We Hate Movies - MELR0210 #19 - 90210 "The Gentle Art of Listening"

Episode Date: May 25, 2020

We kick off another week of quarantined pods with an all-new ep of MELR0210! The episode in question, a Beverly Hills, 90210 entry titled "The Gentle Art of Listening," originally graced the airwaves on December 6th, 1990. This wild episode features Brenda getting in too deep at a teen crisis hotline, Brandon thinking he's going to sleep with a massage therapist that used to work at the Peach Pit, Nat getting a bit loud in the back room, Scott botching a public prank phone call, Steve Sanders celebrating Grudge Week, David emceeing his first school event, Dylan not being around enough, and Andrea being needlessly condescending to Brenda! MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this more-than-necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. Hello, and welcome to another one of the other to another edition of Melrose. 210, a quarantine side show where we ask you to remain indoors. Yeah. But put on your sunscreen, because we're back at fucking high school at fucking law. It feels like it's at long last, I have to say. If we could lift quarantine, but it stipulates that I have to go back to high school, I'm cool with it.

Dude, the world's oldest freshman. Oh, man. So wait, so you're telling me, the only way we can get out of quarantine is to fucking pull a high school version of Billy Madison. Yes, exactly. I see. Okay. I think I, you know, I think I would do some things right this time around. Yeah.

Uh-huh. Maybe hit the books. I agree with you, Steve. Maybe I'd hit the gym. Eric, I like you in a contest against Bradley Woodford. Definitely. We're both Eric's, and we both have weird nuts. I do want to wish everybody a happy Memorial Day.

I hope you're enjoying your sad hot dogs, wherever you may be having them. I also do want to, you know, obviously, wish any service members listening, because I know a whole ton of you do, thank you for what you do. So happy Memorial Day to everybody. And these disembodied voices you're hearing are my good friends, Christopher Cabin.

Ahoy, hoi, ho. Eric Siska. It's me. I'm not going to step on it, so I'll introduce myself first, which I should have done. I'm Steven Zadak. And here comes Andrew Jupin.

Yo! There it is. That's for the service members. All right, anyways. Yeah, I'm sure they really appreciate it. Oh, you know, some guy is, like, in Iraq, tearing up, like, thank, no, thank you. No, thank you for what you do. Thank you for being a fat, drunk idiot on this podcast.

Not everybody knows what it's like to be, and now fat at 38. Not everybody now. We are talking about the gentle art of listening, a, the ninth episode or 10th episode, Hulu listens to the 10th, but it's really the ninth, because the way they fuck up the pilot the ninth episode of Beverly Hills 90210210 original air date December the 6th

1990 and I do the beginning of this episode just filled me with like oh thank God we're back in high school like I just feel like the last two weeks especially last week with the Cindy nonsense and the week before with the Jackie nonsense it's been like a lot of parent

stuff now like you don't say Steve oh yeah I forgot we got And also, James Eckhouse credit only, as we know. Yeah, Cabin, did that do anything for your fucking blood pressure this week? It was much better until I found out what Brenda was doing. Yes. You know, I would take, I'll take Jim over the kids, over the entire premise of the show.

I don't know about that. So what you're saying, Eric, is that you would appreciate another Aaron Spelling spinoff just called Jim. Oh, dude. I would watch, I'd be watching Jim. But here's the thing about Jim, right? It's nothing has changed for the Walsh's. Like, everyone is, no one's divorced, no one's died or anything like that. It's just a show where you see what Jim Walsh is doing on all those business trips.

Absolutely. That'd be amazing. Him, like, getting a cocktail on a plane and, like, sending it back. Yep. Like, being a real piece of shit. You can see, like, those power walks he does in that suit, do the whole thing. For some reason, he always has the same pilot. And that's, like, his buddy at all these airports.

or you know other Sivinoff idea it's Jim you know it's after the events of everything and now he's just a keyboardist in a nightclub

we've got that casio with him after the events of everything no I like he leaves what's her name Cindy he leaves Cindy I do I want to ask a question because

we're loving this Melorot 2 and oh a little bit too much we're already talking about how we might continue this after quarantine yada yada we're not sure nothing is nothing said in stone but I don't think we're going to get

even no matter what we do. I don't think we'll ever get to the end of this thing where we, uh, so do you guys want to know what, how they write Jim and Cindy off the show in like season seven or, absolutely. Fire a car crash. Jim accepts

a job in China. No. And they go to the wall. They're like, we just need these old people out of here. Get him to China. Dude, it's so, wait a second. It was just like, what is the location that we can guarantee we will never see these people again? Oh, I know. China.

Look, Cindy, I've been made fun of by everybody in America. Okay? We got to go to a new country and I'll get made fun of there. What good job? What is this? I'm sure, not for nothing, that there's perfectly qualified accountants in China. What do you need him for? No, he's a keyboardist sensation.

Oh, dude, it's kind of like, you know, some jazz musicians are huge in Japan. Jim Walsh, keyboardist, big in China. That's right. I'm sorry, I have to live this up now because I want to make sure I'm not getting this wrong. No, that's fine. You know, so he could do like, okay, so he's got like a tour going on. He's playing Shanghai, Gway Lynn, Beijing. There's a big controversy because while he's over there, he is asked to play a show in Hong Kong.

Oh, I'm sorry. I got it wrong. They moved to Hong Kong, which is a little more business-friendly. Oh, they do move to Hong Kong. Okay. That's right. Okay. But even still, pretty far from Beverly Hills.

Absolutely. No, that's too bad because I was about to presuppose a scenario where Jim Walsh urinates on the Great Wall of China. You know what? It gets a hop-skip at a jump, Eric. That's true. Maybe on a vacation, he does that and he gets in a little hot water. You know, it sounds bad, but honestly, if I had Brendan for a son, that's what I'd do, too. Get myself to Hong Kong and like,

no, you don't got to visit Thanksgiving. Go with your girlfriend's family. Brenda, too. Brenda is a piece of shit in this episode. She is, she's really shitty. So this episode, we start with a pep rally. Again, I felt really like happy to be back at this high school. Is this Outcast we're listening to?

It sounds like it. It does. It's got to be fake music again, though. No, no, no. This is licensed. Yes, of course. No, no. Yeah, that's a good point.

Like, why would you not, why would you take out whatever bullshit song and then put on an Outcast song? Yeah, no, it's got to be someone just trying to sound like the two of them or something like that. It's a cast out or something. So I will actually read off, wow, whoa, all right. So there's the first, the soundtrack credits are Get Up before the night is over, which is a tectronic song. There's something called, since I met you baby, by Ivory Joe Hunter, Devil or Angel by the Clovers and Chocolate. by the time. Now this is all whatever was on the original

episode. You'll never know it's on Hulu. You'll never know. Right. Yeah. No. And of those groups, I've heard of the time. Well, yeah. I guess Prince was involved. He wrote this song called Chalka. Yeah. Yeah. It's band. Yeah. The time.

You know what? I didn't know that. Oh, man. By the way, this pep rally thing, it's to celebrate what they're calling Grudge Night. Grudge Week, my friend. It's a whole week of grudging. Oh, that's right.

Yeah, but like, what? Like, is it, is it, it's not like a spirit week thing. It's not leading to a homecoming or is it? Here's the grudge night, my new favorite holiday. It is a spirit thing. What happens is for one week, J-horror is legal. The grudge monsters come out. That makes sense.

