We Hate Movies - MELR0210 #9 - 90210 "The First Time"

Episode Date: April 20, 2020

On the first episode of this week's MELR0210, our 1990's prime-time soap opera do-si-do, we're chatting about the Beverly Hills, 90210 episode, "The First Time," which originally aired October 25th, 1990. This episode is a real Walsh Family Affair as Brandon's ex-girlfriend from Minneapolis, Sheryl comes to visit; Brenda babysits for her algebra teacher that she also has a crush on; Dylan does some sexy dancing with Sheryl at a hot, L.A. nightclub; we visit the robotics lab all too briefly, sans Scott; and Kelly goes through Brenda's teacher's underwear drawer! PLUS: Cindy Walsh lays awake all night wondering if her teenage son is having sex feet away! MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. Hello and welcome to Melro 210, a side show of the We Hate Movies podcast. Please put on your sunscreen and remain indoors. This is a confectionary treat in increasingly dark times. I am joined, as always, by my good friends and co-hosts, Eric Siska. Hi. Chris Kevin I didn't know if I was supposed

I didn't know if I was supposed to say anything Chris We're extending the New York pause We're extending it two weeks Andrew Jupin And I am Stephen Sadek As I did not say earlier Hi Stephen

Hi how's it going Let me take a pause and talk to you for a second Pause You can pause but don't you idle Or Billy Idol will come out after you. Oh shit, yeah. Dude, Billy Idol should have been the gym teacher on their show. Oh, that could have worked out swimmingly. We do have a mention of a gym teacher. We'll get to you later. Oh, Jesus Christ, Brenda. This is the first time, by the way, this is Beverly Hills 902 and O. We do Beverly Hills 902 on Mondays. On Thursdays, we drop a Melrose place. Here, we're back in high school again. Adjust your backpacks. It is the first time, original Air Day.

October the 25th, 1990. This is a sexy episode. I got a very sexy episode. We're finally getting the sexy kids that Steve promised. And like every fucking episode now, it starts with Brenda and Brandon flirting half-clothed. Dude, I am waiting for the fucking insane tab on Pornhub to open up on this fucking show, dude. The show, like, the, hang out with your sister's shirtless when you're 16 and she's like barely dressed too. it's this shared bathroom

I'm not into Brenda we gotta practice kissing well honestly it's like I think the thing is like it's cool they're twins they're like they're half of the same entity so really they just be kissing

themselves dead ringers over here yeah it's just masturbation if you're if you're twins and you fuck your twin it's really just masturbation exactly right yeah no no no Brenda

we just we watch each other do oh yeah that's what we do It's legal that way. That's what we do. Now that nobody's listening. I want to say now that nobody's listening. Chris Cabot inspired me on last week's Melrose Place portion of this adventure to really start paying attention to the subtle variations on the opening credits.

And just like little things that you're getting here and there. And especially in early days of television shows, these things kind of. like change just a little bit as far as like what clips they're inserting during like the you know it's this actor it's this actor or whatever a new one that i noticed at least it may have already come up in previous opening credits but i had to pause it i was laughing so hard is when we get to our good friend mr james eckhouse there's a clip of him playing like this tiny keyboard oh my god are you that that episode is like the moon landing i'm so excited to i mean it's dude look he looks like a little kid like la la la do do do we play piano and but that that is one of

those theme song things that sticks with him forever like it's like 10 years of him on this show and it's always ed james that guy teet dee i fucking love it i also it's also kind of to the beat of the theme too it's like he's playing the theme song for you well they do that in this episode like all the it's like secession where like you literally can't have a piece of music that's not that fucking theme song like to go through a piano version at some romantic moment in this episode and then there is a fucking synth version that blew my head away yep it's fucking great dude it's like when people submit uh variations on the we hate movies theme to us which i fucking love and keep doing it man i was thinking actually i'd love like a 90s like pop synth version so so get get on it ladies and gentlemen

anybody with a saxophone as well as welcome to join in oh fuck dude our theme song played on a saxophone please someone get on that i'm begging you please we would have to throw out all the other theme songs yeah and we don't uh plug them enough uh our theme song originally made by hurrah bolt of light you could find they've some great they don't think they make music much anymore under that label but their album is awesome and find that on band camp uh agreed so we start this episode my question also about Is there a third door to this bathroom, or is it just a corridor bathroom? It's a connected by Brenda and Brandon's room bathroom. So that Jim and Cindy would have no way into this bathroom.

No, exactly. So all Brenda and Brandon have to do, man, click, click, lock those doors. Someone's taking a bath. Oh, are we saying that Jim and fucking, what's her name, Cindy? Cindy Walsh, my friend. Yeah, Jim and Cindy. Are they bad parents? Are you fucking serious? Do you want to play this game with me?

Fucking disgusting people. Dude, my phone was blowing up all night with Chris Cabin, not Jim Cabin. Chris Cabin talking so much shit about Cindy Walsh. I cannot even, things I won't even repeat. It was, I was shocked at some of the stuff on a group thread about Brandon. And it was like, okay, I'm talking to myself like, you're not watching it until tomorrow, so maybe not pay that much attention to it. But I couldn't look away. These texts from Chris Cabin were like a fucking car crash.

He was right though. I fired it up this morning and Cindy is a piece of shit. She fucking sucks. Cindy Wall sucks. Usually she's so cookie cutter, oh gee whiz. And like this episode, it's a, it's a parenting disaster that she gives. Like you know what I mean? Like this is almost a parent's worst nightmare.

It's the Hindenburg of parenting decisions. So we're, we open up that they're in the bathroom, they're just talking. Brandon's doing this like Dennis Leary routine about fucking air quality. And I'm like, dude, shut the fuck up. Dude, it was like Dennis Leary. If he was like 10 years old, there was fucking serious boomer territory. How about this, babe? Okay, heat wave in November.

Does that sound normal, huh, babe? Oh, see, that's Dennis Miller, friend. We're talking Dennis Leary. Right. But even still, yeah. The Dennises are connecting. We've been in quarantine a long time. And I have to look at fucking Brandon's tiny nipples an awful lot in this episode.

I was staring directly into. Brandon Priestley's nipples, Jason Priest's nipples, and I was like, whoa. You absolutely would need the fucking diamond dealer's little, like, the several microscopes. Oh, the loop? Yeah, yeah. Can I ask you a look at this thing? What is with the cross he's wearing? It's a religious symbol? I think it's just a 90s thing. We kind of, no, I mean, I'm serious, though. I mean, like, yes, obviously. No one else in the family is wearing that shit. Yeah. Well, you're not like, yeah.

