We Hate Movies - MELR0210 #17 - 90210 "The 17 Year Itch"

Episode Date: May 18, 2020

We kick off another week of all-new pods as the gang chats about the Beverly Hills, 90210 episode, "The 17 Year Itch," on our first of two MELR0210 episodes! Originally airing November 29th, 1990, this episode features Cindy and Jim having some marriage trouble, Brenda and Brandon taking a weird twin test, David yearning to be the school's new radio DJ, and Steve Sanders washing out hard at another extra-curricular activity! PLUS: ::bad Aaron Spelling impression:: Ya know, maybe Donna shouldn't be more than just a background actor after all... MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this more-than-necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. Hello and welcome to Melro 210, a we hate movies quarantine side show. Still with this. Still with this. It's going. We recommend that you stay indoors and you put on your sunscreen because we're having a little fun here in sunny Beverly Hills because it's Monday. You know, always want to give a little shout out to you. Don't do this enough.

Anyone who's a person that has to be out there in the world working, any kind of employees that are giving us stuff or making this fucking world go delivering shit. doing food delivery, food, anything, anything to do with food or goods and you're not Jeff fucking Bezos. God bless you. And thank you for doing what you do. Yeah, you're doing all that stuff. We're doing Mel Walsh 201. And then, you know, everybody evens out. It all evens out. We're doing the important stuff like telling you about Steve Sanders' failed DJ audition. Oh, I can't wait. Before we get to that, I should introduce all these creepy voices you're hearing joining me. My name is Stephen Sadek, by the way. I'm joined by disembodied Eric Siska.

Hello. We've got ourselves a Chris Cabin. Ah, hi, hoi. And we've also got Andrew Jupin on the line. Yo! There it is. I also, Chris, I knew this is coming. This is an episode, it's kind of funny.

The episode we're talking about, by the way, is the 17-year itch, season one, episode 8 of Beverly Hills 9-0-2-1-O-0. original air date November the 29th, 1990. Post Thanksgiving app, yeah. Yeah, dude. You got full and fucking Cindy is looking to get full, is what I'm saying.

Oh, I was going to make the same joke with stuff. Yeah, stuff was better. Yeah. So Glenn, this is like a cool photographer, new character comes on the show, and he's got the fixings out for Cindy. But Chris Cabin, and I think I might have said this last week, so please stop

me if I'm repeating jokes. But every week my favorite thing is Thursday night you watch these episodes and you go through the roof and I knew it was coming because this is a Jim and Cindy centric episode and they seem to be your least favorite characters I'd be Cindy Walsh is forgivable especially after this episode I see what she's under and what she wants it's good to know

Jim Walsh should be hung yeah by his second until he's dead by his neck until he's like a horse you better fucking check that rope around your ankle Kevin because you are being untethered from the planet. Hey, look, if you want to shoot him in the head, I'm all for that as well.

But I'm saying, just break the guy's neck, and we're all good. We're all good here. Team Chris on this one, because this motherfucker is just like, well, I know it's our anniversary. We could be having sex, but I need to do my fucking taxes.

Oh, but no, never mind. I do want to have sex. Oh, you want to have sex with him. Back to the taxes. I do. But my larger point is, I get it, we get it through our group chat.

The exclusive We Hate Movies Group Texts, by the way. Not even available on patreon.com. Definitely not, dude. Those are four membership slots and they are all. But I will say, I just imagine your wife,

like, it's like, your wife does not watch this with you, right? She does now because she likes watching how much I hate it. Okay, because I was going to say, I would just imagine her in another room, she's a very literate woman reading a nice book. She's got a big glass of red wine

and from the other, like, Mother fucking Jim Walsh! Just explosion noises. Exactly. You're going to fucking hang that guy. You've got to hang him. Hang him. Hang him.

Chris is designing a new type of gallows. Look, honey, I have to have a project while this quarantine's happening. I brought my own guillotine. Look at this. Don't mind my home improvement activities in the backyard. Does your dog have to wear a thunders shirt when you watch a show or what? Yes, I want two of them actually. A thunder and a lightning shirt.

yeah so this is an episode it is like i said jim and cindy centric there are b and c plots but i think the move here is just go straight through because they're so minimal and non whatever absolutely so this is an episode wherein it is Cindy and jim's 17 year anniversary um we start they just came back and i mean like there's two sides of this coin so cindy is like like all upset because they had to they had a shitty dinner you know they had to wait two hours to sit down, you know, she's like, oh, I can see why everyone's so thin here. You can't even get a goshed turd table.

And, like, and Jim is like, well, you know, it's the hottest spot in town. I'm just shocked we got in at all. I'm like, dude, it's your fucking antivore. Here's the thing. I'm a, I'm a reservation man. Anytime it's like, this place rules, you might not get in, but oh, man, if you do, it's like,

no, I want a fucking reservation. You're in your fucking 40s. Get a reservation. Well, hang on a second, though. I don't think that he's mentioning it like that. He's he's saying like it's a hip spot, like we got this table kind of thing. Her complaint is that the noise level was so loud. They couldn't hear each other at dinner. They went to a hip spot because they're trying to revitalize their love life. So they're going to

I imagine a place that's for younger people. Like maybe it was shooters. People are interested to talk to one another. Like that's what they're going to. And they have nothing. They don't want to talk to each. Hey, y'all. It's Sandy a waitress. I hate to mention it. But, y'all can't be in here you're going bald child we don't allow that here at shooters you see that handsome man over there we call him jake half a days he has bye y'all he might be taking your drink later don't worry about that not enough but excuse me sir yeah sorry to bother y'all but unless you're coming in here playing a caveman in a Halloween costume or something and you're really a handsome man underneath that you better get out of here, middle-aged exoskeleton.

Now, you see Jake over there in the corner, do you got a young daughter for him or meet a daughter's friend? One of her little friends. I'm grooming for him. A 19 would be perfect for him, y'all, if you have a 19-year-old. I'm named Sandy Maxwell.

Yes, sorry. You're going to have to shave your hands, child, before you come in here. Dude, there is a lot of James, house exposure in this episode and man it's like fucking burt reynolds down there it's a lot i mean cindy's totally into it so yeah but you know she's you know she it's not just taking fucking fistfuls of that shit normally it is uh it's not uh it wasn't it's not going well for the anniversary and it's weird we don't learn this till the middle of the episode but there is a missing anniversary present

like it's kind of weird like usually that would be something we talk about at the top like where he's like, oh, you know, that got lost in the mail, it'll be here any day now or something like that. Well, I don't think it's actually missing. I think she's saying that motherfucker didn't buy me anything. Cindy, you know, it's sad, but Amazon

oh, sorry, Amazon doesn't exist yet. The male lost my self-confidence. I had a brand new self-confidence coming in that would allow me to have sex with you, but it's gone now. It's lost in the mail, sorry. But it's your anniversary. You had your nice dinner. You probably had a couple of drinks and Jim Walsh just sits down

with these tax returns and he's like, well, honey, the IRS doesn't know it's our anniversary. I'm like, dude, fuck off. You know, it's really shitty and like, he also does the shitty move of like they're getting into bed and she's like, oh, Jim, remember our

first anniversary? We ate dinner in bed and he just, this is like his move to fix it. He's like, yeah, and I'm getting hungry and fucking makes a move and I was like, oh, dude, wrong Yeah, yeah, exactly. Ease into that, dude.