Yes, I think that's good. No, it's, yeah, so it's, it's, it's, our hated rivals at Beverly High, are we have a week of events wherein we grudge them stuff and it's we're watching the pep rally go Brandon makes eyes with this cheerleader who becomes very important

in the episode for a second and then he makes eyes with this weird freshman that's like stalking him kind of in this episode and he is outraged he is so pissed off that this girl is looking at him

you know what you know what incredible nope nope nope nope nope you are fucking you are fucking 100% wrong here and I will tell I will tell you fucking why okay because he is like later talking to Cindy about this and he's like mom this 14 year old girl has a crush on me and I'm really

uncomfortable about it you know what dude good for you not taking any notes from fucking Jake over at Melrose's place that's a fair point ignore it just ignore it it's just a little girl looking at you what the fuck is wrong with you what's Brandon's age supposed to be 15

16 no he's at least 17 years old. I don't know about 17. Yeah. Well, because also there is something coming up where in this season I think they're juniors and then they're juniors again because or no, maybe they're

softboards and they kind of repeat twice to just sort of keep everybody in high school for a little longer because the show's worse. Jim, they shit the bed with the grades. They got to repeat. They got to repeat. All right kids. One more shitty school year like this and I swear I'm shipping you to

Hong Kong. Brandon, a D-minus in English? Aren't you supposed to be a journalist? What the fuck am I sending money for? We got to talk about Brandon's hat in this other things. Thank you. Thank you. Because before he locks eyes with that cheerleader,

before he locks eyes with that 14-year-old girl, somewhere along the way he locked eyes with one of the worst hats I have ever seen in my life. It's a statement piece. A proto-cangle. Yeah, it is. It's a very proto-cangle, but it's got like a thick band thing going on.

It sort of looked like, and I know it's not, but just the second I saw it, it reminded me of the hat that Jack Nicholson wears to the art museum and Batman. Yes, actually, you're right. Lawrence Music. For this Grudge week. Speaking of Prince.

I think we'll probably, yeah. I think we'll just go through this whole episode all the way through without doing A plot B block because they're all kind of together a little bit. I will say just real quickly, the 14-year-old girl, the character's name is Lucy. the actress is Heather Hopper who was Nikki

on Good Morning Miss Bliss the proto saved by the bell and she was not one of the characters brought on to Save by the Bell she kind of has an accursed career a little bit sadly like she was in True Beverly Hills congratulations oh also with Donna

Donna's in that movie yada yada yada but then like you know when you when you say thank the troops you're kind of thinking Donna a little bit. A lot of Donna but I do want to say her career kind of shits the bed

and she winds up like going away for 10 years she winds up being in an in an Elvira movie which is fine Oh yeah that's where I know I just watched that movie No Cabin I don't think she's in

Mistress of the Dark it's some other thing from like 2001 Oh Jesus Yeah it's like Elvira Hold on to pull it up right now I'm looking at it It's Elvira Keeping the Ler

lights on. Elvira's haunted Hills from 2001. What the fuck is that? It's keeping the lights on. You know what? You know, just put us in an Elvira movie

at this point. Sure, and Chris Cabena is Elvira. And I'm going to skip the one I want to talk about. She's in something called a TV show called

Mismatch as Coffee House Cashier. She was in an episode of Passions as surrogate candidate number one. And the thing that I would just take

umbrage with as an actress and just talk to the showrunner she's in the shield in an episode called Cherry Poppers as two-bit whore like I

again this is my resume would you mind can we just call me prostitute number two is that okay bump me up to one bit whore like oh yeah

so like a two-bit horse so she's like bad at being a whore or it's like a fake whore that sounds like a line of dialogue that was thrown at her. Yeah, two bit means cheap. Okay, okay. It's from the English.

Two bits. One bit would be even cheaper, I guess. Can I be a four-bit whore? How about a pound? Once you become an eight-bit whore, you could fuck Mario. Oh, my God. And then she retired from acting, which makes a good deal of sense. It doesn't help that she looks like the girl from sleepaway camp, by the way.

She kind of does, yeah. And the cheerleader played by Lisa Dean Ryan as Bonnie was Doogie Hauser's love interest for the whole front of that show. And I want to say, I might be getting this wrong, but I think she is the girl that Doogie's parents go out of town. I'll never forget this episode because it was one of those like little kid things, right? This episode where his parents go out of town or something like that and he invites her over and they're like making out of town. out in the Hauser's hot tub and uh-oh caught in the act oh yeah i mean it must be because she was his girlfriend so that's how that work look if the guy's saving lives let him get a little he is a doctor dude he's willing 60 hours a week at the ER he just wanted to get caught it's

part part of a fetish oh so yeah we're walking around um Steve Sanders and Dylan welcome back to the fucking show Mary I know uh talk too little Of course. It's two scenes. I'm not, I'm not fine of it. Cabin, unless there's an episode of this show where every single line of dialogue is uttered by Luke Perry, it's too little Dylan. Oh, man, I would like a monologue episode. Yes, of course. There is an episode, I believe, later on, wherein Dylan is talking to his younger self, which is Luke Perry in a baseball hat, and you'll enjoy that episode. You'll enjoy that episode. Oh, one more, one more spirit day thing here we got to talk about because it's one of two times in this episode, he fucking grossly humiliates himself in public.

David Silver, like, has gotten the gig as the new radio DJ for West Beverly. And so as such, I guess, along with that is like, now you're the emcee for certain school events, including this thing. And he's like broadcasting a prank call with Scott. And then, like, Scott tries to fucking take the wheel and totally. totally botches it and is just humiliated. Yeah, he like picks up the phone when it was on speaker or something, like makes this crazy feedback on the entire school's like,

my ears! Oh, I hope that kid shoots himself with the face someday. I'm surprised Steve Sanders doesn't say that. But Steve explains what Grudge Week is. It's a week of events that happen at school against hated Beverly High. And he's like, yeah, man. And it's a week of fuck it. It is a week of debauchery.

it's a week wherein younger girls go up to the older guys and Dylan shows up and it's kind of weird where Brandon's like dude I didn't think you'd be into this thing is like I don't know what can I say Brandon I'm into the younger ladies I'm into the younger ladies

it's like yeah kind of weird and then Brenda and Kelly Kelly's like let's get fuck this Kelly and Donald like fuck this this is nonsense let's go shopping which makes Brenda very upset it's very interesting to me

And I guess I never thought about it, but it's interesting how they have characters like Kelly and Donna, who you would assume would be all four, like, I'm going to be on the cheerleading squad, ooh, football players, is that the other thing? And I actually found it kind of refreshing that they were like, hey, this is fucking dumb. Let's go to the mall. Yeah, I mean, that's a good point because, like, she mentions, like, oh, I maybe wanted to have joined the cheerleading group. and I guess this group like Kelly Garth is that right now Kelly Taylor Jenny Garth plays her right yes yes yep that whole friend group they're not popular they're like quasi popular they're not like the upper echelon I guess yeah that's that odd thing yeah of like they're so like hyper rich and out of it that they're like yeah just not involved with your what would be like the traditional cast system in a high

school right where it's like the jocks and cheerleaders were on their whole thing. Wealth can buy you out of anything. It's just, it's, it's, it's fascinating that they don't have those characters be interested in that at all. So Brandon comes home, Cindy is like making, I mean, roasting a whole turkey for, I don't even know who. Like, I've never understood.

