try to make this kid happen and it does not. Is he playing Donna's brother? No, he's just some kid that looks up to Steve Sanders, I think, in the frat house. Well, that's your first problem. Well, yeah, they met at their, uh, costume club. Yeah, civil war reen action.

Yeah, that's, by the way, that's why Steve Sanders couldn't make it on this week's episode. He was busy at his fucking clan rescue. Exactly. Kelly storm's... Kelly storms out. She's destroyed. Brenda rushes after her. And she's like, oh my God, Kelly, I had no idea.

You had problems. And she's like, obviously. She says flat out. She's like, I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen. It's like, yes, exactly, Brenda, that is your problem. She's devastated. They wind up taking her back to anything else on the fashion show. This is a nuclear scene.

I don't want to brush over it. I mean, it's kind of funny because what we don't do on this show is make any kind of recommendations about whether or not we'd watch it. I have seen a lot of folks online saying that they're watching this along with us, which is really great. I will say if you're not, you absolutely have to watch. watch this episode because this is one of the premier meltdowns

ever captured on film and it is absolutely stunning. It never stops either. It just goes on forever. There are less awkward Lars von Trier I've had nightmares more like stage you know you have the stage of nightmares like oh I didn't rehearse

for the play that worked out better than this it's brutal and because Jenny Garth is one of the better actresses on this show her reaction to it is like even more brutal. Yeah, because they keep cutting back to her getting more and more visibly upset. Yeah, I mean, there's a, I don't know,

I don't know if it's Cindy or Brenda, someone says, I think it's Cindy, she's like, Brenda is like, or Kelly is standing, like still just staring, watching this all catch fire and burn down. And Cindy's like, are you okay, hon, or something like that? And she just goes, no, I'm not. And it's like such a fucking great delivery.

Yeah. She truly is great in this episode. right and then brenda's just like i wish that was my mom mom look how glamorous she is out of that stage it's a beautiful melbourne you can free cocaine so they go back to the walshs obviously we're having ice cream or whatever the fuck greatest cut ever and cindy just starts in well my cousin carrie's an alcoholic

yep exactly dude it is like cutting from kelly running out of the auditorium to cut well my cousin carries an alcoholic. It elicited two huge belly laughs in this household. She's part of some organization. Alcoholics, oh, what is it? What's that second word? Oh, anonymous. Anyway, she's got problems.

Meanwhile, the fucking idiotic donkey idiots from fucking the Walsh boys are playing along the keyboards. I don't know. This is, it's a B story where the beginning got cut out because like, what is this keyboard all of a sudden? Because,

Sidney shows up, she's like, again with the keyboard, Jim, really? He bought it from the guy that sold Gizmo to that family in Grimlins. Yeah, whatever he does it, Brandon goes like, eh, uh, uh, don't worry, honey, I bought this keyboard from an old Chinese man in a basement. And she's like, I've got a devastated young girl down there, and you're fucking around on this keyboard. He's like, oh, but Brandon's like, I'm sorry, but we're in Basanova, hell. And she, like, unplugged the fucking thing practically with her teeth. I think, you know, this episode mainly focuses on a mother-daughter fashion show.

But I think the other story here is that the following week, Brandon and Jim are preparing for a father-son talent show. Oh, okay. You know. That would make sense. Yeah, do it give a, like, Jim Walsh is going to, like, play a tune and Brandon's going to give him a little the old soft shoes. Oh, no. Sweet Jesus, please tell me I don't have to watch this, Steve. No, but next week is a very Jim and Cindy-centric episode. You're going to love it.

So she goes back downstairs. You know, she's given more advice. Jackie shows up. She's more sober, more together. There is something I don't want to miss here because I think it's actually a legitimately nice moment. It's when the four women are talking in the kitchen. and they have this nice thing where Andrea is like you know, Kelly, I think

you are like the strongest person I know because like you're dealing with all of this shit at home but at school you carry yourself so confidently and you always look like you're having such a great time and that takes a lot of strength and then Kelly it is a little like the Cindy Walsh

backhanded coming from earlier but she's like Andre I never noticed you're a very pretty girl like it's kind of shitty but it's also a nice moment where it's like it's that great thing you know you can hope to see actually at like the end of high school when everybody realizes like

it's all over and that shit kind of like melts away it was kind of like that moment a little bit and I was like ooh a genuine moment of reality on Beverly Hills 90210 fascinating yeah I thought it was it was appropriately in character for Kelly to say something nice while also being a little shitty because she still

knows she's got the upper hand here and you can also kind of see Andre making a mental list of all the people she's going to talk to about this when she gets I mean, Andre's going to write a story about this.

Let's call it what it is. It's going in the story. Oh, she would win the like high school Pulitzer Prize for a cocaine meltdown at fashion show or whatever the headline would be.

I think cocaine meltdown at fashion show has to be the title. I think she'll probably also include that night at 2 a.m. when she goes to the bathroom in their house and Jim Walsh says, you know you're awfully pretty. Oh, man.

