We Hate Movies - MELR0210 #29 - 90210 "East Side Story"

Episode Date: July 2, 2020

On this week's MELR0210, the gang is chatting about the ridiculous Beverly Hills, 90210 episode, "East Side Story"! Originally airing February 14th, 1991, this episode features Brandon being "shockingly" ignorant about race relations in Los Angeles, Jim and Cindy throwing a party for a new client, Brenda and the gang getting some free bathing suits, David Silver bothering M.C. Hammer's receptionist, and yet another Brandon Girl-of-the-Week we'll never see again! WHM is donating 100% of our 2020 merch income to causes fighting for racial justice. For more information on how you can pitch in, head over to our website. MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this more-than-necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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If you're not in love, send it back for a full refund. No return shipping, no restocking fees, every penny back. Shop now at washable sofas.com. Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply. This is a headgum podcast. Hello, and welcome to another edition of Melro Hello and welcome to another edition of Melro 210 a quarantine side show of the we hate movies podcast wherein we talk about Melrose Place and Beverly Hills 920101. If you look around your dank and dreary apartment

and realize it's Thursday, not Monday, I wouldn't be shocked because who the fuck knows what time is anymore? Well, first, I have a schedule on us, but I do want to introduce my friends so they can talk because they have to weirdly be silent. Until you are properly introduced. All right, let me just cut the mask. I cut the tape off of Eric Siska.

Howdy, partner. Let me remove Chris's tape. He's got, his address is... Shut, shut up. You shut up. Oh, hoi, hoi. Finally, let me just reveal. Let me kick him in the ribs a couple times.

Andrew Jupin. Yo! No. you will realize today is Thursday and not Monday. That is because we're kind of a bit overworked here at the We Hate Movies podcast and are trying to realize how to do stuff more reasonably and give ourselves an August break, which you know we like to do because it's the only time of the year we stop recording. But the good and the bad news for you,

good news is we're going to be releasing full episodes, brand new episodes of We Hate Movies on Tuesdays all throughout August, including our 500th episode Holy shit which is going to knock your fucking socks off so that's no live apps because we don't have any to drop FYI

which is kind of how we've been doing that the last couple years and we're going to do some reruns anymore so yada yada yada that's what we're doing so brand new episodes on Tuesdays Melro 210 will continue throughout the month of July but now we're doing an alternating schedule

on Thursdays we'll do on and off Melrose Place and Beverly L's 902 and O, starting today with Beverly Hills 902 and O. And sadly, we will actually be hiatusing this show at the end of July, again, to sort of give ourselves some room. We also got a tour coming up in late September that we're really, really excited about, that we really hope will happen. That's right. But this show will return after that hiatus at some point on Patreon.

None of those details are actually sorted out yet. However, we do know that you guys love this show. the support has been awesome. This has been so much fun. We have to continue this somehow, but that has not been figured out, but it will return on Patreon for sure. But all throughout July, you can expect a brand new episode on Thursday. One week, it's going to be Bill 902 and O. One week it'll be Melrose Place. So how does that sound, guys? Is that okay? Oh, that sounds great to me. Oh, you were asking the folks on home. Yeah. Well, they better be cool with it because otherwise, I mean, you know, I don't know what to tell you.

Quiet down. Let's let them have a chance to speak. Yeah, that's true. Okay. Could you take the gun from my temple, please? No. Oh, fuck it. Let's get into it. We are talking about Eastside Story, a 902.10 that is completely ponderous. It aired originally on Valentine's Day, February 14th, 1991. Wait, wait, wait, was that the sound of Valentine's Day? Valentine's Day.

Cupid got old. yeah yeah don't smoke kins these are just normal arrows now yeah i just shoot him in the heart and they die yeah he didn't come down on a cloud he came down on a cloud of smoke car exhaust it is your standard 902 on oh horror shit where brandon falls in love with a girl and everyone has to eat shit

and i cannot stand it including her yeah oh she eats a fucking boatload of shit dude like fucking bif tannin. And all these women, it's always like, oh, I'm going to remember you forever. Next week. What? Yeah. No longer. Who cares? Who gives you shit? At some point Brenda gives him a little shit. She's like, you know,

you've been fawning over Carla this whole week and, you know, she said something to the effect of like, ever since you got the Beverly Hills you keep falling in love with these women that are your one true love and then you forget about them. And I'm like, fucking finally. Yeah, dude, I could have used this

telling off a few weeks back. Brenda. It is fantastic. We start with Brandon just sort of bike riding a bit. This was interesting because this was one of the things we were possibly, well, we were like pondering a few weeks ago

because there was the episode where he is busted for drunk driving and he loses his license for a period of time. And then we were criticizing the show because the very next episode he is driving again. Now he does drive in this episode also. But I was like I was just thinking

like you could have just taken this right here, this scene of him riding the bike and put it in that other episode. It doesn't have anything to do with anything for the episode itself, you know. It's a super duper garden state ass opening. There's this like wistful like acoustic music going on. He's just like looking at the

houses on his block. It's really stupid. And I just like other than like him like us confirming that he's on a bike now. I don't know why it's here. No, it's useless. I mean it's just sort of like this is how we decided. Maybe they realized they didn't have enough

time to fill this week. So they're like, oh shit. It's a slice of life. It's like, this is what kids do in the suburbs. They ride bicycles or whatever. They look at houses. Well, it's also like a way that you can contrast later in the episode when he drives Carla back to East L.A. Because there again,

he's looking at things on the street and, you know, ignorantly noticing how different they are and doesn't understand why. But so it's just like to call back to this opening shot where he's riding his bike and looking at stuff on the street and it's like oh look at all these rich white people in these houses

la la la not a day laborer in sight except for all of them working on me he's like dude we'll get into that fucking what he has to be explained give me a break he gets to his house and there's some because I know Chris Cabin loves the national

there's a secret meeting in the basement of his brain no there's a secret meeting it is in the living room it's Jim Walsh and Cindy and Anna and some dude and he goes upstairs. He's like, what the hell's going on, Bryn? Are they firing Anna? Oh, that's right. He's like, oh, they're talking with Anna and another man. She must be

getting hosed right now. I've got a speech to make to dad. One too many mystery meat enchiladas, huh, Bryn? Oh, man, the mystery meat comment. And she's like, oh, I'm so excited. We're throwing a party in a couple of days for Chick Schneider, the legendary designer. And he's like, Chick Schneider. Chik Schneider. Bikini King of Santa Cruz.

