We Hate Movies - MELR0210 #23 - 90210 "B.Y.O.B."

Episode Date: June 8, 2020

We kick off this week's MELR0210 episodes with a chat about the Beverly Hills, 90210 'sode, "B.Y.O.B."! Originally airing January 10th, 1991, this episode features Brandon and Brenda throwing a raging party, Steve Sanders being a creep bartender, Jim and Cindy getting hit on by a gross couple, Dylan offering some sage advice, Donna dancing with Other Guy, Kelly making some bad booze-fueled decisions, Scott and David trying to sneak into the Walsh Rager, and a pretty decently executed lesson about drunk driving! PLUS: Apologies in advance for "Little Brandon." WHM is donating 100% of our 2020 merch income to causes fighting for racial justice. For more information on how you can pitch in, head over to our website. MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this more-than-necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. Hello and welcome to another edition of Melro 210, a we hate movie's side show. It's a quarantine side show where we're rowdy about shit. No, it's a quarantine side show wherein we look at an episode of Beverly L's 902 and O on Monday, an episode

of Milrose Place on Thursday. We kind of have fun with them, and it's just a fun little trifle of entertainment, which we all might need these days. Speaking of, I want to just quickly point out if you've ever wanted to use our merch store

but didn't want to give us money, which is a complaint I always hear. It's like I don't want to give, I like the shirts. I just don't want to give those fuckers any money, which I don't want to line those pigs pockets. The amount of emails we get like that. It's brutal. We, from now until the end of the year, we are going to be donating, we're going to be donating any and all proceeds from our T-Public merch store to Act Blue. They have a cool split where you can do a bunch of different charities at once. So these are all orgs that are fighting against racism and police brutality

stuff like Black Lives Matter Campaign Zero, Unicorn Riot and the Advancement Project, and a ton more so it's all going to go there going forward throughout the rest of the year. Just, you know, just let you know. So if you want to check that out, we do have a lot of fun t-shirts there and, you know, from

some show references, just our logo which people like all by the great Philippe Sobrero. The Monkey Brains Pizza. Monkey, thank you. Or monkey meat. I don't know if it's monkey brain specifically. No, it's monkey pizza. Yeah, I mean, there's a ton of fun T-shirt ideas. You can get masks, I think, now even.

Like, there's a lot of... You can get masks. The thing I do appreciate about the mask, by the way, I thought it was a little go-shed first, but T-Public is donating a large portion of every mask sale to COVID relief. Oh, cool. Yeah, so it's not it's not as gauche as I initially thought it was, yeah.

That's good, yeah. But I mean, like, all sorts of different, there's like, baby one-season crazy shit, too. So you You could do a ton of cool ways to, A, support the show by, like, putting our logos out to be, more importantly, supporting these awesome charities. So go to WHMpodcast.com and click that merch, uh, that merch button. And also, we're going to have a call out to this act blue link on our website as well. So if you want to just go directly there and skip the whole merch point and just give them cash, you should. So yeah, that's what we're doing. I should introduce my good friends, which I should have done way before all this.

Sure. These disembodied voices you're hearing. My name is Stephen Sadek. I am joined, as always, with Chris Cabin. Oh, hoi, hoi. Andrew Jupin. You! And Eric Siska is on assignment, but he'll be back on Thursday, I promise.

I promise. So, yeah, we are talking about, but we're talking to Beverly Hills. No. 2 and O'O. here. We will remain indoors and put on our sunscreen, don't we or not? I know I do. So this episode is called B-Y-O-B, original air date January the 10th, 1991. and yeah, B, Y, but you know what, no one Bs any B and no one drinks any B in this episode. Well, I think it's, so it's a play on stuff, right?

Okay. I think it's bring your own Brandon. Oh, I see. Or bring your own Brenda. Oh, I thought it was beat your own Brendan and I was really, really happy because I thought he was going to get his ass kicked. Yeah, you would love sitting around beating your little Brandon, wouldn't you, Kevin? My little Brandon, absolutely. Oh, please, let's not call them little Brandons.

did Steve, you don't want to talk about your little Brandon? No, I do not want to talk about my little Brandon. Yeah, I like this episode. I will say off the bat because it's another on-point messaging for Melrose, or from 902.0. Yes, actually, yeah, this is a very special episode, obviously, but it's actually, it does it really well, and it kind of folds in a nice message,

especially for kids who are out there maybe thinking about, drinking or driving probably shouldn't do that kind of a thing right uh yes this episode is uh and again it's it's a very like the whole cast is here everyone's got little somethings to do kind of a thing it was so well balanced in this episode that it felt weird right i was like oh wow wait a second everyone's got something to do and it's not just like you know scott walking by and like farting in the hallway although i mean he is the closest to just walking by and farting in the hallway but he's not doing much he but he is like the most sensible one though like he's trying to tell david like dude hold it back just a little bit yeah

and then he's like no fuck it i'm gonna declare my love over the radio for you oh that's a douche chill moment that closes out this episode i loved it and there is no real i mean it's just all i mean there is a b-plot but it kind of intercuts the uh the main plot is the kids get into the drunken and the b-plot is jim and cindy are almost uh almost have a four-way with uh some people on a on a in a resort in Palm Springs. Which I got to tell you, man, talk about an area or a storyline that needed a few more minutes of my time.

Yeah, I kind of want a bit more of that. Do the fool about Schmidt. Come on. Oh, my God. Get to it. I just mean, like, if this wound up being, you know, if you could carry this into a two-part episode so that you see more of what they're doing

at this resort and all of that shit, all you would need to do for the A plot, for the kid's side of things, is just extend the party scene a little bit. And it's like drunken shenanigans Steve Sanders is being a fucking almost date rapist

A villain I would say Oh of course He's the villain of the fucking show And nemesis You know maybe as the show goes on That changes But for right now That fucking curly-haired son of a bitch

Is a Villain He is a total villain this episode And we gotta talk It's so sticky and weird Whatever happens between him and Kelly Like I don't know Do you mean that like literally Or figuratively actually

Oh, for once. Yes. Just either hang a hat on what happened. You know what I mean? Because it's kind of weird, this sort of... So anyway, whatever. We start with... It's the gang.

We're hanging out in high school at West Beverly High. And is it... Does Donna have the first line of this episode? It's like, party line. Nope. I thought she did, doesn't she? Aren't they talking about the cars or dixing before that? Oh, that's right.

It's first... It's Brendan Kelly are walking, and they're like, oh, why do guys love cars so much? And it's like, well, it's like their fucking dick, dude. It's a little pandits. Look, guys, everybody else is saying it. We have to say it, too, okay? It's in 1990s. Literally every piece of media has to say something about cars and dicks.

So we're going to do it too, okay? We've got to get it over with. Get it over with. Did anybody notice at the start of this? Because we're in the land of fucking fake music here. The start, we, whoever this person is who's responsible for taking out the music tracks and dumping in garbage fake music

has been on a real fucking guitar lick kick Yeah About two episodes The start of this I just have to say Sounds like they're They're like coming really close To ripping off Motley Cruz hot for teacher

What? Like big time One of these songs in the party I swear I heard a limp biscuit No way there's no way I'm not telling you I heard it Well here's the deal cabin Here's what I've been doing When these fake songs come on

if it's an extended period of time that the song can play without other diagetic noise happening over it, I will Shazam the song on the television to see if it's a real song. And Shazam's the best way to confirm when this is fake music

because you can have it be like as produced as you want sounding if it's not like a real song from an artist that has a CD, like it's not fucking coming up on Shazam. I mean, it could very easily have been rimp-dism. It sounded a lot like Fred Durst was doing the vocals.

Rip Disket. Fred, we're going to have to take that again. You said the name of your band wrong. Okay. Lip biscuit. There it is. He's a genius. I do think I will give this guy credit whoever the guy is swapping out the music because

the dance, a lot of stuff at the party, at least for the first time in this show's fake history sounds like 90s music. You know what I mean? It's like 90s R&B that you'd be bopped to kind of a thing. Absolutely. You know, aka background music and cool as ice or something like that. But what if Donna was having a party? You know, it's high time Donna entertains some of her friends from school.

Something I was thinking about, fellas, you know, just spitball in here. Maybe. What happens if Donna had less clothes? What else if my daughter had less clothes on television? Don't you think that boys would love? I kind of feel like what would happen back in the day, at least in this first season, Aaron Spelling would get the script, and he'd have like an orange pencil, an orange meant, these are going to be Donna lines.

Oh, sorry, it's not going to be a party at Kelly's house. They're going to Donnas. Oh, man, I bet you're right. Oh, fuck, old man spelling just gave me his new notes. I have to make all Dylan's fucking lines, Donna's lines now. Well, I already gave you a head start. Both of their names start with Dee, motherfax. fucker, get to it. Thank you, Aaron.