It's grudge giving. Grudge giving. Oh my God. That was, I think, the original title for Festivist, by the way, was grudge giving. Yeah, we could cook a pigeon on the quad. We all eat it at the same time. you'll never survive grudge giving

so like yeah she's and you know Brandon explains his problem it's amazing Brenda just comes in and it's not even like she's slamming the door in tears

she's just sort of like hey Brenda she's like hi like kind of huffy and walks storms off to her room and then like Sydney's like

God I hate that bitch it's like everything has to stop for everyone to fucking hate can Brenda just be in a sort of bad a little bit. I know, and it's so fucked up because, like, Cindy, also,

she's like, you know, I swear to God, that girl waits for your father to go out of town on business and then acts like an absolute wretched bitch to me. Brandon's like, don't worry, mom, I got it. I'll fucking jump on the grenade

that is Brenda. I'm on it, Cindy. She just starts smoking. Every fucking time, your fucking father. He's a goddamn house. She starts. It would be awesome.

if they pulled that gag from The Simpsons and, like, she takes a sip of wine and it's like, dun, dun, dun. So, you know, Brandon comes up, and this is the whole scene where she's like, you know, I like Kelly and Donna. They're sort of my best friends. You know, Kelly and who's that other girl?

Oh, yeah, I guess. It's Donna. You got to say Donna. D-O-N-A, Donna. We're phasing out Scots and bringing in Donna. Doug Emerson's like, what? Dude, it's just, you cut to next week's episode.

It's Tori's spelling in a Lakers cap hanging out with David in the DJ booth. You know, Donna, you've always been my best friend. That's right, Scott. Or whatever, whatever, you know. So, but, you know, I love them. They're sort of my best friends. But, you know, they're just a little shallow. And Brandon's, well, you know, you can just join up with Andrea.

She does this teen rap line where, you know, for trouble. teens, it'll give you some purpose. And it's always the same thing. It's like, Andrea Zuckerman. I'm like, what's the problem there? I don't, and like just the way, like the distaste in the way they spit out this woman's

Jewish name. It's insane, dude. Like, oh, Andrea, Andrea, Zuckerman. You're just like, man. It would make so much more sense if there was another Andrea that was popular or something. Yeah, if they knew another one so they had to fucking clarify but she's the only Andrea.

But she reluctantly agrees. The next day she goes up to Andrea. Andrea, not exactly in my top 10 this week. Nope. Nope. You can fucking flush this girl this week, man. The condescending nature here. There's no winners in this episode.

No, no, nobody comes out clean. You're right. Dylan. Yeah. Oh, oh, yeah. I can't feel it. Well, Dylan was just trying to dip into those freshman ladies. That's true.

You know, so it's... I think it's a thing where Dylan's telling these fucking dudes what they want to hear. You know what I mean? Yeah, as a people pleaser. You don't see him doing anything. I mean, he's out of the episode after like one more, you know, scene with him.

When you're next to the fucking moral void that is Steve Sanders, I'll take Dylan any day. Yeah, very true. Steve Sanders is a moral void, but we are... We're squeaking him up a little bit. He's just sort of casual... He's not antagonistic to Brandon this week. He's hanging out with...

going a little bit. He's being nice to Scott and David. I think someone of the writers who was like, Steve, a little too evil? Yeah, let's tone that down a bit. Yeah, guys, I called this meeting today because I have to tell you, the way we have been positioning this Steve Sanders character,

not a fan favorite. Guys, I got to tell you, we cannot have Steve be the rapist in this episode. I'm sorry, I know that's how we originally wrote it, but we have to get it out of here. You know who could be, baby Donna. Oh, God. I don't know, it's an interesting turn.

So, Brenda's like, hey, Brandon said that you run this teen line or you're part of this teen line. Would you mind letting me know about it? And she's like, I don't know, Brenda. It takes a lot of dedication to be part of the teen line. It's so insane. Like someone says, I want to help out at this crisis line. And they're like, oh, do you? That's adorable.

And also, especially because fuck you, Andrea, I see right through that. shit dude you are doing this because oh we don't look good on a college application yeah there is no genuine shit about this person it is all I am doing all of these extracurriculars so it looks good so I can get into Harvard she doesn't care about the people on this suicide line doesn't at all she only cares about the rules yeah exactly a real a real rule maister so we cut to the the crisis center Andre is there Brenda is not allowed to answer the phone in their first three months you know it's like a trainee period who makes a

ton of sense even though I don't know even Three months sounds a little short, but these people are a lot. I mean, yeah, maybe, like, just see how it goes a couple of times. I mean, because they even have, like, you see the woman who's the, like, adult moderator of it, and she's got, like, a stack of flash cards, you know, so, like, you can be guided through a conversation. I'm sure there's, like, a packet, like, a script that they have. I was, like, three months. It's a coat, you got a, like, it's in, like, boiler room, you yell RECO when somebody wants to commit suicide.

And then there's a big red light. She has to take over the phone kind of a thing. How many times a week am I coming in for this training? Yeah, that's the fuck is going on here. Well, that's the weird thing, too. It doesn't seem like it's once a week. She's coming in every night. Yeah, it's like three nights in a row.

Until 10 p.m. And also after, because Brenda wants to hang out and talk to this, a girl who has problems. So she winds up, we do see some really, we were watching the teen line inaction. Oh, yeah, we are, dude. My biggest, heartiest laugh of the episode. Anybody see this girl?

and I want, I want this shirt, this fucking awesome Soviet shirt she had Rockin? Yes, I saw that. That was crazy. There are some crazy shirts in this episode, I have to say. We'll get to them as they come along. But that was what I was like, ooh, hammer and sickle shirt. Nice. You hear like one guy be like, oh, you should tell her how you feel and blah, blah, blah,

and this, that's the other thing. And then they cut to Andre, and Andre is like, listen, about 50% of our calls are guys who have been caught master, by their sister or mother. Oh, my God, dude. I lost my mind laughing. Because, like, I mean, I don't know. Yes, that's horribly embarrassing.

But, like, worthy for a call to the help line? Maybe get a separate line. Maybe one line is dedicated to guys who get, like, caught masturbating by their sisters or mothers or grandmothers. Are they masturbating while they call? Yeah, a little bit. I got a whole separate line. That's even for that.

Five calls a night, by the way. It's crazy. Hey, I got caught masturbating to a woman that's an awful lot like you. Tell me I've been bad. Welcome to the caught in the act hotline. Kind of take, what are you doing? You got it in your hand or what? Got it in your hand.

They're inventing J-O-I, dude. No, no, Brenda. You're not following. the rules. You've got to start by saying all your pants off. Look, before we move you over to the suicide rape line, you have to do the jerking off line for a little bit.

It's a softball, you just go through it. It's an easy script. Look, Brenda, all you have to do is stay on the phone and do your best to not laugh at them, okay? By the way, Chris, it's two softballs. A call. And also, by the way, unless they want you to laugh at them, then you'll figure that out. Yeah.

It's so small. um so he said i helped him shoot did i do good um so that's kind of you know a rousing round of teen line stuff everyone's like ah see and this this moderator is like all right great job tonight uh everybody's 10 o'clock time to close up i'm sorry kelly calls in the middle of this and she's oh man oh my god dana the word is dana she's like oh my god donna wants to get a nose job and her mom is freaking out, Brenda. And Andrea's like, of course, you're taking personal calls.