I think more to what Steve is saying, is like, especially in the 90s, I'm sure it's still around now, it's gotta be. Like, you just, some people just had a chain. Like, you just wore a chain like that. Like, I got a thing, I remember, I don't know if it was for like my fucking confirmation

or my First Communion, one of them fucking cult ceremonies. And you know, it's just like, that's, like, your grandmother got it for you. And it's like, now you can take the Lord with you wherever you go. And I'm like, well, make up your fucking mind. Is he inside me the whole time or not?

The confirmation. is such a Catholic scam. I'm sorry, I got you cut you off. No, I just said, ew. Think about the Lord inside of you. Because, like, if you're a Catholic born and bred, like I am, and Andrew is, you get your baptism, you got no choice in that.

And then, like, when you're 13, it's like, well, now it's your choice to get confirmed into the... And it's like, I still... I'm 13. I'm not, like, fucking making my own decisions now, all right? I had it worse, though, dude. I don't know why it was,

but my church did it way later. I wasn't confirmed until I was a junior in high school. Oh, wow, okay. And at least by that point, though, I was like, you know, a fully-ish independent person. I had, like, a driver's license. I could go do things by myself. So I scammed the scammers,

and I took all of that confirmation money and bought a fucking sick stereo system with it. Did you want to do? My mother was furious. I was baptized Catholic, and then my parents left the church. They thought it was good. They thought it was bullshit.

They got out when they get, was good in the early 90s. Aren't you supposed to spend the confirmation money on your own, like, huge wooden cross? Yeah, here's your confirmation money, Andrew. Now off to the lumberyard. Now carry it through town, and we will whip you, and then we will nail you to it.

Oh, Andrew fell four times. He's not a true Catholic. So anyways, that's what you wanted to hear is Catholic stuff on this show. Why not? So Brandon is just expouting stuff. everyone's kind of going to bed. It's late. He gets a call from his, Cindy Walsh breaks in and he's like, hey, it's Cheryl on the phone. And Brandon's like, Minneapolis, Cheryl, wait,

what? And you find out that Brandon's kind of had this girlfriend this whole time or, you know, he broke up with somebody just as he was leaving Minneapolis, who he's never mentioned ever. Right, but this is the move, though. I'm sorry. Like, you have to cut off. Like, you're moving from Minneapolis to Los Angeles. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're cutting off that relationship, dude, right? And if she calls you, you'd hang up. You got to keep those tiny nipples unattached, dude. Unless you want to attach them with some nipple clamps or something,

just so you don't lose them. But what's great is also I was doing the math on this. Like, what time is it, like 10.30, 11 o'clock? This girl is calling, like, 1 a.m. Minneapolis time. That's a good call because Brenda definitely, because the phone rings and she's like, oh, man. dad's going to be so mad she he hates when my friends call after 11 yeah so it's like 11 30 it's like 1 30 a m minneapolis time and this girl's calling like oh hey brandon good to catch up by the way i'm

stopping in to visit you guys this weekend and he's like oh awesome and cindy walsh is like oh gosh a nice minneapolis girls coming to my house she's so excited it's like a weird she uh Cindy walsh she tries to fucking have it both ways in this episode So she tries to have her cake and eat it to because she's so excited that this Cheryl, nice Cheryl from Minneapolis, hon, she's going to come visit you here in Beverly Hills, don't you know? And she's like so like, oh, Jim, what do you think? You think they're going to rekindle that spark or what? And then what this girl is this? She's eavesdropping on the fucking phone call. Yeah. And when the girl shows up though, dude, it's all like, oh no, Jim, now they're

going to fuck, I can't believe this. It's like, Cindy. you cannot have this both ways you enabled the fucking ing exactly was this a thing in the 90s where you were allowed to be like oh yeah oh you're going to fly out here in my day that's cool one day from now 24 hours okay that's that's interesting it's well pre 9-11 dude who's much easier just hop on a plane i guess she's an unaccompanied minor they've got somebody you have to be oh okay i'm gonna call your mom in the marnan just to check in just to make sure what her flight time is, look, you have to pick this girl up. Like, you know what I mean? This is a child coming

to your home from flying to your house. You absolutely have to pick her up and drive her to the airport. No cabs. How did she get this money from to fly? Great question. Maybe it's confirmation money. I was going to say, as we learn at the end of the episode,

or like maybe halfway through the Cheryl. Well, she, maybe, but she ran away from home. So maybe she fucking stole a wad out of mom's drawing or something, you know. mom's wand. But like, even like, I understand like a sleepover, like if Kelly's coming over for the weekend, you don't really have to do too much legwork as a Cindy Walsh. You know what I mean?

Like you ask if everybody's cool with it. You don't have to like talk about it. Everyone's a little bit older. But again, flying to my house, absolutely, I got to have a conversation with your mother. Yeah, yeah. Because this is like now, now she is in the hands of the Walsh's, you know what I mean? And this is, I think, exactly what she's, or maybe it's a gym is trying to express it one. You're on the hook here.

That girl OD's in your bathroom. You're going to jail. Yep, absolutely right. Question number one, am I feeding this fucking kid? Great question. Absolutely. Now you're up to your ears and fucking hamburger meat. Oh, geez, hon, shouldn't have fired that Mexican from last week.

She could have been making some of those disgusting enchiladas. Get the big ragu bottle from Sam's Club, the big one. Oh, God, Ragu. Oh, I'm vomiting. Oh, yeah, the old world style. There's a little guy in a gondola on it or whatever. But this is the Costco version. It's so big, so there's an actual guy in it with a boat.

Yeah, I'm sorry. It's not even Ragu. It's Kirkland brand tomato sauce now with oregano. Oh, dude, Minneapolis-style, man. Oh, geez, hon. You really sprung for the good sauce. It's got the little guy on the boat there. Oh, Minneapolis-style.

It's got apples in it. It's got peas and carrots. Yep, that's what I was just going to say, the abhorrent spaghetti sauce recipe of putting peas and carrots in it. That's fucking culinary terrorism. Oh, wait, you call this spaghetti sauce? That's actually applesauce here.

So we go to school. There's some speed metal. I mean, we always have to talk about the placeholder music that obviously from some, you know, it was a pop song, and now it's whatever the fuck. It's like, for some reason, it's speed metal this time around. It's very odd. Was it speed metal?

It felt like speed metal to me. Yeah, I mean, there was like, I was trying to see... It sounded like the dueling banjos. I was trying to, like, Google some of the lyrics because some of these songs in the episode sounded like they were real songs. I just didn't recognize them. So we opened on Brandon and Dylan in robotics class.

I love it. Dude, where was fucking Scott, man? I have to say, we can't be in this technology lab and not have Scott around. Steve and Scott credits, credit only, not appearing in this episode. Oh, that's, it's tough. This episode, I have to say, on the whole, is tough because this is super Brenda and Brandon heavy. Sure. And like, you know, like, yeah, I and Zering got a week off.