I needed a Chick Schneider episode. Is this a real guy? No, I don't think so. No, but it's funny because that name like Chick Schneider, it sounds like if you were watching, like, there's a couple of these on Amazon Prime, like, really cheap-ass garbage television documentaries about the Marx brothers. and like you'd come across one and it was like oh and then in you know 1913 Groucho and Harpo met Chick Schneider on Broadway

you know doing comedy or something like it's just it's such a weird old show business name there's a weird Cindy I think says his other name is C.S. Schneider oh I'm like what that's a Robux ass name what the fuck like just say yeah dude cat shit Snyder

but she's like oh he's like the bikini king of Santa cruise and he's got all this beach where they're going to throw a party in our shitty house I mean not a shitty house, it's a nice house but like I don't know there's other places to throw this party anyways but he's going to give us all free

clothes really cool and then they get called down and Cindy and Jim explain that this guy is Richard he is Anna's cousin or uncle or some I think it's a cousin Richard Rodriguez who is

introducing them to there will be having a woman, this girl, Carla, using their address as a fake address so that she can get into school because she got into trouble in East L.A., what with the gangs, end of the drugs. Yeah, there is a fucking, there is a line to beat the band

right here in this scene where they're like, oh, when they introduce Richard to the kids, they're like, you know, oh, you're Anna's cousin. Oh, Richard says something about like, oh, yeah, Anna's terrific or something like that. And Brandon goes, we think she's terrific, too. Isn't that right, mom?

Like, right in front of everybody. It's like, holy shit, kid, come on. The big problem with this is like, don't tell the kids anything. Just use the address. Don't introduce them to Richard. Don't even make a thing about this. You don't need to know. Yeah, you're totally right, dude.

Like, they don't need to know a fucking. single thing about it. And the only loophole I can find in that plan of not telling them is Andrea Zuckerman does see the address on this new student's form at this register's office. What does she nosing around for? But then her nose and

around would help expose this girl, which might actually be a problem with a fucking police case, which would be great to see Andrea Zuckerman getting her just desserts. By getting this woman murdered? Yeah. Totally, dude. The blood is on her hands because she was fucking stick her nose

didn't belong in the office. Exactly. And then they find out that she's not registered correctly either. And then she's just shit canned right out of here. Well, she does get to that. She talks about like I could be outed as well. Well, there's this like secret network like fucking the diary of Anne Frank of all

of these people going to West Beverly that shouldn't be going to West Beverly. And they have to like sleep in people's fucking cabinets and shit. I do not understand what is so great about this high school. That is the tone Jim and Cindy Walsh give to the kids like they're hiding people in the fucking addict.

It's crazy. I was surprised Jim didn't say, okay, Brendan, Brenda, this is Agent Richard. I mean, cousin, cousin, Richard, cousin. I thought it was going to turn out to be a thing where Carla, like, you know, was undocumented or something.

That would have made a lot more sense. Yeah. Since we already kind of get a lot of the cat out of the bag, this whole episode has this air of mystery, which is useless. And then at the end, you find out that she's actually just a murder witness. She doesn't even live, she lives in Pomona. And she saw this kingpin involved in some murder, and she had to testify, and they moved her to L.A. to hide her to keep her safe.

Also, the police could just go to the high school and be like, yo, can we just put, can we stash this girl here? Is that going to be okay? Or unless fucking the kingpin has his tentacles everywhere, and the only people they can trust is Jim and Cindy Walt. By the way, remember, this is a show about high school kids. Thank you. talking to each other and relating and maybe making out a little bit. And no, the mafia's involved now.

Yeah, it's like she witnessed a drive-by shooting where like a little boy... It's actually a gruesome line. She's like, yeah, these dudes drove by this house. I watched them drive by three times and then they drove by shooting. And I saw a bullet ricochet and hit a four-year-old in the face.

Yeah, it's like, Jesus Christ. All his brains fell out. Now listen to Steve Sanders complain about the scrambled eggs. Yeah, totally. It is such a nothing. Because the whole thing is like she can't tell him something. You don't know what's up with this guy with Rich.

Named Richard is two or three or four scenes. And then at the end it's just like, I have to go. My planet needs me. There's a big fucking shootout. Bye. So they agree. We go to West Beverly. David Silver is in this episode quite a bit, which I appreciate.

He's getting some play. But it's kind of a funny thing. Just like, I'm trying to think of like the track record of, The last few, I mean, so when did he take over the, the radio station gig at this point? At least two or three or four episodes ago. Okay, so, and we haven't like seen a ton of him, really. No. You know, over the course of those episodes.

But it's like every time you see him, really, like, he's like fucking Mr. Senior Love Daddy, dude. like he's not leaving that radio station yeah Samuel L. Jackson and do the right things character but I'm just like will this kid be let out and if he is let out

can he do something other than take photographs of women through windows eventually but right now we're just making prank calls to MC Hampton I don't even know if it's a prank call he's trying to get in touch

with MC Hammer he wants MC Hammer to play the prom exactly yep as as Steve Sanders or no Scott tells him Scott tells Steve Sanders what the deal is. I couldn't believe Scott has a line in this episode. Yeah.

It's the best because Scott, like, David makes his phone call, yada, yada, and like, he's like, can I talk to MC Hammer? And it's on the air. And it's like, back and forth. The secretary, she hangs up on him. And then, like, Steve goes, hey, Sam. Sam, and Scott's like, what?

Oh, yeah. The Sam, Scott makes up. And then he's like, it's actually Scott, Steve. And he's like, yeah, shut, whatever, because he's in fuck. What is going out with him? Hammer. He's like, well, he wants him to play the prom. We all know it's not going to happen, but that's David for

you. Dude, it's actually kind of a great Scott line right here because he goes, I know, because Steve's like, that's never going to happen and he goes, I know that. MC Hammer knows that, but David doesn't know that. And Debbie Gibson doesn't know it either. What are we doing

with that? I will say this episode has, because now like Dylan is back. Dylan. I don't know where he's been. He's been surfing. apparently it is this episode for months he was been months surfing even though this episode's bad shit and weird and stupid and bad it is a regularish episode because the gang is just a gang of kids hanging out yeah you know what i mean like steve all of a sudden steve is not a racist to just brandon's very good friend which is good uh donna and kelly are all around there is this

i do love this like z plot which isn't even a plot which is like dylan's wandering eye because Carla shows up and she's walking, I think she walks into the school and Dylan, like, totally, like, Brenda's talking to him about, like, Chick-Shine or this and that. And he's just like, uh-huh, uh-huh. Oh, hey.