No one wants to be told you're hungry, by the way. Yeah. Oh, Jim, don't you remember when we shared what we really loved in life? Yeah, my dick, aren't you ready for it? What? Also, if you're hungry, go downstairs, my friend. That's a way to start. Yeah, there's some, uh, Anna left some more enchiladas that you fucking hated,

you racist. Oh, no, I meant, I meant cutalinguists. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that downstairs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. well there's also it is their anniversary the least you could do

is his yearly conalingous appearance but Tony was making fun of him what was he supposed to do do it anyway there is a thing that happens in this scene and then it happens again

at the tail end of the episode and you know all television shows do this and I think it's hilarious when they do it here it's great too there's a sad moment so we're playing a sad

slow version of the theme song do do do do do do do do I want this played at Cabin's funeral Yeah Cabin at your funeral Here's what I'm going to do Cabin at your funeral I'm going to take the big portrait of you That they're going to plan to have there

I'm going to take it down I'm going to replace it with a picture of James Eckhouse Playing Jim Walsh James Eckhouse who will outlive us all Is going to be my plus one to your funeral You are all talking like I'm not bringing at least one of you down with me Fair point

I'm going to steal Andrew's bit here just because I watched the theme song today in this episode and you would think because it's it's just funny because it's just not a lot of material to cut in for these like for this theme song especially for like the goings on but can I interrupt you and ask you

something really quickly? Please do because you know you're big on this show you've watched it a lot more because you said you watched you made a point to just say you watched the theme song this time do you skip the intro on like Hulu Oh, no, I have to. I'm not a big theme song, Skipper, unless I'm really in the middle of a binge. I actually hate, I got to hate when Netflix does it automatically.

Yeah, fuck that. Oh, yeah, when you go like into the next episode or whatever, and if the show doesn't have a cold open. Exactly, like, Madman, they'll cut the intro. I'm like, that's what I need. I need that eerie music. Yes, you need that fucking jam. Dude, the other thing I don't appreciate, and it's like, I'm sure it's just like the setup. It's like the policy or whatever, but we're going through Better Call Saul on Netflix now.

And if you haven't watched that show, the thing. the theme song is literally like 10 seconds and so it comes up and it's always it's a cool thing it's like cheap 90s-ish looking bad video and like that's the point and uh I love watching it get a little nostalgia with all the neon colors Netflix gives you the fucking skip option and I'm like dude it's 10 seconds Netflix where do I have to be

it's like three strums of a surf guitar yes it's like bing out bow wow it's over with I'm never going to skip Skip it. Anyway, sorry, Steve. You go through the roof. Come on already. Start the show. I want to watch Bob Boonekirk. He's like going to skip the Simpsons intro when they just do the straight from the chalkboard on this to the couch. Yeah, exactly. By the way, do you know that there's people, their jobs are like making sure the time codes for that so it could happen. So they're like, these people are like complicit in a fucking terrorist scheme as far as I'm right. Damn straight, dude. They're an essential employee that I don't respond.

my one thing was just because there's so much footage from the basketball episode you would think watching this first season oh it's a basketball show like every you got Steve Sanders coming in you got Jason Priestley throwing the basketball around like it's just a lot of basketball you know they wanted sporty kids to watch it you know that's true we originally pitched a show as a basketball teen show called Hoopers I you know it went to the cracks. I'm sorry about that. But we got Beverly Hills and I don't do a no out of it. Come on. They could have done that, dude. What was that the TGIF show where it was about what was it called Phenom, Steve? Phenom was a tennis star. Yes. Yeah, yeah. What the fuck is that? It was a show where like

a little, I don't know if she was a little girl. Named or Tijuana. I'm sorry. Named phenon. The show was called Fiener. Why? Because she was a tennis phenom. Is that a word? Yeah, you never heard Fenom? No. Instead of a phenomenon. Phenom. That's a thing.

Trust me, it's a thing. All right. Ask James Zaccouse about it. So anyways, we go to school. We find out the DJ, our beloved DJ, whose name I can't bother to learn. I think it's like DJ Mac or something. I was trying to listen this time.

He's like, yo, yo, yo, I'm getting fired. I'll talk to you all later. DJ Mike MC. Oh, DJ Mike. Okay. Yes. What I see? DJ.

And it's also like, I don't know, it still feels like pretty early in the school year. What happened? What went down here? I think it's a thing. Yeah, total scandal, dude. Oh, maybe, you know what it was? We didn't see it, but there was a little side plot in one episode where DJ Mike definitely was using profanity on the air.

And the FCC fucking came down hard on West Beverly High. He brought Jim Walsh to go on the keyboard to do a little jam. And they were like, get the fuck out of here. Both of you fuck off. DJ Mike actually got sued. He used a sample from the Tom Tom. Tom Club in his opening and it really, really, it came

down on the school hard. Yeah, that's a bummer. Tom Tom Club would not let up. Dina Weymouth was like, we're going to get that fucking high school DJ and we're going to get him good. She now owns one third of West Beverly High.

That DJ Mike is buried underneath my house and he'll stay there. So we hear this and it's like, and David is like, oh, Scott, this is my chance to to be uh and it's this weird like again like this creepy early david silver thing is like everyone will have to listen to me then he's really obsessed with like i mean just like i guess any kid but like you really this is the only thing you know about david is like he just needs to feed

off of attention much like superman gets his powers from the sun uh and meanwhile miss rye shows up, mostly sober, and asks Brandon and Brenda to be in a twin study. And like, I don't know what happened in Minneapolis, but Brandon's like, no one's going to fucking prod me again. I'm like, what happened? Yeah, I don't know, dude. I think like that dude was originally supposed to be much taller. And then like science experiments happened. And he remembers all about it. Like he was like, they were seven. They did some twin study that was about like, What happens if you give one twin a bunch of coffee when they're like a little kid? It was some like Stranger Things Laboratory.

It was originally known as Project B. Weapon B. I just lost my telepathic abilities last year and I don't want them back. Bren. Do you remember the last time we had to escape from a lab like that, Bren? Come on, Bryn. Come on, Bryn. Come on, Burn. You can't give me a sunny day?

you control the weather. Why don't you just give me a sunny fucking day in Beverly? That's to be a rainy day. Fuck, man. This is why they moved. They're fleeing government agents. Absolutely.

The Soviets. Man, I hate it being part of that fucking Akira Project, Bryn. Dos Vodanya, Bryn and Brandon. Important thing to note, by the way, with David Silver's dreams of being on the air, Scott, of course, is like, I think that's a,

great idea. And then Steve Sanders, quick to rain on anybody's parade, he's like, hey, little kid, you're not going to be the DJ, because guess what? I'm putting my fucking clan propaganda on that radar. Yeah. Steve Sanders in the morning, sign me out. Totally, dude. This is really highlighting it for me

that this show is really more realistic. Like, Scott, the nice guy who has been hurt and nobody, he shoots himself in the face in a little bit. And the racist, Steve Sanders, is still the king of the fucking high school. Yep. You know, the good people die. That's what the fucking message is, everybody.

And you know, when we started this side show, Steve asked me how I felt about Steve Sanders as blonde representation. And I said it was fine. I take it all back. Especially with this fucking one line is like, I'm the guy with the golden hair and the silver tongue. Like, no, dude. No.

Dude, yeah, just Steve Sanders in the morning. The Democrats, yet again, playing their games. I'm the one with the golden hair, the silver tongue, the blue eyes, and the white skin. Oh, sorry, I wasn't supposed to say that last part. Oh, boy. Anybody notice how many blacks are at the school these days? Take your calls all morning. Now that Steve Sanders in the morning is taking over the West Beverly High radio station, I'm just going to say we will not be reporting the score of the basketball games anymore.

Basketball is completely out now. as far as we're concerned. There's a caravan. It's coming in. It's bringing some athletes from other districts. Honk, honk, honk, toilet flush. Exactly. You know, Scott should definitely be the guy on the sound effects. No matter who gets this.

Oh, absolutely. Did he get Scott on a little slide whistle? He would totally excel and maybe not later shoot himself in the face. So that's that little thing. So we're setting that up. We also, we cut in on Cindy at some sort of a far, at a plant nursery, possibly the one from Melrose Place only three days ago. Oh, fuck, yeah. Look out for what's his name?