I cannot believe it. And she's like, oh, no, Kelly's my ride, you know, blah, blah, blah. I'm just trying to figure that out. And Kelly's like, I'll pick you up at 10. There's a weird thing, though, where, like, this, like, Andrea and the woman who's helping supervise the crisis line

are both staring at her because she's gotten this phone call. They watched the entire phone call. and Brenda's excuse is like oh it was my ride they needed the address and I'm like but you didn't say an address that is a bad lie

my wife pointed that out too and was screaming about it so whatever they closed down the teen line for the night Andrea and I mean this is where I give Andrea a little leeway she takes this shuttle bus you know it's like 10 o'clock at night you take the shuttle bus to another

public bus she's getting home at like two or three o'clock at the morning every night probably but she's also right here trying to sniff out to see if she could get a ride from brenda because she's like so is uh brandon picking you up you know like oh can i fucking abuse this dude and get a ride out of him but she's no but she's all you know we all know what's going on there because she's like sure tell brandon i said hi did you hey brenda i said hi last day she calls it like three o'clock of the morning uh hey uh brenda jandra great job of the teen line i i i can't uh did did you happen to tell Brandon I said hi and what did he say back? Look, Brenda, we can forget what you did wrong here. This is fine. I just need a pair of your brother's

tidy whitey. Use preferred. Skidmark edition. Oh, come on. Just in an envelope. Just make it cautious and then nothing happened all under the rug. But Kelly does not show up on time and Brenda goes back to the teen office to call Kelly to see what's going on. She does

uh-oh, and this is when a stranger calls back because she gets a call from this woman named Bonn, we'll find out is named Bonnie, who is, we'll find out as the cheerleader. And it's a real who done it of, you know, she's very upset, distraught.

She's talking about like, you know, what happens if you tell a guy to stop and he doesn't? And following it up with how do you know if you've been raped? And I have to say, here's a thing. Like, you're dealing with this, it's, it's, you know, interesting to see a show like this, tackling a subject like this in, I guess, the way that it does.

But, man, you know, you got to dial it back on the soap opera music cues right here. Like, because when the girl on the phone is like, how do you know if you've been raped? Like, the swell of this orchestra. I was like, what the fuck's going on? The thing is, it's not a soap opera set. It's like X-Files music. Yes, it is. It was found the human

like fucking monster in the toilet and like da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. It is. It's eerie, creepy music. You're expecting like the fucking scream guy to call a little bit. Oh, fuck, yeah, it would be great if that guy called in.

I can't get anyone to play a game with me. I think the cigarette smoking man was on that shuttle bus. Hey, Andrea. How's it going? Would you like one of my Morley's cigarettes. Eugene Tooms as well. Oh yeah sure. All the fucking X-Files highlights are on there, dude. Dude, a fucking shuttle bus. You know what, dude? Quarantine or no? No shuttle buses for this

gentleman. Absolutely not. No, no, no, no, no, no. So, you know, Brenda's very distraught. And Brenda's doing a terrible job, too. She's like, so what high school are you going to? What's your name? What's your last name? She's like, well, I'm not going to tell you. This is, can I be anonymous? Of course you can. She's very distraught. The next day, she goes to Andrea for help. She's like, fuck, this is a situation. Like, I need an adult here. Andreas been doing it a long time. It's like, so, Andrea, so about last night, she's like, don't worry, Brenda, if you want to quit because you're a dumb fucking airhead, I'm not going to judge you, you fucking idiot baby. Yep. Could not believe it. Dude, could not believe the

condescension. Like, what a surprise. You're quitting after the first day. No big deal, though. Ongria. I do want to say those, Steve. I don't want to miss. something I thought was quite fantastic. At that first scene of the phone call, after, you know, the girl hangs up or whatever, Kelly comes in and Brenda's very distraught, and they're sitting there talking in the counseling center for a second.

Did everyone catch the leather tassel jacket that Kelly is wearing? It's an Ultimate Warrior Special for sure. Oh my God, dude, it looks like the... Did anybody see the movie Deerskin that just came out with Jean-Doujardin? it is the jacket from that movie it was freaking me out also didn't seem like a thing that Kelly Taylor would be wearing the whole like urban cowboy thing

it's in this week we also got to the peach pit by the way speaking of last night and you know Brandon and again I'm just happy to be back at the peach pit you know what I mean again we're not in some fucking adult lounge no like the second I saw that sign dude it was like a warm bath

like ah the peach pit just just get to see Brendan working and, like, cleaning up some dishes. And then from the back, you hear Nat go, oh, yeah, oh, yeah. The reaction of these customers sitting at the diner, like, counter, it's like, oh, what a quiet night of the peach pit. Here's your pie, sir. Oh, are you done with that coffee, ma'am? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, how's your side salad? Oh, oh. Hey, Nat, are you calling the hotline again? I can get a rigum up for you. They use the Gula base as a toilet Yes Before you ask

Yes, Nat is getting pegged in the back there Just letting you know Just another Tuesday night At the Peach Pit He does come back He goes Brandon goes to see what's the matter

And it looks like Matt Nat's getting pegged by the way It definitely does dude Yeah And it's this like Attractive woman named Nina Is giving him a massage And he's like, oh, Brandon, this is the best I felt in years, not since my R&R in Bangkok.

And I'm like, dude, yeah, it's some line. And I was like, what the fuck did he just say? I had to go to Bangkok after I kept on crash and grudge week trying to pretend I'm a fucking senior. It didn't go too well. No, yeah, Bangkok. That's where I learned about pegging. You got to open your mind sexually, Brandon. You have to try everything.

All the fruits of life. Oh, that's great, Mr. Nat. Mr. Nat. So Mr. Nat is like, oh, you know, yeah, oh, Brandon, this is just so great. This woman, Nina is like, yeah, I'm doing acupressure. It's like a cousin of acupuncture, but it's all sensual with the pushing with your fingers and not needles. And Brandon's like, fuck, I would be too, man. The description of this thing, Jesus Christ.

It's very sexy and he's just like, yeah. That's like, oh, yeah, I'm doing it. it work and it's fucking great. Brendan, get out of here. Brandon, get out of here. Brendan, make yourself useful. Get me a new pair of pants and boxes. And boxes.

You know the kind that I like. Look, it's a lot of fluid. Okay, just get me the pants and boxes. He's ringing it out and do a dish. Oh, come on. Jesus Christ. Jesus fucking Christ. It's okay, Mr.

I'll serve it to Mr. Danzel, Mr. Tapp. Oh, that poor lonely fuck. I got to feel a Mr. Danzell fucking waltzed off this mortal coil already, dude. Yeah, he's probably never coming back, right? No, that midterm he gave was the last test he ever administered to a student class. Um, buried in a cheap suit. Yeah, that was his last will and test. Um, in.

Nice. I know, I meant to do a bad one. No, you know what, dude, I'll take that as opposed to Nat ringing out his come and the dishwasher. Hey, I never said that dirty word. I'm done saying that. Yeah, of course. All right. Someone on the internet yelled at you. That's right. So, Nina comes out to the front area and she's like, oh, hey, Brandon, you know, if you're, oh, no, she just said, Brandon, you're next kind of a thing. Yes. So we cut the next, we cut to the next day and Brandon is, I love how like, it's just, it's the perfect situation. It's Brenda dealing with a real crisis.