He, like, kind of like, totally crates this neck. Like, come on, dude. Both him and Steve's victim d'ar goes off and they fucking follow the fucking noise. She walks into Andrea Zuckerman's office looking for directions. She meets Brandon, and he's like, oh, you're Carla.

you're welcome and she's like what he's like you know what I'm talking about oh Carla you're from the wrong side of the I mean hi yeah it's weird this whole like a dress thing it feels like Brandon thinks that gives him

like power over her absolutely does because he's doing her a favor dude and that's the way he sees it he's like oh I'm looking for whatever building is like oh well I'm walking that way anyway so how's it going so you want to date me. You want to stay in my house. You got an SMID. Yeah. I bet they don't got buildings

in East L.A. Hey, Carla, you getting ready to get married or what? I mean, he's not really into it until he learns that she's Red Pigmalion. Oh, that's right. That's what really does it is that he finds out she's smart. So now she's worthy of fucking Brandon Walsh, the scumbag. And he gets really, really invested. Like, his emotions are like super hot or super cold and it's just ridiculous and his clinginess. It is a lot and he we had to have this like a little montage of her being

smart in class and Brandon falling in love. It reminded me that Simpson's thing of like Bart Simpson. Bart Simpson. Bart Simpson. You have a right answer all day could you please stop raising your hand? Just rewatch that one recently. But yeah it's great because like she tells him

like oh yeah. He's like, so what classes are you taking? And she's like French whatever lit and technology or something and he's like weird basically all of my classes and then it's like yeah it's her being like

speaking very well in French then yeah she's participating in some English lit convoy and then she's like what is the deal with the computer lab because Brandon and Scott are like holy shit she had some correspondence with Al Gore she's working on a fucking

flux capacitor in there it's insane And in all these shots, there's shots of Brandon, like, looking on admirably thinking in his head. She'd make a great senator's wife. Senator Brandon. Maybe she is making a flux capacitor to prevent that murder. And Brandon is like the biff. Like, someday you'll be my wife. Seriously, you may as well be yelling at her in the street like that.

Lorraine! You got to keep your stupid uncle out of here. raid two montezes with the same gun but they're walking back and he's like wow you're really smart you'll probably get a scholarship for short or whatever college you want and she's obviously offended she's like i don't need why do you think i need a scholarship i can probably afford my own way out of all this shit and he's like whoa whoa whoa hold the fuck on i was just talking of financial aid something everybody needs, including me, and I'm like, you little turd, you're fucking getting a free to ride wherever you want to go, you piece of shit. You're not, you know, Brandon Walsh does not have

student loans, I'll tell you that much. Probably not, but I feel like that comment was innocent enough. It's his, it's his reaction that's over the top. Exactly. You know. Yeah, and so they kind of don't hit it off. And he's like, what do you come by my job? And she's like, you have a job. I was like, yeah, big fucking surprise, white, a white guy with a job. Yeah, I fucking work, bitch. Now date me. I'm wooing you, you whore. Yeah, totally.

Yeah, I think he got the wrong information from the negging packet. Like, the packet, like, you know, you want to neg someone a little bit? You go a little bit like, oh, you know, I'm not even that interested. That's kind of negging. But really fighting them on their core values

all the time. Way to speak French, you beautiful fucking idiot. So she's like, wow, I'm impressed. I will go to the peach pit and see all your friends. Yeah, you fucking better. Like, this girl is going through enough. That's another thing. It's just like, I don't, you know, unless this drive-by shooter has moles in every high school. Like, what is it going to be the big deal to let people in on this? Exactly. I just, again, or at least the administration to be like, hey, look, this is this girl. She just needs a place to go. No questions asked, right? Cool.

And then guess what? You can circumvent, yeah, circumvent the whole Walsh family, so she never gets entangled into this thing. Yeah, the whole thing doesn't make any sense because, like, what they describe the two guys is, like, two scumbags who just, like, shot at a house and Rick Shaden killed again. Yeah. They're acting like it's Catherine Zeta Jones's husband from traffic. And he's, like, a sprawling fucking thing. No, well, she, I mean, I don't, you know, I don't think it's supposed to be fucking Pablo Escobar or anything. but like there is some line

you know about like because she's like oh have you ever heard of so and so and Brandon's like oh you know when she's coming clean at the end of the episode he's like you know why she you know is he famous or something like that and she's like well actually he's this very powerful gang member

like whatever the position of criminality this guy has or whatever so like he is someone of note like maybe like a lesser I was picturing kind of like a lesser level Gus Fring kind of thing or something

I'm thinking a lieutenant maybe at best I was thinking El Chapo begins We go to El Chapo Remember an El Chappo had to find the

Blue Rose on that mountain Yeah Oh totally That was crazy And he burned down That guy's house Rub your chest El Chapo Your arms

Will take care of themselves Yes Figure out how my name is Razal Gould Oh yes I remember El Chappo trouble another member of the League of Shadows he loved being in the League of Shadows

because he loved digging tunnels we go by the way that blue flower was Poppy Oh sure dude yeah you get a little like metal and crush that shit up Absolutely we get to the Peach Pit Oh man Joe E Tata's fucking creditors get another

Get some get some fucking down payment Thank God he had worked this week Poor Nat. When Brandon introduces Nat to Carla, he's like, here's Nat. He's ugly. No, that's Steve Sanders. It's everyone standing around and that, they're like, and this is Nat, lovable Nat.

He's like, yeah, he's ugly, but he sure doesn't make a good buy. Yeah, I was like, are you kidding me? I'd be like, you know what, you fucking be mulleted rapist. Get out of here. You know what, you know what, Carla, yeah, hi, this is Nat. Yeah, the ugly one. Yes, hi. You know, your friend here was in with a single mother last week.

And the week before that, he was in here with my masseuse about to get it on. Yeah, Brandon, whenever he's like gets any romantic entanglement, he's like, I have to save them from their stupid life. Exactly. Like, as opposed to just understanding what their life is he'd be like, wow, any way I could help possibly, if you ask me, I'll do my best. Or I don't know. Maybe you don't have to change anyone's life, man. Maybe you're a fucking 17-year-old kid and all you want is a hand job. at the movies.

Okay. You know, can we just stop with the white night shit? The Nat part, I do think like the movie. Oh, you mean Ugly Nat?

Sorry, we got to call him Ugly Nat, so we just don't confuse him with our the Nats out there. He's ugly Nat. Welcome to Ugly Nats.

We're changing the feet to ugly Nats. It's also now becoming a really scuzzy biker bar instead of a quaint diner. Yeah. But like the movie is like, oh, this is Nat.

Yeah, he's a little older, but he's our friend. They're like, oh, you know, don't let the grease stain bother you. He makes a great pie. Ah, he's ugly. Oh, yeah, don't worry about the smell, neither.

Oh, I get it. I get it. It's my big ears, isn't it, kids? Yeah, well, children, I can't help that. But, yeah, so, like, she's enjoyed the peach pit, and everyone is placing orders in this Chick-Shediter catalog. Go and ape shit about it. I was really thinking, and it doesn't happen.

It's actually nice that, like, something nice happens, to all the kids. But, like, I was anticipating it was like, oh, Donna or Brenda, like, after I told you that Chick Schneider was going to, like, give us all this free shit from the catalog, yeah, that didn't happen anymore. You can't have any of that stuff. And then all of them would be mad at Brenda.

That would make sense. I mean, they're getting their hopes up or something, you know? It would make sense, like, kids, I meant, like, for you. Now you're, like, fucking thousand units on your list. Well, yeah, exactly. Like, because even at the pitch, the peach pit, like, they're looking through the catalog and whatever, and Brandon's, like,

Oh, hey, Brenda, you think Carla could get in on some of that free merch? And she's like, oh, definitely. And then, like, Dylan's getting a fucking shirt. And they're all getting jackets. And I was like, this is way too much. You're abusing Chick Schneider's generosity. Well, that's the big surprise of the episode. It's that Chick Schneider turns out to be kind of a mensch.