Very little David Silver. Some Dylan. It's a Walsh family Christmas. it's hell on wheels did someone say hell on wheels I'm sorry I didn't mean to do that oh bohanan is my teacher and I'm going to babysit for him and I want to fuck him

oh dude yeah we got to talk about bohannon this baby this teacher Mr. What's his face here? I'll pull it up Steve were you able to say baby teacher babysitter teacher I was going to say baby teacher yes Matt Brody is this guy's name Mr. Brody What a name. Can I tell you, I looked up this guy's credit, and I want to find this more than anything.

I'm sure it's not streaming anywhere. He played, he was the guy who played Captain Power in Captain Power and the Soldiers of the Future, which is a TV series from 1987 to 1988 and 1988, where a group of guerrilla fighters battled the evil machine forces to dominate the future Earth. I'm so into this. I can't even tell you. Steve, I passed out when you were reading the description. I'm giving a look for it right now.

oh dude these outfits are amazing holy mackerel okay uh so anyways he's captain power no he's like the hunky uh algebra teacher and brenda uh kelly and donna welcome back to the show tory spelling but not really uh they're all swooning over him and blah blah blah he's the hot hot hunky teacher and he asks brenda to stay a little later after class and she's like oh cool this guy's gonna fuck me and go to jail um now here's here's the thing Here's the thing about this teacher. What's his name, Mr. Brody? Mr. Brody.

Mr. Brody, I don't know what Brenda's fucking problem is, but one look at this guy and I was like, what are you blind? The mullet, this mullet is out of, this is like Dennis Millarian level mullet. It's something she could dig her fingers into, you know? Exactly. Sure, it was the style at the time. Yeah, sexual prowess. I mean like, oh my God,

do you know that hunk Jerry Seinfeld? just dripping from him dude this he's got a captain power bullet actually if you think about it oh that's actually true this fucking uh fantasy that she has though he's like he's like oh brenda you know can can i see you have to class for a second and uh fucking dana and kelly like go wait out in the hallway

and she's like yes what is it and there's this fantasy where like this dude's face is like lit with like soft orange light and there's like wind blowing and he's like Brenda let's run away to Switzerland and hide in a village somewhere no one will know who we are it'll just be us forever and it's like I don't need this show to have fantasy sequences like that it's the same thing when they do it they've done it at least once oh yeah they did it out in Melrose place with the fucking Dr. Ruth bit and you're just like dude no it's just too saved by the belly for my taste well I mean those just named three 90s things you know

I think it was just in the cultural zeitgeist at the time. Everyone wanted to daydream because life was too fucking easy. I just need him to look better than this. I need him to not look like he's selling me a TV. That's a great, yes. He does kind of just look like, can I help you? What can I do to get this TV in the back of your car today? So she's...

Brenda, I want to put a TV in you. Let's make love at the whiz. Oh, man, people made love at the whiz. And you're right. You don't have sex at the whiz. You make love in the recliners. So she fantasizes that he's going to invite her on a skiing trip or some bullshit, but actually, no, would you mind babysitting for me and my wife?

And she's like, sure, I'd love to go through your things. This is, I think this is something that you wouldn't be able to get away with now or probably ever. It's just a bad, again, it's a bad idea having a, well, one of your students coming to your house under any pre- It's a conflict of interest. Yeah, no, you just, yeah, you're asking for it. It's just like, there's too many things that can go wrong.

The next thing you know, you know, some fucking dudes knocking on the door at your house, there's a camera crew there, it's fucking hard copy. You know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. Or, you're Sipson, oh! Yes, exactly. Or somebody comes to your house while you're out at the movies

and they're there to do the devil's business. You don't know what's gonna happen. Exactly. Right. It's good to do some devil shit. So, Mr. Brody comes back and throws a candor face. Come on. And Brenda was on a horsey.

It's a California man. That shit happens all the time. Exactly. So Dylan and Brandon in robotics class create sentient life. And that's exciting. oh shit man it's a positronic net oh look we finally did it it's scott bot that's how the sylons started exactly all right scott your big day's coming up you had scopbot he fucking executes the attack on mars from picard so uh but like no

dylan's like oh your girlfriend's coming i didn't know you have a girlfriend blah blah blah he's like well you guys doing it or what he's like well no we never did it yet man but like she's my you know and he's like you know i just told her that i don't believe in long-distance relationships which is the right thing i mean you're in high school like what the fuck doesn't make any sense so uh that's his thing that that's brenda's thing that we're racing home to to meet up with Cheryl Cheryl's not due for a couple of hours she comes in earlier she's already there and Cindy was like oh we've just gambit about the old neighborhood who died whatever uh nuclear grade drop in

like you've got to give me a lot more fucking information here lady even if you're a runaway you should know better than do this you need weeks notice you know you're coming over to my house to to sleep yeah i need a few weeks yeah if i have to get the fucking fold out mattress out of the attic yeah i need a week for that you better believe it so like she's like she's there and like instantly her and brandy are very brandon are very touchy feely kind of a thing and like Cindy's like, oh, maybe having a horny teenage girl under my supervision was too much to ask. This weekend is quickly becoming too hot to handle on. So she's sleeping in Brenda's room.

Obviously, they're kind of getting ready for bed. Brandon goes up in the shared bathroom, of course, goes up to her and is like, yo, come by my room and give it 45 minutes and come into my room. Well, fuck, I mean, or whatever, you know, we'll, We'll do some stuff, man. It's very important. It seems like it's a thing where, like, back in Milwaukee, like... Minneapolis, my friend.

Or Minneapolis, excuse me, you're right. Back in Minneapolis, they made a pact, like, okay, at the end of senior year, like, we're going to have sex. We're going to lose it to each other. Like, it's going to be beautiful. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then Jim Walsh, you know, walks in one day, like, honey, we're moving to Beverly Hills. And the whole plan was quashed. Like, this feels like they...

had set something up before and now it's like Brandon is all like we have some unfinished business Cheryl Brandon wants to fuck so she's like oh I don't know it has to be special because it's our first time and blah blah blah and he's like it's special anyway come on come and then he says the most romantic thing in the world don't say no yep yep Holy shit, dude. I fucking slid off the couch. Well, it's like, are you going to kick me out if I do? Like, now I'm at your sort of whim here.

I don't want to go to a fucking hostel. Yeah, because like, oh, whoops, what's that? I'm 17 years old. I'm in a strange city. I have no money because I'm a child. Cheryl, you won't go to a hostel. You'll go to a hospital if you say no. So she goes into Brenda's room, kind of gets ready for bed.

