We Hate Movies - MELR0210 #28 - Melrose Place "Drawing the Line"

Episode Date: June 26, 2020

We close out another week in quarantine with a MELR0210 episode all about the Melrose Place entry, "Drawing the Line"! Originally airing November 4, 1992, this episode features Allison's relationship with Keith hitting the skids when Keith's wife shows up, Billy asking Allison to go back out in the rain to pick him up dinner, Rhonda getting a ridiculous roommate that may or may not be an alien, Matt asking his parents for money for the lawsuit, Michael fixing a roof tile or two, Jane getting into it with Allison over her relationship with Keith, and Keith being a total coward about the whole thing! PLUS: Captain Picard books some time in the Mel Rowe's Place holosuite program! WHM is donating 100% of our 2020 merch income to causes fighting for racial justice. For more information on how you can pitch in, head over to our website. MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this more-than-necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. Hello and welcome to another edition of Melro 210, a we hate movies quarantine side show. Yeah! Where we ask you to remain indoors, and please, please, please stop pretending like this fucking thing isn't over when it's not. We're just, you know, just if you can. If you could just bother to not pretend that this fucking thing is over, that'd be great. My name is Stephen Sadek. I am joined, as always.

The podcast is not over yet. With Eric Siska. Howdy, partner. Our terrifying anal retentive roommate, Chris Cabin. Hi, hoi. And Andrew Juppin, the married man that refuses to leave our life. Yo! That's right.

I fucking refuse. fuse to leave you guys because we made a commitment and we're here for the long haul, baby, so I'm going to drink this delicious Five Burroughs Brewing Company Summer Ale and you can fucking deal with it. I've got myself a single cut here, my friends.

What single cut are you rocking? What is it? You know, the problem with single cut guys is it's really hard. They're very big on picture, but not so much a label. I've accidentally bought beers that I didn't want, like certain sours, etc. It's all and all is all.

I don't even fucking know. It's got elderberries in it. It's pretty good. Nice. I like that. Let's fucking tighten up the labeling. Anyways, we are talking about drawing the line an episode of Melrose Place because it's fucking Thursday.

We love it. Drawing the line with a single cut. That's right. We're going to put out a whole PR announcement about how we hate them for their labeling. Steve, this podcast is now about Queens Breweries that no one else knows about. Our original air date, November the 4th, 1992. election day, you guys. Pretty close. Oh, shit. I couldn't even. Hey, Allison.

I think I'm going to vote for Bill Clinton. He seems like a pretty cool dude. I dig that saxophone. He's a rock and roll president, Allison. Alston, we need to stay the course with George A.W. He knows what's going on. It's like Reagan for 20 more years.

He was at the CIA. He probably knows everything. I bet Billy does have strong opinions on Kuwait. Oh, yeah. You know what, Allison? Someone had step in there, God damn it. We are, I mean, like, we're in quarantine and, you know, we're

all doing this thing, we're all doing our best. But if Melrose Place could stop airing the same fucking episode week after week with this Keith horse shit, I'd be appreciative of it. Here's the thing. I get it, but I got to tell you something, guys. There's a problem

here that we knew going in. We're watching a soap opera. Yeah. And that's what these things are. And just be thankful we're not doing Young and the Restless to some shit dude. Because back in the day, they'd have five of those fuckers a week and you're watching thousands of repetitious storylines

happen. I guess so. I just I feel like I've watched the same episode three weeks in a row and it's kind of crazy. You have. I'm not denying that. You definitely have. There might be some finality here now with the Keith relationship, but I'm assuming he will return. Assumption, correct.

Keith will return in Thunderballs. Keith's big Thunderballs It's fine that this keeps on happening But it can't always be the focus of the fucking episode It's true Yep

Yep Why'd you have some of this get fucked up for you In the background Allison How about that? Weird Ray Don Chong thing Make that the main thing Oh Ray Don Chon this week Playing an alien?

Absolutely Yes wonderful Yes There's three stories I think we'll just probably go chronologically and just talk about him As we will Because none of these are worth

really like devoting a ton of time to anyway. The Matt's storyline is nothing. It goes to a lawyer and that's that. It's like a it's like what? Like how much screen time did these guys? It's two and a half scenes. It's the, I'm sorry, it's three scenes. First he goes to a lawyer played by the great Judith Hogue

of Teenage Mutia Turtles fame. That's a, that's a WLM coming to you guys at some point. Oh yeah. Get a ref some food. I like her in this role. It's kind of a fun. He's going obviously pick up from last week. He's trying

to sue the halfway house he worked at for discrimination for firing him because he's gay. And, you know, this woman's trying to tell him like, look, it's going to be a tough road. But, you know, if you're into it, I'm into it. It's going to cost you five large, though, dude. Yeah, we're not going to win until

2020 with the Supreme Court decision. Exactly. Yeah. Long, long road, Matt. Long road. 18 years. It's, again, it's one of those things where I'm like man the times are different if this was like Melrose Place 2020

like this is the number one storyline for sure you know what I mean and as the way I've been able to judge you know more or less I think which plot lines gets which letter it's just based off the sheer number of notes that I take about each

storyline and it's insane that this is the C story yes well when the B stories Ray Don Chong being an anal retentive roommate. In a better episode, you would have had a lot more with the parents, James Handy as his dad, and that whole thing. They just

blazed through that real quick. It's half a seed. It's five grand, and like he gets a new job at a restaurant, like an outdoors restaurant where this woman... Bikini Burger! Cup eat a bikini burger! I'm glad you got the name of it, Kevin,

because I was trying so hard to read that T-shirt, and then I was like, oh, it definitely says bikini burgers. Oh, Doesn't it? Oh, yeah. Are these grill marks on my burger? No, no, no. Those are tan lines. Here, Matt, you're going to want to put it on this bikini. Just let, we're going to tie you up and back. Just what a weird thing. Like, here's a burger and it's named after a bathing suit. It's probably on the beach, right? Oh, yeah. Sure. But she's like, and his manager there, he's like, oh, so how much can I expect to make $5,000? She's like, no. Are you sure it's not $5,000?

It's like $5,000 a day, right? Right? And she's like, no, you'll get extra tips if you're cute, so you'll have no problem. Cudy. And it's like, how many times do you have to sue people? Like, how many times can I have one week where I don't have to sue someone?

I didn't understand because they don't wind up playing it up anymore. Like the reason for this waitress being flirtatious. Like that I feel is an episode where it's like, oh, geez, I don't know, Jake, there's this waitress at work and she keeps coming on to me and I don't know what to do about, like, that's a thing. I will strangle her tonight. All right, now just, all right, Matt, you know the drill. Here are one, here's one complimentary ticket for her to go on the riverboat casino.

I will be there on Tuesday night to strangle her by the riverboat strangler. Matt grooms his victims. Just tell her to meet you outside of shooters at 4 a.m. That's where I usually am. Problem will take care of itself. I may or may not be asleep. Just tell her to wake me up. It'll be fine.