Yeah, he's a really nice guy. Except for his factories in Mexico, I guess. Yeah. Well, you know what, Eric, Chick Schneider didn't invent capitalism, man. That's not his problem. That's true. You're right. Hate the game, not the player. I want to see Brandon's reporting on this also.

He has these facts right ready to go. The big fucking cover story. I do love, yeah, they're all going through. You imagine Steve being like, hey, hey, Nat. You think they got a fucking face mask? You ugly fuck. Yeah, look at this. Look, it's a neon pink face mask, you ugly fuck.

Refill my fucking soda, you ugly piece of shit. And how about some more cold eggs, you sack of shit? This is the series finale. They all come in with a bucket full of money and say, Nat, we got your money so you can change your ugly fucking face. We don't want to look at it anymore. And you can look beautiful finally because you're so fucking ugly right now. It would be great of like the kids like rolled up bars of soap and towels and beaten

this is for all that free pie, scumbag. Giving him a soap party. I enjoy that image. But this is actually a little 902 no history here. This is like the kids finally just all hanging out using the Peach Pit as a hangout, which we'll see a lot. I mean, because we haven't seen it yet, right? It's only been like Steve showing up occasionally to talk to Brandon or whatever. But like now.

Dylan coming in through the back door. Exactly. It's mostly been Brandon Nat and like the ghosts of Christmas past. Oh, Mr. Whatever his name is. Damsel. Mr. Danzel, yes. It's all the fucking people in the diner in that Twilight Zone episode where the dude running the diner is the. alien they're all looking for.

That is what I will always picture with the peach pit. I actually have to say, it's kind of shocking that people like Donna Martin and Kelly Taylor will fucking agree to hang out at a counter diner situation like this. I guess it's like kitsy and fun for them possibly.

Does it ever get a facelift at all in the show? No, I mean, I think it does look better, like it gets a little pinker, I feel. I think 50s Americana is very in in L.A. right now because of the Melrose play so Didn't they have Johnny Rockets in it or something? Yeah, that Johnny Rockets is all over that show.

So whatever. She actually catches the eye of two busboys who are Latino and she's like feeling bad. And then like Brandon is driving her home. And he's like, wow, this is where Anna lives, this war zone. Oh, God. Fucking cue the pan flute score. My God. The musical cues are.

Look at this fucking war zone that me and my friends will gentrify in a few years. these will be our starter apartments. It's just your castanets in the background for no reason. It's East LA and we're racist. I thought you were for some reason doing the James Bond theme song there for a second. No, that was like a Spanish guitar, Mexican guitar kind of a thing. Oh, I see. Because what they did, I mean, Kevin, I think you were alluding to it.

Yeah. Is like they changed the theme song and like slow it down a little bit. and you've got the, like, the clicky, like, percussion, like, you know what I mean? The castanets come when he gets to her house and Richard is there. Yes, that's exactly what it is. But the pan flute is when he's driving in and seeing the day laborers. Oh, oh, okay. And I just, like, bolted right up.

I'm like, holy fuck, racist. Yeah, it's, yeah, these day laborers, like, where are those guys going? And she's like, well, they're going home. They worked all day. Where did they work? It's like, I don't know. Have you, you've lived in Los Angeles. Angeles for like six months now, right?

You'd watch TV or something. Yes, exactly. Yeah, like turn on the local news, man. I don't know. Or just like, don't be such a bonehead. And she's like, yeah, that's who's working in all your friend's houses. Oh, wow. And he drops her off. And he's flirting with her, but also like nagging the shit out of her.

And then Richard kind of gives her a dirty look as she gets in the house. Do you like, ooh, what's that about? Oh, he's a fucking secret agent, I guess. Oh. meanwhile we go back and Brandon's singing the praises to Carla to Anna and like Anna is like all over this episode of like she's not always in a part of this family absolutely not real real quick gotta pump the brakes for a second because to add onto Brandon's gross ignorance here like one of the things that he basically says to her when he's dropping her off is that her notions of racism and class inequality are in her head. Yes. Holy tits.

This kid sucks. Because he's like, oh, you know, I just don't see it. I'm like, yeah, because you're fucking naive.

You're white. I mean, you're not experiencing any of that. Of course not. No, I can see everything that's going on

from up on my tower. Luke, I'm from the middle of the country. That's real America, Carla. Your American experience is unlike mine, therefore invalid.

At least, Listen, you've got your problems. What? You saw drive-by shooting and everyone is working for less than minimum wage. Cool. I ordered from this Chick-Snyder catalog, and it came in the wrong size.

Fucking ridiculous. Everyone has problems, Carla. Yeah, like, for instance, I drove drunk, crashed a car, totaled it, and there were no fucking repercussions. I didn't get a thank you note after I did it. You believe it? Not even a thank you note from the officer in charge.

You know what kind of hell I have to go through? Sometimes I get fries and they're not really hot. Carla, do you ever go to a drive-thru and order fries? And when they get in the bag, it's onion rings. That's injustice, Carla. Yeah, it's reverse racism, Carla. I got soggy onion rings. It's reverse racism when David Silver can't even get a call in to MC Hammer, Carla.

We've all got problems. Yeah, I forget, is Michael Douglas' character and Falling Down also named Brandon Walsh? I think that dude's a fucking teacher at West Beverly, man. Defense. What does he do for a job in that movie? He was a defense guy. Yeah.

Pistols and shit, I think. Oh, then he got laid off. Right, right, right. Where, wait, where has he been eating his lunches? Killer. Give it to me. Give it to me. Hey, hey, give it to me.

What's this doing in there? He's a Vietnam jungle boots. Anyway, that guy's character's terrible. Yeah, oh, God. RIP, Joel Schumacher, by the way. Oh, right, right, RIP, damn. But whatever, we kind of go on. Brandon's kind of singing the praise to Anna,

and Anna's like a little bit, like, uncomfortable, but clearly she doesn't want to upset the Prince Walsh boy, you know what I mean? Like, Little Lord Fauntleroy, I could have you fired Anna. Have her suck my dick right now. I want it, Anna. Anna, you owe it to me. The part where he's just like, Anna, Anna, why doesn't Carla come with you to work so that I could drive her to school? Yeah.

It's like, I don't know, what do you fuck, dude? Ask Carla. Don't ask me. But this is like the sister fucking thing, right? Like, no, Carla's party. She uses the address. She's my sister. she watches me bathe and he can flirt talk in the morning.

Oh, yeah. And they do that in this episode. Brenda is like, oh, it looks like you got a boner there from Carla. Instead of, well, actually, I'm sorry. Instead of doing that, she says, you've got that come on, baby, light my fire. I'm like, what are you 45 years old? You're quoting the doors? Yeah, no thanks. You should be quoting that terrible band in any age. Holy shit. It's weird, man. I think Eric's right, though. It's like, It's like my sister, but it's okay if she jumps on my boat or in the morning. Yeah.