Thank you. There is a fucking abhorrently disgusting line in this scene. I couldn't even believe it. So they're, you know, they're talking about they're going to have this party at Donna's house or whatever. And Kelly's like, oh, Brenda, you should bring Dylan. Oh, yeah.

Oh, Dylan come to the party. Yeah, blah, blah, blah. And somewhere in there, Kelly Taylor just goes, just make sure you change the sheets in the guest house. And I was like, oh, man. flinging webs, dude. He's going to take out and show her his little Brandon. But the craziest part, though,

is I was like, wait a minute. Are you changing the sheets before or after? That's a great question. Well, you know what mom musk on your fucking sheets when you're having sex with your high school boyfriend,

do you? That's true. Yeah, you probably don't. I want to smell like Donna's mom. And take those sheets with you when you leave. Definitely. After that, you know,

hot three minutes of action. But she does say later on that it was like, 15 minutes of fun lifetime of regret or something like that that's what that's what sorry Kelly says about fucking Steve Sanders at Donna's party

Jesus so everyone's go to this party or they want to go to this party but she's like I don't know I'm going to have to get my brother to drive me I also love Dylan doesn't want to go to the party because he's too fucking cool he's just like I don't really do parties brim

I'm better one on one and I was like God damn it this guy is awesome and also introduces this element that happens that's throughout this at least the early part of the series

when Dylan is this kind of a character I'm actually I can't do it this weekend Bryn going surfing in Baja and he always does this shit where it's like going to Baja

and I'm like what is this fucking broke back mountain fishing trip you're going on Oh really so he uses this excuse a lot nobody's allowed to go with him he just goes to Baja

that's all I'm saying now I'm curious because you know, as we learn at the end of this episode, spoiler alert, Dylan also doesn't like parties because Dylan's an alcoholic and Dylan is going to a high school AA meeting, I guess. We'll get to that when we get to that.

This is very weird thing. Yes, it is. It's also weird because last week, this wasn't his character. You know what I mean? Literally last week, he's drinking and I mean, like maybe he was you know, breaking sobriety, which, you know, that obviously can happen.

But it's never referenced there. You know what I mean? just seems like he's a guy that drinks or a teenager that drinks. Oh, I can explain that. What happened is we gave Donna's lines to Dylan in the last episode. Donna was drinking. She is a drinker. I'm not going to knock them for that because you don't start a television show

knowing every facet of your characters that you're developing. Oh, sure. It doesn't happen. But my point I was trying to make was maybe it's a thing where he's saying that to her because he really just doesn't want to be around. Oh, gotcha. So anytime he's, oh, yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to Baja. Because, like, he's kind of down at first, because she's, like, talking about just hanging out. And he's like, oh, yeah, okay, that sounds great. And then she's like, Donna's having a party.

And he's like, ah, maybe I'm going to Baja. It's only when he thinks he's going to Poundown, that he really, really thinks that it's a fun idea. I would love if they cut, like, it's Donna's party. And then she's, like, Brenda says some line, like, you know, I just wish Dylan was here. but you know, I hope he's enjoying his surfing trip to Baja and you just cut to the hotel and it's fucking Luke Perry just playing Sega Genesis throwing like cards into a hat Yes

No, but I think the move is We have to chart this as we go through this entire series Which we certainly will Is every time I think it's every time they're hanging out with Donna He's like, ooh, got to go to Baja It's like, hey, we're going to go to this party Sounds cool, who's going to be there

Kelly, Steve, cool, cool, David Silver. Yeah, Scott. Okay. Donna. Ooh, I got to go to Baja, babe. Oh, man. Yes.

Let us keep this up. How much is Dylan trying to avoid Donna on this show? I have to know now. So, I mean, they wind up. Brenda needs Brandon a driver. And I don't even know what Brandon's deal is supposed to be in this episode. Like, you just said it Chris, like throwing cards into a hat. He's just, it's Friday night.

He's a high school kid. And he's just throwing a basketball. around in his bed. And she's like, oh, let's go to this cool party where our friends are going to be. He's like, no, Bran can't make it happen. I'm like, why? What else are you doing today? Well, you also don't really understand entirely what his deal with alcohol is. Yes. Because, like, he's very adamant when they get to this party about like, no, Steve, I'm the D.D. I'm not drinking, blah, blah, blah. And the end of the episode, Cindy makes some reference about like, well, Brandon, you've always hated drinking ever since the whatever the fuck at Lake

whatever. And I'm like, so what was that whole thing about? It was a real white wine spritzer, spritzer, spritzer thing, whatever that. Like that, it was some lame thing and he got way overworked about it. I could just smell it on him. So you're saying you think it's a thing where like Jim or Cindy was wasted and he was uncomfortable with it versus like he like snuck some wine coolers at the lake and got fucked up? I think he had a sip of white wine spitzer and then did something stupid that everybody else forgets. Well, she says even, oh, every time, ever since you threw up

at like whatever. Right. Yeah, the puking is mentioned. Okay. So then he maybe drank a whole white wine spurs. So, uh, and she's like, come on Brandon, it'll be your best friend, blah, blah, blah, blah. And the grossest, again, it's her in his bed. And she starts, like, kissing his cheek like a thousand times. And it's

like, why? What? Why? Well, because you know what, man? Like, they're twins and she's just kissing her cheek. I guess so, man I don't know It's weird Don't get me wrong

It's just like I see my sisters now And I give them like Kiss hello Kiss goodbye That's kind of where we're at You know what I mean In high school

We were not kissing Cousin twin sister Whatever I mean Last episode I wasn't on it But I did watch Most of it by accident

And nearly gave myself A heart attack But you saw Brenda just again Waltzing in Mid-shower mind you to what she thought was Brandon. Right.

And it's Dylan. Oh, right. When she was looking at Dylan's little Brandon. Yeah, she's his little B. He's like, Little B, little B. Oh, man. Meanwhile, Jim, Jim Walsh is polishing his little

his little Brandon. Dude, he's ready to, he's planning on having sex next weekend, which I love. Dude, I got to tell you right now, you can kind of, it's fun with television shows where you can pinpoint things that characters are doing off-screen,

but you definitely know that they did them because you know the character. I'm telling you right now, the second it was like, oh, Jim, yeah, we're having the big fucking annual accountants conference and where are they? Palm Springs. Yeah, Palm Springs at that big resort we were talking about.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can bring the misses. It'll be great. It's a four-day thing. He immediately fucking shaved his balls. He fucking trimmed up down there. Dude, there was some serious housekeeping of foot. I got to say, looking at this guy's chest, shaving those balls must take an hour and a half.

Absolutely, dude. It looks like a fucking dead dog down there afterwards. Does that fucking pile of fluff on the towel? Cindy, could you bring the weed whacker in? It's time. You know what it is? You know what it is? You remember it was, I think it was the pilot.

They used it for, I believe, the intro of the show later on or something. But the pilot of the show, Malcolm in the middle, had the gag where Jane Casmerer, is shaving Brian Cranston in the kitchen. And it's all falling under the newspaper. Like, that's what's going on in the Walsh house. It's like, well, Cindy, I'm trimming my balls again. A pile of hair. Malcolm in the middle, it was a little sexual too

because Brian Cranston's doing a little dance while he's getting shaved. Well, I think what that is, because he's in the middle of the kitchen dude in that scene. I feel like he's trying to distract himself from getting an erection in front of his children. That makes a good deal of sense. I also think that for sure, Jim,

Jim Walsh is buying a fedora. It's the right age for it. He's going through some stuff. Glenn is just a couple weeks past. Yeah, he still is having an occasional dream about Glenn here and there, waking up with his fists clenched. So they're excited. He's like, oh, you know, there's just something about being at a hotel and blah, blah, blah.

And it just, and he goes, it really turns me on. But you know what he's, it's kind of great because what he specifies turns him on in this instance is staying in a hotel room where they put chocolate mints on your pillow and there's do not disturb signs so I was like okay Jim you can apparently get horny at the four seasons

or out of fucking days in doesn't matter I just had this image of him like starting to beat off to that the TV channel where they describe all the services you get oh we'll have new towels

oh god no Cindy leave it on well you know those channels always come with the most essential of elevator music songs it's very true yes it's like a sauna

so uh they're really excited they're going to go next weekend they're going to go so tonight we go Brandon takes Brenda to this party question about Donna's house right here Donna

does Donna live in an old castle I don't know what is this fucking Count Ducula house you lives in That's a great question. I think it's the same house from Valentine that had the moat. Oh, are you kidding? I mean, maybe, but like that's the kind of feeling it definitely gave me.