Yeah, shared cinematic universe, obviously, as we know. But it's, she's getting, some dude is just, it's her and Anna and her, which, who she refers to as her assistant, which is nice, I guess. I guess so. Yeah, I mean, I don't really know how you do that. because she's clearly not friends with her I mean it's good to like put it on her resume for what she obviously will eventually leave this house of horrors that's a Walsh I have to say

I'm genuinely surprised to see this character returns to you I was I thought that was one and done ditto um so that she's getting we see the camera her through a camera's eye and like what the fuck is happening maybe it's the fucking Soviets they found him I thought it was a greenery nursery send car i thought it was like a

like jim walsh because like they're having problems already in the beginning of the episode obviously thought it was jim waltz sending a p i after that's where i was too i was like oh that motherfucker yeah trouble in paradise indeed shit it would be cool if this place there are like a garden center it'd be great if it was uh tied in with melrose place and that dude paul was his name all is the dude yeah it'd be cool if he was helping them out just yeah just creeping

everybody out wanting to I want to date your daughter I want to date your daughter honestly Paul could have been the one taking pictures yeah exactly but no it's this guy named Glenn

who happened to have gone to cut hot ass Glenn over here he's smooth he's a tall drink of water too man oh yes dude no water shortage in fucking LA County that day

he just goes Cindy Walsh. And you know, I was taking pictures of you and I didn't even know it was you. And it's just like, what the fuck were you doing? Well, as he explains, a buddy of his owns the nursery

and asked him to like take photos for a new catalog or whatever. Yeah. My buddy works in the in the place shop and he asked me to come in and replace some cameras in the toilets. Yeah. I'm Glenn. I run a

voyeur website. Not really strictly legal there's a guy at this very at this very flower shop who loves it his name's Paul he's really into it

for some reason my business partner no they're old college buds they know each other Cindy is instantly like holy fuck Glenn Glenn grew up right

she says and you know Anna is immediately uncomfortable I'm like oh no oh I don't I don't want to have to tell Mr. Walsh about this. Yeah, but she does mention that she's been clipping out his natural geographic photos.

So, like, she's been pining over this guy, kind of in the back of her head for years. And he kind of acts like that's like a sexual fetish. He's like, oh, I didn't know you were a Nat Geo or, hmm. Oh, man. Nat, my Gio. And he lives in L.A. now because he's had all of his adventures. is just trying to settle down a bit. Plant some roots in this crazy world, you know?

Just trying to settle down, man. You know what? Like, he's realizing, you know, he's got way less sunsets ahead of him as opposed to behind him, you know, wants to get his life straight. Got one foot in the casket. And one in the bedroom. So, Cindy's like, well, you've got to come over my house and see Jim. You like Jim.

And he's like, yeah. Jim Oh, Jim. Oh, yeah, Jim Palletto. I did baseball with him. No, no, no, Jim Walsh. Jim Waltz? I think I had him in math class, maybe.

I don't know. Who's this gym? I don't know who this gym is. Who's this Jim? No, he knows all about her. It goes both ways, Eric, because he read about her twins in the alumni magazine.

That's weird as fun. And that is super weird. Because, I mean, this is 16 years later or whatever the fucking. is. Like, you just remember that they had twins? Yeah. In the alumni magazine had said twins flee science experiments, Soviets in

pursuit. Seven dead. Missing family, question, right? Adult teen, known as Mr. Sinister to his friends. So, Jim, I'm sorry, Glenn does show up for dinner. We sort of see everybody afterwards hanging on every one of Glenn's

words all sitting around the fire. in the family room there well most people are hanging on the lens everywhere man Jim Walsh not having it he's I mean clearly you your wife comes up you've been having problems she brings in this fucking hunk it's like oh look who I look who's coming for dinner it's like oh yeah I'll be coming for dinner all right not only a hunk a hunk she used to fuck yeah exactly we find out that they they all worked at the school paper together including Jim he had a bit have a writing bug like that's where brandon gets it i guess uh and um you know jim did jim introduced jim was dating or glen was dating cindy and introduced her to jim biggest mistake of my life

he says in front of everyone yeah wow dude uncomfortable this is like a 100% douche chill conversation i cannot imagine being in the room while this is going down anyway your mother She went on to marry some loser. Oh, Jim, you're here. Oh, I. Sorry. You're here, buddy. I keep forgetting that that was you, Jim. Just a piece of shit, did nothing, didn't care about her. Said he never wanted kids.

I mean, it's really, oh, Jim, hi. How are you? Total limp dick. Oh, Jim. So, Jim excuses himself because he's, oh, he also says he was like, yeah, Jim was quite a writer in his day until he sold out became a fucking soulless little student. Couldn't imagine you ever crunch of the numbers, Jim Boy, and it's like, yeah, well, someone's got to pay for this insane house. There's a thing about like, it happens throughout this episode, this notion of like anyone who wants to go into accounting obviously wanted to do something else before that.

Yeah, exactly. And I got to say, I kind of understand that. It's accurate. I think that's very accurate. There is a quick scene with when he's explaining, like they're talking about it's Jim and like, some other guy that works at this accounting firm. Bob, is this the boss? Or what is this guy? Yeah, I don't know. Well, Jim was saying, like, oh, you know, I was bit into poetry. And then this dude's like, well, why don't we find the fucking poetry in these numbers?

Yeah, totally. Once you get back to fucking work. I wanted to be a baseball player when I was a kid. That fucking died at 12. And then I decided I wanted to be an accountant. Look, Jim, I'm a talking living tumor. Okay. That's what my life is.

A living tumor. You're going to talk to me about poetry. How about this poetry? Do you fucking work? In fact, Jim, I'm a, I'm an hallucination. You know, Bob, I think my wife might be having an affair. Yeah, why don't you have an affair with that fucking spreadsheet, pal? Got your work buttercup.

Why don't you fucking step out with that work there, William Carlos Williams? Please don't talk to seven-divorce Bob over here. Yeah, he does not care. Yeah, so Jim excuses himself. Brandon and Brenda excuse themselves. This is when Brenda needs to mind her own fucking business. And they're walking up the stairs, the palatial

Walsh stairs. And Brandon's like, wow, man. And it's kind of like, I hope Jim Walsh didn't hear this, which is you know, I think Glenn's like the first adult I ever met whose life I actually wanted. It's just like, ouch. Yeah, I mean, yes, that would be

hard for Jim Walsh to hear. However, I think after the initial sting of overhearing that wore off, you take a look and be like, yeah, I get it. Yeah. Oh, he knows. And then she's like, I don't know. I don't like the way that Glenn looks at our mother. Well, if you don't like it so much, Brenda,

why don't you stay down there and continue hanging out instead of leaving your mother, her ex-boyfriend, and a roaring fire downstairs. I can't believe it, man. A roaring fire in Los Angeles. Well, yeah. And it's not outside. Whoa. But just like, listen, man, if everyone's going,

to bed, like, that dude's got to go home. Exactly. Or you could be Glenn and say, fuck you, I'm staying. Exactly. Everybody listens to you. This is that big dick energy that Glenn has, because, like, James Eckhouse, Jim Walsh, wakes up in the middle of the night and was like, wait, my wife's not here, goes down the stairs

and they're still drinking in front of the fire at all hours of the night. Dude, and he fucking goes, they're like, I don't know that they're drunk or like falling asleep or what it is, but he's like, he's not even looking at her because like his eyes are closed he's like leaning back like slouching on the couch and he's like

I'm going to show you my L.A. You're going to fall in love with it. Is this finger play happening? Oh definitely. I mean like you got to put on a movie for some pretext or something. You know what I mean? Why would he? He's getting away with it plain and simple. Fucking Jim Walsh was like

he got made fun of, said he's a loser from this Glenn guy and it's just like yeah I'm going to don't do the taxes now. I hope you have a good night. Glenn, when you come into my wife, could you just do it gently, please? Please, could you just be gentle

about it? Just can you clean up some of the dripping come when you're done. Oh my God, come on. Come on! That's the world he's limited. I'm sorry. I think, you know what, Kevin, I think that's the world you're limited. Come on is what Glenn did. Yes. We saw this

Andrew. The episode is called the 17-year itch, We saw this coming. It's a sexy episode. I mean, it's a highly sexy episode. But the way I'm hearing it, and it's like,

you looked at the episode title, and it was called 90210, no, episode nine, the cum drippers. All right. No, that's it's season four. I want to address this.

I mean, we did get some complaints about the usage of that word on this show, and from henceforth, I will refrain from it. I'll keep saying, come. Big surprise.

Did someone seriously complain about us saying, come? I think it was. some social media posts somewhere. We're watching. We're out there. We're watching you guys. You better fucking watch it. You know what?