Hey, mom. Can Carla sleep over? This could be the key to those whole thing, baby. This could be it. They, uh, whatever, moving on, you know, more David Silver nonsense. This is the Scott and Steve's seen, uh, blah, blah, blah. We kind of go on to Dylan comes to the peach pit and, you know, he's like, I don't know, man. There's this divide between the two of us, like a cultural divide.

of some kind. And they're like, I don't know, just fucking relax, dude. Either she likes you, she doesn't. What do you want? I don't know. Brenda does, has her own little moment here when they're having their talk. And he, and she like, she quotes like, Capesimo. She's like, people are people, Brandon. That's all you need to know. I'm like, no, that's, that's like not what you need to know. Well, it's a weird thing where she's like, they're having a discussion in the bedroom.

and she's like, you know, oh, did you, like, oh, I think, you know, I think you're falling for Carla or whatever. And he's like, well, whatever, Brenda, do you have a problem with that? And it's like this whole thing about like her being like, you know, no, I don't care about fucking, you know, mixed race relationships. You know, how could you accuse me of that? Blah, blah, blah. And then, like, they're at the same time getting ready for that dinner or whatever. They're like planning the menu or something. And you have a fucking, another douche chill Cindy Walsh line. Right.

Oh, yeah. Oh, that's it. She's like, so Anna, they, where are the tamales? You're just like, Jesus Christ, you are hopeless. You're all hopeless. Anna, I just, I want to make sure the menu's not too spicy. This is Chick Schneider. I don't want him like, I don't know,

blowing steam out of his ears, you know, Carla with your crazy food. Do we have enough Tortilla chips? What is salsa? Am I just going to go to a specialty store for that? And sorry, Anna, we can't

pay you more for the party. It's a day you're working anyway. Yes, you're staying later, but whatever. Go to the cops. Go to the cops. Oh, and another thing, Anna, since Carla's using our address, I think she could be pressed into service for tonight, hand out some hors d'oeuvres.

That's a kind of weird thing. So before this, there's that weird. they go on sort of a date where Oh, when he kidnaps her from the bus stop He makes her up She's at a bus stop And it's sad because Andre is at the next bus stop over And she's like, oh, it's branded

He's got to, oh no Dude, that's how you get a huge fucking laugh Is like you see his fucking Ford Taurus wagon Or whatever drive by another bus stop And you can definitely just see Andrea noticing that it's the two of them in the car Maybe they're at a red light and they're just laughing, having a great time. Sorry, Andrea, you don't look like Marissa Tomey.

So he's like, hey, where do you want to go? And she's like, well, do you like to dance? And he's like, kind of sort of. And they go to this rec center. 60% of this episode is this dance sequence and I can't get over it. I was really uncomfortable. I had just eaten two hot dogs for lunch before I, uh, and it's just like I wanted to throw up. Like, the dancing here from Jason Priestley specifically is quite bad.

It's also weird how they intro this scene. Like, she is acting like she's going to take him to, like, her grandmother's grave or something. It's like, it's very, I can't tell you about where we're going to go, but we're going to go, okay? And it's just, yeah, it's a dance club. It's the dance club, and they're just kind of dancing. It doesn't really come to much. You do, this is a Brandon thing where he doesn't like to dance and he's bad at dancing. And he is bad at dance.

Is that a character trope that continues or something? I believe so. I think later on people will be like, let's go dancing. And he's like, I don't dance. Jeez.

I mean, I'm with you, Brandon, on that one. Whatever episode had the David Lynch lady with the blue gloves. He's dancing in that one and he also has weird legs.

That's weird legs. By weird legs, do you mean like short little Jason Priestley legs? Like little kicks, like the little... Oh, he's dancing like Elaine? Yeah, he's got a little kick.

thing going on. A little faster than Elaine, but... Oh, shit. He winds up, he drops her off and again Richard is there and he's watching them. Do they kiss you here in the car? I might have looked away. Yeah, they are making out right here.

This is where they do a sexier Latin flare version of the theme song. Yeah, of course. And then Richard is like looking at it on the next day. Best cut of the episode, right? here. Please, you go for it.

Best bit of editing, I'm sorry to say, is they cut from like that dude Richard being like, Haram-Fee's tongue-kissing that girl to Jim Walsh sitting on the floor doing sit-ups. Oh, it's so great. James Eckhouse just having to do real sit-ups for this role.

Poor bastard. And also does this weird thing where like Jim and Cindy know what's going on, but they can't tell the kids. Yes. Of course you can. They're like, oh, should we tell them the truth or whatever about cars? Yes. Just tell them, it's easy. Yes, it's easy question.

I mean, it's the best case scenario to get Brandon to back the fuck off a little bit. But it's also the best case scenario for the two of them to then go fucking tell Steve Sanders or something. And then the next thing, you know, this woman's dead. Yeah, that's true. Those two kids can't keep their fucking mouth shut. And Cindy and Jim know it. And that's why they're not telling them. The kids that loose lips.

What Jim has to do here is kill his entire family. Sounds right. just totally go in a fucking rampage why does hair Eckhouse run a muck pull up the stepfather

you're in it now Jim you're in it now Jim you're in it now Jim I do or possibly maybe Mr. whatever this El Chapo sends a fucking

death squad to the Walsh House to fucking obliterate all of them because now they're in it now they're fucking with the cartels man this is not okay

you're totally right dude it's like the last fucking 35 minutes of commando yeah I mean it's the end of this episode was the Chick-Schneider party

and then it was being shot up it would be amazing like machine gun fire throughout this party totally like paramilitary activity on the Walsh Kamenade and like Brandon's like zippity do-da really having a big old song about it and really

feeling good and then he sees Carla and he's like oh what are you do I was going to invite you to the party awesome that you're here and it's like well I'm working the party he's like that is such and he storms into the other room not it doesn't ask Carl, like, oh, cool, so you need the money or whatever. You know what I mean? Like, whatever it is.

You talk to Carla first and just be like, oh, cool, you know, whatever, what you need, whatever. And he goes in and he starts fucking yell at Sidney Walsh in front of Anna, too. This is the thing you take Cindy into another room and have this conversation. I'm really shocked he got his high horse into that house so easily. He didn't even have to duck, dude. That's so short Jason Bristley. Well, she's, yeah, she's Latina, okay? I get it.

But she's not like Anna, okay? You know, she's odd. No offense, Anna. you're lovely and you're a member of our family we couldn't do anything without you whatever else we tell you all the time but it's gross that she's doing Anna work okay

and like listen if you have been like dating this girl for a while or something like maybe you're like hey this is uncomfortable but I'm sorry dude you kissed this girl one time and she didn't even really want to go out with you in the first place like she's nothing

to you exactly she owes you nothing don't be glued to her the entire time, even if you like or fucking talk to Dylan or someone mingle at this party. Don't make it so fucking weird. And if it's too much for you, go to your fucking room, Brandon. Exactly. He has to be the white knight.