You're right, though. It looks like it's a fucking house from a horror movie. Hold on, everybody. I just got to drop the bridge. Hold on. There we go. I will tell you, one person who I wish said I'll be right back in this episode is fucking Steve Sanders.

Absolutely, dude. We get there. And I mean, it is interesting because we've never seen them at a, Well, no, in the first episode, they're at that party, they probably was drinking there, but it's just interesting to watch all of these kids drinking. You know what I mean? Like, Kelly's got booze, Steve's got booze,

Steve's got booze, Donna's got boo. I feel like it was in the pilot, like, less glorified than it is. Like, I don't think in the pilot they were all necessarily holding, like, red solo cups, but it was more just, like, anonymous drinking in that way. As far as, like, what they were drinking and shit, too. Like, in this, you know, Steve is very much like, I'm making margaritas, specifically. mango margaritas. Fuck you, Steve

Sanders. You fucking blonde be-mulleted weirdo. That's a mix, I assume. Are mango mixes, like, a fad at the time? I mean, there's always been, like, you know, multiple flavors for margaritas and stuff.

You don't really see, I mean, there's a huge bottle of what, you know, looks like fucking quontro or something like that, you know? That was the only, like, liquor bottle that you see him using, and then everything else is like he's just got the blender going and it's orange, but then there's also

like lime margaritas floating around some people have. I kind of want to see Steve Sanders in his fucking weird spaceship house and, you know, he's making a margarita and then there's a couple of hippies outside of his house. Get that shitbox

off my street! He would be that fucking rich L.A. person to fucking yell at somebody at the end of a cul-de-sac. Absolutely. So whatever. Brandon's like, hey man, no margarita for me, I don't drink. And like, that's totally cool. You know what I mean?

That's where it ends. I mean, if you're not a monster, that's where it ends. Like, you know, I started drinking when I was like 17, but like I went to a lot of parties where I didn't drink. I'm going to smoke a pot. But like, you know what I mean? I would, people would offer me beer and I'd be like, no, man, I'm cool, you know. Right.

And I mean, Cabin and I, I think both were fortunate enough that we ran in such a circle where if you were at a party and it was like, nah, I don't. want any. There wasn't what happens to Brandon here. Yeah. I mean, I'm not saying like peer pressure isn't real. Oh, for sure. Yeah. We just lucked out in the sense that it was like, either like, nah, I'm driving, or like,

nah, I don't want any. And that was the fucking end of the discussion. We never had a fucking Steve Sanders making fun of us kind of a thing. And the guys who did do it were a little bit more clever about it. They were trying to make a joke out of it and like trying to play around with you a bit. But like, Steve Sanders, like, holy fuck, you don't

drink. You're pussy. And there's this other guy hanging out with Donna. We got to talk about this guy. What the fuck? Paul Ben Shapiro. Oh, God. Ben Shapiro with the Bain serum. I don't think I've ever seen that little turd not behind that fake desk of his.

Oh, no, he's like three and a half feet tall. Yeah, he's not. Is he really? Yeah, he's a mouse. God, it just makes it all make even more sense. Yeah, this guy is accredited as Drew, by the way. he's just hanging out with Donna like it seems like they're flirting

but he's also like a buddy of Steve's I guess I don't know what's going I thought here's the thing I had not seen this episode obviously I didn't the funny thing is if you read the plot summary in IMDB the first thing it mentions is all the swinging so that's where I stopped

just as far as the the Jim and Cindy storyline so it doesn't mention any of this so when I see where the wind is blowing as far as like Steve Sanders you know, pushing Brandon to drink and everything. I was like, oh, here's this other guy that they are kind of making a temporary character.

Yes. And this motherfucker is going to get killed in a drunk driving accident. Oh, yeah. That's where I was like, here's this expendable glorified extra who like, yeah, sure, you get to hang next to Donna in this episode.

Like, isn't that fun? You get to stand next to Donna before we run you into a fucking truck. You know, and I thought that dude was, because like he has given so much exposure in this episode. At least in this part. I don't think he's in the... That's right. He's in the car at the end there too

actually. Because he goes... Yeah, he goes to both parties. Yes. And he's just like, oh man, that Walsh is a real... He calls him a... I wrote it down because it was so bizarre to me. A buzz... Wait, wait, wait. Now hang on. Before you finish it, just... Let's clarify. None of us know what

this expression means and if it's a slur, we apologize. No, I mean, it's... I think it's he's, he's such a, it's a, oh fuck, I thought I wrote it down. It was like a, oh, Buzz Crusher. Oh, Buzz Crusher. Okay. I mean, yeah, it's, uh, kill my vibe.

Yeah, well, no, yeah, but it's a, but it's a, I, I have always heard that it's Buzz Kill, Buzz Crusher. Yeah, totally. It's like, did Larry Cohen fucking license Buzz Kill also? Yeah, right. I got another one, baby. Pay up, motherfucker. Oh, no, Beverly's uncle Buzz is here, Buzz, buzzer.

I think I would hope at least than the 24th century calling someone buzz was outlawed. I think Steve Sanders needs this guy around because whenever he talks about how like, you know, George Wallace got a raw deal. Everybody else turns around and walks away.

Everyone else 12 angry men Steve on a regular basis. But so yeah, it's a guy's like, oh, he's a real buzz crusher, man. That sucks. He's like, no, don't worry about it. Hey, Brandon, I'll make you a virgin margarita. And he spikes it like a fucking dickhead.

Here's the thing. If any of you guys ever did this to me, we're no longer friends. Absolutely. It's totally shitty. Like, you don't do this to people. Also, like, I know enough about Steve Sanders, at least season one, Steve Sanders. It's a real, if I drop my drink on the, if I put my drink down, I'm not picking it back up. Also, I'm not taking anything that man prepared for me one way or another.

Unless I'm watching his fucking busy little fingers make that entire cocktail. I don't even know, even with that, I mean, he's hit Monster Bingo already. This is one stamp too many. Like, I didn't need this one. So he goes up to Brandon, and even Brandon, even Brandon's like, hey man, that's a virgin one, right? He's like, yeah, sure, don't worry about it. Like, that's even one more step too farther. So he starts drinking it, whatever.

I'm sorry, though. the way that he says it and oh fuck it was because he says to like he's trying to confirm that it's a virgin oh here's what it is he gives him one it's spiked right yeah when he gives him the

second one Steve he says to him like oh hey Steve this is from the virgin pitcher right and all that Steve responds with is it's the same as the last one I gave you yeah and that that

that reaction that he gives right there and then other guy is kind of like the salacious crumb like if that happened like in an exchange with me I'd be like oh so you spiked the last one and you spiked this one okay got it you're a fucking scumbag

Brandon relax I just slipped you a Mickey come on it's like Mickey Mouse right Brandon he's not a bad guy come on and drive drunk so he does he does actually call Steve out he's like what the hell does that

me and he's like just spiked my drink right he's like yeah come on relax brandon it's a party it was just a stupid joke he gets into like sensitive steve here's like i'm really sorry brandon it's like fuck off that's how you know this dude is a fucking sociopath man the way he turns that shit on and off like that it's bone jilling uh and everyone is like staring at brandon and he's like uh you know all right fine i'm having marguerite it's pretty good and he drinks it you know so now he's just drinking at a party which happens uh he also starts dancing with And I'll steal a peep show joke here with, I can only describe this woman dressed as a millionaire

madwoman. Yes, that's correct. This lady. A fucking David Lynch person. I don't understand. She's in a high school party wearing fucking shoulder-length gloves. It's, I mean, I don't know what this, like, actual outfit is. It's kind of like, in, remember the Missy Elliott video when she had the air in the suit?

It was, like, all puffed up? Like, she's kind of wearing, like, an off-white, like, an off-white, like, bluish kind of version of that. It's just bizarre. I don't know what's going. And she's never heard from again. You don't even like, you don't hear Brandon talking to her at all.

No, yeah. Did everybody hear her name, though? Oh, no. This Harry Potter-ass name. Oh, yes. Oh, what was it, Kevin? You're totally right. Fina Ferris.

Yes. The new defense against the dark arts teacher. Totally, dude. She's fucking Luna Lovegood's aunt. So this character comes to nothing. But it's just, I couldn't get over these gloves at this party. With all the dancing, by the way, I'm sorry, but with all the dancing, I got to call this dumb shit out. I'm fucking dumb detailed, dude, so I got to cut in when I can.