This is the crazy, like, catch up on the old classmates conversation where she's like, oh, do you remember old Miss Gerhard? Oh, she's like, yeah, the one everyone thought was gay. Remember that gym teacher we thought was gay? Yeah, it's, but it's like, oh, no, she married Scott Such and Such

and Such who graduated the year before. It's like, what? Oh, my God. That's kind of... This is kind of interesting, right? Because Brenda wants to fuck her teacher, and here is a teacher that fucks a student and they get married, apparently, which actually happened at my high school

the gym teacher is that right yeah the gym teacher it's the same thing it was a guy and like he ruined his life with his family and everything and like I think he got fired and he was like sleeping with some chick and then like they got together after she graduated oh but she was a student of right which is just like oh it's weird to set your sights so low then you graduate high school and now you're like living next to the high school still I don't know is that similar to my sociology teacher that got fired a couple years after I graduated for jerking off in the parking lot oh yeah man what was he looking at what was he looking at oh was it all boys catholic high school so you figure it out good well maybe you had a mag in the in the in the car

yeah he had a tiger beat like a true happiness situation yeah we'd we had a fucking history teacher that was fucking uh it was a it was a man student uh had a had a fucking disgusting statutory rape affair with a student and i don't know if the dude ever got caught and then like she was of age at some point and like this guy was like the dumbest dumb as dog dick fucking broed out lacrosse history teacher oh man i hated that guy i fucking hated that guy and wanted him to go to jail so bad i mean the world is nothing but happiness subplots and fucking election b plots that's true uh and and increasingly it's turning into contagion as well yeah i forget that that's been the a story for a little while now hey history i mean the world

at large has a great taste in movies i'll tell them so um everybody goes to bed we cut in on the walsh's uh jim and cindy and she's like i don't know jim this might have been a bad idea what if they fuck and he's like i he's like you know what i'll talk to him tomorrow it's gonna be fine don't worry about it cindy and now cindy is like up all night like uh you know going nuts about this thing and listening to all the noises and someone needs to teach cheryl how to open a door and close a door at night the kachucks that i'm hearing i'm like lady it's easier to do this also go through the secret bathroom Thank you. Thank you. That's just what I was about to say. I could not fucking believe this. It's like this is what you have the connecting bathroom for. This is how Brendan and Branda do it. Yeah, yeah. No. No, Cheryl. I'll show you how I get into his remitt in that. It's insane. She comes in from the hallway.

Cindy's a fucking maniac too, though, because like a pin drops and she just, she just jumps up like Nosphiratu or something. she hears bat wings in the window well that's what I love there's like this little montage of like Brandon is laying there looking at the clock like oh man is she gonna come because she doesn't give a definitive answer about it Cheryl you know she's just like yeah I don't know we'll see I'll think about it so it's like Brandon's looking at the clock and it's like you know 1222 then it's like Cheryl's looking at the clock it's 1245

and then it's just fucking Mrs. Cindy Walsh just laying in bed totally eyes wide, a line from her husband from just a few hours ago, rattling around in her brain, haunting her like a Marley brother, which is you think she'll stay there? Oh, right, yeah. Because she's like, oh, you know, she's in fucking,

Cindy's like, well, she's sleeping in Brenda's room. And then Jim Walsh is just like, you think she'll stay there? Jim Walsh, perpetually looking for the hard way. So they We get in We get some sexy kissing going on here More nipple action from Mr. Jason Priestley

Absolutely It's a hard cut More than a confirmed sex happens For sure Well she CIN or Cheryl is like Hey Brandon do you have protection He pulls out a handgun

Dude I wish he pulled out a handgun Because what he does instead is says something fucking terrifying like yeah i do but you know i don't need it when i'm around the ones i love or something it's something it's some fucking horse shit like my it's like emotional protection or something no no it's it's uh i i've had a lot of i have a lot of protection but i've never had anything to protect that's what is but i've never had anything to protect and i was like hey dude put a fucking jimmy hat on that dick also a weird way to tell you a girlfriend you don't

have a dick you don't have a cock at all. I got nothing to protect. Just a bump down there. The other day, my penis grew, and I was like, Jesus, I've been missing out. So, and then the next, and here's the thing, Brandon. You know, you have sex as your girlfriend in your, in your parents' house night of next morning. Just be really excited to yourself. He starts playing jump jive and wail is dancing around the fucking house. And everyone's like, well, I guess Brandon had sex last night. no other way to interpret it. It's like, oh, wow, how about that? Our underage son got it wet last night. Are you proud of yourself, Cindy? He makes orange juice. He does make orange juice. The big one is he's heading out with Cheryl because she wants to see the fuck. The celebrity,

the movie stars. Oh, my God. This was embarrassing. And he pats Jim Walsh on the chest and says, take it easy, big guy. You might as well. Wear a t-shirt that said, I fucked this woman last night. You might as well give him the condom, be like, can you take care of that from a big guy? Talk to you later. Yeah, let me tell you, let me tell you right now, if I at the age of 17, or actually probably now at pushing 36, went up to my father and slapped him on the chest and said, take it easy, big guy, oh, there'd be trouble. There'd be trouble, and it would be fucking loud. So they go out

On the town We get another montage We get to see that Johnny Rockets again This thing gets a lot of What the fuck Between this show and Melrose It's a national monument I think that's like

It replaces the Capitol Records building That's what L.A. is known for And we can't show the sign Because I think the Hollywood sign Actually has some licensing I think you can't show it unless you pay them Oh really? No, I bet that's expensive as hell

yeah definitely i bet you that's another thing larry cohen got he was like at nope pay me pay me for it uh so they're going to go out to a set a fun brunch and look you know hit the strip kind of a thing we're going to say Andrew no it's just like she is i mean this is it's fucking humiliating like she is like hanging out of brandon's car window taking pictures of houses she's like wow look at that one which celebrity lives there and he's like i don't know share and she's like really oh my god this is amazing it's just I hate feeling embarrassed for characters on television shows and movies and this was making me so uncomfortable they go to a chic brunch and they're going to meet up with Dylan that

was this Steve was this supposed to be the restaurant that's like in the hotel where Dylan lives I think so because I think he says bring her by the hotel so it would make sense oh okay um because he's like oh i want to meet her bring her by the hotel and like he she does and she's like oh upgrade and uh well yeah obviously you're right when you're right you're right so she's like really you know she she you know she like still in right away she like oh do you know movie stars and he's like yeah couple's not a big deal or anything it's like i could take you to meet some tonight at this club it's called the viper room oh man dude they should go no they call it contact but it's contact i think it should be the viper room yeah well

here's the thing like if it was the viper room though you'd need like a shitty band playing sure where i believe when we go to contact club a few scenes from now it's like just a DJ it's like a dance club i do have to say though uh Cheryl continuing her streak of humiliating herself when they get into this restaurant they're being seated for brunch she says to the hostess she's like hey so uh do you know if any celebrities are here right now and this lady's like i don't fucking know and after like brandon's like oh so here's my friend dillon i gotta go take a shit i'll be right back they should have gone to the viper room they should have gone to the viper room because then they could find a celebrity laying outside on the pavement oh man

making light of tragedies uh no but then this woman circles back to the table she's like Cheryl's like hey any celebrities yet and I was like dude someone tell her to chill out Dylan sit her down right here just be like hey you can't really be doing that right now it's uh it's kind of embarrassing no that's why he starts flirting with her a little bays because like oh man could you stop fuck all right yeah I mean and they're just being friendly but she's like oh cool they're hitting it off really well so he's gonna take her to contact club and like brand is like oh Okay, I guess that's what we're doing tonight.