By the way, do you have any rope? I'm out of rope. Fresh out of rope. So you gotta go to rope burger for that. He does wind up talking to Jake a little bit. It's like, oh man, this five grand is really burned in a hole in my pocket. I don't know how to get it. Like, I guess I'll talk to my parents.

We've seen this really awkward dinner scene, which I agree with Chris. Like, this is actually the most interesting part of the episode is like Matt with his family. Again, like a 1992 gay guy talking to his parents. You know what I mean? Like, it's not something we've seen on screen a ton on television. So it'd be cool to sort of live with this relationship. And it's like, you know, a little nuanced in so far as like they accept him, but they're really uncomfortable by it, of course. I mean, they get James Handy, who is really good all the time.

But I actually don't know who plays a mother. I don't know if it's anyone super of note. I can look her up. Can I tell you really quickly that I was looking up James Handy and he was in a movie in 2017, which is only an hour and 10 minutes long that I really want to know about. It's called Through, T-H-R-U, the hereafter remains unknown. a series of massacres at local bars has a neighborhood on edge with the culprits still at large it's a dangerous night to be out drinking at frank stavern nevertheless a few diehard regulars tempt fate and take their chances massacre i know what is happening is the zombie or is it an ar-15 i think it looks i'm looking at the pictures he's leading this movie he's on the poster it's him man it's hit with a shotgun i'm like kind of into this movie what James Handy's got a shotgun

on the poster. In 2017. It's going to break his fucking wrists. That's ridiculous. The mother is an actress. She was. She was. She died a few months ago, actually.

She died in February. Claudette Nevins. Plays Matt's mother more on this. She's in sleeping with the enemy. She's a doctor character of some kind. Supposedly she was in Star Trek. Insurrection is officer number two.

So you can see where this is going. Although, actually, she's in ToughTurf. A character named Paige Hiller. So that's the mother of James Spader. And it seems like at least James Handy comes back for six, five more episodes, which is good. But yeah, it's just them at the dinner table. And he's like, hey, you know, Matt, sorry about the halfway house. But as I told you, you're never going to make money at that place.

And he's like, that's kind of funny. Speaking of which, can I have $5,000? And it's funny. I can't tell, I mean, the dining room here is dressed like, you know, nicely, but we literally only get this one, it's one of those things where like the family's eating dinner in every other room when the house is turned, every other light is turned off and every other room. It's like completely dark except for the dining room. You have no idea like the size of this house. So I don't know if these, like, is $5,000 a lot of money to Mr. and Mrs. Fielding or not so much. I think it is, but like they clearly will throw it around because like there's no traction when he initially.

like I need a little bit of money. They're like, oh, sure, of course, but how much? Yes. Right. So like 5,000 I do think is pressing it. That's why he, he stonewalls them, but like, yeah. In 92 or whatever, that's probably, that's at least 10,000 as well. Yeah. Modern, modern bucks. And he's like, hey, you know, it's like, well, it's for this, you know, it's for this lawyer. She needs to do this thing, blah, blah, blah. You know, I'm going to sue those bastards kind of a thing. It's like, you know, Matt, it's just, you know, you're going to make a big show out of this whole thing and the publicity is going to eat you alive. It's just bad news.

You know what I mean? And he doesn't say it was like, most of America does not share your values or whatever it is, which is kind of amazing and shitty. And then he just storms out and that's kind of it. And then he goes back to Judith Hogue and she's like, oh, I just realized something. Pro bono. Cool. That's the problem. It's solved.

And but she does say, you know, I'm going to, uh, the publicity is going to be a thing here. Because I'm going to really like fucking, you know, really make a big show out of this thing. And we're going to go all the way to the top kind of it. right she mentions about like the publicity will take off like a brush fire nice right yeah localism probably i do i do appreciate that she's up front about like by the way i realized last night this is probably pretty good for my career so yeah i'll get him to do pro bono yeah i'm guessing this is all going to end with like the choice being like continue with the lawsuit or the place closes well that's what i'm kind of i'm hoping it doesn't turn into a thing i mean i don't

don't remember, and I did watch this a really, really long time ago, but I'm curious where this goes. I hope it doesn't come to a place where I was like, oh, you know what, even speaking out has its own problems. I guess I shouldn't have done that either, you know what I mean? I hope that's not what we're doing. I'm getting the feeling that's where we're going, though. Yeah. Yeah, I must say, I do not remember, but I would not be surprised if Chris is right. Just like, oh, man, you know, it's speaking out, well, what a hassle. It's, it's just not that simple, you know, it's just not that simple. If you speak out, there's a chance that

this halfway house won't exist. Armando won't have a wall to throw a chair at, okay? Right. Yeah, totally. Would you do that to these kids, Matt? Just for your gay agenda. What? Nothing. God. I mean, that's where we're going with this thing. And like we keep saying,

this should be the A story. It's so interesting to have this on television at all in the 90s, but we have to watch fucking paint dry with Keith and Allison. I know. And I mean, honestly, it was the most I was engaged in the episode is when the two and a half minutes of screen time that this storyline got to continue itself. The B story, I guess we'll just do it story by story. The B story is, because they have nothing to do with each other either, is Ray Don Chong and Rhonda. She shows up to be Rhonda's new roommate.

And like, she is like fucking crazy from jump. She's just like, oh, hey. you know, blah, blah, blah, I'm an efficiency expert and an organizer and I kind of keep everything super tidy. And I'm like, thank you very much for coming by. I'm done. Yep. When as soon as someone tells you that they are an organizational professional, that is the reddest of flags that they should not be your roommate. She's talking like she's on the home shopping network the whole time. Like that's why I thought she was an alien. Yeah. I mean, she says, I organize people's lives. That's like an alien thing to say.

Isn't that what Dahmer said he did? Yeah, I'm just kicking back, organizing some lives, you know, cutting some heads in the skulls, you know, organizing the skulls. It'd be more efficient if you had another hole in your head. Yeah. And this one's just for the wind to go through. It'll be a little quicker. You'll swim faster.

You're a runner, aren't you? Well, this will help you fine. Yeah, you're not going to run. no more. Yeah. And, you know, again, huge, huge red flag. And she's like, wow, you're much better than these other mutants. I'm, I'm meeting. I'm like, who are these mutants? Who could be worse than this woman? That's the thing, dude, because she calls them, quote, a parade of losers. I got to see that parade of losers in an application interview montage. I think I need some creeps dropping by the apartment. I think they were all like Sandy. And this is like the other side of Sandy essentially. Like

the absolute opposite of Sandy. Right. And that's what the whole, like, and that's what she has to learn is it's not so nice to have them like completely on their own and, you know, self-determined and all that because they're freaks. Ooh, hey Rhonda, just called a check in with you. What's that?

Oh, sounds pretty terrible, child. I got to go now. Sets calling by. Oh, you got taken over by the ball kitchen. I'm sorry, bye. Ooh, you know what they say about the borg child

ooh resistance is futile y'all Q stop this I don't want to watch Melrose Place anymore we're not your pawns Q Keith and Allison either should break up and get on with it

or he needs to divorce that son of a bitch Lily Holladeck run Melrose Place protocol minus Keith oh this is a much better episode. Oh, now I have the nice apartment.