There's, like, there's other dancing going on at the party right around here, including Dana, dancing with other guy. Yes. And then I don't know if there was, like, some communication with the background actors or what, but, like, it's, it's Tori Spelling and this dude, like, doing some shitty dancing in the middle of the frame. This crazy, be mulleted extra walks, like, right in front of the camera. and I'm like, dude, were you supposed to be there? Yes, I remember. It stops everything dead.

It does. Oh, thank you. I thought I was crazy. Like, cut, get that fucking guy out of my shot. Whoever you are, dude, like, what are you doing there? Look, okay, my cousin Eli had to come in. He wanted a spot. He loves the show. Come on, guys. What if Eli walked in front of the camera? Not Eli?

He insists out keeping the bullet. It's okay. It's okay. I don't know, Luke Perry. I personally think Eli is sexier than Luke Perry, personally. I can see it now. Eli Spelling on Marquise around Broadway. Meanwhile, this is the thing we're talking about. So, like, I think Brandon and Brenda are having a good time.

And, you know, he's like, hey, you know what? This drink's pretty good. I'm having a good time. And, like, Stephen Kelly are, like, dancing a little bit. I thought they broke up. And she's like, and Brenda says something like, oh, you know, they are and they aren't, and then they wind up going up to the bedroom.

And, like, she is shown to be pretty drunk. You know what I mean? Like, she's, like, kind of falling a little bit. But it never, it's never presented as date rape. It's presented as a thing that, like, she did the she regrets. It's just kind of weird. It is, it's very weird. And they, like, it's not right.

I'm not saying it's right. They cover themselves by making him also drunk. And by 1991 television standards, like, that was fine. Yeah, in the clear, boys. Exactly, yeah. And they also kind of cover themselves by like her never, like only treating it like,

oh, what a sleesoid in that, you know, in that like weird, vague 90s way. But she's also like taking some of the blame for that. Yeah. She's definitely just, that's when she has that line about like 15 minutes of fun for a lifetime of regret or whatever. And then like, it's also kind of odd though

because part of me is like, like, oh, is this like the character, like, parroting her mother kind of thing? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I feel like that lady's probably got some stories. Well, yeah. Similarly, do you know what I mean? I mean, Kelly, we've gotten a good amount of story here. And, like, I can see the complicated nature of her. Like, she's got a lot of shit going on. Steve Sanders at this point, if by the end of this season, he doesn't either, A, cure cancer or B, make dogs live forever. I'm not going to be able to carry all this as a good guy

as a guy I'm supposed to be following. I just can't do it. What are you talking about? There's certain things come to light about Steve that give him sympathy but I agree with you. It's not enough. And we'll get there.

I believe that happens this season. So whatever, they hook up. Brendan and Brenda, Brandon and Brenda go home. Drive home, by the way. Congratulations, guys. And they kind of pull in. They're not drunk.

They're just kind of tips. and here's the move and they're like oh man let's straighten up mom's definitely reading that book she's always reading when she's waiting up for us and Brandon has the right move he just goes she's like oh how is the party and he's like

um zone I'm gonna hit the sack goes right up to bed you need to keep six feet of distance guys it's social distancing for pretending you're not drunk in front of your parents you cannot get close absolutely but it's for everything like that have you been out smoking cigarettes oh go into bed have you been smoking

weed? Whop, go into bed. Cigarettes and weed, you need a, it's more than six feet. There's a bit of a cloud around you. You need to be, you know, a little bit more precautious, but we have a lot of, you know, young listeners that do need to know this stuff. Exactly, no, and I'm just saying, you don't want to do young listeners what

an Andrew your age once did, which was come home super stoned, and I think I've told the story in the air before, and seeing your father, like, sitting watching TV and having the thought, oh, you know what, if I just went to bed. He's going to think I'm

stoned. So I'm going to sit down and watch this John Wayne movie with him and pretend like everything's cool and you cut to me 10 minutes later like, hey dad, so what's McHugh doing right here? This stage coach?

You know, also you know, it does not assist you in your charade that your father is a 30 years on the job narcotics officer. Yeah, he knew it was up. Oh. absolutely but so brenda makes the mistake she's like all right good night mom and she gives her like a kiss on

the cheek and it's like yep that's and she's immediately knows cindy goes upstairs and she's like gym brenda had alcohol on her breath dude i love i love her gym right here because it's like like at casas has fallen asleep to the television being on and she stares it's like i don't know carol potter just gives this fucking uh delivery of this which is hilarious she like stares at him like almost as if she's trying to wake him up by staring through his soul. And when that doesn't work, she just goes, Jim? Like, louder than she should, knowing she's trying to wake him up. Oh, it's great.

And he's, like, semi-hard, because he's thinking about the hotel ironing board that he gets to look at later. Oh, my God, 24-hour room service. Just count off how many hangers there are to me. Slowly? Do it slowly, please. I got to be honest, Jim, I'm with you. I miss hotels quite a bit. I miss them so bad.

I miss them. being on the road. I miss entertaining people. I miss a whole lot of stuff. I miss pillow mints. So he's like oh, we'll talk about it in the morning. The next day they could front Brenda right before they're going to some tennis match or what the fuck

they're going to do. With matching sweaters, you fucking losers. And she's just like, you know, I had a sip of a drink, you know, sorry. And it's kind of amazing how Brenda gets away with this shit. She's like, sorry, and like walks away. And it's like, not in my house, man.

She definitely uses the one lousy sip. Yes. And then they bring in Brandon and they're like, was Brenda drinking last night? And he's like, yeah, maybe she had a drink, but, you know, it's totally fun and cool. And my favorite part is Jim Walsh goes up to him and he's like, this bit of itizes the brand, what Jim and Cindy think about Brandon and Brenda. Because he goes up to him and he's like, well, we're going to be going away next weekend. We want you to keep better tabs on your sister. I'm like you hate this girl and Brandon fucking walks on water.

Hey Brandon, we don't feel like being parents like at all. Could you do it for us, please? You're the good one. And Brenda sees him and she's like, you owe me one because, you know, I didn't rat you out, blah, blah, blah. Even though he totally knocked on her a little bit more than he should have. Of course. Well, it's a bummer because the move for him, it's, see, I don't know. He's stuck between a rock and a hard place.

If he says to them, I don't know, like, you know, I can't possibly keep track of her all night. That's the move. No, but it's not, though, because they can use that against them. Be like, what do you mean you weren't looking at your sister? What's the matter with you? Dude, if Brandon fucking says the sky is red, they're like, oh, it's a red sky. Oh, Brandon said so. Yeah, I guess you're right there.

He does have them wrapped around his fucking finger. His tiny finger. So they're going to go away. They do wind up just going away. And Brenda is like, hey, guys, to Donne and Kelly. No, she actually just kind of lets it slip like, oh, you know, my parents are going out of town this weekend and it was like, party line.

Yep. And this is like, man, I'm proud to say I never had a party at my house when my parents went out of town, which also frankly did not happen that often. But like, the whole notion of like, well, you have to do this now, Brenda. Like, is so fucking shitty

the way that they're like, well, I mean, if your parents aren't going to be there and it's a house with four walls and a fucking roof, then it's party time, Brenda. Just assume that they're going to be drinking and smoking weed. It just matters how many people are with them. Exactly. I think Brenda wants to be like,

yo, we'll rent some cool movies, smoke some pot, and just chill. You know, get Steve Sanders here, I guess. I don't know. Who do you think that Brenda would rather have at the party? Steve Sanders or David Silver? Does she know who David's? Silver is. Probably not, but I guess at this point in the show, I'd guess she'd rather

Steve Sanders, because David Silver is still a icky freshman. Meanwhile, and she didn't hear everything about with the basketball episode. Yeah, she doesn't have all the information necessary to make a decision. David Silver and Scott are just like creeping around because they wanted to go to the last party, but that they didn't.

And then like, they overhear that they're having this party and Scott, David's goes to Scott, like, we have to go to this party, man. we're going to crash kind of a thing. And it's a fun little freshman subplot kind of a thing. And also that's, if they did my idea of making this a two-parter so I can see more of Jim and Cindy getting a gang fuck on at this resort later,

you could also then beef up this other thing. I would love to see like the planning shenanigans of David and Scott trying to like, oh man, what's the best way to get into this party, Scott? We got to use the school's technology lab computer to do some sort of computery thing. Like, I would love all that. Like, nerds plotting to get into a part. It's one of the funnier parts of Can Hardly Wade, the nerds trying to break into the party and all that shit.

Which is not something I ever did in high school. I was always the guy. Everyone's like, oh, let's go do this, go do that. And I'm like, I don't know, guys, streetfighter's not going to play itself. I mean, what are we? I got a lot of work to do on this street fighter circuit. We've only watched Days and Confused 79 times.