So a girl is getting raped. Brandon's like, dude, I go. fucking fingered at the peach pit last night, bro. Again, Steve Sanders is just like, oh, wow, it sounds really sexy. So did you score or what? And he's like, no, she's like, old. She's like 23 or something.

He's like, Brandon, you blew it. This lady wants to fuck you. Dude, it's ridiculous. The line that he has here, that really entices Steve Sanders, he's like, and then she started rubbing the balls. Elypsies, ellipsies,

ellipsies, of my feet. And then Steve doesn't do is like, you mean the balls of your feet? It's great because she's supposed to be this older woman. We find out later that she worked at the peach bitch. She's graduated high school. She's done all this stuff. And like it's really obvious. And this is the problem too.

Like when you have everyone supposed to be different ages, quote unquote. And like, Andre, it looks so much older than this woman. And I looked at the ages. She's like at least nine years old. than this actress. Oh, man. And it's like, dude, you know, that's the problem

when you hire fucking 40-year-olds to play 20-year-olds, when you have to hire somebody to play a 23-year-old, they should obviously be 50. Yeah, and like, that's, it's fascinating this whole thing because, like,

you can only skew that shit so much because otherwise the Nats just a college student. We got to bite the bullet here. We got to get Estelle Getty to play Nina. Oh, shit, I'd love that, actually. only thing that makes sense because yeah and the other thing too is like what and it is weird for a 23 year old to hook up with a 16 or 17 year old and if you saw them in the street be like wow that is a huge age difference but it's not here because they look the same age because they probably are yes absolutely also real quick thing it's like there's only like an a plot and a b plot in this episode but then there's also way down there's like a g plot and that is cindy walsh volunteering at the recycling center you know thank you for hitting the

G-plot. You know, I knew that would open it up for someone to say that. Good. Good. It's like Cindy now needs something to do because Jim is presumed dead on whatever business trip he's on. And Brenda's now like doing stuff and Brandon's out there working and trying to get laid. It's just funny because she's like, oh, Brenda, you inspired me. Your father and I are so happy that you're working at this crisis center. What a great thing to do. I'm taking a note at a year playbook and I'm volunteering at the recycling center and I was

like I don't know man in my town the recycling center was just the fucking dump and the garbage man took the recycling to the dump along with the garbage so I don't know what this lady's doing at this recycling center is she actually just recycling

yeah it was a new thing at the time what's also a fad yeah what's funny too is brend is like oh maybe I can she's like no positions filled. She's taken. Because yeah, Brenda's looking to get out of the teen line.

Obviously, she's really distressed by what she heard. It's like, oh, maybe I can do it. No, Brenda. No, no, no. I already asked Brenda. They said no more people. Yeah, you know, she's probably not even volunteering at anything. She's just going out with that guy Wayne or whatever.

Glenn? She's just... Oh, Big Dick Glenn, of course. We're just a week removed essentially, right? Yeah. Glenn has got all this old newspaper at his house and used condoms and half-drug bottles of wine it's just been a wild week for Cindy

because actually yeah you're right later on Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait Why does he need a bunch of old newspapers Is he pissing on the floor? No because she's bringing them under the Under the auspice that she's recycled Oh recycling the newspapers oh I said They put them up over the windows

Because their sexual sexual exploits get really Wild and dark I thought Glenn was just like, man, I got to put newspaper down. I cannot stop pissing on my own floor like a dog. He's not housebroken. Later, even Brandon gives her like some, well, he's expected to fuck Nina overnight. And he makes up all this bullshit excuse and said he's like, yeah, whatever, sure, fine. Don't worry what I'm doing at night.

So you go do whatever you want. Boy, my teenage son spends an awful lot of time at the library in the middle of the night. I'm just going to go and take these 80 Diet Pepsi bottles. off to get fucked. I mean, to the center. I'm going to the center. I'm not having a good affair. You're having a good affair. So that's kind of it. We go back to the recycling

set. The hot line where Brenda gets sort of outed here. Bonnie calls it like 9.55. And Andrea's like, oh, it's, you know, we're really close to closing up here, but I guess I can do one more. And I'm like, you fucking jerk. And here's the thing. It's kind of weird because it's like, you know, I understand not everything can be, you know, 24 hours service, that kind of thing.

But it's just odd that they are so strict to like, listen, motherfucker, this hotline for your help is open from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. Look at your fucking watch, you stupid asshole. 10.4 does it say? Fuck you call back tomorrow. Look, who needs counseling after 10 p.m.? What kind of sicko are you? You fucking loser, call back in the morning. And my wife pointed out, why don't you just shut down the line? Exactly. Turn on, let it go to the answering machine. It's like you have called the such and such helpline, blibbidi blob, you know.

You are cared about, like, do not, blah, blah, you know what? You just have a generic thing at night. I mean, if this is an emergency call 9-1-1, what are those things? I mean, you never know when those calls are going to come in. That's why most of those kinds of hotlines are 24 hours now. For sure. And I get it. But just make sure something's there.

But so, but it's actually this girl Bonnie again. And she's like, can I speak to Brenda? And Andre's not going to say, miss, miss, miss, somebody broke the rules. Somebody broke the rules. Fucking tattletale nark overachiever. And, you know, Brenda gets outed that she did this thing last night. But like, what's her face? It's like, the teacher is like, look or the supervisor with look.

She only wants to talk to you. I'll be here the whole time kind of a thing. So she talks to her. And she's like, it happened again. It got worse and yada, yada, yada. And it's more of that fucking. X-Files music and fives up.

Do do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-d-do-d-do-d-do-do-d. You hear about this one, Scully? Jocks from outer space. I think I saw that movie one time, dude. So, you know, that all happens. And the teacher... And this is what pisses Andre off the most is that the supervisor is like, you know what, Brenda?

He did a great job. Yeah. Oh, gosh, this is my thing. She waltzes in here with her perfect bangs and her fucking sexilicious brother thinking she could take over my racket in the call center. So whatever, you know, Brenda and Andrea, you know, they don't really mend here. Well, this is when they have the conversation in the hallway where Andrea starts things off by like mildly gaslighting her. Oh, totally.

Because she's like, you know, Andrea, you haven't given me a chance with the helpline. it wasn't my fault, this whole thing happened. She's like, Brenda, why would I want to put you down? Oh, and then Brenda fucking volleys back and is like, Andrea, how can you get away with being the editor of the school paper when you have such contempt for the student body? And I was like, great point. I mean, she picks up on the Zuckerman thing, I think. She knows what's going on. Yeah, maybe that's true.

In this, like the tail end of this conversation is cut off by like a bunch of, you know, grudge week celebratory whatever like comes through the hallway everybody's hoot and hollering this that and the other thing and this is dude the second of two times in this episode scott totally humiliated in public he goes up to this girl lucy who's been smiling at brandon earlier in the episode is like hi lucy and the girl totally fucking runs away and he just goes oh man i hate being a freshman actually brandon considers it being assaulted with eyes i could get you a You're a creep, you know that? A fucking creep for just looking at me?