Just playing pool at shooters. He'd hate it there, though, dude. There is not one like fucking moment in time where you can read a book at Melrose Place. Oh, yeah. And Allison isn't picking up on all his like Rousseau references and shit like that.

In the opening credits now, we have Billy reading a book. It'd be cool if it was just randomly Patrick Stewart reading a book. Like half a second. Like, what What was it? But, you know, she moves in, and it's pretty early on. It's like, oh, I just rearranged all the cans in the apartment. And it's like, oh, that's nice.

And she's like, I also brought this cool organizer. It's last year's model. The new ones are wider for different spices. I'm like, okay. Like, do you want me to buy it? Yeah, exactly. Why are you telling me that? Shut up.

And, like, Rhonda's like, huh, that's odd. And then, like, Rhonda comes back one time. and like this plastic shit all over the floor. Dude, these plastic runners that people had in the 90s to put over your carpeted hallway and shit. Good God, dude. You know what that stuff is, by the way? You see that down on a fucking floor?

That person's like in the early stages of becoming a hoarder. That is the true menace to society. Was those fucking things. I fucking slipped on those things so goddamn often. Yep. Or you trip over them because they come unhooked from the carpet. Oh, they're off. They were so awful.

I have never seen one in the wild. this is interesting. A friend of mine had him. I don't know who it was, but I do remember being disgusted by them. Yeah, you should be, dude. I do. It's like plastic over a fucking couch. It's like, what are we doing? Isn't that what Mark

Walberg lays out at the end of the departed? He shows up with the shower cap on his head. Yeah, I think he's got one of those plastic runners. He's like, hey, bro, I don't want to get any dust on this carpet. I brought them from my mother's house, bro. Because that was the other thing with those.

that was the other thing with those things man is they people would use it as excuse to not fucking vacuum under there yeah exactly and it's just it's just a fucking filth trap it's disgusting but that is that essentially is the wires going into the borg brain heads of ronda's apartment well i guess so the idea is like if you're carrying a giant beverage through your hallway and you drop it yep that's the whole reason dude if you're if you're holding one of those big heavy slippery fucking big gulps and it just slides right through your hands man and that four gallons of diet coke falls on the floor this was the height of big gulps right like the same era so yes absolutely it was wheezing the juice man that's this is this is where it came from I wish I could go back and just wheeze the fucking juice to just spend an afternoon wheeze in the juice you know what I mean go to mega mountain enjoy yourself yeah that's right um but yeah so not only did she lay down these weird things in that talking about Rhonda talking to Rhonda, she also like

reorganized Rhonda's closet and sent half of her clothes out for dry cleaning and put like fucking potpourri in her shoes or some nonsense. Forest Spice Shoe Deodorizer, we're told. Which actually sounds kind of nice, you know? I mean, sometimes you need that man.

Rhonda complains that all of her shoes smell like pine trees now and I'm like, fuck, that's all I ever want to smell like, pine truth. Well, it's better than smelling like foot funk, too. But like sending someone's clothes out. What are you doing? That's, that is the last straw. Like, the first straw was like, okay, it's

kind of weird, you just, you know, it's funded to reorganize my soups and shit, I don't care. You start touching my clothes, you got to get out of here. You just got to go. You're not on the lease anyway. Yeah, well, like, where is, where's the fucking receipt for any of this dry cleaning? What dry cleaner did you go to? She's

like, oh, it's the best dry cleaner in Beverly Hills. I'd be like, where are my clothes? It's called the the fence laundromat. The fence laundrom. It's that or it's like she sent it up to her spaceship to analyze the fibers and shit. This is what Earth people wear. If you, if I came back, Chris, when we were living together and you're like, oh, I sent all your clothes out for dry clothing that I asked you.

Like, oh, so you came in my clothes? You just, you jizzed on my, you wore my clothes and jizzed on them. That's exactly what I did, Steve, and I took them to the laundromat because I'm a friend. So let me get this straight. Let me get this straight. You were jerking off while facing my closet. And when you started slinging webs, you didn't pay attention as to which fucking t-shirts they were hitting. Look, what I wanted to do is I wanted to see if I could waddle while staying erect around the apartment.

And it just so happened that the end of my journey was your bedroom. It's Steve's fault for leaving his closet door open. You should just expect your roommates are shooting ropes when you're not home. That's a good point. It's important to experiment with yourself. In the internet ticker, by the way, it was the highest. of wheeze in the juice because 92 same year as it's you know man by the way oh shit

everybody was wheeze in the juice god damn it Alice out I'm trying to weed the juice in here Allison of a bitch Lincoln's just gonna crash here for a couple of days he wanted to swim at a real swimming pool that wasn't in Sean Athens backyard oh they're cold in the middle

we will get to him but yeah so she's like you know what carry is radon chong's character's name by the way is like uh the great right on chong by the way she's she's fun and stuff she's in you got her in commando she's great and commando she's great and commando she's really good in the principal uh she is great uh in a non action or comedy she's in the color purple i don't remember her and jeffle lives at home which is in her whatever that's a fun movie i enjoyed it way back when yeah i like that one oh god yeah i have not thought about that

movie in ages. What is that movie again? It's a Duploth brother joint. It's Jason Siegel and Ed Helms. Yes. Yes, it says I have actually have seen this. I just totally forgot about it. Do you guys know that Jason Segal Chelsea and I were looking at this up the other day has kind of like just left

acting? Yeah. Well, he had that TV show. What TV show? Oh, God, I'm going to forget the time. Your mother? No, it's another one. It's like it's like an Amazon or an AMC one and it's like Andre 3000. is in it okay it's it but that's the last thing i've seen him do did he like formally retire or just sort of like i don't know he like lives in upstate new york and writes like y a novels or

something good for him man yeah i i saw him the other day on pluto tv on an episode of cribs from mtv early early grids he wasn't even he was just hanging out he was just a background guy at uh who's the girl in that 70s show, not Milakunas, Laura. Laura Pripan. Yes, it was her house. And I guess they were dating maybe. So he was just hanging out. And he was like, weird. He wasn't even really addressed by the camera or anyone. Just her dude. Hey, babe. Hey, babe. Cribs is here. Oh my God. Dude, man, MTV's Cribs on Pluto TV is a journey. Because after that, they played an episode of Devin Swawa, Swawa. Sawah. Yeah. Sawa. I got to try to say sour with an accent and let's all get it. But Jason Swartzman was hanging

around his house and he was dressed like a 2002 nightmare with this fucking like baggy jeans, like a graphic t-shirt with a blazer. His long hair face. It was very, very interesting. Yeah. Pluto TV, the greatest thing that happened to me in quarantine easily. Absolutely. Easily. Yeah, but she, and this is a thing to just kick her out immediately but she's like, okay but you can't do this ever again and she's like, I understand, I'm a robot. Yeah. And then the next thing, the last kind of straw

is Ronda decides to make her breakfast because she's been so nice to her quote unquote. She's making her breakfast and she's like you know, if you do it this way, she's like, no, no, sit down, I'm just trying to make you breakfast, make you feel at home, she's like, wow, this is really nice. You're using one of my copper pans.

and she's like, yes. She's like, I'll clean it right after, I promise. And then, like, Rhonda takes a nap and, like, a bucket radon Chong shows up right in front of her with the pan. Like, what did you do to my pan? Dude, it's insane. I was like, she's going to hit her in the teeth with this thing. You dirty bird.