Maybe 80 will be the break of point. So, you know, kind of whatever. we got to um dylan is let's just cut to the party fuck it uh but although uh we do go to palm springs with jim and cindy yeah we got to cover them once they get to this room because it is it's really something i mean is fully hard yes and he dude this guy's had a boner since fuck they pulled into the parking lot and i mean he's like when he they get up there he is two minutes from saying cindy you get ready for two minutes of missionary bliss oh man you don't think jim uh Jim Walsh is a, hey, Cindy, I didn't take it out for air kind of guy?

No, he doesn't strike me as such. He's not a romantic in that way, Chris Gavin. He doesn't seem like a dom to me, I'll be honest with you. Well, there is the great, so he, Cindy, it's a hotel. We're supposed to do piss play. That's the point. That's the great thing. You don't have to worry about it.

It's not our bed, Cindy. Cindy, you didn't bring any ropes. You didn't bring the sex swing. You didn't bring the lube. I don't know what you were thinking. there is a great like he runs into this he jumps out of this bed like he's fucking

Kevin McAllis yes it's so funny and she's like oh how's the bed and he's like well why don't you come here and fucking try it out yourself and she gets into bed and then dude there is this straight fucking open mouth kissing yes in this scene loved it and then she gets up

she's super horny about Hotel Ocuchama as well because she gets out of bed and he's like whoa whoa where you going what about my boner and she's like like, no, Jim, the do not disturb sign and, like, runs to put it on the fucking door. No, no, no, Jim, the, the air conditioner, it's programmable. Oh, my God. Oh, temperature control.

Oh, God's Christ. Oh, fuck. The shower is different than mine. God damn it. Oh, my God, it's a rain shower. We do also. Again, I'm with you, Jim Walsh. Yeah, no, it's fucking.

Me being in a different shower in the year 2020, we'll see, but I'm really hoping. we meet also very important in this scene they're in their sexy shenanigans are interrupted by two of the rudest freaks i've ever seen anywhere trudy and bob from houston texas and it's an adjoining room situation and i guess the door is broken or something because it must be it must be fucking broken with the way that these two assholes keep getting into their room because the first time it's just like oh hey oh they're no they're more like southern like oh hey y'all how's it going oh yeah she is a fucking grotesque southern cartoon oh hey y'all we just got done filming a john waters movie in baltimore we decided come palm springs oh yeah bob ate shit and the last one i mean what else can i say divine is divine um uh but they're like oh hey um he's like oh hey jim boy I'm Bob from whatever part of the accounts. I've been waiting to meet you, boy. And he's like, oh, I think they do actually use,

they say the Houston office. Got it. You know this couple remind me more of anything? That couple in Halloween three, the salesman that gets murdered with their rotten kid. Yes, it's, wow, that's very accurate. They are kind of the same pigish people. So they're just like, you know,

they're being friendly but too friendly. and then we'll just do these beats really one, two, three. Yeah, that's fine. The next thing you see is they're like kind of, you know that they kind of hung out together. They're like, they're getting ready for a nice dinner out and they're like, oh, and Cindy's like, oh, you know, I feel bad about lying to Trudy and Bob

that our table was full. No, you don't. No, you don't at all. Are you fucking serious, Cindy? Come on. Stop lying to me and stop lying to yourself, Cindy. Get your shit together. You don't fucking care about these people. I want to say, though, what kind of evening do they have planned? Is this something with regard to the seminar or whatever? Because they are

in black tie. Like James Eckhouse is wearing a tuxedo. Cindy Potter has, or what's Carol Potter has like this very sleek black dress on? They look like they are really going out somewhere. But then these fucking assholes come in the middle door again

and Jim even says I thought we had that fixed and I'm like dude, you've got to call management switch. rooms. That's it. That's all that has to happen. Because they're like, oh, hey, y'all, it looks like you're going out. You want to have some hors d'oeuvres with us. Look, fuck you. No, I do not.

She also, I think this is where Trudy is like, oh, hey, y'all, we had so much fun hanging out with you today. We can't wait. I just said to Bob immediately after this conference, we want to visit y'all in Beverly Hills. And I was like, no, no, no, no. After

this, I'm going to Antarctica for six years. The kids moved us to Philadelphia while we were gone. What's that? The house burned down. Gotta go, guys. Oh, man. It's fucking something.

But then the third act of this little part, and this is the part you really want, is they sneak off to the hot tub, and they're just like, oh, this is what I wanted. You know, just some alone time getting away from Bob and Crudy. And I think even, Sidney's like, I felt, I felt bad about sneaking out on them again or whatever bullshit. You and your fucking Catholic guilt, Cindy. I know. You got to stop this. shit, dude. You're about to have a three-way with your

husband and his chest hair. Yeah, dude, James Eckhouse, in topless in this fucking tub, it is something else. It's glorious, dude. It is just straight up glorious. There's no other way to describe it. I feel like Teen Wolf had more skin showing.

Well, well, James, you take the front, I'll take the back. Wait, no, is his chest hair? Yeah. Having a three, some of this. Got it, got it. Jim, Jim, don't you dare put that razor near me. Don't you do it. I'll come back much stronger. Jim, I think she's thinking about Glenn, Jim. Oh, she's putting her fingers in me. Oh,

oh, hey, Jim, is that Trudy over there? Oh, what, you don't care? Well, maybe I do, Jim. Maybe I want a little Trudy action. No, Jim, I will not talk to the pubes. They're angry and they're pissed off and you always buzz them. I'm not talking that but so Bob and Trudy show up in towel or in robes and they're like Oh we found you can't believe you guys slipped away from us You knowty-noughties

And she says the word like Oh and they're like oh we were just getting out of the tub Bye bye which is the move anytime like you're at a hot tub At a hotel or a resort or whatever And somebody else and not for a reason But just to use the hot tub I'm getting up I'm gone That's always the move

Yeah And you know if you're that person, you're doing that on purpose, right? Like, you don't know what I mean? Like, you're removing someone from a hot tub by joining them. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. And that's like, that is hot tub culture in a way. It's like the unwritten law of hot tubs.

Also, in this instance, I'm sorry, but again, the instant fail safe, the perfect injector seat. I mean, ladies and gentlemen, you're in a hot tub. five words i have to take a shit six words the golden answer the golden answer at all times i'm sorry bob and trinity there's absolutely no way i can take a shit in this hot tub and cindy's like yep i gotta go watch them that's what i do i love scat good night i take notes but they're they're like oh we were just leaving oh no you weren't and she says uh i was waiting to play ducky ducky goosey goosey with you all All night, Jim.

And he's like, wait, what? And they take their towels off and, you know, you see their legs. And Cindy very pointedly says, they're not wearing bathing suits. It's like, yeah, obviously. Yeah, we saw that coming, Cindy. Thank you very much. And we cut. You know, they fuck, obviously, the four of them.

My question, I asked this to Andrew off air. Chris, what do you think their end game is here? Is it full on switching, swinging? Are we looking for an orgy? What's going on? I would think it is a switcheroo because she calls Jim out specifically. Yeah, she's got...

That seems like she has a hunger for James specifically, which I don't understand, but, you know, hey. Poor Carol Potter has to fuck Bob. Yeah, that's a problem. And Bob, who looks like fucking butterball the centibite, mixed with the dude who gets hit by the car in office space? I mean, he's the Simpsons Texan.

All you need to know about Bob is he went on to famously play Jerry Falwell in The People v. Larry Flint. That's what you need to know about bother, ladies and gentlemen. The key problem with this is that they had hope. See, if you see those two walking around, because they see them first. Yeah. And they're like, oh, maybe they won't see us. I'm like, no, no, no, no.

You know what's going to happen. Get out now. And you have a good reason for leaving. And also, you got to put fucking water on this fire immediately once they're like, oh, hey, no, no, sorry, we're, we're, no, that's great. We're not going to hang out with you. Bye. It all starts from when they barged

because the gag both times with the hotel room door is Jim and Cindy are about to get intimate and the second they start kissing or necking or whatever they fucking burst through the door because the first time is when they're on the bed they're about to get it on. Cindy goes to put the DND sign on the door and they fucking walk in.