Why don't you look somewhere else? Get you dirty brown eyes away from me, okay? So, yeah, it is kind of great that Scott gets humiliated. And, you know, that's kind of moving on. We go back to the helpline. Brenda keeps expecting body to call. She doesn't, and she forces Andre to go back afterwards. She's like, she calls after 10.

We have to be there after 10. And sure enough, she does call. And this time, this dude brought a friend. And, like, Brenda really is. And she's like, I do understand, like, the need to be, like, try and push this woman to get help. But she's like, so what high school are you go to? Oh, Grudge Week, huh?

Sounds like West Beverly High. What, what's your name? What hair color is you? What's your social security number? This is not a safe space here. I know that's a, what do you call it? a derived term, but it is, you do need that to be able to get some help. I mean, it's supposed to be anonymous.

You're supposed to call up and try to get some, and Brenda spends the rest of this episode trying to out this woman. Yeah, this is where I, you know, at the start of this episode, I was very much pro-Brenda, anti-Andria. I wound up being still very anti-Andria in this episode, but very anti-Brenda right here, especially because there is, she just eventually screams into the phone, I want to know who you are.

And I'm like, dude, antithesis of a helpline. Because again, like, you would like, if you're, the point of this episode sort of is, oh, it's cool. There's these hotlines if you're having a problem, you know, that's this very special episode part of it. But like, if everyone on the fucking other end is Colombo, I'm not going to call. Yeah, exactly. Excuse me, ma'am. What's your name before you commit suicide? Oh, yeah, so you're gay, huh?

What's your name? Tom? Oh, you're in my biology class. I'm going to tell everybody. Talk you later. Oh, what's that? You got caught jacking off. Okay, you know, I can help you with that.

Okay, first of all, take down your trousers. One more question, please. Are you a pig? Are you a little piggy that wants to be stepped on? Take out your one-eyed monster, okay? This is what they refer to me on set. Excuse me, I got to put you in hold one second. I got to go out to the smoke shop and get another cigar.

I mean, you're just, you're just filthy. You're just a filthy little maggie. You should buy me stuff. Buy me a cigar. I'm going to send you my Amazon wish list. Dude, getting indombed by Colombo. Yeah, you know, I could use him with that laundry. It's Columbus' Amazon wish list.

It's all cigars and a trench coat. All right, here's my cash M.E. So I wish I could do that. Call Columbo for phones. sex but he passed sadly sweet before we could get him hired on the sex line um so uh you know that's kind of going on brandon by the way uh goes up to nat and he's like so what's uh neat is deal and nat says the even more elliptical and creepy than the Bangkok line he goes huh all i can tell you brandon is when she worked here she was a wild child dude it's so

insane and like the start of that response really is the icing on the cake to the whole thing because Brandon's like, so what's the deal with Nina? And he just goes, Nina, sweet Nina. Like, he's holding those A's for a really long time. I mean, Brandon, you were here for the last time. I mean, back in the day, I had to wring out my pants and my shirt. They were like, I guess they were fucking. Yeah, I mean, I guess maybe it's because we all just watched Don's Plum yesterday.

Yeah. Coming soon to a side order of sleeves, by the way. it's also just the knowledge that I've never got to watch that movie again I'm elated yeah a little spring in my step uh yeah so like but he's like oh you know she's wild child boblashy toward asia and then nina comes back and she's like she's flirting with brandon she's like you know all i went to the sensory deprivation tank brandon ooh i took lSD and i came out a caveman it was really something brandon i was hanging out with my good friend bob back Aliban.

Altered States, great movie. But no, she's like, hey, you know, I have this new technique. I really want to try on somebody. It's like a whole holistic rap or something. Herbal rap. Herbal rap. Dude, she's like telling him the process for like what goes into this. And Jason Priestley is like melting on the other side of this counter.

And like hanging on this every word this woman has. She's like, first we fucking put all these essential oils on you. Then we wrap you in plastic and let it set for a while. Then we take that all off and we give you a shower while we rub in all these other soaps and nutrients. And this dude is like a cartoon wolf right now. No, now, now slower, slower. Not yet. Not yet. Okay, now.

Hey, is that Nina? Nina. That's back here. Nina. One of my favorite moments of this episode is when Brandon is getting ready for this, like, big date. and he's just pouring on James Eckos's fucking Cologne. Oh, yeah, thanks a lot. I've always wanted to smell like my father.

Heavy duty A.J. Soprano vibes going on. Yeah, definitely. Like, why would you want to smell like Jim? Especially, like, hey, this girl presumably likes you. Like, you don't want to add cologne to the situation. You like the way to smell, dude. Yeah, totally. There is a scene between that.

It's just because it's my favorite Luke Perry part of this whole episode, which is Brandon's his asses. asking Dillon's like, you ever been with an older woman? He's like, I never kiss and tell. Like, first, you definitely do. Cut the shit. Cut the shit. And he's like, you know, like, how do I approach it?

Blah, blah, blah. And then like, and we're trying to keep this. We keep both Bonnie and Lucy, the actresses, in the peripheries of the episode for a red herring situation. Yep. So Bonnie bumps into Dillon. And the line is totally, it's totally innocuous. It's just to keep her in our mind that she's going to be the woman

at the end of the episode. But, like, Luke Quarry has to say, no harm, no foul. Oh, no harm, no foul. Or, hey, no harm, no foul. But he goes, no harm, no foul. I'm like, what in the world? How do you do that?

You know what? We'll never know. We did not deserve that, man. We definitely did it. We had an angel on earth, Steve. And we let it slip through our fingers. In that scene, I just want to say, because that scene goes into the scene

where Cindy's like oh I'm working at the recycling center kind of a thing and in those two sequences Brandon's in both of them I think in one way or no or no it's not the recycling center it's Cindy cooking that dinner and Brendan Brandon's like oh I'm going to be the library

so those two scenes connect and in both of those scenes Jason Priestley is wearing this t-shirt did you get a look at this thing the back of this t-shirt has this huge fucking lemur face on it no I missed it oh my god dude second of three incredible shirts in this episode I do love, yeah, because he's like, hey mom, tomorrow morning, at 5 o'clock, I'm going to do a surfeit with Dylan, so you probably won't even see me in the morning. Oh, by the way, today I'm going to stay super late at the library. So you won't see me at night. You got to space this out, Brandon. You got to figure this shit out a little bit. Also, there's a poltergeist in my room, so do not open the door at night. I've captured him in there. I think he's good. I put a little salt circle and I did the, you know, the devil image in it. But like, just don't do it, okay?

It's a Glenn week. I don't care if you're alive or dead. What's Glenn week? Dude, it's a Glenn week. Hey, hey, Ma, you getting some nunners? That's right. Whatever. So this sort of culminates with Brandon goes to Nina's place and he's wearing this fucking, this fucking jacket and the whole thing. And he's just like, so hey Nina, how's it going?

Oh, cool. Oh, Richard's here. is, oh, oh, what? And this awesome dude, great casting on this guy. Like, he's in his mid-50s. He's balding. Looks like Dan Castanella.

He kind of does. He's like, what is he, a professor or practitioner of holistic medicine? Yeah, he was surprised, surprise, this chick's teacher, by the way. Yeah, like, with her husband and he, Brandon's like, oh, man. And, like, Richard is into it, is all I'm going to say. Absolutely, dude. Absolutely. They give him a gift.