One day, you make a wrong comment one day. Dosfodanya comment. The Soviets are going to get us? I'm tripling the cum numbers. After hearing this, I can't be. We'll send the Soviets after them. Soviets have nothing to do it anymore. There's no country.

The next day, it is a sexy afternoon date where he's showing her his LA. And again, like, I mean, this is when I start to feel bad for Sydney. She's like, wow, Los Angeles. She's like, I never knew a convertible could be fun. Oh my God, Glenn. Because Jim Walsh has been doing his taxes the whole time. He hasn't been going out.

And you can say it's hard work and all this bullshit, but it's not. It seems like a paperwork. Is this the first time we've seen Cindy in a location that wasn't the house or the front yard? She went to the fashion show last one. Oh, that's fair. And the hospital that one time But yes, it's not She's never like on

I don't know why that was funny She did It is funny The hospital which is in the opening credits Which I think about that Dumb scene every time Because in that episode she was like My kids are heroes

And she's just like Wow Los Angeles Maybe I'll have a taco today I keep hearing about these tacos And, like, they're around, like, the Venice Beach, like, boardwalk area or whatever. And he's like, you see, Cindy, there's all these people in Los Angeles doing all sorts of creative things. And it's, like, person drawing on the sidewalk, someone maybe sketching a caricature, a homeless man whipping his dick out and pissing on the sidewalk. Cindy, I can't wait for you to see it.

Yes, that is the Hollywood sign. This is my L.A. My L.A. Wow, you owed the Hollywood sign. Chi whiz, Glenn. Well, Cindy, here's another part of my secret L.A. tour. If you look over there to your right, it's Grauman's Chinese theater. You know, the celebrities would put their hands inside the cement and then sign it.

Humphrey Bogart had small feet. There's a bunch of them. It's a bunch of them. You just walk down the street. Yeah, I own all this. This is my L.A. We wind up back at Glenn's studio, right? That's how this goes.

Oh, also, by the way, we should say very pointedly that Brenda and Brandon decide. But the weirdest line, Glenn says at this awkward fireside chat before everybody else goes to bed, it's like, twins, double the pleasure. Hey, anyway, I'd like to take your photograph sometime. Oh, nope, nope, nope, you can't say that. You can't say that? And then offer to, like, can I get you, oh, your kids are double the pleasure? Can I have them for a while in my fucking photo studio?

Yeah, because here's the thing, Glenn. Like, I get you, Glenn. You're trying to make a joke about double mint gum. That's fine. But you know what, Glenn? This isn't a double mint gum commercial. No one in this house even has gum right now, dude. So you're just making a weird twin incest joke.

He also refers to Brandon Brandon as ying and yang. He's a worldly man, Eric. He is. He's a couple of decades after Roger and Mad Men. So he should have different talk. like he shouldn't be talking like this is what I'm saying his his language should have evolved then this is where Glenn's game gets really fucking tight because he's just they're at there in Glenn's studio he's like yeah oh god that's when I was in Tiananmen Square that's uh when I

broke the Berlin Wall situation here's uh also me covering Super Bowl 23 that's that's that's from the fireside chat that because Brandon is like oh my God I could be somebody right Yeah, Brandon has that line of like, he's actually someone that I could imagine wanting to grow up to be. And he's just showing there off all this cool stuff.

And then he's like, this is my new series. I call it Cindy. I call it Cindy. With an S. This convo, though, I think when he shows her those photos of Cindy later, this is like, she's looking at another photo and she says like, oh,

this one's a bit different though. It seems a bit staged and artificial. And he's like, you know, oh, you know, that's what I always appreciated about you. You know, you were always, you know, telling me what you were thinking or something like that. And then this is dude Cindy takes a step further here and goes, so tell me what you're thinking. And this dude, Glenn, does not miss a fucking beat, man. He just goes, you and Jim are like night and day. Just immediately.

I think your husband's terrible and your relationship with him is poison. I mean, I don't know. You notice how much more hair I have than your husband? husband. Just throwing that out there. I have like four houses in different parts of the whole world. So yeah, there's that.

So she's taken by him and this is when he invites her to go to his new gala opening or whatever the fuck bullshit's going on. Meanwhile Brenda and Brandon go to this twin study. We get the creepy twins there.

It's on a college campus. Yeah, these kids creep me the fuck out. I was saying, I really hope that the director of this episode spoke to these two twins, you know, before we started rolling. And they were just like, you know, can you like be really creepy? Like I sincerely hope that these guys were acting right here. And this just wasn't like creepy twin stuff. It's fucking terrifying.

Well, they've got red hair, red curly hair too. It's not a great look. Yeah, you remember the station twins from Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey? more than that. We want more than that. Go up from there. But this actually gets into like Stranger Things-esque territory where they do ESP-like tests

on both Brandon, Brandon, and these two Erie twins. I don't know, like a couple of wavy lines. They're just getting electrocuted. Brenda's gum falls out of her mouth. It should say for

real 902 and O'Heds, revisiting the series. I know where you're going with this. And I saw this a mile away. This is the actress Denise Dow is playing Professor, whatever her name is, Professor Harriet Strathmore, actually winds up coming back on the show as a different character, the principal

of West Beverly High for 23 more episodes. It's a respawning. That's what we've been saying on Hooked on T.J. Hooker. It's definitely do the respawning. That is an old TV thing because, again, like, you don't expect these episodes to come back. The indication is barely, whatever. You don't even know if the show's going to continue.

Exactly. Also, this woman played, it's not a huge role in the movie, but she's also Marlon Wayne's mother in fucking Requiemper Dream. Yeah, she pops up in a lot of stuff. She's good. I like her. I think she was in Ray. Yeah.

I think they saw in this episode that she will talk down to Brendan and like really gives them the shit. I think that's why she got the gig with the, and yeah, and they're like, they get competitive with the creepy twins and Brandon's like, oh, no, we're fucking. losing or whatever and like but brenda keeps bringing up like i don't know about this glen situation we go to the art gallery well actually we first go to the school and we're talking about it she invites kelly or whatever and she starts asking kelly all these awkward questions about like

what is it like when your parents get divorced what's it like to have an alcoholic mother yeah dude it's like i'm coming to you for all these questions kelly because your mother's a fucking train wreck let me just remind you really quick about the fashion show last week there's one bit of on location shooting here I wanted to point out because it was interesting. Glenn gives the invite to the art show while they're like on a walk around those like canals in L.A. I don't know what the name of them is

but there's a footbridge that they're on in this scene and he's doing like you know, do you ever play What If and this, that and the other thing? That footbridge, did you guys recognize it by any chance? I'm sure it's in a ton of stuff but I recognized it immediately from the first Nightmare and Elm Street movie there's a scene where Heather Langenkamp and Johnny Depp are like talking

about what's going on with her and it's earlier in the movie so they don't know about Freddie and shit just yet I don't think but the two of them have that conversation like on that exact footbridge. Wait hold on that doesn't make any sense that movie takes place in Ohio. They shot that movie in Ohio right Andrew? Steve we'll talk about this after the show

they rented Hollywood from Glenn that day no broken hearts on the pod today. So they go to this fashion show. Kelly is wearing art art gallery. Art gallery. A fucking insane outfit. It's like gold chains over a black

dress. Again, designed by Frank Miller himself. It's just like a nightmare situation. And like there is, there's plenty of Donna in this episode and there shouldn't be. Yeah. In the advice scene when she's asking Kelly all about shit,

Donna is also there with Brandon. They're sort of like walking in the hallway because this is where you also have David is like there's a quick cutaway to David like showing Scott like hey Scott I think this is a little something like this is how my audition is going to go

and he's like freestyling in the hallway and all the kids in the hallway start booing him immediately except for the one black kid who starts dancing in the middle he's like oh that kid's rapid time to dance yeah dude what are we doing look guys

I know Tori is in charm I know that nobody is really drawn in by her but here's the idea here fellas what if you embarrassed her terribly in every scene she's in I think that would really be good for Don and Tori as well yeah and she's back at the art gallery

opening she has nothing to do she's just sucking air out of the room it's insane that like and like you know we have been complaining or maybe just me about like the lack of the tertiary characters getting their own shit just yet. I understand it's early going to the show and whatnot. But Donna specifically, dude, it's like, she is

just a glorified extra. She is. There's one scene where they're walking down, they're talking about all the events of the episode. She doesn't say a word and, like, Tori Spelling is not, like, reacting properly. You know what I mean? It's just sort of like, staring, literally staring into space. Because it's one of those, like, I'm a bad actor that only speaks when I know I have a line coming up. And I don't, like, embody the scene and live in it. So I'm not reacting

to other characters. And every line is like a gust of wind. It just like passes through you. Like you're going through this space and looking at the art and then like

they stop at one and fucking Donna it's just like can you believe it you could be up there one day. You can be up there doing the art thing. Yeah anyway.