He's got a little scotch, a little scotch and soda is it? It's the television. It's the television's on, but it's all like fucking white noise on the TV, still sitting in front of it. Yeah, under the headline,

it's like, Slee's father. Some story, Slees father. Routy, Roddy, Peeper. So Jackie shows up. She's still dressed like a maniac, but she's more together. And she's like, speak to my daughter and like you know Kelly comes out

you've know they the Walsh like Cindy when she's closing this kitchen door I'm sure when like they were buying the house like why would we need a door for the kitchen is like thank God we got this they're the great this vestibule is awesome I love this kitchen vestibule this doorway this vestibule of this house is like something you'd see in a mountain lodge I mean it's massive and you know Kelly is talking about like you know this is it. You've really fucked up. You've got to go back to rehab. And she's like, you know,

your, my favorite thing is she's like, yeah, I know it got a little out of hand at the fashion show, but you left early. I finished straw. Jackie pulls out like just a laundry list of classic alcoholic arguments here about how I slipped up and you can't fault a person for slipping up once and it was blotted us so on. And like Kelly's just heard it before. Not having it. We don't see in the fashion show like, is there anyone else to rassel the microphone away from this lady like to do like,

all right, that was Jackie Taylor everybody. Anyways, exactly, because this is like a school function, like you need some administrator from the school. Yes.

This is the principal or like that assistant principal that we've seen that dude a couple of times the guy who was hitting on the Spanish teacher. Sure. Like have that guy come out and be like, all right, you know what, that's enough,

you know, fashion shows canceled. Forever. But yeah, she's like I finished on it. And like Jen said, like she'd give her. all the excuses. There's an allusion to

the last time she went to rehab where her fist went to the kitchen table. Holy shit. I need that flashback soon. I love the name of the rehab place. It's like, Mom, you need to go back to Timber Mills. That's not going to put you down, dude. Right, yeah. Well, that's what happens if you don't complete

the program and the allotted time that it's supposed to be they kill you. So, you know, blah, blah, blah. You know, Jackie leaves. Kelly comes home. And Jackie is now preparing to go to Timber Mills because, you know, she's seen this, you know, and it's a good episode of like, you know, that this has that arc. It's nice that they don't drag this out. Like, you know what I mean?

Like, I kind of am glad that we're, she's going to rehab at the end here. The next morning, they're getting ready for it. Brenda wakes up Brandon and she's like, Brandon, I'm such an idiot. And he's like, yeah, Brand, you kind of are. Well, not only does she wake him up, but then she like crawls into his bed. that's how the last like four episodes have ended honestly like i need them to ditch this idea of like every like third act has to wrap up with like the last two minutes of the episode is the two of them chatting in bed exactly it's not the fucking it's not the end of the brady bunch this is not

the parents you know what i mean like the kids separate bedrooms please so many shows just like act like blood doesn't exist this show pretends that morning wood doesn't exist Thank you. It's a teenage boy. You can't go in there until fucking sunset. Please. Also, the shirt

that Shannon Doherty is wearing here was quite confusing. I didn't know what was going on. I didn't know where to look on this shirt, honestly. So, yeah, she's like, oh, I was so naive, blah, blah, blah. And, like, we all learn a little lesson.

Things sure are different here in Beverly Hills. The lesson Brenda will learn 500 more times before the show is over. There is a good thing that Brandon says here, though, because she's like, why didn't she tell me? And Brandon's like, maybe she tried.

Clean the shit out of your ears. And Brenda's like, I don't know how I couldn't have known. She's my best friend. Like, you've lived here for what, four months? Like, chill out. That's a great point, Jen.

I was like, best friend. I was doing the Larry David. Best friend. So whatever. Kelly calls Cindy and thanks her for everything. And she's like, you know, you sure are the best mom in the world. And Cindy's like, I know I am.

There is kind of a great thing, though, where, like, Cindy, she's kind of like shit-talking, Brenda. I don't remember what exactly she says to Kelly, but I was like, ooh, and Brenda's standing, like, right behind her. Yeah, she says to Kelly on the phone, because Kelly calls Cindy Walsh, and tell her what a great person she is, I assume. And Cindy's like, yeah, well, it is the fate of every daughter

to not appreciate their mother. Goodbye, and it turns around, and Brenda standing. right there. Brenda, what are you doing here? So, you know, they learn their lesson.

They kind of, they hug. And then David Silver shows up. They're trying to redeem this character, which is more they do for that Steve Sanders in the racist episode. That's exactly right,

dude. David Silver's been doing bad shit this whole episode. And it's like, it doesn't make up for the creepiness, but at least he's attempting, like he does do something right, right here.

He shows up and he's got the tape. And like, they're going to the rehab facility. I guess it's like Saturday morning or whatever. And Kelly's going to drive and he's like, hey, you know, I think you'd want, you wouldn't want this tape in the video yearbook. Don't worry. I've cloned the good parts.