What did you do to my pan? Excellent, Chris. I just, and she's like, you should have soaked it, which, yeah, you got to soak that. You got to soak that shit, Rhonda? Soak it. But also like, I mean, I kind of wish she killed her here or it turned into like, or if they're like, it turned into a real like fucking like a born identity kind of fight between the two of them. Oh, they're both like activated somehow at the same time and they just start fucking super karate fighting each other.

Radhajong's got a copper frying pan and Rhonda rolls up a fucking magazine and uses it as a knife somehow. Oh, it's like, what the fuck was that soda break movie with Gina? Heywire. Heywire. Is it Gina Carano? It is so good. I just rewatched it during quarantine and it's amazing.

It holds up. A lot of good close quarters fight scenes in that movie. It's a good quarantine movie for that. By the way, Steve, Ray Don Chon, Chon does come back for two episodes later. Oh, does she ever?

The fight might happen. Oh, well, let me tell you. I don't want to spoil anything, but Rhonda at that point really has some reasons from trying to murder her. Two episodes, it's fucking crazy. But she just kicks her out.

She's like, hey, look, this isn't working. Because they get to kind of a screaming match about the pan. She's like, this isn't working, blah, blah, blah. You got to leave it. Yeah, I guess I do. And it's like, okay. Meanwhile, right after I clean my pan, dude. That's her fucking line right there.

Oh, my God. And poor Michael's like, look, I'm trying to get the names right on the door. Is she your roommate? Is she not your roommate? I had to lose Sandy's label. I got to make all these labels. I'm cutting all these little strips of white paper and book all.

Oh, she's got a P.O. Bucks. A greek! Oh, great. Francis Hallberg lives here. You know what? I'm just going to put her in his Francis Haar. That's all. I'll put her in his Francis Ha!

Great movie. That was one of my quarantine rewatches. A real fun one. Makes you miss summer in New York City, which I do. That's with the show. If you watch the incredible first season of High Fidelity on Hulu, that is a

Primo New York in warm weather show and God damn. It's New York? Yeah, it's set in Brooklyn. It's fucking awesome. I was always just assuming Chicago. No, no. Transplanted to Brooklyn. Fucking great. Cannot recommend it enough. The one thing I don't get about the High Fidelity show is you have Who's the lead in that? I keep forgetting her name.

Zoe Kravitz. Zoe Kravitz. Who is Lisa Bonaise's daughter, right? Yeah. Why not have her play Lisa Bonnet's daughter and somehow she got pregnant with John Cusack, that's your show. No, it's not your show. And I'll tell you right now, why? Because that means there's some fucking obnoxious possibility that John Cusack's going to sashay through

that frame, and I don't need to see that on this show. But it's a fun sequel idea, I think. I don't know. It's kind of weird. But she's like, she's, her nickname is Rob, like she's playing that character. You know, I got it to, it is well worth your time. I think it's quite great.

Anyway. I'm just saying, if You're going to have new roommates. You've got to give me some notice. I'm real busy at the hospital. Well, he's got, they have like nothing to really do this episode. At all. They're both like strung along to the Allison storyline because like. Which we can get to do now because that's the last of it.

Well, you guys are forgetting that Michael was retiling some of the roof there. Well, that's, that's, yeah, that's what I wanted to get to, dude. Because dude, how fucking ridiculous and on the nose is this? Like, they're trying to like do this roof repair. Cine, he's like, yeah, come on, Billy, get me another couple of roof tiles. Oh, whoa. And there's like, the storm brewing.

And, like, I was like, come on, man. Of course the storm's coming to Melrose place. It's like a fake storm, too, and it looks terrifying off the distance. It looks so fucked up. Now, like I throne is on his way. The traveler has arrived. You have been

summoned Micromansini. You, hold on. Sandy has left before I could collect. my tribute I will rain a storm upon the Michael Mancini the lengths of which you never seen and now Ray Don Chong has left

Damn you Michael Mancini Well now you're going to fix this roof In the rain Listen kids Melroo here I told you when you moved in this certain date It Rain's blood I knew that I knew that Malachi we agreed on a week's notice

A week's notice a week's notice. Oh, you must read the language of your contract again with me, Mel. All of your leases state I can rain blood whatever I please. No honor. No honor whatsoever. No honor between

you demons and me. Well, I am the devil. But so Allison's storyline such as it is, we ended last week on a cliffhanger because it was Allison, Allison, Allison say something. I'm Keith, Allison. You're frozen like we're in some sort of soap up.

But she, we start up and he's still doing that. And she finally is like, wow, Keith, that sounds amazing. Let's have sex again. Hey, Keith, let's have sex. No, Allison, toilet flush. And she comes back to Melrose Place and Billy's like, I've been waiting up all night for you because I'm a fucking nightmare. And she's like, why did you do that?

Yeah, it's, it's 1 a.m. she says. He said I waited up. It was the next morning. He's like, I waited up to one o'clock in the morning waiting for you. And it's like, okay, no one asked you to do that. There's a crazy thing where she's just like, she's trying to talk to him about like, you know,

Keith is this, Keith is that, you know, he's successful, he's this, he's that, the other thing. You know, he's the best in bed. And like she keeps going on that is like, you know, Billy, don't you have anything to say? And he's like, oh, I was still working on the best. Best in bed, Allison. Best in bed, Allison.

I guess we're just going to disrespect your vibrator now. That's fine. That's just fine, fine, Allison. Oh, yeah, I had Jake picked the lock and I was playing with it. I named him Larry, Allison. Now is Larry the vibrator.

We'll have to throw Larry in the garbage, then, because Keith is here. Here's your fucking pig slip, Larry. He was my best friend, Allison. my best friend here I even I I I glued some googly eyes on him so he could talk to me look and then when you turn him on his eyes dance bulls yeah I glued it on with my own human glue oh man Larry's dancing allison boz he spins around like the Tasmanian devil yeah you better not use it alison you might get pregnant

I am incredibly lonely Allison what do you mean you're out of deeds he needs D's he needs them to live Allison but she's like you know what Billy stay out of you don't understand between she's overwhelmed she's like oh my god keeps leaving his wife can you believe it and he's like well that's like kind of terrible

and it's like what do you mean it's like well think about that for even a second she or he calls her like a dysfunctional hallmark card or something like that which is like again like you shouldn't have to get your roommate to sign off on your boyfriend if that's the case it's time to get a new roommate yeah but everyone's kind of telling her the same thing dude which is like listen you don't want to be the other person here what's so interesting about this it's like obviously all these characters are very morally bankrupt you know not a non-sinner among them and then they're

being very high ground about the morality of marriage. Which I agree with you there because they're just fucking around. Who cares? But it is kind of weird. The weird part about Allison is she's so cavalier about this information. She just knows

she kind of has no shame. Like you know what I mean? Like I would if I was having an affair with a married woman I wouldn't be like guys and she's got a fucking husband who's got who has a disability. It's awesome you guys. Yeah. Yeah. True. You know what I mean?