Everyone that comes over gets a copy of this. And I would love this line. Brandon just going, oh, the Tibetan Book of the Dead. Great. Great. Great. I mean, it's a wacky ending to a sexy scenario kind of a thing. It's like, you know, kind of thing.

I take it back. It's not a Dillon episode. It's a Richard episode. He's a real win. and all this. Now what happens is Brandon has to call Brenda at the helpline to talk about his masturbation. Oh, totally.

Is it weird if I think of Nina and Richard together? Bren, I need help. No, just keep on going. Keep on going, Brand. The way his oily hair goes down his back. Okay, faster. Faster.

Now, hands off. So, meanwhile we cut to we see grudge week one more time because i think at this point um oh that's right brenda figures out who it is even though it doesn't make sense how she would like she keeps saying throughout the whole episode that she recognizes the voice well you need one and maybe it's a deleted scene she we need this scene in english class where body pipes up and is like hey uh i think it was a william shakespeare who said yada yada yada yada but that doesn't happen brenda confronts bonnie in the hall

and she's like listen you know you don't have to do this i know it's grudge week and these guys don't really respect you and like you can go you can get help but this that the other thing and bonnie is like this is exactly what i didn't want to happen when i called a fucking help plan okay yeah she is like laying into this girl in the hallway and like clearly doing more damage with all of this uh we do get right around here after that dust settles it's more like you know all of a sudden the hallways full again i love these scenes where like there's two people talking in the hallway and i guess they left class right before the bell rings

and then the bell rings at the end of the scene and all the other kids go into the hallway including David Silver talking with Steve Sanders right here I believe and there is the third great shirt of this episode David Silver wearing a t-shirt I don't know what

this reference is it's just a t-shirt that says how do you spell death and it's black and death is written in big pink letters yeah could that be the old ska hardcore band death? Oh,

oh man, yeah, from the documentary band called death? I don't know. That's a good call. I kind of seriously doubt it. I would hope not

because the colors don't match what they whole thing was. But just what a shirt to wear for the best friend of Scott. I would love that a conspiracist

like trying to like, oh look, you can tell. It's like the Abbey Road cover. Oh, yeah. It's like, oh, David's wearing this in this scene? We knew. They knew all the time.

So, sort of the end of the episode is Brenda, you know, Brenda has told this woman that, you know, this girl, you know, you can get help, yada, yada, yada, but we cut, and it's really weird because we can't, we shouldn't be able to see her perspective, what we do. It's just Bonnie waiting in the hallway for her friend. It's like, oh, hey, it's after Grudge Week,

it's after whatever event, football, basketball game has happened. and oh this was the and this sucks i wonder if this is a deleted scene because this was right after um when the hallway uh fills out right here it's steep this is where steve and david are talking to each other because it's after steve sanders has won a tug of war yes and dude i need to see i and zering participating in a fucking tug of war scene i have to see that's agree that's unfortunate especially because they won you've got the extras just do it you know what i mean Show me Grudge Week. Totally.

You can have the one extra I spotted with a fantastically messy mullet. There's the other guy I saw that looks like a human version of Roy from the Simpsons. Have Scott be on the other team so he falls down in the mud. Oh, yes.

Humiliate him more, please. Just cut Cindy's recycling center shit out of this episode and give me 10 seconds of fucking kids falling in the mud in this tug of war. Yep, exactly. Wild and crazy.

Wild and crazy. Oh, my. Omar Gooding walks out of the gymnasium. Definitely. All right, wait. Omar Gooding, Donny Jeffcoat. Oh, you'll never get it. No, you're right.

Never mind. It's two women. I'm not even, yeah, I'm not even going to try. So the. So, yeah, Bonnie is like, hey, whatever, Lisa. Are you going to walk me to my car? Like, you promise. Like, I can't.

Dan and Brad need to know how to get to Molly's house. So, bye. What a. And she's like, it'll take two seconds. I'm literally nervous and afraid. It's like, bye, talk to you later, call me later, love you, bye. Don't get murdered or anything, okay. And you do see, and in the tug of war bit, this one, this huge jock and this other jock are like, hey, Sandra, great job on that tug award.

He's like, yeah, cool. So what's going on later? He's like, oh, we've got planned. And they got to walk out. So she's walking back. The X-Files music is in full fact. I bring you peace. I bring you love

Dude I think like the one thing That was actually missing from this scene X-Files music was fine But dude how about you get a little Oh definitely Get that going on you know Or get the big fucking score from the entity Apropos

Yeah Oh wow yeah totally These two guys come up behind her And they're like hey Bonnie How's it going We party in the night or what She's like I really can't guys He's like hey man

it's this weird thing where it's like didn't you like it last night she's like not really and he's like you're gonna like it tonight whether you like it or not or whatever and she's like I cannot part of it then we're gonna have to do this stand it up and then all of a sudden what the fuck it really

it's insane you're in a high school parking lot dude like yeah like you know what I mean this SWAT team emerges and I mean like this is where the episode veers into fantasy and it's a nice fantasy wherein we find out so like the SWAT team emerged the rest of these guys and we pan up and it's Brenda Brandon

and Andrea and they're like wow Brenda how did you know this is going to happen? It's like well she always called after 10 so it had to happen on school grounds after Grudge Week etc etc and I'm like so she called the LAPD and was like look hi I'm a high school girl and my friend may or may not be getting

assaulted tonight like well we're going to dispatch 10 officers fucking yeah this whole sting operation and I mean I wish the world worked like this but I just don't see it No, it's very fan. Came in from the coast that night. Oh, that's what you should have said.

Oh, yeah, my friend is involved in a Coke deal. It's like, all right, we'll get the guys. Yeah, it's like these like five officers swarm on these guys. Guns drawn. I mean, it's fucking crazy. I expected to see John McLean there. Brenda and Andrea are like watching this unfold. And Andre's like, don't she want to go down there and say anything?

She's like, no, I don't. Which is the, that's the right move, by the way. Don't go talk to this girl. No, we don't have to go down there. They have Kavanaugh and handcuffs. Kavanaugh and Scoob or whoever the fuck. Oh, yeah, Cooter or whatever is. The guy, the main guy, the guy who says we're going to have to do this standing up.

This guy, George, the actor is the source. son of Ryan O'Neill. Oh, wow. Yeah. Hey, dad, I'm playing a rapist this week. Good job, son. You're going to make it one of these days. Maybe, probably not. Was, like, maybe I'm conflating things, but wasn't he

like, didn't he, didn't one of the sons of Ryan O'Neill have, like, crazy problems with drugs and the police? Maybe I'm... Possibly. Maybe I'm thinking of Michael Douglas, but... I mean, Ryan O'Neill himself also did, and his daughter, Tatum, O'Neill.

Neil had some problems. But, yeah, a son could have also been troubled. I don't know. He's still alive, so that's helpful. So, you know, that's kind of it. I do, yeah, I do love the line of, like, do you want to go down there and what gloat? Like, I don't know, like,

everyone's going to the police station at this point, including Brenda, if this is what's going on, like. Unless she, like, already, like, made the statement in advance of the raid or something. The raid. I mean, again, a nice world to live in for sure, but not the one we're in. in. Certainly not 1990.

No, but it's fascinating because it flips back immediately to like the regular tone of the show because it's like, do you want to go down there and talk to this victim? No, that's all right. I need to be alone right now. Cut to Donna's going to complain about not getting a nose job.