It's got to keep doing it. Every time. So Cindy's like, hmm, and he's like, well, you can take me off the guest list. And then Jim Walsh, in one of my favorite scene, goes up to Brandon's room and it's like, listen, getting chick Schneider to come here was a major coup for me.

You need to hold this shit down. I You need you to. For some reason, I need you to be a host of this party, you child. Like, if it's, I mean, like, the thing is like, okay, Brandon, you know what to do it? Here's 20 bucks. Go to the movies. Don't come back to 11. That's it. Exactly. Like, does Chick Schneider demand to see his entire family? And it's like, if I don't approve of your daughter and, and son, there goes, there goes our business. I'm sorry. It's all a great question because that was my biggest question mark for this whole episode is like, why? Why are they? I don't know, like maybe I missed a line or something where they justified why it is.

They have to have all. And I could also see, you know, it makes more sense almost if it's like, hey everybody, dad's big client is coming over for dinner. And it's just a dinner party where it's like Chick Schneider at a plus one or something like that. But this like massive party and like they're not even really like talking about, you know, there should be some sort of thing

where Jim Walsh is like, I want to welcome Chick Schneider and all of you. This is a great partnership. so excited to start or something like that. A toast would be great. But I feel like the premise is like this show is written by people way, way older than the cast, way older than us.

And I feel like it's just a retread of like 1950s, 60s television of like, the boss is coming over for dinner. Yeah, totally. That's absolutely it. And like, get the beve out of here. And they do this thing, like, you, if it was, if we didn't know anything else about Chick Schneider, this blow up that Brandon has,

like it's, I don't know how I would go on liking him. after this. But, like, they kind of, they kind of subvert that by, you hear Chick Schneider talking about how he'd like to, like, take a sip of Carla. Yeah. He's like, I'll take another margarita love. I'll drink it with you. And it's like, ah, yeah. And like, that's, Brandon doesn't hear that, but he acts like he did. Wait a second, Carla, before you go away, give me another margarita, but you're underage, right? Oh, good, good. Oh, yeah, I'm a margarita with you. Well, I think that's part of what this party is

Because it's like, I feel like Jim Walsh was like, I don't know Oh God, you know Yeah, of course we'll have the party Just this weird thing, my daughter and her friends Are really into your, oh, they are My daughter, how old are your daughter? It's like, oh, it's like 17 or- Hey, would your daughter and all of her similarly aged friends

Like a bunch of free bathing suits Only if I can put them in my next catalog. Oh, right, there is a fucking weird thing where Kelly's like, ooh, take our picture. Chick said he wants us in the next catalog. And I was like, of course he did. Anna, this is Jim.

Do you have like a niece or something? Chick Schneider needs more young girls at this party. Oh, just hold on. I have to make a phone call. Hey, Chick-Shall, yeah. Epstein, I got a live one. I got a live one. Oh, Jesus.

Anyone notice who played Chick-Schneider? No. I was, because it was driving me crazy. It was one of those things. I've seen this guy in something a million times and I don't know what it was. And I looked it up. He's in the wedding singer.

You are the worst wedding singer in the world, buddy. Wow, really? That's a great line in that movie. One more operas like that. I will strangle you with this microphone wire. Absolutely. That's a trailer line. That's fucking great.

Oh, actually, before we get too far away from it, in this dinner party, one of the folks on the team helping out here with the catering, there's a dude. You see him a couple of times, but he's most prevalent in, he's got the most screen time in the Brandon yelling at Cindy

in the kitchen scene. There is a dude off to the side unboxing a bunch of wine that looks exactly like Jeff Foxworthy. Mustache, mullet, the whole thing, it's great. It's pretty fantastic. Yeah, but Brandon's playing host here and he's like, oh, what would you guys like?

Blah, blah, blah. Because, you know, he's been talked to by his dad and he understands that like if he if he fucks around, he will need financial aid. So, you know what I mean? You've got to keep Jim Walsh happy here. Yeah, Papa Bears fucking pay. in those bills, dude. Yes, Chick-Sheniter

is revealed to be a bit of a lech, but not only Dylan and Steve here, and like, oh, good thing Brandon didn't hear that. And then Brandon is like, oh, hey, Anna, could you do me a favor? Could you have move some... You're a servant of mine now, right? So, like, yes, I do. You've to do whatever I say. Yes, I do. Would you help me with these chairs in my

parents' rooms? He's like, I guess I have to. This is my job. And then he brings her into his bedroom and he closes the door and he's like, now that it's just the two of us. I'm like, this is not all right. By the way, when Chick Schneider, when that's overheard by Stephen Dillon, Stephen Dillon need to be on Brandon Lookout now

and keeping them away from Chick Schneider. But yes, he goes to the room with the girl here. It's kind of a funny thing, though. I mean, it's a horribly wrong-headed move here uncomfortable as all get out. But it's fucking hilarious when they get in the room and he closes the door and she is staring at a Minnesota Vikings poster

and she goes, wait, this isn't your parents. Like, what gave it away? And she's like, listen, I can't do this right now. And he's like, why not? Tell me. Tell me. And she's like super uncomfortable. She kind of storms out because she's keeping her dark secret.

But she also doesn't want to suck this kid's dick at a party that she's working. She doesn't want to ask this dude's D. And she doesn't want to be fucking murdered by the gang that's chasing her. And she doesn't want to be saved, Brendan, you idiot. Exactly. I mean, she might have been safer not relocating. seriously let the cartels

take their toll she goes downstairs Brandon's sulking and then he overhears Chick Schneider being ah this is the greatest

party I've been to in forever you know the next line we're doing something in Mexicali it's gotta be fantastic is oh I hope you're paying

them a fair wage which is like it's right but it's wrong it's just sort of like there's a time and a place you don't have to be an asshole about it

like it's not your it's either either your and you also didn't care about it other than the fact that you want to fuck this one girl. So, like, if Brady was really into fucking labor rights and labor disputes, I'd be like, cool, that's his character. I happen to have printed out this article from the economist

and it says that you have been sucking Mexico dry, sir. What do you say that? It's like, to what end? Like, to what end, Brandon, with this telling off of Chick Schneider? Is he going to be like, you know what, Brandon? You're totally right. Let me close down this factory I just built. I mean, Brandon's, his emotions are a roller coaster right now

because he found himself attracted to an Hispanic person so suddenly they're people to him in his eyes. Oh, yeah, it's true. He's like, would I want to have sex with Anna too? Wait a second. There's an East L.A.? So Chick-Snyder is like, ah, yeah, you're probably right, kid.

And he's like, actually, like, whatever rolls it off his back. I'm not going to make a scene because I don't, if I fuck it up, I won't get Kelly's number. it's kind yeah probably you're right actually but it's kind of like this dude all of a sudden turns into rodney dangerfield because he's just like oh yeah you're probably right kid well anyway let's eat and i was like let's eat indeed chick schneider hey jim uh chick schneider again yeah uh i asked for kelly's number and i got who donna who is donna what's what's this number never want to have to find yourself. I said the blonde, not Donna. Hi, is Kelly there?