So Donna, could you not be here? Thank you. Hey, Brenda, did that tumbleweed just say something? Kelly, by the way, wants to fuck Glenn in a big bad way.

She's like, so does Brenda. Yeah, well, she even, Brenda even says the creepiest lie of the episode's like, I wish she'd flirt with me and not my mom. Yeah, exactly. Eap. Wow, like Glenn had, you know, the older lady, now we can get her,

her daughter, maybe, potentially. And I have to say, it fucking totally tracks, guys, because remember a few weeks ago when Brenda totally had the hots for the fucking teacher when she took the babysitting gig. And she also, in the first episode, she was after that fucking 40-year-old guy, who telling us she was in the fraternity or whatever.

Oh, right. Yeah, I forgot about that guy too. Right. And like her friend Kelly bangs Jake who's like 48 years old. Well, Glenn is like the Grey Fox Jedi. Whereas Roger from Mad Men is the Grey Fox Sith. Yeah, that's true. Glenn is like going after age-appropriate women just wants a nice life, just wants to break up one marriage.

Not too much. Doesn't want to scathe an entire childhood or anything like that. Just wants to break up one marriage. There is, and you're totally right on the age-appropriate thing, Chris, because in this scene, you get to see, like, all of his, like, conquests come. Like, oh, hey, Glenn, how's it going? Glenn haven't seen you in a while. Like, and it's very implied that he's fucked them all.

The rooster has sex with all of them. Oh, man, that reminds me. Steve, you are, you're saying a line from Seinfeld that is a character reacting to something Frank Kistanzas said. And by the way, Just RIP Jerry Stiller, man. We haven't had a chance to say it on the air yet. Fucking total legend,

you will be missed. You cannot watch the, anything he does on that show and not laugh. You literally laugh out loud. Yep. I really do love when that, just the woman coming up and he's like, you're going to blow it.

Yes, totally. Get out of here, Kimberly. I've done you already. Goodbye. Because she's like, oh, hey, Glenn. He's like, shut the fuck up. Oh, hey, Cindy. You want to get some fresh smog

outside? You know, that's a joke that only I've made about Los Angeles. I invented, you know, I also coined the term a part in my French. No, excuse me, that was me, Larry Cohen. I created that and I have

been making a mint off it for decades. There's a thing in the art gallery scene here where it's like Brenda, Kelly, Donna, Brandon. They're all like talking about one of the paintings or photographs or whatever and they're talking about

what they see in it the other thing. Did I get this wrong here? When Brandon at one point is like saying what he thinks about the photograph is he doing also a Marlon Brando impression? Yes and it doesn't make any sense. Yeah, okay. I was like, what the fuck is this guy talking about?

Why is he doing a Marlon Brando impression right now? And a poor one at that. Well, that goes without saying. They go outside. They're having more emotional conversations and they just start making out, man. I'm ready to settle down, Cindy, but I'm not ready to settle.

Yeah. La La La La La La La La La La La La La And Brenda Like a fucking narque freaks out Completely. Well, she doesn't see the kiss. It's not like at the codfish ball speaking of Madman when Sally sees

Julia Ormond give Roger a blowjob in that one scene. Oh my God. I haven't thought about that in a long time. Was that the same party that he's like wearing blackface in? No, that's a different party. I believe it's Julia Ormond. It is Julia Ormond.

Steve, I do not believe Julia Pinotia was on meth. Yeah, that's, like I said, Sith Lord Roger. That's right. It's Julia Ormond, but she does a French accent, so that even confuses it even more.

Anyways, so they make out, and Cindy goes home. And I needed to find this out because, like, it's Brendan Kelly. They're downstairs in the kitchen. As always, they love this fucking kitchen. Just hang it out in this fucking kitchen. Loving the kitchen, dude.

So she's just like, I don't know. I'm not ready for my parents to get divorced. And she's like, Kelly, what's it like? It's fucking terrible. What do you want me to say? What's it like being a divorced kid? Imagine a lot more trips to circus liquor. They at least don't do the standard response to something like that in pop culture, which is the, uh...

Two Christmas? Yes, the kneejerk reaction of multiple holidays. Yeah. Well, you get two Christmases now. He had. they but also meanwhile Cindy Walsh because she's making Brendan Brenda doesn't see them make out but she like could tell her mom's mood

is very weird she comes home and starts playing the stereo and Brenda's like she never listens to music like this. FYI it's just whatever standard bullshit Hulu package it is but I looked it up and it's fucking Chris a Chris Isaac song

dude was originally there yes yeah exactly that's what she's exactly and then Jim Walsh comes home and just is like, huh, stereo is on and just turns it off, if you come home and your wife has just gone to an art gallery opening with her fucking hunky best friend,

and then she comes home to listen to Chris fucking Isaac, we need to have a conversation. Tax time! It's time for taxi! Also, if that's the scenario, by the way, and in all scenarios, okay, major pet peeve of mine, you come home, someone's got music on,

don't you dare fucking turn it off? What's the matter with you? You can maybe turn it down if you have something important to say. You're not seeing the five-dimensional chess here. Glenn clearly put the tape of Chris Isaac in that player waiting for this very situation to happen to show that fucking gym up. Hey, Cindy, this is a young new artist. I kind of discovered, actually.

I photographed his album. I want to say also, Steve, thank you for bringing up looking into what the music was here. Any idea what it was at the front? Because I got to tell you this time around I was like there's a lot of song here. It's not just an instrumental situation.

There's lyrics. It's like a full band. I'm going to shazam this and find out just who it is they got to replace the song. And I fucking shazammed it and let me tell you something guys, it came up with a huge question mark. This is fake music that

doesn't exist and it's driving me crazy. It's pop this pop punk package that Hulu bought I guess. It's just like it's like all like it's all way out of place like you can't get 90s style music in here. That's the that's the biggest thing that drives me crazy

about it is it's all anachronistic music and it's killing. It's all some 41 demos. All of them are some 41 demos. Like someone say did someone say 41? Did someone say 41? I'm

a Jim Walsh accountant. Some 41. Yeah, that's the bottom line. Yeah, that's what I do some 41 when I'm doing my Excel spreadsheets. And you know what? You know what? When your wife turns on wicked game, when you come home, the best thing to do, fellas, get your face in some spreadsheets.

Well, that's the thing. If you come home, one is the lonelst number. You come home, she's playing Chris Isaac, and she doesn't want to fuck. You're a huge trouble. Like if, you know, that could be like, ooh, nice, nice after, nice evening. Maybe there's a bottle of wine in my future. No, oh, okay. I'm in trouble. And I love, dude, he fucking turns off this music. And then she comes at, this was a nice little development as far as the, the 90210 set here, uh, because Cindy is out on some like widows walk, like big balcony thing they have

off their bedroom. That's a nice house, man. Not too bad, man. It was pretty cool. Remember this the next time Brandon cries fucking poverty, please. Yep, absolutely. And so she comes in. They have like a little bit of discussion. Jim Walsh is in the bathroom right here. And then James Eckhouse like comes out from around the corner and he's like pulling up pajama pants. So you have like Jim Walsh with his pajama shirt wide open.