Like, but she, but she, Billy, again, is a nightmare because during this fucking tile scene, which you're talking about for 20 minutes, is, uh, he's like, he's just spilling the beans, timer on. So, so guess what Allison's doing right now, guys? And it's like, I don't know, it's nobody's fucking business. That's the other thing, dude, you got to stop talking about it. Like, we cut to this fucking roof fixing scene. It's like, all right, so then get this, after they 69, are you still with me here? Then Keith decides he's not quite finished yet. And it's just like, dude, they don't need the play-by-play, you're given way too much information that, like, clearly she should have learned from now, you know, by now that she shouldn't give this information to Billy in the first place. We should get, like, Billy complaining about it just like that, and it's just a close-up of his face, and it pans out, and he's driving some random person in the taxi, just going through it.

No, no, Jane, I got it from an inside source. His name is Larry. and then Allison and Keith and she's behind on our advertising stuff like L-A-X please L-A-X Can I just pump the brakes Just half a push here and acknowledge Chris Cabin's inside source joke right there

That didn't get enough laps We're talking about a vibrator Apologies Whatever So then it's the rainy night Allison comes back She confronts Jane confronts her

when she's trying to get the mail and she's like, isn't it great? He's leaving his wife and Jane is like, I thought I've been pretty clear that I'm not super thrilled about this relationship as I am a wife. Yeah, she's got the fucking memory of you know, I don't even know what,

hummingbird. Like Allison cannot recognize like, oh, they've kind of already shunned me about this. The last two times I told them I was going to break up with Keith. or when I told them that Keith was going to leave his wife. He's leaving his wife. So that's great.

She's like, well, yeah, you know, there's another woman involved and, you know, blah, blah, blah. And she's like, well, stay out of it, Jane. And she comes back. She's soaking wet because it's raining. My favorite shot in this episode is right here. It's like right as they're wrapping up their argument outside in the rain. It cuts to inside Allison's apartment. And it's Billy just watching TV.

And like, they're outside. And it's just like him totally not noticing. what they're doing at all. And it reminded me of the fucking great Simpson's sight gag of Homer, it's getting pretty bad out there. Could you check on the boys? And Homer, like, looks out the window and they're fighting and he's like, they're fine.

Like, he's just sitting there like, oh, there's a huge argument happening right outside in the middle of a storm. I'm just going to keep watching cartoon. That's okay. But she comes in and a huff. She's totally sucking wet. Oh, good. You're already wet. Would you mind going down to the store and getting some takeout? I am starving. God damn

it. What an ass. What a horse's ass. And there are times in this episode where I'm like, I'm sitting here and watching, I'm like, you know what, Billy? Like, what you're saying to her right here is actually correct. Like, even though you're Billy Campbell, you have good points here and there. And then he does one of these like, well, you're already wet. How about some Chinese

food? Get your ass back out there. Allison, you didn't put any food in my ball before you left. I would have loved it to watch Allison actually like the camera goes with her and she goes and gets the stuff. Comes back. The whole place is on fire. trying to warm up

it's cold out there is that Manchester by the sea yes there you go excellent but she's like no she calls up Keith and she's like

I'm leaving I'm gonna hang out with Keith and then Keith is like oh sorry I'll sit my wife is here so and here's the thing that fucking coward

that fucking marine biologist coward because he doesn't say that dude He calls up and is just like, oh, well, you said you were getting your things, eh? Well, Alison, I'm going to have to cancel on that. No reason, but I got to go. And like the shot you see is, like, Keith is on the phone.

And you don't even see this woman's face, Lily, the wife. She's just like walking around in the background of the frame, like looking at pictures and like just analyzing the house or something like that. And it's just like, come on, you fucking cow. She's just like packing, sort of, or picking stuff. I was like, oh, it's not a great time. And I kind of just want her to be, like, in the background, what's her name? I want to know her name.

Uh, yeah. No, no, just working late, babe. Uh, talk to you soon. Got, uh, a lot of microbes to look at under the old microscope. You son of a bitch. Oh, fucking kill her. What's her name? Is that a whore on that phone?

Is that a whore on that phone? Mel Rowe, you have a whore living in a name. Apartment 312. Someone talking about me. I heard of a horror an apartment 312. What? You're talking about it. Alethon, got it. But so he hangs up. And then later he winds up coming the same night

to her apartment and is like, oh, listen Allison, I finally did it. And then she kicks me out of my own house. Can you believe it? Mind if I stay here for a couple days because I'm afraid of her. And Billy is like, oh, that's not okay. And Allison's like, of course it is. You know, blah, blah, blah.

there's this great exchange between the two of them well Allison's like oh Billy will lend you some clothes it's fine he's like oh I'm not gonna fit he's like six four four and I'm like five foot one

and she's like oh he's like it's not okay Allison what if his wife comes here and kills us I'm like really Billy I don't know man I yeah

hey listen I don't fucking know Keith I don't know fucking Lily all I know is my roommate is the unwelcome third person in this marriage? Yeah, I don't know dude. Allison, Allison, I saw fatal attraction four years ago

and I haven't felt safe stay sted. The most terrifying part about this scene, though, is that as Keith is knocking on the door, like, you know, Allison and Billy have decided to, like, stay in for the night. What is this can of dog food

that he's heating up on the fucking stove, like Hormel Chili or something? I'm so quino, on B3. I want to do it's a quino fit for I can't get quino Exactly dude that guy heating up Anything on a stove look out man I'd rather be out in the fucking rain

Also call for Chinese food also doesn't have to go get it You know what I mean like just do it Yeah he's not trying to keep the kids warm He's just trying to put the beeferino on And that's what causes the fire A rainstorm like the one that they're pretending they're having in Los Angeles

dude that better be like a fucking 40% tip because that delivery guy he may never even driven in the rain before who knows. But yeah, so now he's staying with her and like Billy's making new rail and comfortable the next morning. Whoa, wait, wait, wait, hang on.

We got to talk about another Allison being a piece of shit thing. He is all soaked and she's like, oh, go take a shower and whatnot. And while he's in the shower, she's like sorting through the laundry and his fucking wallet falls out. And then she starts like looking

through it and like flips up the driver's license flap and there's a photo of him and Lily, which you know, whatever. Like, he's not even divorced yet, but like, you shouldn't be looking through his wallet. Yeah, it's true. And then... I let it go. She should have taken the credit card, but

like, if you're just looking at the picture, fine. We also have a totally disgusting fucking Keith towel dropped. Did everybody catch that? No. So, like he walks... On the floor, like an barbarian? Yes, just like one. Worse, dude. He walks into the room and she's like, ooh, better put his wallet away. And he walks into the room after the shower.