Like, we're just hanging out with Jill and kind of sucks. So then we're getting ready, and Brandon is dressed like he's about to introduce Soul Asylum and fucking Saturday Night Live. Once again, Soul Asylum. Playing the same, the only one song they have. No, they play Misery, dude. They play Misery. We've got a great show here tonight. I'm Donald Trump, and Soul Asylum is here.

around. So Brenda is dressed like Esmeralda from the hunchback of Notre Dame and she's really excited. Well, she's talking about this necklace because she's getting dressed up to go babysitting. Sure. Like Brandon has to drop her off first

before they go to contact club. And Brenda is like, she's got this necklace on. And again, because first we had that comment about the gym teacher. And then she's going to Cheryl. She's like, so hey, Cheryl. take a look at this necklace I'm going to wear babysitting tonight. It's not too

queer, dangly, is it? And I was like, Brenda, what is your problem in this episode? It is weird. I actually didn't even hear queer, but I buy it. I believe it happened. I think I remember it. I could have misheard. No, no, I think you're right. The episode on here, so I'm going to put the subtitles on.

It's on mute. This is what I've started doing, by the way, to just keep the experience going as we talk about these shows. And so they're going to drop her. Dylan's up with this fucking Porsche and he's like and Brandon's got his shit box and she's like and you know Cheryl's like you know I always kind of wanted to ride in a convertible in LA can Dylan drive me and he's like oh okay he's he starts getting so protective it's really kind of outrageous it is kind of outrageous he's being a dick like immediately he goes into Brandon

dick yes he goes he's what prying or crying a prying because then he finds out probably probably both well yeah well yeah definitely because he finds out that she lost her virginity to someone else. Oh, when he learns that, it's a fucking nuclear bomb. Because he drops her off at, he drops Brent off at the babysitter's house, the teacher's house, and he like shows up late to the club, which also like the move should be like, okay, cool. Dylan, you follow me to this teacher thing, to the teacher's house,

and then we'll all go together because they also say, like, it's impossible to get into the contact club. Like, you know, Dylan's a hot shit. So, like, everybody needs to be together to get into this. Yeah, I mean, it is kind of shitty that they go in without him. Yes. But also, like, I don't, I think is Dylan's car? Is it just one of those, like, two-seaters?

Is that what the problem is? I think that might also be the issue. It's a Porsche. It's a Porsche. Are all Porsche's two-seaters? Not all of them. Oh, okay. Sorry, Caput.

I drive a Prius. Cabin with his insights from Connecticut right now. Yeah. Sorry. I'll give you some knowledge here. The worst, I will say, the most awkward thing that happens at this entire fucking episode is Brandon arriving in this club and he looks down. And it's like a rhythm of the night-esque song. Yes. Yep.

Yep. And fucking Cheryl and Dylan are dancing like it's fucking moonlight serenade. Absolutely. It's dancing that does not fit the rhythm of the song and you're totally right. And this was the one time that I was like, okay, like you're dancing off rhythm close like that. right Brandon I kind of get it right here at yes well they're really close they're kind of head-to-head almost and then like Brandon says like hey man thanks for fucking let me in the club dude and he's like oh I left your name at the bouts

yeah well he fucking forgot it well brand it well no but hang on a second Brandon Brandon should get the shit kicked out of him by two huge dudes fucking Vito and Bafo because like the contact club like all these people are trying to get in and he runs up and like just like barges through the door. Yes. And all these other people start storming the front door to this club.

It's like the bouncers would go in, they would fucking find that guy and they would kick the shit out of him in a back alley. Especially how he ends his time here. He's getting bounced fucking hard. Oh dude, like a hardcore jazzy jeffing right here. So like, you know, he's like, she goes to the bathroom and Dylan's like, oh man, your girlfriend

is wild man and he's like yeah well this was to be our night and he's like uh he's like she was hit or he's like are you hitting on my girl right now is like which is and this is not the right answer no she was hitting on me which is like the answer is no nothing's happening you know what i mean like yep yep and maybe tomorrow you want to talk to brandy be like look she was kind of flirting with me you might want to watch her or something like that but usually the movie is just like oh no what are you talking about we're just pals blah blah blah but brandon punches Dylan right now. Oh, man.

This is not something you do. And I think it is a testament to how fucking rad Dylan McKay is, dude, because he's just like, hey, Brandon, like, I know you just punched me in the face, but you really got to figure out who your friends are, man. And that's exactly where I'm going to leave it.

I'm not going to hit you back. I'm just going to fucking leave. It was a great move by him. Great line. Oh, yeah. It's totally great. Totally great. He should have took his head off. I'm sorry. I know. I know everybody should not be fighting or anything, but he's so Dylan's in prison. Spin off. He's doing 90210 years in jail. Steve, any of these kids wind up going to jail doing any time on the show? I think Dylan

does get arrested maybe once or twice, but also Dylan had a little stint on Oz. So that's, if you want to watch Dylan and Luke Perry was on Oz for a little bit, so you can watch Dylan in prison. Wow, Oz Dylan. Luke Perry. Luke Perry was fucking awesome on Oz, actually. Yeah, he was like a preacher. He had a beard. It was working for me.

Now, Steve, like, just, this is another show I know we both watched. I don't know if you guys watched it, too. Does he, is he the one that gets buried alive behind the wall? He is. Yeah. Ooh, that's fucking awesome. Man, Oz was a great show.

I never saw it. Oh, dude, strong recommend, man. So she comes back, and he's, He's already playing party cop because that's Brandon's move always, which is like, how many have you had already? He's like, I don't know. And he's like, all right, so blah, blah, blah. You know, tonight was supposed to be special because we just had sex. And this is when she says, like, that wasn't even my first time.