You're like, all right, things are back to normal. It's ironic because she never complains about getting those jobs when I pay for them. You know what? All right, Mr. Spell We've got six lines of Donna. Is that enough for the episode?

Can the episode go to air? Hmm, I guess so. Yes, but other characters should be saying the name Donna at least anywhere from 12 to 17 times. By the way, just in from the internet ticker, I looked up the O'Neill family. And the actor that plays this George character is Patrick O'Neill, but his brother, Redmond O'Neill, was the one that was charged with attempted murder. Oh, how about that? Wrong O'Neill I have. You name your son Red.

You're kind of asking for it a little bit. Was this dude sentenced to prison or what? Two cats of assault with a deadly weapon. This is from the Hollywood Reporter. I don't see, I mean, I'm sure, this might be an old article. I mean, he's probably gone to court by now. Interesting. But anyway.

There is a great, after the nose job line, there's another great thing because we have to wrap up Brandon telling Steve Sanders that like nothing went down with Nina and Brandon goes Steve Sanders is like

I fucking knew it Walsh you blew it man you blew it and Brandon goes nothing was blown and then there's definitely there's a pause and there is a Steve Sanders smirk right here

and I was like yep we are making blowjob jokes on Fox television absolutely no she just massaged the testicles of my thighs. So Brandon goes up to this girl,

you know, he sees Lucy staring at him again, and he goes up to her and he's like, hey, you know what, your name, you're Lucy, right? She's like, yes, I am. And he's like, you got a nice smile. And he walks away, which also, by the way, always tell women they have nice smiles. You know what?

You'd be prettier if you smiled more. You've got a gorgeous smile. But if you look at me one more fucking time, it's five across the eyes, Lucy, okay? I wanted us to know each other before it has. happens but you know what's up now uh hey take your headphones out take your fucking headphones out i'm talking to you uh but then scott goes up to lucy in her post a gl she's got this glow and he's like hi lucy's like hi scott he's like ah i didn't last five seconds and scott gets the last

line of the episode like huh pretty cool or whatever he says yeah i don't know what the signoff is but it's a scott sign off did not see that coming. Yeah, and that's like the end of this episode. It was, we did a very special, it is weird to like pair this very special with this wacky subplot to kind of keep the tone sort of neutral, I guess. I mean, to a degree, it's successful in that. Like, I think that's clearly what is going on here.

It's like, what ridiculous thing. And oh, Brandon, you know, thinks he's going to get jerked off by this woman at her, you know, holistic healing event or whatever. like, yeah, that's about the farthest, like, between that and, like, he got Steve Sanders talking about talk of war. I mean, you know, the tone winds up just being like, you're right, like, it's just a five, like completely flat, you know. And I'm sure we'll never talk about this. I'm positive, we'll never talk about this teen line again. What is Andre?

What is it, the rap line? Yeah. Teen rap line, that's right. Yeah. You got to wrap your emotional problems. going through. I'm almost positive, speaking of, saved by the bell-headed episode with a team line as well.

I think you're right. Yeah, speaking of Good Morning, Miss Bliss. This is clearly percolating around the culture at some point around this time. So, as we do every end of every episode, a go around the horn, are you excited to continue? By the way, next episode, and I'm fucking thrilled to tell all you guys, it is the beginning of Brenda and Dylan's courtship. It's fucking, it's fucking, finally.

Really? Interesting. So are you excited to continue any parting shots on this particular episode or anything you're thinking of Christopher Cabin? I mean, knowing that the next one is Dylan Heavy really helps this one go down. I think they've bit off a little too much here with the whole. It shouldn't have, I don't think it should have been rape. I think it should have been like an actual runaway. And just talk about that because it gets real fucking close towards the end.

And it's real creepy. It just, it fucks up the tone of the show, which is also about a fucking massage coming. But like, yeah, as long as we're getting some Dylan and we're going to get back to just like normal drama in high school stuff next week. Let's go. Let's do it. Eric. Yeah, I agree with everything Chris just said. So I'm not going to repeat everything.

But, yes, we are continuing. What choice do I have? That's a good thing to think about this Memorial Day. that's for sure. Andrew Jupin. Yeah, you know, it's kind of funny because a little insight into the W.HM recording sked here. We were

recording this on the Friday right before Memorial Day weekend. So like this has become a really nice Friday ritual for me. It's like I watch this in the morning. We do the show and then like then I just kind of have my Friday, which is pretty great. But boy, the peppering in

of Dylan here, I am just like sashaying into the weekend, I'm ready to go and I will say for next week like yes Steve what you said is true of course but a line from this plot summary that will tease things even further

all that's going on between Dylan and Brenda however meanwhile it says Steve Sanders meets a woman who will be speaking at an aid seminar at school which leads no no no no no no no

no shut up shut up shut up shut your pretty little lips Chris Cabin because I'm not done yet 8.7 are at school, which leads everyone into discussing condos. Finally. Yes. Yes. Finally. It's a Memorial Day miracle. Thankfully, we have seven full days to gear up for that.

Yeah, so thank you guys for, and I'm always, I'm actually really excited. I do think once the Brenda and Dylan storyline really starts is when 902 and O kind of starts in earnest and they kind of figure out what how they're doing here, which is just a teen soap opera, which is why I'm here. And yeah, exactly. And I do agree with Chris, like, even, like, some of the descriptions this woman is giving on the teen line, it's just, it goes too far for what the episodes. And again, like, teen rape is a real thing and yada, yada, yada.

And it's really important to talk about it and how to say no and it's okay. But there's better ways to do it in this cheesy episode. So, yeah. So anyway, with that, that is the end of our broadcast, or at the beginning of our broadcast week, I should say. We've got a ton of great stuff coming up. We've got an episode tomorrow on the main feed. We're continuing going pirate crazy.

We're going to Pirates of the Caribbean on Stranger Tides with special guest, Jordane Searles of Bitch Media and The Bad Romance Pod. She was awesome on this episode. We already recorded it where we had a blast. We've got on, what's coming up on this week on the Patreon feed, ladies and gentlemen? This Wednesday on the Patreon, we are getting an animation damnation on That's Right. The Jetsons featuring A Giant Woman

And at some point I think later this week Or probably over the weekend We're going to be releasing Don's Plum Because May is almost over somehow That was a side of our sleeves We were recorded last week It's kind of insane

That movie steer clear of it But listen to our conversation There you go It's easy to steer clear of it too So that's Melro 210 For this week Thank you for sticking around Thanks for checking out our Patreon

To patreon.com slash we hate movies. And thanks for just being a fan. And happy a memorial. Oh, please. Yeah, tell your friends, too. You know, this is a perfect time because everyone's looking for content during quarantine and especially, you know, essential workers. Or if you're just working from home and that can be a slog, you know, tell your friends about the show. Ooh, and I will also ask to rate and review the pod. And also, if you're rate and reviewing now to see what's going on, let us know what you think about Melro 2 and O. We'll see how we're going to continue this, whether we're going to continue this, assuming we have

have that choice. Good caveat. That is, that's Melrose 2 and O for Monday. See you this week. Oh, and also Thursday. We're going to Melrose Place. I have been Steven Sadek. Andrew Jupin. Eric Siska. Chris Cabin. Take it easy and remain indoors.

We're going to be able to be. That was a hate gum podcast.