And he's like, it's basically, like you see anything you like kind of exchange they start making out and the cut is like on the floor from behind him the towel falls and only then does he use his foot to close the door yeah

god damn it yeah the male butt cheeks now god damn it yeah babe that's right I washed everything but my balls let's go this is the worst thing he's ever done um Allison then has a nightmare about Keith's wife or whatever

which also like here's the thing Beverly's 9-2-0 started in 90 this is 92 it's been two or three seasons of Beverly L's 9-0 and I can and I know for a fact they do the fantasy thing less and less on 902-0 so realize that this thing does not work in this show I just do not have it

I thought this implied that Keith murdered the wife and this was her ghost I don't think as off the rails as this show gets it ever dabbles into the paranormal like that that's too bad Although that would be better because Allison could go like investigate, might have

some interesting things going on in this show for one. It turns out like... Come along and say, you know, we need... We're looking for one Melichai throne. Oh, shit. It's a haunted apartment complex, Scully. Yeah, Melrose was played by Wallace Sean.

I think he's hiding something. Oh, nothing to see here. Just a totally professional and well-kept apartment complex. Welcome to Melrose, please. I'm definitely not the devil The pool is red Scully What do you think that could mean?

Mulder, anybody can spill that much cranberries juice into a pool He pranced away on goat legs Surely there's an explanation Mulder Look here Scully Another tenant, Sandy went missing They said that she joined a soap opera But it doesn't exist

She got sucked into the television Scully Sandy has to come out Come back and she's like the girl from the ring. They summon her back to the world of the living. Scully, I did some research and it turns out that soap opera was canceled 30 years ago. Ooh, you got seven days, child.

Oh, actually, you know what? I'm busy next Thursday. See, you got eight. Ooh, I'm doing a favor for you, child. A little demon favor. I like that because, see, it's an L.A. girl, so they'd be flaky. Yes, exactly. Who was that supposed to be Tuesday? Sorry. I missed it.

Ooh, I'm all sorts of backed up with my hauntins, y'all. Ever since I got sucked into the TV, Malo said, do you want to be on TV? I just didn't know what the price was, y'all. He put me in touch with his super evil gin, and he granted my wish. I got more than our bargain for, y'all. Bye. Yeah, Deborah Harry's in here with me. Bye, everybody. oh yes sandy you will spend the rest of eternity with debby hey on a shitty soap opera that can only be seen from belrose place and shooters

um coming from shooters shooters has a civic tv playing at all times it's coming from this weird station in pittsburgh i don't know i feel like if you looked at shooters in the cold light of day it'd be like at the end of dust till dawn where it's a mayan temple or whatever yeah oh if you just took a took a look around back. Exactly. So, like, it's just a scene where Allison is talking to Keith's wife and it's very uncomfortable and she's like, kind of understanding what she might be doing might be sort of kind of wrong. And which is fucking three episodes too late. The next morning, she's like, oh, Billy, I didn't sleep well. I was like, yeah, I could hear it.

And she's like, you know what we need? It's like, thicker walls. And it's like, good Lord, dude. I got it. You listen to me. Fuck. Can we talk for a minute? I'm tired of hearing you

fuck with Keith. I'm thinking tired of you and Larry hanging out if you know what I mean, God damn it. I want him to go full William Friedkin's bug and just start like stapling egg carts to his wall to insulate it. I'm like, that's not the only way all right. All right

Allison, we're going to thud each other on fire, right? We're all living at William Friedkin's bug these days. Oh, I'm fucking weeks away from dowsing myself with gasoline. Just bought a bunch of new aluminum foil. So, Keith is like, you know what we need? And that's what he says, you know what you need?

And then that's a little wall. It's like, we need to get out of here for a little while. Let's go camping, babe. And she's like, cool. Also, we don't know. Like, she was like five seconds away from getting fired. I don't know. Is it Monday?

Is it Saturday? What are we talking here? This is an interesting episode because it's Melrose place on the weekend. The episode, seriously, the episode straight up starts on a Friday. when the rain happens and Allison's like when she picks up the phone with Keith she's like oh hey yeah I just got home from work blah blah blah

and then by the time Rhonda is making breakfast for Carrie they definitely mention that it's like Sunday morning Oh okay so they go camping they do a little like Saturday into Sunday kind of a thing So they're camping and they were just hanging out by the fire

here and this is when like he's just like oh, you know, we got the rest of our lives to plan. Now, hey, guess what? You know what's even better than breaking up my marriage? Now we're in a super committed relationship. Sorry. And she's like, oh, this sucks.

Dude, it fucking totally sucks. He has some line about like, well, you know, Allison, we've got a lot of future to fill. And I'm like, how about you get fucking divorced? Exactly. Why don't you start filling your life with that? And he's talking. And she's like, well, what do you? Something, something about his parents.

And he's like, oh, you know, they're just. They've got one of those annoyingly long marriages that it's like, yeah, I got it. Mr. Bigshot never cheated on his wife. Sorry, dad. My dad, get this, Allison, my dad is such a loser. He's never had an extramarital affair. Can you believe it?

And my mother neither. What a bunch of squares? This is that crazy. Anyway, I'm moving in with you. I am moving in with you. Because he's definitely like, you're totally right, dude, because he's like, oh, you know, we got to get you a new roommate. You got to fucking get out of this.

why don't you why don't we move in together it's like whoa whoa whoa why don't you get a divorce well my favorite part is when like they they're having this little talk between themselves and he's like um like she Allison's asking him like what what have you have what have you found with me I know what I found in you and he and she's like have you found love and he's like no he's like have you found like compassion no I found depravity oh dude I'm like to leave now get out of there where you are. Capital B, capital S, butt stuff. That's what we're talking about. Yep. Yep. I found I found some a little lady who's going to go all the way. I always wanted to try rim and now I'm there, man. I know just by looking at you that I could try that, you wouldn't say a single thing. And he's also trying to get her away from Billy here. He's like, you know, he's not even like an adult. He's like a big kid. I'm like, fucking thank you, Keith. Thank you. Meanwhile, we miss the scene when they're talking about.

about going camping and billy's like thicker walls he is wearing and i took a picture of this on my fucking twitter he is wearing denim overalls no under shirt and a fucking flat old baseball shirt over it like he's on salute your shorts it's like dude you're a grown man the fucking boo radley special question question if we know months from now when hopefully things are a little safer out there a little more okay to be out in public and whatnot. If there's any kind of like Halloween thing, like we do a

Halloween show, maybe we do this for the Salem show if it happens. I don't think it would be exactly an appropriate place for it, so maybe not. But can we go for Halloween as different Billy Campbell outfits? Because it would be cool because people would be like, who are you, the little rascals? It's true. No, dude, if I'm wearing overalls without a shirt underneath, like, oh, what are you, Earthquake from the WWF?