Oh, I think I've dialed Donna. You know who could get sexually harassed by Chick Schneider? Donna. You don't even do a new teen. What if Donna saw murder? Her own. It's the start of fucking the original DOA, like Donna walking into a police station.

I'd like to report on murder my own. I'd love it. Whatever. You can tell also that the screaming at Chick Schneider and that whole thing catches the whole party's attention. And you can tell exactly the level of douche chill we're talking about right here because Chick and Jim like moved towards the dining room or whatever

and the party kind of follows. But left behind, you just see Luke Perry in the background And Dylan is making this shocked face of like, wow, that's really uncomfortable. And I was like, man, if you can rattle Dylan with how awkward something is, that's got to be pretty awkward. I mean, maybe he was just shocked at like the Chick Schneider's level of jokes. Like, hey, Brendan, you're a sweater as you come with a free cup of soup. So whatever, he kind of tries to apologize to his dad. And he's like, sorry, dad about the whole party.

The party goes off pretty much a big success. He does say, uh, uh, Jim Mollster's like, well, we're just lucky Chick-Stineer has such a good sense of humor. I'm like, what does that mean?

There's one great moment where Jim is like, looking over the clothes and he's like, oh, what do they call this? Deaf, dope, rad, Foxy. That's when he's taking the picture.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, I got strong American beauty vibes with him and Kelly, by the way. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's just him.

It's her in a bathtub full of rose pedals. Suddenly life is fantastic again. He's working out in the garage incessantly listening to Jimmy Hendricks. Yeah, Steve Sanders is crying over a Nazi plate. It all fits. But yeah, he's like, hey, dad, sorry about tonight. What is the deal with Ed? I said, Brandon, I can't tell you. We made promises. And that is, but like, once that happens, though, you don't leave that room until they tell you. Yes.

Because it's just, I'm not going to be able to go to sleep tonight. You're going to tell me what's going on. It's like that, it's like anytime someone's like, hey man, can I talk to you about something tomorrow? And I'm like, no, we got to do this right now. Because now you've ruined the rest of the day. Because it's all I'm going to be thinking about. So, Jim, you can't tell me that you and mom have some secret about this girl that I like and just expect me to go to sleep and forget that.

You got to tell me. and so look yeah I know you have to like look after this girl for a while because you know she witnessed the murder and everything it's most important that you do not have a gun you know most dangerous people in the world are hunting her don't have any weaponry

in the household not needed so the next day Anna shows up he's like hey Anna can I want to speak to Carla and she's like well you really kind of can't because things have changed and he's like what and he goes to find Carla she's at some park for some reason

there's some cookout that's happening. I don't understand what this was. And she explains finally this whole situation about her deal and all this stuff. And it's basically he's like, wow, I guess I didn't know you at all. Like, no fucking shit, dude. No fucking shit.

It's also, though, it's really frustrating the switch of this character because at the beginning of the episode when you're thinking that it's, you know, this girl that was at a bad high school that is, you know, really excelling in academics. She wants to be a lawyer, you know, but she was in the wrong school.

She's from the wrong neighborhood. We're trying to give her an upper leg here, a leg up, rather, like that kind of a thing, right? So that's, like, how they position the character. And then she's like, oh, whoops, just joking. You know, I... I live on a fucking college campus. My dad is, like, the administrator of some college.

We all live on the campus, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's basically saying, like, you know, Oh, don't worry about, like, this character that we told you, like, was, you know, bringing herself up through tough circumstances. No, no, no. There's no one that could actually do that. Like, she's fine. She's rich.

That's why she's smart. All the tension that was in the episode, that was bullshit. Oh, I'm sorry. Although, like, the tension mystery, it was bullshit. I'm sorry about that. It's so ridiculous. It's a ham-fisted fucking murder plot. But, like, if you still want to keep the murder thing, that's totally fine.

But why does she also have to be rich and the daughter of a fucking college he's president or whatever. Exactly. It's so dumb. This episode is awful. It's totally bad, man. So that's kind of, and he's like, well, I'll always remember you. And she's like, no, you won't. He's like, no, I won't. We have one, my favorite scene of the fucking episode, end of the episode, we're back at

school. Dylan, to keep this thread going, totally clock some other girl. And Brenda's like, I saw that, which is, that's a B plot I would like. Dylan's got a wandering eye. Brenda's upset. I want to watch that. story. Yeah. Totally. Can I ask you guys something?

Because obviously this is as far as I've seen of 902 and now. Sure. Does Dylan do anything else from now on

besides being Brenda's like put upon boyfriend in like five second intervals here and there? He eventually does have a character a lot of character things where he does a lot of stuff

but for some reason this early this early going they have no idea to do with this character. It's crazy. It's so crazy to me I mean especially because like looking back and

again I didn't watch this show growing up but like you saw commercials for it you know and it was the lead into Melrose Place and everything so like you know I knew what it was I saw the ads and everything and the way that they advertised the show of you know at least when I was

watching live television you know aware of it was like it was the Dylan show yes so it's weird going this early and being you know understanding now that like he was not you know Luke Perry in that way early on I think that's a it's a thing in season two

they sort of start to figure that out just because like it stops becoming about the Walsh household and it's about the high school and we're spending a lot of time in the high school and all the ins and outs and Dylan is very prominent you don't mean which makes a ton of sense Andrea and uh Brandon are in the are in the office I know I love the scene I can't I just I forgot about it and as soon as you said her name I was like oh right there's more to this episode uh god this is brutal this is fucking nuts it's just the two of them she's complimenting him on some article that he wrote. She's like, you know, blah, blah, blah. I didn't even change a comma because

this is an earlier thing where he's like, oh, you're always riding me about my fucking spelling er. And she's like, you're a great writer. And he's like, you know, this whole experience with Carla just reminds me it's so much better that things aren't complicated between the two of us because neither of us are romantically attracted to each other. Oh, man. You kissed me a week ago. No, I didn't. You know, Andrea, I think it's pretty great that you're uglier than Nat. And you have a dump truck ass. Anyway. It is so fucking rude. I mean, like, it is one thing to have a platonic friend and be like, it's just great that we're friends. That's okay. But using the words romantically attracted

is like, ouch, man. Out! Nat, what are you doing here at school? Oh, wait, that's Andrea. Sorry, Andrea. I didn't recognize you with your ugly ass Mr. Magoo glasses. Yeah, Andrea, the thing is, I'm not romantically interested you, but I would hit it and quit it. You know, no romance, but if I could fuck you, I would fuck you. Andrea, it's important that you know that I'll never fuck you. Bye.