And then the second time is when they're in the tuxes or he's in the tux, she's in the nice dress and she starts like kissing his neck. And that's when they come in again, they're like, oh, we've got Don Perrin'all. And the vintage is 1985, y'all. Let's fucking do it. Like, both of those times, you just have to be like,

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you cannot just walk into this hotel room. You can't do that. Sorry. I have a call from my son, Brandon. He's got to tell me about the shit he's taken. So that's kind of an awkward, humorous subplot. But the real plot is the party that's going on. Brandon previously

Andrea had come up to him and was like hey Brandon what are you doing it's Friday night I've got these theater tickets and he's like I would never do that with you but he's like oh you know but I'm having this party it's more Brenda's thing but you can come along if you want and she's like oh my God okay so if I take the number 12 bus

from the theater transfer at Melrose it'll only take me four and a half hours to get to his house okay okay ah shit that's not going to work. It's going to take too long. Okay, I will take all of my grandmother's grocery money for next week and spend it on a cab to get from

the theater to the Walsh House. I can do that. That's too cold-hearted. I couldn't do that. No, what I'll do is I'll go there and then I'll sleep on the street. That's what I'll do. I'll sleep on the street overnight and then maybe the next morning Brendan will bless me with a ride. Oh, my God. Also, I can't think you're out. Hey, Andre, what's that tent

for? Nothing. Oh, geez. I couldn't figure out what exactly she was asking him to go to because the way she starts it off first is she's like hey Brendan now you got me doing a cabin hey Brandon I have two tickets to those New York there's a New York

comedy show that's playing in town on tour or whatever and I was like what like a fucking improv show like what are you talking and then she's like later she like later in that very same conversation she refers to them as she's like I have theater tickets. And I was like, well, which

is it? I think it's a New York comedy, like a Broadway comedy. Okay. Okay. It's poorly. It's poorly. Did Larry Cohen fucking copyright Broadway also? I've been working on it for years. Sadly, a man in the 1830s

got it first, but I'm optimistic. Oh, sure, Brandon. I'll go to your house. I just need, if I start walking now, I can get there, I think. They're still at school. She's got, like, dirt all over when they get there.

Hey, Andrea. Oh, excuse me, Andrea. I can't believe it. I didn't tell you, it's not a costume party, but it's pretty cool. You came as Pigpen from the Peanuts. Hey, Brandon, so nice to see you. Could I take a shower and do you have clothes that would fit me?

I just walked on the freeway. It's me, Andrea Zuckerman walking on the freeway. I'm actually surprised they didn't give her the old, like a Norm Peterson-esque version of the traditional Andrea Zuckerman announcement where she comes in the front fucking door and the whole party stops and goes, Andrea Zuckerman? Yes, exactly. Everyone jumps on chairs. Ew. I do love what they're preparing for this party, Brandon and Brenda are. and he's putting out these

he's putting out snacks and he's got like this half bag of shit ass pretzels and he's like should I just put out the whole bag like yes of course you should we'd have roll that shit up and have 19 pretzels left

totally you can have fucking 19 stale rolls gold pretzels for you Brandon no no no Brenda we got a you know we got to we gotta save we'll need like five pretzels out and we keep the rest for ourselves

so he but then like oh he's like how many people People do invite. Brandon's like, ah, four or five. And she's like, yeah, I invented like nine or ten.

So that's not too bad. Smash cut. Oops, a million people are there. It's a huge fucking house party, right? We're having fun. The problem here is that she says, just to clarify, Brandon didn't invite anybody.

Oh, that's right. Brenda says that she invited like six people and then says Kelly invited 16. That's the problem. Yes. Kelly Taylor is not throwing this party. Exactly. I understand that Kelly Taylor is your source

to the pulse of the social world of West Beverly High. But it's not her fucking house, man. Yeah, but you can't get the strictly A-list people there without Kelly Taylor. You're right. It would just be Andrea and fucking Scott coming over to play Pictionary, I guess. Sounds delightful if you've got weed. A lot of things are delightful if you have weed. Listen, my thing with Kelly Taylor is I gave her a lot of latitude. It's always the fucking second act of who's afraid of Virginia Woolf in her house.

And you know what, guys, let that lady have her life. No, I understand, dude. And in this episode specifically, because she says it twice, uh, once to Steve Sanders, I think and wants to Brenda, or maybe both times to Brenda where, oh, yeah, I think it is both times to Brenda. Because she's like, Kelly, your mom drinks. Why would you drink or something like that? And her line, a very troublesome line, she's like, uh, Brenda, my mother drinks,

I sip. Yeah. And you're like, that is the first step towards Troubletown, friend. Yeah, I mean, in a couple of months, you're going to be in the same Iceman Comets scenario as your mother. You'll be talking about all your mistakes were just the way to get here, whatever the fuck she says in that episode. So it's a huge party.

Steve's making fucking, oh, it looks like, I don't even know, it's this disgusting punch situation. Yeah, I don't know, man. This looks like Kool-Aid with a whole lot of, like, dark rum in it. Very disgusting. And Brandon's just full on drinking. I think Brendan, it's important to say Brandon and Brendan made a pack

that they wouldn't drink at this party because they wanted to keep things under wraps. Brandon, of course, starts to drink because he likes it now. And that's kind of the thing. He's kind of going overboard. Dylan shows up in an enemy... All right, question.

Because Dylan shows up wearing this amazing silver shirt that looks like he's in fucking space mutiny, which I really enjoy. Yeah. And David shows up again with that fucking killer New Order shirt. I know I should be wearing the new order shirt more than the silver shirt but i kind of want them both uh are you asking

which one you should buy today no i think i'm asking which one which one you guys would rather have oh would rather see you wear no you for for you to have oh uh i would go with that cool silver shirt yeah just go for it new order t-shirt all the way that's vintage shit man yeah that's true that's like that's like that might have been brotherhood i don't know what album it's on but man it's not it you know it looks really cool I just would say that just for me personally I like New Order quite a bit but I don't think I like them enough to wear a t-shirt that's fair you know what I mean so I feel like in a way I'd be faking the funk a little bit you know you don't look you don't know to call you a poser you know yeah no no you can't do that you can't do that's you then I'd have to start drinking I mean in the 90s that was a death sentence right there for your social for your social scene you were that was a if you were a poser you were dead I do also so when Dave is you're talking about David Silver's t-shirt here so I get it's a David and Scott walk in, successfully crash the party. Scott... My favorite line of the episode.

Scott gave me, dude, it was such a legitimate fucking chortle. He's like, it's the same people that ignore me at school. Get out of here, Scott, you loser. It's so bad, man. I love it. I really wonder if I didn't know Scott's fate, if I would be, like, seeing where they're going with them. Like, because he's always, like, kind of forgotten or a wet blanket. Yes.

And he's always, like, really. week and I'm like oh no oh buddy it's so weird because like he never like what were they thinking with this character they never even give him a thing it's never like okay Brandon and Brenda are doing this and this week Scott tries out for the track team or Scott

wins the science fair so aside from I mean who knows maybe he's not even the the A plot of his own fucking death episode I don't know but I mean so there's never like a Scott centric storyline in the second season the friction between David and Scott starts to happen and that becomes kind of

a thing. Okay. Which leads to his untimely demise. But like, but yeah, it's just, it's never like, and then Scott, I mean, maybe I'm missing a season one up that I don't remember where Scott does anything. But like, I think an answer to that problem would have been, like, so, you know, they have there's like an equivalent

more or less an equivalent character represented in each gender, right? So, like, Andrea is the nerd girl. Scott should have been, they should have leaned more into Scott is like an openly nerd guy. Yes. Then, like, you know,

just due to the way you write these things, like, they could get together at some point. Like, that's a thing. That would make sense. And again, like, yeah, he was, because he's just kind of geeky and awkward and it's uncomfortable to look at. It would be, well, you could even pick up the wrote, what's that girl that had a crush on Brandon

that, then he started to talk to him? The little, the freshman girl, yeah. You see something like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, just have her come back. Yeah. Oh, that's true. Yeah, I totally forgot about it. Like, he gets a little like, acknowledgement from a pretty girl. And then maybe David gets jealous or whatever. You know, that's a, that's an episode, sure.

A Melhouse Bart situation, of course. Oh, and it would be fucking awesome, dude. What happens is they get in a massive fight in the radio station booth. And, uh-oh, they are on the air. yeah that sort of happens a couple times I think at least once excellent and whatever

so they wind up Brandon's getting wasted Dylan is clearly uncomfortable the cops show up you know Dylan and Brenda have to Brenda's like I'll take care of it and he goes don't have a cow man and I want to throw up

yeah that sucked and you know Dylan's like dude if they fucking if they smell you they're gonna they're gonna bust his party let me let me and brenda handle it they do they just are like oh yeah we're just like I do like Dylan says

sorry you know my cousin here just it's her birthday and all she wanted me to pump up the volume a little bit yep and you know it's just a reminder man you know again for the younger audience out there you always want the chill person at the party that will

be able to talk to the police if there is a noise complaint but your chill person can't also be your resident stoner This is a tricky one. You have to have somebody there who's not going to have a smell around them and can also be cool. I don't think that Dylan's been hit in a spliff just yet. You think so?