RIPD, probably. Or Earl of Tojam and Earl. Yeah, you got to have a really good body to be able to pull off the, the, no undershirt with the overalls. But I guess, yeah, otherwise you're a hog farmer. Yes, exactly. What do you guys, Texas chainsaw mask? But, like, she's like, oh, wow, Keith. And he asked her about her family.

and she's like, oh, you know, nothing. And he's like, you want to go for a hike? And she's like, it's like really incredibly late. Dude, he, he says a midnight hike and then follows it up with like, dangerous, scary. And I was like, Allison, this man is going to kill you. Yeah, exactly. Hiking at midnight? I don't know about that.

Fine, fine, fine. We'll go for a boat ride and stand by love. The best case scenario is you get attacked by a mountain lion. Seriously. The worst case is he's killing you. I wanted to turn it over to resident hiking expert, Eric Siska. You're going on midnight hikes, dude? Absolutely not.

I mean, they do sell certain equipment you could use for a night, you know, night hiking like little lights you could put on your fucking forehead. But it's just, I think it's let the animals have that time. Exactly, dude. That's the time for the bears. Yes, they let the nocturnal motherfuckers handle that. Although I guess you could just. like piss in the middle of the trail that way.

You don't got to go looking for a place to go. You can just piss right there. Yeah, if you get the right trail, you can do that. Okay. Even in the daytime. There's some, you know, less popular ones. So if you want to go to a piss hike, Chris. Okay. I was going to say. Alexis guided piss hikes.

You're going to work at the campfire, Chris. And I'm like, come on, let's go for a piss hike. You're going to want to piss here. This is one of the great places to piss. Welcome back to piss hike on the travel channel. I'd be into it. So whatever, she just kind of brushes him off the next morning. She's like, look, I just want to go back. And he's like, can I just trout for breakfast? Thank you. And I was going to ask resident camping expert Steve Sadek. Dude, you eating fish for breakfast or what?

Dude, what are we doing with this? He's like, oh, here, you ever have trout for breakfast, Allison, look at this. Yay. And I'm just like, dude, what? Hope you enjoy. fucking cleaning it. It's six o'clock in the morning. Better clean this fucking fish for breakfast. Oh, a couple of these are still flip-flaping around, huh? Well, hey, Allison, you haven't had a morning piss yet. Why don't you slap these against a rock? Allison, my wife wouldn't have missed those bones.

Alice, Allison, the guts are where all the nutrients are. You want to eat them first. And the eyes as well. What do you do? What are you fucking camping with Oswald Cobblepot fish for breakfast? Yeah, we're rough in it. Allison, I'm going to show you my French flipper trick. If Keith and Allison had a baby, they'd have to throw it over a bridge too.

On Christmas. Oh, I love it. Whatever the fuck ever, she winds up going back and she's like, Billy, you know, I think, I know we've had this conversation six times already, but I think I'm ready to finally break it off with Keith. It's like, oh, why? And she gives the most chilling and bizarre monologue I've ever heard. And it is, as we were texting earlier, it is not within Courtney Thorne-Smith's strengths as an actress to give whatever this kind of monologue is.

She's not up for it. She's not there. It's basically this thing wherein like, oh, my. And again, look, the weirdest thing is she's like, you know, we were talking and Keith talked about his family. And then I started thinking about my family. And you know what? I remembered that my dad cheated on my mom all the time. And it took me

like, I'm a fuck, like, what are you a bumblebee? How do you not know this when you're actually cheating with somebody that you're like, oh, wow, this is what my dad, you know, this is what I used to hate as a kid until somebody reminds you, you have parents? Yeah, I don't know. It seems like, you know, she has gone out of her way to repress it kind of a thing.

Repress, like forget about her parents throughout the run of this show. That's a good point. It's always been brushed up. I mean, run over the show. It's, you know, 14 episodes. But it's been a lot of like, never mind kind of a thing. So basically what we learn is that his dad cheated on her mom all the time.

And he would have all these girlfriends. And she has this weird thing where it's like, you know, I would think about his girlfriends. And I would just be jealous of them because they have all this attention from my dad. I wanted to be them. And I'm like, I don't know about this one, guys. So you get Julianne Moore in there. She can handle them. exactly she can make that really

disturbing and good and like there's something there but just she doesn't have it no she just doesn't have it she does not and like that's kind of the thing and Billy's like oh well there's a stupid thing where oh oh hot chocolate dog beep poop hot chocolate

express she's like earlier on she's like oh I had this dream about Keith's wife and I was like oh Allison I didn't know you were so kinky holy shit gonna have to change all of my masturbation fantasies around now you just bumped up to Tuesday

and he's she's like well I'm finally going to break up with Keith and Billy doesn't say I'll fucking believe it when I see it which is what he should say but he doesn't and she does go to Keith in the evening though there is a one scene it's just weird she goes to see it's before

they go camping she goes to see Keith's wife in the wild and like fucking peels out when she looks at her and meanwhile Keith's wife is picking up the newspaper like James Gadelphidi and Soprados. Like just walking out of the bathroom. It's kind of insane because it's like if you really are like picking stuff up to leave this dude and like he says something about like she's planning to go to San Diego or whatever. Are you casually just going out in the morning to get the paper and check the news?

No your business. Yeah, you're right. But she does go back to Keith's here and she kind of, she finally breaks up with him. She's like, look, but Allison, I broke up with my wife for you. which is like, I never asked you to do that. Like, that's on you, dude, yada, yada, yada. He does, I think it's a side of things to come. If I remember this properly, he gives her a hard grab here, which is a little uncomfortable.

Yeah, there's a hard grab. I don't remember if there's more to come with that hard grab, but this alone, I was like, ooh, hard grab. That's bad news. You never want a hard grab. Well, yeah, and if this is going anywhere other than, like, maybe we're going to get together or maybe we're not, you would imagine it's going to have to go somewhere like that. exactly and you know basically he's devastated she's like you know we're done for good

and then she goes back to billy's billy and she's like better get the hot chocolate billy i broke up with keithy fucking babies like what what the fuck bristle you broke up you're the winner you're the winner alison congratulations like i need my i need my sugar treat could you give me my sugar treat i just broke up a family I just found the line It's really dumb She goes She closes the door behind her and goes

Fire up the hot chocolate Jesus Christ Like can we pretend Like we're not 17 years old For two seconds And someone asked for a glass of wine A fucking A couple of fingers of whiskey or something

Give me a stiff drink dude Like you're not the fucking golden girls Dude put the cheesecake back in the fucking fridge Billy let's go on the lun eye And talk about this Go get some uppers from Mel Rowe. You know he's got it. Quick question. Yeah, I do.

Quick question. I was thinking about this. When we saw a lot of Ronda's apartment, it looks a lot like Allison's, and I'm wondering if it's the same apartment. They just dress it up differently. I believe it is. But the giveaway, I guess, or maybe this is, they were just, they bought all the same tile when they built these places. But the counters are the exact same color. Yes. Like the, um, the countertops rather. Right. I think they're just redressing the set is my guess. Yeah. Especially, And that's why it's the genius, kind of, in a way, of setting a show in an apartment complex, like, you know. Because, like, I remember when we were looking at this apartment in the building we're in now, you know, we saw other apartments.