Yeah. The video yearbook, aka my archives. She's like, wow. She kisses him on the cheek. She's like, wow, you're a really nice guy. A, he's not. And B, dude, oh, man, that's the next five years, man. I was going to say, yeah, do they, are they, they're playing?

plant the seeds right here, the two of them get together? Again, I can't, I can either confirm or deny anything about anything going on. Senator, I cannot confirm. But like, why couldn't you get, but like, really, why couldn't you have a scene like this at the end of the other episode with Steve Sanders and the basketball

and, like, have him just burning his copy of the Turner Diaries and just be done with it? Well, one thing, a spoiler for this whole show, Steve Sanders never learns anything. Excellent. So they're about to drive off into the sunset And like, you know, it's a nice ending

Where David's like, wow, it's a pretty nice day for a drive And she's like, yeah, it kind of is. Pretty nice day to drive my mom to be at. Bye, David. It's a little more hopeful than that. No, it is. It definitely is, but it's just a hilarious. Because, I mean, it's not David's fault

Because he doesn't know what they're actually doing. Yeah. But it's just like, yep, sure is. We're off to timber him. Bye. So that's the episode. We want to, I mean, we're going to do all of our plugs and stuff. I want to thank Jen for being here.

Thank you, Jennifer. You're very well. I had nothing better to do. Weird how that works out. Neither did we. Nothing better to do. Jen, where can people follow you on Twitter? And I know you do a lot of awesome activist work and are part of a great organization.

You want to tell anybody about that? Absolutely. So you can follow me on Twitter at j.org, which is J-A-Y-D-O-T, K-A-Y-D-O-T. And there you'll find some information about the organization I work with, Survived and Punished New York. We're an organization that works to help free and support criminalized survivors of domestic and gender-based violence. And if you want more information about that, please go to our website, which is

Survived and Punished NY.org. And if you click on the mutual aid link, you'll find a link to our PayPal where we're currently collecting money to send packages, food, and also money directly to criminalize survivors who are currently being held in Bedford Hills Correctional Facility, where if you can imagine the COVID crisis is hitting pretty hard. So if anyone out there can help out or wants to know more about our org, please look it up. Yeah, and thank you. Yeah.

And I mean, obviously, like right now, everybody's looking for good organizations to donate to. And I've already donated quite a bit just because I have sent in some meetings. It's a really great organization. So I can't recommend it enough. Thank you so much. So thank you guys. So on the We Hate Movies Show, here. Tomorrow, it's

accidentally wife week. Let's not call it that ever again. Ew. Yeah, I know. It's like shark week. I quit. That's why I wait until the end. Chelsea's going to be on our Pirates of the Caribbean

Dead Man's Chest episode. That's a super exciting episode. I think we're dropping some Patreon content, probably an animation damnation on the Jetsons is coming up this week. We got a lot of cool stuff. We just, we have it on patreon.com slash we hate movies. We're going to be dropping some stuff about the ring, a full

episode on the ring. Our standard nexus stuff is coming up. We've also got Don's Plum, a side order of slees, a lot of cool stuff. And of course on Thursday, we're going back to Melrose Place. Guys, you're excited? I'm always excited to visit the place, dude. You know me.

Oh, I'm sorry. I should have said before I did all that. So before we end, I usually do a parting shots and or are you excited to continue watching this? Jen and any parting shots or anything like that? Absolutely. I will continue watching the show for the rest of my life. And I love it so very, very much.

Chris Cabot, anything stray on the episode you didn't get to say? Somebody has to witness the criminal life of Jim Walsh and Brandon Walsh. And like, I'm just ready to do it, man. And like, yeah, let's keep this fucking train going. Eric Ziska. Yeah, I'm very excited. This was a great episode. I do want to echo that.

Like, if you haven't watched a single one of these, check this one. out because it's got a lot going for it, including Caligula Walsh, which is the name of Chris Cabin's fucking track on this recording for some reason. Oh, you know the reason.

Andrew Jupin, anything? Oh, yeah, man. It seems like the beef here will continue as far as I'm concerned until they figure out just what the fuck they're doing, because what are we talking about here? Like, Steve Sanders, I don't give a shit. No, no

Dylan McKay in this episode? Yeah, tragic. Hey man, I could judge this fashion show. It's just all right there and I feel I think Dylan sold her his mom the Coke. No, it was a friend of Dylan's dude. He just allowed both of them to meet in his hotel suite. No, it's amazing that because really my only experience with watching Luke Perry do anything was Luke Perry in the Buffy movie and Luke Perry in

sadly his last role in once upon time in Hollywood until I started watching this and I never realized how much of a fucking dynamo that dude is and every time he's not on screen I am literally like where's Dylan I want more of this guy so hopefully that kicks in for next week

but I'm always down to clown with the show I will say just to plug later this week the episode of Melrose Place we're talking about is called Lonely Hearts you may also in advance want to check this one out because It involves Sandy and a fucking psycho dude breaking into her house. Oh, shit.

It is quite something, everybody. I'll just put that out there. Ripped from the headlines. No, it's not real. I don't know why. So that is our episode of Beverly Melro 2.O. For Monday, we're coming back on Thursday, but we got stuff on this feed all week.

Please check out Jen on Twitter and survived and punished as well. Thank you all for being here. Until next time, I have been Stephen Sadek. Andrew Jupin. Eric, Siska. Grace Cabin. Jennifer Carey. Take it easy and remain indoors.

That was a hit-gum-podmed part of the headgum podcast.