That fucking Burt Reynolds rug is all over that guy's front side. And then you also get a little tease about just some James Eckhouse in this boxer shorts. Pulling up these pants. Dude, he's wearing pajama pants like it's the 1940s. There is one look specifically that caught my eyes. he has an open robe much like what's his name fuck from Boogie Knights

Bert Reynolds? No no no the Coke Coke dealer Alfred Molina he has that look but he's getting ready to do taxes It's also we should say Jim was supposed to go to the art gallery opening and he calls and he's got this old style bag of Doritos

and he's like Yeah and she's like you're not coming I was like, how'd you guess buy taxes? Oh, you heard the Doritos smacking in the background, did you? I got to count all these Doritos by the end of the night. It's part of the number thing

I do at the office. And the only way I can count Doritos successfully without making a mistake is eating them one at a time. And let me tell you, honey, when I get back from this, I'm going to come up behind you, wrap my arms around you, and tell you what our quarterly tax payment

is. For For quarter three. Oh, Jim. I'm going to be getting Dorito dust all over your shoulders. Oh, man, Dorito kisses. Wasn't that that song that guy wrote for his dead daughter? That's Butterfly kisses. Oh, butterfly kisses, of course.

At the very end of the episode, not to get too ahead of ourselves, they do go, like, they're going to go away for a romantic weekend, and I imagine that's at Cool Ranch. Pack your bags, honey. I got all the Doritos in the car already. We're going to have a romantic weekend at Cool Ranch. Honey, this is the place where it was invented. How many takes her to a Doritos factory?

Would you like to see our flavor dust silos? They're right over here. Would I? Could you flavor dust a cow or anything else? Barbecue it? Could you flavor dust my wife just for tonight? Yeah, yes, we can, sir. They want the newlywed package

Going to flavor dust his wife There's erotic sweets in the Doritos factory It is a factory obviously they're making Doritos there but there are off the side of it A couple of erotic sweets Dude get this Fucking edible panties that are made out of Doritos Oh

Flaming hot We're all out of the Taco Bell Flavored panties I repeat, we are out of the Taco Bell-flavored panties. We're turning the car around. Sweet chili condoms. You would have a fucking flamen hot yeast infection, man. Worth it, though.

So, Annie's way, they, you know, this kind of continues. Cindy's like, you know, she kind of just goes to bed really huff and puff. Brenda and Brandon get the idea. Brandon finally goes over to Cindy's side. the professor kind of gives them some psychological evaluation it blows up that everyone's I don't want to get away from him

I'm sorry to interrupt you but I mean I I was physically uncomfortable watching a lot of this episode because it is just so filled with awkward moments including one that happens right before we go back to the college professor which is Brendan Brandon getting ready to leave to go back to the college

campus in the morning and Cindy overhearing her two children talk about how her and her husband don't fuck each other anymore. Oh my God. They've been going through three nights now of hearing the Hattachi at full volume and full power. So they know what's going on.

They find. They can deal with it. What an excellent time appropriate reference, Chris. Oh, God. Yeah. But like, so they get this whatever, the psychological evaluation it blows up

so Brandon and Brenda decide to cook them dinner like their little little kids they're trying to like parent trap them kind of a thing definitely trying to parent trap them over dinner after Brandon says to his own sister all mom and dad need is a little time together

and a lot of sex they're going to fuck their problems away Brad and one point when Glenn like visits the house again like Brandon's like I can't believe it the guys here pulling a nooner. A dude

and nooner. I know. And then Brent does like a nooner and he's like let me tell you, Bren, it doesn't involve food. Well, maybe it does. I don't know. Yeah, it's a good question. I love in this scene. I brought a Dorito bikini.

I love in this scene though. Is it this scene when there's some scene around here where Glenn is calling and leaving multiple messages as if he's directly calling an answering machine that only Cindy will listen to.

Yeah. It's just like, oh, hey, it's Glenn. I've called four times. Cindy, this is your personal answering machine, is it not? You don't live with a loser named Jim. Oh, Jim. Oh, hi, Jim. Oh, yeah, you're listening to this too. Oh, hi. Oh, Cindy, I really want to have sex with you again, like, in

high school. Anyway, send my best to Jim as well. Hey, hey, Cindy. Are you all wet? Are you all fucking wet? My love to Brandon and Brenda, looking forward to that shoot tomorrow. I want to fuck you so bad. Okay, I talk to you soon. I can't get the smell of you off of me for days.

And remind me to call with a recipe at some point. Jim, when he said that I was wet, he just meant if I was in the pool. I do love this. This is when Cindy needs to fucking call this guy and be like, listen, I have a wife. I have a husband and a family here. You can't be fucking around on my answering. machine. I will fuck you. I'll go to a motel. We have to fucking do this smart.

Wait, wait, wait. She has a wife and a husband and she needs this guy too. I messed up, Chris. So, whatever. That's kind of that. This dinner seems a fucking disaster. They kind of really start laying it out and thick. And Jim Walsh is just like, well, we haven't fucked in like two weeks or whatever

the number is. And she's like, yeah, because you just come home and you want to fucking pound me after you do taxes and don't even talk to me. And he's like, ha, ha. it is dude it's the it's the fucking worst turn this dude can make and I know earlier in the episode I was like chastising cabin a little bit and while I don't think that Jim Walsh needs to be put to death I do think that there's a lot of missteps along the way including this where he's at this awkward dinner table and the kids are like spying on them from the kitchen and he just goes

I have a vague memory about what sex is like like come on dude Hey, I'm all about compromise. Compromise time. We cut his tongue out. Can't talk no more. Shut his fucking mouth. Sounds good to me. Don't got to kill the guy. He's fucking now. Oh, poor Rieke. That's about where I stopped watching that show is when Rieke gets his fucking

dick cut off. You know what? You were probably the right. That was the right decision. Dude, I watched, I got one of those. It was like an alert of a tweet I did last year on the, it was like right around this time on the Game of Thrones finale and I was all upset and I'm like man what a fucking simpler time. Yeah.

I would kill to be disappointed by that show yet again. Totally dude. I will say the volley that Cindy has here is pretty great because Jim after he has that horrible fucking passive aggressive line about remembering what sex is vaguely

there's another exchange and he's like well you know Cindy have just been working so hard and blah and she fucking puts that to his stop immediately and goes, stop hiding behind your damn work. And it's like, that's right, dude. Yep, 100%. Knock that shit off. Well, he says, like, I'm in over

my head here. I'm like, you're not in with the cartel. It's accounting. You don't understand. I've been embezzling for years. How do you think we could afford this palace? I could see him, James, Jack, Jim Walsh could definitely be the counselor in the counselor. And it just fun, like, it falls

all in on one day and he's just fucking gone. I'm either making a movie about. You just want that fucking decapitation machine to go on Jim Walsh's head. That movie has a decapitation's machine? It's a machine. I got to see this movie. It's something. That movie's

a wild ride. It's worth it. Cindy, are you having sex with a car? It's a convertible. So, that's the Cindy with Glenn. That's not the Cindy with Jim. True. So whatever. Jim Walsh has another

mountain of work to do when he fucking leaves the table in a huff man. And then she winds up driving to Glens and she like pretty much puts an end to it. She like, you know, she gets conflicted but she's like, I can't do this. This is crazy. What are we doing here? Yada yada yada. Oh no, this is

when she says we got carried away. Yeah. This is where he gives her all. These are the photos that he took of her and she's all like, you know, wow, you like did something like with me in mind like you created a thing while thinking about me, I have no idea

what that's like... He says a line that me and my wife quote all the time, which is, we are having a mental affair, which is just as dangerous as a real one. Which is like, no, it's not. Not at all. Not even a little bit. He also

has a line right here. I think it's him that says that because they get like, they're like touching foreheads kind of a thing. Yeah, totally. He's really moving in. And he goes, we've wanted to do this forever. Yeah. It's like, let's just fuck.

Let's just fuck. Oh, Daddy wants to fuck. Glenn, listen, listen. Life is not about joy and making connections with people. It's about dying inside and not feeling anything because you married a loser and have shitty kids. That's what life's about. Not about just going off and having fun with Glenn, the photographer. Yeah.