No, he's just giving a tip to the kids. Oh, I thought you were criticizing Dylan. No, no, you think of a chill person. You think of the stoner first and foremost, but they're going to have the red eyes. They're going to have the smell. Yeah, you don't need fucking shaggy dude talking to the police department. I do. Now I'm just remembering one time a buddy of mine was literally face.

down in the street drunk and a cop was hassling us and asking us up and like ah what's his problem and my friend is like ah he's just showing off i wouldn't worry about it fair enough exactly uh all right show boat no so whatever um show boat yada yada yada the cops go away uh steve andrea shows up and brandon asks her to dance uh and like she's totally like she's he offers her the drinks like oh my god this is the worst drink i had in my life. You know, so Andre's a little cool. She's not immediately like, oh my God, there's drinking at this party kind of thing.

And yes, thank you for bringing that up because I really appreciated that they did not make her a stuck-up teetotaler in that way because it's like, listen guys, this character profile can only take so much. You know what I mean? You got to give her fucking something. She took eight buses to get here and dead buses to get back.

Yeah, and she just watched, she got fucking grifted on some bad improv show or some shit. I was genuinely. waiting for when when brandon says do you want to dance i wanted like all the noise to fade out in the back and her just to stare at him and say what what did you say would you like to dance kiss me oh yeah dude totally a little sixpence none comes on oh yeah dude uh maybe it happened but no it's too early uh so they're dancing he kisses her awkwardly oh and she kind of is like well hold on and he's like what i'm just dancing having a good time and she's like listen you know

and she's obviously like into it but like understands like i don't want you she even says something something to the effect of like you're only kissing me because you're drunk and he's like whatever man i'm trying to have a good time yeah it's like you're right and you know and he's like oh you lost baby yeah it's like poor fucking and then she's like well i'm leaving uh do you know if the 12 bus uh that's a mile away runs uh that's a mile away runs now or Brenda, do you have a sleeping bag anywhere around here? Oh my God.

Hey, Brenda, listen, I know that your parents are out of town. I'm not going to touch the bed. I will sleep on the floor of their bedroom. I will sleep on your mother's hope chest. I know this is a long stretch. Did you used to have a dog and have a bed for it and did get rid of the bed when the dog died? Because I would take that as well.

I, Brenda, I will sleep in a dog's bed. I live 19 miles away, and it's midnight. I have no idea what to do. Los Angeles has almost no public transportation, Brenda. I am desperate. I don't want to get away from it. There's another throwaway fucking hilarious Scott and David exchange that happens right here. Because David spies Kelly Taylor from across the way and has some line, because he's, it's already been announced, you know, that he's got a crush on her.

Sure. You know, we had that nice moment a couple weeks ago where he gives the videotape of the fashion show over to her and so on. But he's like, oh, Scott, look, there's Kelly Taylor. Like, oh, my God, doesn't she look like Christy Turlington? Christy Brinkley. Oh, Christy Brinkley, yeah, excuse me.

And then Scott goes, yeah, but you're no Billy Joel. And I was like, wait, like fucking Darth Vader, Billy Joel. What are you talking about? but actually at this point the Stephen Kelly thing kind of comes to a head he's like hey you want to drink she's like no I don't want to drink

you want me to fuck you in the she's like I don't want whatever happened last weekend to happen again and again I'm like what happened last weekend yeah but she's like really you know pissed off at him

and to get back at him and make him jealous or just to make him feel like shit she goes to dance with David Silver and he's as hard as a rock the entire time and thank God this kid did not wear sweatpants to the party.

That's all I have to say. Also, though, really quickly, another Scott thing, I'm just going through my Scott notes here. In that same exchange, after he says, you're no Billy Joel, God damn, this kid sucks. He's basically telling David that he wants to go home. He's like, David, we can only stay for so long, because I want to make it home

in time for the creature feature. Dude, Scott, you are so helpless, dude. You are so helpless. Sorry, Team Scott. Like, honestly. Yeah, this would be me at a party. Like, oh, guys. that VHS a heat isn't going to watch itself. Yeah, I'd be drinking. Hey, David, why don't we steal a bottle or two

and then we go watch the creature feature? Well, see, oh, that's a good compromise, Chris Cabin. I actually remember we did this a couple times in purchase, we'd walk into a house party that wasn't ours and fucking take a bunch of booze and leave. That's the move. I do love, so while he's dance, and this is a David flaw, because he's a good dancer,

and it's great. And this is the problem I never had. But I feel like you, and this isn't a fragile masculinity thing. But I feel like for any gender, you never want to outdance your dance partner this much. You know what I mean? Like you want to kind of keep in the range. You are, you're totally correct. But there's also another issue at play here.

And that is Kelly compliments him on his dancing. And unfortunately, he rides that high a little too quickly. And the dancing gets more outrageous. and that's when he fucking steps on her foot. I can explain that is that he came and he was trying to shake the cum out of his pants. Come on! And therefore, he just got out of control.

Kevin, I mean, I don't know, man, but are you shaking come out of your pants? What is the viscosity there, dude? Not today. You dropping pellets, pal, or what? Totally. What is going on, dude? You've got fucking dipping dots coming out of there? Look, he's in an emergency.

He doesn't know what to do. You just fucking keep it as is until you go home or can go to the bathroom. I think that's asking a little too much of David. He's got his dream girl here. I mean, I guess so. I've also never accidentally orgasmated in my pants. I do, you know, for a fact, when they're watching the creature feature later, David excuses himself to go to the bathroom.

And then it's like, you're such a good dancer. You're such a good dancer. You're such a good dancer. I'm a good dancer. Because he fucking knows that his good. Best buddy in the world, Scott, will be glued to return of the creature from the Black Lagoon. He can go to the other room and psych himself up.

This is so scary. David, you're missing the scary part. David, David, the leopard man is on. Oh, my God. It's 67 minutes of atmospheric terror, David. You're such a good dancer. That's a good answer. So, whatever.

They're getting drunk. They run out of booze, and it turns into the fucking end of Donnie Darko, because we got to go get, we got to get more booze, which again, like, and at this point, even Dylan goes up to Brandon, is like, hey man, maybe you want to drink some coffee, you want to chill out a little bit, like, no, I'm okay. And it's like, and Brenda's like, you know, I'm giving this party another hour, and then we're calling it, but he's like, we're getting more booze. So Steve, him, and the other guy take two cars, which is crazy.

Well, it's so fucking dumb because they're not trying to go use a fake ID. Steve is very much like, I'm going to go to my house and steal a bunch of my parents' alcohol, my mother's alcohol, because that's the whole, like, rich kid thing. Like, Donna says the same thing of like, drink whatever you want. They're not going to notice. Should I get a half pound of cocaine or a quarter pound? He's staring at his mom's closet. But then they're like, all right, like, Steve's like, all right, Brandon, me and other guy here are going to go to my house and steal my mom's liquor.

You're going to go to the store and get a bunch of munchy. Oh, the munchies. Dude. And I mean, like, drunk driving is stupid no matter what. It's totally indefensible behavior. Dumb as donkey dick, dude. But the dumbest thing is to fucking kill someone because you were trying to get fucking munchies, you idiot.

Dude, and I got to say, there's another thing here that I had real issue with, as much as I love this character, and I'm still loving them after this mistake. Everybody makes mistakes, you guys. But the beef I have here in this scene is, the way this scene starts is, Steve, what you mentioned, it's Brenda and Dylan outside, and she's talking about, like, you know, I got to get people out of here, and they're trying to figure out, like, what time they're going to do it, and Dylan kind of has this playful line of like, I'll do it for a fee, ha, ha, girlfriend, or whatever. and they see the both of them pull out the driveway right here. Oh, right. And I was expecting Dylan, you know, and Brenda, for Christ's sakes, to like run out, be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what is going on here? And I was preparing myself for a scene where we're going to argue with a drunk person to not drunk drive. And instead, it's like, hey, is that Brandon? Yeah.