And immediately he's like fucking, it's the, he's Joe McCarthy. He wants names and information. Absolutely, dude. Like, where are these guys papers? I need to know everything about them. Did you fuck my long distance girlfriend? Did you fuck my long distance They were broken up

He's got no right to have this You know? Not at all He could have fucked In Los Angeles at some point Yeah he was like You got to almost Third Base with that girl

In the hot tub not three episodes Oh Marianne whatever the fuck Yeah you're totally right And Cheryl is just visiting And she's gonna go back to Minneapolis Keep it light You're not gonna marry this girl Exactly

You'll notice that fucking verify piece of garbage Brendan doesn't bring up her the little fucking hot tub incident to her he does not decides to keep it to himself that fucking piece of garbage he should have fucking nutted in that hot tub it's true and he could I mean like that's the thing is he's like who was it blah blah blah she's like we were broken up you don't believe in long distance relationships and he's like uh and then she storms out and he what did you do smet eh and he smashes her drink on the bar and i'm like dude you are getting the shit kicked out of you at this bar here's the thing steve because it's it's like a super smash it's not like he picked it up

and smashed it on the bar he he back hands this drink and the glass goes fucking flying and i was like okay now you are definitely getting jazzy jeffed out of this fucking club yeah you're getting Like, no, you're getting fucking Donnie Brascoe in the bathroom, man. They put this shit out of you. Where's Alec Baldwin's guys? Oh, yeah, dude, you're getting the fucking cooler, absolutely. Because, like, seriously, like, you couldn't fucking hurt somebody.

The bartender probably has glass in her hair. That's not cool. Exactly. It's so fucking dangerous. And the weirdest thing is, like, all the extras just kind of, like, turn and look like, how about that? Here at Contact Club, that happens every night. Maybe that's why it's called the Contact Club.

so he storms out she goes into a cab he's going frantic looking for her we cut to brenda's stupid storyline where she's just you know it's just her and the she goes to the house it's the hunky teacher blah blah blah his wife's kind of mean oh this woman's awful dude i'm sorry this wife is terrible not that jacket it makes you yeah dude she's like not that jacket and the dude's like why and she's like because you're wearing two shades of the same color you fucking idiot and then you find out by the way that they're just going to the movies yeah uh and anybody see who the the the boy is in this scene the little kid no oh sleepless in seattle my friend oh is that right mm-hmm which you're these next year these uh these these little

children are fucking monsters though yeah they're just monsters immediately um she's She's trying to be nice to one of these kids. And she's like, oh, you know, guess what I got in my purse? He's like, let me say. And he takes it and dumps everything out. Also, this guy's just a fucking math teacher in high school. This is a pretty nice house. Yeah, I, yeah, I had a question about that.

I was like, all right, well, what does the wife do? Because you're just a fucking algebra teacher, dude. Oh, I bet he's on the take. Oh. How exactly is a teacher on the take? Are he selling answers to the rich kids? Oh, I see selling it. So maybe he's selling drugs to the students.

Also. Oh, that would be something. He could be running an Ernie Hudson in the Substitute-esque state. Oh, I would love that. Like, at the end of the episode, they have to throw him off a fucking roof. That would be fucking excellent. I'll tell you what. Kelly and Donna show up because they want to see.

They all have a crush of this teacher. Just want to see his house and smell his underwear, which they do. Man, Donna is just, and I assume, as the show goes on, I mean, because she became. Tori spelling for this show that like Donna has more to do but dude here is my impression of Donna over the last five episodes oh Kelly she's just breathing out of her mouth it's terrible we're gonna need more ventilators Donna is here you know it's almost as if she wouldn't have got that job

if she wasn't related to the producer of the show. Yeah, that is really something to think about. It's like all the actors are on one level and then Donna's down here for some reason. Do you think during these first five episodes and however long this continues until Donna gets a Donna centric episode, that Aaron Spelling was like,

you know what I think you should do? Explore the character of Donner a little more. What do you think about that? How about getting Donner an episode? I think that's what this was. It was like, okay, the story, so the episode is Brenda, is flirting with her math teacher and she gets there's a lot of silly stuff with her and the kids well i don't know

maybe don't know maybe don't show up right now it makes no sense for the friends to show up why would you even tell them where he lives yeah yeah yeah erin actually we can get that droning noise that happens when she opens her mouth we can get that done in post we can clear that right up that's no problem i will say i think kelly taylor may have the line of the episode though because they first of all they cop to rifling through this man's underwear drawer and find a photo album which I guess you put

in an underwear drawer question mark it's a sex photo album I have to be right well they're looking at all these old photos of like this dude back in the day and Kelly just goes Brenda check out this mustache I was dying you know I couldn't help but notice that Kelly has the line of the episode

what if Donna said it You know, Donna might like moustaches, too. What if, oh, you know, they go to the contact club, and you know who's working the door? It's Donna. You know, you could have Brenda babysitting Donna. Wouldn't that be a new angle? You know, the Walsh's were supposed to go to the airport to pick up Cheryl.

But, you know, what about if Donna went? Oh, confirmation, by the way, because this episode that I have, I'm watching it again right now, watching it back. It's a little behind where we are. Confirmation that what Brenda says is this necklace two, and they hyphenated it, queer dangling. Oh, yeah, that's not good. Yeah, that's something, fucking Brenda.

So, you know, what if Donna said queer dangling? They're just looking to this guy's photo album And then the wife and husband show up And they're like, oh my God The dude, first of all, the dude is way into this And I don't like this guy even at all It's insane, dude, he goes, hi girls And he's like, oh, you found my photo album, huh?

It was just lying around Because he knows where that photo album was And he knows what they were looking at Dude, he knows that they fucking broke into his underwear drawer and he's covering for these children. But I have to say the wife, hilarious line here, she's like, it's bad enough the movie was terrible. But now I come home and these girls are in my house. So this episode came out in 1990. Oh, nice.

In October of 1990s. I'm so happy someone looked this up. So what they could be watching is marked for death, which came out in October 5th. Well, actually, I was about to say Marked for Death, if this was October 25th, and it came out, October 50th, it was long gone from theaters, but back then you still had some, you had longer runs in theaters

because there were less movies. My money is totally on reversal of fortune. Reversal 100%. No, but I mean, that movie's like, you know, it got Oscar buzz and such. What is that wearing that green jacket to Mark for Death? No, no, no. That's a reversal of fortune fucking wear. I've got a

fucking banger coming up. So, Wait, wait, wait, though, what is Reversal of Fortune? That's the Klaus von Bulow movie with Jeremy Irons. Oh, okay, yeah, I never saw it. And Ron Silver as Dershowitz. That's right, yeah. No.

It's like an Alan Dershowitz hero movie. Oh, well, it's kind of is. It's kind of amazing. Something called Avalon, which I've never heard of. The Grifters, great movie. Ooh, yeah. I think I've seen Avalon. Some Don Johnson movie called The Hives.

hot spot oh that's really that's uh dendous hopper directed that uh quigley down under that oh that's what they saw young young jennifer connolly's also in the hot spot i think oh uh yes i see you're on the poster uh night of living dead remake something called something called white palace looks erotic oh that's james spader fucking uh susan sarandon dude i'm i'm enjoying chris cabin knowing all these movies uh the sheltering sky uh never ending you have selected the sheltering sky never ready story to the next chapter graveyard shift and what I believe

the movie they saw because she said it's so bad troll too was in here well honey I'm done teaching algebra for the week what do you say we go to the movies and take in troll two I think it's either reversal of fortune

or the sheltering sky because that's a Bertolucci picture and I bet you since they have this fucking nice fancy house despite whatever they make They like to pretend they're fancier than that. Oh, I see. I think that might be. I think it's troll.