No, it's about taxes. The bigger thing means the taxes. So she storms out and he's like, oh. and this is when Brenda Brenda and Brandon drive up and see her run away and they assume that they fucked

and because they're like doing this photo shoot that day it's like Cindy look at their fucking calendar do not be going over this guy's house when they're going to go there for the fucking stupid photo shoot

yeah but in her defense though dude like she is going there to like write the ship she knows that she's not like really doing anything wrong sure so she doesn't feel the need to like really sneak around about it I think is the idea there but she does run out of

the fucking studio because after that line of like we wanted to do this forever there's like some other exchange and then she just goes no I just can't handle this and I was like you just couldn't handle delivering that line the next

day is the culmination of the DJ tryouts oh my God that little thing what if Donna try it out for DJ Oh, you know what? I take that back immediately. She was terrible.

I know. I have to do as embarrass her and humiliate her in front of a national audience and she'll get right on with you. Tell me, Donna's a piece of shit. Kinkshamed my daughter. Oh, yeah.

I mean, it is a really spectacular burnout, though, dude. And I don't understand why the tryouts for this radio DJ slot has to be you go in in freestyle. Yeah, I don't know where that came from either. Is that a like, is that like a MC Mike fucking

prerequisite or something? I guess so. You got a, you got big shoes to fill. You know what? Don't do what Mike does. Bring your own energy to it. Like, I don't understand you like, you have to do this like rap or whatever and like what and so Donna flames out instantly. Instantly. It's really fucking pathetic.

It's fucking, it's something to see. Honestly. It's like watch the Challenger video. DJ Mike had a lot of stipulations for whoever's going to go into his shoes. Number one was they all have to be white. Whoever it is, it's got to be white, 100%. No, I think this is coming from administration. Well, Mike, you're doing an excellent job as DJ.

You're not representing all the views of all of our student body, shall we say. Maybe try out for the basketball team. What is it, fucking principal Sanders also? So, like Steve Sanders notices Donna fucking flaming out. just goes, oh, the humanity and fucking gets in there. And he totally freezes up. And David and Scott are like watching this. Because I guess

the way this is situated and like we didn't have a radio station in our high school. So I don't know about a DJ booth that's out in the middle of everything. Well that's the thing right. It's like the station also has like a big glass window where you can see. And you know, Eric, you and I did college radio at purchase. And at least

like the station did have big windows and shit like that. But like it was inside the station. Like yeah, it was like Booth wasn't like right out the hallway. It was like not a public booth. It was like a subterranial booth. And I couldn't imagine attending or even visiting or even knowing of a high school that was rich enough to have a fucking radio station. Right out in the middle. I mean, you're going to see them smoking all those cigarettes and taking hits from the flask.

And also like, let's this do the right thing. Oh, here comes, Mookie. Deliver another pizza. So, yeah, he flames out. David gets on there and does his great David freestyle and I think he he does I mean he becomes the DJ but I don't know if they make that clear in this episode do they well insofar is like he did the best he does a quote unquote the best job um but there is a line that he has to Scott like right before this like when Steve is flaming out and Scott's like what's going on

with Steve Sanders over there and David's like looking at him and as if this is like a thing like is that everybody knows, he just goes, oh my God, it's Mike Freeze. And I'm like, what are you fucking talking about? You can say stage fright. Yeah, yeah. Or dead air.

He does even say like, oh, this is better the dead air. Isn't it if folks? And I was like, yeah, go David. That's what I thought his gimmick was going to be, dude, because everyone starts paying attention when he's like ripping apart Steve Sanders. And I was like, oh, that's like how David finds his niche as the radio DJ.

He becomes Don Rickles. Yeah, no, exactly. He's like insult DJ, like comedy guy. But then he does this rap and it's awful. In all likelihood, he would actually be turned into Eminem, which is fitting for David's character. Are there not some people that are like, oh my God, David Silver can rap? Oh, wow, that's amazing. He even says in one of his freestyles, like, I'm not vanilla ice, but I'm here to say.

It's like, don't, do not. Yeah, no, please don't call attention to that. You are always vanilla ice. If you were a white rapper, you are always, I don't care how good you are. You're always vanilla ice. It's always going to get track back to vanilla ice, dude. Also, I do love, there's, I think it's his most momentous moment yet and maybe the biggest moment until he shoots himself in the face.

But dude, Scott, there's this big, like, the camera, like, pushes in on Scott. And it's like, this actor's got this huge close-up and he's like, I've created a monster. I do, I love that because like I feel like whatever and you brought this up last week like how is this kid a fucking regular I feel like when they finally kill him off it's like an accounting thing

it's just like somebody was like you know it's going through our books and we're paying Douglas Emerson as much as we're paying everyone else that can't be true exactly dude this is just this is like creative accounting balancing the books on this fucking show

you know I'm reading these scripts and I'm seeing a lot of Scott And we could take those out and put in more of Donna being humiliated. We could do that awfully easy. I don't understand why we do. I mean, we could just kill him. He could kill himself for all I care.

Cabin's saying Donna humiliated made me think, and I'm sure this doesn't happen, but man, Steve, is there an episode of this show where they all have to participate in, like, there's like a school, like, fair that they have to do? Like, it's like the seniors got to work at the school fair, and there's a dunk tank. and you're dunking on Donna?

I am almost positive there's a dunk tank scene but I don't believe it's Donna that goes in there it might be a Steve's... You know, now I'm thinking about it I think it's in in the college years

there's a dunk tank that Steve's fraternity does and he gets dunked repeatedly because everybody fucking hates him. Oh, nice, dunk the racist. What if Donna got dunked? Just a creative idea. I'm not telling you writers how to write

but what if Donna was the one of the dunk tank? You know what might be fun is to get Donna out in a dunk tank but the trick is the dunk tank's on a pier and there's a hole in the pier You know what? I'm gonna die soon and I'm not gonna have enough money

to keep Tori afloat so why don't we start a whole show just with Tori the Tori Donna show She had that fucking reality She did man What was the name of that? It was like her and her husband do something else kind of a thing Oh yeah Dean something

I think was his name Tori and Dean something something The spellings or some shit. So Glenn comes over the house. Oh, I'm sorry. Jim goes to Glenn's house and he fucking reads him the short man riot act. And what I do appreciate about this is like it's not like this overly aggressive agro bullshit kind of thing. He actually like talks to this guy and like he does stand up for his family in this moment. He stands up for himself and his marriage and his family.

And like honestly like that's. That's the, it's a nice way to see a situation like this handled. It's like, Jim Walsh getting the fucking tire iron out of the car. Some Al Bundy horse shit. Like, I'm going to beat your ass. You talk to my wife again. Yeah, exactly. But you could also tell Glenn's holding back.

It's not like he's just like, yeah, you're right. I'm a piece of shit. Yeah, okay, yeah, all right. I'm a piece of shit. All right. Yeah, you do only have your family and that's it, huh? You are just empty inside other than your family, huh? Well, you should have that then.

You should have that. If Glenn wanted, he could totally dominate this dude. Absolutely. Get the BDE, my friends. He's got it. And he's like taller. He's got a big reach. And it's his home turf of his fucking photography studio,

which I'm sure there's weapons and illegal things everywhere. I mean, if Glenn... You can auto focus this dude with a fucking tripod. Yeah, exactly. If Glenn was being for real, he would end this conversation with Jim, every time you see your wife and your kids looking at you in a slight disgust

rather than total disgust. I want you to remember that you only had that family because I didn't want it. I could have had it and I didn't want it. So take it. I threw it away. I threw it away. Not worth it. Your wife is my fucking runoff.

When you are covering your wife in Dorito dust and entering her, I want you to know she's thinking of me. Hey, how'd you know I was taking her to the ranch? Oh, I photograph, I photographed the ranch for a fucking Dorito World magazine. Oh, man, get me a subscription. I did that our halapeno bikini photo shoot.

That was, I will pay a year up front for the fucking Dorito magazine to come every month. Dorito World magazine, please. Dorito World magazine, that's exactly. I photographed for Dorito World, Natural Driographic, obviously, and Nintendo Power. But that's a great thing about why it should be a Dorito World Magazine, dude, because then you could get photographs and stories about all the other cool Dorito flavors that are in, like, Europe and Asia that we don't get in the United States. Oh, yeah, totally tamaric in Ecuador.