Oh, well, I'll tell you in just a second. It's one, two, three, four, fake street. No, but, like, you know, we looked in the other apartment. And we all have the same fixtures and the same, you know, countertops and whatnot like that. So it's kind of genius then if they do this. you got to do is a set designer. It's kind of like shift some furniture around position things a little differently, shoot it from different angles. And bam, bam, boom, you got yourself like six apartments and one. You're striking the set. You're not striking. Yeah. So, but like, yeah, she just,

she ends in a big hug with Billy where she's weeping and it's really beautiful. Probably the biggest soap opera ending we've had as far as just like an explosive cry ending the episode. Oh, and that's it. I mean, I don't think that's it for Allison and Keith. I don't think so guys. Did we mention Ray Dong Chong with the pan thing that ending? Oh yeah. Yeah, basically she just gets kicked out because she was like being crazy with the pan.

Yeah. And it's actually, I did appreciate the fact that Rhonda is like, you know what, Carrie? I don't think that this is working out. And she's like, you know what? Yeah, I don't either. You know, it's just like that's it. Okay. Although, hoho, those two episodes

where she comes back later this season, look out below. drama alert no Keith in the next episode it seems oh thank God it seems I'm looking it up right now I mean

we're not done no yeah he's coming back but at least we get a week's reprieve next week so he's going to come back in a big bad way right like a super villain yeah dude he's he's trying to separate California

from the rest of the continent Keith and all of his sentient dolphins has Melrose place surrounded oh shit dude day the Dolphin. Suddenly has an eye patch for some reason. Yeah, exactly. Or not Day of the Dolphin.

What is that Kurt Russell or Kirk Douglas movie? Oh, fuck. There was a movie where like the dolphin was trained to assassinate. George. C. Scott. Yeah. Oh, it's George C. Scott. Okay. That's what I was thinking of. Is that called Day of the Dolph? That is Day of the Dolph. Also, William

Friedkin. To your Superman reference, Andrew. Billy Berg. Really? Yeah, I would not live in Billyberg. I'm the mayor, president, and the queen. You know, Billyburg rents skyrocketing now that they're not closing the L train. New York jokes. So I'll go around the horn hair as we always do.

It's the end of the week here. Are you excited to continue this journey? Any parting shots that we might not have gotten to? We'll get to Eric Siska first. Okay, yeah. It was a, it was not going to lie. It was tough day here in quarantine. Tough day.

Real tough day. But seeing all these people with their weird, weird problems, it perked me up a little bit. So yes, I'm excited. We'll keep going. We will. Christopher Cabin. Yeah, it's a good rain episode.

I always like to see some rain. I'm a big fan of rain. I'm a big fan of rain too. We were robbed of some rain this weekend. I kind of wanted it. Yeah, I like, I like it. I love it on TV too. I should say, Lily is played by Juliana Donald, who is in a tall glass of water classic brain donors. You know, I've never seen brain donors that I really should have. It's John Totoro trying to be Groucho Marx. It's quite entertaining. It's pretty funny. Wait, so Eric Siska said it's pretty funny. But I mean, I hear someone else is trying to do groucho. It's, it's successfully funny. It's sort of, yeah, it's, it's them doing like, It's Marks Brothers slash Three Stooges-esque comedy, but it's made in like the early 90s or late 80s.

92, 93, I think. And it really, it kind of succeeds in like the naked gun kind of way. Yeah. Is it a parody movie in that way, though, or no? It's not, they don't address anything like that. It's basically just three guys and their outlandish antics. Nancy Marshand is like the Dowager. Okay.

Okay. I have not seen this since. college, but I remember it being funny, but I don't know. It got a lot of play when I was young. Also, I'm stupid. The Day of the Dolphin is not William Freak and it's Mike Nichols. Oh, that's right. Okay. Yeah, that rings a bell now. Yeah. So, that was Chris Cabin.

Andrew Juven, anything you want to get to here? I will just, again, you know, quarantine's probably going to be going. I think we're going to get to these other Radon Chong episodes. There's only two. It's fucking crazy. It's, At this point, Ronda has, like, found a man that she really loves. And it's Ray Don Chon trying to fucking edge in on that.

Oh, nice. Kind of great. But she no longer lives at Mel Rose place? No, she's moved out after this episode. Because next episode, you guys, we welcome to the program, Daphne Zuniga, in the role of Joe Reynolds, the mysterious photographer who Jake quickly becomes pretty smitten with. Now I forget, is she the only cast member of Spaceballs to join?

Because John Candy is dead at this point. I don't think Rick Moranis ever appeared. Joan Rivers, no. Joan Rivers, wait. Oh, actually, was she Billy's grandma? No, definitely not. Is Mel Brooks just showing up for some reason? Oh, Mel Brooks is actually a confirmed, accredited season seven cast member.

I forgot about that. Interesting. You're totally right, Chris, I completely forgot about that. Shop owner, a friendly shop owner. yeah that's gonna I don't give a shit I mean this episode it was a tough day in quarantine

for fucking sure we always do Melrose place on Monday so it's it's a little bit it's getting up that great big hill of life yeah no you're not wrong always tough on Mondays oh Monday again huh that's fantastic cool yeah that's why the

the 92 of those are always chipper because you do those on Fridays for the most part but yeah so this is a tough one in general I mean I think that we're done with Keith a little bit. I do, there's some good stuff here. I kind of miss Michael and Jane to be quite honest. I'll be there. I'll be the one to say it. Well, it's kind of amazing. The one thing we didn't address in the episode is just how there is a, in the conversation between Allison and Jane. It's not the rain argument. It's right when she's like, Allison is washing a sleeping bag before she goes on the camping trip with Keith. And they're both doing laundry at the same. time and they really kind of have it out right here and it's basically like

Allison being like are you trying to project your own marital fears on my relationship and she's like I just like to think that you know through good storms and bad storms or whatever the fuck you know she decides to use as an analogy you know

Jane's like I like to think that if a married couple just sticks to it they're going to come out the other end and you know it's going to be some transcendent experience blah blah and I'm like your husband turns into a fucking maniac sooner than you think lady so strap in for that Michael Mancini I wish uh yeah that's yeah that's kind of it

um I will say we've got a ton of great stuff on the Patreon if you're looking to do stuff this weekend we've got a a feature length commentary on the film Cats a sinkable commentary on the film Cats we've got probably longer than the movie episode on uh uh no country for old men that just dropped a little while ago we've got coming up next week, we will be dropping

our episode, Side Order of Slee's episode on Basketcase. That's going to be dope. Oh, yeah. Animation Day Nation and Scooby-Doo. We've got a next, I think, coming out this week, ton, ton of shit. It's a lot of stuff. We offer a lot of things for our beloved Patreon subscribers. Absolutely. We'll see you

next week. Until next time, I have been Steven Saneck. Andrew Jupin. Eric Siska. Chris Gavin. Take it easy and remain indoors and please wear a fucking mask. Thank you. That was a HitGum podcast.