I think it's troll too. Because then she comes back and she's like, you girls, don't piss on hospitality. Don't go through his underlay door. Oh, I'm not going to sleep a wink tonight, sweetheart. I'm so scared of that troll, too. Do you see how their boy just melted like that? So whatever.

That's like the end of that storyline. Brenda comes home. and she finds out from Jim and Cindy that Cheryl has run away from home and all this stuff and the shittiest line of Cindy Walsh of the episode is like oh yeah she had all these problems

did you know that her parents were divorced and she and I think Cindy is just like yeah that tells you what happened last night which means divorced kids give it up easy man wow that's outrageous I totally miss that's nuts because the whole weird double standard

this episode is everyone's like the parents are like upset more about like sex happening in their house but not so much that brandon's getting it wet but if it was brenda they'd be fucking her head would be on a fucking right yep well this is like a whole parenting thing of like boys will be boys you go get them but if they come near a girl of mine i got a shotgun exactly and it's such it's such horse shit and also like of course the girl that sleeps with your son has to be a harlot you know what i mean a divorced harlot a divorced harlot well so she's like she's not divorced herself oh that's a broken home harlot i should i bet she listens to guns and roses too oh yeah that was dangerous music around now so brandon goes to dillans just to see if he's heard from her

she's there dylan assures him that nothing happened great dillon line right here though dude he goes uh because like he brandon's trying to like you know sort of make nice with him here without apologizing for punching him in the face by the way piece of shit move Brandon but Dylan just goes Brandon that girl's got problems she's in the back puked her guts out I'm just gonna go out for a while man me and I'm actually gonna make it to the Viper room there's some good blow I got to do I'll talk to you guys later just and again Dylan salt of the earth is just you got punch in the face like if you guys need like room service or something. Just feel free to order it. It's cool. I'll be giving some coke to my friend

River. I got some good brown. Oh. So it's been like 30 years. We could make fun of River Phoenix. I guess so. He's not going to come back and get us. Dude, I hope he fucking haunts your house now. Why not? There'll be other ghosts in here anyway. What's going on? When he was, uh, no. You know what I'm going to do it? When he was on the floor, when he was on the floor, some guy walked up to was like, you're lost today, kid. Doesn't mean you have to like it. Oh, God, put a hat over his eyes.

Fucking Gus Van Sant's going to come to your house and strangle you to death. So Dylan leaves, Brandon and Cheryl sort of have it out here. This is when she reveals that her, and he didn't know that her parents were divorced, which is very bizarre to me. Like, that's weird. It seems like something she told him that

he just never fucking bothered to pay attention to. like and I hate my stepfather and all this like wait what the way that she starts this or maybe she does the parents thing first there's a fucking hilarious like she's trying to come clean and be straight with him and she just goes there's one more thing I forgot to tell you about pause pause I ran away from home it's such bad delivery I love it and you know like you know she's like oh I always had to be a certain way with you the walshs because you guys fucking walk on water and blah blah blah and he's like well yeah we kind to do um and it's like you know what oh man you running away from a broken home and all this

shit whatever's going on between you and your stepdad which i'm not going to investigate you know what's going to solve this problem some ice cream yep yep we're going to need lots of ice cream because we're babies we're just little babies and we're playing with bullshit because we're babies It is a very kiddie way to solve a problem, though. It's like, you know, it'll be great right now. A bunch of ice cream. Jesus Christ. Yeah.

Yeah, something is so bad that you ran away from home and flew fucking 2,000 miles away, but ice cream's going to fix it. Yay! So they do that. The Walshers are having their own fucking ice cream. By the way, the hilarious thing, it's clearly Breyer's ice cream. but they blacked out the bottom part of the beast so they don't do the product placement,

which makes it Pryor's ice cream, which is actually perfect for the Walsh family. It's Richard Pryor ice cream. I had a hilarious laugh at some set design here because they're all sitting around eating ice cream. And Cindy has this huge soup bowl that she's using with like one scoop of ice cream in it. I was like, that's such a waste of dishes.

What if we, instead of using Breyer's ice cream, we use Donna's ice cream. She made it last night at home. It's supposed to be really good. So, you know, Brandon comes home. And again, like, if Brenda brought a boy home from Minneapolis that ran away from home, the yelling, no one is going to sleep. But Dylan, but Brandon goes upstairs and, like, I think Jim is like, we need to talk about this right. And he's like, Dad, could we do it tomorrow?

Because I'm really beat. And by the way, I've already had all the ice cream I can stand. Yeah. Again, Andrew Jupin says this to Andy Jupin. There is a you get your fucking ass down here. I didn't mean ice cream, motherfucker. Ice cream. I scream.

So then the next day, everything's okay. Cheryl is leaving again in a taxi cab like I'm sorry Cindy you've got to drive this girl to the airport I know it's a fucking hassle on a Sunday but you've got to drive this girl to the airport look Cheryl Cheryl I find this guy on the on the sidewalk he was he was just walking on the sidewalk and he said he would drive you and you should just you know get your stuff in his back get in there she was an American girl exactly welcome to the fucking black Dahlia dude you've got to drive this girl to the airport it's a 16 year old girl just taking a cab to the airport you assholes it's insane uh so she's about she's ready to leave and um as she's walking out

she's tall and brand like you know i'm sorry she goes i know that i slept with somebody else which you'll never forgive me for again you were fucking broken up this post nothing to apologize for not not a damn thing uh there is kind of a hilarious thing when she's she is like she's getting all the suitcase stuff finally packed and Brandon's like sort of helping her help like like fold up that mattress or whatever and she's like he says something about like oh like what are you going to do now or something like that and he's like or she says yeah well I can't exactly just live out here I can't afford that blah blah blah she goes give me a couple years I'll be back oh yeah no she won't no you won't so as she's leaving she's like you know I will say though

you know it was the most romantic love I've ever had and you know it made me realize one thing and there's the honk of the cab and she's like I got to go and he's like what what did it make you realize and then as she's leaving she goes you're an amazing lover Brandon and Brenda is just like sitting in the living room reading a magazine and almost throws up that is like the biggest pity compliment I've ever heard oh absolutely yeah oh you are a wonderful lover fuck you 17-year-old kid. You know what it made me realize is,

you know what, I'm just, I'm done with sex for a while. Guys just don't work for me. This is, I tried twice, you know, just not my thing. But, oh, there's a great line from, because we're about to talk about Jim Walsh right now in the basketball scene, but there's an amazing line earlier in the episode

when no, it's unconfirmed about what happened. Oh, it's actually after when Cindy says, well, last night makes a lot of sense now that she's divorced. And Jim Walsh retorts, well, what happened last night, is up to a lot of interpretation, which is an amazing thing. Like, Cindy, it could have been hand stuff. There could have been mouth stuff.