I love that flavor. I mean, like, this might be a thing. Can we bring back magazines and launch this? All right, step one, bring back magazines. Step two, form Dorito World Magazine. That will give us, this will finally get us publication because we will save journalism by launching Dorito World magazine. Yeah. And finally, someone

might cover this podcast. It'd be something. So Glenn finally goes back to Cindy at her house and he's like, listen, I just wanted to say thanks for blah, blah, blah. You know, it's been a riot. I've got an assignment in Canada.

That's a bullshit thing, dude, because what? In the last, since fucking Cindy came over last night, you just got this assignment? Yeah. He got an assignment and a girlfriend in Canada. I was about to say, Chris. So she's like, oh, that's been great. Oh, it's been wonderful.

He gives her the photographs. And Brendan and Brandt, this is when Brandon and Brenda notice him at the house. And Brandon's like, he's pulling a Nooner, Brand. What a Sleezmeister, he also says. Yeah, Sleezmeister, Nooner with my mom, buddy. Watching on her grundit. Oh, yes. that's the munching that's the munching so like that's kind of that scene finally uh everyone's in the house

and jim wall storms it in the middle of the afternoon which is unlike him because he doesn't doesn't come home from the secretary's house until 10 p.m. I mean from from work from work. Thank you Steve because like this is kind of feeling like he's got something on his side as well. Absolutely. Like he's coming home at 10 o'clock every night for what reason exactly? Yeah. Oh, the counting purposes. Yeah, the numbers had perfume on today. Yeah, honey, we can go out to dinner and have sex today, but the taxes start right back up tomorrow.

We all know. Guy ready, ready for the new year. There is a line that Glenn has to the kids because, like, the kids get out of the car when Glenn is, like, walking down the driveway to leave. And Glenn goes, I just want you to know you're a great family and you all really work well together. And, like, that's it.

The kids don't say anything. they just kind of like keep walking and it's like huh maybe that guy wasn't balling our mom after all I mean with the way that Brenda's been acting in this like and I know that there was an actual attraction and everything like that

but the way she's been acting and like being like a piece of shit to Cindy in this episode I really wanted you remember that scene in American Beauty when the kid what's his name West Bentley goes up to Chris Cooper and it's just tired of his shit

He's like, you know what? Yeah, I fuck guys all the time. Oh, yeah, I suck the best dick in four counties. I want Cindy to go up to the birthday. I sucked it and it was wonderful. It was beautiful. It was the best sex I had in my life. Do you think, you guys think, like, did sex happen of some sort?

No, I mean. Between Cindy and Glenn? Yeah. No. Back in the day, sure, but not now, no. Yeah, which are you asking about? College days? Well, no, no, I'm asking about now.

Between the scenes kind of a thing. No. Yeah, like read between the lines. Like maybe, I don't know. Some kind of stuff possibly. Glenn definitely got a grope. He got a hold of something. I don't know what it was.

Yeah. Disagree. I don't think anything happened. I gave that guy a beach in the parking lot. What a great art show. Wow. And even him, him in that parking lot. More passion than your father.

Oh, absolutely. I'm unbelievable. The great thing. though as this like as the driveway scene transitions into uh jim walsh coming on early for work again i want to point out awesome really slow like single note at a time on a keyboard uh version of the theme song almost as if james eckhouse was a jim walsh was like learning the beverly hills 90210 theme song on that cassio keyboard then dun dun dun dun dun sundy shindy shindy come in here guess what i learned i learned i learned had to play wicked game on the keyboard

Oh, the wicked game you played. How hot is it now, right? This is the sex song, this is what we do? Okay, yeah. So that's it. You know, they go off and all is forgiven. She probably never tells them that they made out. I think that's the right move there. Well, he kind of, he knows something

happened. Right. It's one of those well, because he's like, pack your bags, you know, kids, you'll be fine for the night. Your mother and I are going away. He's like, we're going to try for the third time to have our anniversary and she's like, well, third time is to try. Yeah, they're going to the ranch, dude. But she does start there

in that huge Walsh Foyer. And she's like, Jim, I, and he cuts her off and is like, do you love me? And she's like, yeah. And he's like, well, I love you. That's all I need to know. That's him saying, whatever sex you had, let's forget it and move on. Or whatever it was.

She must be so pissed. Like, I could have had a, that's a free pass. I didn't know I had a free pass. Fuck. Oh, is our 17-year anniversary Free Pass Like Larry David Yeah, exactly I could have fucked

And not told you shit Oh man See right now that doesn't do anything But like once we enter The full age of the cell phone You're talking sexting back and forth Between Glenn and Cindy Oh for sure

Yeah, exactly Nonsop Fucking Glenn into the nursing home Just fucking texting her I need an EKG on my cock, Cindy Cindy I just had sex with a prostitute It was empty, and I was thinking you the whole time, takes me back.

Yeah, dude, I don't even want to know about Glenn when emojis are invented. Eggplants everywhere, man. I guess all the young girls really like eating eggplant. This one means squirt. That is our episode for this Monday. We've got a lot of fun stuff happening on the... Well, first, I should ask, as we always do here, are you excited to continue and or any little parting shots, things we didn't get to. Eric Siska, start with you.

Oh, absolutely. I'm actually really excited. Again, like, you know, I've been losing my mind during this lockdown, but these 902 and Melrose, it's like, it's an awakening. It makes me feel alive again. And I feel like I'm finally now in a position to co-sponsor the Chris Cabin legislation to kill Jim Wall. Thank you. Thank you for your support, Senator. Christopher Cabin. Oh, I fucking hate these people. I hope they die. Can't wait for next week. Andrew Jukin I will just level-headedly say that you know what

people have problems no one's perfect and we're just trying to learn some lessons here each week are we not I will say though I am kind of getting fed up with the lack of Dylan yep yep

I'm really really kind of getting fed up with that you cannot give me a fucking power-packed flavor like Dylan McKay and just like quickly shuffle in three to four episodes where he is doing nothing. And as I look ahead to next week's 902 and O, it doesn't appear that he's around anywhere. But I have to ask, I have to ask, Steve. The IMDB plot summary says that Brandon gets tempted by an older woman, Nina, who specializes in health massage solutions.

Here we go. Are we talking happy endings, man? I don't remember this episode at all. I do know for a fact, at least looking at Dylan's got to be at it because usually when he's not, they'll say credit only. Jim Walsh next week, gentlemen. Chris Cabin's blood pressure gets a break, credit only. Yeah. Oh, see, there you go, Kevin.

Your ticker can get a week off. He got lost at the ranch. So that's it for this week's, this Monday's episode for Melrose 2 and O. But we are not fucking stopping on this feed, my friends, because tomorrow we're, We are joining, we're going on some stranger tides. Oh, no, tomorrow we're going to World's End. I apologize. With our good friend Ben Worcester joins the show.

We recorded that episode already. It's a fucking banger. You're going to love it. We're going nuts on these pirate movies. They're terrible. This is the worst of the bunch. So far, we'll see how this goes. But we're not just doing pirate stuff.

If you go on patreon.com slash we hit movies right now, we have an episode available for you, a full-length two-hour episode on The Ring. Gore Vibinsky's, we love, movies ring episode. That's super fun. We got an animation damnation dropping sometime this week. We've got a Nexus coming up. We've got some the Nexus is

a dad parallels. So that works for this month and next. It's Cerick and Riker's father Kyle Riker. A lot of fun episode. You're going to want to check out the Nexus this month. I will say for this week by the way, after At World's End on Tuesday, Wednesday

is when we're throwing you the animation damnation, which by the way is on the Jetsons. Yeah, dude. And a giant woman. Oh, that's right. There's symmetry. This is a giant woman in both. Yes, both in a world's end to end in the Jetsons. You're right. Wow, a lot of giant women this week, loving it. So that's exciting.

But we'll be back here on Thursday to talk about Melrose Place. Actually, Kevin, I got to say if your blood pressure gets a little bit of time off for next week's 90210. Be sure you don't strain yourself too much in a couple. of days when you watch this Melrose place because it is Billy dating a stand-up comedian. That's a good place to end it. Until tomorrow when we're back with the World's End, I have been

Steven Sadek. Andrew Chupin. Eric Siska. Chris Cabin. Take it easy and remain indoors. You know, I'm going to be able to be. That was a hate gum podcast.