Where's he going? And I mean, you know, obviously Brandon is fully responsible for everything. but like you see that shit going down man you got to you got to fucking run down the driveway absolutely and it's not like brandon is holding this in he has he's acting this is where maybe jason prisley's acting maybe finds its boundaries because it looks he's acting like a guy who says he got drunk on pepsi yes he's way overacting like way overdue and like even when he's drunk driving it's like he's john mclean getting through central park well this is like he's trying to like focus or anything like that he's just a maniac the stunt driving in this scene is a little outrage

it's it's done driving so we should start wrapping this up but he he runs into a truck and teabones a truck yeah he teabones a truck um and it's it's huge um he goes to jail uh jim and cindy in the middle of the night my favorite line of the episode actually is they're like in the bed not having sex and she's like you want to try again and he's like i can't every time i close with my eyes i see trudy it's kind of a weird weird way to put that but then they got a phone call that Brandon was in a car accident. It's Brenda calling from a police station that Brandon was at a car accident. He's okay, but he's actually been arrested. So they go. And again, Brandon kind of gets it off light here. You know what I mean? Like, I mean, like, he's in the, he's full on, you know,

in a cell, freaking out a little bit, you know, and obviously Jim and Cindy are just happy that he's okay. So they give him a huge hug and all that stuff. And no, no tongue lashing yet. When we go back home and he's a party and the houses are wreck, they start yelling right at Brenda. Isn't it amazing? It's, yeah. I mean, you know, part of that you can say is like they're just relieved that their kid is alive. Sure.

You know, because Cindy does have some line about like, oh, I'm so scared, blah, blah, blah, blah. And Jim is like, you know, a parent's worst nightmare is, you know, having to like outlive their kid and identify their kid or whatever it is. And he's trying to say like, hey, look, it sucks. Brandon is

okay. You know, we can go from there. Like, that's where they're starting out from. But I feel like a tongue lashing would happen, like, in the car on the way home. But they turn on a dime once she sees Brenda cleaning that wine stain off the floor. Well, they don't give you any sense that that's what's going to happen in the car. Yeah. No, no, they definitely don't. They give him a warm hug and they're like, oh, God, Brendan, you know, oh, God, fucking damn it.

I love you so much. I fucking hate Brenda, but I fucking love you so much. We're going to work through this, okay? Once I get home, I'm going to yell the shit out of Brenda. But, like, I hope you're okay. Hey, baby. I hope you're okay. And that's what they do. They're screaming at her about like, oh, are we ever supposed to trust you

kids again? And this is when Brandon kind of breaks down. He's like, you know, I he's like, you know, like, this guy spiked my drink tonight. I didn't know what I was doing and blah, blah, blah, blah. And Brenda's like, he lied. And which is horseshit. Because later on she confronts him, she's like,

why did you lie to mom and dad? I'm like, yeah, of course you do that. You're trying to get out of any trouble you can, you know, like whatever. Yeah, no, exactly. I mean, The problem, though, is, like, you expect a show like this to then have that come to light. And it's like, oh, you know, you lied about that to us kind of a thing. It doesn't, I think, only for the sake of the fact that it's a 46-minute television show. Sure.

You got to end it at some point. Speaking of ending it, whatever. Yeah. We're running along here today. And, you know, Brandon and Dylan, Brandon's working at the Peach Pit. Like, you know, they suspended my license, blah, blah, blah. You know, right now I'm so pissed on. off of my parents because they hold me to this crazy standard. I want to go get drunk just to show

him that I can. I got just a place, man. And they go back to school and there is an AA meeting in the school 14. Yeah. And the whole thing, you know, you can see Brandon being like, he's not saying anything, but he's like, what am I doing here? Why did Dylan bring me here? And the group of people are going around doing I'm so-and-so and I'm an alcoholic or whatever. And then all of a sudden, you see Luke Perry say, my name is Dylan and I'm an alcoholic and you see Brandon's like head explode. So, but here's my

question. With this group, are they all going to Beverly High? It's a great. Well, I mean, like... Because if so, then there's no anonymous about it. Everybody knows everybody. Yeah, that's a great point. Yeah, I don't know. I will say it doesn't look like a lot of the people

participating in this meeting are high school kids, but then again, none of the high school kids on the show look like high school kids. so I don't know what to believe. Yeah. They all look at freshman college, so I think they're fucking from Beverly. Yeah, and also it's possible where, I mean, A.A. meetings just happen in all sorts of places. You know what I mean? Not necessarily everyone's going to that high school. It's just coming from wherever.

Right. But it is odd. And again, like, with this show always, you're like, is that the kid supposed to be 19 or 48? Yep. Because you could play either. So that's kind of it. Dylan drops Brandon off. They have a moment. and, you know, it's just sort of like, and I misremembered this episode. I always thought that Brandon thinks he's an alcoholic because of this happened and starts going to meetings.

No, he just sort of learns like, okay, I got to watch myself here, yada yada, yada. Right, right. Just like Dylan is giving him a wake-up call. The question I have, though, is the scene where it's, Brandon is cleaning up, like, closing the peach pip. And I promise this won't take long. But it's like after hours, whatever.

And I love that Dylan walks out of the back of the peach pit Like to announce himself So he's coming through the back door Walk through the kitchen and now he's here But another question though Like where is Nat? He didn't get paid because he's an extra So they were like, or a guest star

And like I had we spent too much money on Bob and Trudy Yeah, it's just it's one of those situations Where it doesn't quite make sense Because I'm like I don't know That you'd necessarily be trusted Just yet to close the place yourself I mean maybe I'm wrong I don't know it's just weird

You don't see Joe E. Tata around I mean, I think Dylan dropped off, you know, this weekly scag. And the gnats and back having fun. And now he comes back right through. He's getting another one of them there, deep tissue massages. I think this was the vital importance thing from last week that Dylan's dad had is a scag deal gone wrong. I got it. I do.

Yeah. I mean, I feel like every week Joe E. Tate showed up to the to the lot, like with a hat and hand wearing like coveralls. Like he's an oaky. You got anything for me this week? You kids go into the peach pit this week or what? No, okay. I can't help you this week, Joe. Come back next week.

Come back. We'll get you something next week. But I read the script. You're going to my character's restaurant. You know, here, Joe, here's five bucks. Why don't you get yourself a meal? Great story idea. The kids learn how to clean a restaurant.

I can't help you this week, Joe. I got nothing for you. we do have a sorry Joe we gave all your lines to Donna Donna's running the peach pit I'm sorry do any of them take over the peach pit or is it just Tiffany Thiessen

shows up and has a stake in the peach maybe I feel like Dylan might buy it at some point I don't remember I don't remember the finances of that sinking ship gotcha so that I mean the last line is Brandon comes home from the A meeting

and it's Jim Walsh and he's like you know dad he does actually say like I lied about how much I had to drink that night. He's like, yeah, I figure. And he's like, how'd you know? He's like, well, I was your age too once. And it's like, well, I guess you'll, and you'll live to make it to my age or something like that.

It's a nice father-son. It's a nice exchange. It is, it is. Yeah. And that's our episode this week. You know, we did it all. We did it all for the nookie. Speaking of a lib biscuit, rib-discuit, I believe it was called.

Christopher Cabin, any parting shots or, you know, are you still excited to, follow this gang of kids through their crazy life you know i am this episode as you guys said uh is very full and it felt like a full episode of television uh i i found it's a message about uh drug driving a little muddled but uh sure because he does it in the first thing and nothing happens and he's fine yep uh but um you know i'm really glad i wasn't on last week's episode because i watched about 30 minutes of it and again as i said i almost died yeah you would have dropped dead on the air there's a lot of jim walshack and like like an asshole so um but if there's less of that going forward i'm really excited uh Andrew

what do you what are you what are you what are you feeling there this was a super solid episode of this show it it hits all the right notes of like a message thing with again not being too preachy about stuff like it makes it so that it feels uh like it's natural to the progression of the episode um and you're also able to you know glean a little bit of learning from it uh which i thought was really great. I love the fact that it's a party scene, so it's a great opportunity to bring all of your characters into one setting.

And you're using everybody really nicely. I totally dug this episode. And, you know, I'm just, I'm finding myself more and more falling in love with Beverly Hills 90210. And you'll be excited. Next week, we found a little something for Joe E.

Come on, come on, Joe. Just come on the truck. We got something for you. The good coats are in the back, Joey. Hot tub. Yeah, I mean, obviously this is not one of my favorite episodes. It's just one of the more memorable ones, especially the fucking hot tub scene. Yes. It is an episode where literally everybody has something to do

and I really appreciate that, except for Scott because he never has anything to do, but die. That is going to do it for this week. We've got a ton of great stuff coming this week. Actually, on the main feed you, tomorrow, we are not doing any more fucking Pirates movies ever again. Question mark. not. We recorded

an episode on 2002 Scooby-Doo, and it is fucking 2002-tastic. So you'll really enjoy that. We also on Patreon last Friday, we dropped No Country for Old Men on our We Love Movies feed. A ton of great stuff on that feed and a ton of great

stuff on our feed. And just a reminder, you know, anything, check out that merch store. All the money's going to go to great causes if you can. So, until next, until Thursday, when I'll be back. We'll be talking about Melrose Place. I have been Stephen Sadek. Andrew Jupin. Chris Gavin. Take it easy and remain indoors. You know, I'm going to be. That was a hate gum podcast.