Who knows? That is exactly what he's referring to. Exactly. We don't know that they actually had sex, you know, the intercourse. Like maybe there was just some 69. We're like little kid dry humping. Yeah. You know, Cindy, there's this thing called third input they're talking about.

I don't know. It could be anything. Could be anything. You know what, Chris Kevin. I got to tell you, I have not heard the expression third input in probably 20 years. Yes, because it's 1990. Hold on a second. He's got you there.

Chris, can you define this? I've literally never heard that before. Is this ass stuff? Yes, that's anal sex. Okay. Yep. Yep. Wow, that takes me back. Oh, that's a name I haven't heard in a long time. Long time.

Old anal sex. Oh, used to go by the name, Darth third input. Oh, anal one, Kanovi. Yeah, there it is. Third input, that's SIF language. We can't understand. Oh, we have to get the third input wavefinder. Kondolingus eating around.

That's Sith technology. Do you see three people, its eyes turn red when he has to talk about it? Ass. It's ass stuff. But I'm not. Master, I can't read the Kama Sutra. It is against my programming. So we end on this basketball scene.

It's just a father and his son shooting hoops while this girl is getting fucking slayed on the side of the highway. With Jim Walsh's werewolf shoulders. Dude, it's teen wolf. It is teen wolf. He's got this red, this Soviet red tank top on. He looks like a tiny zanky. He definitely does. But this is also patchy.

shit. This looks like he rubbed like glue all over himself and then rubbed himself on the fucking floor of a barbershop. It's your classic I don't have this genealogy in front of you. Your Middle Eastern, not Middle Eastern, your Eastern European curse where it's just like

hair goes everywhere except the top man. It's just... Yep. Yep. That is exactly what that is. And it's crazy because it's like, I'm sorry, dude. Well, one, like just in general, you're on a TV show. You know what I mean? Like, you know that your shoulders and back are going to be on television also.

How about a t-shirt? But at the same time, well, yeah, I mean, how about a t-shirt? But everybody likes a tank top. I mean, the thing is, it should also be like a, you know, James Eckhouse's character, Jim Walsh, like, getting into the Beverly Hills lifestyle. Like, that is a waxed back. Oh, a 40-year-old virgin-esque scene? Absolutely, dude. I mean, it should be as smooth as a fucking bowling alley.

Andrew, I think you're right. He should get into Beverly Hills culture. in a big bad way and become like a plastic surgery addict he's just got like a weird face yeah I started waxing my back why did you do why did you do that Jim ah Patty told me to do it

who's Patty oh she's my secretary oh it's all falling apart you know what if Donna shaved his back so it's just like this scene we're shooting hoops we're learning about life and it's you know

Basically, like, hey, Dad, I totally nailed that broad. And it's like, well, so long as you're careful, if it was Brenda, I'd fucking lose my mind. End of episode. Yeah. No, there is one big thing here. He's like, I know I don't have to give you the sex talk brand. I did that when you were 10. Yeah.

That's a little early. Little early there, buddy. Jim Walsh likes to get stuff out of the way, dude. I know. It was probably after a couple belts of scotch. And he was like, listen here, Brendan. he uh he also like brandon is like just tell mom we were careful okay and then like jim walsh is kind of hinting like details yeah oh definitely because like the last line of the episode is like well come

on dad you always tell me never kiss and tell i was like what conversations are you having with your father i've never spoken with my father like this don't kiss and tell number one number two hit them back walls okay all right so that's the end of the episode as we do here at the end of the show we always kind of ask everybody for a parting shot and or are you excited to continue this journey we'll start with eric siska uh you know i i am excited this was probably one of my i think this might be my favorite um 9021 episode that we've seen so far just because it's like you get to see brandon really being more annoying than usual i don't know there was a lot going on in this episode it was fun it was child endangerment up the wazoo and that's always great. By the way, the actress that played Cheryl Paula Irvine was in Fantasim 2 and 3, which are movies I recommend you don't

watch. In addition to that, she was also, she played the role of Mad Donna in an episode of the Super Mario Bros. Super Show. Oh, no. We might want to revisit that on AD, actually. That's a good idea.

I'd go back there in a heartbeat. Chris Cabin? Oh, hell yeah. Hell yeah? oh that's a hell yeah yeah no yeah it's great i get pissed off at kids it's fantastic i feel like clinn eastwood it does get your blood going doesn't it yeah it's pretty wonderful uh yeah i can't wait uh andrew i will say i was kind of disappointed by this episode and i'll tell you why not enough of the characters that i care about yep and i know that on these kinds of soap opera shows like this we vacillate between like you know it's this character's episode it's

this character's episode whatever i totally get it but like the fact that it was it's an episode where it's just an a b story and both of them are the walsh siblings yeah was a real problem especially when brenda's lame-ass thing is just getting caught looking at a photo album it was just a lot and i'm glad at least dylan was here we get not enough dylan there's never enough dylan as far as I'm concerned. But, like, zero Steve Sanders. And my biggest question is, well, what was that Mollett doing this week?

But no, I'm definitely excited to continue. It was the thing I was realizing because I had some time after I watched it this morning, and I was like, fuck, I want to watch another episode, but, like, I don't want to be then re-watching these, like, you know, twice like that for the show.

Yeah. And I don't want to watch stuff out of order. So I guess that's a good sign that I was like, I want more. Ready to jump. But I have to just be, yeah, I got to dial it. back a little bit here but yeah no i'll i'll death be here uh next week yeah i'll be here and i kind of agree

with you andrew i do miss some of those other characters it's kind of weird like especially like it's been a month and we've had like six lines from steve and he's a huge character and it's very bizarre uh so that's our episode this week uh for beverly hill's nine oh two and no join us on thursday for melrose place next week uh by the way we're going to get into some racial politics on the beverly hills 902 and oh i'm sure i'm sure that's hand I can't wait for Cindy Walsh's take on the situation. Tomorrow on the We Hit Movies Prime feed, you can catch us talking raw deal with special guest Jamel Bowie of the New York Times. We're really excited about that. Later this week on your Patreon feed, if you're at the $8 level, you will get a Nexus episode. A lot of great stuff coming out this week, guys.

Oh yeah, it's going to be a busy week here at the factory. So we got to get back to fucking work, man. So until tomorrow, I have been Steven Sadak. Andrew Jupin. Eric Sisker. Chris Cabin. Take it easy and remain indoors. Okay. Oh, yeah. That was a hit gum podcast.