Chris, he says that, but then he wakes up in bed with Matt. He's like, oh, fuck, I thought you were Andrea. Brandon, things are going to get a lot more interesting at the peach pit. I found the pit. Oh, no, no, no. I don't know if that's the blackout line, because at the, And then, like, Andrea, like, he walks away and Andrea, like, it's kind of amazing that what Gabrielle Carteris, by the way, I just saw her, uh, the only other time I've seen her in anything. She's in Raising Kane for a hot second. Oh, wow. Is she really? Yeah. She's like one of the victims. Like, she plays like this late. She's like some lady that. She's, uh, she's walking through an empty parking lot after her retirement party. she's like a younger woman

like a babysitter or something and John Luskow murders her and she winds up the trunk of a car which rules Is that movie good? I've never seen it. It's terrible I think it's good It's bad shit It's Brian De Palma

You'll have a fun time watching it But it's Fisgau right It's good Lithgow too Yeah I think it's a bad movie But a lot of fun But anyways But yeah

But Andrea like she changed Her neck gets like six inches longer And she goes Yeah Friends or something like that. It's one of those, like, look at it at least. If you put it in slow-mo, you can pinpoint

the exact second or heartbreaks. Like, it's awful. This poor girl. And just he goes out of nowhere to fucking, off the top rope to kill her. It's amazing. Jeez, Andre, why are you the color of a blood orange? My God, Andrea Zuckerman is dead.

Oh, my God, Brandon Walsh off the top rope. Oh, that's just not fair. The episode was over, and he got her with a steel chair king get out of five bus routes to find out where she lives and inform her mama she's gonna be crying

at the bus stop tonight oh the poor girl what is the blackout well the blackout it's fucking dumb as donkey shit like you should have ended with the two of them parting ways in the park you know it's like by Brandon

by Carla credits. Then you have that scene with... Oh, of course. I forgot about this, yes. And then we've got to go back out into the hallway, and it's one last time of David trying to call MC Hammer. And the joke is, the whole time he's been getting hung up on because he's accidentally

calling Debbie Gibson's house. Yeah. Okay. What the fuck? I mean, also, all this shit would have made more sense if we had the MC Hammer music and Debbie Gibson music that was it originally in the episode. what does this end with Shake Your Love

It probably does or whatever it does But to Eric's point That makes sense Like at least you're like Weaving it in Yes That this is what these kids are listening to And this is who these kids are

I'm seriously I would pay a good hundo For a fucking fucking DVD set That has all the fucking original music Because I want that experience I want to experience 91 or 92 And you're just taking away

From your episode You're making things not make any sense. Yes. But you, you just know that like that whole week beforehand it was like, Nato 2.10 this week special cameo like Debbie Gibson. Exactly. Totally.

But it's just her, it's just her, and this is like one line. She's like playing with a dog. And it's just like, bye or whatever the fuck she says. She's like, oh, MC Hammer or whatever and hangs up the phone. And then he calls back and he's like, oh, Debbie Gibson,

this is David Silver from West Beverly. high. I've been trying to reach you all week. Yeah. And you're just like, and I don't understand, like, when he's on the phone with her the first time, and he realizes that it's Debbie Gibson, he looks down and there's a Debbie Gibson CD. And I was like, is her fucking phone number on the back

of the record? Like, I don't... How are you calling these people? Sales are down on your new record, Debbie. Maybe you give them your phone number. All right, Debbie, you know who could give you a call if you put your phone number on the back of the CD is Donna. Donna and Debbie

just gabbing. Hey, Debbie, it's Chick Schneider. Throwing a party. Bring your nieces. Yeah, how old are you 21? That's not going to do. What do you say to a barbecue on a private island owned by my friend?

And that's how it ends. That's the blackout. Yeah, it's just Debbie Gibson looking at the camera like, that's the end of the episode, ladies and gentlemen. Uh, so that is it, any parting shots and are you excited to do this? Yeah, and, uh, yeah, we're excited to keep this going and I will, I want to be very clear this. We were all through July, you will get one episode a week.

It's going to be awesome. And, uh, sometime in either the late fall or early next year, uh, Melro 2. and no will absolutely return on Patreon. 100%. Somehow. Somehow. Somehow. So, uh, Eric Siski, anything?

Um, well, I think this is a, a bad episode of the show because, it just drives me up the fucking wall to see Brandon keep making all these stupid fucking decisions and the supporting cast dwindled down to nothing and we get this this the fucking hack murder plot like fuck this but I'm excited to continue because you guys keep promising me the fucking sky with this Dylan character and I've yet to see it materialize Chris Cabin I mean Eric's got it right on the money for the both it's an awful awful episode and also I know that this episode we didn't

Jim was the better Walsh in this episode but you have to remember he's responsible for all of Brendan's behavior so really it doubles up so Jim still sucks well Cindy's should be of fault a little bit as well I mean but like we don't get enough with Cindy anyway dude you're talking about King Walsh right now

tread lightly my friend also Brandon's 17 some of those choices and things are on him sorry to tell you Gavin. Hair jupin I just want to say that Debbie Gibson was born in Brooklyn, New York, but grew up out on Long Island.

That's good to know. I just, I pulled up her Wikipedia page for no reason. Was she big? I don't think, I've heard the name, but I don't know what, like, what's her hit? Shake Your Love is a big one. She was Mel Gibson's little sister. I don't know.

Actually, I don't, I'm not too familiar with her work. No, yeah, she, I mean, she had, you know, Foolish Beat was a huge song. like her, she had a big album in like the late 80s when she was like a teenager. No, yeah, this episode was trash. Again, I am just, I am on Dylan watch

at all times. It was just, it was it was interesting to see this show fall flat on its face again in such a big bad way. I mean, this was a bad one. But, you know, it's the first season of television show, so that's to be expected.

Just a bit of a bummer, you know? but yeah I'm you know me I'm down what am I doing I'm a I was a sucker for the peach pit scene just because it reminds me of where this show is kind of going where the show should go like the less time spent at the Walsh house the better like let's stay in high school all that shit yeah I do think I agree with Eric this fucking murder subplot is a hack move a total with the capital H it's so brutally bad um and it doesn't it sounds like a rewrite to me like maybe they didn't know what it was it was supposed to be something else they're like oh that's not good How about a murder?

I don't know. Yeah, I really don't know. I just know that it doesn't work. I think in the writer's room, it was like, no, let's keep this a mystery because we don't know what we're doing here. I think they figured it out at the end. Exactly.

We can't eat lunch until we figure it out. Murder? Sounds good. Also, like, it is important to point out, because we just mentioned it at the top. And, you know, like we do with a lot of our television recaps, we just kind of go on and don't really acknowledge it. But the title of this episode is dumb as, Don't just make an east side story.

Is everyone paying attention? Good Lord. Trash. Zero out of ten stars. Yes, it's not very good. So that's it for this week. We will see you next Thursday when we return to Melrose Place

for House of God. Oh, yeah. The debut of Joe. We're super excited. So until next week, I have been Stephen Sadek. Andrew, Cupid. Eric Cisca. Chris Gavin. Take it easy. Remain indoors and wear a fucking mask. That was a hit-gum

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